Every night has been the same. The blurred images of red and yellow, sounds of horrific screaming and heart wrenching sobs. It was an agony that clutched Sans tightly, refusing to let go. Tonight was no different though it started out so nicely. He would fall asleep, allowing his dreams to become a temporary reality.
After so much pain, so much suffering they did it. The loving determined pair made it to the surface. A wish that they had been longing, had been praying for. She laughed, the sun dancing upon the clear, tanned skin of his sweatheart, his angel.
Her smile spread across her face as she gives him a flower crown. Causing a pale red blush to form on his cheeks, burning more brightly as she grabs his hands in hers. Together they were surrounded by beautiful flowers, all bright golden yellow buttercups.
A special kind of floral that both knew all too well. She says something to him, something that he can't quite hear. Her words were fuzzy despite him straining to listen. Suddenly the earth began to shake, the skies went dark with ominous clouds. Frisk suddenly fell into her lovers arms, going limp, becoming cold to his touch.
His little pupils widen in horror as the cursed blooms form upon her flesh. One by one they cover her until she's swallowed whole. Then a darkness stands in front of him, his sweetheart gone and the air cold. He was alone, forced to face the shadows of his sins, his past self.
The darker, more malicious version gives him a look, before offering him a menacing grin. The true skeleton monster shivers at the sight. "What's the matter man? You should be happy, we're finally outta that hell hole!" Sans felt sick, knowing what he was, what he did.
Before meeting her, he was a bastard, not caring for anything or anyone. Down there it was survival of the fittest, kill or be killed. That was the life both him and the rest of the underground followed.
"Shut up!" But he changed, never wanting to go back. His previous self took out a cigarette, lighting up with a frown as the spark struggles to ignite. But eventually he succeeds blowing out a plume of toxic smoke.
Right in Sans face. "To think that you're being a depressed whiny little bitch over one pathetic human. What did you see in that ugly little whore?" Red eyes glowed an unholy crimson. No one, absolutely No one spoke about her like that and gets away with it.
Not even himself. Gaster blasters automatically pop into existence, fueled with magic and rage. Within an instant a beam of red is fired. His skeletal grin at the destruction of his former being turned into one of panic when finding Frisks body taking the hit instead.
She flies, twisting and flipping from the momentum onto the ground. "No!" He teleports over to her, holding her body close to his, blood tears dripping from his eye sockets. It was just like last time. She was dying, and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.
Profusely and broken he apologizes, begging for her forgiveness. She turns her faces towards him, her fingers stretched across his cheek bone...A gentle yet cold touch. "Sans...Why didn't you save me?"
Sans woke up practically choking from fear. It took all he could to not release his screams. Tears leaked from his eye sockets as he shudders. Taking several gulps of air he forces himself to relax as the cold air hit his weary bones. It was another nightmare.
Glancing outside he lets out an irritated groan. The stars twinkled and sparkled underneath the black sky, it was still very late into the night. His alarm clock being the evidence to prove it.
2:36 AM. Suffering from his nightmares on a nightly basis, forced to face the painful lonely reality that she was gone each day. It was a never ending torment for him. But as much as he hated this existence, he knew he deserved it.
Afterall it was because of him that Frisk was gone. Back 3 months ago, he had met the young maiden and her annoying little companion Flowey. He didn't bother at the time to take in the flowers covering small parts of her head, or how they bloomed on her hand.
Nah, the first time he met the girl...he killed her. Pretending to be nice, he electrocuted her to death thanks to a little lethal joy buzzer hidden in his palm. Surprisingly though he was unable to grab ahold of her soul.
She was the last human, her soul was all that would be needed to break the barrier and it was within his reach. It didn't go as planned though, because the moment he tried, time reset.
Back where he was, moments before running into Frisk. At first like any other monster he was confused. Unable to understand what exactly happened. Meeting Frisk a second time, caught him off guard, especially with the fact that she didn't fall for the same trick twice. Their rocky start formed something odd within his rib cage.
As time went on, or at least the moments before and after the 'loads' as Frisk later called them where the two were together, he found her company to be pleasant. But her actions infuriated him! All she did was dodge, and show mercy to her opponents, not even bothering to fight back.
Even after realizing that for each death, a parasitic buttercup leeched onto her body, she still spared those wanting her dead. He had to admit to himself that majority of her deaths were his fault.
Sans couldn't deny he was a sick sadistic beast to her in the beginning. Betraying her the way he did, and on more than one occasion watching her body hit the ground with a disturbing thud. Whether he told his brother Papyrus about her, or killed her himself it didn't matter.
He was a heartless son of a bitch that should be burning in hell for his actions. Despite that though she always believed in him and changed him for the better. That only made his guilt deepen when during their travels he was unable to properly protect the girl from the many monsters that came for her soul.
To this day he still can't understand how she came to be the compassionate soul she was. Even more ironic that her main trait was DETERMINATION. It didn't matter that she was always in so much pain, or what the circumstances showed. She never blamed him or anyone else for her destruction.
Forgiving him, actually loving him the way she did, she made him happy. Yet despite it all he still failed her. Not even death would erase his crimes, it'd be too easy of a punishment.
With an exhausted sigh, Sans turns towards the window, taking one final glance at the night sky with a whisper."Wish you were here sweetheart. I miss you." A ghost of giggle rang through his ear holes.
Her soft melodious voice. A sound he has never forgotten even with her gone these last few months. Taking the images, the sounds of his deceased beloved from his memory he once more falls into a restless sleep.
Life on the surface meant nothing to him without Frisk. Though his fellow monsters were slowly but surely finding a life up on the surface, he hasn't and probably never would without her. And she out of them all deserved the life she never had.
It just wasn't fair...to either of them. And it was time something was done about it.
to be continued