Chapter 1: Another Boring Day
Another boring day, that’s what I thought it was going to be, and for the most part, I was right. My day was filled with sniffling brats telling me some sob story excuse of why they couldn’t do their homework. If they aren’t going to do it they might as well just own up to it. I give them a whole week to hand them in and still half the class insists on not doing the assignments. Like honestly, I get it. I hate homework too, but it’s not my choice it’s principal Smith’s. He thinks a little homework is good for them. I’d like to see him waste his nights grading if he likes it so much.
After my last class came in and took their seats I took role before announcing “homework needs to be turned in,” just as I do every week. Though this should be no surprise to them half the class gasped and started to panic. I don’t know how many times I’ve told them homework is due on Fridays. It’s been like what, 3 months and they still haven’t gotten it down.
I watched as several kids raised there hand. Mr. Ackerman this, Mr. Ackerman that. I cut them off then and there, “if you don’t have a note saying you were hospitalized then no excuses,” I said only to earn a bunch of groaning and “but Mr. Ackerman.”
“Any notes? No, then no buts,” I silenced them. I collected the homework from the few students that actually do it.
“Thank you Mr. Arlert,” I said collecting Armin’s stack of paper’s.
As I was coming around the class I stopped in front of one of my students who usually does her homework. She gave me a weird look before asking, “can I talk to you after class?” This seemed unusual since she’s usually very quiet during class and always does her homework without complaint. She’s a star student and never misses an assignment, ever. Now from her, I might actually listen to an excuse.
“Sure thing,” I said before continuing my rounds. She looked different than normal. She normally was very neat and wellrested. However, the bags under her eyes, the redness in her face, her messy hair, and wrinkled up clothes told me something was going on.
After that, I passed out the next stack of assignments. I made them as easy as possible since I was really trying hard to get students to actually do their work. I swear half of the assignments ended up in the trash by the time class was ending. I just sighed and watched them get thrown away. The least they can do is hand them back to me rather than waste the paper.
The class left all but one. “Mikasa, you wanted to talk to me?” I asked taking a seat in the desk next to hers.
She nodded without looking up. I waited quietly for her to say what she needed to say but she seemed very hesitant about it. After a moment of silence passed she finally spoke up. “I know you said no excuses but-,” she started.
“I’m going to stop you there.” I wanted to make sure she felt comfortable talking to me without feeling like one of those delinquents who throw their assignments in the trash. “I only said that because I know for a fact the people who were giving me the excuses don’t do their homework, you on the other hand usually do the work so I’ll listen to what you have to say.” With that, I sat back and listened quietly.
She nodded again more confident in her response this time, however, she still looked a bit hesitant. She froze wanting to say something her mouth open but the words seemed to be caught in her throat. “My father passed away this week,” she finally rushed out. The words seemed to physically pain her. “I’m in between homes at the moment. Between trying to move in with my brother and dealing with my dad’s death I haven’t really had any time to get work done,” her voice was quiet and fragile. She was careful with her words almost as if she said the wrong one she wouldn’t be able to finish what she was saying. Her voice had started to crack towards the end and I knew she wasn’t making this up.
I’ve heard a lot of excuses and some pretty convincing but even the theatre kids couldn't pull off the look someone gets in their eyes when they are fighting against themselves to hold back tears. I’ve heard just about every excuse in the book which is saying something since some are pretty out there. Then again my seniors aren’t all that bright at times.
“I’m sorry for your loss, and don’t worry about the homework assignments I’ll give you as much time as you need to make them up.” I hated having to say that. I wish I could just say you don’t have to turn them in, but Erwin would have my head for that. I wanted each and every one of my students to have the chance to succeed but I more than anyone know just how hard a loss can be on a person.
I lost my mother at a young age, and in the neighborhood I grew up in death was as common as a cold. I lost many friends growing up and though it was hard I had to keep moving forward despite grief trying to hold me back.
Grief throws people into a pit that’s hard to crawl out of. It causes star students to have F’s, happy people to become depressed, and strong people to come undone. It has the potential to ruin lives, but only if you let it. Grief is a grave that tends to bury people, and though it’s hard it’s not impossible to dig your way out of it. Life goes on whether you want it to or not.
“Thank you,” She said quietly not a word more was spoken as she slowly gathered her things to leave. It’s almost as if she couldn’t bring herself to say anything more. The tears made her eyes gloss over. If she said anything more they might have just spilled out. When the door was closed I let out a sigh. The school day was over, finally. It ended off on such a depressing note I couldn’t help but worry if she would be okay.
She said she was moving in with her brother, so at least she has some family. I’ve only met her dad once, he seemed like a perfectly healthy gentleman. He did, however, briefly mention that her mother had passed away a few years back. It was such a shame for her to lose both her parents so early on. It almost reminds me of my childhood… Let’s not go there. Remember only look forward never back.
I cleaned the room, collected the assignments and headed out the door. Like I said just another boring day. I headed out to my car and started to head home. I stopped at a red light and looked next to me at the person blaring music with their window down. I rolled my eyes as I was about to roll my window up when he looked at me. He gave me a smile I’ll never forget before he started to sing the cheesy song to me. What kinda sappy romantic movie shit it this? I don’t know but it almost worked too until the light turned green. I just flashed him a smile and drove away. Well, it’s not like I’ll ever see him again. What a shame, he was kinda cute.
I was heading over to my childhood home to help my sister pack up the rest of dad’s things. I loved my dad, but I decided that I wasn’t going to let this keep me locked in my room for days on end. Well, that and the whole gravity of the situation hadn’t really hit me yet. Guess I was still in denial or whatever, but here I am driving listening to these happy-ass songs to make sure my mood doesn’t change.
I drove with my windows down since it was hot and my AC was being difficult lately. It only works when it wants to. I really should take my car in, but I just can’t be bothered.
I stopped at a light and let out a little groan this light usually took so long to change. I just turned my attention to the music. I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked out the passenger window and lo and behold there was a person staring at me, and man was he cute. He looked annoyed that I had my music up so high.
Time to put on a show. I flashed him a smile as the song changed to a cheesy love song. Perfect. I started singing to him and he looked more amused than annoyed now. He flashed me a big smug smile before driving away. I looked up, sure enough, the light had turned green. Great, I’m never going to see him again… but he was so cute. I let out a big sigh as the people behind me started to honk. “Alright I get it,” I yelled out my window as I started driving.
I made it to the house. Mikasa was already home. She was staying here for a few more weeks since it was close enough to walk to the school. I know that’s not the real reason. The real reason was that she wasn’t ready to let go just yet. She missed him, I missed him, but life goes on no matter how hard it hurts. I told her I was putting the house up for sale in two months. Until then she could come and go as she pleased. However, we still had to get stuff out of the house and fix it up for when it was time to sell.
I could tell it was harder on her than on me. She was the one who found him. He wasn’t breathing but apparently, he was still warm when she ran over to shake him. She called an ambulance, but by the time they got there, it was too late. He had a heart attack in his sleep they had told us. Mikasa went to call me but she couldn’t speak she was crying too hard, or that’s what the paramedic had explained after she handed her the phone.
It’s been almost 5 days and I still can’t believe what happened. When I got the call I had asked the EMT to repeat herself 4 times. He was perfectly healthy but here she was telling me he had died. I always told him he was working himself too hard. I told him that he was too stressed and that he needed a break. He was a doctor who worked 24-shifts all the time. He never took a break even holidays he was being called into work.
Then again I think that's how he managed to deal with his grief. After mom died when I was 12 I started to see dad less and less. At first, I thought he was working more to support us, which was partially true, but the main reason was when he threw himself into work he didn’t have time to think about her death. He didn’t have to think about how they never found the drunk driver who hit her that night, how she apparently suffered there in pure agony for 30 minutes before finally dying, or how she would never be coming home.
I sighed and stepped out of the house for a moment to breath. I don’t know what hit me harder the realization that he’s actually gone, or the realization that Mikasa was my responsibility now and I couldn’t fuck this up. There’s still a good 7 months before she turns 18, and that means she’s still legally a minor and I was her legal guardian now. Child protective services were going to be on my ass waiting for me to screw up. I knew I could take care of her, that wasn’t the issue what was the issue is these people looking over my shoulder every goddamn second. I’ve already been visited by two child service workers asking me if I’m sure I can take care of her.
I may only be 21 but I’ve been taking care of her since she was 8. Hell, I was only 12 at the time but I still was a responsible guardian even then. Who do they think watched her when dad was working all day every day? I knew until she turned 18 I was going to have CPS on my ass every moment of every day.
I wish I could say this was just another boring day, but no it was much worse than that. Today was painful, but my smile never faltered as I stayed positive for Mikasa’s sake.
Chapter 2: It's a Date
We cleaned up parts of the house slowly packing up dad’s things. I let Mikasa choose what we gave away and what we kept. A few times she would point at some stuff and tell me we were giving away, but she asked if we could leave it there a little longer. I knew she wasn’t ready to let go of him, and I didn’t want to push her. Two days ago at the funeral, she was a mess. I swore if she cried any harder she would have blacked out. I mean hell, if I wasn’t trying so hard to stay strong for her I would have been a sobbing mess too.
When it was starting to get late I told Mikasa I was heading home. I asked her if she wanted to come with, but I knew her answer before I asked.
“No, I’d like to stay here,” she said without turning away from the chair dad spent his free time in.
“Okay, keep your phone on so I can check in. If you need anything call no matter the time my phone will be on okay?” I had to make sure she knew I was there for her. I would stay in the house with her if I didn’t have work in the morning.
Unlike most people, I actually like my boss. She knew my situation and decided to give me the easiest shift there was. I worked as a receptionist at a physical therapy center. Mornings are usually the slowest shifts surprisingly. It only starts to pick up around noon. It was her way of keeping my income coming in without stressing me out with some of the harder shifts which she was covering now.
Note to self send her some flowers or something as a thank you, or maybe I can take her out to lunch again. Last time we went we had a lot of fun, even though she had to leave a little earlier than expected since her girlfriend’s car broke down.
Once I was in my car I was almost home when I remembered that I barely had any food in the fridge and man was I hungry. I got in the turning lane and headed to the grocery store. I knew I was making a mistake, never go to the grocery store hungry.
I grabbed a cart and walked through the automatic doors. I went straight to the junk food at first to check and see if they had anything good. Nope, not even those cookies with the good frosting. Lame, I headed to the fruits and veggies section. Well, might as well check here for stuff right? Now that I’m going to be taking care of Mikasa I have to actually act like an adult rather than just eating cups of ramen for breakfast lunch and dinner.
After picking up some rabbit food, I mean veggies, I headed to the cooking utensils realizing I only really had one pan for cooking. Usually, I used it as a makeshift cereal bowl when I get lazy enough. Oh man, I’m actually going to have to buy more dishes and silverware too. I think I only have like 4 of everything, and with how much I hate doing the dishes I probably need to pick up more.
While I was grabbing some new silverware I notice a face that I couldn’t quite place. He definitely looks famili- “oh my god it’s the hot guy from the car.”
He looked at me like I was crazy and oh shit, I said that out loud. I gave him an awkward smile. Way to go Eren now he probably thinks you’re creepy. Shit, he’s coming over.
“So you think I’m hot?” he asked with that smug ass grin, the same one he gave me as he drove off.
“What’s that sound? Oh, it’s just my heart stopping,” I mumbled awkwardly not knowing what else to say.
“You’re funny,” his smile changed to a nicer one.
“Funny? Me? No, just socially awkward,” I laughed before realizing he was actually flirting with me and I was looking more and more like an idiot. “I mean, hi,” I said my voice shaking a little as my brain powered down.
“Hi,” he responded back rolling his eyes, “name’s Levi what’s yours?”
“Name?” I asked. My mind hadn’t fully processed what he had said.
“You know what people call you?”
“Oh, my names uh my name is Eren.” Smooth I mentally facepalmed. Now you sound creepy and stupid.
“You sure about that?” He laughed, “you sure had to think about it.”
I can’t focus, his smile is blinding, my mind is shutting down how do you people? “Yeah, I um, yeah.” Words you know coherent English, can you speak it instead of blanking? I yelled at myself mentally.
“Well, Eren I have to get back to shopping, but if you want to get coffee sometime here’s my number,” he said pulling a pen and a little notepad out of his pocket. Does he do this a lot? He wrote down the number and handed it to me. I didn't move for a good minute I just stared at the piece of paper in my hand. Did I actually just get his number despite acting brainless.
“Yeah,” I finally spoke up looking back up at him.
“Is tomorrow around 3 fine?”
“Yeah, I don’t have any plans.” Great now you sound like a loser.
“Good to hear,” he smiled, “see you tomorrow,” he said in a low voice that sounded almost like a purr. What the hell just happened.
Well, that just happened. Damn, I came here for a wine opener and picked up a guy instead. I didn’t even grab the wine opener since I was to busy flirting. Which means I have to go back over to where he is. Nope, I’m just going to go home, I mean it’s not like I can’t find another way to open my wine. I’ll figure something out.
What the hell was I even thinking? I’ve never done something like that before just giving my number out to a guy I barely met. Shit, maybe the cheesy romantic singing did work on me. What is he a male siren? Nah, siren’s are actually good at singing they aren't half tone deaf.
Looks like I’m going on a date tomorrow. At least I was right about one thing, he’s cute. Well, cute in the lost puppy sorta way. That’s just his personality, but his looks hot damn he’s fine. A little taller than my usual taste, but I’ll make an exception.
I headed home empty-handed. Maybe I won’t drink tonight. I could always save it for tomorrow. Who knows if our date goes well enough maybe I’ll need it. Damn, I just met the guy and I’m already thinking about how he would look under me in bed. Stop, don’t be that guy.
When I got home my lights were on? I grabbed my keys and held it between my knuckles. Someone’s getting punched either it will be a criminal who broke into my house or my annoying friend who used her spare key… again.
I opened the door and sure enough, she’s sitting on my couch. “How many times do I have to tell you I gave you that key for emergencies only.” I half expected her to be here even before seeing the lights on, but I can’t let her know that.
“It was an emergency!” she whined.
“Being bored isn’t an emergency Hanji,” I sighed and made my way over to the couch sitting next to her. “Besides don’t you have a girlfriend you can annoy?”
“No, she’s out of town for the next to weeks, and with the time difference she’s already sleeping,” she groaned laying her head on my shoulder. “So I thought I would annoy you instead,” her disappointment turned into a smug smile.
“Great,” I rolled my eyes. “I was going to partake in some wine but I don’t have a corkscrew.”
“Oh,” she dug in there bag and pulled out a travel size one. “Here.”
“Only you would carry one with you.”
“I never leave the house without it.”
Alcoholic much? “Well care to join me?” I asked heading into the kitchen.
“I thought you’d never ask,” she smiled and followed me into my kitchen. She slid herself up on the counter. Well isn’t she right at home.
“You know I would prefer you to not put your ass on my clean counter,” my complaint fell on deaf ears.
“You going to open the wine or not?” she groaned impatiently.
I poured us each a glass and she held her glass up. “Cheers to being alone,” she said sarcastically.
“Cheers,” I said before downing my glass. Should I tell her I have a date tomorrow? Damn, I’m not drunk yet where did that thought come from? If I tell her then she will blow my eardrums out an proceed to make me tell her everything about the guy I’m seeing. Come to think of it I only really know his name. Shit, I don’t even know how old he is. He has to be over 18 at least, oh damn is he even old enough to drink. I started panicking this is what happens when I make decisions without thinking.
“Don’t tell me you’re tapping out already?” She asked.
“No what makes you think that?”
“You looked a little green there? You sure you feeling okay?” Her hand went up to my forehead. I quickly shooed it away.
“Yeah I’m fine, don’t go all nurse one me,” I rolled my eyes.
“Speaking of-” her voice trailed into a smile. “Storytime,” she brought her legs up and crossed them underneath her.
“No shoes on my counter!” I cut her off.
She quickly kicked her shoes off onto the floor before pulling her feet back up under her. I rolled my eyes, there was no winning with her. “Proceed,” I said defeated.
“So you know the student from your class who you thought was faking it? Well, he was… kinda. He really did vomit, but it wasn’t from him being sick like he said, it was from him trying to eat paper.” She laughed. “These kids are so inventive nowadays.
“That’s one word for it,” I rolled my eyes. “Not necessarily the one I would choose though.” Dumb, stupid, moronic, foolish, vacuous, the list goes on and on. I’ve literally made a mental list while sitting in class of all the things my students are the negatives far outweigh the positives.
I heard my phone go off and sure enough so did Hanji. “Who’s that?” she asked as I checked my phone.
“Hey it’s Eren just realized I forgot to text you earlier,” the message had said.
“It’s no one,” I clicked my phone off not even daring to respond with Hanji watching me like a hawk.
“Sure,” her voice raised in a mocking tone.
“Believe what you want, it’s just this wrong number that keeps messaging me,” I let out a sigh. She seemed to believe me. Good, I don’t want to deal with her nagging.
After we finished the wine Hanji asked a question I was already prepared for. “Can I spend the night here?”
“I don’t know,” I teased. I was going to give in. As much as I pretended the be annoyed by Hanji’s antics I love her to death and her company is always better than spending the night alone.
“I brought movies,” she tried to bribe me.
“Sold,” I smiled and we went back into the front room with a bowl of popcorn. After the movies, we headed into my room and went to bed. Fridays were my favorite since Hanji usually hung out here after school whether I’m here or not. Her girlfriend usually works so Hanji chills here even when she isn’t away.
Chapter 3: Desk Work
I woke up and got ready for the morning shift. I left early so I could go and check on Mikasa first. When I got to the house I brought my hand up to the door before dropping it back to my side. I walked right in. It felt weird. Normally I’d knock first as a courtesy for dad so I didn’t scare him half to death popping by unannounced. However, dad’s gone now…
I threw on a smile in case Mikasa was up. She had always been a morning person. I walked around through the front room and down the hall to her room. I knocked on the door and when I didn’t hear an answer I opened the door and announce my presence. “Mikasa, you in there?” I asked. The curtains were closed and the room was mostly dark. I walked over to the bed to see if she was there but when I got closer I realized it was empty. Strange.
I walked out of the room closing the door behind me before thinking where she might be. She had to still be in the house. She never told me she would leave, and she would tell me. Wouldn’t she?
I walked back into the front room and looked off to the other hallway. Dad’s room was at the end of that hallway. Could it be? I walked down the hallway and saw her curled up in a ball at the base of his closed door. His door was never closed.
“Mikasa?” No answer. I got closer and realized she was sleeping there on the floor. Her body looked a little blue and she seemed to be shivering. Her eyes had bags under them, worse than before. There were tear tracks down her cheeks and her hair tangled almost as if she had been running her fingers through it. Did she lay here all night? I walked over and kneeled down next to her before scooping her up and carrying her to her bed. I haven’t had to do this since she was little.
I tucked her back into bed making sure to throw an extra blanket over her. I was about to close her door and head out when I heard her call my name. I turned around and she was sitting up looking at me.
“You okay?” I asked. I wanted her to be able to talk to me. I wanted her to tell me what was wrong rather than I force it out of her. I won’t pry, but I will support her however she needs it.
“No,” her voice was quiet.
I walked over and sat on the bed next to her and let her throw her arms around me. I was surprised she actually answered honestly. I’m glad she’s not keeping these emotions in it’s not healthy, I should know. “What are you feeling?”
“I can’t bring myself to go in his room, but I can’t seem to stay away from it either. I keep expecting for him to walk out of the room, wish me a good morning, and start heading out to work, but he doesn’t and he won’t ever again.” Her voice breaking as she spoke.
“I know.” I didn’t know what to say, I was still trying to process that he was gone I didn’t know how to help, but I’m damn sure going to try. “Let’s try thinking of it this way,” I said catching her attention, “rather than waiting for him to say good morning, why don’t you say good morning.”
“But he’s gone,” I’ve never seen her look at me more confused.
“Just because you can’t see him doesn’t mean he’s gone.” Man, I’m really butchering this. “What I’m trying to say is though he’s passed away our memories of him are still here. So when we wake up we can tell him good morning and when we go to sleep we can tell him goodnight and maybe just maybe it will make us feel a little better.” She just stared at me deadpanned for a moment. “I know I’m probably not making any sense,” I started but she just shook her head.
“I get what you’re trying to say,” she said before getting up and walking into the front room. She stopped in the front room before looking at the hallway leading to dad’s room. “Good morning dad,” she said her voice breaking a little, “hope you have a good day up there,” she said before nodding and heading back to her room.
She took a deep breath and blinking to try and clear the forming tears, “you’re right, it did help… a little,” she nodded.
“I'm glad to hear,” I gave her a smile and she laid back down in bed. “I think I’m going to sleep in today.
“Okay, I’m going to head to work. If you need me even if it’s something little feel free to call me or text me okay?”
“I will,” she smiled. I ruffled her hair and headed out locking the door behind me.
When I got in the car I broke down. I couldn’t hold it in anymore I just needed a moment to regain my composure. After a few minutes, I was able to suppress the rest of my emotions and started heading to work.
While I was at work I got a text from Mikasa asking if she could go to a friends house tonight for a while. I gave her permission and told her that I could take her after my shift ended. I put my phone away and got right back to work.
Just as I suspected it was going rather slow. Only three people had come in in the hour I’ve been here. It was so slow one of the trainers even came out to harass me. He must be bored too.
“How’s it going, Jaeger?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in the back?” I rolled my eyes.
“Only when I have a client. Right now I can mess with you though,” he laughed.
“Great,” I sighed and pretended to work on the computer.
“On a more serious note how are you doing?” he asked, “I heard about your dad and I’m really sorry.”
“I’m fine, it’s just my sister is really taking it hard.” Was I really talking about this with him? This is not how our friendship works. We insult each other and annoy each other that’s our thing, not this heartfelt crap.
“You sure she’s the only one?” He asked raising an accusing eyebrow.
“Doesn’t matter,” I let out a long sigh. My emotions don’t matter I can deal with them after Mikasa is taken care of.
“Of course it matters,” He started but I cut him off.
“Anyway how’s your boyfriend,” I asked switching the subjects. Cheap move, but I knew he couldn’t resist gushing over his boyfriend.
“This isn’t over,” he crossed his arms and glared.
“Right now it is,” I smiled widely but I think he could see how my eyes were begging him. I can’t listen to this anymore.
“Fine, He’s great. We actually are both working right now and we get off within an hour of each other,” he smiled.
“You still hopelessly alone?” he said more to vex me rather than actually ask me.
“Actually I have a date tonight,” I laughed at him rubbing it in his face. I don’t know what exactly I was rubbing in his face since he’s been in a happy relationship for 3 years now and I’ve been alone for all 3 of them.
“Oh, do tell,” he said leaning on the counter. “What’s she like?”
“She?” This dude thought I was straight. What a joke.
“He?” he asked even more intrigued now. “That explains so much actually,” he laughed.
“I think your gaydar is broken. You thought I was straight all this time. I’ve literally shown you pictures of hot guys telling you how hot I thought they were.” I couldn’t help but erupt with laughter.
“Yeah, but I thought you were just trying to amuse me or something, I guess I wasn’t thinking.” He shrugged off his laughter.
I took a moment to stop laughing before answering his question. “I don’t know much about him besides he’s charismatic.”
“Is he hot?”
“Smokin,” I said before realizing how stupid that sounded.
“You’ve ruined it, I was so happy you got a date, but now I’m just wondering how the hell your awkward ass found a person willing to date you,” he laughed, “did you like bribe him or something?”
“No! I sang to him,” I said quietly. That sounded horrible.
“Oh my god, your tone-deaf ass sang to him and he decided to ask you out?”
“I’m not… actually, you have a point. I don’t really know why he asked me out.”
“Maybe he’s a serial killer,” he said with a shrug.
“He wouldn’t be would he?” I got worried. No one had asked me out like that especially not after I went all awkward on them. Did he actually have a point? Wait-
“Dude chill I was kidding,” he must have noticed how pale I went.
A client walked in and he patted my shoulder before heading back into the room. “Later Jaeger.”
“Bye Jean,” I mumbled quietly before helping them.
After my little chat with Jean, I couldn’t help but start to overthink the situation. Maybe he was right? No that’s ridiculous. I took a deep breath and finished the rest of my shift off trying not to overthink but failing miserably. I was excited for this date and nothing could change that… maybe.
When I got home I took Mikasa to her friend's house before starting to get ready. I had two hours before I was supposed to meet him for coffee. He sent me a text about 5 minutes ago of the coffee shop he wanted to meet up at and I haven’t brought myself to respond yet. Instead of typing “okay see you there” I kept typing “you’re not a killer are you?”
I took a deep breath and finally typed what I wanted too before clicking send. Whatever you do just don’t ask him that stupid question. He’s not a killer, besides if he is he’s not gonna answer you if you do ask. Ya know because when you ask someone if they are a killer they are totally going to be like yup I’m a killer and I plan to kill you even though we are in a public place.
I took another deep breath and collapsed back on my bed. These few hours until the date were going to be long.
Chapter 4: Date Night
When I woke up this morning I couldn’t get that stupid thought out of my head. Eren had to be over 18 right? God if he’s not I might as well shoot myself then and there.
I was so distracted I didn’t even hear Hanji walking out of the room behind me. She threw her hands around me and laid her head on my shoulder. “You look stressed. What’s wrong?” God, I forgot how clingy she is when she wakes up.
“How I have to go back to work in 2 days. It’s not enough time,” I sighed before heading into the kitchen to make breakfast. Sometimes she can be so nosy.
“You say that, but I know you love being a teacher,” she said with a cheerful tone before setting out plates and silverware for breakfast. She’s right of course but I just stay quiet. My mind is too distracted to argue with her. After breakfast, Hanji went home leaving me alone with my thoughts. These next few hours were going to take forever. I killed time cleaning up the house even though it was already spotless.
When it was time to leave I took a deep breath and headed on my way I texted Eren when I got there. He was still 3 minutes away. Well, at least he’s punctual. I’m always early usually waiting for my late ass date. Looks like this time I won’t be waiting long. I thought those three minutes would be longer than 3 minutes. However there he is walking through the door at the time he said.
I called him over and I greeted him with a handshake before offering to order our coffee. After he awkwardly stammered out his order I walked over and got the coffee. When I sat back down I made sure to keep my composure, he, on the other hand, was nervously fidgeting and practically shaking. God, I knew he was awkward but damn.
“You’re not a killer are you?” he blurted out before slapping a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry that just slipped out, I was talking with my friend and he filled my head with a bunch of-,” I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I busted out into laughter and his rambling stopped dead.
“No I’m not a killer,” I finally said when I was able to catch my breath.
“Oh thank god,” he let out a sigh of relief.
“Why did you think I was a killer?” I know he said something about his friend but come on there has to be more too it.
“Well, because you asked my awkward ass out on a date,” he laughed, “my friend thought that was weird.
“Maybe I thought your awkward ass was cute,” his face flushed. “Now, I have a question for you? How old are you?” I asked finally.
Oh god, well at least he’s over 18, and he can drink so there’s a plus. Not that bad. “Okay cool,” I think he could tell I was a little worried for his answer. If he was younger than 18 I would have just gotten up and left right then and there.
“Why how old are you?” There it is.
“I’m 24,” I mumbled. Wait for it wait for it and-.
“You’re 24? You look 19!” his jaw practically dropped.
“Yeah, so I’ve been told,” it’s not like I don’t hear that every day. “So where do you work?” I asked taking a sip of my coffee hoping to change the subject.
“I work as a receptionist,” he shrugged. “Not all that special. How about you where do you work?”
“I’m an English teacher,” I shrugged. God the last thing I want to think about is those snot nose brats.
“Oh that’s so cool,” he sounded genuine.
I just laughed, “not if you meet my students,” I shrugged.
“Some. Some students you swear they have nothing but air in their skulls. Others aren’t so bad.”
“Still sounds better than sitting at a desk all day talking to people you don’t know. If you thought I was awkward flirting with you, you should see me at work,” he said with a smile.
“Hold up, flirting with me? That’s what you call that disaster,” I couldn’t help but laugh in his face a little. “It was cute seeing you try I’ll give you that,” his face turned a little red from embarrassment but he seemed okay. I sometimes can take things a little too far and hurt people’s feelings. He didn’t seem hurt, he just shrugged it off and retorted.
“Well, it worked, didn’t it? Here we are sitting across from each other on a date. So I did something right.”He gave a smug smile.
“You’re a cocky little shit aren’t ya, I like it,” I flashed him a smile. Usually, when I insult people joking or not they don’t retort, well except for Hanji. He’s a keeper that’s for sure.
The rest of the date went smoothly and we agreed to meet for dinner tomorrow night. We spent the whole date getting to know each other. I felt like I learned a lot from Eren. After the first 5 minutes, his awkwardness faded away and he seemed a little more comfortable being around me. What a shame, he looked so cute when he fidgeted with his hands. I know one thing for sure. I can’t wait for our date tomorrow.
I can’t believe I started the date by asking him if he was a killer. I’m just glad it all worked out in the end. We have a date tomorrow and I honestly can’t wait. I thought he was younger than me, but it turns out he’s 3 years older than me, like damn.
I just thought he was attractive but I’m falling for him the more I learn about him. He isn’t easy to read at first. We all have our walls, but he has some pretty high ones. When he would get excited you could see him drop his walls and talk a little more freely.
When I asked him if he’s read any good books I watched his face light up. He rambled on for a few minutes before realizing he was rambling. I would have let him go on for hours if he wanted too seeing the way his smile played on his lips. How his eyes lit up as he talked. How involved he was in his explanation. God, we’ve been on one date and I’ve already fallen for him… Hard.
Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough. After my date, I headed home and waited for Mikasa to call and tell me that she was ready to be picked up. It didn’t take long. I think the only reason that she went was because her friend wanted to make sure she was okay. That Armin kid is so caring and he looks after Mikasa when I can’t. Maybe she’ll open up to him and get some of this grief off her shoulders.
When I picked her up her eyes were read and I could tell she had been crying. When I asked her if she was okay she told me that she and Armin had been talking about dad. She said that they were talking about all her good memories. She said it made her feel better but it was still sad to talk about.
I’m just glad she’s doing better because even though she might have been crying this was the first time I’ve seen a genuine smile on her face since the day he died.
She came to my house tonight. She didn’t really want to be alone tonight. I couldn’t blame her I didn’t want to be alone either let alone her be alone. She told me she would go back to dads tomorrow. I just nodded along. I didn’t want to be selfish and tell her to stay with me I knew she needed to go back to the house. She still had more healing to do. My healing can wait.
Chapter 5: Checking In
The rest of the night went by fast. I couldn’t get his smile out of my head even as I sat down to grade the students' papers. His smile was bright and radiant. The way his eyes closed as he laughed how his hand came up and blocked his mouth ever so slightly. How he laughed so hard tears came to the corners of his eyes. How red his cheeks got when he realized I was taking in the details of his face.
I ended up finishing the grading it took longer than usual since I was daydreaming a lot more. I heard my phone go off and saw it was a text from Eren.
“Can’t wait for our date tomorrow night,” he had texted.
I let a smile slip onto my face knowing that he was thinking of me just as I was thinking of him. “Me either,” I texted back before hearing my phone buzz again.
“Heyyyy! You me movie night tomorrow?” Hanji had texted me. Damn that’s right her girlfriend is out of town and she’s going to be bugging me a lot more. How do I tell her I already have plans, but not tell her it’s a date?
I started typing, “I’m not feeling good and-,” I deleted that before I could send it. First off on Monday she would see there's nothing wrong with me. Secondly knowing Hanji that would make her show up at my apartment immediately. Let’s see come on think Levi you’re usually good at excuses.
I started again, “I have grading I still have to-,” nope that won't work. She knows Barely any of my students do there homework since I'm always complaining about it. Hhmm.
Third time's the charm “I can't, I have a bunch of errands I need to run and I've put them off for too long. Maybe Monday night after work?” There that should do it. Especially since it's not a lie I really do have a lot of errands I need to run I was just planning on doing some tomorrow and putting the rest off again. I clicked send and she messaged back immediately.
“Awe, okay well Monday works I'll hold you to that.” Good, no questions asked no fuss and Hanji still has no idea. I went to bed early hoping to wake up and get more errands done earlier. The more I got done tomorrow the less suspicious Hanji will be.
Mikasa and I spent the rest of the night watching comedy shows. We both needed a calm night filled with laughter. We popped some popcorn, turned off the lights, grabbed some blankets, and snuggled up. The movies were great and I’m just glad Mikasa was actually laughing again.
I texted Levi in between movies. He texted back almost instantly and my heart skipped a beat. Oh no, I’m in too deep already. Man I really have fallen for him, haven’t I?
I kept thinking about dinner tomorrow. I was the one who asked him on the date this time. I had the perfect restaurant in mind. I had to get this date right I wanted this date to lead to more dates. I had to drop the awkwardness and start actually being cool. Wait, how was I planning on doing that? I’m still trying to work out all the kinks in this plan this was a big one.
When the second movie ended Mikasa sighed and asked me to wait while she grabbed something. She came back in with her backpack and told me she was going to work while we watched the next movie.
She probably has a lot she has to catch up on. If I was good at school work I might even help her by doing some of her homework for her, but I was a C and B student in high school she’s a straight A student. I doubt she would want me anywhere near her assignments. I just told her if she needed help I would help her google the answer. I swear she laughed harder at that than any of the movies. Like damn okay, I get it.
After she finished some of her homework and we watched as many movies as we could before our eyes started to close we decided to head to bed. She stayed in my room with me tonight since her room is an absolute mess from the packing and moving.
The next morning came so quick. Especially since I woke up so early. Like why brain 6 am is not a time I would like to be awake. I couldn’t even go back to sleep. Man was I going to need a nap before my date tonight. I just slid out of bed and started on breakfast. Mikasa was usually an early riser so I knew soon enough she would be coming out of my room to join me for breakfast.
She came out of the room like 10 minutes after I finished cooking. Then again it did take me a while to cook since I haven’t used my cooking skills since I lived with dad. I used to cook for Mikasa all the time, but when I moved out I got lazy. Time to get used to cooking again I guess.
“Something smells good,” she said before coming over to the table. There were fewer bags under her eyes and she didn’t seem to have tossed and turned as much as previous nights.
“You sure it’s not burnt? I’m a little rusty,” I laughed looking at the eggs that looked a little overcooked.
“You forget I actually like my food burnt,” she laughed scooping some eggs on her plate.
“Oh yeah, you’re the weird one when it comes to food.” I can’t believe I forgot that. I mean any time I would be a little lazy and just barbecue, her hot dogs looked like charcoal. Even her toast was so burnt that it wasn’t toast anymore.
“Say what you want it’s delicious,” she scooted out the chair and ate her breakfast. “So, you’re up early,” she looked at me like something was wrong.
“What? I can’t wake up early?”
“Well, I’m just worried. How are you doing with everything? You keep asking me how I’m doing but you won’t let me ask you how you're doing?”
“Language? You curse worse than I do?” she rolled her eyes.
“I’m trying to be a good role model here.”
“Well I’m trying to help you, but you won’t let me in.” I know she meant well, but I can’t have her worrying about me not when she’s still trying to grieve.
“We all grieve differently, I just need time I don’t need to talk about it.”
“Really? Because last night you were crying in your sleep calling out for dad. That doesn’t seem fine to me.” She folded her arms like mom used to do when she knew I was lying to her.
“Look I’m not gonna lie, it hurts it really does but I can do this alone.”
“I bet you can, but you don’t have too.” The room fell silent and what she had said hit me. God, I hate when she’s right. I was doing the very thing I was trying to stop her from doing.
She got up and wrapped her arms around me. I didn’t even realize I had started crying. Well, today was off to a good start. After a long talk at breakfast, Mikasa asked if I wanted her to stay here tonight. As much as I wanted to say yes I had a date tonight.
“I’ll be okay tonight, I’m going out with this guy,” I shrugged.
“Okay, tomorrow night I’ll spend the night is that okay? We can talk more about everything then?” I had work Monday morning which was perfect since I could take her to school on my way to work.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I gave her a smile.
“Well I was going to head over to dad’s right away, but how about I help you get ready for your date?”
“Yes please,” I had no sense of fashion and my hair was always messy I needed her help to really clean up for this date, especially since I was trying to be cool rather than awkward.
“Alright let’s start with what you will wear,” we headed into my room to look through my closet for an outfit that would work for the date I had planned.
After Mikasa helped me pick out my clothes I hopped in the shower and got myself cleaned up before getting changed. When my hair dried she helped me manage it. Man, I didn’t even know my hair could look this nice. Who knew you were supposed to brush it every day and not just once a week.
I looked in the mirror and didn’t even recognize myself. Man do I clean up good. Levi will surely be impressed. After I was done looking in the mirror I made sure to thank Mikasa.
Before I took her home she asked me if she should text me and see if the date was going good or bad so she could send a bailout text. I told that I didn’t think it was necessary but better safe than sorry.
Since we were meeting at 7:00 she would text me at 7:20 to see if I needed a reason to leave. She would send a message with something urgent. I would either message back with an urgent reply if I needed it or send her a thumbs up if I didn’t. I told her that if an emergency happened while I wasn’t there to call me and that’s how I would know it’s real. God, I love my sister. She made me attractive for once, and now she’s looking out for me. Best sister ever that’s for sure.
I dropped Mikasa off at dads and told her to call if she needed anything. When I was sure she was okay and had everything she needed for the night I started heading to the restaurant a few minutes earlier than I had planned to. I wanted to stop by later tonight and check in on her, but I didn’t know how late I would be out so I made no promises to do so.
I decided to take an uber since I had used up most of my gas and didn't have time to hit a gas station. I arrived a few minutes earlier than Eren had planned, but as I was getting out of my uber I saw Eren walking up to the restaurant. At least I think that’s Eren. I walked up and sure enough, it was him. “Hey there,” I greeted walking up next to him.
“Oh hi,” he smiled. I think I scared him a little since he jumped. His voice even had that awkward tone to it. God is he always going to be awkward around me.
“You look really nice,” in more areas than one. HIs clothes matched and his hair looked brushed. His pants even hugged his ass nicely… Stop it, you’re staring.
“Thanks my- um I uh, thanks. You-uh-you look great too,” he stumbled as he spoke. I just gave him a smile as the host walked up and lead us to a table.
We sat down and I actually got to look around for a moment. This place is fancy, Eren must have put in a reservation especially with how packed this place is. He chose a great restaurant. I’ve heard a lot of good things about this place, but never actually had time to come and check it out for myself. It wasn’t the type of place where you go alone, and I definitely wasn’t going to go with Hanji and her girlfriend when they invited me. I don’t like being a third wheel especially not in public.
We started off talking about our days. I told him I ran errands all day and he told me he just spent the day at home. Next, we continued learning more about each other. We asked the questions we never got to on the first date. Some were more personal and others were silly.
“I think we both looked at the same website for questions to ask on a date,” Eren finally laughed when I asked a question he must have recognized.
“Guess so,” I laughed. “We might as well play twenty questions,” I mean it’s practically what we are doing anyway.
“But more than twenty questions.”
“Of course. You go first,” I said and I watched him think really hard to try and remember a question.
I think he ended up panicking and saying the first thing that came to mind because he asked me, “favorite color?” and then proceeded to roll his eyes at his own words.
“It’s white,” I shrugged answering the question anyway and decided to show him it wasn’t that stupid of a question by asking him for his. “What’s yours?”
“Mine? It’s blue,” he said quietly.
“Nice, well it’s your turn again.”
“You can go again, I’m having trouble remembering the questions,” he admitted with an awkward laugh.
“Okay.” Hmm, I thought for a minute. I could remember a few questions but I wanted to ask a simple one. “What’s the silliest fear you have?”
“Oh, I get scared that people can read minds. I know it’s silly but it is a fear,” he laughed.
“I knew you’d say that” I made my voice sound very suspicious before laughing.
His eyes widened for a moment with pretend fear before laughing along with me. “Oh, I got one, what is your dream job?”
“That’s a good one,” I thought for a moment. “I guess my dream job would be an author.”
“You write?” he asked me as a follow-up question.
“Here and there but I never usually have enough time to get anywhere with my writings. How about you what would be your dream job?”
“My dream job would be something to do with children. Maybe working in childcare.”
“Why don’t you apply for a job at one?” My turn for a follow-up question.
“As much as I’d love to, they don’t pay enough. I used to work at one, but I had to switch to a job that paid more when I moved out,” He shrugged.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” The tone of voice in which he said that in. He must have really loved his job. I can’t help but feel bad now. No wonder his eyes lit up when I told him I was a teacher. He genuinely thought it was a cool job and all I did was complain about it.
“Anyways, do you have any siblings?” Eren asked continuing on with the questions.
“Nope, I’m an only child,” I gave him a smile. “What about you do you have any siblings?”
“Yeah, I have a younger sister.” Oh, I didn’t expect him to say yes. He seems like one of those kids who was an only child to me, but it seems like I was wrong.
“What do you do to unwind after a long day?”
That’s a good question, “I guess normally I read but occasionally if the day was really stressful I’ll pour myself a cup of wine and call my friend and see if she’s up for a movie night, that is if she’s not already at my house,” I shrugged. I don’t think he needs to know that my best friend regularly breaks into my house because she’s insane.
“Sounds peaceful. Movie nights are always relaxing,” he smiled almost as if he was thinking of something.
“What wrong assumptions do people normally make about you?” I asked and he just laughed.
“Well, most people think I’m straight. Even my best friend who I’ve known for years thought all this time I was straight,” he could hardly get his words out before laughing again.
“Really? Because you seem pretty obviously gay to me. You did yell out in the middle of the grocery store that I was hot,” I laughed with him.
“I know right. It’s not like I try to hide it or anything. I would even talk to my friend about celebrities who I thought were hot, all dudes and he never knew,” his laugh rang out again.
Watching him laugh so happily I felt a smile spread over my face and a warm feeling in my chest. He was quite a sight. His eyes as they teared up from laughing so hard. The way his smile turned into such a joyful laugh. This time his hands instead of blocking his face remained down so I could see him and all his beauty. When he calmed down I diverted my eyes since last time he seemed to get embarrassed.
“Sorry, anyways um, are you a morning person or a night owl?” He finally asked after taking a calming breath.
“I think I’m more of a night owl. Well, that is when I don’t have to go to bed early for work in the morning. When I have days off I usually spend the nights writing or reading.” I never even thought about that till now. I guess I never realized how much stuff I got done after the sun went down.
“What about you?”
“I’m neither a morning person or a night owl. When I wake up it’s usually later in the morning unless my mind decides to wake me up outrageously early with no warning or reason. I try to go to bed at a timely hour or else I’m yawning my head off all night whether I’m tired or not,” he shrugged.
“That sounds rough.”
“I know my life is just so hard,” he said sarcastically before clearing his throat to ask another question.
“What do you think is the most important part of a friendship,” he asked and I stopped dead in my tracks. That was a deep question and it was going to take some thinking.
“Well,” I paused before figuring out what was most important to me, “I think that trust is the most important part to have in a friendship. You should be able to trust your friends with a multitude of things: your secrets, your insecurities, your mistakes, your accomplishments, etc... If you can’t trust them then are they really your friend?”
Eren just froze and a smile slowly came over his face, “that was deep, but I completely agree.”
Eren's phone went off and he apologized before pulling it out for a quick moment and sending back a quick message and putting it away. “Sorry, my sister texted me.”
“That's okay. Do you have any hobbies?”
He gave me an embarrassed smile. “Video games and comic books,” I knew he was awkward, but he’s a full blown nerd.
“Well, it’s reading,” I laughed. Even if it’s mild reading it’s still reading besides I like my fair share of comic books. “How did you meet your best friend?”
“Oh, this is a good one. I meet my friend Jean back in middle school. I tripped over his backpack and called him a dumbass and he called me a clumsy fucker and we've been friends ever since,” he laughed. “Sounds odd, but that's just how our friendship is.” He shrugged it off and laughed before asking me how I met my friend.
“Well, I've known Hanji since we were kids I can't really remember a time before her. She lived next door to me when I was growing up. She was my safe zone, still is. When things go bad I can always go to her and things just seem to magically fix. We became friends one day when we were both outside. She came out walked right up to me introduced herself and said were friends now and from that day we were. She's annoying and obnoxious but I love her to death… I'll never tell her that though.” Our food came as I was answering that question. The rest of the dinner was peaceful.
When the bill came I saw Levi pull out his wallet and I spoke up, “I was gonna pay since I invited you on this date. Besides you paid for the last date,” I laughed as I pulled out my wallet.
“Okay, there's a difference between $7 dollars for coffee and $64.” He rolled his eyes and insisted on helping.
“Fine if you want to pay for something you can pay the tip,” I said as a compromise.
“Fair enough,” he said and placed a $20 on the table. Show off 13 dollars would be a little over 20 percent.
I didn't say anything and paid the bill. As we were walking out I felt a little sad that we already had to part ways I wanted to spend more time with him. I was genuinely happy getting to know him and spending time with him made me happy it made me forget about the bad stuff happening right now and focus on the good.
I think he was thinking the same thing because he looked at me as we were walking out and told me we should do this again real soon. He had looked down at his phone and told me he had ubered here so he had to order and uber.
“Hey um, do you uh, you wanna catch a movie?” I asked nervously.
I watched as his lips twitched upwards and a smile crept onto his face. “I’d love that, on one condition. I pay.”
I rolled my eyes playfully before agreeing to his condition. “Fine, only because you're so determined,” I smiled and we walked out to my car and headed to the movies. I told him to look one up as I headed to the theater.
At the beginning of the movie, his hand reached for mine and we spent the whole movie hand in hand. It was nice even tho I hardly paid attention to the movie. I mostly focused on Levi and how when the screen lit up I could see his gorgeous face.
When the movie ended I had to face the facts it was time for us to part ways.
However, I did offer to take him home so he didn't have to uber. He happily took me up on my offer and I drove him home. When we arrived at his house before he got out I wanted so desperately to lean in and close the gaps between our lips but, I was too nervous to do so.
He must have read my mind because the next thing I know his lips are on mine. It was a small passionate goodnight kiss but even after he pulled away I could still feel his lips on mine.
“Thanks for the amazing night,” he leaned in and whispered in my ear before sliding out of the car and walking up to his door. I was still frozen in shock from the kiss.
When I finally snapped out of my trance I rolled down my window and told him “I'll text you.” It sounded so stupid how I stuttered nervously. I'll text him um obviously that was a given why did I need to roll down my window to tell that to him.
“I'll be waiting,” he said back before disappearing into the house.
I drove away and headed home all with the feeling of his lips still on mine. I can't wait to see him again.
The website I used for date questions
Chapter 7: Happy
We spent all night texting each other. We had planned out our next date on Wednesday. We were having a movie night at my house and Eren was picking up takeout. I can’t wait for Wednesday. I texted him one last time to tell him I was heading to bed which I instantly received a goodnight text back from him. I smiled as I put my phone on the charger for the night.
What is wrong with me? I’m acting so childish with all these butterflies in my stomach. Hell, I’m actually smiling since when do I do that? I’ve been on dates before, what makes this so different? Maybe because I actually like him?
“God, your such a mess, Levi get a hold of yourself.” I rolled my eyes, great now I’m talking to myself. I got my stuff ready for tomorrow and headed off to bed hoping to give my mind a break. Back to work tomorrow. Well, maybe it will get my mind off him?
Man, was I wrong. I almost couldn’t sleep because I was too excited for Wednesday. My morning started with a text from him wishing me a good morning. I’m not going to lie, it was a pleasant surprise to wake up too. I got ready quicker than normal and headed off to work.
I turned on the radio in my car and hummed along with the music. I got halfway to work before realizing I didn’t even grab coffee. I didn’t even feel like I needed it. I shrugged off the coffee and pulled into the school. I was here earlier than normal. All the more time to clean and set up my classroom for the day.
I had a special lesson planned for my English class. They had a few stressful tests coming up in not only my class but in a few different classes. I wanted to take some of the stress off their backs and give them a breather. My class today would be a study hall I had already cleared it with Erwin. I would be helping all the kids study and answering their questions even if it wasn’t in my subject. I had talked to the other teachers as they were coming in so I knew what material everyone was covering so I can help the students better.
When Kids started filing in I greeted them with a smile… strange I never show them emotion while I’m teaching. They looked at me skeptically almost as if I was testing them. I just continued on I took role. Everyone was here today. Already off to a good day.
I told the students what I had planned and they must have thought I was joking at first but when I carried on telling them they could ask me any questions they had about any material they must have started believing me. They pulled out there books and got straight to work. Even the students who normally threw the homework assignments away started studying like their life depended on it.
I spent all period helping students learn 5 different subjects. By lunchtime I would normally be exhausted from dealing with all the kids, however, that wasn’t the case. I sat at my desk and grabbed my lunch before heading to the nurse office. I never pack a lunch. Either I never have time in the morning to make one, or I’m too tired to deal with lunches anyways.
When I walked in Hanji to her room to eat lunch with her she nearly had a heart attack. “What has gotten into you? I heard you actually smiled today. You brought lunch. You even have a spring in your step! Spill,” she said with an eager face.
“I’m just in a good mood today,” I shrugged.
“Who are you and what have you done with Levi.”
“What? I can’t be happy?”
“No, you’re Levi! Besides you’re at work. You hate work.”
“I don’t hate it, I just pretend to hate it remember?” I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. “Wait a minute what do you mean because I’m Levi.”
“Yeah, and you’re not pretending anymore which scares me. And you know exactly what I meant,” she rolled her eyes. “You have a resting I hate everything face and an attitude that matches.”
“Fair enough,” I just sat down and started eating my lunch, “is it that hard to believe that I’m in a good mood?”
“Very funny.” I rolled my eyes.
“Did Neil trip down the stairs?” She asked and I nearly choked on my food.
“No, but if he did that would make my day perfect,” I laughed harder than I should have at the thought.
“Did you meet someone?” Her face lit up with joy.
I just looked up at her with my eyes mid-roll, “no Hanji I didn’t meet anyone I just am in a good mood,” I sighed. “I just slept really well and finished most of the errands I needed to do and I’m happy about that. Is that so wrong?” I asked and she stared at me trying to read through the lines. She wanted so badly for me to meet someone, but I couldn’t tell her just yet. She would want to meet him, which is a big no. She’d also want to know everything about him and I don’t even know everything about him yet.
“Fine. Just whatever you do don’t push Neil down the stairs now,” she laughed.
“Damn, but I want to. He’s such a prick.”
“I know but we can’t just go pushing assholes down the stairs, even if we really really want to. Ya know what, if he bumps his head there might be a chance he won’t remember. As long as he doesn’t remember who did it I’ll let you push him down the stairs,” she laughed and I joined her.
“Deal,” I smiled. Erwin walked in to join us for lunch before we could actually go push him down the stairs. Damn.
All day I’ve been in a pretty damn good mood and so far nothing has taken me out of it. Not even going to work was enough to dampen my mood. Jean got off at the same time as me and he asked if I wanted to get lunch as he waited for Marco to get off work.
I took him up on the offer and we got some food at a cheap dinner down the street. “So how was your date?”
“Dates,” I corrected, “I’ve been on two.” I happily sipped at my drink as he spoke up.
“Did you get some?” So much for happily sipping at my drink, instead I choked on it.
“No,” I finally said hoarsely when I stopped dying.
“Well you seemed as if you were on cloud nine all day so I just assumed you got some action,” he shrugged.
“You know you don’t have to get some to be happy. You can be happy for other reasons,” I rolled my eyes.
“I know, but not usually that happy. Unless…” his voice trailed off and he just smiled, “you really like him.”
“No, I just, I… I’ve got it bad,” I sighed, “he’s just so… amazing.”
“You’re going down a dangerous road. It’s going to be so much fun for a reckless bastard like you,” he laughed, “just don’t do anything too rash. Like I love yous are out of the question. Do not I repeat do not say that unless you want to scare him away it is way too soon for that.”
“I know that. I’m not a complete idiot unlike you.”
“Well this complete idiot actually knows how to keep a man so listen up shit head,” he said and I rolled my eyes.
“Show off,” I mumbled before listening to his tips.
“If you really like him then ask him to be your boyfriend, but don’t move to fast, but also not to slow. Wait have you even kissed him?”
“He kissed me. It was amazing.” I said with a giant smile and blush covering my face.
“Yeah, yeah, he’s amazing everything is amazing you lovestruck idiot,” he rolled his eyes.
I’ve never seen Jean this happy for something involving me. Though we were throwing insult after insult at each other he was genuinely trying to help me. Besides if he wasn’t insulting me then that's when I know something is wrong since insults are like our terms of endearment. Rather than buddy or best friend we use words like dumbass or idiot.
After lunch, he went to pick up Marco who was just getting off work and he wished me luck. He said and I quote, “hey good luck fuck face, just don’t fuck this up dumbass.” It was really nice of him he put a lot of love into that statement.
I headed to dad’s since Mikasa would be getting out of school soon. I was supposed to take her to my house because we promised to actually talk tonight. Which might be the only thing that could pull me out of this good mood. Nothing like talking about your bottled up emotions to kill a good mood.
Chapter 8: Emotions
By the time I got to dad’s Mikasa was just walking up to the house. We both went in and she grabbed some stuff to bring over. Little by little we were moving her stuff. The more we did this the more and more she was finally willing to take. I think she was starting to realize that she can’t keep everything here forever. Before we left we had gone through some more of the contents of the house. Mikasa was more open to getting rid of some things today. With time comes progress.
“Okay, I’m ready,” she said after finishing her bag to take to my house.
“You got everything, toothbrush, hairbrush, what about socks?” I asked walking in her room to help her grab some of the bags we were taking over that didn’t contain her stuff for tonight and school tomorrow.
“Yes,” she groaned and rolled her eyes.
“I was just checking no need for the attitude,” I joke as we take her stuff out to the car.
“Yeah checking for the 5th time,” she laughed.
“Okay, it’s better to be a little annoying and prepared than me being quiet and then we have to drive to the store in the middle of the night to get a toothbrush,” I raised my eyebrow with a smug grin.
“That was one time!”
“Three times actually.”
“Why did you keep count?” She groaned.
“So I could throw it back in your face,” I laughed as I loaded the stuff into my car. We got in and headed to my apartment. Mikasa hooked her music up to my car and we sang horribly along as we made our way home. Well, I sang horribly, Mikasa is actually pretty good.
We got home and collapsed on the couch. “So how was your date last night,” she asked and I felt my cheeks heat up remembering the kiss.
“It was amazing,” I said holding my tongue. I didn’t want to just start blubbering about my day unless she wanted to hear it.
“Well, are you going to tell me about it or what?” There it goes.
“Well if you insist,” I said turning towards her and pulling my legs up on the couch. “So we started off going to dinner and we had the time of our lives so much so we didn’t want to date to end there so we-.”
“Wait a minute, please know I don’t want to know about anything sexual,” she cut me off.
“It’s not, I promise,” I laughed before clearing my throat. “So we didn’t want the date to end and I asked if he wanted to catch a movie so we caught a movie. He held my hand the whole show and I swear I couldn’t focus on the movie because he’s just so great.”
“Wow so you didn’t even get a kiss,” she laughed.
“Yes, I did. I dropped him off at home, but before he got out of the car he kissed me,” I said and she gave me a smile.
“Nice,” she smiled back, “I’m glad you're more of a gentleman because anyone else would be in the bedroom rather than in a movie theater. It’s nice to show you care about a person and who they are rather than how they are in bed.”
“Did I ever tell you that you’re the best sister anyone could have?”
“Damn right I am,” she laughed.
“Anyway’s how was school?” I asked waiting to hear from her.
After she told me a little about her day. She told me how her English teacher was being really nice and let them all study rather than assigning more work. She told me about how she forgot her lunch at home this morning and then she paused before looking up at me.
“Actually, do you have any food? I’m starving.” She got up and walked over to the fridge.
“How about we go out to eat?” I asked remembering we were supposed to talk about my feelings. Anything to get out of that.
“Sure what are you thinking?” She asked and I just shrugged.
“Whatever you want I’m celebrating having a great sister,” I smiled sheepishly and she rolled her eyes.
“Okay, and when we get home just know I won’t let you procrastinate anymore,” she smiled calling me out.
“I don’t know what you’re-.”
She raised her eyebrow, “mhhmm, sure.”
We headed out anyway and got some food. I took my time eating. It was obvious to anyone that I was dragging this out, but you can only procrastinate so long. I tried so hard to drag this out as long as I could but even with Mikasa sitting there with a smug smile watching me eat my food at a snail's pace I couldn’t drag it out long enough.
When I finally finished my food we headed home. I had half a mind to make a few pit stops, but I know that wouldn’t do me much good. Besides, Mikasa had a bunch of homework she still had to catch up on and I was waiting her time to work. I finally decided to own up to my promise and I headed straight home, and I actually went the speed limit rather than 20 below it.
When we got home I got comfortable on the couch and waited for my torment to begin. The sooner we start this the sooner it ends. “Are you done procrastinating?” She asked sitting down next to me.
“Yeah, let’s get this over with,” I sighed. I don’t know why I agreed to do this in the first place.
“Well, are you going to tell me how you’ve been feeling,” She asked getting more serious. I, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to be serious. I knew I had to, but I’m bad when it comes to talking about my feelings.
“You can’t just ask that right out,” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, what should I do?” She crossed her arms waiting for me to give her a better idea.
“I don’t know?” I sighed and finally started being serious. “Honestly, I don't know what I'm feeling," I sighed. I mean the usual feelings I guess of losing someone but how do I describe that? How do I describe the other stuff too?
"Well if you don't know what you're feeling what are you thinking?" She asked. Damn, she sounds like a therapist.
"I've just been thinking how it's hard to wrap my head around it. I mean I just talked to him a little over a week ago and now… well, now I won’t be able to talk to him ever again.
“You can still talk to him, remember what you told me?” She said.
“I know, but it’s not the same. It will never be the same. I know there’s nothing I can do to bring him back and I’ve come to terms with that. What I haven’t come to terms with is how I never got to say goodbye. How our last conversation, I was in such a rush to get off the phone he said I love you and I didn’t say it back. I didn’t even say goodbye I just hung up. I can never make that right.” I silenced myself as my voice quivered and tears fell from my eyes.
This is what I didn't want. I didn’t want to just talk to her and tell her all my problems. She didn’t need this. She needed to grief she didn’t need my grief too.
“He knew you loved him,” her voice cut through my swirling thoughts. “You realize he didn’t think you hanging up was rude, I was there. You were heading into work. He turned to me after the call and told me how proud he was. He has always been so proud of you nothing changed that.”
I didn’t even think that she might have known about the call but here she was telling me stuff I didn’t even know. Wait, “He what?” I asked my voice cracking as I looked up to her.
“He is proud of you,” she repeated herself.
I just sat there not really knowing what to say. All my life I thought of myself as the disappointment. I was the black sheep of the family. I was the gay one who had no special talents. I never thought he was proud of me. He was an amazing doctor and I was a college dropout who was nothing but a receptionist. My grades were barely passing. If he should be proud of anyone it should be Mikasa. She’s been an A student since she started school. She talented in almost everything she does. I’m below average and she is just slightly below perfect.
“We both are.” I heard her say after a moment of silence. That’s when it hit me. She really looks up to me. I have no idea why she would, but for her, I have to be a good role model.
I didn’t know what to say back so I just did the only thing I could think of to express what emotion I was feeling now. I pulled her close into a giant bearhug. “I love you,” I told her placing a kiss on her forehead. “Best sister ever.”
“Best brother ever, you never forget that.” She said almost correcting me telling me this is what I was whether I believed it or not that’s what I would be to her.
Chapter 9: Movie Night
It felt like Wednesday couldn’t come soon enough, but at the same time when Wednesday came around, it came fast. I went to work and even though I felt like I was watching the clock the whole time the time still flew by.
Jean had walked out when there was an hour until my shift was over. “So you have a date tonight,” he said with a mischievous smile. “Are you planning on getting some?”
“Jean,” I rolled my eyes before looking at the empty room making sure no one had walked in as he was being unprofessional. “No, unlike you I’m planning on having a relaxing and fun date with the guy I like.”
“Sex can be fun,” he smiled.
“You know what I mean,” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want to go into a date expecting sex, especially without knowing if he wants to do it or not.”
“What I mean is, you don’t have to expect it but you can still be hopeful about it. You get what I mean?” he asked.
“I get what you're saying, but it’s just not me. I mean sex is okay, but it’s more like if it happens it happens,” I shrugged. “I’ve never been the one to hope sex comes out of anything. It’s just a bonus when it does.”
“Suit yourself, but I bet you guys have sex tonight,” he shrugged.
“I don’t know about that,” I shook my head.
“Fine you tell me tomorrow what happens, and I’ll know if your lying,” he smiled. That is true he’s always known if I was lying or not. Curse my ears getting red any time I lie.
“Fine your on,” I took him up on the bet. A customer walked in and he went back to the back room as I checked them in.
When I finished work and made sure Mikasa got home from school okay I had told her about my plans for tonight. She had stayed at dad’s house tonight. I finished grabbing some movies so we had some extra choices. After I grabbed what I needed I decided to pack some extra clothes and stuff. I had planned to go check on Mikasa tonight after my date, but if it was too late I might just stay at dad’s tonight.
After I got everything together I headed out the door to pick up the take-out food for tonight. It didn’t take long to pick up the food. I read the address Levi had texted me and started heading over.
It was actually closer than I thought it would be. When I pulled up it took me a moment to find the courage to get out of my car. Did I look okay? What if I screw this up? Before my thoughts could spiral anymore I decided it was best to take a breath and collect myself. I pulled out my phone and texted him that I was here and walked up to the door before I lost my nerve.
He opened the door and greeted me with a smile that made me forget all of my worries.
“I brought food and movies,” I said holding up the bag of take-out in one hand and the movies in the other.
“Perfect,” he said moving aside letting me in.
“I’ll grab some plates from the kitchen you can set the food down on the coffee table and pick any movie you want I have some set out too,” he said before vanishing into the kitchen.
After I set the food down I looked through all of the movies, but decided I wanted him to choose. I was too worried about picking the wrong one. What if I choose one he hated? I didn’t want him to have to sit through it because I chose it.
“So which one did you pick?” his voice cut through my thoughts as he came in and set some plates and silverware in front of us.
“Actually, I want you to choose,” I said giving him a big smile so he wouldn’t see how worried I was about choosing.
“Alright then,” he said sitting on the couch next to me. “Let’s see,” he said looking through the movies. “This is one of my favorite movies,” he said picking one of the movies I had brought.
“Really? Mine too,” I smiled. Honestly, it would have been the one I would have picked too.
He put the movie in and we got some food on our plates and settled into the couch. After a while, I was starting to realize that I wasn’t the only one worried about this date. Every 5 to 10 minutes he would ask me I was too hot or too cold. I guess he shows his nerves in different ways than I do.
After we finished eating and the first movie ended we put the plates away. He quickly cleaned the dishes and told me to pick the next movie. I panicked and picked one of his movies. I had never heard of it before but the cover looked cool. He was back in the room rather quickly and I showed him the movie I had picked and he smiled.
“You like horror movies too?” he asked and I froze.
“Yup,” I finally said with a nod. In all honesty, I did like horror movies, however, only when I could put the lights on and watch them alone in the middle of the day. I was the person who screamed, talked back, and hid under the covers. I’ve only ever watched horror movies with Jean and he laughed at me the whole time. This was going to be fun. I was so worried about fucking this up and what do you know I just did.
“That’s great because horror movies are great,” he said before putting the movie in.
We sat back down on the couch and I knew I was a goner the second the title screen popped up. This is what happens when I choose movies based on their cover art. I should have known by the title that this was horror.
The movie started and almost immediately I jumped nearly fully of the couch. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and a smile. “Are you sure you want to watch this?” he asked.
I mean it really did look like a good movie, but I scare easily. I just nodded and by the time a jumpscare hit I nearly had a heart attack.
“We can shut it off you seem really scared?” he asked again.
“I like horror movies, I just am a wuss,” I laughed awkwardly hoping that he wouldn’t laugh at me. He actually never did.
He just gave me a smile. “That’s okay, if you scoot closer to me I’ll protect you,” he said. It was kinda cheesy but man was I okay with that. I scooted closer and he wrapped his arm around me with one arm his other moved towards my hand and took mine in his. It took everything not to melt in his arms right there.
The next jumpscare didn’t scare me since apparently, he knew when it was coming. Right as the jumpscare played he placed a kiss on my cheek.
“If that happens every jump scare I don’t think I could ever be scared,” I said before realizing I said that out loud.
“Deal,” he smiled. Well saying it out loud worked in my favor I guess. He kept it up throughout the rest of the movie and by the time it finished I was wishing it didn’t end.
“I wouldn’t mind watching another horror movie,” I said and he laughed.
“I like that idea, but I have one better,” he smiled. This smile was different than his other smile. This one was devious with a sexy lip bite.
“I like your idea better,” I said my cheeks reddening and my heart beating faster. Well, when I tell Mikasa about this date I’ll be sure to leave the next activity out for sure. Not to mention Jean would totally say I told you so, but that I can worry about later.
Chapter 10: Fun in the Dark
Warning this chapter is smut.
Levi turned off the TV and the room went dark. I felt a hand take mine and lead me to a room I hadn’t been in before. Next thing I knew his lips were on mine as his hands pulled me closer to him. Our bodies up against each other as we stumbled backward our lips still together. I was worried that we were going to trip since the room was still dark however we finally bumped into the bed. He pushed me onto it and straddled my lap as his lips collided with mine once again.
My mind had started to blur I couldn’t even follow what was happening until he pulled his lips off mine. We caught our breath and he asked for permission to continue. I let out a breathy “hell yeah,” as an answer and he seemed to like it.
I felt his hand slip under my shirt. His hands warm against my skin as he slid my shirt over my head. He tossed it aside and leaned down pressing his lips to mine as his fingers traced over my chest. I felt my own hands move up his back. His lips moved to my neck and I bit my lip to keep from letting out a weird noise.
He sat up and gave me a devious smile, “you can be as noisy as you want,” he said when he noticed me biting my lip. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “scream my name,” before nipping at my earlobe. I nearly squealed right there. God, he’s so sexy.
His hands moved down towards my pants and l grabbed his hand and shook my head. “Your shirt first,” I smiled innocently and he rolled his eyes before pulling his shirt over his head and oh my god. It was dark but I could still see his abs. To make sure my eyes aren't deceiving me I reached my hand out and my fingers traced over his body. Damn, he’s hot as hell.
“Like what you see,” Levi laughed probably seeing my star-struck gaze,
“Hell yes,” I nodded before finally tearing my eyes away from his body and meeting his eyes.
He reconnected our lips and continued what he was doing. His hand going to the button on my jeans. This time I didn’t stop him, though he did ask me if it was okay before pulling my pants off and once again I said yes. It’s nice to see someone who cares a lot about consent, it’s hard to come by that nowadays.
When my pants were off Levi let out a little whistle. “You're already so hard and I barely touched you,” he bit his lip and I just gave an awkward shrug. “What do you prefer?” he asked and I froze.
“What do you mean?”
“Like top? Bottom? What do you prefer to be?” He asked again.
“Oh, I’m a vers,” I shrugged and he laughed. “What’s so funny?”
“I’m vers too,” he smiled.
“Oh, do you have any preference?”
“Not really. You?”
“Nope,” I laughed, “um rock paper scissors,” I laughed. Why do I ever suggest anything it’s usually horrible.
“Sure,” he laughed putting his hands up.
Oh god, here we go. I couldn’t keep a straight face, no pun intended, as we played a round of rock paper scissors to see who tops. I got scissors while he got a rock. “Looks like you're top,” I laughed.
He just shrugged, “as long as that’s okay with you?”
“Of course,” I smiled. Besides I’d be a liar if I hadn’t thought about throwing the game if I could.
“Alright then,” he said before going over to his drawer and pulling out some lube and condoms, “I think we're going to need these,” he said and I nodded. He set them on the bed and we continued with what we were previously doing.
Before Levi could continue undressing me I made a point of looping my fingers in his belt loops pulling him towards me. I pulled him in for a sweet and passionate kiss before whispering “Why don’t we get these off?” To which he happily obeyed.
When his pants came off I nearly choked for two reasons. Reason one, he was talking about me being hard but he was like a literal rock. Reason two, it’s fucking huge.
“Having doubts about being the bottom?” He asked probably after that choking noise I made.
“Nope if anything it’s even more convincing,” I said and he looked surprised but then covered it up with a smile.
“Good to hear,” he said and his lips landed back on mine as one of his hands made its way to my thigh. He lifted my leg and moved himself between them before his lips trailed from my lips down my neck then to my hips. I propped myself up on my elbows so I could see everything. His hands partly slid my boxers down and his eyes flicked up to mine waiting for an okay to continue. I nodded my head and he slid my boxers off all the way.
He took me in his mouth and a shiver ran down my spine as my head fell back. I bit my lip holding back any noises threatening to escape. He took more of me in his mouth and I felt my body tremble with pleasure. I got up the strength to look back at Levi and it was a big mistake.
The lewd mischievous look in his eyes as he looked up at me, the way his lips wrapped around me, how he started to hum ever so slightly after my eyes met his. I nearly came then and there. I hadn’t even noticed one of his hands reach for the lube. I only noticed when I heard him open the bottle and pour a little in his hand.
He gave me a different look that asked if it was okay to continue. Again I nodded. I had to resist the urge to beg him. He rubbed his fingers at my entrance making sure I was properly lubricated before putting a finger in. It went in easy enough, then again when I do it myself I can get 2 fingers in before I start squirming. However, I can’t get nearly as deep with the angle I’m usually at. He slid in a second finger and I found myself torn between rocking my hips to get his fingers deeper or thrusting up a little to get more of me in his mouth.
By the time he added the third finger I had let out a moan before biting my lip harder this time. This was our first time, I didn’t want to start off by begging him to fuck me, but he is going to painfully slow. The way his mouth slowly goes down on my member the way his eyes flick up to mine with that devious-son of a bitch he’s doing it on purpose.
“How long are you planning on teasing me?” I asked as a moan slipped out.
His head came up and he smiled at me, “I was wondering if you would notice,” his laughter though was brief was lovely and held a warm feeling with it.
“How would I not notice a slow torturous death,” I joked and he laughed again.
“Well, would it be alright to continue?” he asked.
“Please,” I didn’t want to beg, but I ended up doing it a little anyway.
“Oh that was a different response,” he said with a devious smile.
I rolled my eyes and he laughed again before he got serious. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “tell me what you want me to do,” he said and I couldn’t stop myself any longer.
“I want you to fuck me,” I said and I guess that was the answer he was looking for because the devious smile I got in return was so sexy.
“I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll be screaming my name,” he said and I felt a shiver run down my spine. “Does that sound good?”
“Hell yes,” I breathed out. He nodded before sliding on a condom and putting more lube on his member. My member was twitching in anticipation and when he positioned himself at my entrance.
“Ready?” he asked and I nodded.
He pushed into me and I let out a moan. He had me wrap my arms around him. One of his arms was holding him up while his other went under my leg. My leg was hooked over his arm so he could thrust deeper. He made sure I got used to the feeling and asked me if it was okay to continue before doing so.
He thrusted into me and I couldn’t hold back my moans anymore. When he went deeper my body started trembling. I held onto him tightly as I tried to rock my hips on his member to get it deeper. He took that as a sign to speed up and man was he right I was moaning his name like crazy. Not exactly screaming, but he was just beginning.
He kept up and I was getting closer and closer. The more he moved the more pleasure began taking over my mind. My eyes had closed so tight I was starting to see stars. My mind was numb from the pleasure and I couldn’t piece words together. The only word I ended up saying over and over again was “Levi.” Finally, I managed to breathe out a warning, “close.”
“You want to cum?” he asked thrusting a little deeper and I let out a whimper.
“Yes, Levi ah, please,” I moaned out. “Levi,” I came calling his name.
“Almost there,” he said and after a few more thrusts he came as well. He rolled off of me and we rode out our orgasms.
When we started to catch our breaths he pulled off the condom tied it off and tossed it into the trash.
“That was amazing,” I finally managed to find coherent words.
“Agreed,” he said rolling over and placing a kiss on my lips. “How do you feel about spending the night?” he asked.
That was an offer I couldn’t refuse, “I’d like that,” I smiled.
“Good,” he said pulling me closer to him and holding me close. I wrapped my arms around him and felt as my eyes felt heavy before my eyes closed I looked to Levi to see him already fast asleep, and that was the last thing I remember before drifting off to sleep.
Chapter 11: Back to Work
My alarm went off and I went to sat up but felt pressure and warmth around my waist. An arm? Oh, that’s right Eren stayed the night. I quickly shut off my alarm so I didn’t wake him. I laid in be for a few more minutes just looking at how adorable he looked. His hair was a mess. His lips were slightly parted. His face looked calm and his expression soft.
During the day he’s usually tenser, we both are, but it was nice to see him like this. I brushed some hair out of the way and placed a kiss on his forehead before sliding out of his arms. I have to get ready for work, but I’ll make sure to wake him for breakfast.
After I got showered and changed I started cooking breakfast. While I was cooking my mind started to wander. What were we? I mean I know we’ve been seeing each other, but we’ve never said if we were dating or not. What if I’m more invested in this than he is? Should I ask him?
“Good morning,” I was ripped from my thoughts as his arms snaked around my waist and he placed a kiss on my cheek.
“Good morning,” I said back to him. “Are you staying for breakfast,” I slightly held up the pan with eggs in it that I was working on at the moment.
He let me go and checked his phone. “Yeah I don’t have to be to work for a while,” he shrugged.
I finished cooking the eggs and put them on the table with the pancakes. “I didn’t have any bacon,” I shrugged.
“Hey this is still amazing, I’ve been living off of cups of ramen for like weeks,” he laughed.
“Living alone I got too lazy to cook, but my sister is going to be at my house a little more now so I actually have to be a good role model and start cooking healthy food again,” he sighed.
I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s true when you live alone for a while you get into some bad habits. Especially with cooking. I can cook doesn’t mean I want to. “Makes sense.”
We sat down to eat and I tried to sike myself up to ask him what we are. At the same time, I didn’t want to be that guy. The guy who always has to know where the relationship is going, if we are even in a relationship or not. I don’t want to force him to rush things to give me an answer. I like the way we are but I just want to know if he’s wasting my time or not. Stop being a little bitch and just ask him already.
“Hey um, we’re dating right?” I asked and I felt how stupid my question sounded.
His face went bright pink. “I thought we were,” he mumbled quietly. “Are we not?”
“Okay cool,” I laughed, “I thought we were too but some people- never mind,” I laughed. This should make it easier, “would you like to be my boyfriend?”
“I’d love that,” he smiled. He seemed less tense now that we cleared this up, I sure felt better too.
We finished eating and he started grabbing the stuff he bought over since we both had work. I had to leave for work in like 10 minutes whereas he had a little over an hour to get ready at his place before having to go in.
He was about to head out but I stopped him before he could. “Thanks for a fun night,” I said wrapping my arm around his waist and pulling him into a kiss. I made this kiss more passionate than our last parting kiss. He looked dazed by the time I pulled away.
“Thank you,” he mumbled still staring off into space, “ I mean I’ll text you later,” he laughed.
“That was the best date ever,” I said the second I got in my car. Before I headed home I sent Mikasa a text to make sure she was okay and checked to see if she was coming over tonight.
I got a reply while driving home and I waited until got home to check it. “Just got to school last night was pretty boring. I finished catching up on my homework so now I’m all caught up. Also, of course, I’m coming over tonight I want to hear how your date went.” She had sent. Well, I’m going to have to leave a few things out. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.
I hopped in the shower and got ready for work. The warm water felt great on my back. My back and ass were still a little sore, but it was still one hell of a night. He wasn’t wrong when he said he was going to make me scream.
I headed to work and when I arrived it looked like it would be a slow day. Not many people were scheduled during my shift so it seemed me and Jean would have a lot of free time to talk. I had to get some paperwork done, but I’m good at multitasking so I wasn’t super worried.
When he walked up to me I knew the “I told you so” was coming, but I could care less. He told me so and I’m so glad he was right.
“Soooooo?” he asked walking up with a smug smile, “how was your date?” He could probably tell by the huge smile on my face that he was right.
“Phenomenal,” I said my smile getting bigger. I didn’t think that was possible, but it was.
“You got laid, I called it,” he laughed and gave me a high five.
“Yeah yeah, I’m not even mad that you’re right it was great. My boyfriend is great,” is said hoping that he would notice the word I used.
“Hold up, boyfriend?” He said with a big smile.
“Yup, boyfriend,” I nodded.
“Well look at you, Jaeger not so single anymore,” he nudged my arm. “So how was it? How was he?” He asked leaning in for some details.
“Amazing, he practically had me screaming his name,” I bit my lip.
“You’re a bottom?”
“Vers,” I corrected.
“Ah, makes sense. Good for you dude. Sounds like you had a fun time. Anything else happen besides you two dating officially?”
“Well, I figured out just how much I actually like him,” I sighed.
“Oh, and how much is that?”
“Too much. I mean I’ve got it bad dude,” I huffed putting my head on my hands. “Like I feel like I’ve known him for a long time. It’s easy to talk to him and be around him. I feel like I don’t have to try and be something I’m not. Ya know?”
“I get what you mean,” Jean smiled and his eyes looked distant I could tell he was thinking about Marco. Any time he gets that look on his face he’s thinking about him.
That’s when it clicked for me. Why Jean was helping me out so much. Levi was my Marco. The way I was describing Levi is how Jean described Marco to me years ago. Well, not word for word, but the same feelings the same emotions. He saw how happy I was with Levi and he wanted me to keep that happiness.
“Yeah man?” He seemed to snap out of his thoughts.
“Thanks for being a good friend. Shit head,” he smiled.
“Anytime, bitch face.”
Chapter 12: No Questions Asked
I got to work and was nearly swarmed with odd looks from students and teachers alike. There whispers filling the halls. Yes I get it I’m smiling, it’s not that odd we’ve been over this. I knew I was screwed when I saw Hanji running over to me. She didn’t even talk before grabbing my arm and pulling me into the nurse’s office.
“Okay spill mister,” she glared, “you have been happy for way too many days straight and today you’re practically glowing.”
“Okay, but if I tell you, you can’t ask any more questions about it for at least a week. Promise?” I proposed a deal.
“Fine,” she huffed sitting in her chair waiting for me to speak.
“I met a guy and we’re dating, oh and last night I got laid,” I told her and her face lit up. She jumped up and was about to start asking me a million questions when I put my finger over her lips. “You promised,” I warned and she opened her mouth only to close it again. She looked conflicted. Her expression showed both happiness and anger.
She stood there in silence opening and closing her mouth probably trying to find a response that wasn’t a question. “I hate you sometimes,” she finally mumbled out.
“Same to you too,” I smiled before walking out of her office and back to my room. I had a long day ahead of me especially now that I broke Hanji.
I mean I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide it for much longer. My lies would become more and more obvious that I was hiding something. I decided to save myself all the effort and just tell her. I mean sure that’s fine now but what will happen in a week when the floodgates open? Who knows, I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.
I continued on with my classes all day until it got to the last one. Just as I thought Mikasa had pulled through her grieve and was back on track. She handed in the last bit of homework she was behind on. I’m glad to see her back on her feet. She even seems to be doing better emotionally speaking. I’ve seen her around the halls laughing with her friends and talking more. She no longer looked unkempt, rather she was back to her tidy self.
At the end of the day, I dismissed the class but asked Mikasa if she could stay back. I just wanted to check in with her to make sure she was okay. “You wanted to speak to me?” she asked quietly.
“Yes,” I cleared my throat, “I noticed you have caught up with all the work you were behind on, however, I was wondering if you needed more time on the homework that was assigned this week?” I asked.
“Nope, it will be in by Friday,” she said with a sure nod.
“I’m glad to hear. If you need anything don’t hesitate to come it me okay?” I said and she gave me a little smile.
“Thanks, Mr. Ackerman,” and with that, she left.
I headed home since Eren was supposed to pick me up after work. He was going to tell me about his date however, I’m pretty sure some other stuff happened on that date of his. He was acting really weird with his texts and when I called him during my lunch break he was acting strange. Whatever it was that happened I just know I don’t want to hear about it.
I walked up to the house and sure enough, Eren’s car was already in the driveway. I headed inside and went to talk but I notice he was sleeping on the couch. He must have gotten off a little early and just crashed. I pulled out my homework so I could finish the last two pages of work for Mr. Ackerman’s class and sat in the chair across from the couch.
I didn’t want to wake him, I know how much stress he’s been under with all that’s happened. Especially since he felt he couldn’t grieve in front of me and was doing nothing but pushing his feelings down. That alone is exhausting enough without having to deal with CPS and lawyers and all that mess. He had bags under his eyes the last few days and it seems like they were finally starting to fade away.
I’m glad he’s starting to finally relax and take care of himself. I’m also glad he finally met someone who actually seems like they give a damn about him. The last person he dated, though it was only for a week was a lying deceiving man whore. All he wanted was Eren’s money and my brother bless his soul stupidly went out with him. He has such a good heart and people take advantage of that.
That's partially the reason I want to meet this new guy. Eren isn’t always the best judge of character and I just want to make sure he’s not getting screwed over again. I want to know this guy's intents with my brother, and if he even likes him.
From what Eren told me he sounds like a good guy, however, Eren is a little blinded by his bias when it comes to the people he likes. He tends to only see the good in people. That’s usually a good thing, except when the bad far outweighs the good to the point of disaster.
I finished up my homework and put it back in my bag for tomorrow. I set it by the door with the other stuff I was bringing to Eren’s. When the rooms started getting darker and the house colder I grabbed one of the heavy blankets from my room and threw it over Eren. He hardly moved when I laid it over him. Usually, he was a semi-light sleeper, he must be really exhausted. I turned only the kitchen light on so I didn’t disturb Eren.
I grabbed a book and sat in the chair squinting to see the words with the dim light way behind me. After a little while of reading, I heard Eren start to stir and put my book down. He looked up at me lost and confused. He seemed to be in a daze as his eyes were still focusing.
“Morning” I laughed.
“What time is it?” he asked his voice a little raspy from his long nap.
I checked the time and gave him an answer, “7.”
“It’s already 7?” He asked sitting up so quickly.
“Yes Eren try and keep up,” I said sarcastically.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” he asked jumping up and grabbing his stuff to head home.
“You looked like you needed the sleep.”
“I mean the sleep was nice, but we were supposed to be at my place hours ago.”
“Your point?” I asked.
I didn’t know why he was in such a panicked rush until I saw him finally find his phone. He quickly unlocked it and started ignoring anything else. He quickly typed a message before sitting on the couch a little calmer after a message came through instantly.
“I fell asleep on him,” he finally mumbled. Not to me but just in general.
“Who your date?”
“My boyfriend, Levi” He corrected with a smile.
“Oh, you’re already dating?” I asked a little more worried. Last time he rushed into a relationship it ended badly.
“Yeah, isn’t that great?” He asked with a bright smile. Well as bright as a smile can be when you’re still trying to keep your eyes open and stop yawning.
“If you’re happy I’m happy,” I said with a big smile. Of course, I would have to check and see what is with this guy first, but for my brother’s sake, I hope he’s a good guy.
Eren can’t deal with any more heartbreak. He’s already had to deal with enough these last few weeks the last thing he needs is some jerk breaking his heart too.
“So do you want to hear about my date before we head back to my house?” he asked.
“Of course, but if you need to leave some stuff out then would be okay,” I said beforehand. I could already tell by his awkward yet grateful expression that there were some parts he needed to leave out. Well, so much for not sleeping with the guy. First off ew, but secondly I swear if this guy hurts my brother I’ll hunt him down and make him regret the day he was ever born.
Chapter 13: The L Word
After I finished telling Mikasa about my date we headed back to my apartment. When we got home I had to just stop myself from collapsing on the couch. Instead, I headed straight into the kitchen to make dinner for us. My back was still sore not only from last night's activities but from sleeping on the couch the way I did. I also had a kink in my neck now.
“Hope you’re hungry,” I said as I started to pull out some food to whip up something.
“Definitely hungry I haven’t eaten since school,” She said making her way into the kitchen. “You need any help?”
“Nope I’ve got it,” I said before thinking, “actually you can do something if you want to.
“What would that be?”
“Tell me how your day was,” I smiled. I was half falling asleep where I stood I needed her to keep me awake.
“Okay?” she seemed really confused by how I asked but she went along with it anyway. “Well, it was a pretty boring day aside from lunch. Some kids started a food fight and like 20 students got detention.” She laughed.
“You weren’t one of them right?”
“Nope, Armin was though. Only because he got hit in the face twice by Connie and finally decided to retaliate. If he would have waited just 5 more seconds he would have been fine.” She laughed.
“Anyone throw food at you?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
“Nope, they didn’t even dare look at me because they knew I would throw my whole tray back at them.” She smiled.
“We taught you well,” I laughed. “Anything else happen?”
“Well, my English teacher, Mr. Ackerman, did pull me aside after class.”
“Were you trouble?”
“No, he just wanted to see how I was doing or if I needed more time on assignments. He even told me if I needed help to go to him.”
“That’s nice of him.”
“Yeah, he’s always been really nice to students, even though most people hardly notice since he’s one of the strict teachers. He’s actually the only one who asked if I needed any extra time, or who actually gave me extra time at all,” she said. It looked like she was thinking of something.
“He sounds like a good teacher.”
“Yeah, but no one else really likes him.”
“Because he’s strict and he tries really hard, harder than most teachers, to get kids to finish their homework.”
“So you mean they hate him because he’s a good teacher?”
“Pretty much. He’s one of my favorite teachers though.” She smiled.
“Well, when’s the next parent-teacher conference? I’d like to meet him he sounds like he really cares about his students.” I asked.
“I think it’s in like a month or so,” she shrugged. “I’ll check out the calendar later.”
I finished cooking and we sat down to eat. After dinner, we sat down and watched a movie before I finally called it quits and headed to bed. My phone buzzed right as I was crawling into bed. I checked it and I was glad I did.
“Are you free tomorrow night?” Levi had asked.
I typed back a quick response. “Only if you are.”
“How would you like to have another movie night?”
“I’d love that,” I texted back. Tomorrow was Friday night. Mikasa usually stays at a friends house, and I know neither of us has work on Saturday meaning we could stay up a little longer.
I was going to tell him that I was going to bed, I really was, but then we got to talking and I didn’t want to stop. Whenever I talk to him I get butterflies in my stomach and my cheeks get red. It makes me happy to talk to him. Before I knew it two hours had gone by before I could barely keep my eyes open. I wanted to keep talking but I didn’t want to fall asleep on him.
“I’m going to head to bed, sorry but I’m really tired,” I texted.
He texted back instantly. “Okay get some rest goodnight.”
“Goodnight, I love you,” I texted back without a second thought. And set the phone down. I had half closed my eyes before realizing what I had just done. I quickly picked my phone back up and was about to text an apology when a new message came through.
“I love you too.” it read and I just stared at it and I didn’t know what to do. That just happened. I really just did that and he really just replied.
I panicked and I clicked the call button. “Hello,” Levi said with a bit of amusement in his voice.
“Did that just happen?” that question was meant to stay in my head but it popped out just like the I love you did, without a second thought.
He just laughed at first, “yeah I guess it did,” he finally said.
“I didn’t even realize I sent that. I’m sorry if that’s rushed,” I quickly said.
“It’s okay, I didn’t even realize what had happened until you called,” he laughed again. “It’s super rushed now that I think about it, but I mean maybe it’s not that bad if neither of us had to hesitate or second guess ourselves,” he said.
“I guess you’re right,” I said with a smile.
“I thought you were really tired?” He asked.
“Well now I’m wide awake,” I laughed. How could I not be after that?
“Well, I’m not busy if you want to stay up and talk?” he said and I knew I would be even more tired tomorrow but hell would this be worth it.
Another hour had passed before we hung up. After we hung up I texted Jean and told him what happened. I didn’t expect him to answer but my phone started to ring almost instantly.
“Eren what the fuck?” Jean had said right as I answered. “The one thing I told you not to do what rush the I love yous.”
“I know I know, it was an accident but hey he said it back!” I said happily.
“You’re lucky you didn’t scare him off.” He sighed.
“Yeah I know, but I’m just so happy right now,” I said with a smile. “Wait what are you doing up so late?”
“Sucking Marco’s dick,” he said it so calmly.
“Then why the fuck did you call me?” I asked rolling my eyes.
“To yell at the dumbass who says I love you in the first week of dating, now that that’s done I’m busy,” he said hanging up the phone, but not before I heard Marco let out a moan. God, he couldn’t wait until I was off the phone to continue.
I laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Well, one thing was for sure, I was no longer tired. I had all this energy now and nowhere to relieve it. Well, not nowhere. I poked my head out of the room to see if Mikasa was still up. The lights were off and her door was closed. She must have gone to bed already. Perfect. I went back in my room locked the door and grabbed my phone before typing in the search bar.
Tomorrow I’ll have to bail on Hanji, and our movie night, but she has a skype date with her girlfriend so she shouldn’t be too upset with me. I finished making the homework packets before heading to bed. I couldn’t fall asleep after realizing what Eren and I had said. I never said it that quickly before. But the thing that was bugging me was how effortlessly I said it. I’ve never said those words in any of my other relationships, but I typed it back as if I said it all the time.
It almost scared me of how easy it was to type that to him. No hesitation, no second thought about doing so, and no regretting it afterward. Though it scared me typing it so effortlessly I don’t regret it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. All the people I dated before him even after months of dating I never felt the urge to say these words too anyone, but when I said them back to Eren it just felt right.
If I was more naive I might even think that we’re soulmates however, I don’t believe in those. To cheesy.
I texted Hanji, half to torture her and half to actually just relieve some of this news. I texted her telling her what happened knowing she couldn’t ask questions back.
I watched as the read recite popped up. Next, the speech bubble popped up and disappeared at least 10 times before one message came through. “Holy shit,” she had typed back.
Holy shit indeed. I just laid there in bed waiting for sleep to come. It took longer than normal, but my thoughts never stopped swirling. Even after I fell asleep my thoughts started seeping into my dreams.
Chapter 14: The Past Still Hurts
When my alarm woke me up and I was right I was tired but so worth it. I pulled my phone out and made sure what happened last night really happened. I opened the messages to Levi and sure enough there it was. “It wasn’t a dream,” I mumbled before feeling a smile spread across my face. I really told him I loved him, and he really said it back.
I slid out of bed and got started on breakfast for Mikasa and me. She came out of her room right as I was finishing up.
“Something smells good,” she said walking into the kitchen grabbing two plates and silverware for us.
“I burnt the eggs just how you like,” I said back as I brought the food over to the table.
“You’re in a good mood,” she said looking at me suspiciously. “Your new boyfriend isn’t about to walk out of your room is he?” she rolled her eyes.
“No, but something did happen last night,” I said with a big smile.
“Oh god don’t tell me if it’s bad,” she groaned.
What did she think I could be talking- oh phone sex… “no it’s nothing bad.” I pulled my phone out and she covered her eyes.
“Eren,” she groaned.
“I promise it’s nothing bad,” I said and she rolled her eyes.
“Fine but if it’s bad I’m gonna punch you,” she said uncovering her eyes.
I opened the messages and showed her what happened. “See it’s not bad.”
She just read the messages and then looked back to me. “You guys already said you love each other?” she asked a little worried.
“I know it’s a little rushed, and I didn’t plan to say it. It just slipped out and honestly I’m surprised he said it back but I’ve never felt this happy. I love him I really do.” I sat down at the table and I didn’t know how Mikasa would react, but I didn’t expect that worried look on her face.
“It is really rushed, but if you're happy then I’m happy. I just hope this works out for you and doesn’t blow up in your face… again.” She looked genuinely worried.
“I know that I’ve been naive in the past, but I have a good judge of character-”
“No your judge of character is bais,” she cut me off, “you focus on the good in people which isn’t a bad thing usually, but you become blinded by only the good so when there is bad you can’t see it.”
“I use to do that, but not anymore. I can see past that now-.”
“Can you?” her voice cut through mine again her tone rattling in my ears.
I stood up standing my ground, “look I know that you're looking out for me, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been hurt before and I’m not as naive as you think. I can handle myself and I know that you just want to look out for me but I can tell good from bad I’m not a child anymore.”
“You say that, but I was the one who had to pick up the pieces where your past exes ripped you down. I was the one staying up all night listening to you as you cried so hard that you made yourself sick. I was the one who had to convince you to leave your first ex because he was emotionally abusive. I was the one who had to help you get back on your feet and help undo everything he did. I don’t want you to go through that again. I don’t like seeing you like that Eren.”
It all made sense now of why she was so worried about me. This happened years ago, even though it was still fresh in my mind I thought she had forgotten about it. It was about 4 years ago during my last year of high school we had started dating when we were 17. It was one of my first serious relationships. We were together for a little over a year and it was the worst year of my life. I was convinced I didn’t have a say in my life, that I was worthless and that no one could ever love me but him.
I sat back down and took a few deep breaths to clear my head. “Levi’s not like that. I know better Mikasa. I’m looking out for the signs, and the first sign of something bad I’ll be the first to call it and get out. Whenever Levi talks about me it's not to put me down or belittle me, he’s only ever talked good about me.” I took a few more deep breaths. This isn’t how I thought I would start my day. “I love him, and I’m happy with my relationship for once. The second either of those changes I’ll be sure to end it.”
I pushed my plate away from me. I wasn’t so hungry anymore, and my good mood turned sour. I know she was just looking out for me, but this conversation just brought up a whole bunch of negative emotions. “I need to get ready for work. Just be ready so I can drop you off at school.” I stood up and headed into my room. I hopped into the shower to try and clear my head before getting dressed.
The drive to Mikasa’s school was quiet and awkward. When I headed into work I was happy to see it busier than normal, but towards the end of my shift, it started to slow down which was bad for a few different reasons. One, I couldn’t just bury myself in my work and forget about everything. And two Jean-.
“Hey what’s up?” he asked walking up. Speak of the devil.
Jean is really good at telling when something was wrong. I think the only reason back when I was in the abusive relationship he didn’t know was because we weren’t as close during that time. Well, I think that’s why we weren’t close during that time. We had gotten into an argument because of my ex. My ex was super jealous and didn’t like us hanging out so I didn’t. I never told Jean the reason I stopped talking to him, and I’ve never told him that I was in an abusive relationship. Another thing Mikasa helped me do was repair my relationship with Jean and I’m glad she did.
“Hey,” I said back as normal as possible. I still really didn’t feel like talking. I could tell Jean knew something was wrong because his smile turned into a concerned frown.
“What’s wrong?” he asked and I just shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about. Hell, I couldn’t talk about it especially not at work. Talking about it earlier made me shut down and lash out a little at my sister. I didn’t mean to be so harsh but I couldn’t stand remembering everything and I just wanted her to stop.
“We can talk about it later it’s not important.”
“Did something happen between you and your boyfriend?” he asked and I froze.
It took me a minute before realizing he meant Levi, not my past boyfriend. For a second I had been thrown back to a few years ago into my abusive relationship and I had to stop myself from lashing out and defending someone who wasn’t even in my life anymore. It’s funny how one phrase can bring you right back to a point in time you thought you had long forgotten.
“No, Levi’s great, we’re great.” I sighed, “it’s something from the past that is just bugging me and I know that's stupid since it’s been years, but I can’t shake it.
“It’s not stupid,” he said quietly. “How about after work we go back to my place and talk,” he asked. I checked the time and nodded. I didn’t have to be at Levi’s for a little while and I didn’t really want to go over to his place with all these horrible feelings.
“Yeah I’d like that,” I gave him a nod.
A client walked in and he knew he had to head back to the room but before he did, he gave me a big smile and a pat on the back. He really was a good friend and I’m glad Mikasa fixed our friendship because honestly without Jean as my friend I’d be so lost.
Chapter 15: Worries
We headed back to Jean and Marco’s place after work. We took my car. Marco was working later than usual since he picked up a coworkers shift. Jean and I headed over to his place in my car. Jean had driven over with Marco and was planning on waiting up for him, but rather he shot him a text letting him know to use his spare car key.
We walked into the house and he slumped down on the couch and I joined him. “You wanna like lay down like in the movies or something?” he teased.
“Very funny,” I rolled my eyes.
“But seriously, are you okay?” his tone switched along with his questions.
“I just had a really rough morning,” I started explaining everything. What Mikasa and I were talking about, what happened in my past relationship.
“Eren you can tell me about anything, why didn’t you tell me before that you were struggling?”
“I didn’t think I was. I knew it still hurt to think about all of this, but I never thought that it would affect me this much.”
“How is it affecting you? What do you feel?” he asked and I swore he sounded like an actual therapist for a moment.
“Well, since this morning I feel like I’ve had weights shackled to my legs. It feels like gravity is 10 times heavier than normal. It hurts to think about it, or anything for that matter. My head is throbbing with too many thoughts racing inside. I just feel so tired and there's this sense of panic and dread in the back of my head. I care about Levi, hell I love him, but I’m scared.” I paused realizing what was bugging me a lot.
“What are you scared of?”
I took a deep breath to try and calm the panicked nerves coming up. “What if it happens again? What if he’s not who I think he is? What if he hurts me? What if all relationships I get in are just cursed to fail? What if-,” Jean cut me off as I started to spiral.
“Hold on a second. You haven’t notice Levi acting similar to your exes right?”
“Then what is there to worry about. I know it’s hard not to be scared, but don’t scare yourself out of being happy in a relationship now.” He said placing a hand on my shoulder.
“You’re right, but it’s just hard sometimes ya know?” I sighed. What was I thinking how could he know what I was talking about. He’s never had anything but healthy and happy relationships.
“I understand, I don’t know what you’ve been through Eren, but I do understand how it can be hard.” he paused for a minute before looking back to me, “have you talked to Levi about this?”
“No, I’m not going to talk to him about my problems especially stuff that happened in the past. He doesn’t want to hear about that. Besides, there’s nothing he can do to fix it.”
“Eren, that’s what being in a relationship is. It’s like a friendship but more. You should be able to talk to him. It’s communication and trust. It’s telling them about your problems. You don’t have to expect them to fix it, but you can expect them to listen and comfort you. I’d just talk to him, tell him what you’re worried about and explain why you’re worried.”
“What if I don’t have a reason to be worried, I just am?” I mean what reason do I have he hasn’t given me a reason to be worried. Levi’s been nothing but amazing and yet I’m still tense and nervous around him sometimes. I keep expecting the worst and he’s giving me nothing but the best. I have no reason to worry yet here I am.
“You have a reason Eren, you already told me your reason. Your reason is that you’ve been hurt before. That’s reason enough. Just talk to him if he is like how you described him I’m sure he’ll understand what you’re saying.”
“Are you sure he won’t think it’s because I’m scared of him? I don’t want him to get offended because-,”
“Eren, he’s not going to get offended.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he should understand just as easily as I did, you know how stupid I am and I understood you.” He said with a smile.
“Wow comforting me and bashing yourself, is it my birthday?” I teased back.
“There we go there's your famous smile.”
“Awe you like my smile how nice.” I rolled my eyes.
“Only because it distracts from the rest of your ugly face.”
“Ouch, nice burn it was almost as bad as your crooked ass teeth.”
“That would have been nice but I don't have crooked teeth,” he laughed.
“I know it was the first thing that came to mind,” I shrugged.
After we stopped laughing and I told him I was planning on heading out, but Jean went back to being serious for a minute. “Just promise me two things,” he finally said.
“What,” I nodded waiting for him to continue.
“First that you'll talk to Levi,” he said and I nodded. “Second you'll come to me if you need help with anything.”
“Will do,” I nodded. I think I've been trying so hard not to have to rely on people that I've been neglecting my emotions. It will be good to have someone other than Mikasa I can lean on when I start to crumble.
“Good,” he said before standing up and walking me out to my car.
I texted Levi to see if it was too early to head over to his house or not. He texted back instantly and said he just got home and that I can head over any time. So I started driving straight over there. Jean’s words echoing in my head fighting against my worries.
“I have to tell him, I just hope Jean’s right.” I pulled up and parked outside of Levi’s house and just sat there. I stared at the phone and debated about texting him that I’m here or just driving home and telling him I’m sick.
“Come on Eren don’t be a wuss.” I took a deep breath. I nearly screamed when Levi knocked on the window of my car.
I opened the door and got out. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you I was just taking out the trash and saw you just sitting in there, everything okay?”
God how long was I sitting in there just staring at my phone. “Yeah sorry I was making sure my sister didn’t text me.” I smiled and just shrugged it off and he seemed to buy it.
“Alright well let’s head in. Did you bring any movies?” He asked.
I opened the backseat of my car. “I never got to take them out,” I laughed grabbing them from the back of my car.
“Are you planning on staying the night again?” he asked with a big smile.
“Only if it’s okay with you,” I nodded.
“Of course it’s okay with me. Did you bring any extra clothes, not that you'll need them,” he rushed out the last part of his sentence but I still caught what he said.
I just let out a laugh and pulled out the bag I threw in my car this morning. “Clothes, check,” I smiled.
“Awe damn, I was kinda hoping to see you just walk around naked,” he joked.
I locked up my car and we headed into the house. “You hungry? I can whip up something.”
“Actually, can we talk about something really quick.” I watched as he got worried and tensed up. Okay cool, I’m not the only one who gets worried when someone says that. “It’s nothing really bad it’s just something that’s been bugging me lately that’s all. Is it okay to share that with you?” I asked and I watched as he relaxed a little.
“Of course you can,” he led me over to the couch and we sat down and I watched as he watched me listening intently to what I was about to say.
“So um. I guess I just, um,” I took a deep breath. “ I just um, I.” I stopped again I didn’t know what to say or how to start this.
He put his hand on my knee and leaned in to look into my eyes which had fallen to the floor. “Hey, you can tell me anything okay?” he said calmly. Right now he was the definition of patience and comforting.
“I’ve been hurt before, and I’m just worried,” I said quickly.
“Okay, tell me about it.” He said, “Tell me what you’re worried about, and if you’re okay with it you can tell me how you were hurt.”
God Jean was so right. I told Levi everything. I told him about my past relationships, especially the abusive one. He sat there and listened to me. Even when I started to ramble on about why I was worried. He only ever stopped me when I called myself stupid for being so worried.
“You aren’t stupid. You have every right to be worried, but I hope over time those worries go away. I’ll prove to you there is nothing to worry about.” he said placing his hand on my cheek.
I just stared at him for a minute as all my worries started to fall away. Not only did he just let me ramble on for over thirty minutes, he also listened to every word. He made sure I felt loved and that I didn’t beat up on myself and he actually comforted me instead of making things worse. “You just did,” I finally said quietly and leaned in placing a sweet kiss on his lips. “Thank you,” I whispered when we pulled away.
“Of course. Eren, if you are every worried I want you to be able to talk to me about these things. Never feel like you have to hide your emotions from me okay?” He said running his fingers through my hair.
“It might take a little getting used to but I’ll definitely try to get used to it,” I said giving him a smile. “You want to watch some movies now?” I asked wanting to get the attention off me for a little bit.
“Sure but how about some snacks?” he asked and I nodded.
“Snacks it is,” he said walking to the kitchen before coming back with a shit ton of junk food. “Snacks check,” he smiled.
“Holy shit that’s a lot.”
“Well, I didn’t know what to get so I got a little of everything.”
“I love you,” I said quickly and he just laughed before sitting next to me.
“I love you too babe,” he said before placing a kiss on my lips.
We watched a few movies and eventually ate some dinner. After a few more movies that we barely paid attention too, we headed into the bedroom. Our lips smashed together and our hands all over each other already ridding each other of our clothing.
Chapter 16: Top or Bottom
When we hit the bed we were left with only our boxers on. Levi was sitting on my lap grinding his hips into my growing erection. He leaned down next to my ear and whispered, “top or bottom?” before nibbling at my earlobe.
Before I could even properly think I moaned out “bottom,” god that was such a lewd moan and all he did was nibble on my ear, do I have no control? I mean not that I have any trouble giving up control to him.
“Yes, it was so good last time. Just have your way with me,” I said moving my hips so our erections rubbed up against each other causing friction between us. Well, that and I’m not nearly as experienced as a top as he seems to be. I don’t really know what to do when it comes to topping I’ve only ever done it once.
“I like the sound of that,” he said leaving kisses down the side of my neck. I could hear the smirk in his voice.
Before even going anywhere near my boxers he made sure to ask me if it was okay to continue and he even apologized for not asking sooner.
“God I love you,” I said with a nod before pulling him into a kiss. I felt his lips smile against mine. Despite the passion between us his kisses were gentle and his lips soft.
I melted into his touch. He moved down to my neck again but this time he didn't stop there. He trailed down to where his hands were sliding my boxers down ever so gracefully.
“Wait” I felt myself say after he pulled my boxers off. He immediately stopped what he was doing.
“Its okay if you want to stop-” he started to say and I cut him off.
“No not that,” I smiled, “ I was just thinking maybe this time I can give you a blow job?”
His eyes widened a little, “oh” he said a little caught off guard before a smile slipped onto his face. "Only if you want to.”
“I will give you a disclaimer, I'm probably not as good as you,” I shrugged.
“That's fine,” he rolled his eyes “you really think I care about that? I'm just happy to be with you,” his hand came up and his fingers ran through my hair before he pulled me into another gentle kiss.
We got into a more comfortable position. Levi was sitting up while I was laying next to him. Normally I'd lay the other way but he insisted that I lay this way so he can start prepping me. Just the thought made me grind my hips. God, I'm too horny for this.
I pulled his boxers down and immediately regretted my decision. I forgot how big he was, there’s no way I can blow him I might choke to death. “You don’t have to,” he laughed seeing the shocked look on my face.
“No, I want to I just forgot how huge you were,” I said taking a few breaths before finally leaning my head down and licking down his member. I made my way back up to the head before finally taking him in my mouth. He was pretty big, but I could still breath through my nose, well at least at the beginning. I took more of him going deeper and the farther I went down at him the harder it was to breathe, but I made it work.
I was pretty much trying to focus on what I was doing. I heard Levi said, “I don’t know what you were talking about you’re pretty good at this,” he said in a very breathy voice. I didn’t see what he was doing, I didn’t even hear him grab the lube or pore it into his hand. I only realized when his fingers were rubbing at my entrance. “Is it okay to continue? He asked making sure I heard him.
I gave him a hum of approval and that seemed to send a chill up his spine. I hit some sort of nerve. His head went back and as hard as he seemed to try holding back his voice a moan seemed to slip out. When he managed to compose himself I felt one of his fingers slide in and decided that if humming the first time worked so well maybe doing it again would be a good idea.
I felt him shudder and his hand twitched as he tried to keep himself together. “Fuck babe,” he moaned he picked his head back up and added in a second finger and this time the noise I made was a genuine moan. Levi threw his head back and I kept at it bobbing and taking him in and he kept working his fingers.
A minute later Levi started shaking his head, “Eren, are you ready?” he asked sounding more desperate than seductive. Was I really that good at this? Or was I just horrible and he was just tired of it? I just gave him hum and he bit his lip as he threw his head back and his head shot up to my head as he gripped at my hair a little.
Once I stopped with the hum Levi recomposed himself almost looking a little embarrassed about how he reacted. I pulled my head up and gave him a seductive smile, or at least my best attempt at it. “You sure you want me to stop?”
“If you don’t I might lose it,” he said with a smile, “you’re really good at it.” I didn’t think I’d believe him but after seeing him react how he did I started feeling a little more confident in how I give blow jobs.
“Ready?” I asked remembering what we were doing.
“Of course,” he said clearing his throat and I just couldn’t help but laugh. His cheeks had gone red and he still looked a little embarrassed.
We sat up and repositioned ourselves. I took a little more of the lead this time and laid Levi back on the bed. I rolled the condom on him before I straddled his lap. I looked up at him making sure he was ready. He gave me a nod and I lowered myself onto his member.
“I like this side of you.” he said in a breathy voice leaning next to my ear to whisper, “you’re hot when you take control,” before nipping at it.
“Glad you think so,” I breathed back before lowering myself a little more. I was still getting used to his length, but damn did this feel so good. I think I might be a bit of a man whore. Why did that pop into my head? Maybe because just thinking of his dick last night made me hard? Doesn’t matter focus Eren.
I got myself out of my thoughts focusing back on Levi’s face as I started to bounce a little. His eyes were closed and his teeth caught his lip. He looked like he was holding himself back, from what I don’t know. I started to grind my hips a little and I watched as his eyes tightened and his head fell back a little.
I realized how slow I was going. Oh God, I must be torturing him, then again, he looks so hot right now. God, I can’t help it. I keep it up going at a painfully slow pace to even the point I’m starting to get frustrated at myself, but it was all worthing it that was until Levi opened his eyes in realization.
“Oh my god you’re doing this on purpose,” he finally said rolling his eyes and shaking his head at me with a frustrated smile. “You little shit you were purposely driving me crazy,” he laughed a little.
“You looked so cute,” I teased.
“Mhm,” he hummed before his hands found their way to my hips pulling me down on his member as he started to take a little more control probably since I can’t be trusted with it at the moment. Not like I minded all that much I want him to have his way with me. “Make me scream your name baby.” Oh God, where did that come from? Well, don’t know don’t care. It looked like he really liked that idea good cause I liked it too.
His hands stayed on my hips guiding me up and down as I bounced on his member. He would grind his hips into mine it got to the point where my legs felt like jello.
“Levi I can’t,” I said out of breath. My legs were giving out and hell they’d be sore tomorrow, but it would be so worth it. He heard me and immediately moved us to a different position. He flipped me on my back and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he started thrusting faster than our pace before. My arms wrapped underneath his arms and gripped at his shoulders.
I ended up digging my nails into Levi’s back without thinking and I almost let out a string of apologies but when he let out a low moan I realized he didn’t mind in the slightest. He even gave me an encouraging smile. I continued on gripping at his shoulders and I was sure I was scratching up his back but he seemed to enjoy it.
My head had gotten so foggy I couldn’t put together a thought I managed to just say his name over and over again. “Levi, Levi, Levi,” I said over and over again. God if his neighbors didn’t know his name they do now. I know he said his neighbors were too far to hear me if I did scream, but after hearing myself I’m not so sure.
I was forgetting something. I felt like there was something I was supposed to say, but I just couldn’t think of it. “Close,” he whispered in my ear. That was the word I was forgetting. Glad he remembered it because my mind was mush. I just nodded in agreement unable to do anything else.
I ended up coming not even a minute later. He lasted another minute and I grind my hips into his as the feeling of pleasure overwhelmed me. When we both finished we laid back exhausted. Levi pulled off the condom and threw it into the trash can.
“Sorry about your back,” I finally said after I could form thoughts again.
“Sorry about the hickey,” he said and I was shocked I didn’t even feel him leave it that’s how much I was feeling everything else.
“Where?” I asked. He poked the sore spot on my neck. “God that’s hot. Shit, my friend, is gunna call me out on it,” I groaned knowing Jean would have some shit to say. Oh God, Mikasa. Fuck. I know she’ll be able to see it. “Oh well, worth it,” I laughed. “I wouldn’t mind if you gave me a few more,” I said since these I would actually be able to enjoy.
“Gladly,” he said with a smile.
“Just make sure these are a bit lower,” I laughed.
“How low?” he asked in a seductive voice.
“As low as you like.”
Chapter 17: Intruder
We went to bed a little after completely exhausted. I wrapped my arms around Eren and pulled him close. I hate how attached to him I’ve become. Yesterday when I went to bed I couldn’t sleep because I kept feeling like something was missing. I only realized what I needed so desperately after I pulled a pillow closer to myself and thought about how much I wished it were him.
I had a hard time falling asleep, but last night I didn’t struggle at all. My eyes closed and that was that. When I woke up this morning and he was still lying there in my arms I couldn’t help but place a small kiss on his head and pull him closer. I didn’t want to get up and leave him I just wanted to stay there with him in my arms. So that’s exactly what I did. Besides, it’s not like I have any plans today. I told Hanji I was feeling a little under the weather and that I needed to sleep it off.
Sure she already knew that I was seeing someone, but I didn’t want to give her more fuel for her questions later. That and I also didn’t want her to know I was canceling our day to hang out with my boyfriend since she never usually cancels for her girlfriend unless a birthday or holiday comes up. Yesterday I totally broke that unspoken rule.
“Good morning,” he said looking up at me. I must have been too deep in my thoughts that I didn’t notice him wake up.
“Morning babe,” I said before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the lips.
He just smiled and laid his head on my chest wrapping his leg around one of mine. “I could just stay here forever with you,” he whispered. I could tell he was still a little out of it from sleep.
“And I’d let you,” I gave him a smiled. My smile quickly disappeared when I heard the front door open.
“What was that?” okay so I didn’t imagine it Eren heard it too. Someone’s in my house. Fuck and were both still naked.
I just wrapped my arms around Eren and pulled him into my chest as I heard the footsteps getting closer to my room. Think, think, think. I looked at my dresser for something I could use to defend us. That’s when I remember the bat I keep just below my bed.
I quickly leaned down slid out of the bed as I whispered to Eren, “stay behind me.” Well, fighting this guy naked isn’t ideal but I doubt he’ll wait for me to put some clothes on. The door started creaking open before someone came in. I was about to swing but stopped halfway through.
“Oh damn nice dick Levi,” she said giving me a playful wink.
“Hanji what the fuck are you doing here,” I rolled my eyes before grabbing some sweats from my closet and throwing them on quickly.
“Well you said you were sick so I thought I would check on you and bring you some medicine and tissues,” she said before letting out a big smile, “but I see that this won’t be necessary.”
“I need to change my damn locks,” I rolled my eyes plopping back on the bed and apologizing to Eren.
Eren seemed shocked and a little awkward and- oh my god he’s still naked too. Well, at least he was under the covers instead of standing up for all to see. God she’s never going to let me live this down.
“So can our no questions about this,” she motioned to me and Eren, “deal end?” she asked with an innocent smile and puppy dog eyes.
“Fine but can you at least let up put some clothes on Hanji?” I gave in. I knew there would be no way to get her out of my room without agreeing.
“Okay, I’ll be in the living room,” she said skipping away closing the door behind her.
I turned to Eren with an apologetic smile, “that right there is the lunatic I call my best friend. I am so so sorry.”
“It’s alright,” he laughed. He was a little less tense.
“Well, looks like I’m going to have to make introductions and answer a bunch of annoying and intrusive questions.” I couldn’t help but groan just thinking about it.
“Well, let’s not keep her waiting,” he said getting up and heading over to the small bag of clothes he had packed.
“Afterwards I’m kicking her out and we can go back to cuddling,” I said and Eren happily agreed. We finished getting dressed and headed out to the front room where Hanji had made herself comfortable with her feet on my damn coffee table.
I walked over and sat down on the other couch and Eren sat next to me. “Eren, Hanji, Hanji, Eren,” I introduced them a little more properly.
“Hi nice to meet you,” she said shaking his hand.
“I hope your ready for the shit storm that’s about to come down on us,” mumbled to Eren. He looked confused, but before he could as what I met it had started.
“So Eren, how old are you? Where do you work? How long have you been seeing Levi? Did you guys do it, of course, you guys did it you were both naked? Again, Levi, you have a nice dick,” she winked at me before she kept rambling. “Was last night your guys’ first time? Also, those scratches down Levi’s back were nice.” “Have you-.”
“Hanji breath,” I finally cut her off. “One question at a time or we’ll never answer them all.
“Fine, fine, Eren how old are you?” She said going back to her first question.
“I’m 21,” Eren answered. He seemed a little nervous so I just wrapped my arm around his waist. It seemed to help a little he wasn’t as tense anymore.
“Oh, well maybe when my girlfriend comes back we can all go out for drinks,” she said happily.
“Why don’t we focus on today.” I rolled my eyes she was always one to jump ahead and make plans. “Next.”
She continued on with her questions some of them getting way to personal. Like when she asked Eren if his dick was as pretty as mine. Good God, I’m surprised Eren didn’t dump me on the spot. Rather he just laughed and told her he hoped so before turning to me and saying but nothing can beat his. Damn, when did this fucker get so smooth?
Eventually, Hanji surprisingly ran out of questions and I kicked her ass out. Then again it wasn’t so much of me kicking her out of her saying she should leave so we can get back to it with a wink. God, why was I friends with her again?
“Well, that was interesting,” Eren said as soon as the door closed.
“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say besides apologize for Hanji’s shenanigans.
“It’s okay honestly my friend probably would have done the same thing… well, not the same thing. He wouldn’t have broken into my house and probably wouldn’t have walked in on us naked in bed.” He shrugged.
“Again I’m so sorry,” I said and Eren just laughed and shrugged it off.
“Can we go back to cuddling now?” He asked wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I’d love that, besides my shirt keeps rubbing up against my back and I’m not gonna lie it hurts, but in a good way.” I laughed before tugging it off letting the scratches on my back free from the irritation of the fabric.
We headed back to my bedroom climbing under the covers and cuddling up next to each other.
Chapter 18: Painful Text
I didn’t want to go home, but I knew Mikasa would be coming over tonight. Levi and I had spent the day together just lounging around the house. I found out that we are both really cuddly people. We laid in the bed for another hour after Levi’s friend left.
Speaking of I still can’t get over that it was hilarious and awkward. She seems like a nice person, but I wish I could have met her under different circumstances.
Afterward, we made some food. I helped him cook and we sat down for a peaceful brunch. After we ate we just chilled on the couch and talked cuddled up against each other. I got a text from Mikasa she was just getting back from her friend's house and was heading back to dad’s. However, she asked if she could come over to my house. I could tell by the way she was texting she felt bad about yesterday and how our discussion went.
I let out a sigh and told Levi I had to head home. His arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me closer to him. He rested his chin on my shoulder before placing kisses on my neck. “So soon?” he asked and I could hear the pout in his voice.
“I’m sorry hun, but I have to pick up my sister,” I said as he started to kiss at my neck.
HIs lips were so soft on my skin and I even leaned my head over so he could continue. Right as I was really starting to feel it he stopped. “Well, I mean if you have to.”
“That was cruel,” I said with a pout.
“I know but I couldn’t help it,” he laughed. “To be continued next time,” he said before we got up. He helped me grab my stuff and walked me out to the car.
“Next time we should meet at your place.”
I thought about it for a minute and just nodded. “I’ll just have to make sure my sister isn’t over. If she goes over to her friend's house tomorrow then we can try then?” I suggested. I would just have to make sure Levi’s gone before she comes back. I don’t want her to meet him yet since she seems a little bias towards him already. She seems to think that all my relationships are going to end horribly.
“Well, I’m definitely free tomorrow as long as I’m back by latest 9 so I can finish grading papers.” He shrugged.
“Alright, I’ll try and convince her to go to a friend's tomorrow,” I said before leaning in and giving him a peck on the lips. The kiss quickly turned passionate before we finally pulled away.
“To be continued,” he smiled and I couldn’t help but wish I could stay with him tonight. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I couldn’t stay.
“To be continued,” I smiled back.
I watched as he got back to his door before driving away. “Tomorrow,” I whispered with a smile. I’ve got it bad it’s only been 5 minutes but I already miss him.
I made it to my dad's house and Mikasa hadn’t even bothered to go inside. She was sitting on the porch waiting for me since I told her I’d be right over. I pulled up and she jumped in my car.
“You didn't go in today?” I asked as I started driving away.
“No, it’s getting harder and harder to go in there,” she sighed. I didn’t push any further. I knew what she meant. It was weird being there and not seeing dad in his chair or anything that was a tell-tale sign that he was home. The house was getting emptier and emptier and it was harder to be there.
“I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to bring all of that back up,” I heard her mumbled. She looked so upset.
“Hey it’s fine, I know you were trying to look out for me.”
“I just want you to be happy,” she whispered.
“I am happy,” I said back. “Because of you. Since you made me break up with him things have improved. You helped me come back from one of my lowest points and because of you, I am actually happy in a relationship. I have a friend who will always have my back because you helped me make up with him. You are the reason I’m happy.” I watched as her worry and sadness changed into a smile.
“Thanks, Eren,” she said, “you always know what to say.”
“That’s because I’m the best brother ever?” I asked repeating what she said the other day as I raised an eyebrow and gave her a cheeky smile.
“Yes, because you’re the best brother ever,” she laughed. We pulled up to my house. I heard my phone buzz. It’s probably just Levi I’ll check it after I get Mikasa fed.
I cooked up some food and we sat down at the table. Halfway through eating, I remembered the text message. “Oh shit,” I said before getting up to grab my phone.
“Levi texted me and I totally forgot to answer,” I told her before getting to my phone.
“Well what did he say?” she asked walking over to me.
I couldn’t hear anything else she had begun to say. Everything started to swirl I stared at my phone the color draining from my face. I froze in place from the fear just staring at my screen.
“Eren what did he say?” she asked again shaking my shoulder with a new concerned look on her face.
I just shook my head quickly before handing her the phone. I couldn’t deal with this not again. My feet started walking by themselves I couldn’t think straight. I sat down in the corner of my room between the wall and my bed. I tucked my knees up to my chest pulling a pillow off the bed and squeezing it tight.
Mikasa came in a moment later and just sat next to me. She still had my phone in her hand but she had got out of messages and into contacts. “Call Jean, he can help,” she suggested quietly.
I just needed a minute. To calm down. To think. To forget. That message scared me. I can’t go through this again. The games, the abuse, the pain.
“Eren, breath,” I heard Mikasa’s voice cut through. “It’s going to be okay.” It was getting harder and harder to hear her through my spiraling thoughts. I could barely hear her as she brought the phone up to her ear and started talking to someone. It was my phone, but I didn’t know and didn't care at the moment who she was talking to.
After she got off the phone she just scooted closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. She only left the room once and that was 10 minutes later. When I thought I heard her footsteps coming back I was met with Jean standing in my bedroom doorway.
“Can I come in?” he asked and I gave him a quick little nod. He walked in and sat next to me where Mikasa was sitting. “You want to tell me what happened?” he asked keeping his voice low and calm.
I just nodded but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. I just sat there with my mouth opening and closing like a goddamn fish.
“Hey, it’s okay, if you can’t talk about it just yet I can wait.” He said placing a hand on my back. I just nodded and sat there. It felt better to be next to him knowing that I can talk to him about this now. I just leaned my head over on his shoulder and took my time breathing. Eventually, I was able to calm down even if I did still feel like I was going to vomit.
“Okay,” I mumbled picking my head up giving him a nod.
“Okay, so what happened? Mikasa said something about a text message and Levi. Did he say something?” Jean said holding my phone out for me. Mikasa must have given it to him.
“No. Not Levi. I thought Levi messaged me, but you know how I told you about that ex I had. He was the one that messaged me.”
“I thought you blocked his number?”
“I did, this was a different number.” I motioned to my phone and he opened it.
He read the message that I read earlier. It said, “Eren, it’s been a long time. I hope you’ve had some time to think and clear your head. I’m going to be nice and take you back even though you’ve been such a dick to me. I hope you realize that I’m the only one who will ever love you. I know the only reason you haven’t come crawling back to me is that bratty little sister of yours. I’m going to swing by when I get off work tonight.”
“He’s coming here?” Jean asked worriedly.
“No, he doesn’t know where I live. He’s probably talking about dad’s house since I still lived there at the time. I don’t want to go back there now.”
“Next time you go let me know and I’ll come with you,” he said quickly. “I’ll be damned if I let this jackass hurt you a second time.”
“Thanks, Jean,” I said and he gave me a hug.
“I’m going to tell Mikasa to call me if she needs to go back to the house to call us first.”
“Good idea. I’m kinda glad we’re selling that house now,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, once it’s sold he won’t be able to get to you. Just know that I’ll be here for you. Whenever you need me. Okay?”
“Okay, thank you,” He made sure I was okay mentally before heading back home. Afterward, he left I made it clear to Mikasa that it wasn’t Levi who texted. She said she knew she was just too overwhelmed with everything to explain things coherently to Jean so it came out all jumbled.
I debated about blocking the number but ended up saving it to my contacts instead so I could get a heads up if he ever did find me. The contact name was saved as Jackass so I knew exactly who it was. I wish I could just block the number but I was way too paranoid to do so.
Maybe if I told Levi about it he could text wrong number. I know the second I send that I’d get a phone call. If Levi answered it then maybe he would actually believe it was the wrong number. I just know I have to change my number and soon.
Chapter 19: Wrong Number
Mikasa and I spent the night playing board games while putting on some comedies as background noise. It made for a good distraction and helped clear my head from the previous events of the evening.
A little while later we turned in but not before I convinced her to go to a friends house tomorrow. Well, it was less convincing and more asking if she was planning on hanging out with a friend. Apparently, she already had plans so it was easy.
I text Levi before bed telling him we were on for tomorrow if he was still able to. I also told him that I wanted to talk to him about something that happened. I had to convince the conversation wouldn't be anything horrible since he was worrying he did something wrong. I didn't want to panic him and honestly, I'm too emotionally drained to talk about it tonight.
I put my phone on the charge and silenced the ringer. If Jackass did text me again then I don't want to know. Not tonight I'll deal with everything tomorrow. I laid down and went right to sleep I must have been more exhausted than I thought.
When I opened my eyes in the morning I woke up to see Mikasa sleeping next to me. She must have snuck in during the night. She would always do this back when I lived with dad. If she or I would have a rough day she would come in my room and sleep in there and honestly it always made me feel better. I guess she thought what happened last night would affect me more than it did. Honestly, I thought it would too but I guess not.
I checked my phone and saw two messages one from Levi and one from Jackass. I only checked Levi's since I didn't really care what Jackass had to say.
Levi's message said that” morning babe I'm ready to come over whenever you're ready. I can't wait to see you.”
I texted back telling him I'd call him when I get back from taking Mikasa to her friend's house before I got up and made breakfast for us. I finished cooking before waking her. We ate and I took her over to her Armin's house and called Levi. I'm hoping she didn’t notice how I was slightly rushing her but I don’t think she really cared too much if she did.
It didn't take long for Levi to make his way over. I buzzed him into the building and when he came to my door I suddenly felt nervous about everything. Was my house clean enough? What if he thinks I'm messy? What if-.”
“I love your place,” his voice cut through my worried thoughts. His voice was genuine. His eyes scanned the room and a smile crept over his face.
“Sorry about the mess my sister is moving in with me,” I said trying to explain why there were a few boxes laying around.
“Oh, I knew she was staying with you but you never told me she was moving in?” He said a little confused.
“Long story,” I sighed “ but then again I've got an even longer one that I wanted to bring up,” I sighed and I saw him nod.
“You said you wanted to talk about something?” He said remembering.
I just nodded and pulled my phone out and pointed to the context labeled Jackass. “That ex that I was talking about well, that's him.” I pointed at the texts before handing it to him. Levi read through them and I read the new text over his shoulder.
It had read, “What the hell Eren. Your neighbors said you moved and the house is getting sold? What the fuck is wrong with you. I give you time to realize how ridiculous you're being and this is how you act. By moving out without telling me. You're not even responding back to me. You really haven’t come to your senses. You need to get it through your thick skull I'm the only one who's ever going to love you. You don't know how generous I'm being trying to take you back after the shit you pulled. For once in your life don't be an idiot Eren.”
I heard Levi let out a frustrated sigh. Before clicking my phone off. He turned to me pulled me close and pulled me into a passionate kiss. When he pulled away he just pressed our foreheads together before whispering, “Never believe a word that dick says. You are an amazing and brilliant person. You are the one too good for him. Just know I love you and I will never take your love for granted.”
“I love you so much,” I said wrapping my arms around Levi. I felt tears come to my eyes. I've never had anyone tell me that.
“All that being said I'd be happy to kick this guy's ass if you want.”
“No, actually I was just wondering if you could answer the phone? I know when I text him saying it was the wrong number he's going to call. I just need you to tell him that this isn't my phone number anymore.”
“I can do that.” He nodded as I sent the text. I handed him the phone and sure enough, it started to ring. He put it on speaker and sure enough his voice came through the phone.
“Eren why do you keep playing these games I know it's you.” He sounded aggravated. This was the tone I had always dreaded when we were together it always meant a fight that ended with me feeling worthless.
“Look I told you, you have the wrong number. But I'm gonna say one thing I don't know who this Eren person is but I'm glad you don't have his number anymore you sound like such an asshole. And you know what? Did you ever think there is a reason he changed his number? It was probably to get away from you I know I would. Now please leave me the hell alone.” Levi said before hanging up the phone.
“Sorry I couldn't help but get a little angry,” he said and it was my turn to pull him into a kiss. He stood up for me where I couldn't and I am so glad this is the man that I ended up with after that horrible situation.
We lounged around the house for a few hours doing nothing but talking. I guess he could tell I was still a little distracted about earlier. He kept whispering in my ear about how much he loved me and how lucky he was to have me. It was the first time someone's told me that. Today was the first time I actually felt like I mattered.
It was this moment I could actually picture a future with Levi. I was never able to see a future with anyone I’ve ever dated until now. I can actually see myself ending up with Levi. I can see still happily together years from now. I never thought I’d be the marrying type, but if Levi wanted to get married in the future then I can actually see myself saying yes. That was never a thought I would ever see myself thinking but I just did. Wow, Eren slow your roll there. That isn’t going to happen. Well, at least not for a long while.
I shook my head and focused back to Levi who was just smiling at me with an eyebrow raised as his hand lightly caressed my cheek. “You checked out for a minute there,” he laughed. “What were you thinking about?”
“How I’m so lucky to be with you.” Nice save very smooth. See I can be romantic.
“Well, then we're thinking the same thing about each other. Maybe we’re connected, or at least we could be in a few minutes,” he said giving me a wink.
Damn not as smooth as that. I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. There was no way I could ever be as smooth as Levi. “Um, uh, my room?” I said with a big smile. I can’t be super smooth but I can take him up on his offer.
“Let’s go,” he said with a smile before letting me lead him into the bedroom.
Chapter 20: Switching It Up
Eren tops. If you don't like it, oh well, there is more story after the smut.
We made it into my room and I pushed him down on the bed with our lips connected. I grabbed the lube and condoms out of a drawer when we pulled away to catch our breath. Levi had leaned over to my ear and whispered. “I want you to fuck me,” he said in a breathy voice before nipping at my ear. My cheeks exploded with red.
“Uh o-okay if you want,” I said with an awkward smile. “I’ve never done it before so I don’t know how good I’ll be at it.”
“You’ve never topped before?” He asked looking at me not with judgment but just with genuine curiosity.
“No,” my eyes looked away from his as I started to feel embarrassed.
“Hey,” he said his hands caressing my cheek guiding my eyes back to his, “that’s okay. If you get stuck I’ll help you out.”
“Thanks, babe,” I said kissing his hand that was on my cheek. I sort of knew what I was doing all I had to do was remember what Levi did to me. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to ask him what to do and that I could just keep the mood going. I mean could you imagine me having to stop in the middle to ask what the hell I’m supposed to do? What a mood killer.
I leaned back in to kiss him but I pulled away and moved down to his neck. I moved behind him so that he was sitting in my lap. His hand moving up to my hair as he caught his lip between his teeth. I think I just found one of his sweet spots.
I continued on with what I was doing whispering in his ear asking if it was fine to go further and he nodded. I went back to kissing his neck while my hand slid down his pants and rubbed at his semi-hard member.
His head fell back on my shoulder and his hips grind against mine as he tried to get me to pick up the pace. “Eren,” he breathed. The tone of his voice mixed with his hips grinding against me, and his hand lightly tugging at my hair was enough to get me hard.
I pulled my hand out of his pants and started to slide them down along with his underwear. He kicked them off and straddled my lap connecting out lips. I wrapped one arm around the small of his back while my other grabbed the lube. I popped the lid open an put some on my fingers.
I knew how to prep someone I fingered myself before I just have to figure out what parts feel good for Levi since they might be different than what feels good for me. I asked him if it was okay to proceed and he nodded. He pressed his lips back to mine as I started pushing a finger in. He seemed to adjust rather quickly. I slid in a second finger and he quickly adjusted again.
I pulled away and whispered in his ear. “You must do this a lot?” I asked.
“Yup, especially since I started dating you. Do you know how many times I’ve done it and wished it was you instead?” he said and I couldn’t stop myself from blushing.
“Well, I hope I don’t disappoint,” I gave a nervous laugh.
“Impossible, because it’s you,” he said before placing a kiss on my forehead.
I slid in a third finger and this time it took him a little longer to adjust. He let out a moan as he started rocking against my fingers to get them deeper. “Eren, more,” he moaned and I knew that meant he was saying he was ready.
I pulled my fingers out, rolled on a condom, and positioned myself at his entrance. “Ready babe?”
“Of course,” he purred and I slowly pulled his hips down sliding it in. He bit his lip and rolled his head back as he got used to it. “You're huge,” he moaned.
The more he got used to it the more he took in until he started bouncing a little grinding his hips. “Damn,” I said watching him holding back my moans. It was obvious that he was experienced as a bottom too, which meant I was screwed as a beginner top.
I began feeling his rhythm and moving against it so when his hips came down I thrusted up. “You feel so good babe,” he let out a moan leaning his head forward laying his forehead on my shoulder. My hand went down to where his member was as I stroked it his head lifted back up and threw his head back. “Fuck babe,” he purred.
“You like that?” I whispered back.
“Fuck yes. Harder babe.”
I gripped at his hips and pushed him further down on my member thrusting up a little harder than before and I watched as he practically melted.
“Ah Eren yes,” he moaned out he placed one of his hands on my shoulder the other wrapped around the back of my head while his hand ripped at my hair. He leaned down and placed a very passionate kiss on my lips.
When he pulled away he threw his head back, “Eren I can’t, need to switch positions” he said and I quickly flipped us around. I laid him back on the bed and moved my arm under one of his legs while using the other arm to hold me up.
I pushed in deeper and his arms quickly wrapped around my back his hands on my shoulders. “Time to get payback for what I did to your back?” I asked between pants.
“Definitely,” he winked.
I leaned down and placed a kiss on his lips and sure enough when I picked up my pace his nails dug into my back. I’m not going to lie it felt amazing. I didn’t know if I’d like the feeling since I’ve never been good with pain but man it nearly threw me over the edge. Will I be paying for it later. Definitely, but it will be so worth it.
“I thought you said you’ve never done this before?” he asked between moans.
“I had a good teacher,” I smiled back at him.
“I’m close,” he mumbled out. Thank god because I thought I was the only one. I didn’t want to come before him.
“Me too,” I mumbled through my breathing.
I picked up the pace feeling myself getting sloppier. “Eren ah!” he cried out and dug his nails into my back really hard. I felt him tighten around me and I was done for. I came almost instantly after that. We laid back and took a minute to breathe. I slid off the condom and threw it in the trash which I knew I’d have to empty before Mikasa came home.
“Fuck that was amazing,” Levi breathed.
“Agreed,” I laughed.
I just scooted closer to Levi and pulled him into a kiss. We spent most of the day just cuddling together in bed. We only got up when it was time to get something to eat. I got a text from Mikasa around 4 asking if I could pick her up around 9. Good to know she won’t just be popping her head in at random. I texted her back telling her I would.
When it was around 8 I had started on dinner. Levi and I were still walking around in nothing but sweats. I had let him borrow a pair of mine for the time being since we had taken a nap around 6 and jeans are really uncomfortable to sleep in and my apartment is way too cold to sleep in just boxers.
We were playing 20 questions again to pass the time, and also because we wanted to know as much as we could about the other. “So who was your first kiss?” He asked. “It wasn’t that prick was it?”
“No actually,” I laughed. “It was my best friend Jean in a game of truth or dare I was 14 at the time. Our friends thought it would be funny and that we would get pissed off but we just did it and they were very confused. Little did they both know we were both gay. I mean we didn’t know it at the time, but it’s still funny to think about.” I shrugged. “Who was your’s?”
“Hanji,” He laughed. “I was 15 at the time and I kissed her under the mistletoe one year because why not. A year later I figured out I was gay. She already knew she was pan at the time though.” He shrugged with a laugh. “How did you figure out you were gay?” He asked
“Oh that’s a good one,” I said thinking a minute. “Well, when I started to notice that all the celebrities I liked were dudes and I kept wondering what it would be like if they fucked me was a good eye-opener. I think I was 16.” I laughed. “How about you?”
“Well, I remember thinking I had a crush on Hanji and then this new guy came to my school and I realized the crush I had on Hanji was a friend crush. I ended up liking him a lot and somehow or another I ended up alone with that guy at a party and I for sure knew I was gay when he was sucking my dick.” Levi shrugged it off like it was nothing.
“Oh my god,” I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s not where I expected that to go. What happened next? Now I’m invested?” I laughed.
“Well, he ended up being a huge prick to Hanji and I decked him.” Levi smiled.
“Well, it sounds like your life is a lot more eventful than mine,” I laughed.
“There’s still time. I’ll make it worth your while,” he winked.
“You already are,” I smiled. “Any way next question.”
Before we could continue someone knocked at the door and I asked if Levi could get it since I was in the middle of cooking. I didn’t really worry about who it could be since we get a lot of people who break into the apartment building to preach to you or sell you things. I just told him that if he answered the door like that then it should scare them away. He agreed and headed to the door while I finished cooking.
Chapter 21: Knock Knock
He opened the door and I recognized the voice instantly. “Hello sir I'm here to talk to you about our Lord-” Levi cut off the preacher that comes here practically every other day. When he comes if you turn him away he'll come back not even an hour later. One time he was really persistent and came knocking at my door 5 times in the span of a little under two hours.
“Hey man can you make this quick I was in the process of fucking my boyfriend,” Levi said with a bored and annoyed tone and I had to throw my hands over my mouth to stop myself from busting up in laughter.
“Son you need Jesus, here take this pamphlet to our local church so he can-” Levi cut him off again.
“Look, man, no disrespect but I'm not a church kinda guy. I do want to say, however, that it is rude to force your way into a building where someone is supposed to buzz you in for access and then harass people about what they should believe and not believe. Now if u excuse me I've got to get back to my boyfriend. Thank you good day.” And with that, he closed the door.
“Damn babe, that was hot,” I mumbled watching him walk back over to me.
“Me telling people off turns you on?”
“Apparently,” I laughed. “Too bad it won't do much. He’ll be back. Whether it's today or tomorrow or two days from now he'll be back.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he's a persistent son of a bitch. One time he came back so many times and I even threatened to call the police on him. He was back the next day.” I rolled my eyes. Have to give him some credit he's definitely got some balls that's for sure.”
“Well next time I'm over if he comes we'll just fuck and be really loud maybe then he'll get the hint.” He suggested.
“You just want an excuse to fuck.” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah and make an obnoxious preacher's head roll.” He let out a devious laugh.
“Of course, that's always a plus.”
I finished cooking and we sat down for a lovely dinner. But we made sure to go back to our little question game.
“Whose turn was it?” I asked.
“I think it’s mine,” He answered as we made our plates. I just nodded and he continued with his question. “What was your best memory from high school?”
“Wow, always asking those thought-provoking questions,” I laughed before taking a moment to think. “It was when my best friend Jean asked his boyfriend Marco to prom. He had me help him and the smile on everyone’s faces made me so happy. I can remember every detail about that day and how happy Jean was and I don’t know it just makes me so happy remembering that.” He might think it’s a little weird that my happiest memory is someone else’s happy memory, but my high school days weren’t really eventful. “I know that’s weird.”
“It’s not weird it’s lovely,” he smiled. “It says a lot about you and how compassionate you are. Other’s happiness make you happy right?”
“See that’s not weird, that’s nice. It shows you really care about people and how they feel.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Normally people think it’s weird that I’m happy just by making other people happy, but not Levi. Then again I guess anything I heard from my past relationships should be discarded from my memory since they were all horrible people.
“My turn,” I said thinking about my next question. “This questions a little different,” I said going out on a limb. “It’s about the future rather than the past,” I said looking towards the ground hoping this won’t scare him away. I know it’s way too soon to be asking any of this, but I want to know.
“Go ahead.” He nodded he sounded a little excited about the question but I was too scared to look up at his face.
“What are your thoughts on kids?” I asked and heard my own voice shake while asking it.
“Well, in general, I love kids, but I’m pretty sure you’re asking if I would ever be interested in adopting?” He asked clarifying. I just nodded not looking up from my plate as my fork played with some of my food. “Well, I’d love to adopt kids in the future.”
I tore my eyes away from my plate and looked up at him with a small smile. “You would?”
“Yup.” He smiled, “I became a teacher because I love the kids, despite some of the stupid shit they do, however, it does keep my job interesting.” He laughed. “What do you think.”
“Well, I like your answer if that answers that,” I smiled and he just smiled back.
“That definitely does answer that. Well, now I have a question about the future about you.” I nodded and he continued on. Unlike me, he didn’t look away but kept his eyes on me reading my expressions.
“How do you feel about marriage?” He asked his expression was soft and he looked genuinely curious.
I just froze for a moment. “Well, I never thought marriage was for me, but I’m going, to be honest. With you, I can actually picture myself getting married which I’ve never been able to do before.” I stopped myself before I could ramble on and just looked at him trying to see if I overstepped a boundary with being so open about this so early in the relationship. I didn’t want to scare him away.
“Really?” Now he was the one who seemed shocked about the answer I gave.
“Yeah. is that okay?” I asked quietly.
“Of course, I was just wondering where you stood. Now that I’ve heard your answer I’m actually really happy,” he said placing his hand on mine.
We finished eating and we continued on with our questions, however, we kept the questions milder after that making sure not to make them to heavy.
We were just finishing up our dinner and it had been a little over 20 minutes since the first knock on the door and there was already another one. “God you were right he is persistent,” Levi rolled his eyes as I picked up our plates to wash them.
“That’s all you babe,” I laughed as I headed over to the sink as he walked back to the door he opened it.
“Hey I-,” he stopped talking rather quickly and I was starting to wonder what was happening.
I walked over right as I heard the voice beyond the door. “Mr. Ackerman? What are you doing in my brother’s apartment… With your shirt off.” I heard Mikasa say.
Wait a minute. Mr. Ackerman… Oh shit.
Levi just turned to me and looked paler than usual. “You’re her brother?” He asked his eyes wide.
Chapter 22: Trouble
I didn’t know what to do I just sat there trying to piece everything together. How could he be Mikasa’s teacher? I guess I should have known when I heard his last name was Ackerman, but of course, I didn’t even think about the possibility that he could be the Mr. Ackerman Mikasa was always talking about.
I finally managed to pull my eyes away from Levi who was still staring panicked at me. I looked to Mikasa who was still standing in the doorway. She was the first one to break the silence. “Damn it Eren, I knew you said you’d like to meet Mr. Ackerman but I didn’t think you’d actually find him and fuck him.” She said bringing her hand up and pinching the bridge of her nose.
I saw Levi get the wrong idea an instantly I spoke up, “that’s not what happened at all!” I started stammering trying to deal with all the stress that just came over me. I had to get my thoughts in order.
I just turned to Levi, “she was telling me about this nice teacher of hers, which I guess is you, and I made a comment about how I’d like to meet him because he sounds like a good teacher. I didn’t know you were her teacher.” I said before my face went red. The way she said it made me seem so creepy god everything about this is just horrible. I finally find a good guy and it’s my sister’s teacher.
Mikasa finally walked in the apartment and closed the door behind her. “I’m heading to bed,” she said keeping her eyes towards the floor as she passed Levi. When she made it to her room and closed the door I turned my eyes back to Levi who was staring blankly at the floor.
“I’m so fired,” I heard him whisper.
“Looks like we need to talk about this,” I sighed not really knowing what I was supposed to say.
“Indeed,” he groaned and we both sat on the couch.
“So what are we going to do,” I asked. I was afraid of his answer. I didn’t want us to break up, but I know how bad this looks from all angles. He could get fired for this. If cps finds out about this I could be in trouble too I don’t know their rules on this, but I’m pretty sure it can get us in some trouble.
“I don’t know,” HIs voice shook. I forced myself to look into his eyes. They were staring at the floor with an empty look in them. He looked sad and scared. He knew what we had to do, but he still refused to say it.
“Maybe we should break up,” I suggested. I knew he couldn’t bring himself to say it so I did. He looked up at me and saw a similar look in my eyes that he held in his.
“I think that’s best,” he sighed. Before anything more could be said we heard Mikasa’s door slam open.
“No!” She yelled before marching up to us. “You both are clearly happy with each other why would you break up?” She glared at us for even thinking of such a thing.
“What else are we supposed to do?” I asked looking at her.
“Stay together and don’t get caught,” she shrugged. “Do you know easy it is to just hide your relationship? I mean all you have to do is make sure no one from the school sees you together,” She shrugged.
“Hanji already saw us,” Levi said groaning as he remembered.
“You and Ms. Hanji are friends, right? I’m sure if you ask her not to say anything then she won’t.” Mikasa suggested.
Levi just kinda shrugged. “It’s worth a shot,” he shrugged.
“What about cps?” I asked knowing she hasn’t thought about that.
“Just don’t have Levi answer the door anymore. Besides, it’s been a few days since they last visited maybe they finally gave up?”
I didn’t like the stress this put on us, however, I liked the idea of breaking up even less. “Okay, I’m in,” I said placing my hand over Levi’s giving him a smile. He just smiled back.
“Okay, I’m still here you know,” she groaned. “I might not want you guys to break up, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t do any of the lovey-dovey shit in front of me. Also, can you both put your damn shirts on? I can see the marks you decided to leave on each other,” she rolled her eyes.
“Sorry,” we mumbled and Levi’s cheeks went red. I think he forgot he was shirtless. I, however, had forgotten about all the hickeys and scratch marks until she said something. I immediately covered my chest as best as I could.
“Now, I’m going to bed, please don’t do anything to um, noisy,” she said glaring at me so I knew exactly what she was talking about. Did she really think we would do that while she’s in the house? Hell did she really think we’d be in the mood after this?
“Actually I think I’m going to head home,” Levi said awkwardly. She just nodded and disappeared back into her room.
“God I’m going to have to see her tomorrow at work,” he mumbled to me.
“Good luck with that,” I laughed.
“I’ve never seen her look that scary before, she’s usually so nice,” Levi said and I just rolled my eyes.
“You’ve never met the real Mikasa. She’s nice, when she wants to be, and a hellspawn when she doesn’t.” I laughed and then there was a bang on the wall coming from her room.
“Guess she didn’t like that,” He smiled.
We went into my bedroom and he threw his clothes back on changing out of the pair of sweats I loaned him. I threw on a shirt and walked him out to his car.
“Well today was more eventful then I was expecting,” he laughed.
“Agreed,” I laughed with him.
“I’m just glad your sister talked us out of breaking up.”
“Me too. This is actually the first time I’ve seen her stand up for a relationship of mine. Usually, she’s more in favor of me breaking up. I guess she trusts you,” I smiled and he did the same.
“I hope so. Either that, or she’s found a way to blackmail me?” he shrugged. “I guess I’ll see tomorrow.”
“I doubt she’ll do that, but if she does I am so sorry,” I laughed.
“Well, I have to call Hanji the second I get home.” he groaned. “That’s not a conversation I’m looking forward too.
“I wish you luck,” I said before leaning in and giving him a kiss.
We pulled away from the kiss and he pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you.”
“I love you too babe,” I said before giving him another kiss.
I watched him get in his car. “Drive safe,” I told him and he nodded and I started heading back to my apartment as he drove off.
I got back to my apartment and knocked on Mikasa’s door. I had to go talk to her about what just happened. I knocked and almost a minute past before I heard a sigh and a “Come in.”
“Can we talk?” I asked.
“We don’t have to,” she said looking at me.
“We need to.”
She patted her bed and I came over and sat down. “Are you okay?” I asked trying to see where she was at with what just went down.
“Mildly traumatized. I’ll definitely need therapy,” She teased in a plain voice.
“Be serious,” I said trying not to laugh at the way she said it.
“I mean I’m fine, just a little shocked to walk in on my teacher shirtless in my brother’s house ya know?” she shrugged. “But I mean Mr. Ackerman’s a nice guy so I guess I can see how you guys ended up together.”
“You didn’t have to keep us together, so why did you?” I asked confused,
“Well, you’ve been so happy since you two started dating and I know he’s not like those other assholes you’ve dated. So keeping you happy was better than making you miserable. Besides, he’s been happier too. At school, he actually smiles now. I just figured you guys were better with each other than without,” she shrugged before looking back up at me, “don’t make me regret my choice to help you guys."
“I won’t. Thank you, Mikasa, I really do appreciate it.”
I got home and immediately picked up my phone. I took a breath and pressed dial. It rang twice and then there was an answer. “Hey Levi,” Hanji’s voice came threw cheerfully.
“Hey, we need to talk.” I didn’t even have time to say anything else.
“I’ll be right over.” She said before hanging up.
“Well, I guess we’re doing this in person,” I rolled my eyes at first but realized how much easier it will be to explain in person.
I quickly called Eren to keep him updated. I told him I’d call him back after I talked to Hanji and I hung up when I heard the door open and Hanji’s voice, “hey Levi.”
“We need to talk,” I said before gesturing for her to join me on the couch.
“Okay,” She said waiting for me to tell her what I was thinking.
“You know the guy you walked in on me with?” I asked.
“Eren, yeah you said he’s your boyfriend right?” She said.
“Yes, but I found out something and I need you to keep our relationship a secret.”
“Is he married!” Hanji asked. “Levi are you-,” I cut her off.
“He’s one of my student’s guardians.” I blurted out to shut her up.
“He’s what! Levi, you could get fired what were you thinking-.”
“I didn’t know he was her guardian until today.” I sighed.
“Oh,” her voice was quiet. “Explain.” She said a little confused. I knew she would be since we have already met all parents and guardians at the beginning of the year.
“Well ya see, Eren is Mikasa’s brother. Mikasa’s dad is who I met at the beginning of the year. Mikasa had recently told me that he passed away and that she would be moving in with her brother. She didn’t tell me the name of her brother, and I didn’t know the name of Eren’s sister… so tonight while I was over at his apartment she came home and well, here we are,” I sighed and looked at her.
“Oh,” her voice was quiet.
“Hanji I really need your help. Normally I would just cut him off, but this isn’t like any of my other relationships. I actually care about him. Hanji I love him, and I don’t want to lose him.”
“I’ve never heard you say you love anyone, well aside from me,” she said quietly. I just nodded. “I’ll help, what do I have to do?”
“Just keep it a secret and help me hide it from Erwin.” I hated lying to Erwin, and I knew Hanji would too since we’ve all been friends for what seems like forever, but I didn’t know what else to do.
“Why can’t we just explain it to him? I’m sure he’d understand.” She suggested.
“I’m not so sure. Besides, I don’t want to put him in the position where he’d have to choose between me and doing his job.”
“Fine,” she sighed. “I’ll keep quiet and help you lie when need be, but just know I don’t like it.”
“I don’t expect you to like it. Hell, I don’t like it but Hanji he makes me happy.”
“I know, that’s the only reason I’m doing this.” She sighed before standing up. I have to head home.
“Okay, but before you go I have one more question.”
“Okay, lay it on me.”
“When the hell did I tell you I loved you?” I had tried so hard to put up a front and to keep it that I don’t remember when I must have slipped up and told her how much I care about her.
“Oh, it was at the Christmas party last year. You got drunk and ended up telling Erwin and me how much you love us and how we’re your best friends in the whole world.” She smiled. “I have it recorded if you want to hear it.
“No thanks, I believe you,” I groaned. I knew I was missing pieces of that night. “Anyway, thanks Hanji. I really appreciate it.”
“Yeah, yeah, just don’t get caught.” She sighed before heading to the door.
“I won’t.” I nodded.
She left and I called Eren back. I filled him in on what she said before sitting down and getting to work finishing grading the last few homework packets.
Chapter 23: Fake It Till You Make It
When I woke up in the morning a sense of dread filled me as I started getting ready for work. Not only do I have to see Mikasa in my class, but, I also had to see Hanji at lunch. I know she’ll probably be giving me sass for the whole situation, but at least she has my back.
I got ready for work when I got a text from Eren. I picked up my phone and checked it. “Morning babe, have a good day at work. PS if my sister gives you shit let me know. Love you.”
I just smiled and texted him back before heading on my way to work. His text made me feel a little better about the whole ordeal, however, there was still a pit in my stomach. I skipped breakfast knowing that it would make me feel even sicker.
I got in my car and started driving. Please let there be traffic today. Well, that’s something I never thought I’d wish for. Something anything to delay me so that I don’t have to go to work. But of course, all the streets were unnaturally clear. The one time I wish for traffic is the day where everyone decides to actually drive.
It’s like the universe hates me. I find a good guy and he’s my student's brother. I wish for traffic and the roads are clear for the first time ever. I can’t eat because I feel too queasy and of course one of my favorite places to pick up lunch at is having a great deal. I rolled my eyes as I drove by. This sucks.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told off that random preacher dude. Maybe he cursed me. Yeah, let’s go with that. It’s better than just admitting my life is a piece of shit. Get it together Levi. All you have to do is get there and make it through the day. Just act normal, breeze through the day, and go home. It can’t be that hard.
I really need to stop thinking these things because of course I got to the school and it was chaos before the day even started. Erwin sent out an email that we all needed to print up the schedules for next week's parent-teacher meetings. Apparently, the meetings were moved up two weeks since mid-terms were coming up along with Christmas break. That opens up a whole new set of problems, but I'll deal with those when the time comes.
Oh, boy do I really need that break. These last 3 months have been especially stressful, and now with everything happening it’s hard to focus. I finished printing up the schedules and copying them before heading back to my class where… oh no. Hanji was sitting at my desk glaring at me.
“What,” I rolled my eyes as I walked up and set the copies on my desk.
“I knew it.” She groaned.
“You knew what?”
“Let me guess you didn’t bring a lunch either.” She rolled her eyes.
“Hanji what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about how you get stressed and you stop taking care of yourself. There are clear bags under your eyes, your shirt’s not neatly tucked in like you normally wear it, your hair looks half brushed, you probably skipped breakfast, and you also don’t have a lunch.” She raised an eyebrow, “that’s what I’m talking about.”
Damn, she knows me too well. “So what.”
“So, you want Erwin to notice something’s wrong too?” She asked and I froze. Damn, she had a point.
She stood up from my chair and pointed at it, “sit,” she said harshly.
I didn’t even bother to argue. I sat down and let her do whatever she was planning on doing. She pulled off the backpack she usually brought to school and set it on my desk. She pulled out a hairbrush and I couldn’t help roll my eyes. She really did know this was going to happen. I don’t give Hanji enough credit she really knows me and all of my self-destructive behaviorisms.
She quickly brushed through my hair before turning the chair around to face her. “Now you’re going to hate this, but it’s better than having Erwin find out.” She shrugged before pulling out some concealer.
“You’re not putting makeup on me.” Normally I wouldn’t mind, however, at work, let’s just say high schoolers are brutal.
“Yes I am,” she said in a tone I knew not to argue with. I just let out a huff as she did her thing making the bags under my eyes disappear without using too much that it would be noticeable. I couldn’t help but notice that the concealer actually matched my skin tone, and looked brand new. Did she really go out of her way to buy this to help me? When she finished up she also pulled out an extra lunch from her bag.
“Now tuck your shirt in and pretend nothing's wrong. You’re usually good at that,” she mumbled the last part but made sure I could hear it.
“Thanks, Hanji,” I said back and I think I surprised her.
“Of course, what are friends for,” she said giving me a little smile but not before switching back to a mild glare, “however, I still don’t like lying to Erwin.”
“I know, sorry,” I sighed.
“Alright, I have to get back to my office, and the kids should be coming soon. Just try and make it through today. Oh, and if you get stressed out, come to me in your free period.”
“I always do,” I nodded.
“Fake it till ya make it Levi,” she smiled before walking back to her office.
“Yup, fake it till I make it,” I mumbled back before letting out a sigh. That’s how it normally goes.
It didn’t take long for the kids to start coming in after that. My first class was rowdier than usual and I couldn’t help but feel like today was just meant to punish me. With everything that’s been happening, I have a feeling the rest of my classes will be just as tiring. I knew lunch would be. At least Hanji was being more helpful than annoying. However, at lunch, I would have to sit with Hanji and Erwin and the thought of that just made me sick to my stomach. Let alone I would have to eat and pretend nothing is wrong.
I swear my friends are my only weakness. If this were any other person I would easily be able to lie to them to their face without issue, but my friends were different. They can tell when I’m lying or when something’s wrong. I sighed and mumbled, “fake it till you make it.”
When lunch rolled around I had to stop myself from dry heaving from the stress. I was pretty sure the makeup Hanji had put on me had worn off by now with how much I was sweating.
I made my way to Hanji’s office and closed the door behind me before I sat across from her. “I feel like shit.”
“You look like it,” she said less as an insult and more as a worried thought.
“Help.” I didn’t know what else to do what else to say. I was panicking and I knew Erwin would be able to see right through me.
“Plan B,” she said pulling a makeup wipe out of her backpack. “I’ve got to make this quick.” She muttered to herself.
She wiped off the concealer and had me rub at my eyes a little until they were a little red before having me do the same to my nose. “Now lay your head on my desk, don’t move, close your eyes, and just keep looking like shit.” She said and right as I laid my head on the desk I heard the door open.
“Hey guys,” oh god it was Erwin. “Levi, what’s wrong?” He immediately asked.
“He’s sick,” Hanji said quickly. “He came in a few minutes ago looking like utter shit. He had told me over the weekend he wasn’t feeling well, but I didn’t realize it was this bad,” she said in more of a hushed voice. “I told him he should lay down, but you know how stubborn he is. I think he passed out, I’d just leave him be he needs the rest.”
“Ah, I see,” Erwin said, “feel better soon,” he whispered despite thinking I couldn’t hear him.
“Why don’t we eat over there,” I heard Hanji say. She was talking about moving to the counter across the room so they wouldn’t ‘disturb me.’ I should really have Hanji help me lie about more things she was awfully good at it.
When lunch ended Hanji had ‘woke me up.’ Erwin had apparently offered to take my last few classes if I needed to go home, but Hanji had told him that my lessons weren’t too hard for me to do even in my current state. He agreed and headed back to his office but not before telling her to let him know if I still wanted to take him up on the offer.
I sat up after Erwin had left and thanked Hanji for covering for me. “No problem, just promise me you’ll eat something.” She said and I nodded picking up the lunch she had made me.
“I will, thank you.” She nodded and I went back to my room.
I felt a little better knowing that I was in the clear for now. It also felt nice to rest even if I didn’t get any sleep it felt good to rest my eyes and my muscles. Pretty soon I was onto the last class of the day and my nerves were getting to me again. Mikasa was in my class and I didn’t know what to expect. Not only that but now I also visibly looked like shit since Hanji took the makeup off. I’m not going to lie I wish she put it back on because then I wouldn’t have students giving me weird looks.
“Already take your seats,” I said once class was starting. Mikasa stayed quiet her eyes never leaving her desk as I spoke. I thought it was just a little thing at first. However, throughout the lesson, I would look around and I could tell she was listening but, her eyes never looked up from her desk. Her eyes used to follow along on the whiteboard during lessons, but not today. I couldn’t blame her for it either. When class ended I asked to speak to her and she stayed seated.
I waited until all the students left before talking to her. “Hey, I know with what’s happening everything is awkward, but I don’t want to be the reason that your learning is hindered,” I said with a sigh.
“No it’s fine, it’s not that,” she mumbled, “okay I mean it is that, but I’m not going to let it hinder my learning. I just need a little time to get used to everything. Everything’s been happening so fast and I just need to wrap my head around it.” She sighed.
“I get that.”
For the first time today she looked up at me. “Are you going to my brother’s tonight?” She asked and I froze for a second. That’s not at all what I thought she was going to ask.
“I don’t think so.” I finally said.
“You should, I think we all have some stuff to talk about and it will help us all wrap our heads around it,” she said before smiling. “It looks like you’ve had a hard time wrapping your head around it too,” she teased.
“Ouch, I mean I know I look bad you don’t have to rub it in,” I joked and she laughed.
“Well, if Eren says it’s okay than sure, I think that would be best.”
“I’ll ask him when he gets off work. He should be off in the next hour.” She told me before grabbing her bag.
“Okay let me know.” She nodded and left.
Well, that happened. So much for fake it till you make it. Oh god, what am I going to do tomorrow? Well, let’s hope this dinner tonight makes things less awkward for everyone. Maybe then tomorrow I’ll be able to actually stand a chance at lunchtime. Yeah hopefully.
Chapter 24: Hopefully
I got home and did some nervous cleaning before hearing my phone ring. It was Eren. I picked it up and answered, “hey babe.”
“Gross,” shit, not Eren. “It’s Mikasa.” now I had the urge to ram my head through the wall. “Eren had his hands full, and told me to call,” she explained. “I suggested dinner and he agreed.”
“That’s cool, when should I head over?”
“Whenever you want. Eren’s cooking right now. Also, it seems he’s been stressing to because man does he look horrible.”
I heard a faint “hey!” in the background and couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“Anyway, Imma hang up now I have to give my brother shit about the hey babe thing,” she laughed before hanging up.
Well, guess I’ going over to Eren’s, but first I have to look at least a little better than I did throughout the day. I got dressed in evening appropriate attire making sure my close were neat before heading into the kitchen. I opened the door and grabbed an ice pack out of the fridge pressing it against my face and around my eyes. I had been tiredly rubbing at my eyes all day and they were red. I hoped the ice pack would get some of the redness to go away.
After talking back in the bathroom to look in the mirror I was right the redness did go away, but the bags did not. I let out a sigh and silently cursed myself for not asking Hanji to borrow some of that concealer. Oh well, Mikasa said Eren looked bad too. Maybe we’ll match.
I let out a defeated sigh before heading out to my car. Of course, now that I didn’t want any traffic on my route there were cars all over the road and none of them seemed to know how to drive. I finally managed to get to Eren’s apartment. I was surprised Eren hadn’t called me and asked if I was coming or not. I felt like hours had passed, but when I did end up pulling my phone out to check it I realized that it had only been 30 minutes. Oh.
I got out of the car and headed up to the apartment. I took a breath and knocked on the door. The door swung open, “for the last time I-” Eren paused before smiling- “oh hey Levi. Sorry about that crazy preacher guy has been really persistent today,” he sighed.
“Ah, makes sense,” I laughed and he let me in, but not before poking his head out and double checking the hallway.
“How many times has he knocked today?”
“Eleven,” Mikasa said coming out of her room.
“Yeah, I think you really pissed him off yesterday,” Eren laughed.
“If he comes back I’ll do it again.”
“Please, maybe he’ll leave us alone for the night.” Eren practically begged.
We’ve tried ignoring him, but If we don’t answer then he pounds on the door even louder and louder.” Mikasa said collapsing back on the couch.
“He does?” I asked turning to Eren who looked stressed and shaky. He told me how he doesn’t like loud noises since his ex used to scream and slam doors and such. I could only imagine how he must be feeling now.
Eren just nodded, “I should probably get back to cooking,” he excused himself and I let him go. I, on the other hand, grabbed a chair and pulled it up next to the door. I sat down and waited pulling my phone out and opening it to my camera my thumb hovering over the record button.
Mikasa gave me a strange look at first, but then she noticed how angry I looked before walking over to me. “What are you doing?”
“Well, you guys think he’s coming back?”
“I know he is,” Eren said with his back facing us. “He told us he wouldn’t stop coming back until we stopped sinning.”
“Good,” I said and that’s what got Eren to turn around. “If he comes back one more time, then I’m sure we won’t have to deal with him anymore.”
Mikasa took one look at my phone and knew what I was thinking. She just nodded before sitting next to me on the floor pulling out her phone and doing the same thing.
“The more sources the better,” she smiled repeating my words from class back to me.
“Always.” I nodded.
Eren just shrugged and turned back around. Ten minutes had gone by and Eren had just about finished cooking when I heard footsteps stomping down the hall. I looked to Mikasa and she nodded. We both clicked record as there was a knock on the door. We stayed quiet and waited. The knocking got louder until the man was pounding on it so hard that the door was shaking.
I looked over and saw Eren holding it together the best he could, but he had stopped with what he was doing and he looked even shakier than before. I set my phone on the chair so it could keep recording before walking over to Eren. “hey, it’s going to be okay. Call the cops, tell them what’s been going on.” He nodded and picked up his phone to call them.
As he was on the phone with them I heard as the man started yelling gay slurs. “I know what you fags are doing in there. Your sinful nature will send you down the road of damnation. You’ll burn in hell unless you listen to me.” he started yelling louder and louder. Half of what he was saying had made no sense at all. “You better listen to me because I’m right and you know I’m right. You fags don’t know what you’re doing,” he yelled louder than before.
Eren stayed on the phone walking closer towards the door and putting it on speaker so there could be more recorded evidence for when the cops arrive. After he yelled some more obscenities Eren took the phone off speaker so the operator didn’t have to listen to him anymore.
Eren informed us that they dispatched an officer to take care of him. It didn’t take long for them to get here. We really didn’t even need to record the evidence sense not only did they catch him in the act, but it was also recorded in the call we made to the 911 dispatcher. It was still great to have extra evidence against him.
They told us that they would take him in for disturbing the peace and harassment. They also told us that we could get a restraining order against him with the evidence collected and they told us how. After the police left we all made our plates.
Eren was still a little shaken up, but he seemed to be doing much better now that the crazy preacher was arrested. “Okay, we need to talk,” Mikasa finally said after we all sat down to eat.
“Agreed,” Eren nodded.
“We need to make this-” she gestured to Eren and me- “more normal. With it being more normal maybe we won’t all be so awkward throughout the day.”
“How are we supposed to do that?” I asked.
“Well talking is always a good way to start,” she suggested with a little shrug.
“What should we talk about first?” Eren asked looking at his sister.
“How about what to do if we get caught.” She suggested.
“We tell the truth.” I instantly said. “Lying is bad enough, but once you’ve been caught it’s best not to dig the hole any deeper. We explain everything and hope for the best, it’s all we can do at that point.”
“But-,” Mikasa went to speak, but Eren cut her off.
“No, he’s right.” Eren agreed, “it’s best not to cause more trouble than needed.”
“Okay, well at least we are on the same side about that.” She nodded. “Now, I want to know exactly how you guys met,” she said looking quite confused.
“Nope,” Eren awkwardly shook his head. “That’s not necessary.”
“Really, cause I quite like the story,” I cut in. “Both parts of it. The part where you decided to sing to me at a red light, and then when you ran into me at the store and yelled ‘oh my god it’s the hot guy from the car’.” I laughed and Eren’s face went red.
Mikasa just turned to Eren and laughed, “that sounds like you-” she rolled her eyes- “awkward as ever.”
We continued with our small talk and I was getting more and more comfortable with the idea of it. I guess they were right. Becoming more familiar with everything really did help me to loosen up, and I could tell by how the other two work talking and acting that they had loosened up as well. Firstly Mikasa was actually looking at me again, secondly, she was actually smiling and laughing.
Hopefully tomorrow it will be easier to handle this secret now that we feel more comfortable with it… then again that’s the key word isn't it… hopefully.
Chapter 25: Easier
After dinner, we continued talking for a while, but eventually, the conversation died down and Mikasa headed to bed. I looked at Levi and gave him a smile, “do you want to spend the night?” I asked with a big smile.
“I don’t know,” he said looking at me with a devious smirk.
“Please,” I asked again and he pulled me in for a quick kiss.
“Alright, only because you begged.” he smiled, “but your sister’s in the house so nothing bad,” he said as a condition.
I gave a little pout, “fine,” I groaned agreeing to the condition. I mean I didn’t really want Mikasa walking in on us, or accidentally hearing us. I guess it’s for the best.
“I appreciate that,” Mikasa said standing in her doorway, before heading past us to grab a water bottle and heading back to her room.
Levi went pale again and when she left the room his cheeks went red with embarrassment. “Well, that happened,” he groaned a little.
I just laughed and kissed his cheek. “She’s fine with it. She didn’t sound upset in the slightest.”
“I know, it’s still embarrassing though.” He laughed.
“Oh, you’re going to need clothes and-.”
“Actually, I have a bag ready in my car. I put it in there a little while ago when I was supposed to go to Hanji’s but canceled, and was too lazy to take it out.” He shrugged.
“Oh great. See being lazy pays off,” I laughed.
He grabbed his stuff from his car before we headed into my room. We got changed and laid down on the bed cuddling up next to each other. “Do you have to set an alarm for the morning?”
“Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me,” Levi said sitting up grabbing his phone off the nightstand.
“Do you have to stop by your house in the morning?”
“Nope, I have everything I need in the car, as long as it’s not Monday or Friday. That is unless I have a special lesson planned, but I don’t” He shrugged as he plugged his phone back in.
We laid back down and cuddled up next to each other. Tomorrow was going to be a long day. Not only did Jean see me looking like shit, but when he asked I brushed it off. I knew today he’d want to go out after work so we could talk about it, but what am I supposed to tell him exactly. I can tell him the truth, I trust him enough, but I don’t want him to be in the middle of my lies if something happens. However, I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him.
I just have to make up my mind whether or not I want to involve him in the lies. I mean when will he actually have to lie for me? It’s not like CPS will ever talk to him… but what if- no. Stop with the what if’s. I have till tomorrow afternoon to decide what I’m doing, so don’t stress too much about it. I’m sure Jean will have my back no matter what.
“What’s on your mind?” Levi asked. He probably noticed I was off in my own head.
“Just overthinking per usual,” I laughed. “It’s nothing just stressing myself out of silly things.
“I get that,” he laughed, “anything you want to share with me?”
“Nah, it’s just work stuff,” I sighed.
“Ah, I see, well if you ever need me to lend an ear just let me know.” He smiled and I laid my head down on his chest.
“Likewise,” I smiled and let my eyes close. I knew I was tired, but I didn’t think it would hit me this hard. “I love you,” I mumbled.
Right as my thoughts started to go blank I heard him replay, “I love you too babe.”
My alarm went off and I was quick to silence it so I wouldn't wake Eren. I looked back to see him still sleeping peacefully. The bags under his eyes had just about vanished, and I felt better as well.
I placed a kiss on his forehead before slipping out of the bed. I got up and head to the bathroom to change. I walked back in and Eren was still sound asleep. I grabbed my things before giving him another kiss. “Bye babe see you later, love you,” I whispered in the doorway before turning to head out.
“Cheesy,” I heard Mikasa say. I didn't see her sitting at the table until now.
I just let out an awkward laugh. “Didn't see ya there.” God, I'm stupid. “You're up early even for school.”
“I normally wake up early, Eren's supposed to wake up in about 30 minutes to take me to school.”
“I see, well I have to head out. Thank you for inviting me to dinner yesterday.”
“Thank you for coming, it seemed to help all of us. You also helped us deal with our crazy preacher problem.”
“So we’re cool right?” I asked nervously. It was still hard to determine what exactly she thought of me.
“Yeah, we’re cool,” She laughed, “I’ll see you at school Levi,” she gave me a devious smile.
“Okay, please don’t do that at school,” I panicked for a moment. It sounded so weird to hear one of my students call me by my first name. If Hanji heard Mikasa call me by my first name she’d murder me for being careless. If Erwin heard, he’d know something is wrong.
“I won’t but it was funny to watch you jump like that,” She laughed. “Trust me I have no intention of getting you or Eren in trouble.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” I said before hearing my phone go off. It was my backup alarm.
“Looks like you have to go,” she said watching me shut off my alarm.
“Only if I want to pick up lunch for today,” I laughed.
“See you at school.”
“Yup, see you there,” I said before heading out having Mikasa lock the door behind me.
I picked up some lunch not just for myself but also for Hanji and Erwin. I decided since I’m ‘feeling better’ today that I should thank my friends for ‘letting me rest’ yesterday. That and also the guilt that I was feeling, but that’s not as important.
I was going through the day better than ever. I wasn’t letting my nerves run me down like I was yesterday. By the time lunch came around I started getting a little nervous on my walk over to Hanji’s office. I took a deep breath and shoved off my concerns before walking in. I opened the door and Hanji was the only one in there at the moment.
“Hey Levi, you look a lot better.” She smiled.
“Fake it til you make it,” I shrugged, “well, that and I actually got to talk to them and deal with stuff a little more.”
“Well, that’s good.” She nodded, “you even brought a lunch.”
“Wrong, I brought all of us lunch,” I said happily lifting up the bag.
“Sounds good,” Erwin said as he entered the room.
“Well, I wanted to thank you guys for letting me rest yesterday and offering to help me out,” I said giving a small smile.
“Hey, what are friends for. We’re here to help no matter what remember,” Erwin said and I felt a pang of guilt seep into me a little more. It did seem to be easier hiding what I was feeling and I guess last night's dinner did help at least a little. It made this whole lying thing easier.
“Yeah, of course,” I nodded setting the food down on the table.
“Well, at least you’re feeling better now.” He nodded and patted me on the back.
“Yup, I just needed some sleep.”
“Hey guys,” Hanji cut in. “ Cut the chit chat I’m hungry,” She said saving me from even more guilt. I gave her a silent thankful look to which she just smiled. “So what did you bring?”
I woke up to take Mikasa to school, but Levi was already gone. I sat up with a sigh before getting up and getting ready. I headed out into the front room.
“Your boyfriend is so sappy,” Mikasa said poking her head over the couch so she could see me.
“Why what did he say?”
“Well as he was leaving your room I heard him whisper to you,” She laughed. “He said, ‘bye babe see you later, love you,’” She teased. “You guys are so ridiculously cheesy.”
“Yeah,” I said only half paying attention to that last part. He’s amazing even whispering he loves me to me even when he knows I can’t hear him. God, I couldn’t have found a better man.
“So are we going or?” He voice drifted off.
“Right,” I said snapping out of it as we headed out to my car. I drove her to school and dropped her off wishing her a good day. “And don’t give any of your teachers trouble,” I said as a warning which she knew what I meant.
“I’ll play nice… maybe,” she said before shaking her head with a playful nod.
I headed to work and knew I had to face Jean today. I headed into work and prayed that today would be a busy day, then I could have a little bit more time to think. However, I walked into work to see an empty waiting room. Of course. I clocked in and started on my paperwork. Jean walked out with a previous patient. When they left he turned to me.
“Well, you seem a little better today. Want to tell me what was wrong?” He asked.
“I-I- was I-” I took a deep breath and looked up at him ready to face this head on, “I think it will be best if we talk over lunch.” Or I can completely ignore it and push it off until later. So much for face it head-on.
“Okay, I get off work at 3:30, when do you get off today?”
“I get off at 4:00,” I shrugged.
“Alright, I’ll get a table at the cafe and wait up for you. Sound good?”
“Perfect,” I said kindly giving him a smile even though in my head it sounded more sarcastic. Guess I was going this. I sent Mikasa a text that told her I wouldn’t be able to pick her up until around 5.
She texted me back almost instantly and said that it was fine, she would go to Dad’s house and wait for me there.
“You know you aren’t supposed to be texting in class,” I texted back.
“Oh, but you're allowed to text at work?”
Well, she’s got me there. “Well, my waiting room is empty and I can multitask while doing paperwork,” I responded.
“And I can multitask while listening to the lesson, two can play at this game.”
“Fine, I’ll get off my phone if you do,” I responded.
“Okay fine,” she texted back and I didn’t bother responding. Keeping my promise I put my phone away and got back to my paperwork. Lucky a few people came in and I was able to get them in for their appointment in a timely manner.
Good thing I wasn’t on my phone when Ymir came in towards the end of my shift to relieve me. “How’s it going Eren?” She asked. As she clocked in I finished up my paperwork for the day.
“Things are getting easier.”
“Well, that’s good. I’m glad to hear that things are getting better.”
“How about you, how are you and your girlfriend?”
“We’re great. Except…” she let out a sigh, “her parents are coming down this weekend and they don’t exactly like me”
“That’s rough, just be yourself.” She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Actually on second thought don’t do that. You need to be kind and respectable.”
“I know, it’s going to be so annoying and tiring,” she groaned.
We both let out a laugh and I gathered my things to head out. “Thanks, Ymir, for everything.”
“Anytime. Oh, and Eren, Christa and I are throwing an early Christmas party not this weekend but next one. You should come.” She said happily.
“I’d love to, but I have to figure out where my sister will be that night first.”
“Okay just keep me posted.”
“Will do.” With that, I said my goodbye and headed to the cafe where Jean was waiting for me. Well, this will be fun.
I made it to the cafe and found Jean at the table in the corner. It was the usual table we grabbed when we came here, that was if it was open. If not we’d sit at the table in the other corner.
“I got you a drink,” he said as I sat down, “okay let’s talk. What’s been bugging you.”
“Well, Levi he um- well.” I sighed. “Something happened.”
“What did he do.”
“Nothing. He didn’t do anything.” I said quickly so he didn’t get the wrong idea. “I found out something that can get us both in a lot of trouble.”
“Oh my god is he married?”
“What no?” That’s funny Levi told me Hanji asked the same thing. “He’s not married, however, I don’t want to have to lie for me. It’s up to you if you want me to tell you.”
“Of course I want to know. I don’t care if I have to lie for you. Hell, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m here for you whenever you need help or for whatever you need help with.”
“Okay. Well, he’s um- he’s Mikasa’s English teacher.”
“He’s what now?”
“You heard me. I didn’t know until I brought him over to my apartment and Mikasa recognized him.” I let out a low sigh. “I’ve been stressing about it for a while now, but this could possibly get him fired and if CPS finds out… who knows what they’ll do,” my voice got quieter and quieter.
“Okay firstly, oh my god. Secondly, they aren’t going to find out. If they don’t see you two together then they won’t know. Besides, how do they know whose Mikasa’s teacher and who isn’t.”
“I don’t know, but they just recently stopped hounding me and it’s starting to scare me. You know that stress when you just feel like something’s coming and you keep waiting and waiting for it to happen, but then it never does. That’s how I feel with these damn CPS workers. They were at my house every day 3 times every day for like 5 days before and they said they would be back and now it’s been over a week and I still haven’t seen them.”
“Well, worrying about it isn’t going to help. Take a breath and relax. Maybe they finally decided to give up and leave you alone. Or maybe they will stop by in like a month. You won’t know what’s going to happen until it happens so don’t waste your time stressing about it.”
He was right. I mean if I spent all my time worrying then I would never be sane. “Okay,” I nodded.
We talked for a while and I finished explaining what’s been happening these last few days. He calmed my nerves but also made it known that I was stupid. However, his insults only made me feel better knowing there was love behind them. It was a lot easier to deal with what I was feeling.
Chapter 26: Email Trouble
Everything had been going just fine these last few days. Everyone had the story straight and knew what to say. Lying had gotten easier, which made me feel more guilty, but I loved Eren to much to let my guilt come between us.
Well, that was until a reminder email was sent out to the teachers. It was Friday after school and I was just about to head home once I finished cleaning up the class. That was until I heard my email notification sound from my computer. After reading the email I jumped up from my seat and started running towards the nurse's office. Hanji and I nearly ran into each other full force in the hall as we headed to each other’s rooms. She just grabbed my arm and dragged me back to my class without another word.
We got back to my class and she closed the door before turning to me with a panicked look on her face. “ Parent-teacher meetings are coming and we need to plan around this.”
“I know I just remembered that Monday is when parent-teacher meetings start.” I sighed. I was sure Eren had probably forgotten too.
“Well, what are we going to do?”
“I need to talk to Eren so we can get the story straight.” We would have to sit down and make sure that we both knew not to address each other aside from the usual Mr. Ackerman, Mr. Jaeger. We had to pretend not to know each other and not to talk too much.
“That would be best,” Hanji sighed. “Do you know when his meeting is?”
“Oh great.” Her voice was sarcastic at first, but she started looking for the upside of the situation. “Well, at least it will be over quickly and you don’t have so much time to dread about it.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. I need to call Eren and see if I can head over there so we can talk. Hanji handed me my phone and she sat at my desk letting me have some privacy.
“Thanks,” I said to her before clicking the call button.
“Hey babe,” I heard Eren answer. God, he sounded so happy to bad what I'm about to say will probably panic him.
“Hey, we have a problem.” I couldn't help but sigh at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“What’s going on?” well there his voice changed from happy to confused.
“Well, did Mikasa hand you the schedule for parent-teacher meetings a few days back?” I asked hoping that would give it away.
“Yeah. What’s the issue with- oh.” There it is realization just hit him. “Oh shit, what are we going to do?” There was the panic I was talking about.
“Yup, well are you and Mikasa free tonight? I think we should all talk about this?” I asked.
“Yeah, where should we meet up my place or your’s?” Eren asked. Normally I'd say his if Mikasa was involved, however, this time I couldn't.
“Mine, I’m bringing Hanji she should be in on this. Besides I don’t really want her to know where you live.”
“Okay, what time.”
“I’m heading home now, so about 30 minutes?” I suggested.
“Okay see you there.” Just before the phone clicked off I heard him call for Mikasa.
“Hanji.” I turned around and she had a big smile on her face.
“I know, I’m going with you.” She stood up. I nodded and logged out of my computer before taking another look at the classroom. Cleaning will have to wait.
“Grab your stuff and meet me at my place,” I said before rushing out to my car, but not before I bumped into Erwin in the parking lot.
“Hey Levi, what's got you in such a rush?” he asked and I mentally cursed myself out for looking so visibly panicked.
“Oh, it's nothing.” I froze unable to come up with something immediately.
“Surely it has to be something? I've never seen you look so panicked. Is everything okay?” He looked genuinely concerned and my guilt got to me. He's such a great friend and here I am about to lie to his face.
Am I? Am I really going to lie to him? I'm sure if I just explain everything to him that he would understand. Maybe Hanji was right maybe I should have just told him from the start.
“Levi?” He asked getting my attention.
“I'm sorry, I guess I'm still a little out of it,” I sighed. I guess I was lying to him. “It's just been a long week. I just have a lot of stuff I need to finish that I didn't get to while I was sick.”
“Oh, I see. Well, let me know if there is anything I can do to help,” he said giving me a big smile.
“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” I smiled back before getting in my car.
The second I drove away is the second I let my true feelings show. I felt so sick lying to him. All he's ever been is a good friend and this is how I repay him. I nearly jumped when the horn behind me blared. Oh, the lights green.
When I made it to my house it didn't take long for Hanji to pull up. I was just unlocking my door when she grabbed my arm and pulled me into my own house.
“What the hell did you say to Erwin?”
“What? Nothing I just said I was behind on stuff. Why?”
“Well, he pulled me aside and asked if I knew why you've been acting so weird.” She let out a loud groan. “Why do you suddenly suck about lying? You used to be really good at it.”
“I know it's just hard I'm not used to lying to the people I actually care about.”
“First of all, awe thank you. Secondly, grow a pair. You love him don't you?”
I got angry was that even a question? “Of course I love him or I wouldn't be going through all this trouble to keep him!” I yelled.
“Then try harder. I know you can lie, but now you're not doing it worth a damn. Just because it's Erwin doesn't mean you've forgotten how to lie. It just means your not even trying too.” She said back and I looked down. She's right. I'm holding back because I know I don't want to lie to him. “I don't want to lie to him either,” she continued, “but I saw how happy you two looked together, and then hearing you say you loved him. I don't want you to lose him either, but you have to try harder Levi. I can only do so much to help. I can't help if you don't try. Don't make me regret lying to him.”
“I’m sorry, I won’t make you regret it,” I promised.
“Are we interrupting something?” Eren asked as he and Mikasa stood in the doorway that we left open.
“No, we were just talking,” I sighed.
“Talking? Screaming,” Eren said raising an eyebrow.
“With Hanji, ever conversation is loud,” I laughed it off.
“Sure,” he nodded. They walked in, but Mikasa stopped next to me.
Mikasa just nudged me before leaning over and whispering, “we heard everything just so you know.”
“Thanks for the heads up,” I sighed. That was awkward. I hope he doesn’t take that the wrong way. If he pulled anything from our argument I hope it’s how much I love him.
We all sat down on the couches. The air around us felt awkward. We sat quietly Hanji staring at Mikasa I think it finally sunk in that yup these two are related. “This is not at all what I thought your house would look like.” Mikasa finally said as she looked around.
“What did you think it looked like?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I guess more school stuff involved?” She shrugged. “It just looks normal though. I mean it’s unnaturally clean but other than that it’s pretty normal.”
I just gave her a smile. Some of her classmates would be even more surprised that I live in a house rather than just going to hell and back every night. I mean I’ve heard some of these kids call me the devil himself so maybe they’d get a kick out of knowing that sadly I’m only human with a normal house rather than a fiery hole.
“Alright, we should start discussing what we’re going to do,” I suggested and everyone’s eyes landed on me waiting for me to say what I was thinking. Little did they know I didn’t have a clue what we should do.
Chapter 27: Discussion Time
“Well, um,” I took a moment to think. Everyone’s eyes were on me I had to think fast. “First of all, we can’t act like we already know each other. So wait for each of us to introduce ourselves.”
“I get what you mean. So I can’t just walk up and be like hi Levi.” Eren said and I sighed.
“You can’t call me Levi. So I’ll have to walk up to you and say something along the lines of, ‘Hello, my name is Mr. Ackerman I am Mikasa’s English teacher,’ and that’s when you’ll introduce yourself as either Mr. Jaeger or ever just Eren.” I explained and he nodded.
“Alright got it,” he nodded. “What else?”
“Try not to look at him like that,” Hanji cut in.
“Like what,” he asked. I was thinking the same thing. I didn’t see him look at me weird.
“You look at him like he’s the love of your life. Your lips twitch into a smile and your eyes brighten up.” She tried to be more specific with it.
He just blinked a few times. I don’t even think he realized he was looking at me that way, I didn’t, but now that Hanji’s said something I can definitely see what she’s talking about. I let a smile slip as I tried not to laugh he looked at me and she was right.
“Levi you too,” she cleared her throat. I caught myself suppressing the slight smile on my face and averted my eyes back to her.
“On second thought you two shouldn’t look at each other at all unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Mikasa laughed watching us.
“That’s fair,” Eren said with a sigh.
“It can’t be helped,” I smiled back at Eren, “you’re just to draw to my good looks as I am to yours.”
“Damn you for being so attractive,” Eren laughed.
“Well, no flirting is a given,” Mikasa cut in with a fake gagging noise.
“Don’t talk to each other too much,” Hanji spoke up again. “The tone of your voices get noticeably lighter.”
“So basically don’t look, talk, or even breath by each other,” I sighed looking to Hanji for confirmation.
“Well, this meeting is going to go swimmingly.” I rolled my eyes.
“Hey it’s going to be okay babe, we got this,” Eren said and I saw Hanji smile a little.
“If you think so then I guess I believe you,” I gave him a small smile.
“Well, I think that’s enough for now. If I notice anything else I’ll let you know.” Hanji stood up and gave a straight stretch. “I’m going to head home.”
“I think we should do the same,” Eren spoked up and I nodded.
“Actually, I was going to spend the night at Armin’s if that’s okay?” Mikasa asked. “So if you too want a date night?” she pretended to gag again, “then you should plan for tonight.”
Eren let out a big smile and turned to me. “Does tonight sound good?”
“Sure, how about I meet you at your house in 2 hours?” I suggested.
“That’d be perfect.”
“Last time you guys spent the night together I walked in on you-”
“Hanji!” I said quickly, “phrase your next words very carefully or I might have to kill you,” I quickly darted my eyes over to Mikasa making sure she got the hint not to talk about what she saw in front of her.
She just smiled and with that smile, I knew she didn’t care. “You have a pretty dick.” She laughed and ran to the door while I turned towards Mikasa mortified.
Her eyes were wide and she gagged again. I couldn’t tell if this one was faked or real. She just looked at me and back to her brother. “Yall nasty,” she finally said with a grimace.
“I’m so sorry,” I finally said averting my eyes away from her with my face both pale and red. I didn’t think it was possible to have all the blood drain from your face yet also have all your blood rush to your cheeks but here I am.
The room stilled when Hanji opened the door. She closed it really fast and ran back over to us. “Hide them,” she said quickly in a panicked tone. “Erwin’s here.”
“Why is principal Smith at your house?” Mikasa asked.
“We’re kinda friends, which makes this a lot harder,” I said leading them to my bedroom where Mikasa looked at the bed and back to Eren like he was guilty of something. I didn’t bother to stay and figure out what she was thinking, then again I could take a guess.
I walked back out into the front room right as there was a knock on the door. Hanji opened it and I sat on the couch and tried my best to act normal.
“Hey Hanji,” Erwin sounded surprised, “what are you doing here?”
“Well, I was worried about Levi so I thought I’d stop by and make sure he wasn’t getting sick again. Turns out he’s just tired and grouchy like usual.” She laughed, “I was about to head out. He still needs a lot of rest, he’s been overworking himself per usual.” She said loudly glaring over her shoulder trying to sell her little act which looked identical to the real thing.
“Ah, I see.” Erwin laughed. “Well, I just wanted to drop by and see if everything was okay.” Erwin himself seemed a little distracted staring off into space. His eyes were on the coffee table… no… the phone on the coffee table. It’s Mikasa’s and Eren’s was right next to hers. There’s no way he could recognize Mikasa’s phone right? I mean her case isn’t the most popular, but there’s bound to be others exactly like it right?
“Whose are those?” he asked. He seemed more confused than anything. Probably because there were random peoples’ phones on my coffee table.
“I found them outside along the sidewalk and was trying to see if I could reach one of the contacts to see if I can return them. If not I’m going to wait and see if anyone calls asking for them.” I shrugged.
“That’s nice of you,” he smiled. “Well I hope you get some rest, and I hope the owners’ are able to get there phones back,” he laughed. “Well, I’m going to head home I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
“Thanks, Erwin. I really appreciate you going out of your way for me,” I said giving him a smile. “I’ll get some rest.”
Hanji offered to walk out with him. I can tell when she got in her car cause my phone buzzed in my pocket. “Cost is clear for them to come out, but wait 5-10 minutes before letting them leave just in case he takes his time with driving away.”
I quickly responded back, “thanks Hanji will do.”
“It’s all clear,” I called out and Eren and Mikasa came out of the room with a sigh of relief.
“You left your phones,” I sighed pointing them out.
“Shit,” Eren said before looking back at me a question ready but I cut him off.
“No, he didn’t find out. I told him I found them on the street.” I mentally sighed hearing it again. It sounded like the dumbest excuse there is, but apparently, Erwin believed it which as all I need. I’m glad he didn’t decide to question me further about it because I might have contradicted myself then and there.
“Oh,” Eren let out a sigh of relief.
“He believed that bull?” Mikasa asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I guess so. He didn’t say much about it.”
“Let’s hope he doesn’t think more about it then. He might start to put two and two together. Especially since My case is custom made.” She groaned.
“It’s what?” I looked at her.
“I made it online. My design my coloring, everything.” She looked at me.
“Does he know that?” Eren asked looking to me and Mikasa.
“I don’t think so. I don’t know if he’s ever seen me with my phone.” She shrugged.
“His memory is pretty good, but I don’t think it’s that good,” I said more hopefully than factually.
“Well, worrying about it now isn’t going to solve anything,” Eren took a deep breath and grabbed his phone off the table. Mikasa followed suit.
“We should head home,” Mikasa suggested.
“Is it safe to leave?” Eren looked at me.
“It’s been long enough he should have left by now,” I said checking the time. I walked over to the window and looked outside. I couldn’t see Erwin’s car anywhere. “Looks safe.”
Eren nodded and headed towards the door. I walked him out to his car and told him that I would be over in a little. I watched him drive away and already I couldn’t wait to head over to his apartment.
I headed back to my apartment so Mikasa could pack a bag for Armin’s house. After she packed a bag I ran to the store and let her pick up some snacks for their sleepover while I picked up some groceries for the next week.
“Done,” Mikasa said meeting me at the produce section.
“I’m just about done too.” I could pick up the rest of the stuff later. I got enough groceries for the next few days so it didn’t really matter to me if I left now.
I paid and we headed to Armin’s. I dropped her off before heading back home. I put away all of the groceries when I heard a knock at the door. I excitedly walked over to it before opening it. Sure enough, it was Levi.
He was smiling as big as I was. I know I just saw him a few hours ago, but I was still so happy to have him here with me right now. I grabbed his hand and lead him into my apartment pulling him into a kiss as the door shut behind us.
His lips were soft as ever. It felt like it’s been forever since I felt them up against mine. I can’t help but put my hand on the small of his back and pull him closer to me. My other hand moves on its own from his cheek to the back of his head running my fingers through his hair. I pulled away for a second and he looked at me with a smile.
“Do you mind if we do dessert before dinner?” I asked looking to Levi hoping he knew what I meant.
“I’m always up for dessert first,” Levi laughed and let me lead him to my room.
Chapter 28: Dessert
We closed my door behind me and made our way to the bed. I pushed him down on the bed and straddled his lap. “Rock paper scissors?” I asked between kisses.
He laughed as he pulled away. “Is there any other way?”
“Well, you can beg me again?” I suggested with a giant smirk.
“Maybe next time,” he laughed, “I kind of want to see how this rock paper scissors turn out.”
“Fine,” I laughed and put my hand up ready for him to go.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors,” we said together. I watched as I held up scissors and he held up rock.
“Isn’t this how you won last time?” I asked.
“Do you always go for scissors?”
“No...Maybe,” I laughed. Damn, he already had me figured out.
“Good thing I always do rock,” he laughed before placing a kiss on my lips.
I rolled my eyes and kissed him back, “I guess I’ll do paper next time.”
“Well next time all bets are off,” he laughed.
I just sighed and pulled him closer. “So you’re topping this time.” I grind my hips down on his.
“You’re right,” he said flipping me to my back and moving so that he’s kneeling between my legs which were hooked around his hips.
“That was smooth.”
“I try.” He leaned forward and placed his lips back on mine while his hands went to the hem of my shirt. I didn’t wait for him to ask if it was okay I just helped him pull it off.
“For you, always,” I said doing my best to grind my ass against him at this awkward angle.
“You’re cheesy,” he smiled before kissing me again. I pulled away and shook my head.
“Shirt off,” I pointed at his shirt and gave him a devilish smile.
“If you insist.” He slid his shirt off and I let out a whistle.
“I’ll never get tired of this,” I said running my hand down his chest.
“Good to hear.”
Levi was taking so long and moving at a painfully slow pace on purpose of course. He was moving in slow motion, unbuttoning my pants and then unzipping them took him over two minutes. He stared at me with a devious smirk waiting for me to break. I knew exactly what he was waiting for, he was waiting for me to beg. The question was, am I really that desperate for him to fuck me that I would throw my pride out.
“Good God Levi, would you just hurry up and fuck me already,” I groaned. I guess the answer is yes I am that desperate.
“Extremely. Now, are you going to fuck me or and I going to have to do it myself?”
“Oh, how would you do that?” he asked more intrigued than anything. My cheeks just went red as embarrassment washed over me. “Did you mean you’d finger yourself in front of me, or pin me down and ride me?” He asked with a smirk.
“Ride you,” I lied. I knew if I said the other one he’d want me to do it.
“You’re bad at lying.” He smirked. “But then again, I’d like to see you do both of those things.
“Do I have to?” I groaned.
“Of course you don’t have too, but it would be really hot if you did.” He said with a shrug.
I thought it over and decided to weigh my options. Well, the only cons would be that I was embarrassed. The pros, Levi would be more turned on, the pleasure would be incredible, I wouldn’t have to deal with Levi’s torture, and much more good stuff. It was obvious the pros far outweigh the cons.
“I guess I can do that,” I finally said with a nod.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it sounds fun.” I smiled and he nodded. I had him grab the lube and condoms as I pulled down my pants and underwear.
He handed me the lube and sat back with a smile on his face. “you look too happy to see me do this.” I sighed.
“Well, I want to see where your special spots are.”
“You already know where most of them are,” I laughed.
“Most, but not all.”
“I don’t even know where all of them are. You actually found some I didn’t know I had.” He didn’t respond just smiled and looked proud of himself.
I poured the lube in my hand and rubbed it at my entrance feeling heat start to burn in my cheeks. I was really about to do this in front of someone. No not just someone, but Levi. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes trying not to think about his gaze on me. I slid a finger in and then another when I got used to it I added a third.
My other hand went to my member and stroked it as I let my mind wander. Levi’s face popped up in my head. Even though I knew if I opened my eyes I’d see the same face sitting there watching me. I found the spot I was looking for rather quickly and I felt pleasure wrap around me. I lost my head for a second and ended up letting a moan slip out, but of course, this wasn’t a normal moan, of course, I just had to moan out “Levi.”
After that, I couldn’t help but peak at him see his response, his reaction to what just happened. His eyes were focused on me but his cheeks had gone red. That smile never left his face. When he caught my eyes on him he bit his lip and closed his eyes for a minute taking a deep breath to recompose himself.
My attention was drawn down to his hand which was at his crotch now rubbing his hard-on through his pants. “Levi,” I moaned again this time watching his response since I couldn’t see it the first time.
I saw his hand palm at his pants a little harder, the lust in his face was slightly more obvious now. “Fuck, Eren,” he moaned back.
“You’re getting so hard just from watching me,” I gave him a smile, “you must really like this.”
“I have a great view,” he said and that statement is what causes me to go over the edge.
“Take your pants off,” I said sitting up and grabbing a condom.
“Gladly he said sliding his pants and underwear down his legs and throwing them off to the side.
I grabbed a condom and slid it on him before pushing him back on the bed. “I’m going to ride you for all you’re worth.”
“Can’t wait,” he said already short-breathed.
I positioned him at my entrance and slid down throwing my head back as the pleasure wet up my spine. “Fuck babe.” I bounced a little as I started to get it deeper and deeper as I got used to the feeling. My legs were already aching at this, but that didn’t stop me. God, I was going to be sore tomorrow, but right now the pleasure is so worth the pain.
I leaned in and kissed Levi. It was a deep and passionate kiss that had him semi-distracted at first, that was until I decided to kick it up a notch. When I got lower on his member I started grinding my hips down and going a little faster.
Levi moaned into the kiss before pulling away and throwing his head back. “Babe, ah.”
After about two more minutes of this, I felt my legs start to give out. “Babe, I can’t.”
I didn’t need to say anything more Levi flipped us and took the lead, but not before telling me he was close. Thank god cause I was holding on for dear life here.
He thrusted into me a few more timed before I finally wasn’t able to hold out anymore. “Levi,” I moaned before throwing my hands over my mouth. Unlike Levi, I actually had neighbors who could hear us if we were too loud.
“Coming,” he said back and just a few moments later he did. We collapsed back in the bed and took a deep breath as we rode out or climaxes.
“That was fun,” I laughed.
“Very,” he agreed with a little chuckle.
He pulled off the condom and threw it away before I looked at him. “So does dinner sound good now?” I asked still a little out of breath.
“A few more minutes,” he laughed still equally out of breath.
“Good,” I laughed hoping I would have a little time to catch my breath.
Chapter 29: Death is Coming
When we finally did catch our breaths I sat up taking a breath. My back was already sore and so were my legs. “Okay, I’m going to start dinner,” I said to Levi before sliding on some sweats.
“I’ll help,” he said following my lead.
We headed out of the bedroom and quietly started making dinner. The silence didn’t feel awkward. No, it actually felt calming and just peaceful in general.
After we finished cooking we sat down and ate a lovely dinner. I couldn’t keep my eyes off Levi pretty much the whole time I was sitting across from him. His eyes, his face, his smile, his chest, everything about him was gorgeous. It was like staring at a work of art handcrafted by the gods. I have never seen a human being more handsome.
“Hey, babe?” He asked with an eyebrow raised.
“You’re staring,” he laughed.
I felt my cheeks start to heat up but I bit back any embarrassment. “Damn right I am. You’re fucking hot babe,” I said with as much confidence as I can muster up. It was worth it.
He started laughing before looking back at me. “I didn’t know there was a mirror in front of me.” He said and I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.
“That was pretty damn smooth.”
We finished our food and before we could do anything else Levi’s phone started to ring. He walked over and mouthed Hanji before answering it on speaker.
“Hey Levi,” Hanji’s voice came through the phone.
“Hey, you’re on speaker, please be semi-appropriate,” he begged.
“Oh, hey Eren, how’s it going?” She asked cheerfully.
“Pretty good we just ate dinner,” I answered awkwardly.
“That’s cool, so are you going to get some dick from Levi, or have you already done that?” Her question coming through blunt and straight to the point. She didn't beat around the bush, but then again for as little as I’ve known her one thing I definitely know is that she doesn’t hold back with her questions.
“Hanji,” Levi groaned in annoyance.
“Sorry, sorry. That’s right you wanted me to be a little more appropriate.” I could tell by the tone of voice she was using she wasn’t the slightest sorry, and that she might even ask the question again.
“So Levi, you and Eren have really gotten close,” she said as a statement yet Levi still replied.
“Yes, we have.”
“So do you think you and you’re new boyfriend,” she said the word playfully as she dragged it out, “will start getting into the really kinky stuff.” She asked and before Levi or I could say anything another voice came through the phone.
“Levi has a boyfriend?” the voice had asked.
“Shit! Hi, babe welco-.” Click. Hanji must have hung up the phone.
“Who was that?” I asked Levi looking at him not sure whether or not to panic.
Levi looked mildly amused but also mildly panicked. “Well, it seems Hanji’s girlfriend is back in town. And Hanji already blew the secret to her.” He rolled his eyes.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I’m not sure yet.” He sighed but a text came through his phone. “It’s from Hanji. She says, ‘Her girlfriend came home earlier than expected. I told her I was just teasing you about having a boyfriend and that you don’t really have one. I hate lying to her. Remind me to kill you next time I see you’.” he finished reading and he looked up at me even more panicked than before.
“I’m so dead.”
“Hanji loves her girlfriend more than anything. Her having to lie to her because of me,” he paused and just stared off into space, “I need to start planning my funeral,” he mumbled out. I waited for him to laugh and tell me he was joking, but he never did. He looked genuinely scared.
I started to wonder, I mean seeing Levi pissed off was scary. How angry he got at the preacher I thought he might murder someone, but seeing him afraid of Hanji made me wonder just how scary she could really be? I mean she seemed so fun and carefree, but then again you never truly know someone until you’ve seen them angry.
He finally just sighed and after I heard him whisper, “Death is coming,” he took a deep breath and then continued with, “I accept my death,” he seemed to get over it.
“Peachy,” he sighed again before looking up at me with a small smile, “well, today will be my last day alive better make it good.”
We sat down to watch a movie. Not even twenty minutes into the movie we were both sidetracked. It’s not that the movie we choose was boring… no wait that’s exactly what it was. It was so unbelievably boring that I thought I was back in school listening to someone lecture on and on.
Levi seemed to feel the same way cause I felt him shift under me and every so often I’d see his eyes look over at his phone. I think he was debating about grabbing it, but he didn’t want to be rude. Wow, I guess that really says how much I was enjoying the movie if I spent the whole time watching Levi and trying to decipher what he was thinking.
Finally, I sat up and grabbed the remote. “You look bored,” I said and he gave me a guilty look.
“I’m sorry I just-.”
“Don’t apologize I’m equally as bored this movie sucks.”
Levi just laughed and agreed. I think we were both just relieved that it was off. I stood up and stretched my back looking at Levi I noticed a blanket lazily tossed over the back of the couch. I felt the gears in my head start turning. Before I finally blurted out. “You want to make a fort?”
“A what now?”
“Ya know a fort.”
“That’s what I thought you said.” He laughed and looked at me. I think he was trying to process my age and why I would want to make a fort.
“I know it’s a “kid thing” or whatever.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Forts are for everyone, not just kids. “I don’t know I just think it would be really fun and since we are both bored out of our minds it would also give us something to do?”
He was just looking at me with a blank unreadable expression at first. Finally, a smile crept over his face. “Let’s do it,” he laughed.
“Awesome.” I turned around and started getting the chairs and some extra blankets from my bedroom while he grabbed the pillows from my room before heading back out and gathering the pillows and blankets from the front room. We set everything in the front room before looking at each other.
“Let’s do this,” I laughed.
While we were setting up the fort he turned to me with the biggest smile before saying, “I haven’t done this since I was a kid.”
“Well, aren’t you glad I’m here to bring the kid out in you?” I asked and he nodded.
Once we finished we had a huge thought out fort. The entrance was two chairs flipped upside down leaning against each other so they balanced enough to stay up. I made sure to zip tie the legs together for some extra support. The blankets over the top seemed to hold them straight up pretty well. We also added an extra blanket that functioned as a curtain that blocked out the light.
From there we had moved the table to the middle of the room so we didn’t have to use as many blankets for the middle of the fort. The table then connected to the ends of two chairs that were spaced far enough apart so we could crawl through them in the middle of them and on each side that connected them to the table.
The sides that connected to tables were exits the light blocked out by pillows that worked as functioning doors. The other end leads to the end of the fort which was slightly curved moved around to the back of the couch where the blanket went over the back of the couch and over the two chairs. At the end, it was blocked by another pillow that worked as another door.
Lastly, we lined the floor with the pillows and extra blankets. Making sure the middle of the fort, or under the table, had the most padding since that is where we’d be laying and chilling.
“All that’s left is filling it with snacks and a laptop so we could watch movies,” I said looking to Levi.
“Why didn’t we just attach the TV to the fort then?” He asked and I instantly felt silly for not thinking of that.
“Because I’m an idiot,” I laughed, “that’s genius.”
“We can do it next time,” he laughed, “the laptop will be fine.”
“Alright, you grab the snacks and pick out some movies. I’ll hunt down my laptop and choose a few too.”
“Sounds like a plan.” We headed off and grabbed what was needed before returning to the fort's entrance.
“Do you want to watch movies or do you want to play games?” I asked thinking over how the last movie went. I mean it was a boring movie, but I feel like that's all that we do is watch movies together.
“Games sound fun,” he nodded.
“Okay I brought a couple of board game too,” I pointed to the ones I set on the coffee table that was pushed to the other side of the room. “There are also some cards in there too.”
“Oh,” he said with a devious smirk, “ever played strip poker?” he asked.
“That sounds like a really fun game, but I don’t know how to play poker.” I shrugged.
“Hm, neither do I,” he laughed. He looked at the stack of games I had brought out, “Strip battleship?”
“How would that work?”
“Every time you sink a ship off goes an article of clothing?” he shrugged.
“Okay, but aren’t there more ships than clothing?”
“Five pieces of clothing, shoes, socks, shirt, pants, underwear,” he listed them off.
“But we’re not wearing shoes, socks, or shirts,” I laughed looking at him.
He looked down at himself and laughed, “oh yeah. I forgot.”
“If you just want to see me strip you can just ask,” I laughed and his cheeks went red. “How about the first three ships rather than stripping you just have to do different things?” I suggested.
“Like?” he asked.
“Well, let’s say the first one is a kiss. The second one could be leaving a hickey on the other player?” I said before pausing not really knowing what the last one should be.
“Are you going to want to do it again tonight?” he asked kinda blunt but still in that sexy tone of voice.
I just nodded as that voice always goes straight to my dick making it twitch in delight. “Why?”
“Cause I like that idea. The third one could be the last prize of strip poker and it decided who tops?” Levi suggested and instantly I loved the idea.
“I like that idea, but the shitty part is I usually lose at battleship, then again, I wouldn’t mind losing in this case.” I laughed.
“Neither would I,” Levi laughed with me. We headed into the fort and got all cozy before playing a game of sorry as a warm-up before getting straight into battleship.
While we played sorry we had a rule that every time we got to knock someone off we had to give the player knocked off an I’m sorry kiss. However, if they got knocked off by a sorry card that person can give the one they knocked off a hickey.
Let’s just say I was covered in marks. I only got Levi twice, he got me at least ten times already. I did, however, give a lot of I’m sorry kisses. Levi ended up winning and I was hoping this was foreshadowing for the winner of battleship.
We moved on to battleship and off the bat, he got two of my ships. I got a nice passionate kiss before he gave me a hickey after the next few rounds. However, after he sunk my third ship and my pants came off I actually sunk one of his ships, which I didn’t think was possible. He nodded and leaned in as I gave him a passionate kiss.
The game quickly turned as I found another of his ships and sunk it. Levi looked impressed and nodded offering himself up so I could give him the hickey. After I gave him the hickey and we got back to the game. I shortly found a third ship of his. And within 3 rounds sunk it. He looked behind him before looking back at me.
“Where’s the mirror?” he teased and I shrugged.
“I see the reflection in your beautiful eyes,” I said with a smile.
“Really?” he asked his voice sounded so betrayed.
“No,” I laughed, “I just wanted a reason to say you’re eyes are beautiful.”
“Oh,” he laughed before sliding his pants off.
We continued with the game and soon enough I found another ship. One, two, and sunk. If I’m correct there’s only the five ship to find, and judging by the radar I have a pretty good idea of where it was.
“Well, then,” Levi stared at his sunken ships before looking back at me. “I thought you said you’re bad at this game?” he teased.
“I guess today my luck has turned around.”
“It seems so,” he nodded and slid off his underwear with an awkward laugh.
He managed to sink one of my ships before I could fully sink his. He had found my 2 boat whereas I was attacking the 5 boat. I nodded and pulled my underwear off and finished sinking his ship.
I looked at him with a smile. “Looks like I’m topping this time.”
“Can’t wait,” he laughed as we crawled out of the fort and headed to my bedroom even though the bed was stripped. The stripped bed was better than attempting it in the fort where one we’d have to wash everything, and two it might collapse in on us. We laid down in the bed and grabbed out the condoms and lube.
Chapter 30: Surprise
We were already naked so there was no need to take any close off. It felt weird being able to get straight into it but hey I’m not complaining. Before I could do anything Levi congratulated me on winning the games. “I have a little surprise for you for winning.” He laughed. “Close your eyes.”
I raised an eyebrow for a moment before shrugging and doing what he said. I closed my eyes and a moment later I felt a hand on my dick and a second after that a chill ran down my spine as I felt his lips wrap around me.
My eyes shot opened and I felt as my hands gripped at the bed sheets. “Oh shit,” I felt myself moan out as he took more of me in his mouth.
He popped his head up for a second, “I thought you’d like that. Would you like me to continue?” he asked in a soft voice as he leaned in next to my ear.
“Yes please,” I mumbled out trying to wrap my head around all of this.
“Alright, if you want to start preparing me while I suck you off then I’ll make it worth your wild.”
“I don’t doubt that,” I laughed in agreement.
He moved over so that he was laying next to me aside from his head which was in my lap. His head went back down before I could prepare myself for the sensation that came over me. I fought through the head clouding pleasure and poured some lube in my hand and lubed up my fingers as I got ready to prep Levi.
I inserted a finger and instantly I felt him take more of me in his mouth. I added a second finger and sure enough, he went farther down bobbing his head a little slower as I felt his tongue expertly wrap around me.
“Oh fuck,” I let out a groan before trying to recompose myself. I took a deep breath and focused back on what I was doing. After making sure he was ready I slid in a third finger. I felt as he let out a moan that sent vibrations of pleasure up my spine. I was getting close and I couldn’t think coherent words to let him know. “Oh god.”
“Actually,” he said pulling his head up, “my names Levi.” He looked like he was about to laugh but instead just played it off with a smug look on his face.
I, however, did laugh, “you’re ridiculous.”
“Thanks. Now can we get to the fun part?” he asked.
“Depends,” I said with a devious grin as a thought popped into my head.
“Well, what do you want me to do?” I asked.
“Are you really trying to get me to beg?” He asked raising an eyebrow.
“Is that a problem?”
“No even in the slightest. I have no problem asking for what I want,” he said before leaning close to my ear, “fuck me until my face is imprinted in the mattress.” His tone was quiet and sensual and his words went straight to my dick.
He didn’t have to tell me twice I slid the condom on. He turned around and I positioned myself at his entrance he gave me a nod and I proceeded. I started off slowly almost tempted to torture him a little. However, I knew I could get him to scream my name rather than have to rely on the power of annoyance and torture. I started up picking up the pace before my hand wrapped around Levi’s member stroking it in rhythm with our thrusts.
“Ah, Eren,” I heard him moan as he melted in my arms. I pulled him closer as I thrusted deeper nipping at the nape of his neck. I felt a shiver run through his body as he twitched a little.
“You like that?” I asked. I gave him no time to answer before I did it again. His moans answered the question for me.
My other hand moved. I pulled his hips against mine as I thrusted forward and Levi let out a low moan as he grinds his hips into mine. “Eren, close,” he moaned.
My hand that was previously stroking his member tightened a little and I heard as he let out a whimper. “Eren,” he moaned.
“Not so fast, I don’t think your face is imprinted in the mattress just yet,” I said using his own words against him.
“Fuck,” is all he breathed out before throwing his head back leaning up against me as he grinds his hips back more and more. He let out a string of moans and I could tell he was at the point where his thoughts were clouded by pleasure. Looks like I’m doing a good job.
I was starting to get close and I could tell Levi was at his limit. He started moaning, “Eren, please.” I eased my grip and stroked his member as he came. I myself was approaching my limit. I thrusted a few more times. They were losing rhythm and were rushed as I finally came. I pulled out and sat back for a minute. After taking a quick breath I slid off the condom before tying it and throwing it away. I laid down next to Levi who was catching his breath.
“Well, I don’t think you imprinted my face in the mattress, but you certainly imprinted the shape of your dick in my ass.” He said and I felt my face heat up.
“Is that a good thing?”
“That’s a great thing, that was hot,” he moved to face me better and placed a kiss on my lips.
“I love you,” I said before pulling him into another kiss.
“I love you too,” he said when we pulled away.
I sat up with a realization. “All of the bedding is in the fort.”
Levi sat up too. “Oh yeah,” he laughed looking to me and back towards the door. “Do you want to sleep in the fort?” He asked and I felt my heart pound out of my chest. Usually, people would just suggest cleaning up the fort, but Levi suggested sleeping in it. I knew I loved him before but if it’s possible I love him even more now.
“I’d love to sleep in the fort,” I laughed and he just smiled.
“You seemed a little too happy about that?” He asked.
“Is that a problem.
“Not even a little,” he laughed.
We got cleaned up and dressed before heading out into the front room. We crawled into the fort I removed all the games and the computer before we laying down in the center. I grabbed two of the extra pillows and one of the extra blankets and set them up for us. We got comfortable and cuddled up next to each other. It took me about 3 minutes before busting out into laughter.
“What?” Levi asked looking to me.
“We are actually going to sleep in a fort!” I said really happily. “It’s every kid’s dream, hell it still is my dream.”
“Well, why didn’t you do it before now?” He asked and I got really quiet. Why hadn’t I done this before?
“Because I’m stupid,” I finally said with a shameful laugh. How could I be so stupid? I mean honestly, I could have done this years ago.
“Well, aren’t you glad I’m here to make your dreams come true?” Levi asked.
“Of course,” I leaned in and gave him another kiss.
We settled down I felt my eyes start to close, but my thoughts were still running rampant. I decided that I was going back to my house tomorrow to finish packing up the last few boxes before finally calling someone to get the house on the market. Mikasa had just about got everything she wanted out of it. I on the other hand still needed to get a few more of dad’s things for memories sake.
I made up my mind on doing this before drifting off to sleep with Levi right there in my arms already sound asleep.
Chapter 31: Cereal
My eyes fluttered open to the unfamiliar surroundings. Where was I? Why was it dark? Why am I sleeping under the table? I sat up and remembered the events of last night. Oh yeah, the fort. It was actually pretty comfortable and I don’t seem to have any back pain. Well... Extra back pain. There’s still some from when Levi fucked me last night. I’m sure I did a number on his back too.
I looked next to me where Levi was laying there awake. He gave me a smile. “How long have you been up?”
“A few minutes,” he shrugged and sat up wincing a little. Guess his back was sore.
We made our way out of the fort and I saw Levi freeze in his place. “What’s wrong?”
He just gave a guilty smile, “hey Mikasa,” he said and I whipped my head around.
Sure enough, she was sitting on the counter eating a bowl of cereal. “Morning,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “A fort?” she questioned with a lot of sass.
“Yeah? Is that a problem?”
“Nope, whatever floats your boat.” She said with a laugh. “Just please wash any, um, contaminated items,” her tone sounded so disgusted.
“We didn’t do it in the fort!” I blurted out realizing what she meant.
“Thank god,” she looked relieved. “I would never be able to use any of those blankets again.
She looked us up and down and just closed her eyes and turned her head back down to look at her cereal and her cereal only. I looked down at myself and at Levi. We were covered in hickeys with no shirts to hide them. Oh. I lead him into my room and we threw on some shirts before coming back out into the living room.
I came back out and Levi and I decided cereal would probably be best. “So how was your night?” I asked and Mikasa just gave a shrug.
“Pretty normal. Just had a movie night and played some video games.” She said before looking to the both of us with a glare, “I guess I already know how your night went.”
“Yeah we made a fort and played some board games,” I said ignoring what she was obviously talking about.
“Of course,” she rolled her eyes with a laugh.
“Well, what are you doing home so early? You usually spend more time at his house?”
“I’m heading back to Armin’s later today, but he had a dentist appointment in the morning so he’s going to pick me up on the way back from it.” She said explained.
“Oh.” I did remember her mentioning that yesterday when I dropped her off.
“Well, what’s your plan for the day,” she said looking to both of us.
I looked at Levi who shrugged. “At some point, I need to stop by Hanji’s house and face my death,” Levi said with a straight face.
“Oh no, what did you do to anger her?” Mikasa asked she looked genuinely worried.
Did everyone but me know how scary she supposedly is when angry? I guess it’s just something you know if you go to that school.
“She lied to her girlfriend to save my ass.” He sighed.
“You mean the girlfriend that she is constantly talking about who she loves so much and has a million pictures in her office of? That girlfriend?” she asked with a worried look.
“Yeah, that girlfriend.”
Mikasa just stared at him for a minute. “You’re fucked. I’ll see you at your funeral.” She said before taking a sip of her orange juice.
“Much appreciated.” He smiled.
I just sat there feeling a little left out, but then again I didn’t mind. It was nice to see them getting along so well. Even if they were talking about his inevitable death, as he called it.
“What about you?” she asked looking to me.
“Well, I was planning on stopping by dad’s house to pick up just a few more things.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” Levi asked with a lot of concern in his voice.
I knew he was thinking of those messages my ex had sent me, but I wasn’t as worried anymore since in his text he said he found out I was selling the house which means I was no longer coming back there. He never was the type to have any patience so waiting outside all day every day for hours on end doesn’t sound like something he’d do. Then again, he never really was one to take no for an answer either.
“I think I’ll be okay, besides I’ll only be there for a few minutes, and I’ll lock the door while I’m inside.”
“Okay.” He said still a little nervous, “my phone will be on call if you need anything,” he said placing his hand on mine.
I grabbed his hand bringing it up to my face and placed a little kiss on the top of it. “Thank you, babe,” I said giving him a smile.
Mikasa just rolled her eyes and continued eating muttering something about how gross we are. I didn’t really pay her any attention though. We finished with breakfast and all got ready for the day. Levi headed out giving me a kiss before he left.
He was heading home to shower because as he said, he wanted to be clean when they find his body. I still couldn’t tell if he was joking or not he did it with such a serious face, so did Mikasa which was strange since usually I’m able to tell when she’s joking. I shrugged it off and headed out.
I headed to dad’s house with music blasting trying to distract myself from the somber feeling that this just might be one of the last time I go in that house to collect stuff rather than throw stuff out and do repairs. This is the last time Dad’s stuff will be in its original spot. There were only a few things left to pack up to get thrown out, but there were also the most painful memories I safe for last to collect.
I saved the most painful for last since I hadn’t been able to bring myself to disturb these items until now. I finally feel ready to move them. Stuff like pictures and other memories such as mom’s wedding ring which sat next to our family photo in Dad’s room. His wedding ring was right there next to hers now. Since I set it there I hadn’t been able to even look at the dresser let alone disturb it.
Dad never took his wedding ring off after mom died he wore it every day and refused to ever date again. It only felt right to put his next to hers after he passed.
When I got to the house I pulled up to the driveway and took a few deep breaths as I siked myself up to go in the house. I was packing up and taking everything. The last few boxes of throw away and the last few boxes of keep. I had to take a few deep breaths and calm my mind to stop myself from just turning around and going home.
I took a final deep breath and got out of my car. I slowly walked up to the front door dragging my feet as I did. When I finally got to the door My hands were almost too shaky to unlock the door. When I finally got the key in the door I turned it. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
As much as everything outside felt to happen in slow motion the second the door opened it hit me all at once. The sadness, the anger, the memories, the thoughts that came with them. Dad was really gone, it isn’t fair he should still be here, he used to sit right there in his chair that’s no longer here as we walked out every morning he would greet us with a good morning, or a have a good day kiddo.
I felt tears rush to my eyes just thinking that those memories are all I have left. That’s all they are, memories, they will never happen again. I just kneeled down right there in the doorway. Reduced to nothing but tears and misery.
This was the real reason I wanted to go alone. Not for the fact that I didn’t think my ex would show up. I mean, I doubt he will, but I would rather go alone than have someone come with me and see me so broken. I couldn’t even make it past the door without breaking down.
Chapter 32: Packing
When I finally calmed down it took a few more minutes to get the strength to pick myself up. I used the door frame and walked in the house closing and locking the door behind me before coming in the room and sitting down for a minute to catch my breath a recharge both physical and mental strength.
When I was ready I took a deep breath and stood up. I decided it would be best to start packing up all the painful memories first since those would be the hardest. I stopped at my dad’s door knocking before letting out a sigh. It was a habit to always knock before entering. I bit my bottom lip to try and stop it from quivering as I felt tears start to burn my eyes again I swallowed down all the feelings and head into the dark room.
I walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains letting the light fall in. “Morning dad,” I said hoping that talking to him would help. “Sorry for intruding, but I thought I should finish grabbing a few things. I hope that’s okay.”
I didn’t expect an answer, but I felt almost as if I got one. A feeling washed over me that stopped me dead in my tracks. I almost swore I felt a reassuring pat on my shoulder. It was dad’s signature move when he thought we were upset. He’d always sit us down listen to what we were upset about pat us on the shoulder and do what he could to help.
I fell to my knees and tried to stop myself from shaking. “I miss you so much, dad. I know Mikasa’s almost an adult, but I still have no idea how to take care of her. Everything’s changing again, and you know how much I hate change. Dad, I need you. I don’t know how to do this without you.” I sat there crying my eyes out to the point my whole body was trembling.
I took a few deep breaths to stop myself from trembling anymore. The room was cold when I walked in, hell it’s always cold the air conditioning was strongest in this room, but there was a sense of warmth around me. I know this all could be just my imagination, but imagination or not I choose to believe this is my dad.
“Thanks, dad,” I mumbled before taking another calming breath. “I don’t think I’m ready to face all of this without your guidance, but I know that you raised us both to be strong. So even though you’re gone I think we’re going to be okay because you taught us how to be.”
I gave a little nod before closing my eyes and just imagining him hugging me and telling me it was okay. I know I said I was imagining it, but that so-called imagination came through my other senses. Rather than my thoughts, it came through my sense of hearing and touch.
I took a few more deep breaths and when I calmed down I stood up the warm feeling never left me. I knew the room was cold just as it always was since everything I picked up felt like I was holding ice, but the air around me stayed the same.
I started picking up everything and gently placing it in the boxes. There was about two boxes worth of stuff in his room that I was planning on keeping. It was all stuff like pictures and other things that held memories.
After I finished the emotional rollercoaster of packing these two boxes and talking to dad the whole time I was, I decided I should make a call. I called Jean telling him where I was at since I had promised to tell him whenever I came back here. Besides, I had finished the most emotional parts, or at least I hoped I did.
I picked up the boxes and carried them out to my car. I put them in the front seat so I wouldn’t mistake them with any other boxes. When I finished putting those in the car I headed back in the house locking the door behind me before picking up my phone and sitting down for a moment.
“Hello?” Jean had answered. I knew today was his day off and I was just hoping I wasn’t interrupting anything.
“Hey, sorry are you busy right now?” I asked seeming as he seemed a little out of it when he answered.
“No, I just woke up,” he said clearing his throat.
I checked my watch and saw it was almost 1 pm. “You just woke up?” I asked making sure that’s what I heard.
“Okay Eren, not everyone wakes up before noon you know,” he groaned.
“You’re right,” I laughed.
“Anyway did you need something?” He asked.
“I just wanted to give you a heads up that I’m at dad’s house.”
“Alone,” it sounded like he went from half awake to fully awake in a matter of seconds. I knew he’d worry.
“Yes, alone. I’m fine, I just needed to pick up the last few boxes.”
“Still you should have called me sooner. I’ll be right over.” Before I could say anything more he hung up.
Damn, I should have just told him when I got home. I don’t want to bother him with my issues. I mean he has a life he shouldn’t have to worry about mine. God, why am I like this? He’s going out of his way to make sure I’m safe and I’m just being a dick about it. I took a breath deciding that sitting around thinking about things is just a waste of time.
I started packing up all the random items we would be throwing out or donating. There seemed to be a little more than I expected and I needed more than two boxes. I’m glad we left some extra here I’d need at least two of the spare boxes. I went out to put the two boxes I finished packing in my car.
I stacked them and started walking feeling immediate regret as My back, already sore from last night's activities, yelled at me. I couldn’t even see where I was going. Why did I think this was a good idea? I felt with my foot where the two porch steps were. When I was off the porch I slowly made my way to the car to put the boxes in. Of course, my car was locked and My keys were in my pocket.
“Why does the world hate me,” I said as I set the boxes down feeling immediate relief, but knowing it wouldn’t last since I still have to lift them into my car. I grabbed my keys and right as I unlocked the car I heard my phone start to ring I pulled my phone out and at first I thought it might be Jean or even Levi. The contacts name read Jackass and I rolled my eyes and silenced the ringing.
Why the hell is he calling, he thinks this is the wrong number anyway. I put my phone back in my pocket and continued stacking the boxes into my car. I heard someone’s car door open and close. Jean got here awfully fast. I finished putting the box in and close my door before turning around to greet Jean.
“Hey I’m almost fin-,” I froze and just stared at the person who was now inches from my face. “Josh,” I said quietly.
“You’re such a fucking liar. I knew you’d never change your number. So which whore of a friend did you ask to answer the phone? I bet it was Jean right?” He said grabbing my wrists with a death grip that started cutting off circulation. He pinned me back against my car as he kept talking.
“Eren Eren Eren, I knew you were stupid, but come on. Lying to me and then moving out. I thought it was impossible for you to get even more stupid, but then you go and prove me wrong.” He sighed and shook his head. I was still frozen here in fear. “When you said you needed time I waited and then you try and pull this shit.”
“I didn’t say I needed time I said I never wanted to fucking see you again.” I finally found the courage to speak up.
“Same shit. You were just being pissy because you didn’t want to accept the facts, you didn’t like me telling you that I’m the only one ever going to want you.” He said forcing his lips up against mine and biting my lip so hard that blood trickled down my face.
I tried to push him off but I forgot how strong he was I was unable to move pinned between him and my car. My arms and head were stuck there unable to fight back. My legs! My legs are free. With as hard as I could I kicked my leg at his. I was at an awkward angle and only skimmed his leg, but I know it must have hurt at least a little since he pulled back with a death glare.
“How dare you. I accept you back and this is how you treat me.” He backed up one of his hands let go of my wrist and before I could do anything I felt it wrapped around my throat. I looked at him with such fear in my eyes. I knew he was a shitty person but never had he laid his hands on me before. I was there forced to look him in the eyes and I could see that in these few years something has changed. The look in his eyes is different. Something in him must have snapped.
I gasped as my free hand tried to push him away. He let go just as my vision started fading and I took a deep breath choking on the air I was breathing. My throat hurt, it hurt to breathe.
“Come on, let’s go home Eren. We can finish talking about this later now I hope you finally got it through your thick skull that I’m the only one who will love you.” He dragged me by my wrists that he was gripping so hard I couldn’t feel any blood circulation and my fingers were starting to go cold.
I took a deep breath and hoarsely choked out an answer. “You’re a liar. I don’t love you, and you don’t care about me. I have a new boyfriend who actually gives a shit about me.”
That didn’t seem to be the right thing to say because all I saw was his hand raise before I shut my eyes as a loud crack sounded and a pain stung across my face.
“Hey!” I heard a familiar voice yell. “Get the fuck away from him,” Jean yelled.
“This doesn’t concern you,” Josh spat.
While he was distracted I thought could slide my arms out of his grip, but I couldn’t he noticed and immediately tightened his grip again this time tighter than before.
“That’s my best friend, of course it concerns me. Especially when he called me specifically so I can protect him from you.” He marched right up to Josh getting in his face. “Now I’ll give you one chance to let him got.” Jean threatened.
Josh just smirked and threw a punch hitting Jean in the face. Jean backed up and blinked for a moment and I knew Josh had fucked up. Jean used to get in fights all the time, he knows where to hit to inflict the most pain and the most damage. Not to mention he’s also a physical trainer, he’s pretty ripped since he goes to the gym in his free time.
“You done got me fucked up,” Jean mumbled before throwing a quick punch to Josh’s sternum knocking the wind out of him. His grip loosened and I went to tug my arms out of his grip. When he felt me do this he tightened his hands and dug his nails into my arms. I just kept pulling. I got my arms away from him, but it resulted in long scratches down my arms where little drops of blood had already started to appear. I backed away from him.
“Call the cops,” Jean told me and I didn’t bother arguing.
It was over as soon as it started Jean pinned Josh to the floor his arms pinned behind his back Jean holding them there with his knee pressed against his lower back where his spine was.
It didn’t take long for the cops to show up. Jean got off him as I explained what happened. It was pretty easy since I could just show them the mark on my neck where he tried to strangle me, the blood that was still dripping from my lip, the huge red mark in the shape of a handprint on my face, and the bruises and scratch marks along my wrists and arms. They spoke to Jean as they handcuffed Josh and Jean showed them the black and blue mark in his face telling them his side of the story and what he saw.
A neighbor of mine, Mrs. Rosaline, a sweet old woman who lived next to us said she saw everything from the window and backed up my story. When the cops drove away Jean just looked at me with a look that said I told you so.
“You still think coming here alone was a good idea.” His question was as sarcastic as the look on his face.
“I know I know, I’m stupid.”
“Only sometimes,” he laughed before pulling me into a hug and whispering in my ear asking me if I was actually okay.
“I’m fine Jean. I’m just glad that the jackass is locked up now.” I cleared my still sore throat and sighed. “Now explaining this all to Levi and Mikasa will be fun. They are going to give me the same I told you so look.” I groaned.
Jean helped me finished the last few boxes before we headed back to my house. No one was home yet, but I decided to text Levi to tell him what happened since calling him and having to explain it was not ideal. I was almost hoping that he wouldn’t get the message right away, but of course he did and he told me he’d be right over.
I just sighed and handed Jean an Ice pack before placing one on myself. Jean only had one place to put the ice pack. I was alternating mine between my face and lip to my neck before Jean finally said. “Why didn’t you grab two.”
I just laughed before getting up to grab a second one. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I sat down on the couch next to Jean with both ice packs on my face. My hands were cold and I didn’t want to hold them.
You need to lay down. Jean said and I didn’t even bother trying to argue. My head was pounding and I was dizzy just thinking about everything that happened. I laid my head in Jean’s lap laying the ice packs on my face and neck and kicked my feet up over the armrest. My adrenaline was starting to wear off and I was exhausted. I could tell Jean was tired too. He had his head leaned back and his arms over the back of the couch and his eyes closed.
I sent Levi a text telling him where the spare key was hidden before letting my eyes close too. I draped my arms which were burning where he scratched me, over the ice pack on my face and felt instant relief. I felt my mind start to drift off. I’ll have to introduce Levi and Jean when I wake up, but for now, I just need to rest.
Chapter 33: Explaining
In his brief text, he told me a gist of what happened. His ex showed up and was acting aggressive, his friend Jean showed up, the cops showed up ex got arrested. That pretty much was all I know at this point. His next messages he sent was where the key was. I headed up to Eren’s apartment and found the spare key. It was where he told me it was.
I didn’t know anything about his current condition, whether or not his ex laid his hands on him, or if Eren was going through emotional turmoil. All I knew was I had to rush over. Now that I’m here standing in front of the door the sense of hurry was replaced with the panic of what if’s.
I took a deep breath and attempted to calm my mind before putting the key in the door and unlocking it. I took a breath and opened the door. I just stopped where I was. Eren was laying on the couch his head in some dudes lap. I closed the door behind me and the guy seemed to have woken up.
“Oh, hey you must be Levi,” he said attempting a friendly smile before wincing probably due to the giant bruise still forming on his face. This must be the friend Eren was talking about. What’s his name? John?
“Yeah,” I said walking over and shaking his hand.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Jean. Eren’s told me a lot about you.” Oh, it’s Jean, not John. I was close.
“Likewise,” I said giving him a smile before sitting on the chair.
“So, did Eren fill you in on what happened?”
“Barely,” I sighed.
“Well, I can fill you in on what I saw.” He offered and I nodded.
He pulled out his phone and explained that he had taken pictures of Eren and his wounds for the police as evidence against his ex. He said the cops already took some, but he decided to take extra in case they ended up losing them. It seemed he was hellbent on getting this guy locked up and away from Eren. He scrolled through the pictures explaining all of them.
He told me everything he knew. He said there were a few wounds on Eren where he wasn’t sure how he got them, and that Eren didn’t really want to talk about to him, but that he had told the cops everything. The only one he didn’t know what happened for sure was how Eren got the cut on his lip, but he said the rest he was able to figure out.
He told me where Eren’s injuries were and how he got them, aside from his lip. “His wrists are bruised and scratched up where the asshole was holding him, he has bruises around his neck since the douchebag tried to strangle him.” He finished telling me all of them each time managing to call Eren’s ex a different profanity with such hate in his voice. I like this guy he really does care about Eren.
When he finished I thanked him and offered to give my theory on what happened to Eren’s lip. He nodded and waited for me to continue. “Well, you said that was the only one Eren really refuse to talk about right?”
“Well do you think he could be embarrassed about how he got it?”
“Maybe?” he still seemed confused.
“Well, I’ve seen my fair share of kissing injuries especially when someone bites someone else's lip too hard. His lip looks like an extreme version of that,” I said and he took another look at the picture and he gave me a surprised look.
“Oh! Oh.” his voice faded before looking back to Eren. I watched him run his hand through Eren’s hair with a light sigh. “He’s going to need a lot of help to get over today.” Jean finally said.
“Yeah his ex seems to be a sore topic,” I said remembering the last time it came up in conversation how scared he was.
“Extremely, Eren called me a few weeks ago after his ex texted him for the first time, he looked so…” his voice faded out looking for the right word, “broken.” He let out a sad sigh before looking back at Eren. “He was curled up in a corner in his bedroom hyperventilating and shaking. I couldn’t even get him talking for nearly an hour.
My heart broke. Eren never told me about that. I mean I knew he looked scared and a little more on edge, but I never knew that he had that bad of a break down over that text. I wish I knew, maybe I would have been able to help him more. I’m glad someone ended up helping him, even if it wasn’t me.
I thanked him for looking after Eren that night, and for looking after him today. I knew I should have gone with him, but I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. At one point I had thought about following him and just watching, but I didn’t since, one that’s creepy, and two he knows what my car looks like. Looking back on everything and how it all went down I know I definitely should have insisted I went with him.
“Well, I’m just glad this psycho will be locked up. I mean he has to go to trial, but there's like no chance he’d be able to walk with all the evidence we have on him.” Jean finally said pulling me out of my thoughts.
“If for some reason he does walk then I will go to trial for murder,” I said making it seem as if I was joking.
“You and me both buddy,” He laughed.
I was only partly joking, I wouldn’t search him out, but I know how that story ends. After hearing what Jean had told and what he had said he was genuinely crazy and would do anything to get Eren back. It seems when Eren refuses he gets violent. So yeah, if he walks, I’d probably be going to jail. Eren has gone through enough torment at the hands of this guy.
“Levi, when did you get here?” Eren asked as he sat up rubbing at his eyes. He winced as he spoke.
“A few minutes ago.” It had been a little bit longer than a few minutes, but I didn’t need him asking what we were talking about. He shouldn’t have to relive it again.
“So you guys had a chance to meet?” Eren asked looking between Jean and me.
“Yup,” Jean smiled.
“And I think my friend is crazier than yours,” I laughed and he smiled.
“Well, I’d like to meet this friend,” Jean laughed, “it’s hard to believe there’s a person out there crazier than me.” He said.
“Well, if you ever meet her, well, let’s pray you don’t.” I laughed. Not everyone can handle Hanji, especially when she’s hyper. Hell half the time I can barely handle her.
“Speaking of Hanji How did it go?” Eren asked looking to me, “I see you’re still alive.”
“For now,” I laughed, “she did glare at me while her girlfriend was in the room. Before I could see what she would do without her girlfriend in the room I ended up telling her everything. She says her lips are sealed.”
“Is she good at keeping a secret?” Eren asked.
I just shrugged, “I don’t know, but it’s very rare that Erwin and her end up in the same room so I think we’ll be okay regardless.”
“Well, as long as you’re still living,” he laughed.
Jean stood up and stretched his back out. “Well as nice as it was to meet you, I have to head back home to my own boyfriend.” he looked at his phone before smiling really big, “who should be getting off work in the next few minutes.”
Eren stood up and gave him a hug, “thank you.”
“No problem, if you need anything my phones always on,” he said before turning to me.
He shook my hand, “again nice to meet you,” he said before leaning in a little, “take care of him, he may not look like it right now, but he’s not okay.” He said giving me a heads up and I gave him a nod back.
“Nice meeting you too.”
With that he excused himself. Eren insisted on walking him out, but he declined and said, “hey dipshit you need some rest, I’ll be fine before walking out the door. Eren just laughed and sat back down on the couch.
I sat next to him and just carefully wrapped my arms around him. “Is there anything I can do?” I asked and he just stayed quiet for a minute.
Finally, in a strained whisper, I heard him say, “just hold me.” I could tell by the strain in his voice he had started crying.
I ended up sitting half against the back of the couch and half against the armrest with Eren with his face in my chest curled up silently crying. His hands clinging to my shirt as if his life depended on it, and in his mind, it might have. I wrapped my arms around him and one of my hands just ran through his hair. Every once in a while I’d place a kiss on the top of his head.
Chapter 34: Talking
After a while, his sobbing slowly died down and he just laid there peacefully in my lap. He was asleep. I could tell by how he was breathing. His muscles had relaxed and he looked peaceful...for now.
A little while later I heard the door open and looked up to see Mikasa walking in. Eren’s face was red still and anyone could tell he had been crying. He still had some tear tracks on his skin. I could tell she knew something was wrong. Aside from seeing how he had been crying she could see he was injured. I don’t know what injury she saw, but she definitely saw at least one.
She’s quiet as she just stands there looking at us her expression is unreadable. She finally took a breath and walked up to us. Before sitting down on the other couch. “What happened,” her voice was calm and cold. The look on her face seemed to suggest she already knew what was coming.
I told her what I knew and she just nodded before she got up grabbed the ice packs that were no longer cold and headed into the kitchen. She hand grabbed a new one and wrapped it in a towel before coming over and handing it to me. “Ice for 20 minutes then switch to a different area,” she said before quietly heading into her room. She didn’t seem too worried, but I knew she was just dealing with this in her own way.
When her door closed I knew I was right. I heard a loud bang. A sound I knew all too well, followed by a long string of curses. She had punched her wall. I wanted to go check on her, but I didn’t want to disturb Eren. I just sat there and held him closer.
My eyes felt like they were glued shut for a moment. When I finally pried them open they still felt heavy and swollen and my face felt hot. I sat up and looked around the room. I was in Levi’s arms still. I looked up and met his eyes.
“Feeling any better?” He asked and I just shrugged. I didn’t really know how I felt about everything that happened, I still felt like shit, but that might be because I cried to the point I gave myself a headache wore myself out and made my eyes swell.
My eyes landed on a pair of shoes by the door. “Mikasa?”
“She’s in her room.” He answered.
“She knows, doesn’t she.”
I just took a deep breath. She was the last person I wanted to know. She would take it the hardest. She would beat herself up about this for some reason or another. This is one aspect where we are very similar. We both find ways to blame ourselves for problems out or our control. I know I need to sit down and talk to her, but I couldn’t bring myself to have that discussion right now. Especially since I’m not even in an emotionally stable state myself so I don’t know how I’d be able to talk to her with a convincing comforting attitude.
“What do you want to do?” Levi asked. It was clear he wanted to help but didn’t know how.
I sat there for a minute thinking of how he can help, and how I had to help Mikasa. Well, I knew I had to be in the right frame of mind to talk to her, and I know what thing that helps to get people into the right frame of mind… no matter how much I hate it. I finally let out a sigh before looking up at him. “Do you mind if I just rant about what happened? I just need to get all these emotions off my chest.”
He seemed a bit surprised, honestly same here. I surprised myself I knew I was going to say it, but I still didn’t think those words would actually come out of my mouth.
“Of course, what are boyfriends for,” he smiled. I made myself comfortable leaning up against him and I just felt as he wrapped his arms around me and lightly ran his fingers up and down my back in a comforting manner.
“Everything that happened today was just… I don’t know. I never thought I’d actually see him again, but then he came out of nowhere. I knew he was an asshole, but I never realized how crazy he actually was. I never thought he could physically hurt me as much as he did. He tried to kill me!” I took a deep breath and tried to recompose myself. I wasn’t sure if anything I was saying was making any sense.
I looked at Levi to see if he was still listening. When I looked up at him his eyes were focused on me and his eyes looked into mine. I knew he was listening intently to every word. “I’m sorry,” he said. I knew he didn’t know how to respond, because, I didn’t even know how to respond. I did notice his arms tighten around me a little more as if to make sure I wouldn’t be taken away from him.
“I was being stupid this morning when I told you not I could go alone.”
“Eren you’re not stupid.”
“Yes I am, you offered to go with me and I turned you down all because I was afraid of you seeing me emotional. Well, look at the irony now instead of seeing me get emotional about my dad you see me not only bruised but also emotional about the past anyway.”
Levi had gone quiet, but his hand that was wrapped around my waist had moved to my head and just caressed my cheek. I felt him lean his head down and place a kiss on the top of my head. “Eren,” he finally broke the silence, “just because you made a choice that you could have never known the outcome too doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It just means you can’t see the future.”
“I know, but still the whole thing was unnecessary and foolish. It still scares me thinking back about everything that happened in such little time. I can’t help but think, what would have happened if Jean didn’t arrive in time. What would have happened if he dragged me into his car, what would have happened if he didn’t release his grip on my neck.” I didn’t even realize one of my hands had started rubbing at the sore bruise around my throat.
“I know this whole thing was probably terrifying, but you shouldn't worry yourself more thinking about the things that never happened, those are the things that will stay in your mind and fester. The more you dwell on it the scarier it gets.” He was right. All day I’ve been thinking those same question each time getting a worse scenario playing out in my head.
I just took a deep breath and tried to clear my thoughts ridding myself from the scenes playing on repeat in my mind. “You’re right, but no matter what I try I can’t get those thoughts out of my head.” I looked back to Levi with hope maybe he would be able to give me some advice to get rid of these thoughts.
“Okay, I know this is going to sound really cheesy and clique, but it’s worked for me a few times.” he shrugged and I nodded for him to continue. “When those types of thoughts crowd my thought I usually take a deep breath and go to a happy place sort of thing, but once inside my mind I make my own story. I stop the negatives and replace them with the positives. It takes a lot of thought and a lot of practice to keep it up, but it works after a while.”
“What do you mean?” I asked hoping for him to clarify as I was still a little confused about what he meant.
“Well,” he said thinking of what seemed like an example, “Close your eyes,” he said and I followed his instructions. “I usually close my eyes and focus in my mind what's happening and take control,” he explained. “ So say you’re in that situation with your ex. Some bad scenario is playing out in your head. Right?”
“Well, it is your head, after all, your mind, your imagination. If you concentrate enough you can shape the surroundings, the conversation, the actions happening. Imagine a tree”
When he said that I started to notice there was a tree behind where Josh was standing that wasn’t there before. I started to understand what he was getting at. “I see one.”
“Now start listening to the conversation going on.” I did. Josh was screaming at me. “Change what he’s saying to obnoxious noises. Cows mooing, the windows Error, hell elevator music.” I laughed when it actually started to happen in my thoughts. “Lastly where are his hands.”
“Around my throat,” I said feeling a little more panic pick up after the quick moment of relief.
“Okay, imagine his arms just fall off.” Just as he said they did. It was hard to hold back laughter at the pure face of shock from Josh in my imagination. I opened my eyes and Levi had a smile on his face.
“I know it’s a weird strategy. It’s like a movie but in your head. However, sometimes it works really well, and other times it doesn’t work at all. It depends on the person and how compliant their brain is on that given day,” Levi shrugged.
“It’s definitely a funny way I’ll give you that.” I laughed and I actually noticed my mood improving. Hell, I was actually smiling, which I only notice from the pain in my busted lip. I ignore the pain and just kept smiling the image of Josh getting punched by Jean and getting the wind knocked out of him came to mind and I let out a little bit of a smile.
“I like this suggestion.” I finally said.
“I’m glad I could help,” he smiled and I leaned in an gave him a loving kiss.
“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better,” I heard Mikasa behind me say. I swung my head around and I saw a smile on her face.
“How long were you standing there.
“Well, since I heard you yell “he tried to kill me.”I got curious.” Fair enough. I’d be curious if someone yelled that too.
“What happened to your hand?” I asked glaring at her for a minute when I saw her hand wrapped up tight in a bandage.
“I punched my wall,” she said bluntly. She didn’t even bother trying to hide or excuse it. “Sorry I was pissed, but I’m fine now that I know you are doing better.”
“Yes, there is a hole in the wall,” she answered my question before I could finish asking it.
“Damn it, Mikasa.”
“Don’t worry I’ll pay to get it fixed,” she shrugged before walking into the kitchen and grabbing herself an ice pack for her bruised knuckles.
“You sure you didn’t break anything?” Levi asked looking at her hand.
“Nah, it didn’t hurt enough to break something. I’ve broken a finger before, it didn’t feel like that. I probably bruised a few of my bones though.” she shrugged it off and plopped down on the couch kicking her feet up.
I had to think for a moment when she broke her finger, but then I remembered it was back in elementary school she had punched some boy for bullying Armin. They were a few years older than them and had been harassing him for days. She finally got fed up with it and swung knocking the kid out cold. She broke two of her fingers, her thumb that was tucked under her other fingers, and her index finger which had taken the brunt of the force. That was the day Dad showed her how to punch properly.
I let a smile slip remembering how dad wasn’t even mad since she was standing up for her friend. When he was called down to the school, and as he stared the principal down he high fived Mikasa and told her he was proud of her for looking after her friend. They had reported the bullying numerous times to teachers, and Armin’s grandpa even talked to the principal personally about it, but they never did anything for “lack of evidence” despite the many bruises they left on Armin.
Mikasa might have gotten suspended, but those boys never did pick on Armin again. It must have been especially embarrassing since the guy got knocked out by a girl three years younger than them.
“What?” Mikasa asked noticing I was staring at her in a daze.
“Nothing, just remembering something,” I smiled and looked back to Levi, then back to Mikasa. “How about we all watch a movie?”
They both agreed.
Chapter 35: Checkmate
Not long after the movie Mikasa had got a text from one of her other friends to go out for dinner. She got picked up and told us she’d be back anywhere between an hour to two hours. I looked at Levi with a quick smile. “We have two hours, I know what we should do.”
Levi just shook his head. “Eren you look like death. I don’t want to explain to the hospital, or to your sister, that you keeled over because we fucked.”
“I’m not going to keel over,” I mumbled with a pouty expression on my face, but I knew he wasn’t going to change his mind.
He just raised his eyebrow at me with that ‘are you sure’ sort of look. I just huffed I knew he was right, but I wasn’t going to let him know that. We ended up just eating dinner. Levi insisted on cooking. It was a little annoying that he was insisting to wait on me, but only a little. It was sweet of him to go out of his way to be here for me. I didn’t know how long he was planning on staying, but honestly, I wouldn’t mind if it was all night.
After we finished dinner we just headed to bed with a few cheesy movies and board games. He was right, I already felt like hell. There would be no way I’d be able to have sex tonight. We sat on my bed and just played a few games. We had started a game of chess which I knew I wasn’t going to win since I’ve only ever played a few games with dad on his free days.
Mikasa came home a little bit after loudly declaring her presence in the house. I called her name and she came into my room a little hesitant to do so. “Did you lock the door?” I asked her when she came in and she nodded. I mostly just wanted her to know that we aren’t doing anything bad and she doesn’t have to think we are. It’s bad enough she saw some of the marks on us, the last thing I wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable here thinking we were doing something we weren’t.
“How was dinner?” I asked.
“It was nice. Armin ended up staying home because he was tired. We did end up playing video games all night so I don’t blame him for being exhausted. So it ended up just being Annie, Sasha, and I. It was nice to have a girls night.” She smiled.
“Well, I’m glad you had fun.”
“Yeah. Well, I’m going to go finish up the last bit of my homework,” she said excusing herself. She seemed a lot more comfortable around Levi and I was just glad that she didn’t seem entirely weirded out by everything still.
We got back to the chess game and I started uncomfortably shifting around. My back was really sore from being slammed against my car, but now there was nothing to lean against and I was hunched over.
“Hey, are you okay?’ Levi asked when I started wincing as I stretched my back.
“Yeah, my back is just a little sore sitting like this,” I said before starting to move over.
“Here does this help,” Levi said before scooting up behind me so that I could lean my back up against his chest.
“Actually yes,” I laughed when I felt how comfortable that felt. Maybe I'm just biased because inside Levi’s arms was always the best place to be. “Are you comfortable?” I asked hoping that he doesn’t put himself in any awkward positions that will hurt later.
“Yup, I like this position besides I can do this,” he said before nipping at my ear right as I was about to move my piece.
“Hey,” I scrunch my shoulders up to block my ears, “no cheating,” I pouted.
“I’m not cheating,” he laughed.
“You’re distracting me, and I need all my concentration for this game.”
“Why you’ve already lost.”
“Well,” he pointed out his pieces, “no matter what you do I’ll still get a checkmate you can’t block it.”
“Oh.” I just let out a sigh and moved any piece. Levi continued with his checkmate before placing a tender kiss on my cheek.
“As much as I love kicking your ass in chess I think we should do something else.” he laughed. I nodded and looked to the other games letting out a yawn as I did. “Maybe we should just head to bed,” he suggested.
“But I-” I was cut off by my own yawn. Levi’s eyebrow raised and I sighed. Well so much for that argument. “Yeah, that’s probably best.”
As we got ready for bed I had a nagging feeling. I knew today was stressful, but I just wished it didn’t carry on to my dreams. I knew I was going to have trouble getting to sleep, but I prayed that there would be no nightmares. I’ve been having nightmares ever since they told me dad died. Well, that was until I started sleeping with Levi by my side. Since then they seemed to have vanished. I just hoped they would stay gone.
We laid down and Levi wrapped his arms around me more gently than usual. I think he was worried about hurting me. I just cuddled up closer and closed my eyes. I didn’t think I would be this tired since I slept a few hours earlier today, but just now I felt a heavy wave start to pull me under as my consciousness faded I heard Levi’s voice say to me, “I love you.” Before I could respond I was out.
That felt like only a few minutes ago before my eyes opened. It was morning Levi was gone he must have gone to work. Strange, it’s only Sunday. I just shrugged it off and walked out into the living room. Mikasa seemed to be gone too. Her backpack was missing and I shrugged it off. Guess there was school today.
I started heading to the door before realizing I was already dressed. Weird I don’t remember changing. I just shrugged it off and opened the door. I walked out of my dad's house and… wait. What am I doing here? I was just at my apartment, wasn’t I? I must have fallen asleep packing. I picked up a box and headed out to my car. I opened the back seat and placed the box in it. I turned and was face to face with Josh.
I tried to run, but my feet seemed glued to the floor. I couldn’t even raise my hands to push him away as he wrapped his hands around my throat. My arms were stuck at my side. I went to call out for help, but I knew no one could hear me through the choking noises I was making. I was going to die here looking at Josh who was smiling down at me with deranged eyes.
My eyes open as I shot upwards as I felt someone shake me. I was back in my dark bedroom and Levi was sitting there with his hands on my shoulders staring at me with a worried look. “Eren,” he whispered, “it’s okay I’m here.”
Before I could ask what he meant Mikasa threw my door open with a bat in hand. “What happened.” She said panting. “Eren, are you okay?” She looked to Levi who shared her worried look before realizing what must have happened. They seemed to know more than me last I knew I was getting choked to death… again.
“What happened?” I asked and Levi just hugged me.
“You were crying in your sleep when you started screaming for help.”
I just sat there for a moment processing everything. I brought my hand up to my cheeks and sure enough, they were soaked with tears. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled I didn’t mean to wake them. I haven’t talked in my sleep since I was a kid, and I’ve surely never screamed in my sleep before.
I heard a knocking and nearly jumped. I guess I’m still a little on edge after everything. “Someone’s at the door,” Mikasa said looking behind her.
“It might be the cops I mean Eren was screaming bloody murder.”
We all headed towards the door. I looked through the peephole before seeing that it was just a couple in their pajamas rather than the cops. I opened the door and they seemed almost relieved.
“Is everyone okay we heard screaming?” The older woman asked while I can only assume her husband still looked half dead behind her.
“I’m sorry, we’re okay. That’s my fault.”
I watched her eyes widen as she looked at my neck. “Are you sure you’re okay.”
“Oh this,” I said pointing at the bruises on my neck. I watched her eyes follow my arm which was also bruised and scratched up. “It’s a long story. The short version is it’s been a long day. I ran into my crazy ex. He tried to kidnap me and kill me and I just had a nightmare about that.”
“Oh my,” she said worriedly. “I’m so sorry dear.”
“Yeah, sorry again, I understand if you file a noise complaint I-.”
“Oh no dear we aren’t going to file a noise complaint I’m just glad you’re okay.” She gave me a smile.
“If you ever need anything you can always knock on our door,” the husband finally said giving me a friendly smile.
“Thank you that means a lot. Sorry again to wake you.”
“Oh, it’s quite alright dear just take care of yourself okay.” She said before they went back to their apartment. I was so glad that I only had one neighbor. Turns out they are really sweet people.
We closed our door and we all went back to bed. Levi and I stayed up a little longer. Mikasa had given Levi a look that told him to talk to me, but I didn’t feel like talking. That dream scared the shit out of me sure, but it’s not like I can control my dreams, unlike my thoughts. I’ve never been good at lucid dreaming.
“Not tonight,” I whispered before Levi could do more than open his mouth slightly.
“Okay,” he said and we climbed into bed. I was too tired mentally to deal with another long conversation about the horrors that happened. I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget about this embarrassment. Not only did I make a fool of myself in front of my new neighbors that I have yet to meet until now, but I also made a fool of myself in front of Levi. I felt like crying again, but for a different reason. The look on Levi’s face when I woke up was horrible. He looked so scared. I felt like shrinking until I disappeared.
Levi laid down next to me and I just laid on my own side of the bed. I could tell he wasn’t expecting that but he didn’t bring it up. I just waited for a while waiting. After enough time had passed I knew Levi must have fallen asleep by now. I felt everything hit me. The fear, the stress, the embarrassment. Everything hit me, and it hit me hard.
I just curled up and silently sobbed. The tears just came and wouldn’t stop. I tried to keep my whimpers so quiet, but a few slipped through despite my teeth biting my lip so hard to keep quiet. I could taste copper as I reopened the wound on my lip. Another whimper slipped through.
“Oh Eren,” I heard Levi let out a sad sigh. His arms wrap around me and I couldn’t help but turning around and throwing my arms around him. He just held me close and rubbed my back.
“I’m sorry.” I kept repeating over and over.
“Don’t be. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He said placing a kiss on the top of my head.
He just held me until I finally stopped crying. No, I didn’t stop, I just ran out of tears to cry. I just sat there and he leads me into the bathroom to clean up my lip as I felt so exhausted mentally to even do as much as look up. Every movement took all of my energy to make. I felt like I was in a daze nothing felt real.
After he cleaned my lip up he walked me back to bed before I finally mustered the courage to look into his eyes. I thought they’d judge me, I thought they’d hate me, I thought they’d be annoyed with me. When I looked into his eyes I saw nothing but pure love and that made me feel worse. Why was I expecting the worst when he’s been nothing but the best. He’s done nothing to make me doubt him so why is my mind doing just that. Why was I expecting to see Josh’s eyes just now rather than Levi’s? Nothing makes sense.
“Eren, I love you,” I heard Levi say as he caressed my cheek to try and reassure me.
I snapped out of it right then and there. The daze, the lethargy, the doubts, everything. I threw my arms around him and just hugged him. “I love you too,” I said burying my face in his chest. I don’t know when we laid down, but next thing I know we are laying in each other’s arms. We just laid there wrapped in each other’s embrace until eventually, we both fell asleep.
When I woke up the next morning Levi was still there sleeping and I knew this wasn’t a dream this time. I took a breath and felt better. All of the negative emotions from last night were gone. Well, almost all of them, I still had to find a way to make it up to my neighbors which I embarrassed myself in front of. I got up and went to go grab the mail when I notice there was something tied to my door. A string? I looked up and there was a balloon attached to said string.
The balloon said get well soon. There was a card taped to the string. I opened the envelope and saw it was just a blank picture card on the outside. I opened it up and read what was handwritten on the inside.
“Hope all your bruises and wounds heal and that your nightmares go away. Sincerely your neighbors, the Bakers.” I just smiled and brought the balloon and card inside. I guess they really didn’t mind what happened last night.
Chapter 36: Called Out
We spent the day lounging around and taking it easy. Jean had called Ymir and told her what happened. I know because she called me after and checked to see how I was. She asked if I needed any time off. I said no and she told me to let her know if I changed my mind or if I needed anything at all. She also reminded me that I took tomorrow off. I paused for a minute before thinking. My eyes widened and I thanked her for the reminder cause I had completely forgotten.
I got off the phone and looked at Levi. “Tomorrow’s Monday.”
“Oh,” it seemed to click as his eyes widened too, “The meetings are tomorrow.”
“Yeah, what are we going to do?” I could hear the panic in my voice.
“Eren, breath. We stick to the plan. If we get caught then we come clean. Simple as that.” he was a lot calmer about this than I was.
“Okay,” I took a deep breath, “you’re right.”
We sat back and relaxed. After waking up this morning I had felt my muscles tighten up more and more. I was even sorer than I was yesterday. My back felt tense and it hurt to move it in any way. My arms were sore all the way from my elbows to my fingertips. My neck hurt if I turned it even slightly. Pain shot through my body every time I moved a simple muscle.
Levi was determined to do everything for me despite me trying to insist I was fine. I think after wincing every time I moved kinda gave away that I wasn’t okay.
He set the pillows up and made sure I was comfortable and every once in a while he would ask if I was hungry or thirsty. Mikasa had come out of her room and asked if we would mind watching a movie. I looked at what she wanted to watch, it was a comedy. I said sure and she put it on. I liked how comfortable she had gotten with Levi.
At first, she was awkward around him and would still call him Mr. Ackerman when addressing him. Now she calls him Levi and they even joke around sometimes when they are in the same room. She sat on the other couch since I was laying across this one at a weird angle since it was the only one I could find that didn’t hurt. Levi was sitting with my legs in his lap.
The comedy started and instantly we were in tears from laughing so hard. Me more than the others since laughing hurt too much, but it was a good pain. I was actually smiling for the first time today. It felt better to laugh rather than feel miserable even if it hurt to do so.
Levi ended up leaving around dinner time to pick us up some food. I insisted I could just make something and he refused saying that he had a place where he could pick up really good food and it was cheap. I gave in especially since he seemed really excited to have us eat there. Mikasa just shrugged and went along with it.
He left and came back with food and a bag from a store with snacks and ice cream. “I decided to make a pit stop,” he said with a smile. He walked over to Mikasa and handed her her favorite snack.
“How did you?” she started to ask staring at the box of candy.
“Oh come on, do you know how many times I’ve seen you sneaking them in my class and eating them.”
Mikasa’s face went red, “you knew?”
“Of course I knew. Everyone thinks they are so sneaky about it, but I can hear them moving around in the box when you try and hide them. I can see as you guys lift your arms up to your mouth really slowly and quickly popping one in your mouth.” He laughed, “I just didn’t both call you guys out cause it was way too entertaining to watch and see all the creative ways students try and eat food. Besides, the no eating rule isn’t my idea, it’s Principal Smith’s.”
“Oh,” she said a little embarrassed. “Well, does that mean we don’t have to be sneaky about eating in your class?”
“Well, you don’t have to be as sneaky as you think you’re being, but don’t make it super obvious I don’t want to get in trouble if Erwin walks in.”
He walked over to me and handed me a snack as well as showing me the ice cream container that I could partially see through the bag.
“You looked like you needed some ice cream, it can really help when you’re under the weather,” he whispered to me. I didn’t think he knew just how depressed I had been all day. I thought I had hidden it, but just like Mikasa getting called out for eating food in class I had gotten called out too.
“Thanks,” I mumbled quietly. I couldn’t help but be embarrassed. He read me like an open book. Was I being that painfully obvious? No, I couldn’t have been, Mikasa would have noticed if I was, and believed me she would let me know if she knew. Levi, on the other hand, was able to see straight through me despite Mikasa not being able to even do so.
I just know despite feeling embarrassed about him calling me out I still feel incredibly lucky to have him here with me. He actually gives a shit about how I feel and went out of his way to do something to try and make me feel better even if it was just as simple as buying ice cream or as time-consuming as staying here and looking after me these last two days.
“Hello, earth to Eren,” I heard Mikasa say. “You zone out there for a second.”
“He’s probably just tired,” Levi said covering for me as he was setting up different takeout containers so we could all just help ourselves to whatever we wanted.
“Yup, I didn’t sleep well, remember,” I said turning to Mikasa
“Oh yeah,” she mumbled.
“Speaking of, I bumped into your neighbors while I was coming back.
“What did they say?”
“Well, they mostly just asked if you were okay. They asked a little about what happened but made sure it was okay to ask about it first. Mrs. Baker even asked if it would be okay for her to bring over a batch of cookies later.
“That was really nice of her,” Mikasa said as she got some food on her plate.
“What did you say?” I asked curiously.
“Well, I told her that would be nice and that she was very kind for thinking of you.” Levi smiled before making his plate too.
“Maybe when I’m feeling a little better I should invite them over for dinner?” I asked and Mikasa just shrugged.
“I wouldn't mind. They seem pretty nice.”
I just nodded making up my mind. It would also give me a chance to apologize for last night as well as thank them for the balloon and card from this morning. I was about to start making my plate but sitting forward caused me to wince a little. Levi just asked me what I wanted on my plate before making it.
I felt so useless not being able to move without a severe pain burning its way through my body, but Levi managed to turn that into me feeling so loved. I even saw Mikasa smile at the gesture, of course when she saw me looking she just rolled her eyes and scoffed.
Mikasa popped in another movie as we sat down to eat, this one an action comedy. A little bit into it we heard a knock at the door. Mikasa got up and answered it and sure enough, it was Mrs. Baker with a batch of freshly made cookies. Mikasa invited her in so I could thank her face to face.
She walked up to me with a smile and asked me how I was doing.
“Sore, but better mentally,” I smiled.
“Well, I’m good to hear you’re doing better at least a little. I hope you continue to feel better,” she said.
“Thank you, oh and thank you for the cookies, and the balloon, and the card,” I said listing all the kind gestures she’s done for me.
“It was my pleasure dear. If you need anything I’m right next door, though I’m sure you’re well taken care of by this kind gentlemen,” she said gesturing towards Levi. “Anyway, I ought to be heading back home. I’ll let you get on with your night. Have a good one,” she said before excusing herself. Levi walked her out before coming back and sitting with me.
“I’ve never had neighbors as nice as them before,” I smiled before looking to Levi.
“Well, people don’t really get to know their neighbors anymore. I know I don’t know any of mine,” he shrugged.
“Yeah, it’s really a shame.” I sighed before we got back to the movie and to dinner.
After the movie ended I managed to convince Levi that I’d be okay here with just Mikasa. I knew he needed to go home since all of his work stuff was still there. Hell, I didn’t even know if he finished grading his students’ homework. He was very hesitant to leave, but once I insisted I was heading to bed soon anyway and that Mikasa was within yelling distance he agreed and promised to call me tomorrow around lunchtime. He told me to call him if I needed anything, no matter how small it might seem. I agreed and he felt a little better about leaving. When he left the house felt quieter than ever. I guess he’s been here so much these last few weeks that I just wasn’t used to the silence.
I ended up going to bed hoping to sleep off these terrible aches and pains. I closed my eyes and prayed that I wouldn’t be plagued by any horrible nightmares.
Chapter 37: Alarms
I woke up and already felt like something was wrong. The sun was too far in the sky. "Shit I slept through my alarm!" I yelled shooting straight up. Bad idea. Pain shot through my body. It wasn't as bad as yesterday, but just the shock of it was enough to freeze me in place. I took a deep breath and moved slowly. I moved as fast as I could without putting myself into pain. It looked like I was halfway between normal speed and slow motion.
"Mikasa," I called out. I had made her late to school. I slept through my alarm and she must have slept through hers.
I put my hand on my nightstand and felt a piece of paper that wasn't there last night. I picked it up and started to read the handwritten note.
"Hey Eren, don't freak out too much when you wake up. You didn't miss your alarm, I shut it off. I got one of my friends to take me to school. I thought you could use the rest. Text me if you don't think you can make it to the conference. I'll explain to Erwin and the rest of the teachers what happened and try to reschedule with them. I'll have Jean forward me the pictures so they can see that I'm not lying. Hope you take it easy today. Love Mikasa."
I let out a sigh of relief and texted her. "I can make it to the conference I'm feeling a lot better." I sent her the message and she immediately responded.
"Are you sure? If so that's great! If not then don't lie just so you can attend the meeting and get it over with."
She knows me so well. However, I wouldn't call it lying. I am actually feeling better, just not fully better. As long as I take it slow I should be fine.
I texted her back, "I'm really feeling better I'll just take it easy but I'll be okay."
She sent back, "I'm glad you're feeling better."
I sent one last message to her, "me too.” I knew she was in the middle of class, but I just shrugged it off. I can’t really complain that she's on her phone in class for a multitude of reasons.
One: I texted her first. Two: she’s an A student. Three: I’m always on my phone at work. Four: all throughout high school I was always on my phone. Five: she wouldn’t listen even if I did complain.
I know I’ve called her out a few different times for it and each time she says okay I’ll put it away only to see her active on a social media app. I’m not an idiot I know she won’t listen, but I should at least try and act responsible right? Well, today I wasn’t going to. We both have enough stuff on our minds.
I just laid back down and decided to just relax and take it easy until I had to get ready for the meeting. I set an alarm for an hour before I would have to leave so I would have time to get up, shower, get ready, eat, and still have plenty of time to make it to the meeting.
Mikasa, as well as Levi and Hanji, had told me how this meeting would go. There's a few different tables and different parents and students at each. The students would talk about their grades to their parents before each teacher would come over introduce themselves usually talk for 2 minutes and then the principal would introduce himself and shake your head before heading over to a different parent. Hanji said she usually doesn’t participate, but she does sit in the room watching to make sure everything is running smoothly. She usually helps people to their seats and knows the routine.
I seemed less worried about it now especially since Levi said we would be fine. I just laid back down to get some more sleep I was still rather exhausted and didn’t really care to have bags under my eyes for the meeting. I knew I would have to wear a jacket to cover my arms and my neck so I wouldn’t worry anyone there. I really didn’t feel like explaining everything especially to a bunch of strangers.
I tried to find a comfortable spot where my muscles weren’t all screaming at me as I tried to get comfortable. When I finally found a comfortable spot I heard my phone start to ring. I groaned and just reached my arm over grabbing the phone.
“Hello,” I mumbled.
“Hey babe, how are you?”
“Levi!” I sat up quickly. Bad move, pain shot through me. I readjusted and sat leaning on the pillows to take the strain off my back.
“Sorry did I wake you, you sound tired?” He asked probably talking about how I was mumbling when I first answered.
“No, I was already awake. I was thinking about laying back down in a little bit.”
“Oh, should I let you go?”
“No, I’d much rather talk to you,” I said smiling.
“Oh, alright,” he laughed a little. “I wanted to know how you’re feeling?”
“Better than yesterday, but still suffering,” I joked and made it obvious that I was joking.
“Well, it’s good you’re feeling a little better. Are you up to the meeting today? I can say Mikasa came to me and asked to switch with good reason if you want?”
“No, I’ll be okay. It’s only a 30-45 minute meeting I should be okay for that time.”
“Well, let me know if you change your mind,” he said.
We started talking about simple little things. How Levi’s day was going, Hanji’s shenanigans, and some of the student’s actions that weren't the smartest. We just talked until lunch ended and he had to get back to work. I laid back down and this time I didn’t have to fight for a comfortable position. I instantly felt comfortable and let my eyes close.
I’m not going to lie I was still a little panicked about the meeting. Especially since Eren is still a little hurt. I care about him a lot and honestly, I’d rather he wouldn’t come if he was hurt since I might actually blow our plan if I see him in pain. I can’t stand seeing him hurting physically mentally. It doesn’t matter if he’s in pain I want to be there for him to help him feel better. I don’t want to sit by and pretend I don’t even know him.
I just took a deep breath as my students started walking in. “Good afternoon Mr. Ackerman.” I heard one girl greet me as she came in and sat down. People don’t usually greet me it was a pleasant surprise.
“Good afternoon,” I said back giving her a little smile before clearing my throat and wiping the smile from my face. I stood up and greeted the class.
After I had finished with the lesson I gave the kids time to work on their homework assignments while I just sat at my desk trying to think of ways tonight my go. So far my thoughts of the meeting weren’t going well I took a breath and tried to switch my negative thoughts into more positive ones. It worked… for a moment. The negative thoughts kept flooding back in.
I just decided to walk around the class checking on all the kids seeing if they needed help and how far they made it on their assignments. Most were just slacking off, some had already trashed their packets. I think I saw only three students actually working on their assignments. I saw two more put the packets in their backpacks. So much for that. I thought giving them time in class might help, but of course not they still refuse to even try.
I just sighed and made my way to the trash bins and grabbed the papers off the top. I wasn’t going to let them waste paper. I’ll give it to the math teacher so they can use it as scrap paper on tests and such. I knew only printing out about 30 assignments for a little over 80 students would work. I would still have tons of extra packets by the time of the last class.
However, after meetings for like a week, I need to print out a lot because more students start “trying” after getting yelled out by their parents. That lasts for like a week and they go right back to not caring. I guess a week is as long as it takes for parents to forget their kids don’t try.
Class ended and I had to stop myself from getting frustrated there were only a few more classes and I still couldn’t shake these negative thoughts. I just sighed and greeted the next class following the same routine as the previous ones. I tried to push the thoughts out of my head. It nearly worked until Mikasa’s class came in and I could tell she looked just as nervous as I felt. This so wasn’t going to end well.
Chapter 38: Meetings
By the end of class, I felt stressed out and distracted. Mikasa looked just ass distracted since I already dismissed the class and she was still sitting in her chair. She hadn’t even heard me when I called her name the first few times. I tried one more time to get her attention, “Mikasa.”
“Huh?” she said her head popping up to look at mine.
“Class is dismissed.”
She looked around with a blank face, “oh,” she said before standing up. She just stood there for a minute before turning to me with a face of mild panic. “Our meeting is in 30 minutes.”
“I know,” I sighed, “believe me I’ve been stressing about it all day.” I sighed before grabbing my laptop. “Now I have to go deal with the meetings, see you both in there.”
She walked out with me and I locked up my room and headed to the math room since that was the class we were having these in since it as the biggest room with the most chairs. When I walked in there was already a few parents and guardians starting their meetings. All of the teachers were already lined up against the wall just talking. They were waiting for kids to stop talking or look over so they could go over and introduce themselves.
We always stuck to the same order. Usually, it was the order in which we were standing the first person would go and as they were walking back the next person would approach. We were told to keep track where the person in front of us went because we would always go in the same order. Lastly, Erwin would come over and close out the meeting.
We all had clipboards that we carried with us with the names of everyone for the day. We would mark them off as we would check in with them and their parents so no one would forget. There was also a separate section next to the kids' name where you would mark if a parent wanted to set up a longer meeting about their kids. We rarely had to check this box since all of our students were seniors. The previous years already had their meetings the weeks before. However, I was the one to usually get the most of these meetings. Probably, since I’m mostly honest about the kids' behavior in class when asked.
I walked over and leaned up against the wall in the same place I always did next to Erwin. I was the last teacher, always. Usually, because I had a tendency to be honest about the kids' behavior in class. If they were an asshole in class then I tell their parents exactly what they did. However, I could tell a lot by how the parent is sitting and usually if I sense something is off and maybe their home life isn’t the greatest then I might bend the truth. I even have written on my whiteboard to come talk to me if you absolutely need me to lie in these meetings. I understand not every parent is loving and well-meaning, but I usually have to interrogate a little to see who is lying and who isn’t.
Erwin told me I always needed to be at the end since parents usually remember the last things said to them, so if some students are actually having troublesome times and their parents need to hear how good they are doing then that is what I’m at the end for. However, I was also put at the end for when I do rip into students that are slacking just for the sake of it so Erwin could minimize the damages.
“Have you seen Hanji?” he asked looking at the doorway with already confused parents standing there.
“No, she’s probably dealing with a kid right now,” I shrugged.
“Are you okay you look… nervous?” He sounded really confused.
“I’m not nervous,” I rolled my eyes and made sure to straighten myself out. “I just hate people, especially parents who think their kids can do no wrong.”
“You have a point there,” Erwin smiled before mumbling, “they can be a pain.”
We turned our heads towards the door when we saw Hanji come in out of breath and she immediately looked at us with an “oh my god” kind of eye roll. Probably since a student came in with a stupid excuse of why they have to go home and tragically can’t make his meeting and that she has to tell their parent that. It happens every year several different times. She started helping people get where they needed to be whether it was to open tables or to point them in the direction of their kid who was trying to make a break for it.
It didn’t take long for the first few students to finish talking to their parents and hesitantly look over to the teachers hoping for us not to seal their fate of misery. The kids who actually tried in classes took a little longer explaining there grades and projects they were actually working on so we when they did finally start looking to us it wasn’t like a deer stuck in headlights, but a proud student waiting to show their parents their progress in the classes.
The first kid looked like he was sweating bullets as he finally looked over in our direction. I just sat back waiting and wishing I had some popcorn. This kid was the biggest troublemaker out of all of the senior classes he never did any work and would constantly disrupts classes… that was if he even bothered to show up at all. I can understand this behavior from kids who have problems at home or who have learning difficulties, but he has no excuse. He is one of the smartest kids I know with the nicest parents.
The only reason I know these things is cause I constantly see him tutoring the kids out at lunch showing them how to do everything from formatting essays and how to write an amazing paper to how to solve the trickiest math equations. I know his parents quite well since they always ask to have meetings with me throughout the year to check up on his progress. This kid has been held back twice now this is his third year of senior year. However, he’s not that much older than the rest of our students. He’s 20 while everyone else is 18 or 19. He was so smart that he actually skipped a few grades in middle school, but in high school, he doesn’t even bother to try. It really is a shame I know he’s capable of so much more than this.
I just wait hoping that this will be the meeting that finally gets through to him. If he keeps this up next year he won’t have a chance to repeat the grade, he’ll just be kicked out and forced to take classes online when he does decide to finally get his act together.
I watched as the teachers tried to drill into him standing over him and talking to his mother who looked so disappointed. She didn’t even look and at this point just sad. When it was finally my turn I decided to take a different approach. This kid was squirming in his chair as I walked up. He knew I was going to drill into him worse than any of the other teachers, that's what I was known for. However, it hasn’t worked these last two years might as well try something different.
Rather than standing and angrily preaching to him, I sat down in the chair next to him. Already he looked confused. Without looking I could feel Erwin smiling at me, probably cause I could see Hanji doing the same thing from the door.
“Dustin,” I said taking a breath, “I want to make sure that you understand that if you keep up this same routine this year that there won’t be a next year for you here. You understand that right?” I asked he just kinda looked at me blankly. Before finally letting a confused look slip on his face.
“What?” he mumbled.
“Next year you won’t be able to attend this school anymore. After you turn 21 you can’t come back. You are allowed to finish out the year when you turn 21, but that's it after that you have to move on.” I explained and saw the horrified look on his face.
“Now, I don’t know what your reason for tanking your grades are, but if you want to get your diploma from here then you are going to have to start taking classes more seriously.”
“But, I like it here,” he finally mumbled.
“Is that the reason you want to tank your grades? Because you like it here?”
He just nodded. “All the teachers are nice and even when I do make a fool of myself they don’t treat me any different in class. You especially, you’re always giving 110% to helping us and making sure we know that you believe in us. I guess I’m just afraid I’ll never be as good as you when I do get a job.”
I honestly just sat there shocked for a minute before recomposing myself. “I know you’ll do great, you are a bright student whose capable of many things.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so. You don’t have to worry too much about giving 110% since I’ve seen you do it before.”
“At lunch, I’ve seen you helping students with everything, and you don’t give up until they understand the material.”
He just smiled really big for a minute before looking up at me and nodding, “I guess you’re right.”
He looked to his mom and just gave her a sheepish smile, “I’m sorry mom, I’m going to start trying harder. I’ll bring my grades up and get my diploma.”
“That’s the spirit.” I smiled.
“I already know what I want to go to college for too.”
“Really? What’s that?”
“I want to be a teacher, like you,” he smiled and I just patted him on the back.
“I think that’s a great idea.” I nodded. I stood up shook his mom's hand before heading back to Erwin giving him a slight nod. He walked over and introduced himself. I really do believe that he’s planning on doing better, the last few meetings he sat there quiet, but this time he actually spoke up and sounded sincere.
The other teachers looked at me some with smiles and the others with confusion. Being a teacher isn’t just about standing over students lecturing them on how they’ve fucked up. It’s actually sitting down and getting to know them and their specific needs. It’s talking to them and figuring out the best way to help. Some kids the lecturing works it scares them straight, others need a softer approach.
The next kid who was having teacher meet with her was another trouble maker, not as bad as Dustin, and unlike him, the lecturing does work on her since her dad writes down points we touch on and makes her fix what she’s doing. As the other teacher talks, I can see the dad scribbling down notes with a determined look on his face as his daughter sits there looking like she was trying to wish herself away from this predicament.
I met with the other parents in the room before the sessions switched. New parents started arriving and the ones in the room left. I had to stop myself from panicking as I saw Eren and Mikasa walk into the room. Rather than focus on them I turned my attention to Erwin and struck up a conversation just as I normally would. We talked about the day and the troublesome students. We both kept our eyes on the parents so we could see if anyone was ready so we could check in if need be, or notify the other teachers if they weren’t paying attention.
I took this time to keep looking over at Eren. He was wearing a jacket and his neck and arms were covered. No one could even tell he was hurt. His lip was the only visible wound, but no one seemed to pay much attention to that which was good. I had worried a little about people noticing he was injured since people tend to act weird and stare at said injuries, and bruises around someone’s neck isn’t exactly a small bruise.
I noticed Eren kept looking up at me that was until Mikasa must have said something cause I saw his eyes shoot down to her as she made a quick gesture with her hands. I also noticed the worried look on Hanji’s face as she looked at me before looking at Erwin. She seemed to be relieved after so I’m assuming he was looking in a different direction.
I felt the nerves build in my chest as the time seemed to slowly go by. It didn’t help that I was one of the last teachers since I couldn’t just get it done and over with I had to wait until the end and of course Erwin was after me. I couldn’t shake my bad thoughts that have been plaguing me all day. This isn’t going to end well.
When Mikasa finally looked over I knew she had taken extra time because she was hesitant about Eren and me talking in the school right in front of Erwin who would be watching me. Teacher after teacher would go over and check in and I felt like that flew by. Makes sense Mikasa is a star student in all of her classes. Just when I had decided that waiting as long as possible was probably better than rushing into it. Before I even had time to think the teacher before me had started returning to her spot.
I just walked over and greeted him.
“Hello, my name is Mr. Ackerman, I’m Mikasa's English teacher.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Ackerman. I’m Eren, Mikasa’s older brother, Oh and her legal guardian.” He said awkwardly rushing that out. I don’t think he was used to introducing himself like that.
“Nice to meet you too. I said before taking a seat to discuss a little about my class and about Mikasa’s grades.” I had tuned myself out as I spoke and I’m sure Eren and Mikasa did too since they already pretty much knew everything I was saying and we were all just hoping this worked. As I finished explaining anything I let a smile out for a split second. We might actually get away with this. “Do you have any questions about my class or your sister’s grade in it?”
“Nope, You and Mikasa seemed to have covered everything.” He said with a nod.
“Alright, well again it was nice meeting you.” I smiled and held my hand out to shake his.
“Likewise.” He smiled shaking my hand.
I turned around and nodded at Erwin signaling for him to go over and he did. I let out a mental sigh of relief and all my anxiety seemed to wash out of me. After Erwin finished up they left and the rest of the day seemed to go by a lot quicker without any trouble. Well aside from me feeling exhausted from the straight anxiety for 45 minutes straight. I swear I held my breath for most of it.
Meetings had ended at 6:00 but some people held back for a moment since either their meetings ran late or they had questions for the teachers. The second the last parent left I was out of the classroom and in my car faster than I thought possible. I called Eren who answered and immediately asked if I could come over. He nodded and I drove straight there. I couldn’t wait to see him and just hug him. All this anxiety coming from me and him and we couldn’t even comfort each other. I could tell he was still in pain with how he awkwardly shifted in his seat and occasionally let a wince slip onto his face. I wanted to make sure he was okay… No, I needed to make sure he was okay.
Chapter 39: Erwin
When I got to Eren’s house I got out of the car and ran up to his apartment. I knocked on his door and the door opened hesitantly. When Eren saw it was me at the door his nervous expression turned into a smile and then into a laugh. He pulled me into a hug as he said, “I can’t believe we did that.”
“Me either,” I said before pulling him into a kiss.
“I’m sorry,” Eren said pulling away from the kiss. “You and Erwin looked like close friends and-.”
I knew where he was going with this and I didn’t want him to feel guilty. It was my choice to lie to him. “As much as I hate lying to Erwin you’re worth it. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I love you too.” I felt his lips back on mine.
“You guys are so sappy,” I heard Mikasa say as she walked up to the door. She just stood in the doorway rolling her eyes. “Now are you two coming in or are you going to spend the rest of the night in the hallway?”
Eren just laughed before taking my hand and leading me into the apartment. I heard footsteps as we walked through the door the Baker’s must be home. Their cookies were amazing Eren still had some left over.
We sat down on the couch to talk about what happened since we were all still getting over our anxiety that flooded us. Eren just looked energize whereas Mikasa and I looked exhausted. He must have had a really good nap earlier to look that rested.
“How are you? You looked so uncomfortable during the meeting?” I had to know if he was feeling okay or not. I know he was at least a little in pain, that is unless I imagined it.
“I’m feeling better now those chairs are really stiff,” he laughed. “I should be completely fine in the next day or two. Well, that’s what I’m hoping for.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re doing better,” I said placing my hand on his.
I walked to my car and just sat there for 5, 10, 15 minutes. I just sat there and stared at the steering wheel. Today had been a long day. I headed home and decided to call Hanji to see if she was busy. She had answered almost instantly.
“Hey, Erwin!” She said happily on the other end of the phone. She was probably doing something with her girlfriend before I called with how loud she greeted me. Then again Hanji’s always loud.
“Hey Hanji, Are you busy?”
“I mean I’ll be free in 10 minutes, I’m just finishing up some grocery shopping,” she said and I could tell she was lying. Especially since I could hear her giggling and shushing someone Yup definitely doing something with her girlfriend.
“It’s okay if you’re busy I’m just bored,” I laughed.
“I’m almost done shopping what did you want to do?”
“Just thought we could all hang out?”
“Yeah, Levi too. Do you know if he’s busy?”
“Um,” she paused, “I actually don’t know what his plans are tonight. He did look super tired earlier. He might have just went home and went to bed.”
“Oh okay, I’m going to call him and see if he’s up to meeting with us tonight if he says he’s tired I won’t push him though.”
“Sounds like a plan. Text me the place and time I’ll be there.”
“Would your girlfriend like to come too?” I asked with a smile letting her know I knew.
“Shit.” I heard her mumble. “I mean she’s at work.”
“Sure, she is.” I laughed.
"Even if she wasn't she would have plans with her friend and wouldn't be able to join," she muttered.
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn't see me doing so, “Anyway, I’m going to give Levi a call.”
“Okay, good luck with that.”
I hung up and clicked to contacts. I hovered over Levi’s for a few seconds. I debated about even calling before finally just taking a deep breath and clicking call. He’s been avoiding me recently and I wouldn’t even be surprised if he didn't answer.
“Hey, Erwin what’s up.” He sounded normal, unlike Hanji who practically screamed my name.
“I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight. It’s been a while since we all hung out and I thought it would be a nice stress reliever since we have a stressful week ahead of us.” I explained.
“Hmm,” here it comes. He’s going to blow me off. “Where and when?”
“Oh,” wasn’t expecting that, “I was thinking scouts pub in like an hour?” I suggested.
He was quiet for a moment before finally speaking, “sounds fun see you there.”
“See you there,” I repeated back and we hung up. Has he stopped avoiding me? That response wasn’t what I expected at all. I figured Hanji was in on his avoidance and would have at least tipped him off to say he was tired or something. Maybe I’m just overthinking this. I just need to talk to him about it and straighten everything out.
When I got to the bar Hanji was the first to arrive, even though she looked a little embarrassed about how I called her out earlier. “Did you and your girlfriend have fun?” I asked and her cheeks exploded with a deeper red.
“No, I told you she was at work,” she huffed before sitting down and ordering a drink. “So no Levi?”
“He said he was coming.”
“Oh, well that’s great!” She said happily, “as long as he doesn’t pass out on us.”
I heard someone sigh behind us and I turned around. “I may be tired but I’m not an old man,” Levi rolled his eyes.
“We’ll be the judges of that,” I laughed and pulled out the chair in between me and Hanji that we had saved for him.
He sat down without hesitance and without a second thought. Maybe he wasn’t avoiding me after all maybe he really was just sick and tired and busy these last few weeks. “Judge away,” Levi said before ordering us a round of shots. Hanji seemed to perk up, I on the other hand immediately regretted challenging Levi. “I hope neither of you drove tonight,” he laughed.
“I didn’t, my girlfriend dropped me off,” Hanji laughed, “I’m planning on getting fucked up.”
“I thought your girlfriend was at work?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
“You know what, fuck you,” she glared playfully before crossing her arms and pouting, “now I really want to get fucked up.”
I just laughed and turned back to Levi who seemed mildly confused but just shrugged it off. “I didn’t drive either I took an uber. I just had a feeling when you two try to outdo each other we all get fucked up.”
“That’s true,” Levi laughed, “looks like we’re all ubering home.” The bartender had finished pouring the shots right as Levi said that. Perfect timing as she set them down she told us, “have fun getting drunk off your asses.”
She was right I’m going to get pretty messed up. I think I have the lowest tolerance level out of everyone. Hanji in next in the line up she’s pretty good at holding her liquor, she’s a lot better than me at least. Lastly, Levi, he can hold it a little better than Hanji, however, he and Hanji often try and compete with who can drink more and get the least fucked up. That’s the reason we don’t go to bars very often instead just dinner and other places where alcohol is less of an issue.
After a few couple of rounds, I finally tapped out. Hanji and Levi went for a couple more rounds and teased me for not joining. God, we’re going to be so hungover tomorrow. Well at least I probably will be, the way Hanji and Levi are acting it’s like they are barely drunk. Well, then again there are certain things they say where you can tell they are as wasted as I am.
“One more round,” Hanji said trying to convince me to join them for the last round.
“Fine,” I gave in. It would be easier to just give in than to argue.
“Yay. Bartender, one more round of double shots!” she said happily.
“Double shots wait Hanji-.”
“Too late, already order them,” she laughed.
“Bring it,” Levi said with a thumbs up. Yup, he’s wasted. Levi giving a thumbs up. That’s a rarity.
When we all called it we headed out we waited to call our ubers as Hanji called her girlfriend. Her girlfriend would take a little longer to get here rather than an uber whose five minutes away. We didn’t want to leave her standing out here alone… hello danger, even though I know Hanji can take care of herself we didn’t want her to have to. So we waited for her to get picked up before calling our own rides.
When Levi and I were alone I didn’t feel like things were awkward anymore. It didn’t seem like he was avoiding me it just felt like I was making everything up. I didn’t even bother to bring up everything that I noticed since it seemed pointless.
“Man we’re going to be so fucked up tomorrow,” Levi groaned with a smile. “Guess the kids are watching a movie based on a book.”
“I’m not even mad,” I laughed. “Honestly if you can handle the sounds of a movie without your head shattering then, by all means, let them watch one.”
“Oh, god my head's going to be pounding tomorrow. Can I put the movie on low?”
“Nope full volume as always or you have to plan a lesson.” I laughed looking at him.
“Fine, challenge accepted.”
“And no headphones or earplugs.”
“What. Fuck you,” he laughed. “Damn you know me too well.” He sat there for a second before turning to me, “At least I don’t have to pretend to be fully functional to parents. I mean I’m better at hiding it behind my usual grumpiness, however, you aren’t.” He laughed again.
“Damn. I’m so screwed.”
“Damn right you are,” He said with a big smile.
“Oh that’s me,” I said looking at the car that just pulled up. It matched the uber I called.
“Alright, go home and get some junk food in you and lay on your side when you go to bed,” he said more seriously and patting my back. “Oh there’s my ride,” he said talking about the car who pulled up behind the other.
“Alright, thanks man. See you tomorrow,” I said before hopping in the car.
The driver dropped me off at my house. I got inside and sat down on my bed. I just sat there thinking. Everything that's been happening, everything that will be happening. I need to know what to do next. Levi’s my friend, he always has and it seems for now he will be for a long time. I know I need to talk to him about what's been happening, but why hasn’t he come to me first. He knows he can come to me if there’s ever a problem.
The problem is he knows there’s a problem but I don’t know if he thinks he can’t trust me or what. He knows he’s lying to me and he knows that Eren is Mikasa’s legal guardian. I know I shouldn’t have followed him, I knew I wouldn't like what I would find, but here I am. Knowing the truth hurts more than I thought it would. Not only is Levi avoiding me, but he was lying to me. I just need to know what to do next.
Chapter 40: Long Day
Hey, guys, I think there’s only going to be one or two more chapters left! Hope you enjoy.
When I got home I collapsed on my bed. I drank too much, I’m just glad I managed to keep my mouth shut in front of Erwin. I knew tomorrow would be torturous, but hey at least I got permission to play a movie in class rather than actually having to make up a lesson. I shot Eren a goodnight text. I thought he would have been asleep by now, but I got a text back almost instantly.
“Goodnight Levi, have a good day at work tomorrow.”
I just smiled and texted him back, “hope your day tomorrow goes good too.” I know he’s worried about going back to work tomorrow since his back wasn’t fully healed. I just hope he doesn’t try and push himself especially since his boss said she is fully aware of his situation and said she would help him out with anything. I laid down and was asleep within minutes.
When I woke up as predicted I was greeted with a pounding headache and the feeling of nausea. I’m so glad drunk me pulled the curtains closed before going to bed. If I woke up to the sun in my face I would have woke up in an even worse state.
I crawled out of bed slowly and got ready. I took a long hot shower with the lights off since my bathroom lights were way too bright, however, I had to get the smell of booze off of me. I finished my shower and got ready brushing my teeth twice before getting ready to leave. I took one look at the fridge and felt my stomach churn. “Nope.” I grabbed an apple and threw it in my bag for later before heading out to my car.
I walked in the school with my head down and my sunglasses still on. Ah, the walk of shame. I can imagine Erwin and Hanji are 10 times worse at the moment. I almost felt the need to laugh at how bad they must look. I knew one thing was certain. If Neil so much as breaths in my direction I’m going to jail.
I got to my classroom and set up my computer and the projector. After getting those situated I hooked the speakers up and as promised I put the volume all the way up. It wasn’t very loud, but to my pounding headache, it was as if a train horn was blaring by my ears. Today was going to be horrible, but it’s better than have to teach all day.
When the first class came in I let out a sigh time to start the headache. I had taken off my sunglasses right as the door opened and kept my eyes wide despite the urge to shut them tight. I perked up at pretended as if nothing was wrong. The last thing you wanted was a bunch of asshole seniors knowing you were hungover. I had them take their seats and took attendance. Once I finished I gave them a smile.
“So, I know you guys have been really stressed these last few weeks and now that the meetings are going on a lot of you guys are on edge. So I thought it would be nice to give you all a break.” I pulled out a movie and all the kids already seemed relieved about it. I set it up and turned out the lights as the kids got comfortable. Some stayed in the chairs others sat at the front of the class others laid on their backpacks like pillows and decided to take a nap. As long as they were quiet I could care less about what they do.
I laid my head on my desk and covered my ears as I tried to stop my headache. The movie was so loud but eventually, I got used to it. By the time Lunch rolled around I was ready for a break. I headed to Hanji’s office and slumped down in a chair. She looked horrible her lights were off and she was curled up in her chair with a trash can nearby. When Erwin walked in he seemed relieved that the lights were off.
“You guys look like shit,” Erwin said and Hanji and I simultaneously glared at him.
“You look worse than us,” Hanji growled.
"Whatever," he sighed. He just slumped down in another chair. He seemed a little off today. Maybe he was more hungover than we thought he was. He kept his head down and was really quiet. He was always pretty quiet, but this was way quieter than usual.
I shrugged it off at first and started up a conversation, "last night was pretty fun. It's been a while since we've all gone out together."
"Yeah, I really had fun even if we are all suffering through hell now," Hanji laughed. I think she had noticed Erwin's odd behavior too since she was looking at him now. "Did you have fun too?" she asked tapping him on his shoulder.
"Yeah, it was fun. I'm just glad everyone could make it since I know recently some of us have been busier than usual," he said and instantly I felt guilty.
"Sorry about that," I mumbled. I couldn't help but feel like Erwin was mad at me. word. never really acted like this before. A moment ago I wanted to comfort him and see what was wrong, but now I feel almost as if I'm not welcome in here.
The room fell silent. Even Hanji seemed to feel this new disturbance in the room. Erwin never really answered again and I felt I had my answer of whether or not I was welcome in here. I just got up and left without another word. Last night he seemed perfectly fine, well he did drink a little more than he usually does, and I guess he did seem a little more awkward at the bar than normal, but other than that he was normal.
I walked back to my room and ran through last night. I still remembered everything to a certain extent since I wasn't blacked out drunk, just mildly drunk. I remember us talking normally up until Hanji left and even after we seemed fine. The last thing I told him was to be safe. Why was he so mad at me?
I just went back to my classroom I sat down at my desk before laying my head down on my desk. Nothing feels worse than this. Just knowing that your friend is pissed off at you and you don’t even know what you did wrong. I felt even more nauseous than before. My headache worsened and I actually felt my eyes sting with tears. I wiped them away and refused to break down here. Not only was I in my place of work, but my door was unlocked and anyone could walk in at any moment.
I was glad that I took a few deep breaths and calmed down when Hanji walked in a moment later. “Hey, are you okay? You stormed out of there so fast that no one had a chance to say anything.” She said, but I knew she was lying. We both knew how long I sat there after apologizing. How everyone heard the hostility in his tone, the anger. I know I didn’t imagine the minutes that passed. I sat there for at least two, two straight minutes of a disturbing and unwelcoming silence.
“Bullshit,” I mumbled back a little harsher than I should have. “He didn’t want me in there.”
“We don’t know that. If we just go back and-.”
“And what? And ask him? Hey Erwin, are you pissed off at Levi? Hey Erwin, do you not want Levi around today? Hey Erwin why do you suddenly hate Levi? I don’t think so.” I felt my own emotions about the situation get to me. I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to crawl into bed go to sleep and wake up from this bad dream.
“Levi, he doesn’t hate you-.”
“How do you know? You aren’t him. You can’t speak for him. You heard what he said and how he said it. He blames me for all of us not hanging out sure if you take his statement at face value, but the anger behind it meant he’s pissed about something else. If you weren’t so stupidly happy all the goddamn time you would be able to see-” I rambled on before stopping myself before putting my hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Hanji.” I said quietly taking a few deep breaths.
“It’s okay,” she said putting a hand on my shoulder.
“No, it’s not. I’m taking out my frustrations on you and that’s not okay,” I said with another deep breath.
She just leaned down and hugged me. “I get it. You’re stressed, and frustrated, but I really think you two should talk,” she said whispering in my ear in that calm soothing voice she always uses when someone’s upset.
“I hear what you’re saying,” I nodded, “but I think we both need some time to cool off so we don’t do anything too rash. I’ll try talking to him tomorrow to see what’s wrong.”
“Well, it’s a start,” she smiled.
She headed back to her empty office since she told me Erwin had stormed out a little after I did and she couldn’t leave her office for very long at lunch since that's when the most student injuries happen. I stayed in my classroom and waited for students to arrive since lunch was ending soon. I just sat there at my desk thinking about what I could have done to upset him. I went through the rest of my classes with my head in my thoughts. That was until it was time for me to head to meetings and I knew I would have to stand next to him for the next few hours.
When I got there nothing I said nothing and neither did he. We stayed quiet all through the meetings just awkwardly standing next to each other. I never realized how long meetings went on for before since we usually spent half the time talking about something, but today the silence was killing me. We were only halfway through before I actually broke and said something to him. It was an inside joke and I said it on instinct. Usually, it’s met with him snickering as he tried to keep a serious face. Today it was met with silence as he ignored what I had said completely. I never had the urge to breakdown in public before, well, until now. I didn’t. I kept a straight face and used the last of my energy to keep a blank face and power through the rest of the day.
We had made it to the end there were a few parents left and they were finishing up talking to teachers. I was approaching the last parent of the day for me. After I had finished talking to the parent I gave Erwin a nod as I started walking away. He passed me as he headed to the parent. “Meet me in my office. I have something I’d like to discuss.” I nearly froze right then and there.
I just took a breath and headed to his office. Hanji had walked by as she finished locking up her room. She was about to approach me when Erwin walked over unlocked his office and gestured for me to go inside without ever breaking his serious yet pissed off looking expression. I watched the panic look over Hanji’s face as she just stared at us. I walked in only to see him shut the door behind me and take a seat in his chair. He waited for me to do the same.
He looked at me for the first time today and there was a glare in his eyes as he finally spoke. “I think we have something we need to talk about.”
Chapter 41: The Talk
"I think we have something we need to talk about," Erwin's words rang in my ears. The tone in which he said it was so distant and cold.
He was right we needed to talk, I was going to wait until tomorrow to talk to him so we would have some time to cool down, but I guess we will do it now. I'm not exactly sure what he's mad about, but I need to know if he expects me to make it better.
"You're right, we do need to talk. You need to tell me why you're pissed at me. I can't fix things if I don't even know what's broken." I stood up a little frustrated.
Erwin just stared straight through me. "You don't have to keep up the act.” his voice was calm but it also held a sense of annoyance. “I know what's been going on." He sounded more frustrated than angry as he rolled his eyes at me.
What's been going on what is he- wait. Oh, shit does he know about Eren. My blood ran cold. That would definitely explain why he's so pissed off. "You know," I said quietly less as a question of if he knew and more as a realization. I just sat back down in my chair and I stayed quiet letting him speak. Man am I in deep shit.
"Of course I know. All this time I thought- you know what it doesn't matter what I thought since, in reality, you were screwing one of your student's legal guardians." I winced I couldn't help it with how he said it. He makes it seem like Eren and I are just fuck buddies, but we are so much more.
I just took a deep breath. I didn't want to get myself into even deeper shit. "Am I fired?" I whispered.
Erwin just stared at me for a moment before he let out a laugh. It wasn't his normal laugh, but it's the most I've actually seen him act like himself all day. "Is that what you thought?" He let out another laugh but this time his harsh expression changed. It wasn't his normal caring expression, but he wasn't glaring at me. "All today and all yesterday I've been trying to figure out what to say, what to do, but firing you was never even a thought in my head."
I just stared at him I felt so relieved in that moment, but also so guilty. Hanji was right, per usual. I should have just gone to him in the first place.
"Look, I know it's kind of a grey area for teachers, the whole sleeping with parents or legal guardians. Some places will fire you on the spot others won't." He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "You thought I was going to fire you?" I gave him a slight nod and he rolled his eyes. "Levi, unless you fuck up majorly, and I mean it would have to be the worst fuck up ever, I won't fire you. You're the best damn teacher here, and you're one of the best damn friends I've ever had. Though Hanji might have beat you to that title now," he said in a more joking tone.
"I mean she knew too so how far could she really beat me out for it?" he just froze and stared at me.
"She knew?" Shit probably shouldn't have said that. The last thing I want to do is piss him off again.
"Well, yeah, but she also told me I should tell you and she told me she hated lying to you, so I guess she is better than me after all." I shrugged. I didn’t need him mad at Hanji for my mistake.
"Did you ever feel guilty about lying to me?" he asked his tone was flat and I couldn’t tell if he was pissed off anymore or not. I couldn't even bring my head up to look him in the eyes. I just stared at the floor.
"Of course. I made myself sick with how guilty I was. Those days Hanji was telling you I was sick I was. I was so guilty and conflicted about lying to you that I made myself sick." I let out a sigh and finally looked up at him, "Ever since I found out he was Mikasa's legal guardian I've felt so guilty, and I still do. Lying to you was the worst thing I've ever had to do.”
His expression showed a change he raised an eyebrow at what I said. I was wondering if he was trying to believe me or if he thought I was telling him more lies. "Wait what do you mean ever since you found out?" He sounded really confused and there was also a bit of relief in his voice.
"Well, when I met him I didn't know who he was," I said quietly.
Erwin stayed quiet for a minute. He finally spoke up giving me a nod as he leaned forward a little almost as if he really wanted to know what I had to say, "Tell me everything."
“Well, I met him at a store. No, actually I first met him at a stop light.” I couldn’t help but feel nervous about telling him about all of this. I knew he would understand, but now everything just sounds silly.
“At a stop light?” he asked wanting me to elaborate a little more.
“Yeah, he pulled up next to me with his radio blaring and I was a little annoyed. I went to shoot him a glare when he smiled at me and started singing along to the radio to me.” This all sounds so silly now, but I couldn’t fight the smile that slid onto my face as I spoke. When I realized I had started smiling I forced it away. I just looked up at Erwin expecting him to not believe a word I was saying, but he was… smiling.
“So that’s how you first met, but you never spoke to each other?” He asked he sounded like he was genuinely trying to understand. I couldn’t help but realize that I must look like a giant ass now. Here he is trying to understand everything and I spent the last few weeks lying to his face.
“Well, I stopped by the store later and he was there. He ended up saying something along the lines of “you’re the hot guy from the car,” before getting really awkward. I ended up talking to him and getting his number.”
“I see.” He said thinking for a moment, “when did you find out that he was related to Mikasa?”
“It was a little while after we had gotten serious about things. It was the first time I had gone to Eren’s place and this guy kept harassing him at his door preaching some bullshit and he asked me to answer it, but this was the type of preaching bastard who knocked on the door multiple times. So when there was a second knock on the door a little bit later Eren had me answer the door and well we were all in for a shock.” I let out a sigh as I slumped back in my chair. I realized how much I was rambling and took a breath. “We were actually going to break up when we found out,” I whispered remembering how scared we were.
“What why?” Erwin said sitting up quickly.
“Well, I thought I’d get fired for being with him, and Eren was worried about CPS finding out.” Before I could say much of anything else Erwin cut me off.
“You really thought I was going to fire you?” He looked at me again with a confused look.
I thought about it for a moment, “Yes, no. I don’t know.” I just sighed.
“So it’s because you don’t trust me?”
“What? No, Erwin, I trust you and Hanji more than anyone. You two are all I have. That’s why I lied.”
He seemed confused still and I know I wasn’t out of the woods just yet he still looked angry a bit, but I didn’t want to ask him which part made him angry. “So what made you two stay together anyway?” He didn’t seem angry about this question, just curious.
“Mikasa did,” I mumble, “she heard us talking about breaking up and pretty much yelled at us. She’s the one who convinced us to stay together. That’s when we decided to lie about everything. We did say if we got caught we would just come clean with everything though.”
“So you decided to lie rather than just tell me in the first place because you trust me?” his expression was unreadable and I couldn’t tell what he was feeling.
“I didn’t want you to have to choose your job over your friend in case you did have to fire me. I thought lying was better than burdening you with a secret that could jeopardize you.” I said quietly.
He just shook his head. “It’s not a choice,” he said before standing up from his chair and walking over to me. In those few seconds, I watched all his anger fade away. I stood up and he wrapped his arms around me. I just pulled him closer everything felt better now. I should have told him earlier, but I’m just glad I have such an understanding friend.
“So how did you figure it out anyway?”
“Well I got worried,” Erwin shrugged, “I knew you had been having a rough few weeks and your behavior was so unusual, and your moods were erratic. One minute you’d be your usual pissed off self the next you were smiling… in public. Then you were severely sick and then the next day you were fine. You were anxious and it was just more emotions in those few days than I had seen from you in years. I thought I’d stop by your house and we could talk and I could see how things were going, I was going to call when I got home, but when I saw you get in your car and go in the opposite direction of your house I got even more worried.” He just let out a sigh, “I didn’t know what to think, I’ve always had a bad habit of jumping to the worst possible outcomes and I guess I let my overthinking get to me.”
“Oh God, what did you think I could be doing?”
“I don’t know, there were a few things that kept coming to mind, but I just know that there was something wrong.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” I raised my eyebrow.
“Fine, one of the thoughts that popped into my head was um… maybe you were on drugs?” He mumbled a little embarrassed.
“Are you serious?” I couldn’t help but laugh at him, “you know I hate drugs more than Neil.”
He just laughed harder than I’ve heard him laugh all day. He caught his breath and finished talking “I know, that’s why I was almost relieved when I saw you with him rather than with some drugs or something. I guess I should have talked to you before getting angry though.”
“I should have talked to you before lying, so I guess we’re even.” I laughed and patted his shoulder.
“Yeah, even,” he smiled, “I’m sorry. I should have had more faith in you,” he whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the whole thing about me thinking it was drugs, I know it was ridiculous, but at the same time I can’t help but be mad at myself about how little faith I had in you at that moment.”
“Hey don’t worry about it. Honestly, if I saw someone acting as weird as I was then yeah I’d probably assume they were on drugs too. I get it.”
“Still it doesn’t excuse how little faith I had in our friendship. After we hung out last night I spent the rest of the night dwelling on the fact you lied and that you didn’t trust me that I started to believe it as fact rather than just talking to you about my concerns.”
“Hey, no worries, Erwin,” I gave him a smile, “We’ve all been there. We’ve all had something bother us and we’ve all dwelled on something for too long. As long as we talk it out in the end and get things straight then we should have nothing to worry about.” I smiled. “Let's make each other a promise right now that next time something happens whether it be a worry, concern or, an issue we talk to each other first before jumping to conclusions?”
“You’re right,” he nodded ”I promise to go to you,” he smiled.
“And I promise to go to you,” I said and we sealed it with a handshake. I let out a laugh and looked up at him. “Now I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot better.”
“Oh definitely.” He laughed too, “there is one more thing.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Well, if it’s alright with you I’d like to meet him as your boyfriend instead of Mikasa’s guardian?” He asked and I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’d like that.”
Chapter 42: Erwin Meets Eren
New story information at the bottom!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I pulled my phone out and called Eren. When he said hello a smile covered my face. “Hey babe,” I said before clearing my throat realizing how much I was smiling. “I was wondering if we could go out tonight?”
“Go out?” He asked thinking about it, “What did you have in mind?”
“Well, there’s someone I’d really like you to meet so, probably just the cafe if that’s okay?” I said asking Eren and Erwin both.
Eren agreed to it and so did Erwin. I didn’t tell him who he would be meeting and he didn’t seem to ask probably knowing I was with whoever that was.
I hung up and looked to Erwin who had a smile on his face. “You must really like him. Your face lit up like a Christmas tree”
“Of course,” I mumbled choosing to ignore anything but, ‘you must really like him’.
We got up and headed to the door where When we opened it Hanji fell in at our feet. “Hello,” She said sheepishly as she laid on the floor. Geez, how hard did she have her ear pressed to the door to actually fall on her face? “I was just, um, ya know-.”
“Eavesdropping?” Erwin said folding his arms and raising an Eyebrow.
“No, I was just… yeah,” she said with a defeated sigh.
“Hear anything interesting?”
“No, your door is too damn thick,” she pouted as she stood0 up.
“Yeah, when I had to get my door replaced I made sure to get a thicker one.”
“When did you have to… oh right.” She said her face going red. She had broken the door when she tried to prank Erwin and it backfired. I don’t know how she ended up scaring herself, but she ended up falling back into the door and putting a hole in it.
“Yup, I knew you listened into conversations before, but now you’re going to have a much harder time,” he smiled before locking up. Hanji just looked at me as his back was turned. Her face had a mixed look of panic and relief.
“He knows,” I laughed.
She froze and then looked at him as he turned around and gave her a smile. “Yup, I know.”
“Does he know-?” She cut herself off.
“That you helped me lie, yup.” Instant panic on her face. I just laughed, “but I also explained how you really didn’t want to and kept insisting that we tell him.”
“That he did,” Erwin said patting her on the shoulder. “Has she already met Eren?”
“Yes,” I said with an awkward expression on my face. The first time they met was when Eren and I were naked. The second time was when she was helping us lie to Erwin.
“What’s with the face?” Erwin asked giving me a confused smile.
Hanji just giggled, “Levi’s got a nice dick,” she said with a bright smile. I just facepalmed. She sounded like a broken tape recorder.
He just looked at me then back at Hanji who I assume had a smug smile on her face. “I see she walked in on you two,” he finally said. I just gave a silent embarrassed nod. “Also, good for you,” he said patting me on the back. I couldn’t figure out if he was congratulating me on having a good dick or getting laid, but I really didn’t want to ask.
“Can we please get going now,” I said starting to walk without waiting for an answer.
“Fine, Hanji you coming?”
“Nope, I have plans with My girlfriend. She’s a lot better than you guys so I’m going to see her instead.” Well, she was very blunt about that.
We all walked out to our cars I told Erwin where to meet us at and texted Eren saying we were on our way to the cafe. He responded by saying he was heading there now.
When I arrived Erwin was a little bit behind me. I saw Eren already at a table and went to meet him. Mikasa wasn’t with him she must have gone to a friends house after school. “Hey, babe.”
“Hey,” he smiled, “so where’s this person you want me to meet?” he sounded confused. That was until I saw his face go pale as he tried to cover his face.
I turned around and saw Erwin walking up and laughed. Erwin just sat down at the table and gave Eren a smile. Eren, on the other hand, had red cheeks.
“Nice to see you again.” Erwin smiled and reached his hand across the table.
“Nice to see you too,” Eren said awkwardly before looking at me with an expression that screamed for help.
“Well, as you can see Erwin knows, and he wanted to meet you. Like the real you.” I explained.
“Oh,” he said a little awkward. “Well, I mean, it would be nice to get to know you too since you are Levi’s friend.” He said and he straightened up a little. He still looked awkward, but not as tense.
Our talk went great and when Erwin left he ended up shaking Eren’s hand and said, “it was nice getting to know you. You two seem really happy together, and I’m happy for you guys.”
After he left I ended up going back to Eren’s house since Mikasa was supposed to be gone for a few more hours. We ended up in his bedroom not even a minute after we entered his apartment.
My lips were on his as we made our way to the bed. I was careful not to hurt him since I wasn’t sure if he was still sore or not. He didn’t seem to be in pain. His hands made their way to my shirt and I lifted my arms and let him pull it over my head.
His hands tugged out my pants and I just laughed, “someone’s excited.”
“Damn right I am.”
I just grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head, not harshly, he could pull his hands out of my grip at any moment. “Let’s take this slow.”
I watched as he bit his lip as I placed a kiss on his neck. I released his hands and pulled his shirt over his head.
I placed a trail of kisses down his chest stopping right above his pants as I unbuttoned them. I slid them off of him and wow he was really excited. I could see his hard-on straining against his boxers.
I felt his hands catch in my pants and let him slide them off. He straddled my lap and his lips met mine. I could feel him grinding against me. God, he’s so sexy.
I looped my finger in the hem of his boxers right as I heard the door open. I immediately pushed his lips off mine and his head whipped around as the door slammed shut again.
“Fucking shit,” I heard Mikasa say from the other side of the door. “Next time put a damn sock on the door. Or answer when I call your damn name.” She said before storming off.
“Well… that was a mood killer.” Eren groaned.
This is the end of this story however I have another Ereri story currently in the works. It should be posted in the next week or two. Here are the story name and summary for anyone who is interested.
Freedom Scouts School for Powered Individuals
It’s an alternate universe where some people develop powers. Powers come in anywhere from the ages of 5-13 years old. Some people are never born with powers, and some people have up to 3. Each power they have usually connects to the others in some way.
However, having powers might seem like an amazing thing. Each power is gained by a traumatic life-altering event known as a person's Power Trigger. The people with the most powers are usually the people with the hardest lives.
Follow the cast of Attack on Titan as they learn to adjust and use their powers. This story will mostly be following Eren and Levi because they are the main pairing, but there may be chapters following other characters around at some points in the story.
A little bit about the universe! So, the school everyone is going too is separated into two age groups. The ages 14-18 on one side of the campus and 19-25” on the other side of the campus. The students have shared dorm rooms. However, there is a thin foldable wall down the middle of the room if the students want privacy. There’s only one bathroom per dorm so some students end up using the public ones placed at the ends of every hall. You can trade dorm rooms with other students if you file the proper paperwork.