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Jacaranda Trees ( Rewrite)

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I looked at the tree at the edge of the green field. It was much taller than the many surrounding trees. Ever since the day I found the tree I’ve felt drawn towards it. Before today I never knew why but now I do. I wiped the tears that fell out of my eyes. I’m sick of being alone and being invisible to everyone in the world. I took a step out into the sun. No one cares about me. A wave of deja vu hit me. I shoved it aside. I started walking towards that tall tree moving faster with every step I take. No one will notice if you disappear .  Before I knew it I was by the tall tree. I looked up at the branches. After tossing my backpack aside I gripped a low branch and started climbing the tree. You should help this world by leaving it. I only stopped once I found the strongest branch about 20 feet up. I stood on top of the branch feeling the heat of the sun on my face. I felt like the sky goes on for forever. Another wave of deja vu hit me, I ignored it. The tree was tall enough that I could see even the area around the park. It was beautiful. I didn’t take long to admire the view. I leaned backwards off the branch my hands gripping on to the branch above me. I pushed off of the branch I was holding on to and let go.

I was now plummeting towards the ground. Long before I let go I knew the outcome of the fall would ether change my life or end it. Evan what the fuck did you just do? When I first climbed that tree I wanted to die, but now I want to live. I made a terrible mistake and it’s too late to fix it. I closed my eyes hoping the fall would just end.

I hit the ground with a thud. My arm burned then went numb. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I started panicking which didn’t help me. I’m going to die, i’m going to die. I tried to control my breath. In and out, in and out. After trying a few more times I was able to breathe again. The light seemed too bright and every time I closed my eyes to blink the effort to open them up increased. Eventually I stopped trying to open my eyes letting the darkness take me.

I opened my eyes to the blurry branches of the forest.  I don’t know how much time had passed. All I know is no one had helped me. It wasn’t a surprise as no one cared about me. I mean this is exactly  why I let go of that tree. I’m noting to the world. I felt sick, everything hurts and I have one of the worse headaches I’ve ever had. The good thing is I was able to move everything besides my left arm. Which was bent at a weird angle.  When I do move it burns and causes a wave of nausea. Then I realized my glasses were gone. Good job Evan, you have to explain your arm and glasses. Glasses are expensive and she has to deal with therapy and pills already. The thought of having to explain this made me  wish the fall killed. Can’t you just make up your fucking mind. Either you want to live or die how hard is it.

I started to cry again. Yet again in that time no one came to help me. I gave up on the idea that someone would help me and started to get up.  Which was easier said than done as my back hurt with every small movement. Though in that time I found where my glasses were. They survived the fall with little damage. That’s the only good thing about this situation. It means this would make me less of burden to my mom.


Once I was able to sit up without that much pain I felt something fall on my leg. I looked down and was met with a snake.

It was mainly blue. The area below its jaw and it’s belly up to its tail was black. The scales on top of his head were a somewhat translucent white. Like the black markings the markings ended at the tip of its tail.


As I looked at the snake I noticed there was something not right about its appearance. There were two long white scales hanging off it’s head, too solid and strong to be scales and there were two strange shapes on its body. I reached for the shapes and the snake pulled away a little. It then looked at me with it’s two intelligent green eyes. The shapes moved and opened. They were two small wings. The snake wasn’t a snake, it was a dragon.

Instead of freaking out about the existence of the dragon I slowly reached towards it with my right arm. The dragon gave my hand a nose bump the feeling of it’s scaly snout felt oddly comforting. It looked at me and gave me what looked like a reassuring smile. A smile that said everything’s going to be okay . I let out a weak laugh. For once I didn’t feel alone.  The semi sweet moment ended when I accidentally moved my left arm .The burn and the nausea returned. The dragon looked at me and looked towards the field I came through as if to tell me you need to get out of here. I got the message. It took awhile for me to get up all the way. I could tell this concerned the dragon. I walked to my backpack and let the dragon climb on top of it before walking back the way I came.

By the time we got to the ranger station I had thrown up once, fell four times and nearly fell countless times. Most of it due to my legs. Before walking into the building I opened the bag for the dragon to climb in. I couldn’t just walk in with a dragon on my backpack. I took a few moments collect myself and  to come up with a lie as to how I got hurt. I evantly came up with, I was climbing a tree a branch broke and I fell. After taking a deep breath I opened the door and walked to ranger Gus’ office. He was in the middle of filling out paperwork. He never heard me walk in, of course he didn’t no one does.

 

I let out an awkward um. Wow you can’t even say hi or hello like a normal person. No wonder why you let go of that tree.

He looked up at me.

“ hey Evan.” He sounded very annoyed

 

Of course he was annoyed. Every time someone sees me they think “oh hey it’s that seventeen year old who can’t talk to people properly” or are just annoyed. The only exception is my mom, but who knows maybe she feels the same about me but is just good at hiding it.  

 

“ I wa-was climbing this tree and I le-a branch br-broke and I, fell.” Good job Evan you can’t even lie without messing up   

 

“ Are you ok? Do you need to go to the hospital or anything?”

 

Before I could answer Ranger Gus saw my left arm.

 

“ You are going to the hospital. You need to have that arm checked out.” Ranger Gus said grabbing his keys,

 

I nodded and followed him. When I got into the car he took out my phone. With my good arm I opened my phone and started texting my mom

 

Evan: Hey mom I was climbing a tree and I let go of it. I just have a broken arm. But don’t worry I’m ok.  I’m on the way to the hospital right now see you then.

 

Before I hit send I realized if I told my mom i purposely let go of the tree it would break her. In this case it would be better to lie.  

 

Evan:  Hey mom I was climbing a tree and the branch broke. I’m ok just a broken arm and probably a few bruises. I’m with Ranger Gus and on the way to the hospital.


Definitely better than the first text. I hit send and closed my phone the light was hurting my head.


The rest of the car ride was a blur to me. after sending the text it left me nearly alone with my thoughts, as ranger guy drove silently. I still can’t believe I tried to killed myself. Though I know this would happen at one point. Ever since the beginning Sophomore year I’ve had thoughts of offing myself but back then I could always push them aside. Today I couldn’t. I don’t know why.

 

Ranger Gus tapped me on my shoulder. “ Hey kid were here.”

 

I nodded and followed him into the doors of the hospital.

 

When I came back out of the door of the hospital two hours later I had a white cast on my left arm and a minor concussion. My back and legs were also badly bruised. The doctors said I was lucky to alive. I wouldn’t call it lucky. I now have to live with the fact I tried to kill myself and the fact I was still alive. I had to take the bus as I don’t drive and my mom wasn’t able to get off of work . When I found out I barely stopped myself from crying right then and there. I just want her to be there just for once. I just tried to kill myself and I needed someone there more than ever. I then remembered the dragon. The dragon was there for me. Even if it can’t understand what is happening at least it was there for me. At least it was something.