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wake me up has created a group!


wake me up has added lezbiamnot your hentai, maroon 5 wishes, #1 hot topic stan, snow white , and 14 others to the chat!


wake me up: Nedzu thought this would be good for you all, something about bonding, closer friendships, teamwork, that kind of thing


wake me up: and I owe him a few favors so despite literally everyone else’s judgement


wake me up: here we are


fantastic: oh my god sensei is that you??


wake me up: yes.


jack off: i’m dying


wake me up: please don’t, that’s always a hassle to deal with


jack off: ewfrbgaretsbr thanks Aizawa sensei


Staples™: f


wake me up: anyways, don’t cause too much excessive chaos, don’t @ me unless it’s important. Iida and Yaoyorozu are in charge


lezbiam: Thank you for the Mod privileges!


vroom: We will do our best! Thank you, Aizawa-sensei!


lezbiam: We will!


alien queen: y’all cute


fantastic: ^^


vroom: Thank you two, but I don’t feel that kind of attraction.


lezbiam: Yes, thank you for that, but I am actually taken :)


girl: oooo who is it yaomomo??


jack off: it’s me


girl: o congratulations you two!!


friend: would you guys be interested in a double date sometime? (also congrats! kero)


lezbiam: We’ll have to talk about that and plan it out, but I absolutely love that idea! What do you think Kyouka?


jack off: yea, I’m down for it


girl: yay! :D


peppermint boyo: not to interrupt the gay but who is @not your hentai


not your hentai: Shouji


fantastic: that’s amazing


vroom: @wake me up We only have 20 people in the chat, but shouldn’t we have 21?


wake me up: if you seriously want to invite Mineta in, you’re doing it yourself


@wake me up used naughty language! Grr!!


wake me up: ....


wake me up: alright who added Min/ta to the blacklisted words?


Staples™ has gone offline!


fantastic : a true hero


alien queen: Sero out here doing the lord’s work y’all


wake me up: okay had to go to the teachers chat quickly.


pika p1ka binch: thE TEACHERS HAVE A CHAT?!?


wake me up: yes, and it’ll ruin your innocence, stay away from it


wake me up: anyways as I was saying @vroom if you want to add the Grape, you’re going to have to add him yourself


girl: Iida if you add him, be prepared for trouble


fantastic: and make it double


smallmight: might I suggest another option??


smallmight: fuck i forgot this was my tag


peppermint boyo: that’s suspicious Midoriya


smallmight: he’s not my dad!


peppermint boyo: are you sure


deku uwu has changed their name!


deku uwu: very



PM between deku uwu and wake me up


deku uwu: sensei is it okay if I add someone outside of class a to the chat?


wake me up: who is it?




deku uwu has added nya binch to the chat!



PM between deku uwu and wake me up


wake me up: yeah


wake me up: that works




nya binch: what the fresh fcking hell is this???


deku uwu: welcome to the class A chat Shinsou!


girl: hey Shinsou!!


friend: hello


lezbiam: Wait, who is this?


deku uwu: this is Shinsou, he’s from general studies. remember my first fight match from the sports festival??


jack off: oh yea


jack off: hey man


nya binch: hi


friend: he’s hung out with our group a bunch, we can vouch for him


girl: heck yea!! Shinsou’s really cool guys


deku uwu: And before you ask Iida, Aizawa knows, I asked him, and he said I could


vroom: Oh, well, if Aizawa said it was okay, then it's fine.


lezbiam: Welcome to the chat Shinsou!


nya binch: thanks

Chapter Text


Nedzu's hoes

Tea: @wake me up @not a furry fuk u


Tea: How are the chats going?


not a furry fuk u: my kids already had one


not a furry fuk u: the chat was dead in basically five minutes


Tea: mmm


Tea: Well, that certainly explains how close class 1-B's students seem to be!


Tea: What about the class 1-A chat?


wake me up: unlike Kan's kids, mine apparently hadn't thought about a class group chat


wake me up: they've decided against adding the Grape Fucker


go the fuck to sleep: good for them


wake me up: they've also blacklisted his entire name


go the fuck to sleep: that's perfect


marshy mellow: speaking of Grape Fucker, how's the situation with his parents going?


wake me up: it isn't going at all


marshy mellow: oh dear


Tea: We've hit a wall, it would seem. His parents seem unwilling to make changes, or to even see his behavior for what it really is.


wake me up: they're going on my list of most difficult parents, right under Enji and Bakugou Mitsuki, I swear


wheelie sonic: damn Shouta, three entries in one school year 


KFC: hang on, I thought you expelled people like crazy


KFC: yet you’re struggling to expel this one kid??


Gucci Wishes: Yes, it’s very strange, especially with your track record.


Gucci Wishes: You’re not known for being very lenient, Eraser, yet this year you have the same students you started with.


wake me up: the board’s hesitant to expel one of the class A kids, since they’ve been caught up in all the attacks and the board thinks it’ll be bad press for the school


screm dad: they’re probably right about the bad press, but honestly in the long run that little perv is going to cause way more trouble with the media


Asss: sounds like they’re just making your jobs harder


wake me up: yea


Tea: Getting back on track, how is the class A chat going?


wake me up: well they replaced Mineta with a general studies kid


screm dad: wait did they add OUR general studies kid to the chat?


wake me up: yea


wake me up: Hitoshi’s theirs now


screm dad: YES




Gucci Wishes: You know sometimes I forget that you two disasters are married with children.


wheelie sonic: same


wake me up: Tensei, you officiated our marriage


screm dad: dude you did body shots at our wedding


go the fuck to sleep: sometimes old age just catches up with you


Asss: you’d know


go the fuck to sleep: say that to my fucking face, bitch


Asss has dropped a location!


Asss: see you there, slut

Chapter Text


fantastic: hey @nya binch @pika p1ka binch


fantastic: what’s with the matching names???


lezbiam: I must admit, I’ve been curious about that too


pika p1ka binch: ddssdgggfas um@nya binchmoonshine you explain


alien queen: MOONSHINE???


Dwayne: whomst


pika p1ka binch has gone offline


nya binch: gasp


nya binch: i’m dating a coward




alien queen: OUR BOI BE FUCKIG


Staples™: gasp


nya binch: hey wait a fcking minute


nya binch: no one said shit about fcking


alien queen: but are y’all??


girl: i feel like i’m watching a soap opera


girl: damnit now I want popcorn


peppermint boyo: @deku uwu i have an idea


girl: are you seriously going to try to make popcorn using your quirk todo??


peppermint boyo: absolutely. you asked, you shall receive


maroon 5 wishes: please don’t


maroon 5 wishes: at least not in the kitchen


peppermint boyo: i was gonna go outside


peppermint boyo: the kitchen is safe


jack off: did anyone else hear a for now at the end of that, or was it just me


vroom: Todoroki, I’m begging you, please don’t repeat the egg incident.


Dwayne: what do you mean by egg incident??




alien queen: @nya binch HOW LONG YALL BEEN FUCKING???


jack off: i would really rather hear about the egg incident than kaminari’s sex life @peppermint boyo @vroom help a lesbian out please


nya binch: i can do you one better


nya binch: @wake me up scroll up


wake me up: @alien queen


wake me up: sort this out in dms. i don’t want to see hide or hair of this ever again Ashido. you should know better than to pester your classmates in this manner, especially after your previous experiences.


fantastic: @pika p1ka binch @nya binch oof hey I’m sorry guys, i was the one who brought it up in the first place. I’m kinda at fault here too, really should’ve done that in dms


lezbiam: Yes, I also share part of the blame. I’m sorry Kaminari. And I’m sorry to you too Shinsou.


nya binch: denki forgives all of you, says it’s all okay, and that before yall yell at ashido, she’s already here and it’s a total sap fest


Staples™: wait are you guys actually dating?


nya binch: yea


nya binch: we wanted to keep it quiet just in case it you know, didn’t last. it was gonna come out eventually tho. probably better that it was sooner rather than later


Dwayne: is it going to last??


nya binch: idk dont hit me with that crisis today man


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: it had fucking better


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: Shitty Hair and Pikachu are gonna be fucking unbearable if you break that dumbass’s heart and then I’d have to go and beat your fucking ass


nya binch: that’s fair (denki wants to send you a spongebob meme. you know the one.)






Dwayne: bakubro chill




nya binch: thanks kiri – denki


peppermint boyo: anyways now that that drama is settled, my shirt smells like breadsticks


peppermint boyo: i


peppermint boyo: i don’t understand it


peppermint boyo: i don’t even like breadsticks???


~shiny boi ~treason


girl: oh yeah that was me lol


peppermint boyo: what why??


girl: you left it in Deku’s room, and he told me I could borrow one of his shirts (long story) and I thought it was his cause it was just there


girl: and then I put it on and then Tsu and me went out to dinner and I uh,,,


girl: @wake me up is it considered illegal and/or unheroic to steal breadsticks from a restaurant?


wake me up: did you pay for the meal?


friend: yes


wake me up: were they on your table?


girl: not on our table, exactly


girl: but they were on an empty table right next to us and would’ve been thrown away if we hadn’t taken them!!


friend: and technically we did pay for breadsticks


girl: just not those breadsticks


wake me up: alright


wake me up: according to Nedzu and the teachers chat, stealing excess breadsticks from restaurants is a heroic deed and isn’t illegal, and if it is, it shouldn’t be.


girl: yea!! fuck capitalism


wake me up: that is not what I just said, you lunatic of a child


lezbiam: Just leave her be sir.


girl: anyways when we liberated the breadsticks


nya binch: nice word choice


friend: my gf is typing so I’m going to say thank you for her :D


girl: i stuffed them down the shirt and into my bra, cause like. Tsu doesn’t care, it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before.


jack off: i love that that sentence implies Tsuyu has seen you stuff breadsticks down your shirt before


girl: i was referring to my bra and you know,,, my boobs, but okay


peppermint boyo: ew boobs


girl: i respectfully disagree


jack off: mood


lezbiam: This conversation is a mess. 


nya binch: i want it on my wall


nya binch: @wake me up can i do that?


wake me up: you can, but you have to explain it to Eri if and when she asks


nya binch: fck


wake me up: :D


nya binch: no


wake me up: go the fuck to sleep then


nya binch: can denki stay the night?


wake me up: ask yamada


peppermint boyo: you know sometimes I forget that the two of you are actually related and it’s not just me seeing things that aren’t there as a way to cope


wake me up: Todoroki, are you okay?


peppermint boyo is typing....


peppermint boyo is now offline


wake me up: hmm. @everyone lights out is in half an hour. if someone sees Todoroki, make sure he’s okay, alright.


wake me up: I’ve got some things to do. Iida and Yaoyorozu are in charge. I’ll be in the main building.


vroom: Will do.


lezbiam: Mr. Aizawa, would it be helpful if we looked for Todoroki?


wake me up: if it’ll make you feel better, sure. don’t feel pressured to look for him though, all of you at once might spook him. kinda just keep an eye out for him


fantastic: we can do that!


friend: @deku uwu hey is Todoroki with you??


girl: oh that’s a good idea Tsu


friend: it doesn’t have to be a good idea to work


vroom: I don’t believe Midoriya’s online. He didn’t respond earlier when Todoroki tried to @ him.


girl: that’s right


lezbiam: Surely if you spammed him, the amount of notifications would get his attention.


girl: i’m down to try it


friend: not here, we shouldn’t spam Aizawa when he’s busy


friend: let’s create a separate chat for that




girl has created a group!


girl has added friend, vroom, deku uwu, andpeppermint boyo to the chat!


friend has renamed the chat to Operation Spam!


friend: alright


girl: 1


girl: 2


friend: 3


girl: 3!!!


vroom: 3



Nedzu my class is broken – E


wake me up: @DAD MIGHT is Midoriya on campus?


wake me up: kind of time sensitive


DAD MIGHT: No I don’t think so


marshy mellow: I’ve got the list right in front of me, and he went home this weekend.


marshy mellow: why?


wake me up: Todoroki said some concerning things in class A’s chat and then he disappeared


wake me up: Yaoyorozu is looking for him, and some of Midoriya’s friends are trying to get him to answer his phone. I’ve got the kids on the lookout


wake me up: @Tea looks like we may have another situation sir


Tea: Yes, I can see that. What exactly did Todoroki say?


wake me up has shared a picture!


 Tea: Oh dear, that is concerning.


Tea: @everyone If everyone at Yuuei could please keep an eye out for Todoroki. Recovery Girl, I hope we won’t need your services but just in case.


Our Lord and Savior: I’m already here.


Tea: Thank you. Yagi-san, you have Midoriya Inko’s contact information, correct?


DAD MIGHT: I just got off the phone with her. Young Midoriya’s asleep, with his phone turned off. He’s had it off most of the evening. She’ll keep an eye out for Young Todoroki just in case.


go the fuck to sleep: I’m out with Emi, you want me to come in?


Tea: Stay on standby, but no. Enjoy your time with your girlfriend Kayama.


Asss: Where’s the mido apartment? I’m out on patrol, I might be in the area


DAD MIGHT shared a location!


Asss: fuck nvm I’m nowhere near that


wake me up: Todoroki’s been found.


go the fuck to sleep: oh, thank god


DAD MIGHT: Where was he?


wake me up: Tokoyami found him on the rooftop. They apparently had a talk.


go the fuck to sleep: you’re kidding


Asss: all that fuss and he was still in the dorms


wake me up: I am well aware that I panicked.


go the fuck to sleep: panicked???


screm dad: Babe ily, but you flew into Mama Bear mode


Our Lord and Savior: You’re all on your way to me anyways, right?


wake me up: yes


wheelie sonic: wait wtf was bird kid doing on the roof??


KFC: Tokoyami’s just like that


go the fuck to sleep: ^^


wake me up: It’s not the strangest thing we’ve seen from him.


cowboy babey: I’ve seen him eat an apple.


cowboy babey: I’ve never been the same.


marshy mellow: f



Chapter Text


PM between deku uwu and peppermint boyo


deku uwu: i just woke up and saw everything from last night


deku uwu: are you okay??


peppermint boyo: yeah, I'm fine.


peppermint boyo: I just


deku uwu: take your time


deku uwu: I'm here for as long as you need Shoucchan


peppermint boyo: you saw what i typed in the main chat, right?


deku uwu: yea


peppermint boyo: it just slipped and i couldn't take take it back and i started to type and i couldn't stop but i needed to stop because they can't know and i was panicking and i didn't know what else to do but leave it and try to clear my head


deku uwu: i'm sorry i wasn't there to help


peppermint boyo: it's fine i can't ask you to hold my hand forever


deku uwu: i help because i want to, Shoucchan


deku uwu: never forget that


peppermint boyo: i'm sorry


deku uwu: you've done nothing to apologize for


deku uwu: i can come back early if you need me to


deku uwu: mom will understand


 peppermint boyo: no it's fine


peppermint boyo: you haven't seen her in a while since it's been so busy


peppermint boyo: I'd feel worse if you had to cut your time short with her because of me


deku uwu: if you're sure Shoucchan


peppermint boyo: i am


deku uwu: i'm gonna give you the biggest hug when i see you on Monday though


peppermint boyo: can't wait


peppermint boyo: i have to go, Iida's at my door


deku uwu: bye!! :D


peppermint boyo: bye Midoriya.




PM between lezbiam and peppermint boyo


peppermint boyo: hey momo


lezbiam: Shouto!


lezbiam: Are you alright? Where are you?


lezbiam: Aizawa didn't tell us much, just that you'd been found and to leave you alone.


peppermint boyo: I'm okay, I guess


peppermint boyo: I talked to Midoriya, that improved my mood


peppermint boyo: I'm currently in my dorm. Aizawa said something about questioning me on what I said, but Recovery Girl told him to let me rest.


lezbiam: If you need anything, just @ me. 


peppermint boyo: actually


peppermint boyo: quick question


peppermint boyo: how'd you ask out Jirou?


lezbiam: Oh, you're finally doing something about your crush on Midoriya?


peppermint boyo: waesfdgfdefsdgacsvc


peppermint boyo: MOMO


lezbiam: I'm taking that as a yes.


lezbiam: And Kyouka was the one who asked me out, but I'm sure if you ask for help, you'll find plenty of people willing to assist!


peppermint boyo: one sec




Class A


deku uwu has been removed from the chat!




PM between lezbiam and peppermint boyo


lezbiam: Shouto!


peppermint boyo: you SAID to ask for help


peppermint boyo: i'm asking for help




nya binch: what the fuck


vroom: Todoroki asked me to do it. I'm a little confused as to why Todoroki wants Midoriya out of the chat too, but I've chosen to trust Todoroki.


Dwayne: @peppermint boyo glad you're okay but wtf dude???


nya binch: the hell did Midoriya do to get kicked out Todoroki??


peppermint boyo: he's too good for this world


maroon 5 wishes: okay, but so is Koda and he's still in the chat






pika p1ka binch: lol kiri just fucking zoomed out of the room


peppermint boyo: well yea, but I don't want to take Koda or Kirishima out on a date, do I?


alien queen: we'll come back to Kiribaku later, it'sTododeku hours babey!!


peppermint boyo: I have no idea what language you're speaking but it is not Japanese


lezbiam: Shouto! Focus!


vroom: Now a lot more things make sense!


vroom: Looking back at it, your behavior around Midoriya is


vroom: Well, it hasn't been too straight actually.


girl: you go Todo!!!!


nya binch: get some


vroom: Those are some of my closest friends, please don't put That imagery in my head.


nya binch: understandable.


peppermint boyo: how do I ask him though??




nya binch: o fuck off


Dwayne: Katsuki be NICE


wake me up: this is such a fucking mess


wake me up: Bakugo, maybe you should step away from the screen for a bit. Hang out with your boyfriend or something


Dwayne: etsrhhfjgvjh


alien queen: lol even Aizawa ships it


wake me up: someone needs to add Midoriya back into the chat. Create a separate one for Todoroki's love woes if you need to.




nya binch: somehow


nya binch: i get the feeling that wasn't his doing


friend: you know Todoroki, a lot of your problems would be solved if you just let Midoriya read this


friend: kero


girl: you dictacting your messages again babe?? 


friend: yes


lezbiam has deleted [35] messages!


lezbiam: No one deserves to have their exposed in such a manner. If you screenshotted the deleted conversation, please don't share it.


fantastic: I won't


wake me up: the teacher's chat won't leak


peppermint boyo: I'm going to ignore you two, but thank you Momo


lezbiam: No problem!


vroom has added deku uwu to the chat!


deku uwu: guys why did i get removed?? what even happened?


20 users have gone offline!


wake me up: you poor dumbass


wake me up has gone offline! 

Chapter Text


PM between wake me up and screm dad


wake me up: Hizashi i'm fucking crying


wake me up: my class and our one and only son are trying to get Midoriya and Todoroki together but they're so fucking horrible at this??


wake me up: children that is Not how romance Works 


screm dad: what are they saying??


wake me up has sent a picture!


wake me up has sent a picture!


wake me up has sent a picture!


screm dad: o my god


wake me up: yea


screm dad: that is some Nemuri level bullshit right there


wake me up: Midoriya is going to end up hating poor Todoroki at this rate


screm dad: is that even possible??


wake me up: idk


wake me up: the kids are sure trying their best though


screm dad: lol


screm dad: you've got to appreciate the dedication they have


wake me up: if they had this much dedication to their schoolwork, some of them probably wouldn't be failing


screm dad: love the probably there


wake me up: Hizashi


wake me up: i walked downstairs today and saw Kaminari putting fucking bread crumbs into his drink instead of kool aid mix


wake me up: he didn't even notice


screm dad: good god


wake me up: Hizashi some of these kids are dumbasses and that's just a fact we all need to accept




wake me up: Hizashi


 screm dad: yes my love?


wake me up: ew


screm dad: ow


wake me up: the kids are back on their bullshit


wake me up: I'm honestly thinking someone should intervene


screm dad: it's that bad?? 


wake me up: it's like they don't know Midoriya at all


wake me up: it's chaos


screm dad: wait


screm dad: they made a separate chat for this??


wake me up: yea


wake me up: you want me to add you?


screm dad: please




 Operation Candy Cane Christmas Tree


wake me up has added screm dad to the chat!


 fantastic: I forgot we had Aizawa in here


jack off: hey mic-sensei


nya binch: dad, you here to help us?


peppermint boyo: wait


nya binch: don't even fucking look at me Todoroki


peppermint boyo: understandable


screm dad: Shouta sent me some of your ideas for how to ask out Midoriya


✦~ shiny boi ~✦: oui?


fantastic: did you like them??


screm dad: no, and quite frankly, I don't think Midoriya would either


screm dad: you want him to say yes right?


pika p1ka binch: oof


screm dad: but it's okay, I can help!!


screm dad: I mean, I'm married with two children, and we've been together for,,,


wake me up: it's been roughly 13 years now


fantastic: aww


girl: that's so sweet


alien queen: i can't believe Yuuei's cutest couple has been these two all along


wake me up: i am a grown man


wake me up: i am not cute or sweet


screm dad: sounds fake but okay


wake me up: Zashi


girl: @nya binch are they always like this??


nya binch: yea


friend: ocha thinks that's cute


maroon 5 wishes: Koda does too


Dwayne: not to be that person but like


Dwayne: relationship goals


Staples™: (Bakugou's red again)


pika p1ka binch: lmao i can hear the explosions from here


peppermint boyo: speaking of relationships


peppermint boyo: can we get back on topic?


screm dad: right, right


screm dad: when are you asking him?


peppermint boyo: Monday morning?


lezbiam: Lovely, we have some time to plan!


friend: are you going to get him a gift Todoroki?


peppermint boyo:


peppermint boyo: I'm sorry


peppermint boyo: what??


alien queen: omg


peppermint boyo: why would you add another layer of anxiety to this???


✦~ shiny boi ~✦: it doesn't have to be something big, monsieur


✦~ shiny boi ~✦: just pretty


maroon 5 wishes: or edible


girl: ^^


screm dad: you don't have to get him a present Todoroki, it's just a nice extra little thing to do


peppermint boyo: no, now that you've mentioned it, I have to get him something


lezbiam: Like you don't plan on spoiling him when you two make it official.


jack off: momo ily but you've got no room to talk


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: just get him a damn flower half and half and call it a day


Staples™: flowers are so cliche though




screm dad: that's actually not a bad idea Bakugo


screm dad: it's cute, it's cheap, it's simple


#1 hot topic stan: and if this whole thing goes south, it can be thrown away dramatically without killing the environment


friend: Tokoyami, no


girl: don't say that, you'll jinx it!!


peppermint boyo: where the fuck am i going to get a flower? i don't have a pass for today






jack off:


✦~ shiny boi ~✦: 


nya binch:




wake me up:


maroon 5 wishes:


pika p1ka binch: 






screm dad: hmmm


lezbiam: Ahem,


lezbiam: Kendo from Class 1-B was just telling me about Shiozaki Ibara, the girl with the vines for hair.


pika p1ka binch: yea


pika p1ka binch: i remember her


wake me up: we would hope so


pika p1ka binch: oof ow


lezbiam: Anyways, apparently Shiozaki grows roses in her spare time.


lezbiam: Kendo said she had an excess, and that she was looking for good homes for them to go to.


lezbiam: I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping you out Shouto, especially if you told her about why you need a rose on such short notice.


peppermint boyo has changed lezbiam's name to momo christ!


momo christ: Oh, stop it!


jack off: don't, she's cute when she blushes


momo christ: Kyouka!


pika p1ka binch: lol gay


jack off: and??




Mighty Fam


deku uwu: mom, all might, I have news!!!


DAD MIGHT: That is a lot of exclamation marks, this must be important, my boy.


midomommy: what is it Izuku? 


deku uwu: I'm gonna ask out Shoucchan on Monday!!


midomommy: that's wonderful!!


midomommy: he's such a lovely boy


DAD MIGHT: that's good news young Midoriya!


DAD MIGHT: I'm sure he'll say yes


midomommy: he'll be lucky to be with you Izuku


deku uwu: thanks mom, thanks dad, I've gotta go now


deku uwu: bye!!


midomommy: bye sweetheart!


deku uwu is now offline!


DAD MIGHT: do you think he meant to do that??


midomommy: what, call you his dad?




midomommy: no, but he's seen you as a father figure basically forever


midomommy: and even before Hisashi left, you were the one he looked up to like that


midomommy: and besides, parenthood is a lot more than paying the court mandated payments Toshinori, and Hisashi never wanted that.


midomommy: you've been more of a father to Izuku in just one year than his bio father has been in sixteen


midomommy: it was going to slip eventually


midomommy: I'm just glad i was here to screenshot it! :D


DAD MIGHT: thank you Inko




DAD MIGHT: that means a lot


midomommy: it's no problem Toshinori!


midomommy: :D



Chapter Text


Operation Candy Cane Christmas Tree


momo christ: Alright, Shouto


momo christ: Ready?


peppermint boyo: as many of you would say it


peppermint boyo: let’s get this bread


nya binch: i hope you know that Denki nearly cracked his skull, he was laughing so hard


nya binch: you could have killed him you rat bastard


Staples™: you’re laughing too, stop being so salty Shinsou


jack off: busted


peppermint boyo: @pika p1ka binch my bad


wake me up: Todoroki, do us all a favor and never say the bread thing again


Staples™: wait what why


wake me up: because the mere thought of him saying that with his usual Todoroki self nearly killed the entire staffroom


alien queen: @peppermint boyo i didn’t study for Ecto’s test, can you dab like real quick?


wake me up: I’m telling Ectoplasm


alien queen: !!!!


alien queen: that’s cold!!!


wake me up: welcome to the real world kid


alien queen: refund please???


screm dad: that machine’s broken


alien queen: damnit


girl: are we all ready for deku, cause like


girl: he’s REALLY determined to get to class


girl: like his normal self times like ten


friend: we’re not going to be able to stall him much longer, kero


friend: nevermind, forget that


vroom: Midoriya’s on his way!


girl: y’all better be ready!!!


peppermint boyo: I am




screm dad: alright the staffroom needs updates


screm dad: what’s going on


momo christ: We haven’t seen Midoriya yet.


jack off: Todoroki’s in position though


fantastic: he looks so lonely out in the hallway


Dwayne: the class b kids are giving him some Looks


alien queen: probs wondering who the rose is for


momo christ: No, they probably have a very good idea about who it’s for.


momo christ: Kendo and Shiozaki were very surprised to learn Shouto and Midoriya weren’t already dating.


Staples™: if Kazoo Kid interrupts this, I’m going to scream


Dwayne: Nah, Testu’s got it covered


wake me up: that sounds slightly ominous, is Monoma okay?


Dwayne: oh yea he is


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: like shitty hair would fucking hire a hitman


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: doesn’t have the fucking guts


Dwayne: thanks Bakubro


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: that wasn’t a compliment


Dwayne: like I care


pika p1ka binch: gaaaaaaaaaaaaay


jack off: who isn’t?


Staples™: true




pika p1ka binch: damn


Dwayne: that was gay


fantastic: I’m crying??? that was so adorable and sweet??


screm dad: what’s going on?? did it work?? did Midoriya say yes??


vroom: Well


vroom: We were all right to assume Midoriya returned Todoroki’s feelings.


friend: that sure is one way to put it Iida


screm dad: ???


wake me up: hang on, I caught it on tape


Staples™: heh tape


wake me up has shared a video!




Todoroki is in the middle of the hall, rose hidden. His back is straight, even if he isn’t. He’s tense, nerves are clearly starting to get to him. Classes A and B watch intently from their classrooms.


Shoes squeak suddenly, and Midoriya runs into frame. He runs up to Todoroki and grabs him in a tight hug. Todoroki is surprised™. Then Midoriya lets him go, and he speaks.


Mido, rushed and breathless: I’m sorry if you don’t return my feelings but I actually really, really like you!!! You don’t have to return my feelings, and I’m so sorry if this makes things awkward, or if you hate me now, or if I’ve made you uncomfortable. Please, just stay my friend, Shoucchan.


Todoroki is Shook. He’s blinking, mouth open, clearly trying to process this. (It’s taking a while.) The boi is frozen. (Not literally, ofc)


Mido, slower, kinda heartbroken: Right then. I’m sorry, uh, for bothering you right before class, and, um...sorry. Right. Um...we’re going to be late, we’d better get going.


He bows and backs away. His eyes are wet, head low. He looks sad.


Todoroki comes to his senses, perfect fucking timing. He lunges for Midoriya and grabs him by the wrist.


Todo: no, no, no... I’m just a little (coughs), surprised? do I explain...


Mido, voice thick and definitely still crying: Shoucchan?


Todo: Um, this actually was for you. (brings out the rose)


Mido’s face shifts from sad to confused to shock. He and Todoroki lock eyes.


Todo: I was going to confess to you. I wasn’t expecting you to beat me to it.


Todoroki holds the rose out, offering it to Midoriya. Midoriya accepts it.


Mido: this is real?


Todo: I wouldn’t lie.


Mido sniffles as he shuffles forward, and he hugs Todoroki again. The video doesn’t pick up what is said next, but Todoroki has a dorky little smile as he buries his face into Midoriya’s hair.


A beat passes as the Total Dad filming gives them their moment.






Aizawa, from behind the camera: Alright you two, this is heartwarming and all, but you’re causing a distraction. Get to class.


Both boys jump. Todoroki nearly lights something on fire, and Midoriya greatly resembles a deer in headlights.


Mido: Aizawa-sensei! Is-is that a camera???


Aizawa: No. (you know, like a liar) Get to class.


Aizawa: Why are you two still out here? Get to class.


Mido: Right!


The new couple walks swiftly and quite awkwardly to their classroom. Aizawa waits until they’re both out of range.


Aizawa, sounding exactly like he looks like for once: We’re stuck in a fucking shoujo.


The video ends.




screm dad: omg


screm dad: you know who needs to see this??


wake me up: teachers chat?


screm dad: teachers chat.


screm dad: gimme one sec




*todoroki voice* let’s get this bread – PL


screm dad has shared a video!


go the fuck to sleep: HAH


go the fuck to sleep: so many of you bitches owe me money now


reverse vore man: damnit I was hoping you’d forgotten


cowboy babey: ^^


Gucci Wishes: Oh, congratulations to the two of them.


Our Lord and Savior: ^


marshy mellow: ^


KFC: while this warms my gay little heart


KFC: two high schoolers have more game than I do


KFC: and that saddens me


wheelie sonic: same


wheelie sonic: all I want is a pretty guy


wheelie sonic: and like, maybe a few dogs


marshy mellow: what kind of dogs?


wheelie sonic: idk, maybe some golden retrievers


wheelie sonic: and one little pomeranian for laughs


go the fuck to sleep: we can give you Bakugou, it’s basically the same thing


not a furry fuk u: ewfdgjfklmwae


wheelie sonic: i’m okay


marshy mellow: lol


Tea: Kayama, please don’t give away the students.


Tea: That’s just a lawsuit waiting to happen.


marshy mellow: efjsl.ghnmjhFEGzrcmg


screm dad: oMG NEDZU


cowboy babey: yikes


I AM MACHINE: jinkies


Alchemist: get out of here with your scooby doo bullshit


KFC: excuse???


KFC: scooby doo is fucking iconic, you bastard


wheelie sonic: scooby doo is eternal

Chapter Text


deku uwu: this weekend we need to watch as many Ghibli films as possible


girl: next weekend we’re binging Disney


Staples™: i have no objections to this but why?


deku uwu: Shoucchan hasn’t seen any of them!!!




jack off:


#1 hot topic stan:


maroon 5 wishes:


pika p1ka binch:


alien queen:




Spiderman but it’s just Tail:




not your hentai:


~ shiny boi ~: excusez-moi bitch??


nya binch: okay life pre-dad-and-pops was shit but even then, I’d still seen one or two of Ghibli’s before I went to them


nya binch: how the fuck have you not even seen one in fifteen years of life


peppermint boyo: I probably saw a few when I was really small and just don’t remember, but we haven’t really watched movies in that house since mom was put in the hospital


peppermint boyo: my father doesn’t like us watching a lot of tv


peppermint boyo: if we have time to sit around and look at a screen, we have time to do something productive


peppermint boyo: we probably only have a tv in the house because of the news


vroom: That really does not sound like a good mindset to have.


Dwayne: yea dude, that really can’t be healthy


peppermint boyo: yeah i know, but try telling him that


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL:  all i’m hearing is that we have yet another reason to endeavor in the face


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL used naughty language! Grr!!




BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL has edited [1] message!


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: all i’m hearing is that we have yet another reason to punch the flaming trashrag bag of dicks in the face


vroom: Why is your first reaction always violence Bakugo?!




wake me up: Bakugo i hope you know that all of this is getting shared with the teacher’s chat


wake me up: they aren’t saying anything negative


wake me up: in fact, they’re cheering you on


Dwayne: Katsuki’s really red


nya binch: lol




alien queen: yea stop exposing bakubro


Spiderman but it’s just Tail: I’m hearing explosions??


jack off: @alien queen you just live to spread chaos, don’t you?


alien queen: it’s what i was born to do




end the vore hate club – Ecto


wake me up: all 19 of my homeroom kids would jump at the chance to punch enji in the face and i think that’s great


go the fuck to sleep: the real reason Shouta hasn’t expelled any kids yet


Asss: that IS great, what are you talking about old man


Alchemist: good for them, seeing the truth


I AM MACHINE: you think you’re so clever with your references, don’t you?


Alchemist: a little, yes


cowboy babey: hey Powerloader, always great to see you aren’t dead


I AM MACHINE: hi snipe


go the fuck to sleep: how’s Hatsume?


I AM MACHINE: right as you said that, i heard a bunch of loud crashing from her workstation


I AM MACHINE: i hope you know you’re dead to me, Kayama


go the fuck to sleep: lol, I’m always dead to someone


go the fuck to sleep: those words hold nothing over me anymore


KFC: wait


KFC: @wake me up you just said you had nineteen in your homeroom class, did something happen to one of them??


wake me up: bold of you to assume the Grape Fucker isn’t dead to me


screm dad: if he isn’t in the class chat, is he really a part of the class?


go the fuck to sleep: going by that logic, wouldn’t Hito be a class a kid


wheelie sonic: it’s what he deserves


not a furry fuk u: when eraser and mic’s kid moves up to the hero course, he’s going straight into class a


not a furry fuk u: I’ve heard of his little adventures and i do not need the paperwork that comes along with that


Asss: lol no one even questions that this rat kid’s getting expelled eventually


go the fuck to sleep: that’s because he’s nasty, Karen


Asss: I’m well-fucking-aware of that Sharon, considering he was my fucking intern for a whole week


Asss: worst week of my fucking life


Asss: it was like having one of those creepy internet perv trolls stalking me all week


go the fuck to sleep: be thankful you don’t have to deal with his shit every single goddamn day


Alchemist: If I have to hear one more comment about Kayama’s breasts, I’m going to scream


screm dad: i should probably be offended that you’re stealing my thing, but honestly same


reverse vore man: “how big do you think aizawa’s rack would be??” – the sentence that had me regretting so many decisions


DAD MIGHT: Well, a part of me just died inside.


wake me up: @Tea can we just say fuck it and expel him without the board???


cowboy babey: honestly that just reads as transphobic to me


marshy mellow: ^^


Tea: I wish we could.


Gucci Wishes: Can’t you all report this to the board? Surely with all of this, they would have to take action then?


Tea: We’ve been doing that Jeanist, and we bring it to the board every time we have to add another entry to the list. It’s like pulling teeth with them. Except without the blood.


wheelie sonic: Nedzu, all due respect sir, never become a dentist


marshy mellow: ^ you’ll scare the children sir


Tea: Oh dear, we can’t have that.


Alchemist: did anyone else read that as sarcasm?


marshy mellow: oh thank god I’m not alone


Tea: :D

Chapter Text


deku uwu: hey guys, I’ve been noticing my binders going missing, is anyone else missing anything or is it just me??


~ shiny boi ~Oui, some of my clothing disappears when I wash it, or otherwise just vanishes from my closet


~ shiny boi ~I know @momo christ has been having similar problems, since she’s borrowed clothing from moi before, but it isn’t like her to take without asking.


momo christ: Yes, I have noticed several of my things seemingly vanish into thin air, but I always ask Aoyama before I borrow something, and I certainly don’t take what I need from Aoyama's laundry. I don’t keep anything either.


vroom: A part of me is relieved I’m not the only one, but I’m more concerned that this is a common occurrence.


nya binch: @wake me up


wake me up: alright @everyone, if you’re missing some of your clothes, email me what you’re missing so we can make a list. if anyone needs something urgently, we’ll take care of that immediately. if it can be borrowed from somebody else or isn’t absolutely necessary, we can set aside passes this weekend for you to go out and get it.


momo christ: I understand that money might be an issue here. I’d be happy to make what I can, and to pay for whatever we have to buy when we go out!


deku uwu: thank you so much Yaoyorozu


girl: ^^^


girl: you’re a lifesaver Yaomomo!!!


alien queen: a saint


vroom: Try to be as accurate as you can with your lists everyone! We must be efficient, and we shouldn’t waste Mr. Aizawa’s time!


wake me up: yeah what he said




Yuuei Staff Machine Broke – RG


not a furry fuk u: I checked with my kids and a few of our girls are missing some items and TTTT’s missing a sports bra


not a furry fuk u: it’s nothing on the scale of Eraser’s class though


go the fuck to sleep: that’s probably because this whole thing was probably a certain class A nasty


screm dad: o yea definitely


marshy mellow: I’d be surprised if it wasn’t


DAD MIGHT: Everyone, please forgive me.


screm dad: what for?


go the fuck to sleep: that’s awfully cryptic Yagi


wake me up: ???


not a furry fuk u: america explain??


wheelie sonic: that meme’s dead blood king


DAD MIGHT added midomommy to the chat!  

Six users are now offline!


go the fuck to sleep: cowards


not a furry fuk u: you know that cryptic shit from earlier makes a lot more sense now


screm dad: hush both of you


go the fuck to sleep: Hizashi


screm dad: shh


go the fuck to sleep: HIZASHI


screm dad: SHHH


wake me up: @midomommy I take it you’re Midoriya Izuku’s mother?


midomommy: Yes.


Tea: Hello, Mrs. Midoriya. This is Principal Nedzu. What brings you to our group chat?


midomommy: I was going to demand to know why the Mineta boy hadn’t been expelled already, but scrolling through the chat and reading everything you’ve all had to say about him makes me think that I’d much rather speak directly to the board about this.


midomommy: and it’s Ms. Midoriya, not Mrs.


Tea: I would be more than happy to arrange that meeting Ms. Midoriya


go the fuck to sleep: i would be more than happy to sit in on that meeting


cowboy babey: wouldn’t we all?


wheelie sonic: as someone whose little brother has potentially been hurt by this kid, i REALLY want to sit in on this meeting


wheelie sonic: @Tea can i do that? cause I’m doing it


Tea: I see no reason you couldn’t.


Tea: In fact, let’s invite the families of all of our hero course students.


Tea: Most of the trouble has been contained in those classes, I believe.


midomommy: I’m fine with that.


midomommy: we all deserve answers as to why a child like this Mineta boy stayed in the hero course with behavior like his


midomommy: oh, and I have to get going, my break is nearly over


midomommy: thank you for talking with me and for agreeing to set up a meeting


Tea: It is absolutely no trouble at all Ms. Midoriya.


midomommy: well I’m still grateful regardless


midomommy: have a nice night everyone!


midomommy is now offline!


go the fuck to sleep: hey Yagi, when are you going to make her a Mrs.?


DAD MIGHT: qefwagrshtdyjfukgilkjtdyrhstegafweq


wheelie sonic: great, look at what you’ve done Nem


wheelie sonic: you fucking killed poor All Might


screm dad: All Might found dead in Miami


not a furry fuk u: press f


marshy mellow: f


wake me up:


wake me up: f


cowboy babey: okay but we’re keeping her in the chat, right?


screm dad: absolutely


screm dad: she’s the most wholesome thing here


marshy mellow: excuse??


Alchemist: You are not wholesome, do not even pretend


marshy mellow: rude


Chapter Text


deku uwu: thank you so much Yaoyorozu for doing this!


girl: ^^


girl: thank you, thank you, thank you


girl: bras are expensive and i only had one left


alien queen: i honestly thought my parents were going to kill me when i told them about my stuff going missing. thanks for saving my life Yaomomo!!!!


momo christ: It’s no problem, really! My parents and I completely understand! Besides if I have the money to help out where I can, why shouldn’t I?


~ shiny boi ~You truly are a blessing, mon cherie. Merci!


jack off: lol, laying it on a bit thick there, huh Aoyama?




Staples™: MIDODSFJDXNKGM.EJNMhufejnkmd,


Staples™: MIDORIYA




jack off: what the fuck


deku uwu: is this a prank??


deku uwu: this isn’t funny Sero, you’re making me really uncomfortable


peppermint boyo: prepare for sports festival 2.0, bitch


vroom: Sero, I have no idea where this behavior is coming from, but please stop this!




Staples™: fucking ******


Staples™ used naughty language! Grr!!


alien queen: OK BITCH






not your hentai: this isn’t Sero!


not your hentai: The Grape took his phone while it was charging


not your hentai: we’ve been looking for it all morning


maroon 5 wishes: i can vouch for that!


vroom: You don’t have to Sato, that makes much more sense!


lezbiam kicked Staples™ from the chat!


Staples™ has been banned!


lezbiam: I’ll add Sero back once the situation is resolved. For now, please keep your phones away from the Grape.


pika p1ka binch: Sero says he’s sorry about this, guys


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: he’d fucking better be


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: how’d Soy Sauce’s phone get taken anyways???


maroon 5 wishes: he was charging it downstairs and left to go to the bathroom. I was down there too, but I left to get something from my room. When I came back down, it was gone


peppermint boyo: has someone gotten Aizawa yet?


maroon 5 wishes:


not your hentai:


pika p1ka binch:


nya binch:


not your hentai: why didn’t we think of that sooner??


nya binch: @wake me up


nya binch: go to the class A dorms, it’s the Grape


wake me up: omw, leave the situation to me


friend: @deku uwu @vroom are the two of you okay?


vroom: I’ll admit


vroom: I was upset at what was said, but knowing now that it wasn’t Sero, I feel a bit better.


vroom: I think.


girl: brb, gonna give Iida a hug


vroom: I’d actually really like that, Uraraka.


friend: @deku uwu are you okay?


friend: you haven’t answered my question, Midoriya. it’s worrying me.


deku uwu: I’m fine


~ shiny boi ~: It’s rude to lie to people who care about you, Midoriya.


deku uwu: okay, maybe I’m not really fine but like


deku uwu: I’ve got Shoucchan talking to me in DMs and it wasn’t even really Sero saying it?? It was the Grape, and like, everyone knew he was horrible already?? It shouldn’t even be a big shock??


Dwayne: dude, all of that’s true, but it still hurts to hear that kind of shit


Dwayne: it’s okay to be affected by it


Dwayne: doesn’t make you any less manly, bro


girl: rt


friend: rt


momo christ: rt


nya binch: rt


pika p1ka binch: rt


pika p1ka binch: (Sero says rt)


alien queen: rt




✿ snow white rt


not your hentai: rt


#1 hot topic stan: rt


fantastic: rt


Spiderman but it’s just tail: rt


peppermint boyo: rt


Dwayne: he’s crying in the middle of the sports bras, what do I do???


jack off: at least something’s back to normal


nya binch: ^


peppermint boyo: just give him a hug Kirishima


peppermint boyo: he likes head pats


girl: can confirm


friend: it’s true, kero


nya binch: give him a pat for me, will you


Dwayne: will do


vroom: I know your previous words weren’t meant for me, Kirishima, but they still helped me regardless. Thank you for that.


~ shiny boi ~: ^^


Dwayne: damnit y’all, now I’m crying in the middle of the sports bras


Dwayne: lmao, Tetsutetsu just walked into the sports bra aisle, nodded, and then joined our hug without hesitation


nya binch: lol, gotta love class b Kirishima


pika p1ka binch: does that make Kiri class a Tetsutetsu


nya binch: yes


Dwayne: Blood King saw the three of us and just backed out slowly




nya binch: dare you to say that to his face when they all get back






“responsible adults” my ass - BK


not a furry fuk u: hey Eraser why the fuck did Bakugou walk up to me and call me a coward???


go the fuck to sleep: fdgfaefsgdf n i c e


wake me up: bold of you to assume I have any idea why Bakugou does anything 


Chapter Text



pika p1ka binch: right, so now that that's over


pika p1ka binch: @momo christ I wanna see my little boy


alien queen:i wanna see my little boi


jack off: here he comes


momo christ has added Staples™ to the chat!


alien queen: the boi is here!!


pika p1ka binch: yee!!!


Staples™: It is me


Staples™: I am the boi


Dwayne: SERO!!


Dwayne: MY BRO




Staples™: ersgjlkh SE-BRO




pika p1ka binch: ^^^


girl: look at that


girl: the Bakusquad, being wholesome for once


pika p1ka binch: hit or miss


Staples™: i guess they never miss


pika p1ka binch: huh


alien queen: you got a boyfriend


alien queen: bet he doesn’t kiss ya


pika p1ka binch: *mwah*


Staples™: he gon find another girl


pika p1ka binch: and then he won’t miss ya!!


jack off: back on the bullshit already guys?


girl: i seem to have misspelled “totally fucking cursed yet again” in my previous message, sorry for the miscommunication everyone


nya binch: i see why pops just totally lost it


pika p1ka binch: you’re joking???


nya binch: nope


nya binch: he’s lying on the floor


nya binch: Eri’s sitting on top of him


girl: awww


nya binch: she’s trying to braid his hair


girl: awwwww!!!!


nya binch: she’s not very good at it yet


momo christ: At least she’s trying!


jack off: send us pics of post hit or miss Aizawa, you bastard


nya binch has shared a picture!


nya binch has shared a picture!


alien queen: ewfhdnkj Eri is so freaking cute


fantastic: gasp


fantastic: I have an idea!! since the Grape’s gone now, we should have a party to celebrate!!!!


fantastic: (also @nya binchyour little sister is SO cute!!!)


momo christ: We probably shouldn’t have a party, as tonight’s a school night...


alien queen: o shit, Yaomomo you’re right


vroom: Yaoyorozu is right, a party like the one I’m sure you have in mind Hagakure isn’t the best idea, especially for such a demanding course like Heroics.


nya binch:


momo christ: And Shinsou needs rest for his classes as well. All Yuuei courses are challenging and require max effort!


nya binch: uh huh


deku uwu: maybe we should have a movie marathon instead. we were planning one anyways, before the whole Grape thing happened. and besides, this’ll be our first chance to really spend time together as a whole class without the Grape making us all uncomfortable. it’d be a welcome break from training anyways, and it’s not too demanding but will still tire us out so we’ll get some sleep.


nya binch: goddamnit, he did it again


girl: @peppermint boyo come and collect your boy!!!


Spiderman but it’s just Tail: wait did he just do his mumbling thing over text??


vroom: Yes, it happens every now and again.


friend: don’t worry about it Ojiro


Spiderman but it’s just Tail: K then


vroom: @everyone


vroom: Since the Grape is gone, does anybody care to celebrate with a movie marathon tonight?


girl: yea!!!


friend: ^^


peppermint boyo: Izuku says he’ll come, so I guess we’ll both be there


Staples™: I’m down


Dwayne: wait what movies are we gonna be watching??


vroom: Probably Ghibli, as that was what we were originally planning.


Dwayne: YEA


Dwayne: I’m in and I’ll bring Bakubro!!




peppermint boyo: you’re excused


jack off: I’m hearing explosions??


Spiderman but it’s just tail: Damn, none of you miss an opportunity, do you?


alien queen: no


nya binch: he makes it so easy




vroom: @everyone


momo christ: We’re starting! If you aren’t down here yet, you’re welcome to come and join us anytime! Just please be quiet and courteous about it!


nya binch: hey guys my little sister’s joining us so maybe don’t


nya binch: like


nya binch: kill her innocence rn, you know???


pika p1ka binch: !!


pika p1ka binch: you’re joining us babe!!


nya binch: yea


vroom: We can wait for the two of you, if you’d like us to.


nya binch: yea, I’m gonna need someone to let us in


deku uwu: which one should we start with??


fantastic: Ponyo!!


pika p1ka binch: ^^^^


friend: I will fight anyone who doesn’t want to watch Ponyo


girl: oh but what about spirited away???


deku uwu: oh that’s a good one!!


momo christ: How about we watch Ponyo and then Spirited Away?


Staples™: that works


momo christ: Alright, so Ponyo, Spirited Away...


vroom: We should probably only watch three. That’s a lot of movie to watch and we don’t want to be tired in class.


nya binch: yea Aizawa will kick your asses


nya binch: also we’re outside


pika p1ka binch: I’ll let you inside babe


nya binch: thanks sunshine


alien queen: gay


nya binch: that’s the point


maroon 5 wishes: Hey why don’t we let Shinsou’s little sister decide the third movie we watch?


friend: oh good idea Sato


friend: thanks for all the snacks btw


deku uwu: ^^


alien queen: ^


#1 hot topic stan: ^^


fantastic: ^^


Dwayne: ^^


maroon 5 wishes: it’s nothing!!


momo christ: Regardless, thank you for the snacks Sato!


nya binch: Eri’s probably going to pick Kiki’s Delivery


nya binch: She loves the cat


girl: saaaaaaaaame


jack off: Momo ily, but like


jack off: the artist girl from Kiki’s Delivery could step on me


momo christ: Honestly?


momo christ: Same


vroom: So we’re watching Ponyo, then Spirited Away, and then ending with Kiki’s Delivery Service?




peppermint boyo:


peppermint boyo: shit


jack off: lol


deku uwu: you enjoying them??


peppermint boyo: yes


pika p1ka binch: lmao, he and Eri both look exactly the same


nya binch: they really do


alien queen: cuties


fantastic: (I’ve got pictures)


Dwayne: gasp


alien queen: share them bitch!!!


fantastic has shared a picture!


fantastic has shared a picture!


fantastic has shared a picture!


vroom: Alright, Spirited Away is in, please put your clothes back on Hagakure. And put your phones away, you heathens, and watch the movie.


fantastic: yea ok dad


nya binch: if you say so Dad




Staples™: hey does anyone know why teachers are crowding around the Grape’s room??


momo christ: Aizawa said that they were going to go through the Grape’s room, try and clear it out for the next student.


girl: hang on, so we already have our replacement???


momo christ: I have no idea.


momo christ: If Aizawa knows, he hasn’t told me.


vroom: He hasn’t told me either.


vroom: Now put down your phones and watch the movie already!


girl: alright, alright!!!




the evil has been deYEETed – sonic


wake me up: @Tea we found the Grape’s stash


wake me up: and with it most of the things reported missing


go the fuck to sleep: oh gross


marshy mellow: f


wake me up: I’m going to need so much bleach after this


Spiderman but lame: what’s going to happen to all of the shit he stole?


KFC: yea, I doubt anyone’s gonna want that back


Asss: tbh i wouldn’t want it either


wake me up: i actually have no idea


Tea: We’ll return everything we can to the rightful owners, but what they do with it is up to them.


not a furry fuk u: there’s so much of it, jesus christ


screm dad: IM BACK BITCHES




reverse vore man: not this shit again


Tea: Oh dear.


wheelie sonic: pour one out for 1-A


not a furry fuk u: i know y’all know where my stash is


cowboy babey: pouring one out as we speak


wake me up: Zashi we’ve talked about this


wake me up: why the fuck are you dictating again




wake me up: what mistake???






wake me up: you’re going to scare the children Zashi


go the fuck to sleep: why the fuck were you not wearing gloves, you dumbass


screm dad: @Our Lord and Savior CAN YOU JUST


screm dad: IDK CUT OFF MY HAND


Our Lord and Savior: No




marshy mellow: I’d say f


marshy mellow: but you did this to yourself




not a furry fuk u: that’s a bathroom??




not a furry fuk u: ???


Our Lord and Savior: Please, dear god, don’t drink the toilet water again


KFC: again




Tea: @wake me up I have an update on the Grape situation!


Tea: As of Wednesday, the Grape will not be a Yuuei student anymore.




marshy mellow: that’s a mood


go the fuck to sleep: fuck yea


not a furry fuk u: And the transfer??


Tea: Shinsou Hitoshi, he joins the class Friday.


wake me up: when can we tell him?


Tea: As soon as you’d like.


not a furry fuk u: lol he’s gone


cowboy babey: off to be a Dramatic Bitch I see


wake me up: hey


wake me up: It’s Dramatic Bitch™


Alchemist: @screm dad If you’re done drinking toilet water again, please collect your husband


KFC: again???


screm dad: I’m back and hearing screaming that isn’t me


wheelie sonic: (this time)


not a furry fuk u: jesus christ mic, that’s a lot of gloves


screm dad: i’m not taking any chances Kan


not a furry fuk u: that’s fair


go the fuck to sleep: screaming???


wake me up: that was Class 1-A


go the fuck to sleep: good screaming??


wake me up: they’re excited about Hito


go the fuck to sleep: aww


marshy mellow: that’s sweet


screm dad: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAdsfghhjkerdfhtfsgd


screm dad: njlkefrgtyfdbgf


screm dad: DSLKADFokfbdkado


not a furry fuk u: oh hey Eraser's back


go the fuck to sleep: lmao



Chapter Text


vroom: @nya binch Do you need any help moving in?


nya binch: nah i’m fine


nya binch: don’t have much stuff to bring anyways


pika p1ka binch: yea your room’s SUPER bare babe


nya binch: holdover from foster care


Dwayne: wait you were in the system??


nya binch: yea, what about it?


Dwayne: !!!


Dwayne: me too!!


pika p1ka binch: wait what


Staples™: you were???


Dwayne: Yea!!


Dwayne: why is this such a surprise, both of you have met my moms


Dwayne: they had to get me from somewhere


alien queen: i been knew


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: it’s fucking obvious you dumbasses


nya binch: oh you’ve got gay parents too


Dwayne: yea


Dwayne: basically grew up in an endless cycle of “ask your mom”


fantastic: f


Dwayne: thank you


nya binch: people always expect double the amount of dad jokes I get, but honestly dad tells enough dad jokes for him and pops


jack off: the very image of Aizawa telling dad jokes just fucking killed me and my crops


jack off: so


jack off: thanks


nya binch: wefghv dsfnb


pika p1ka binch: don’t!!!


pika p1ka binch: kill!!!


pika p1ka binch: my boyfriend!!!


jack off: it wasn’t a murder, it was at best manslaughter




vroom: I left the chat for five seconds


fantastic: sorry dad


vroom: Okay why?


vroom: Do you all randomly call me dad?


~ shiny boi ~maybe it’s because you dress like a suburban 40 year old father of three, monsieur (-、-) 


Dwayne: holy shit


fantastic: OMG AOYAMA


alien queen: DAMN




friend: he was NOT prepared for that, kero


girl shared a picture!



Staples™: that is the face of a broken man


wake me up: can confirm, that is a carbon copy of Tensei’s drinking face


deku uwu: are you meaning to tell me that Ingenium is a sad drunk??


wake me up has deleted [1] message!


wake me up: I’ve said too much.




stop stealing my pretzels damnit – 13


wake me up: @wheelie sonic you’ve been exposed


wheelie sonic: ??


wake me up: the class a kids now know you get angsty when you drink


go the fuck to sleep: lmao


DAD MIGHT: How did that come up in conversation??


screm dad: he’s on his allergy meds rn


Alchemist: It’s that time of year again, isn’t it?


screm dad: hell yea


Alchemist: Lovely


DAD MIGHT: I’m missing something here.


go the fuck to sleep: lol Yagi, Shouta’s fine, he’s just really sensitive to most medicines


cowboy babey: it’s hilarious


wheelie sonic: he goes from “the only thing you need to know about me is my name” to “vaguely bitchy oversharing shitpost” in the drop of a hat


marshy mellow: he once said the batman lines for us without protesting


Alchemist: We got that one on camera




DAD MIGHT: well thank god classes are over, right?


wake me up: FUCK


wake me up: TODOROKI


not a furry fuk u: we know Todoroki’s a little shit but that’s pretty harsh Eraser


wake me up: what the fuck, no


wake me up: i told him to meet me after classes to talk about some of the shit he’s said


wake me up: i forgot about it


go the fuck to sleep: o that’s why he’s hanging around the staffroom


cowboy babey: so are you rescheduling with him then??


wake me up: omw


cowboy babey: apparently not


KFC: oh jeez


KFC: this meeting’s going to be a dumpster fire, isn’t it?


screm dad: honestly


screm dad: probably




wake me up: brb


wake me up: dragging Enji’s ass straight to hell


wake me up has gone offline!




PM between peppermint boyo and deku uwu


peppermint boyo: so I just had a breakdown in front of our one and only homeroom teacher


peppermint boyo: he asked about home and uh


deku uwu: did you overshare??


peppermint boyo: oh yea definitely


deku uwu: are you coming back to the dorms??


peppermint boyo: yea


deku uwu: your room or mine?


deku uwu: i can totally carry you up the stairs if that’s an issue


peppermint boyo: I think I’m going to have to take you up on that offer Izuku


peppermint boyo: nothing against you or All Might, but


peppermint boyo: I don’t think I can handle your room rn


peppermint boyo: I’m sorry


deku uwu: it’s okay!!


deku uwu: your room it is!!! :D





PM between momo christ and peppermint boyo


peppermint boyo: momo


momo christ: I saw you come through the door


momo christ: You looked like terrible.


momo christ: Do you need anything??


peppermint boyo: Izuku offered to carry me up five flights of stairs momo


peppermint boyo: and then he DID it.


momo christ: Oh, that’s gay.


peppermint boyo: momo


peppermint boyo: i think we’re well past that


peppermint boyo: but I’m feeling kinda drained actually


momo christ: Oh?


peppermint boyo: i did the oversharing again


momo christ: Not a huge surprise, go on.


peppermint boyo: right in front of Aizawa


momo christ: Oh.


peppermint boyo: so now he knows


momo christ: And?


peppermint boyo: i had a breakdown, cause like


peppermint boyo: he Knows now


peppermint boyo: and there’s no way in hell Aizawa’s just going to sit back and do nothing


peppermint boyo: and i,,


peppermint boyo: I don’t know how to feel


momo christ: Explain for me, please?


momo christ: Assuming you're comfortable with that, of course!


peppermint boyo: well 


peppermint boyo: no one’s ever helped with him momo, not for me or mom or Natsuo and Fuyumi


peppermint boyo: nobody helped Touya


peppermint boyo: I want out of his house and away from him, but it just


peppermint boyo: it feels like I’m getting an easy out when Natsuo and Fuyumi had to work for it


peppermint boyo: It feels like I’m being weak


momo christ: Shouto, as healthy as it is for you to vent, I’m going to stop you there.


momo christ: An offer to help is absolutely not “an easy way out”.


momo christ: You’re still going to have to work to heal.


momo christ: But you don’t have to do all that work alone anymore. You have a support network now Shouto. Please, use it.


peppermint boyo: Momo, I don’t think I’ve ever told you


peppermint boyo: but you’re a good friend


momo christ: Don’t mention it.


momo christ: Now, go and focus on cuddling your boyfriend, you dummy.


peppermint boyo: yes ma’am


momo christ: Shut


peppermint boyo is offline!


momo christ: Wise decision Shouto.


Chapter Text

deku uwu has shared a video!


deku uwu: our'ye onang avhe adb imet*


nya binch: oD ti, owcdar


deku uwu: kwae


nya binch: icthb


#1 hot topic stan: Dark Shadow is insisting that this is a bop.


nya binch: lowkey agree


pika p1ka binch: he (they?) isn't wrong


#1 hot topic stan: (they)


pika p1ka binch: (oh good for them)


wake me up:


nya binch: sht


deku uwu: oh hey wrong chat


deku uwu: my bad


wake me up: 


pika p1ka binch: I can feel the disappointed dad stare through the screen


nya binch: hey pops


wake me up:


nya binch: pops


wake me up: 


deku uwu: i haven't had a dad in years and even i can feel the Dad Energy™


wake me up:


pika p1ka binch: it'd probably be a good idea to go to sleep rn, wouldn't it??


#1 hot topic stan: probably


pika p1ka binch: so none of us are going to sleep, are we?? 


#1 hot topic stan: probably


pika p1ka binch: mmm


wake me up: I'm standing right in front of the dorms. you have five minutes to either get offline, turn your device off, and stare at your ceiling until you fall the fuck asleep.


deku uwu: or???


wake me up: or you get a five minute head start.


deku uwu: BET


wake me up: starting now.


#1 hot topic stan: Midoriya


 nya binch: shit he's gonna die


deku uwu: I'm prepared for death


deku uwu: just tell Shoucchan and Mom that I love both of them


nya binch: so fucking dramatic, smh


#1 hot topic stan: I'll be sure to deliver your message Midoriya


deku uwu: thank you Tokoyami


deku uwu: at least you aren't a snake


nya binch: hisssssssss


pika p1ka binch: scalie


nya binch: edsfdghg babe


pika p1ka binch: <3


pika p1ka binch: night


nya binch: night you beautiful coward <3


pika p1ka binch is offline!


#1 hot topic stan: No one else is going to log off??


nya binch: nope


deku uwu: absolutely not


wake me up: your loss.


wake me up: three minutes.


deku uwu: just fight me rn


deku uwu: Mr. Aizawa sir


nya binch: lol


#1 hot topic stan: Where is this confidence during the daytime?


nya binch: he's too tired for anxiety and higher thought, apparently


#1 hot topic stan: I wanna say mood, I really wanna say mood


nya binch: mood


wake me up: fight you?


wake me up: I'm not going to fight anyone.


nya binch: top 10 anime plot twists


wake me up has added DAD MIGHT to the chat!


#1 hot topic stan: oh shit...




 wake me up: All Might, you deal with them.


wake me up is offline!


#1 hot topic stan: what a mad banquet of darkness.






DAD MIGHT: Aizawa!


nya binch: lol


DAD MIGHT: I can't tell if that is you young Shinsou or if that's Aizawa, and it scares me


nya binch: hah


deku uwu: they got gina


nya: :)


#1 hot topic stan: All Might, we're still awake


DAD MIGHT: right...


DAD MIGHT: Go to sleep


#1 hot topic stan: 


deku uwu: 


nya binch: that's your best??


DAD MIGHT: Please?


DAD MIGHT: Why are the three of you still up anyways??


deku uwu: o h b o i


#1 hot topic stan: All Might


#1 hot topic stan: do you really want to open that particular can of worms???


nya binch: lol worms


nya binch: it's funny


nya binch: cause you're a bird


#1 hot topic stan: yea i got that


DAD MIGHT: humor me


DAD MIGHT: why are you still awake??


nya binch: insomnia


deku uwu: existential dread


#1 hot topic stan: it's a bit of aesthetic and a bit of trauma


nya binch: god that's a mood


DAD MIGHT: by trauma, you mean everything that's happened this year, young Tokoyami?


#1 hot topic stan: yes, although it's mainly the training that keeps me awake


#1 hot topic stan: I just


#1 hot topic stan: that's probably the only time I've ever lost control of Dark Shadow in that kind of situation


#1 hot topic stan: I could've really harmed Mezo and Midoriya


#1 hot topic stan: if it wasn't for sheer luck and their quick thinking, would they even still be here?


#1 hot topic stan: it's a question that haunts me


#1 hot topic stan: I was able to cope with the USJ by sleeping with a weighted blanket, but since the training camp, it hasn't worked


#1 hot topic stan: brings back too many memories




DAD MIGHT: I truly see what you meant by can of worms


nya binch: lol


nya binch: so I guess if we're all talking about Shit now


nya binch: i can go next??


DAD MIGHT: I won't stop you


nya binch: you can't


DAD MIGHT: terrifying, proceed


nya binch: anyways, I guess I've always struggled a lil bit with sleep??


nya binch: but like


nya binch: shit, how do I explain???


nya binch: okay so it's like my room and how it's so bare


nya binch: it's basically another holdover from the system


nya binch: I was in a few bad homes and shit that I'd rather not talk about went down


nya binch: it just,,,wasn't good, like at all


nya binch: I just?? never felt safe sleeping?? especially in a new place, with so many new people I've never lived with before??


nya binch: I'll get used to it


nya binch: I got used to Dad and Pops


nya binch: but like


nya binch: I still don't get very much sleep??


nya binch: idk


nya binch: and I've been on medication before, in a few of the okay homes and when I first came to Dad and Pops


nya binch: but the downsides are way too, you know, bad to really justify meds and I honestly don't like the whole deal


nya binch: just makes me feel even more like a burdento be dropped when the novelty of it all ends


#1 hot topic stan: that was a poetic way to put it


nya binch: thanks


#1 hot topic stan: I can't really can't take most medications either, what with Dark Shadow.


deku uwu: really?


#1 hot topic stan: yes


#1 hot topic stan: most doctors are hesitant to prescribe things to me because of them. it's risky, but I can take some. It's hit or miss.


deku uwu: that's fascinating


#1 hot topic stan: I really don't know much more about the subject, but if you'd like to talk more on the subject I wouldn't mind.


deku uwu: really??


#1 hot topic stan: yes, that's why I offered.


deku uwu: right, thank you Tokoyami!!


DAD MIGHT: as heartwarming as this is, why are you still awake young Midoriya?


deku uwu: 


DAD MIGHT: Young Midoriya?


deku uwu: can I tell you somewhere else? as much as I love y'all, this


deku uwu: this is kinda personal, and while I trust you, I'd rather keep it private, cause I don't wanna air out all my dirty laundry right in the class chat??


deku uwu: if that makes any sense??


DAD MIGHT: No, it makes plenty of sense, my boy.


nya binch: o yea that's right


nya binch: eh, they all knew I was fucked up anyways


#1 hot topic stan: I wish I had that kind of confidence


DAD MIGHT: Alright, young Tokoyami and Shinsou (?), thank you for sharing such personal things with me tonight. I appreciate it. However, it's late and the two of you still need to get some rest. Even if it isn't sleep, it has to be better than staring at a screen until you have to get ready for classes.


DAD MIGHT: Goodnight boys


#1 hot topic stan: Goodnight Sensei.


nya binch: night all might



PM between deku uwu and DAD MIGHT


deku uwu: okay so


deku uwu: basically,


deku uwu: people have been telling me that i'm weak! and that i can't be a hero! and my dreams are unattainable and stupid! and that I should just give up! or, you know, just kill myself, pretty much ever since the Quirkless diagnosis. Even if they didn't outright say it, I'd always get this Look whenever I went out around my neighborhood as a kid, like I would either shatter right there on the sidewalk or like I was so far beneath a person that they couldn't even believe I was daring to breathe the same air as them


DAD MIGHT: Wait wait wait, you've been told to kill yourself?


deku uwu: that was a dumb middle school bully and it was only once


deku uwu: but anyways,


deku uwu: I've been internalizing that shit since forever, i guess, and most of the time I can keep it in the back of my head


deku uwu: but sometimes I can't


deku uwu: and usually those times are really late at night, when I can't sleep


deku uwu: so I usually try to tire myself out before I go to bed so I fall asleep quickly


deku uwu: but on days like today, I don't do anything that really exhausts me


deku uwu: so I'm still awake, because I was laying awake and staring at a ceiling and my mind wouldn't shut up and anxiety started hitting me and then the depresso followed and now I'm a mess at too late o'clock


deku uwu: *depression, sorry


DAD MIGHT: Alright, so a lot of things.


DAD MIGHT: First, how much does your mother know?


deku uwu: uh


DAD MIGHT: oh dear


deku uwu: not much


DAD MIGHT: She should probably know, young Midoriya


deku uwu: right...


DAD MIGHT: My boy, why don't you want to tell her?


deku uwu: it's not that I don't want to tell her, it's that


deku uwu: she already has so much on her plate and she worries so much as is and if she knew I couldn't even sleep properly she'd stress and besides, this is my issue so it's my responsibility to fix it


DAD MIGHT: well, why do you have to fix it on your own?


deku uwu: i


deku uwu: i don't know, sir


DAD MIGHT: this is far more hypocritical than you know, my boy, but you really should let her help. Avoiding help, trying to shoulder all the burden on your own, suffering quietly


DAD MIGHT: young Midoriya, there is so much wrong with that


DAD MIGHT: I'm learning this lesson far too late, and in quite a hard way, but it is far more heroic to take care of yourself and to ask for help when it's needed than it is to struggle alone


deku uwu: right


DAD MIGHT: would it help if I told her?


deku uwu:


deku uwu: a little bit, maybe


DAD MIGHT: Alright, so I can tell her, and then you and her can have a conversation about everything you've told me tonight and then we can all figure out how to help you and address some concerns I now have. Sound alright?


deku uwu: yes




DAD MIGHT: now, you really should try to get some sleep. Like I told young Shinsou and Tokoyami, staring at a screen for so long in the dark can't be good for you.


deku uwu: goodnight


DAD MIGHT: goodnight son




^ the video Midoriya shared, in case anyone's curious. It's a bop guys.

Chapter Text


class a


Dwayne: hey quick question


Dwayne: where’s @peppermint boyo


pika p1ka binch: yea he came in looking kinda sick last night and we haven’t seen him since


not your hentai: sick? todoroki looked more upset than sick to me


nya binch:


pika p1ka binch: moonshine?


nya binch: yes sunshine??


pika p1ka binch: you wouldn’t happen to know anything, would you??


fantastic: you know, we haven’t seen Aizawa yet today either...


nya binch: Don’t


nya binch: I don’t know anything, not really


alien queen: but you know something!!!


nya binch: why are you pestering me about it?? you do realize his boyfriend and his childhood bestie are also in the chat and probably know more than I do right???


fantastic: oh yea


alien queen: @momo christ @deku uwu


alien queen: yo is Todoroki okay???


peppermint boyo: hey binch


fantastic: eowrjgfkldh


pika p1ka binch: waersdtjgh


alien queen: ewejkf rgregst


nya binch: oh thank fuck


Dwayne: Hi man!! you okay??


peppermint boyo: oh me? I’m fine


momo christ: Hmm


deku uwu: he actually is fine, I promise


momo christ: Mmm


peppermint boyo: breaking news, my boyfriend is more trustworthy than I am when it comes to my own mental state, more at eleven


momo christ: Oh hush, you drama queen.


Staples™: who knew Todoroki was such a mood??


alien queen: okay but Yaomomo just single-handedly killed Todoroki


peppermint boyo: that’s true


fantastic: oernjtmt


alien queen: ANYWAYS


alien queen: why aren’t you here today Todoroki???


peppermint boyo: it’s complicated


momo christ has kicked peppermint boyo from the chat!


alien queen: MOMO


pika p1ka binch: she hecking YEETED that boi


fantastic: what the heck???


#1 hot topic stan: what a mad banquet of darkness.


fantastic: hush Tokoyami, we all know you’re secretly a meme


#1 hot topic stan: oof


nya binch: hah


momo christ: I’m sorry, I’ll add him back soon. It’s just that Todoroki is a serial overshare-r and this is really personal to him.


Staples™: wait really??


alien queen: tea??


deku uwu: I really don’t have a lot of information


momo christ: Neither do I.


deku uwu: and while I know Aizawa’s involved, and Shinsou’s Aizawa’s kid, there’s really no reason for him to really know anything.


nya binch: ^^


nya binch: stop trying to get information out of me that I don’t have


momo christ: Basically, all we really know is that Todoroki is off-campus at the moment for a family situation.


momo christ: Please don’t pry into the situation anymore.


jack off: that’s Momo for “fuck off it isn’t any of your business”


momo christ: Kyouka!!


girl: we can all hear you laughing Yaoyorozu


nya binch: exposed




Dwayne: Yo @everyone check the news


fantastic: oh no...


girl: @peppermint boyo Todo, are you okay??


girl: wait


pika p1ka binch: yoooooooooo


Staples™: what the fuck


Spiderman but it's just Tail: Is this real???


maroon 5 wishes: dear god


alien queen: @momo christ @deku uwu @wake me up is this why Todo wasn't here today???


Staples™: wait, how much did Yaomomo and Midoriya know


alien queen: ^^


fantastic: ^^


wake me up: @everyone alright, several things


wake me up: I can't say why Todoroki wasn't in class today. No one can give you information on the case, and certainly not at this time. Todoroki doesn't know much besides what's immediately pertinent to him, so refrain from pestering him for answers he doesn't have, or legally cannot give you.


Spiderman but it's just Tail: holy shit, this is real


not your hentai: already pretty clear that it was but go off i guess


wake me up: also


wake me up: Yaoyorozu (I see you lurking) and @vroom. Don't add Todoroki back into the chat for a bit, alright? For his own mental health, and for the general privacy of everyone involved. 


vroom: Alright!


momo christ: Midoriya and I can keep him updated in the meantime!


deku uwu: ^^


deku uwu: absolutely sensei!!


wake me up: great



PM between wake me up and alien queen


wake me up: Ashido. We’ve talked about prying into the lives of others.


alien queen: sorry sensei!!


wake me up: this is your second warning. one more chance before we sic Midnight on you.


alien queen: lol that’s not a very funny joke Mr. Aizawa


wake me up:


alien queen:


alien queen: ...that wasn’t a joke, was it??


wake me up: not really, no.


alien queen: I’LL TRY HARDER SIR!!


wake me up: you’d better. you’re very lucky you have the classmates you do, Ashido.


alien queen: i know


wake me up: you realize why we’re all getting on your case, right?


alien queen: uhhhhhhh


alien queen: i got nothing Sensei


wake me up: I know it seems otherwise, but this isn’t us teachers trying to punish your curiosity Ashido. If that was what we wanted, we’d have to punish the entire Heroics course.


wake me up: the issue we all have is more the way you go about satisfying that curiosity. this ruthless needling and the interrogating and the general lack of respect you sometimes show for your classmates’ privacy is what needs to stop. do you see what I mean there?


alien queen: ...yea


wake me up: good.


Chapter Text










"...POPULARITY PLUMMETING," As the Investigation into the Todoroki Family Continues...






THE TRUTH ABOUT THE SCARS: Analyzing the Todoroki Children


What’s the Stance? Check how your favorite heroes have taken the news of #1 hero’s alleged abuse – #12 will shock you!




What Does The Case Against Endeavor Mean For Japan’s Heroes?


Villain Activity Spiking after News of Todoroki Investigation Breaks: “Haven’t seen this since All Might’s retirement,” One Expert Says.




recent searches|


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Yuuei Official ✓


Hello all! We @ Yuuei are doing our best to cooperate with authorities in the #todorokiinvestigation! The privacy and health of the Todoroki family is important to us here, and as such, we cannot say anything about the investigation. That’s been the reason behind our silence!


Yuuei Official✓

Please, respect the Todorokis privacy in this difficult time! And remember, you CAN trust your local heroes! They are there to protect you and to help when it is needed. This investigation does not change that! Plus Ultra everyone!!



Chapter Text


you’re all fucking dead to me – shouta


nya binch has added peppermint boyo to the chat!


down to clown: oh shit, waddup


nya binch: it dat boi


peppermint boyo: what the actual fuck Shinsou


vroom: Oh dear god, you actually did it.


wheelie sonic: Hito, you brilliant bastard


peppermint boyo: wait Iida??


wheelie sonic: that’s me!


down to clown: Tensei, i think he meant Tenya


peppermint boyo: yea


vroom: Hello


down to clown: hey kid, you’re the ewirbegdjknf fugflnkm


wheelie sonic: emi?? emi???


nya binch: oh my fucking god


wheelie sonic: she fucking dead


peppermint boyo: so why am I here exactly???


wheelie sonic: well


wake me up is now online!


wake me up: God will not be able to save you from the consequences Tensei


wake me up is now offline!


down to clown: don’t like that


wheelie sonic: yet you ask him to marry you every time you fucking meet him in public


down to clown: Tensei, you know damn well how gay I am


down to clown: anyways


down to clown: welcome to hell, Zuko


peppermint boyo: thanks


nya binch: wait wait wait


nya binch: you recognize Avatar references, but before high school, you’d never seen any Ghibli/Disney movies??


peppermint boyo: it’s easier to sneak out late at night or early in the morning and catch bits of cartoon reruns than it is to sit down and watch entire two, three hour movies in one sitting in That house


nya binch: oh valid worm


peppermint boyo: also certain individuals got impatient and forced me into a marathon of the series


nya binch: worm


nya binch: Ashido’s gonna lose her shit


peppermint boyo: she’s gonna have to take that up with Momo, man


peppermint boyo: anyways what even is this chat and why the fuck am i here?


vroom: Yes Shinsou, why is Todoroki here?


nya binch: Dad and Auntie said i could, so i did


wheelie sonic: lmao, so that’s what we’re going with


peppermint boyo: ?


wheelie sonic: nothing :)


peppermint boyo: don’t like that


peppermint boyo: also


peppermint boyo: @vroom and @nya binch, could you two just call me Shouto?


peppermint boyo: because Reasons


nya binch: k


vroom: If that’s what you’d prefer to be called!


peppermint boyo: yea


vroom: Then I can absolutely do that! Though I must insist that you call me by my given name as well.


peppermint boyo: alright




class A


momo christ added peppermint boyo to the chat!


momo christ: Give him a minute before you spam. Shouto’s got something to say.


peppermint boyo: @everyone can you all stop calling me by my family name? give me a nickname or call me by my given name if you have to. just. anything else but Todoroki.


Dwayne: yea sure dude!!!


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: you’re still fucking icy hot, you fucking bastard


peppermint boyo: thanks bakubro.


momo christ: Shouto, you’ve been back for literally five seconds. Don’t get exploded just yet.


peppermint boyo: but mom


momo christ: No.


deku uwu: Shoucchan!!!


deku uwu: you’re back already!!


peppermint boyo: yea


girl: lol he fucking


friend: zoomed


girl: yes, thank you Tsu


friend: <3


girl: <3


pika p1ka binch: gay


girl: no u


friend: kero


jack off: damn


Staples™: that’s just how it be sometimes



fantastic: wait what are we going to call @peppermint boyo?


pika p1ka binch: maybe we can all just call him Shoucchan like Midoriya does???


peppermint boyo: no


deku uwu: no


nya binch: lol gay


momo christ: Shouto. Midoriya. We're all RIGHT here.


momo christ: Stop making out with each other to prove a point, and put your tongues back where they belong please.


peppermint boyo: but mom


nya binch: wait if Yaoyorozu’s your mother,


nya binch: does that mean Jirou’s your step mother


jack off: hey Shinsou, do you take constructive criticism?


nya binch: no


jack off: too bad


jack off: i hate it op


nya binch: oof


pika p1ka binch: step mom how can you be so mean


jack off: shut it


jack off: i’m too young and too gay for this kind of responsibility


girl: oh mood


alien queen: worm




i want a divorce – Eraser


screm dad: damnit he caught on


wake me up: Zashi


wake me up: Nemuri


wake me up: what the actual fuck???


Alchemist: goddamnit


cowboy babey: what did the two of you do now??


go the fuck to sleep: i did nothing wrong and I’m not ashamed of the results


wake me up has changed go the fuck to sleep’s name to shameless but not blameless


marshy mellow: “i did nothing wrong” Doubt


shameless but not blameless: RUDE


marshy mellow: >:/


 DAD MIGHT: wait what exactly happened?


wheelie sonic: lmao, Nem and Hizashi gave the purple son permisson to add the Candy Cane to the family chat and nearly ruined the surprise




wake me up: while he's not in End**vor's custody anymore, the paperwork’s going to take a week to go through.


wake me up: until then, he’s just a ward of the school.


wake me up: we can’t take him home until the paperwork’s finalized, so there’s little point in telling him.


Our Lord and Savior has changed the chat name to Erasermic Stop Adopting Challenge 2019!


wake me up: Chiyo, you’ve fucking betrayed me.


screm dad: this is homophobia


wheelie sonic: reverse uno card


shameless but not blameless: Tensei, babe did you seriously just type that out


wheelie sonic: ye


shameless but not blameless: the effort of that honestly pisses me off


midomommy: Oh, that’s so sweet how you want to keep it a surprise for him!


screm dad: thank you ma'am


midomommy: :D


screm dad: BD


Gucci Wishes: What the actual fuck is that monstrosity Mic??


screm dad: what?


screm dad: this?


screm dad: BD


Gucci Wishes: That.


screm dad: it’s a smiley


Gucci Wishes: It’s ugly, that’s what it is.


screm dad: that’s rich, coming from a guy whose whole public image is TRIPLE DENIM


shameless but not blameless: gasp


reverse vore man: oh shit


marshy mellow: honestly I’ve always thought that Aizawa would be the husband to fight Jeanist but this works


Gucci Wishes: I didn’t want to have to do this, but you’ve left me no choice.


Gucci Wishes: The way you style your hair makes you look like a cockatiel.


shameless but not blameless: g a s p


wheelie sonic: oh SHIT


screm dad: meet me in the fucking PIT Jeanist


wake me up: Jeanist fucking meet me in the pit


Asss: LMAO


reverse vore man: aw they sent it at the same time


KFC: i need a man like that


marshy mellow: lol Eraser and Yamada have turned death threats and stealing away children from bad homes into couple goals


Asss: iconic


KFC: what’s their secret?? asking for a friend


Legg: :eyes:


KFC: >:^|


Legg: istg


KFC: >:^|


Tea: Your penis doesn’t count as a friend, Hawks.


Legg: edjnskfgdxklkmldszf


marshy mellow: holY FRICK


wheelie sonic: fgbfjnlmkdsfd


KFC: Rumi I'm being bullied


Legg: wow how sad


KFC:  :^(



Chapter Text

you’re all fucking dead to me – shouta


screm dad has changed the chat name to Erasermic Fam Chat




wheelie sonic: O SHIT CONGRATS


shameless but not blameless: hell yea


wheelie sonic: lol look at Nemuri, refusing to break the aesthetic even though it’s a special fucking occasion.


shameless but not blameless: i still have those pictures


wheelie sonic: :fear:


peppermint boyo: wait if this is a family chat, why am I here?




PM between down to clown and shameless but not blameless


down to clown: babe I thought Zuko was one of the smart ones???


shameless but not blameless: eh yea he’s smart


shameless but not blameless: but he’s as dense as a fucking rock




down to clown: congrats to you disasters!! you’ve successfully stolen another child!! god only knows how y’all keep doing it, or why, but hey. congrats!!!


peppermint boyo: ???


wake me up: Tensei. I see you typing. Don’t.


nya binch: and Cryptid Dad makes a comeback


wake me up: Hito


screm dad: ANYWAYS


screm dad: thank you Emi!! you too Tensei


screm dad: Shou can I tell him????


peppermint boyo: ???


peppermint boyo: wait




condescending soba


peppermint boyo: not to sound dramatic or anything


peppermint boyo: but I think I just got adopted??


let it go: good they can keep you


peppermint boyo: rude


Yumi: wait hang on, what??


peppermint boyo: I got adopted Fuyumi


peppermint boyo: this is so fucking weird???


let it go: how weird??


peppermint boyo: I’ve been in the family chat for several days now without realizing it


let it go: that’s not weird, you’re just a dumbass


peppermint boyo: rude^2


let it go: anyways who the fuck even adopted you anyways


let it go: we gotta send them a fancy thank you card


peppermint boyo: okay so you know Present Mic??


peppermint boyo: him and his husband


peppermint boyo: also I don’t recommend a card, Mic would probably bawl his eyes out


let it go: all the more reason to be Extra


Yumi: Natsu!! don’t be mean to Shouto’s guardians!!


let it go: but Yuuuuuuuumi


Yumi: >:[


peppermint boyo: oh fuck, Natsuo you’re in trouble


let it go: anyways


Yumi: you aren’t getting away from your sins so easily


let it go: we still gonna be able to see you little bro??




Yumi: that’s actually a good question, will we??


peppermint boyo: i think so???


peppermint boyo: Mic and Aizawa didn’t seem opposed to it??


let it go: wait wait wait


let it go: Aizawa?? the caterpillar man???


Yumi: Your homeroom teacher??


peppermint boyo: goddamnit


peppermint boyo: i’ve been in the family for five seconds and i’ve already exposing their secrets fwjsdgldkrwretr


Yumi: sadjfigrefkldzlo


let it go: ok but mood


peppermint boyo: anyways


let it go: hang on little bro


peppermint boyo: aNyWAYS


peppermint boyo: i can ask about seeing you guys + mom


Yumi: please do!!


let it go: ^^^


let it go: it’d suck to lose you when we just got you back, you know?


peppermint boyo: i know




Erasermic Stop Adopting Challenge 2019




marshy mellow: !!!


marshy mellow: congrats!!


I AM MACHINE: o fuck that paperwork went through awfully fast, didn’t it?? congratulations


Gucci Wishes: congratulations!


cowboy babey: hell yea


Alchemist: congrats


Tea: Congratulations! I see that you and Eraser still have that adoption bread!



Chapter Text


~ shiny boi ~ : are we gonna have a problem??


deku uwu: you got a bone to pick?


girl: you’ve come so far


nya binch: why now are you pulling on my DICK???


BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: I’d normally slap your face off


Staples™: he would


pika p1ka binch: he wouldn’t even hesitate


Staples™ and pika p1ka binch are now offline!


jack off: well they’re both dead


Dwayne has changed BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL ’s name to heather chandler !


heather chandler:


heather chandler: are you fucking kidding me


nya binch: it’s accurate


Dwayne: what do you not like it??


heather chandler:


heather chandler: it’s okay


alien queen: #whipped


heather chandler: FUCK OFF


momo christ: Oh, we’re talking musicals!


momo christ: I’m a particular fan of Anastasia and the Comet of 1812!!


girl: I still need to listen to Comet, how good is it???


momo christ: Very.


girl: yesssssssssssss


#1 hot topic stan: I’m not a particular fan of how they cut Rasputin out of the musical


#1 hot topic stan: he was the best part of the movie


deku uwu: ????


deku uwu: Vlad??


#1 hot topic stan: that is a very compelling argument


friend: I can’t believe you would forget Vlad like that


Dwayne: smh Tokoyami


deku uwu: does anyone else really like Dear Evan Hansen??


Dwayne: !!!!


Dwayne: i LOVED deh


momo christ: Oh, DEH made me cry.


deku uwu: I was a total mess listening to You Will Be Found


jack off: oof


Dwayne: god BIG same


friend: all of you are so valid, kero


fantastic: CAN ANYBODY SEE




deku uwu: BACK AT ME


Dwayne: Ben Platt makes me cry


deku uwu: he’s so talented


nya binch: he’s got a great voice


jack off: yes, he does, but you wanna know who else has got a voice??


jack off: Barrett Wilbert Weed


girl: wait, heathers or mean girls??


jack off: both




Dwayne: yes!!! Janice was so cool!!!


deku uwu: Taylor Louderman was an awesome fit for Regina


Dwayne: you know who else would be an awesome fit for Regina??


Dwayne has changed heather chandler ’s name to Regina


alien queen: LMAO


jack off: qeajkwhglkhlgvjh KIRISHIMA




Regina has changed Dwayne ’s name to Gretchen


girl: eufhgjoflkhgfegrhf


#1 hot topic stan: hmm


Regina: fuck off


#1 hot topic stan: understandable


girl: real talk though, I was so excited when Gretchen got an entire number to herself


deku uwu: middle school me would’ve loved What’s Wrong with Me honestly


fantastic: oh god same


girl: you know what middle school me fucking loved??


girl: Wicked


nya binch: defying gravity?


girl: yea


girl: it was basically my theme song back in middle school


friend: defying gravity is still your theme song


girl: true <3


nya binch: Wicked’s good


momo christ: Idina Menzel’s voice was stunning


nya binch: ikr


girl: She’s probably responsible for my gay awakening


momo christ: ^


~ shiny boi ~ : Mon amies, you all are sleeping on Legally Blonde and I’m quite disappointed(;¬_¬)


deku uwu: !!!


fantastic: omg I fucking LOVE legally blonde


alien queen: Elle Woods is such an icon


deku uwu: guys EMMETT


Gretchen: EMMETT!!!!


deku uwu: i fucking loved Emmett


friend: Midoriya you give me big Emmett vibes


deku uwu: eqwasrdthjftkl


deku uwu: this is the greatest compliment I’ve ever gotten???


nya binch: Wait if Midoriya’s Emmett would that mean that Todoroki is Elle?


alien queen: ewfaurgejslthdytjfuy


jack off: i would pay to see that


fantastic: part of me is a little scared of what Todoroki would look like as a blond though


peppermint boyo: If I end up blonde through any means, the first people I’m going after are the four of you.


fantastic: yikes


alien queen: big Yikes


nya binch: fucking do it bitch


nya binch: nerf me Zuko


jack off: kinky


momo christ: ANYWAYS


momo christ: Vivian really deserved better and I’m glad she left Warner in the end.


alien queen: warner was a DICK


nya binch: guys PAULETTE


Gretchen: PAULETTE


deku uwu: did I leave my...stylus?


Gretchen: Kyle!!!!!


Gretchen: Kyle was awesome guys


alien queen: middle school kiri crushed on Kyle so hard


Gretchen: hush


not your hentai: all of us @ the Grape: do you hear the people sing


nya binch: qeafrgethr


fantastic: that was beautiful Shouji


not your hentai: thank you


peppermint boyo: that was the sad French one, right?


girl: ...sad French one....


jack off: fwergsdjkfml,


fantastic: dude why are you so ignorant??


peppermint boyo: It’s the childhood trauma


momo christ: Yes, Shouto. Les Misérables is the sad French one.


~ shiny boi ~ has changed ~ shiny boi ~ ’s name to ~Sad French One~!


fantastic: that’s valid Aoyama


nya binch: @wake me up pops


wake me up: what?


nya binch: talk musicals with us


wake me up: no?


girl: Mr. Aizawa, you like musicals??


friend: ^


#1 hot topic stan: ^


wake me up: goddamnit


wake me up: yea I know a few musicals


wake me up: if you really want to talk about musical theatre though, go to like. Midnight or Present Mic


wake me up: they love that sort of thing


alien queen: filing that information for later!


deku uwu: what are your favorites Sensei??


nya binch: give him a sec to think, he’s old


wake me up: Hitoshi


nya binch: lol


wake me up: back to your question


wake me up: Next to Normal and Chicago


deku uwu: my mom loves Chicago!!


deku uwu: she’s always playing Cell Block Tango at home


deku uwu: when she cooks


deku uwu: when she cleans


deku uwu: i probably have most of it memorized by now


wake me up: i


wake me up: i did not have her pegged as someone who would love Chicago


deku uwu: yea, people are always really surprised when they hear that


nya binch: can’t imagine why


deku uwu: she really likes Waitress too though


nya binch: see now THAT makes a lot more sense.




Gretchen: omg be more chill!!


deku uwu: michael!! all time fave!!!


Gretchen: rgsjdfkml yea i get what you mean


deku uwu: i relate to michael in the bathroom more than i probably should


nya binch: Eric William Morris could sasuke choke me and I’d say thank you


wake me up: i just want to say, from the bottom of my heart


wake me up: i did not need to know That


jack off: fidjvnsfjkm, yea Shinsou keep your hormones in check


Spiderman but it’s just Tail: i log on for once in my life, and this is what i see


nya binch: this is homophobia


vroom: I believe you mean “Horny-phobia”


deku uwu: iefjnskglhngkl.g,vmdl


Gretchen: renjlk;fldsfdnjrk


jack off: ersnjtlkdffgnjds


alien queen: class pres, I’m so proud of you


nya binch: wow I can’t believe all of you, my own father included, are such hornyphobes.


wake me up: due to personal reasons, i will be disowning roughly half of you all


Gretchen: why only half??


alien queen: lmao “only”


wake me up: Kouda did nothing wrong


snow white (*/∇\*)


jack off: that’s true


snow white : (*/ω\*)


fantastic: here in this house we love and appreciate Kouda


Spiderman but it’s just Tail: it’s Kouda appreciation hours


alien queen: rt


deku uwu: rt


fantastic: rt


Gretchen: rt


jack off: rt


momo christ: rt


 ✿ snow white  : (/ω\)