Work Header

Meeting Eli and The Battle Begins

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

I clapped my hands.

“Alright! Any questions?” I asked.

“How Long will we be here?’ Jake asked.

“Not to long, It will take about a week or so. It depends on how fast we read.” i responded

“What?!?! We have plans, lives! We cant be gone for a week!” Shouted Keith and Judas.

“Now don’t get your undergarments in a twist. Time will not pass outside of my home. In fact take a gander out the window.” I responded.

Jimmy looked around, no one wanted to move. He looked to his older brother. Eli and Joshua gave a nod. Jimmy hopped up and walk to the big bay windows. He grasped the curtains and threw them back. The group around me gasped. Eli and Joshua smirked, and Mr. Accuser growled. Outside the window was a sprawling universe in a multitude of colors. Stars twinkled and danced against a backdrop of swirling colors: blues, greens, pinks, purples and oranges. A marvelous sight.

“This little home of mine sits outside of time itself. There are others like me, I have no idea what their homes are like, but mine sits in the vast expanse of space.” I said. “Please close the curtains, Jimmy.”

Their awe remained on their faces, as Jimmy drew the curtains closed. Moments passed in silence. As everyone absorbed what they now know.

“So shall we begin reading ?” I asked.

There were murmurs of agreement. And a sneare from Mr. Accuser.

“Would you like to start us off, Mr. Accuser?” I asked.

“No, I Would Not! I have no desire to be here!”

“Well no need to be snappy. I was only asking.” I responded. I turned to the others in the group. “Who wants to read?” I held up the book.

Judas raised his hand. “I will.”

I passed the book toward him. “Just a quick note, Some of these books were written after the original, as such they will make mention of details about the time that the original does not. Also, your universe’s technology developed fast then mine.”

“The Battle Begins. By Bill Myers. “ Judah read.


I hate God.

Same goes for His kid.

The very name of His boy makes my scales crawl. That’s why I convinces the inhabitants of this parallel world to call him by his middle name. Granted, Eli is almost as obnoxious. But at least I can hear it without retching. I do miss the joy of people using his other name when they’re mad or cussing over something - nothing gives me as much pleasure as hearing my Enemy’s name associated with hate and pain. But losing that bit of happiness is a small price to pay. After all, compromise is the name of the game.

At least my game.”

Judas looked up from the book. “Creepy way to open a story.”

Mr. Accuser snarled at the rest of us. “Those are my thoughts and feelings. Just you wait and see how the stories from your perspective open.”

“Now Judas, I do not want any fights yet. I expect that there will be some later on but for now, please don’t push the Creep’s buttons.”

Judas nodded and looked back at the book. Picking up where he left of.

“And don’t get me started on his followers which I hate almost as much as I do him. True,  there are plenty of them who serve me better than my own street team - especially the one who use religion to get into your face. I love the fact that every generation has its Pharisees - the ones who know their Book backwards and forwards and use it to spew judgment on anyone who disagrees. Yes sir, nobody helps my PR campaign against the Enemy like the devout. Not the ones He’s transformed: I’d destroy them in a nanosecond if I could. seriously , they’re such a pain. No, I’m  talking about the ones who quote the words of the book, but are clueless of its Author. Who follow His every letter, but know nothing of His friendship. Those who try to change people from the outside with His rules, instead of from the inside with His love.”

“His Love?” asked Reverend Benjamin

“His Love. This whole series, was written to display the Love of God, to people who need a reminder.” I answered.

“Okay, enough Chatter. If you haven’t guesses my name by now, you’re and idiot and not worth telling.”

“Yo..YOU….YOU ARE THE DEVIL!!!! AHHHAHAH!” screeched Jimmy as he tried to crawl further into his arm chair.

“Well, Boy, it seems you do have some brains.” responded Satan

I got up from my seat and walked over to Jimmy. “It is okay Jimmy, he is unlikely to try anything here. Plus, I have a few tricks up my sleeves if he does act out.” Jimmy started to calm down but he still looked scared. “Why don’t you come sit with me, Eli, and Joshua? It might make you feel safer.”

Jimmy nodded. I took his hand and lead him back to the couch. I was immensely grateful that it could hold more people. I did wonder why no one else had sat by Eli and Joshua. But I put the thought out of my mind. Everyone else beside Eli, Joshua, Satan and Myself was shaken. But Jimmy seemed to be on the mend.

“Judas, please keep reading.” requested Eli.

Judas gave a nod, and picked up where he left off.

“In the future, you’ll here plenty from his misguided minions. Each will have their own diaries talking about their times with him. Not that I’m worried. They’re all losers. If you don’t believe me, check their bios:

-Maggie, the all-school sleep around,

-Pete, a jock with a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease,

-Tommy, the downer,

-Martha, the servaholic,

-Judas, who I personally have the highest hopes for.

And the list goes on. But this first diary is mine so pay attention because there will be a test at the end. And, trust me, the results will go on your very permanent record.

I won’t bore you how the Enemy brought Eli into this particular world. It’s pretty much the same as He’s done in all the others-pregnant virgin, born in a barn, worshipped by migrant workers who claimed to see angels, and finally three foreign dignitaries who drop by to kick start everything with weird gifts.

Forget all that. Ancient history.

Today is a new day with new opportunities…”

“That’s the end of the introduction.” Judas said as Widow Mary got to her feet.

She stormed toward Satan.

“How Dare YOU! My Son was not born in a Barn. It was a Laundry Room! And it was Hippies and Hippie Immigrants who came! It was a wonderful and beautiful time.” she fummed.

“Scamattics Lady. Sca-matt-ics.” Responded the Accuser of the Brethren.

“WHY YOU!!!!!”

“Mom, I know you are mad. But please sit down.” Eli speake

She turned to look at her son. Something passed between them in that moment. Then all the anger went out of her as she returned to her seat.

“Well now we can go on….” I started to say as a chime rang throughout my home. “ I wonder who that could be.”