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• More Than This •

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He tries not to react, not to touch. Tim is so warm against him...irresistible. He sighs softly in his sleep and Armie gives in, wraps his arm around him and pulls him closer.

The blue light from the nearly silent TV flashes, fills the darkened room with a ghostly glow. He knew they should have turned it off and gone their separate ways hours ago, but the wine and conversation had lulled them both into a langorous stupor, splayed out on the couch, so comfortable in each other's company that calling it a night seemed almost blasphemous.

More wine was poured, limbs became looser, distance shrunk between them until they were eventually cuddled up in the guise of sharing the only blanket within reach.

Timmy had, over time, ended up stretched out beside him, Armie's arm carelessly flung over his head to give Tim space to cuddle beneath his armpit and lay his cheek on his chest with a softly slurred 'is this okay?' His answer - 'of course'....always.

After weeks of spending every waking hour together and sharing secrets as only two souls on a desert island could, there isn't much that he would deny him. It's a little frightening.

He feels Tim shift again, one knee drawing up over him in response to the gentle hug pulling him closer.

Armie holds his breath. This is dangerous territory. Not the innocence of a sleepy snuggle, but his reaction to it.

Tim feels so right against him. He fits perfectly.

Armie reaches down and gently rubs his arm, resists the urge to kiss the top of his head. If Timmy wakes up now, he can pretend that he was rubbing his arm to wake him and ask if he's ready to cross the hall to his own apartment for bed.

He doesn't.

Armie turns his head slightly...then a little more, indulging in the soft earthy scent radiating from the sleepy warmth of the top of his head. He sniffs gently and presses the lightest kiss there. Please, don't wake up now.

His heart stutters a little when Tim makes a little sound and tilts his head back as though seeking the source of whatever disturbed his sleep, but his eyes aren't open and he quickly settles again...problem is, now his mouth is barely a breath away from the skin of Armie's neck. He can feel the tip of his nose pressed against his jugular and the warm current from his mouth.

He should wake him. He should wake him. He should...

Tim nuzzles into him, presses his body closer.

Armie swallows and tries not to tense up. He can feel the swell of Tim's soft cock press against the side of his hip.

He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to move...tries not to...stimulate.

Fuck...he's so warm and pliant. He wants to reach down and pull his leg higher, bring him closer. 

What the fuck is he thinking? This isn't right and he should stop it now.

"Tim?"

Timmy shifts his hips subtly, opens his mouth against Armie's neck.

Oh god. Armie feels him stir against the pressure of his hip. Was it his voice? No. It's nothing...sweet dreams and proximity.

"Tim." he whispers again, intending it to be louder than the first time, but his throat has constricted.

"Mm..." his hand moves over Armie's chest to the side of his ribcage, lazily pulling him closer, thigh sliding up to cover Armie's half hard cock.

Armie curses silently. Screws his eyes shut and wills his body not to betray him. He resolves to just be still and let him sleep. Embarrassment can be avoided if he's just willing to endure the backache tomorrow. They'll wake up in the morning with sheepish grins. Blame the wine. No harm, no foul.

Seconds pass. His heart slows from a gallop to a trot. He can do this.

Then, sleepily..."Is this okay?"

The words, though barely audible, burn against his skin.

Tim kisses his neck. It feels hesitant. Seeking permission to continue.

"Tim, you know it's..." - not. He can't finish the sentence. Can't breathe.

"Can we pretend? Just for tonight?" Tim asks, still quietly but more clearly.

Armie closes his eyes and breathes slowly. He knows the answer he should give, but as his hand moves of its own volition and settles on Tim's thigh to hold him in place, he also knows he won't say it.

"Please?" Tim kisses him again, his mouth soft and warm against Armie's throat.

"...yes."

He feels Tim's smile against his skin. "I was dreaming...about the berm. I heard your voice."

He can feel every movement of his lips...can feel him growing harder, nudging against him. So it was his voice that stirred his body....Armie squeezes Tim's thigh just above his knee, his fingers wrapping around as he presses down and feels his own cock swell against the weight of it.

Tim mouths at him and circles his hips, fully hard now and seeking more than lazy pressure.

"What...what was the dream?" his voice comes out thick, the arm around Timmy's back sliding lower, hand pressed to his lower back to encourage his movements. God, what is he doing?

"You didn't stop me." he whispers, then shifts his weight so that he's more on top of Armie than beside him. He keeps his face buried in his neck, slides his mouth up close to Armie's ear as he grinds gently against his hip bone and nudges his slim thigh between Armie's legs. "I haven't stopped thinking about how you felt against my hand...you were getting hard."

"Oh fuck..." And I'm hard now, he thinks...so.fucking.hard. He slides his hand lower and cups Timmy's ass. "Tim..."

"Armie...do you—"

Armie quickly reaches up and pulls Tim's mouth to his, silencing him with a kiss before he can drag the truth from him. He can't lie. He could never lie. Not to him. He's terrified.

Tim whimpers into his mouth softly, his hips rutting with more pressure as the kiss deepens.

Tim pulls away for a breath, his lips still close, eyes closed and brow pinched. "I want—"

"You know we can't..."

Tim opens his eyes and looks at him for a long moment with his teeth working his bottom lip. "Just this then. Can we just have this?" he whispers shakily.

Armie nods silently and tilts his head, seeking his lips again.

They kiss softly, both of Armie's hands wandering over Tim's back, pushing up beneath his t-shirt to find soft, warm skin. He doesn't know why it surprises him...he's touched him before and knew what he would feel like, but this is not Elio...and the response is all Tim.

Tim slides lower, rubs himself harder against the top of Armie's thigh, straddling him now and unabashedly seeking the friction he needs, making quiet needy noises as Armie's hands slide over him. "Can I touch you? Please?"

This has already gone further than he intended to let it, but he can't very well say no when he's already been pawing at Tim liken he belongs to him. "Yes."

Tim pants and reaches down to tug Armie's shirt up. His fingers are cool and nimble, quickly sliding up to the hair on his chest and burying themselves there like they belong. He brushes over to Armie's nipple, circling slowly as he grinds his thigh down between his legs.

Armie nearly dislodges him with the jolt of pleasure that has him arching up into the touch. "Tim—" he chokes out in a harsh gasp.

Tim drags his mouth away from Armie's and buries it against his neck again as he abandons his chest and slides his hand down his belly.

Armie tenses as his fingertips catch at his waistband, but Tim continues down over his sweats to cup him through them.

"Oh fuck - goddamn, you're so hard..." Tim moans, squeezing him and rutting more rhythmically now. He starts to rub him, his fingers bunching the fabric as they curl around Armie's cock and begin to stroke. 

Armie is dizzy from it, his hands still on Tim's back. He's tensed with pleasure, his brain pinging between the friction at his cock and the wet heat of Tim's mouth working against his neck.

"Please touch me..."

Armie snaps out of his daze at the desperate tone in Tim's voice. He glides his hand down his back...lower...lower.

Tim moans and arches his ass up like a cat in heat. "Please."

Don't do it. Don't do it. Armie's hand slips beneath the waistband of Tim's sweats and he silently thanks god that he's wearing underwear because he didn't even take a second to consider if he wasn't.

Tim bites at him, squeezes him.

Armie feels the flex of muscles as he grinds on him...the separation of his cheeks when he draws back before rocking forward. He's helpless to resist...hand slipping lower, fingers finding the heat of his crevice beneath thin cotton.

Tim sobs out a broken 'yes' and nudges back, seeking his fingers.

Armie's core tightens, he feels a surge of heat leave him, his head sliding against the wet pool of slick collecting on his lower belly as Tim works him.

There. The intense heat, a deeper depression...Tim's hole pulsing greedily against the pad of his middle finger.

"Ohfuck —"

Armie presses, rubs, pulls back and circles gently. 

Tim shudders and whines, every muscle in his body tensing at once. 

"God...Tim..."

"Please—"

He presses again, rubbing a bit harder, the cotton puckering at his fingertip as he pushes against it and feels Tim's muscle give just slightly.

Tim sobs and stills, biting down on Armie's neck as his cock stiffens and pulses between them.

He keens softly, hips twitching as Armie rubs him through his climax, sudden heat soaking through the fabric to wet Armie's fevered skin.

Tim's hand has stilled against him, and some twisted part of him is grateful for that. He didn't come. He made Tim come, but he didn't come. That's got to count for something, right? He shifts to gently dislodge his hand, though it physically pains him to do so.

Tim has melted against him. His breath coming in little shuddry puffs, lips slack at Armie's throat.

He pulls his hand out of Tim's sweats and rubs his back tenderly until he stirs again - kisses his forehead. "There's some fresh shorts in the bathroom. Why don't you go get cleaned up?"

Tim pushes up and looks down at him. "But..."

Armie shakes his head. "Just...give me a minute. Okay?"

Tim nods, his expression troubled as he disentangles himself and pushes up to leave.

It's not possible for Armie to hide the wet spot at the tip of his cock straining against his sweats as he sits up, so he just gives Tim a wry little grin and waves him off when he glances back at him. "Take your time."

Armie drops his head back against the cushions as Tim rounds the corner, takes a few deep breaths to try to calm himself, but he knows there's no avoiding it.

He hesitates for only a second before slipping the hand that he'd touched Tim with down into his pants as he hears the shower turn on. He's so wet...throbbing. If he brings himself off it's not cheating, right? He mutters soft curses as he spreads a thick drip of pre-come down his length. This won't take long...still...he savors it, closes his eyes with echoes of Tim's whimpers in his ears.

He doesn't hear Tim come back into the room....step quietly over to stand just a few feet from him.

Armie glides one hand over his chest, remembering the feel of Tim's fingers at his nipple...amazed that he somehow seemed to know how sensitive he would be. He strokes himself slowly, lulled into relaxing by the sound of the shower running.

Tim watches...inches closer. A floor board creaks and Armie's eyes fly open, his hand immediately withdrawing from his pants.

"Sorry! Sorry - I'm sorry."

"Tim- what the fuck?!"

Tim swallows and slowly drops to his knees in front of Armie, one hand on either of his thighs. "Don't stop..."

Armie's mouth opens, but he can't think what to say. His cock twitches impatiently, heart racing.

"I promise I won't touch you if that's what you need...just...don't stop."

"Tim, I can't — I can't jack off with you watching me." It sounds more like a question than a statement of fact.

"Armie, I just rubbed myself off with your finger teasing my asshole. Don't tell me this is any more embarrassing than that. Just...I...want to watch. Please?"

Armie bites his lip and swallows hard. Tim wants to watch him. That should really be more unsettling than it actually is. He closes his eyes and rests his head back again as he tentatively moves his hand back down toward his waistband. He takes a peek and finds Tim's eyes focused on that and not his face....it somehow makes it easier. He reaches in and takes himself in a loose grip, gives a few slow strokes. He hears Tim breathing a little faster and opens his eyes again for just a second. The look on his face is nothing short of hunger, and Armie is immediately more aroused than he's ever been in his life. He uses his other hand to push his sweats down just slightly, revealing the pale skin where his treasure trail starts to thicken.

Tim inches closer, his grip tightening on Armie's thighs. He flicks his eyes up to Armie and damn if that look doesn't blow all of Armie's inhibitions away like a strong north wind.

He pushes his sweats down lower, revealing the hand swirling around the head of his cock before sweeping lower and exposing himself fully.

Tim gasps and leans down to bite at Armie's knee.

"Tim...."

Tim tears his eyes away to look up at him. "Please, let me? No one has to know..." His fingers dig into the tense muscles of Armie's thighs. He licks his lips and mouths another silent 'please'.

Armie's breath shudders in his chest. He never stood a chance, did he? He wants this...more than this. He's a selfish bastard and he wants it all. He lets go of his sweats and reaches out to cup Tim's cheek tenderly.

Tim nuzzles into his palm and moves closer, his mouth open softly. His hands slide up Armie's thighs, bracketing his cock, thumbs pressing into the tender skin at either side of his balls. He lowers his mouth, now only a breath away from the tip, his eyes soft and dark with want, reflecting all the need screaming from the deepest corners of Armie's heart.

Armie gives him the tiniest nod, the hand on his cock his stilling, holding himself erect for Tim to take as he continues to rest his palm against his warm cheek.

The first brush of his tongue has him rushing toward the edge of oblivion, he quickly slides his hand down and squeezes hard at the base of his cock to keep from going off all over Tim's face embarrassingly fast.

Tim closes his eyes and kisses him, laps at him, makes the most obscene little noises as he opens wide and takes him in.

"Oh god, Tim—" Armie's hips buck up to meet him, his orgasm coiling tight and hot deep in his core.

Tim slides down once...twice.

Armie tries to nudge him off but he resists, drops further, moans deep and long around him as he takes in all that he can.

Armie starts chanting his name until the first wave crashes over him and steals his breath. He fills Tim's mouth so quickly with the first surge it dribbles from the corners, and the sight is enough to send him to his peak with a shouting cry.

Tim follows every cue, softening his mouth and suckling him gently through every ragged breath and rapid pulse until Armie goes limp against the couch cushions.

When Tim finally pulls off and rises to his feet, he's flushed and straining against the wet patch he made earlier in his boxer briefs. He drops onto Armie's lap and kisses him with his arms locked possessively around his neck. "Come shower with me."

Armie slowly comes back into the moment, eyes hazy, the taste of himself on his tongue. He smiles lazily, searching himself for some trace of guilt at what they just did, but with Timmy squirming in his lap and looking at him like that, all he finds is an ache for more.