Chapter 1: January 1st: New Year's Kiss
The Juuban district in Tokyo seemed like an awkward place, if you were in the middle of it. The new year was about to start, but there was 2 different energies spreading in the city. One was a happy, joyous, normal energy. Some people were at the Tokyo Tower, partying it up and waiting for the tower to turn different colors and the balloons to rise. But most people were worried, standing by a nearby store. Someone tried to go in and shoot everyone, but if you were a resident of Juuban, you'd know for a fact that that would never happen. Why? Oh, because the Sailor Senshi always showed up whenever something bad happened. Sailor Moon was already sleeping with Chibi Moon, Mars was having a party at her shrine and Venus, Jupiter and Mercury were there. But there were four Senshi who threw away their New Year's plans just to fight and save Tokyo. Sailors Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and Saturn were at work, punishing the shooter.
The shooter was running, but Uranus and Neptune ran faster. Saturn had already fallen asleep in battle, so Pluto was carrying her and couldn't do much.
"Are you ready, Michiru?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"But will you kiss me at midnight?'
"We can't talk about that right now."
"WORLD SHAKING! DEEP SUBMERGE!"
The crowd erupted into cheers as the attack struck the shooter. Auld Lang Syne played in the background as the cop car drove in the joyous streets, grabbing the now weak shooter and taking him to jail. When it drove away, there was more cheering, but nobody could make out what the crowd was saying.
"HAPPY NEW YEARANUS AND NEPTUNE!" is what it sounded like.
Sailor Uranus wasn't phased at any of the noise. She was just staring at Sailor Neptune, who was blushing and looking down.
"What do you want, Neptune?"
"It's past midnight, but can we kiss?"
At that sound, Pluto fell, not because of any attack. Because her daughter, Sailor Saturn, woke up at the noise and jumped out.
"URANUS-PAPA AND NEPTUNE-MAMA ARE GONNA KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!", she yelled to the cheering crowd.
"Ok, Neptune.", said Uranus. "I know this is late, but who cares about a time on a clock."
As the two leaned in, a happy Saturn started pumping her fist and raising her glaive, counting down all over again.
"5! 4! 3! 2! 1!"
Hands were on necks, lips on lips, toes touching each other.
The crowd went wild, and Saturn yelled again.
"THIS IS BETTER THAN THE STUPID STRAIGHT KISS CAM! HAVE A GAY OLD NEW YEAR!"
Chapter 2: Notes To Self
Not a drabble, but I'm just listing some Japanese holidays/Senshi birthdays/airing dates of special SM episodes I might forget about so I can write proper fanfic for those days.
6/30- Moon and Chibi Moon's Birthdays
7/7- Tanabata Festival
9/10- Mercury's Birthday
9/17- Respect For The Aged Day
9/23- Autumn Equinox
10/8- Health and Sports Day
10/22- Venus's Birthday
10/29- Pluto's Birthday
11/3- Culture Day
12/5- Jupiter's Birthday
Chapter 3: January 2nd: Clover-WHAT?
Our lovely couple finds out about the Cloverway dub where they were treated as cousins, and chaos ensues.
thanks @sailor_memes.exe for the iconic "this is trash" quote follow her on ig because she is my best friend in the sailor moon fandom
"Haruka-papa! Michiru-mama!", shouted Hotaru from the living room. "I found something really stupid on Setsuna-mama's computer!"
The two lovers rolled their eyes at this statement. Usually when Hotaru goofs around on Setsuna's computer, she either ruins Setsuna's work or writes an entire 5-page essay about a random topic she generated. Like for example, she wrote an essay about the tradition of eating Kentucky Fried Chicken on Christmas in Japan last week. Or the time where she wrote three essays, one about each of her three moms. "What is it?", asked Haruka. "I still can't believe this is real, but it is!", yelled Hotaru. "They changed something really important in our anime in America!" Curiously, Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother and ran to the computer.
The computer had a site online that read "Lesbians Turned To Cousins? Thanks Cloverway!"
Upon reading the headline, Haruka and Michiru yelled "COUSINS?" Hotaru sadly nodded. "And that's not all they did! They took out all the good stuff, and added stupid PSAs, and made some gay villains from before we started straight, and they didn't even air the season with the Starlights!"
"WHAT?", yelled Haruka and Michiru. Haruka then added, "I mean, thank god America didn't have to deal with, ugh, Seiya, but they didn't see our beautiful family! And our gayness! And everything that makes us unique!" Hotaru then clicked on a video called "Cousins".
The video started, and it went to a scene where Haruka and Michiru were entering a love contest. The voices said, "Look, here come Amara and Michelle!"
"Who's Amara? Who's Michelle?", asked Hotaru. "I don't know.", said Michiru.
The video continued, "Why do you think they've entered the contest? They're girls, and cousins, too!"
Haruka and Michiru grabbed onto each other like they just saw a jump-scare in a rated R-15+ horror movie. "NOOOOO!", they shouted. "This is TRASH!"
Setsuna came running in, with nothing but her senshi uniform on. "I was going to take a shower, but I heard you guys screaming, so I just transformed. Are you guys fine?"
"Is it a monster? Did Hotaru age? Did Seiya-"
"No, worse than all those combined, Setsuna. They turned Haruka and I into COUSINS in America!"
"That's terrible! I'm going to go to the door of space and time and have America make a version that keeps all your amazing gloriness."
And so, Setsuna went, and the Viz dub was born.
So if you stan the Viz dub like me, thank Setsuna.
Chapter 4: January 3rd: Bless The Rains
Haruka and Hotaru team up to get Michiru to cover "Africa" at her next violin concert.
Michiru was still sleeping. It was 8:30 in the morning, but she had no clue what her lover and daughter were doing.
"IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU!", Haruka and Hotaru were screaming in the living room. "THERE'S NOTHING A HUNDRED MEN OR MORE CAN EVER DO! I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA! GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO DO THE THINGS WE NEVER HAAAAAAAADDD!"
"I love this song!", yelled Hotaru over the loud music. "Me too, Hotaru!", yelled back Haruka. "But you know what would make it better?"
"What if we got Michiru-mama to play it at her concert tonight!"
Screaming was heard from Hotaru. "OH MY GOSH YES! But how would we be able to get her to do it?"
Five minutes later, there were footsteps and whispers in Michiru's bedroom.
"Do you think this is gonna work?", asked Hotaru.
"Yes, kitten. I accidentally blasted a song one day, and she ended up playing it."
A button was hit, and loud music started blasting out of the radio. As Haruka and Hotaru ran away, Michiru woke up to the song. She laughed and turned off the radio, her messy blue-green hair bouncing in the air. "I see what you want, my love."
An hour later, Hotaru, Haruka and Setsuna were at the table, eating breakfast when they heard some noises on the violin. What is that?, wondered Haruka. But then she realized the familiar tune, and smiled.
I knew this prank was gonna work out.
Cheers filled the Tokyo Dome as Michiru finished one of her songs. Despite it being a sold out crowd, Haruka still cheered the loudest out of everyone, standing after every song. After the applause died down, Michiru said, "This is my last song."
This is it!
"This is for my one and only lover, Haruka Tenoh. Enjoy!"
She then proceeded to play the song more beautiful than any other version Haruka ever heard.
I love Michiru. I really do. She can even make the most rocky song so elegant and beautiful.
We were meant to be.
Chapter 5: January 4th: Where Is My Lip Rod?
The lip rods go missing, and IDK why they're called that but I'm just going with the official translation.
It was a rainy afternoon, and all was calm in Tokyo. Unless you were in the Tenoh/Kaioh/Meioh/Tomoe house. Then, it was chaos.
Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna all ran into the kitchen and looked at each other, screaming the same exact thing.
"DID YOU GUYS SEE MY LIP ROD?"
"Wait, your's is gone too?"
The three girls looked at each other and nodded. Without their lip rods, they couldn't transform, and they couldn't be without them at all times.
"Shouldn't we just ask Hotaru?", asked Michiru, but Haruka shook her head. "She's having a playdate with Chibiusa, there's no way she'd know."
But they knew what to do. Search the whole house.
The kitchen turned into a tornado, with food flying everywhere and clutter scattered around the room. Not there.
Haruka and Michiru's room got dirtier than usual, and the search broke one of Michiru's violins and two of Haruka's trophies. Not there, either.
They knew to be careful in Setsuna's room, as there was a lot of science equipment, but the knowledge was no use. An explosion occurred after spilling a test tube, but there was no sign of the lip rods anywhere.
Living room? Nowhere.
Bathrooms? Nothing but toilet paper and tampons.
Dining room? Just a table and chairs.
After a while, they looked everywhere but Hotaru's room. "It can't be there.", said Setsuna. "I guess we have to check the garage, then!"
Both Haruka's regular car and race car had nothing in there, and neither did all three of the helicopters. They even checked Hotaru's toy Jeep just to make sure, and nothing was there.
"Well, I can always go get new ones from Neo-Queen Serenity.", said Setsuna.
"But don't you need to transform first? Let's just ask Hotaru.", said Michiru.
They didn't know it, but that decision would've been the simplest solution ever.
In Hotaru's room, a battle was going on. It wasn't between, say, a youma and a Senshi, but it was between Hotaru and Chibiusa. But they weren't in their usual forms, per say.
"DEEP SUBMERGE!", yelled Hotaru. The powerful attack hit Chibiusa to the ground, but she got up. "SPACE SWORD BLASTER!", Chibiusa fired back. The girls laughed and continued fighting, but there was a knock on the door.
The three Outers came in to the room, in shock. Hotaru was dressed in Neptune's uniform, and Chibiusa was dressed in Uranus's. Setsuna's Lip Rod was on the ground, acting like it was just a little toy.
"What were you guys doing? You know not to mess with those things, and plus, you have your own transformations!", yelled Setsuna. "We were worried sick!", added Haruka, and Michiru nodded her disapproval.
"But me and Chibiusa were playing the video game, but then our controllers died, so we just decided to play the real thing!"
"But you guys are in there too!"
"Come on, they made that game before Hotaru awakened, and I'm the worst character to play as. We were just playing as who we picked in the game!"
Chibiusa then was driven back home, and Hotaru was in her room, sad.
She was grounded. On her birthday weekend.
Chapter 6: January 5th: Happy Anniversary
It's been five years since HaruMichi met.
I don't know the real date of when they met, but I felt like writing this today because it's my anniversary on my blog.
It was nighttime, and Haruka and Michiru were in bed, alone.
"It's been five years since I first laid eyes on you, my love. Five years of miracle romance.", said Michiru.
"Yeah.", replied Haruka. "These five years have been amazing, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Because you support me."
"Because you're so sweet, and you complete me."
"I love you!"
The two embraced for a second, and then kissed a long, passionate kiss.
After ten minutes of making out, the happy couple got their bags and exchanged them. It was a tradition of theirs to give each other two gifts on their anniversary- one real, one gag.
Michiru went first, digging in and pulling out a tiny package. "That's the gag one!", Haruka yelled. Michiru laughed, opened it and laughed again.
It was a violin, but not just any violin. It was a toy violin, complete with a tiny bow and buttons to play simple nursery rhymes. "Screw complicated pieces! Next concert, I'm playing the intellectual song Mary Had A Little Lamb!"
After laughing for five minutes, Michiru opened the bigger box and screamed. "NO! DID YOU REALLY?"
"Yep, I did."
Michiru was going to Australia and playing the Sydney Opera House, and then to America to play the Madison Square Garden.
"OH MY GOD THANK YOU! I don't think I topped that, but go on, open your gifts!"
Haruka got out a little envelope and a wrapped present. She went for the envelope first, assuming that was the gag gift, but Michiru shook her head. "Open the bigger one, that's the gag gift."
"You know how to get me good," said Haruka as she ripped the wrapping paper. She was right- previously, Michiru got her an empty shopping bag, tickets to a Three Lights concert on another planet and one of Hotaru's old baby rattles. But this year, Haruka shouted, "Setsuna's gonna be PISSED!"
It was a matching set of T-shirts, one for Michiru, one for Haruka and one for Hotaru, that read "Pluto is a dwarf planet." "This is so funny! That violin was nothing compared to this."
The envelope was then taken out, with a photo and a note inside.
"The real gift is too big to fit, but I got you a Lamborghini."
"HOLY SHIT THAT'S CRAZY! THAT'S CRAZY MICHIRU OH MY FUCKING GOD! IT'S A FUCKING LAMBO! THANK YOU MICHIRU! I LOVE YOU! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!"
Chapter 7: January 6: The Proposal
Chibiusa has something for Hotaru.
I’m a hardcore Hotarusa shipper oops
There was a knock on the door, and Michiru went to answer it, even though they weren’t expecting any visitors.
A short, pink haired girl was at the door, with a small box in her hand. “Hey Michiru! I was wondering if I could see Hotaru, you know, for her birthday.”
“I’m sorry, Hotaru’s grounded. You know, for taking our lip rods.”
“But it’s her birthday! And that was my idea, so she shouldn’t be grounded.”
“You know what, I’ll let you see her. You’re her best friend, after all.”
“Yay!”, Chibiusa shouted as she ran into Hotaru’s room. “Can you and Haruka and Setsuna come in Hotaru’s room, too?”
“Sure!” And with that, Chibiusa ran into Hotaru’s room, smiling with her girlfriend’s three moms.
The two best friends embraced, and Haruka and Michiru stood by each other, smiling while Chibiusa got on her knees.
“Hotaru, I really love you, as more than just a friend. You make me smile, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So in the future…”
She opened the box, revealing a ring. Haruka and Michiru gasped in delight, and Hotaru was in shock.
“Do you want to be Queen Saturn of Crystal Tokyo?”
“NO! You’re kidding! Of course!”
The two then hugged and kissed, rings on each other.
“First love, eh?” Haruka turned to Michiru.
“I’m glad she already has a girlfriend, and didn’t turn out to be straight. How sweet!”
“I love our love.”
“Me too, Haruka.”
As the two happy couples kissed, Setsuna stood there, alone.
“Why can’t Usagi just get with Seiya so I can have Endymion to myself?”
Chapter 8: January 7th: Who's The Patron?
It's payday at the house. But who the flip flop is giving out the 1 trillion yen?
“WAHOO! We’re getting paid today for existing!”, Haurka screamed and leaped into the air while Michiru laughed. Haruka was never as excited as she was on these random days- the day their patron would come and give them money. As in, 1 trillion yen a visit. She visited once a month at the same time, and handed it over, not making any fuss. Setsuna didn’t even know who this patron was, neither did Hotaru or Chibiusa. Just as the excitement was building up, the clock striked 3:36 am.
A time where everyone else but the lesbians and their patron was up.
A tiny little knock was heard on the door, and the girls ran over to the door as soon as she jumped over to ring the doorbell.
“CHIBI!”, the patron said and smiled. She was short, with red hair in heart-shaped odangos, a little sailor fuku, and big blue eyes. “Chibi Chibi?”, she said as the envelope was handed to Haruka and Michiru. Then, the patron ran off, screaming “Chibi!”
“Aww, she’s so cute. Chibi Chibi’s the best.”
“WHAT?”, yelled Hotaru and Chibiusa. They set an alarm for 3:36 am to find out who the patron was.
To their shock, it was Chibi Chibi.
SURPRISE! *i bet you it's not chibi chibi in canon, but i thought it would be funny if it was her*
Chapter 9: January 8th: Ruined Date
Uranus and Neptune were hungry AF after their fight, so they went to the nearest restaurant. Little did they know it would be a disaster.
Wrote this at school, on my school docs, so I had to substitute the cursing I wanted with things like "fries" and "shoot" and "flipping" and change them on my AO3 editor. Wasn't fun!
You could call the romantic Italian restaurant the straightest restaurant in Tokyo. Not just because the spaghetti was straight, it was because there was only couples there. Well, usually. On that one fateful day at Sakura’s in the Juban district, there was a few couples having dinner. But thanks to one couple that entered the premises, the rest of the night turned into a not-so-romantic date setting for them.
This one couple walked in, kissing with arms linked onto each other. The person at the front said their usual “Hello, welcome to Sakura’s, how many?”
“Two, right?”, said the girl with the blond hair and yellow bow.
“Yes.”, said the other girl with turquoise-green hair and blue bow.
But then, the person screamed, jumped in delight, and got out her microphone for the shopping center PA system.
“HELLO THIS IS SAKURA’S RESTAURANT OK I AM NOT JOKING SAILOR URANUS AND SAILOR NEPTUNE ARE HERE I REPEAT SAILOR URANUS AND SAILOR NEPTUNE ARE HERE IN THE BUILDING OK BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Are we still…”
The two girls screamed, noticing that they were so hungry after their fight that they forgot to detransform.
“We can get delivery from KFC, RUNNNNN!”
The couple ran as quick as they could to the bathrooms, but it was no use. A huge mob of fans busted in the doors of the restaurant, making fan signs out of napkins, pens, kids menu coloring sheets and crayons and screaming.
“THIS IS FUCKING AWFUL NEPTUNE!”
The two ran into the diaper change bathroom, Sailor Teleported back home, and quickly called in KFC.
The euphoria was over for Haruka and Michiru, but it was not over for the people at Sakura’s.
“WHERE ARE THEY? AUTOGRAPHS? PICTURES? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“Um, they l-left like, um, an hour ago. FUCK, I’M GONNA GET FIRED FOR THIS SHIT!”
She wasn't wrong. The next day, she was fired. But guess where she decided to work next?
Chapter 10: January 9th: Consolation Prize
When our favorite canon lesbians enter a game show, they end up failing miserably- and winning a stupid consolation prize.
Yes, there was a real game show where you won terrible consolation prizes.
"Welcome to everyone's favorite game show, Random Trivia Tokyo! This week is couples week, and we have three couples vying for that awesome grand prize: a romantic trip to a surprise location!"
Hotaru was parked in front of the TV, with Chibiusa by her side. "I love this show!", said Hotaru. "Me too!", said Chibiusa. "I love watching everyone win, but my favorite part is seeing all the stupid consolation prizes." They then turned back to the TV, as the couples were being introduced.
"First, we have Maddy and Brad!" The couple waved.
"Next, we have Susan and Jordon!" Susan went into the "in the name of the moon, I'll punish you" pose, with Jordon tugging at her to stop.
"And finally, Michiru and Haruka!"
"Setsuna-mama, look! Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa are on this stupid game show!"
"This doesn't make any sense! I swear, the patron came only two days ago!"
As the TV went on and on about Maddy's 3 kids and a random love story, Chibiusa and Hotaru were bored, just coloring pictures. But once they started talking about Michiru and Haruka, the attention was finally back on the TV.
"So, how did you guys meet?"
"At an art gallery. I'm a painter, and Haruka is a race car driver, but we just happened to cross paths and that's when we fell in love."
"Why are you even here if you guys are that rich? I mean, everyone else here just works at McDonald's and waits tables."
"Ok, just have some fun with our consolation prize: Hershey's Syrup and Chocolate Milk Mix, and leave this place!"
The TV was then turned off, and Haruka walked by.
"What?", yelled Hotaru. "You were just on that game show, how are you here now?"
"It was a repeat from a few years back, and we just did it for fun, but they kicked us off and we got some syrup."
"How did you have fun with syrup?", asked Chibiusa.
Michiru then ran in and held the empty container.
"We just poured it all in the pool and swam in it!"
Chapter 11: January 10: Watashi Model
Haruka models, and shit happens.
Me and my friend saw a Chanel model in a racing outfit, so I came up with a fanfic idea.
A fashion show would be one place where Michiru wouldn't expect to be, but here she was, in the front row, holding her breath. A bunch of boring models walked in random outfits to the "Walk Walk Fashion Baby" song, and she was bored, playing a drinking game. Everytime she was bored, she took a shot, and boy, was Michiru drunk as hell. But in just one second, the show was gonna go in a different direction. And boy, was she ready, even though she was all boozed up.
The song ended, and a new one immediately started.
"iku sen no yoake o tobikoete eien mo tobikoete..."
Haruka came out, in a new white racing suit and her trusty helmet. Everyone else had no words, but Michiru was screaming over the music.
"YESS HARUKA WORK IT BITCH WALK IT WORK IT YESS GO SISTER YES!"
As Haruka began posing, Michiru kept on screaming, shaking her sign that she made just for the occasion, "GO HARUKA!"
"WHOOO! YEAH HARUKA THAT'S MY LOVER I FUCKED WITH HER LAST NIGHT YEAHHHHHHHH!"
The other guests rolled their eyes, but Michiru jumped up on the catwalk with Haruka.
"SEE WE MAKE A GREAT COUPLE AND WE RAISE A KID TOGETHER WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND ENOUGH ABOUT ME SHES THE BEST KEEP ON WORKING IT MWAH!"
Michiru then passed out.
Once Michiru was sober again, she went on Twitter, but was shocked to see the latest moment.
"Drunk Supportive Girlfriend confirmed to be Michiru Kaioh, violinist and painter."
Chapter 12: January 11: Somebody Once Told Me
Hotaru wrote a parody of All Star about 2 of her moms. Sorry, Setsuna.
It was midnight, and Hotaru was asleep. As fast as she could, Haruka ran to Hotaru's room and grabbed her diary, just like she did every night. One of Haruka and Michiru's favorite nighttime activities was snooping in Hotaru's diary, and there was always interesting stuff in there. School adventures, her secret love affair with anime, kinky wishes about her and Chibiusa. But tonight, as Michiru turned the page, she saw this in the diary:
Haruka and Michiru
(to the tune of All Star)
Somebody once told me it was weird to have three moms
Just a dad and a mom, not zero and three
But I love my family, I love Setsuna-mama
But I think I'm gonna spy on Haruka and Michiru
They snoop in my diary every night
Even though they have battles they need to fight
Why can't they just stop
And let their daughter have privacy?
But yes, I'm calling you guys out,
And I'm ready to shout
That tonight, I'm sneaking in
Hey now, I'm sneaking in
I'm watching them do their thing
Yes, I'll watch my moms
Do all that just for payback
Do worse things than TMZ
Because they snuck into my diary
"NO! NO! NO! WE'RE NEVER LOOKING IN THERE AGAIN!"
Chapter 13: January 12: Michiru’s Love Poem
A love poem from Michiru’s POV.
My sister’s in the hospital and my schedule’s been out of wack with switching custody and shit like that, so I decided to put up something quick so I wouldn’t lose my streak.
My lover is one with the wind and sky
She can shake worlds, and she shook mine
I don’t know what my life would be
Without Haruka, my sweetie
I know some people might think this is wrong
And people change our love to be more tasteful
But they can never change the doki-doki feeling I get
When I see her doing literally anything
Fighting, sleeping, racing, or even raising our little firefly
My heart bursts in joy, in love
And for every critic, every censor
There’s one hundred reasons why I love her
She’s perfection, she’s grace, she’s my Haruka, and I’d never want her to change
Chapter 14: January 13: How To Start A Fandom
Haruka and Michiru start a fandom.
I felt pretty lonely in my new one person fandom, so I made my favorite lesbians help me not feel lonely anymore.
Nobody really knew this, but Haruka and Michiru loved to hate on late-night anime. At otaku-o-clock, while nerds everywhere were parked in front of the TV and regular people were sleeping, Haruka and Michiru were in bed with their toys, TV in front of them, making jokes about the plot holes that each show left and, in the case of the mahou shojo genre, the inaccuracies they had to real life. But a few days ago, during their first “anime jokes and bed” session of the new anime season, they found the first anime they actually liked.
It was called Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka, and two days after it aired, the couple already watched the premiere episode 5 times, went to the bookstore, got the manga, and read all the issues that were available.
”THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!”, yelled the couple as they put down the latest volume.
“When will it be Friday night again?”, asked Haruka.
“In five days, but I’ll look it up online and see if there’s any fanpages.”, replied Michiru.
One Google search later, she found out there was nothing but an official Twitter, a few uploads of the OP, a few screenshots with captions like “this is lit” and one fanfiction poem.
The two looked at each other, and yelled, “THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!”
Within the next hour, cosplay was custom ordered, the next manga volumes were pre-ordered, a lecture hall was rented and this sign was everywhere online:
”FRIDAY AT OTAKU O CLOCK
MAGICAL GIRL SPEC-OPS ASUKA EPISODE 2 VIEWING PARTY
RSVP ON TENOH.COM/ASUKA
BE THERE OR MISS OUT!”
The two girls smiled in delight, but then realized that something was missing. Something to lure in people.
At the end of the sign, Haruka added in in big bold letters:
”THE SAILOR SENSHI* WILL BE THERE!
*THE OUTERS AND CHIBI MOON WILL TOTALLY BE THERE, INNERS MIGHT COME IF URANUS AND NEPTUNE SUCCEED IN CONVINCING THEM”
The tickets sold out faster than you could say “Who laughs last laughs the best.”
Chapter 15: January 14: Popping It Open for The 20's
They'll never get to come of age thanks to the Silver Crystal, so these lesbians get Sprite!
This is really quick cause I have work to do tonight, but I didn't want to stop the streak lmao
"Hey, today's Coming of Age Day!", said Michiru once she looked at the calendar in the bedroom.
"Nah, who cares.", said Haruka.
"The people turning 20 do!"
"Fuck it, we're eternally 16! We'll be stuck with fake IDs for our whole lives!"
Hotaru then walked in on the conversation, ran to the fridge and got the Sprite cans, and ran back to their room.
"But you don't need a fake ID to have a Sprite! Here you go. Don't become a meme this time!"
Chapter 16: January 15: Old Lady Setsuna
Haruka and Michiru question Setsuna's age.
This story is just a big Sera Myu reference, so if you get the jokes, kudos to you!
"Haruka, your birthday is coming up. In twelve days, right?", asked Setsuna, typing away on her computer. It was nighttime, and Hotaru was over at Usagi's house, having a date with Chibiusa, so her three moms were enjoying a night to themselves.
Haruka nodded. "I'll be seventeen. Again. We went over this yesterday, us soldiers of justice never age."
Michiru ran out of the bathroom, screaming, "YOU'RE WRONG! Because we have an old lady in the room!"
"Are you calling your lover old? I'm eternally seventeen, just like you!"
"Hotaru just rapidly aged a few years ago, but she's gonna be twelve forever, so it doesn't matter."
"Yup, but don't play dumb, honey, you know who we're talking about."
The computer was loudly shut. "Did you, just call, me, uh-uh-oh-the O word? You can't say that word around me."
"How old are you?"
"Uh, uh, I'm..."
"Come on, you're older than the Emperor. And he's so old, he's retiring!"
"OK, fine. I'm twenty-three!"
"Just kidding, but if you want human years, than nine hundred twenty six."
"THAT MAKES MORE SENSE!"
"On your birthday, I'm gonna get a seven year old card and write the numbers 9 and 2 by 7."
"THAT'S IT! NO PRESENTS FROM ME, HARUKA TENOH!"
Chapter 17: January 16: I Can Never Get Away from Chibiusa
The radio discovers Mata Mata Chibiusa Desu.
If you don't know this song, then you have a sad life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylRAi9iZE8U
It was a nice day, hotter than the usual bitter cold of January, so Haruka decided to go on a drive in her new Lambo, with Michiru joining her. As the happy couple drove across the busy streets of Juuban, the radio turned on, and a familiar voice filled the speakers:
"MATA MATA TOTSUZEN NO CHIBIUSA YO!
MODOTTE KICHATTA NO SAN-JUN SEIKI KARA!"
The peaceful drive then turned into chaos.
"Wait, is that Chibiusa?", asked Haruka
"It has to be!", said Michiru. "It's her voice, she said her name, she said she's back from the 30th century. How many little Chibiusas are there that time travel?"
"Cute.", said Haruka. "Michiru, send it to Hotarusa." That was their secret ship name for Hotaru and Chibiusa, and the two loved being called that.
Within an instant, Michiru sent a video and typed out "Out driving and we heard someone familiar..." As she hit Send, the station changed from that to the normal driving station, which played violin music. But instead, a similar-sounding song was on.
"USAGI NANAKA WA HOTTOITE!"
"NE NE KAWAII MON!"
"Is Hotaru pranking us?" Flip.
"This is a joke." Flip.
"THE TEST IS NOW OVER! WE CAN HACK HARUKA'S CAR YAY!"
She got grounded. Again.
Chapter 18: Janurary 17: Three Moms Are Better Than One
Hotaru's teased for having three moms.
“Hey, kitten.”, said Haruka, coming into Hotaru’s room. “Ready for school?
“No. I’m feeling ill. I don’t want to go to school today.”
“Come on Hotaru, you’re very smart! There’s no way you wouldn’t want to go to school.”
“But I’m not feeling good, Haruka-papa!”
“Ok, kitten.” Haruka then turned and yelled to Michiru, “Get the thermometer! Hotaru’s not feeling so good!”
Michiru then ran in the room, putting the thermometer on Hotaru’s head. After a few seconds, the thermometer beeped, with a temperature of 98.7 degrees. “Perfect. Is there anything bothering you?”
“I just don’t want to go to school, Haruka, Michiru.”
“Why? You love school!”
“It’s a long story…”
Then, Hotaru explained everything to her moms, about what was going on at school. It all started with a Bill Nye theme song parody…
“BILL NYE, THE COWS JUST DIED!”
“BILL NYE, THE RUSSIAN SPY!”
“BILL NYE, YOUR MOM’S A GUY!”
The class broke out in laughter, but one kid, Saitou, asked, “Is it possible for your mom to be a guy?”
“Yeah.”, said another kid, Higashi. “Hotaru’s mom’s a guy!” Everyone laughed but Hotaru, who was fuming. “HARUKA-PAPA IS A WOMAN, GOD DAMN IT!”
“But then how is she your papa if she’s a girl?” Everyone laughed, and Hotaru cried.
Later that day, Hotaru was playing when Higashi came over to her.
“You’re an idiot!”
“You’re an asshole!”, Hotaru fired back.
“Your mom’s an asshole!”, Higashi yelled.
“HAHAHAHA! Look, Hotaru has more than one mom! She’s weird! Hahaha!”
By the time Hotaru was done, she was crying.
“Who cares about those assholes?”, said Michiru.
“Yeah. Those jokes are stupid. It’s not right for them to do that.”, said Haruka. “Besides,” she leaned into Michiru’s face, “they don’t know what true love is.”
The two kissed, and Hotaru stopped crying.
“YESS! Ok, I can go to school now! Arigato for caring about me!”
If you or someone you know is getting bullied, don't just stand by. Whether if it's for their interests, looks or just because they have three moms, it's not right to tease others or let it happen. Tell a teacher, principal, parent or trusted adult about what's going on and they'll be able to help you. If they won't help, go to a bullying hotline or chat room and a volunteer will help you sort out your feelings. Don't let bullies win! Sailor Saturn says! Heehee, see you!
*yes i wrote a sailor says psa*
Chapter 19: January 18: Overloaded
In an AU where Haruka's autistic, she has sensory overload at a crowded grocery store. But it's Michiru's love that helps her.
Don't judge the utter terribleness of this fanfic, I wrote it when I was having sensory overload from annoying classmates to cool down and I decided to make Haruka have it in the AU because she's the senshi I can relate to the most.
Long lines extending to the freezer aisle. Crowds inched up around her, sweat getting on her neck and the feel of another's itchy lace dress. Loud noises, from babies crying to the idiotic banter between two boys over what turkey to get. Haruka Tenoh just wanted to scream, "I'M A CELEBRITY, GET ME OUT OF HERE!" and flee the Juuban Supermarket. But she was forced to go alone, since she had to get food for Hotaru's class project- if she didn't, than Hotaru would get a bad grade, and Haruka would hate to be the cause of her smart daughter's terrible grades. So here she was, waiting in a long line with all the sensory overload in the world. Fuck. I want to kill myself right now, or take off these sunglasses so people let me cut in front of them. But I know what I have to do.
Haruka got out her phone and dialed Michiru's number. Nobody picked up, but there was a sweet voice on the other hand. One that made Haruka smile, and brought her joy within the pain.
"Hey, you reached Michiru Kaioh. I'm sorry, I'm busy right now, but leave me a message and I'll call you b-"
"Haruka? What's wrong? Did you get the food for Hotaru's project?"
"On line for that now. I was feeling overloaded, so I went and called you so I could feel better, but just hearing your voice ask me to leave a message brought me all the happiness in the world. I feel calm now. Thanks, Michiru."
"No problem, sweetheart. You're everything to me, and I want you to always feel the best you can."
Chapter 20: January 19: Tired
Haruka writes a love poem this time.
I'm always so tired sometimes
Tired of my life
Tired of being judged
Tired of being called a boy
Tired of trying to fit in
But there's one person
In this whole world
That I'll never tire of
Her name is Michiru
And I'll never tire of her
Cause with her,
Is a new adventure
Chapter 21: January 20: Going to Korea
Haruka and Michiru buy plane tickets to Korea to see a particular K-Pop band, but find out they broke up...
i became a blady stan today oops
"WHAT?" Haruka and Michiru screamed at each other, looking at the Wikipedia page for the K-Pop group Blady. They saw that the group broke up.
"But... we just became fans! Like, a few minutes ago!"
"We'll never be able to see them in concert!"
"And we bought plane tickets to Korea to see them!"
"This is sad. Alexa, play Blood Type B Girl."
The music started, and then Haruka and Michiru started dancing. After a few glasses of wine, stripping down a little and ten repeats of the song, Michiru ran to where she kept her violin, and started playing along with the song. The violin complimented the song really nicely, and the two were having a good time.
"Well, this is way better than a concert.", said Haruka.
"Why? I mean, now we have to give the plane tickets to Seoul away.", said Michiru.
Haruka then spilt the wine in the sink, ran to Michiru, and kissed her.
"Because you're playing. And the sound of that lovely violin is better than any K-pop idol. Because I freaking love you."
Chapter 22: January 21: Adolescent Shark
Adolescent shark... wait, NANI?
Haruka was looking at her bank account, frustrated. Sure, most people would be satisfied with 999,999,990,000 yen, but she wasn't. "What should we do, Michiru? We're broke, and Chibi doesn't come again until the 7th!"
Michiru smiled. "You know that stupid Baby Shark video Hotaru used to watch?" Haruka groaned. "Well, if that thing in the correct order got 2 billion views, we could make a mixed up Hotaru edition for it and it would be more popular!"
An hour later, the video Adolescent Shark by HaruMichiLearningSongs was #1 on trending. It was the same thing as Baby Shark, but with different lyrics that represented Hotaru's rapid growth:
Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Toddler shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Toddler shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Toddler shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Adolescent shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Teenage shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Teenage shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Teenage shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
The Silence is coming, doo doo doo doo doo doo
The Silence is coming, doo doo doo doo doo doo
The Silence is coming, doo doo doo doo doo doo
The Silence is coming
Safe at last, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Safe at last, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Safe at last, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Safe at last!
After YouTube automatically gave them a trillion yen, the pair smiled.
"We should make stupid kids songs more often."
Chapter 23: January 22: On Love, Eros
Michiru skates for only one person- Haruka.
Yes, I injected another AU into this drabble series.
The music started, and all eyes were on Michiru Kaioh. Her black outfit complemented her sea-colored hair, making her an irresistible feast for the eyes. But on the ice rink, as Michiru skated elegantly, she thought of only one thing.
No, her violin or her easels weren't on her mind. Neither was her parents, whom she left to pursue this one person and her duty as a Sailor Senshi. But the said one person, was in the crowd, happily cheering. No words. Just beauty, and grace.
This person, on Michiru's mind, nobody knew who but the two of them- a little secret the two famous girls shared.
This person was Haruka Tenoh.
Chapter 24: January 23: Easy Choice
Haruka would give up everything for Michiru.
"Um, Haruka?", asked Hotaru as she stuffed some flatbread in her mouth. It was dinnertime, a time where Hotaru was known to ask her moms and friends questions that didn't really make sense.
"If you had to give up all of your cars and helicopters and cool stuff or give up Michiru, what would you give up?
"Kitten, I'd do anything for Michiru. I'd give up every last cent I have, my powers, even my hair, for her."
Michiru quickly swallowed the food in her mouth, and then looked at her lover, happy.
"Do you really love me that much?"
"You already know the answer."
They kissed so long, the food got cold.
Chapter 25: January 24: The Final Lap
There's something better than the checkered flag waiting for Haruka.
As Haruka flew past the lap end line, she grinned in happiness. The announcer yelled, "It's the final lap, and Haruka Tenoh is ahead of everyone by a long shot!"
Yup. It's obvious.
Her car flew past the crowd, who wasn't giving any fucks about any other car in that speedway. Their bias was obvious. "HARUKA! HARUKA!"
Winning feels good. This is what I love to do. But there's something better than the glory that I'll get when I pass that checkered flag.
VROOM! The car flew past the finish line, blowing the flag away. Cheers were in the air, and Haruka got out of her car, waving. But she then turned to the audience, and ran across the stands. Racing fans tried to get pictures and autographs, but that wasn't what she wanted, and once people realized that, they all stopped. After all, the saying in the racing community was "Haruka does what Haruka wants".
Once she got to her destination, it felt like glory. Michiru was there, smiling.
"Good job, my love."
"Thanks. What do you wanna do tonight? Date? Patrol the streets? Fuc-"
A smooch interrupted the inappropriate remark.
"I'll take the mystery option and do all three, because whatever I do with you, that's an adventure."
Chapter 26: January 25: Crushing Over You
A short drabble about Michiru screaming for her love.
*This is a flashback to when the lesbians were at Mugen*
During acting class, Michiru and her classmates were playing a game where they had to cross the room a certain way. Some seemed realistic, like getting all As, where some were overly silly, like the floor was Jell-O. But the acting teacher just said, "Alright! Last one- cross the room like your crush is waiting for you!"
Other people just smiled and walked shyly, but Michiru ran real fast, screaming.
Chapter 27: January 26: Haruka’s Birthday Part 1
Michiru does some sneaking...
My Australian friend on Instagram and I were talking, and she mentioned that Australia Day was today (it’s Haruka’s birthday in Australia) and that there’d be fireworks. I decided to repurpose said fireworks for the real holiday..:
Michiru was being checked out at the fireworks store, where she had about 2000 cannons.
“Are you sure you want this, ma’am?”, asked the cashier as she came up, carrying her load with Setsuna and Hotaru helping. “There’s nothing really going on, unless if you count-“
“Of course.”, said Michiru. “I know these aren’t in season, but it’s for someone’s birthday tomorrow.”
“Sailor Uranus’s? To be completely honest, I’m going to the park tomorrow for that party.”
Michiru happily nodded. “We’re very close!”
After Michiru left the store, she smiled in happiness. “This is going to be awesome! Haruka is gonna be so surprised.”
Hotaru then asked, “But how did you get them to do that?”
“We’re home!”, exclaimed Michiru as the three girls came back in the house. They dropped off the fireworks to the company that was doing the display, so nothing seemed suspicious.
“Hey!”, said Haruka. She was smiling happily when she saw Michiru. “So, how are you gonna top the Lambo tomorrow?”
“You’ll see, Haruka.”
Chapter 28: January 27: Haruka's Birthday Part 2
On Haruka's birthday, she gets a surprise.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARUKAA!
It was nighttime on Haruka's birthday, and Haruka was sitting on the couch, bored. Michiru had to run a lot of errands, since it was a Sunday, and Hotaru was out playing with Chibiusa and some of her other friends from school. She turned on the TV, and the news anchors were talking about random stuff, like the weather and international politics. Then, they mentioned, "There will be a fireworks display tonight at Shiba Park in honor of Sai-"
The TV shut off immediately, and Haruka turned over. Michriu was transformed into Sailor Neptune, holding the remote, along with Setsuna transformed into Sailor Pluto and Hotaru transformed into Sailor Saturn.
"Michiru, Setsuna, Hotaru? Is there a battle we have to go-"
"Henshin yo, bitch."
After a quick transformation, Sailor Uranus ran to the garage to get her helicopter, but Neptune stopped her. "Come on, we're going in this thing." She opened the door, and there was a limo, where the others quickly filed in to.
"Why do we need a limo when we have 3 helicopters, a motorbike, a Ferrari, a Lambo, a Porsche and a race car?"
"It's your birthday, you're not driving and this isn't to a battle."
"But why are we transformed?"
The limo stopped at Shiba Park, where there was a huge crowd shouting something, and then going into cheers. Usagi, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako and Chibiusa all ran to the limo, and opened the door.
"Come on, guys!"
Saturn and Chibi Moon ran back to the crowd, with Chibi Moon yelling, "She's here!" Who's here?, thought Uranus as the other Senshi hugged her and pulled her in a long chain, with Neptune leading. The cheering of the random crowd got louder as Haruka got closer, and once she was in front of the crowd, it yelled something.
"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAILOR URANUS! WHOO!"
Then the noises started. Haruka turned, and there it was, a firework.
"Surprised?", asked Neptune.
"Very. They're beautiful, just like you."
"I'm glad you like them. Tanjoubi omedetou!"
Chapter 29: January 28: Upset
HaruMichi reacts to the closure of Sailor Moon Drops.
The computer screen glowed bright in the darkness. It was 11 pm, and Haruka and Michiru were calming themselves by playing one of the Sailor Senshi video games, Sailor Moon Drops. But something was different today.
"We're sorry to announce that Sailor Moon Drops will be closing on March 28, 2019.", read the home screen.
"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!", yelled Haruka, fuming. "I CAN'T BUY ANY MORE GEMS? But... my event has only a week left, I really want myself and I can't clear an event without spending a gazillion gems!"
"It won't matter, Haruka. In two months, it will be gone."
"But, why? Nande would they do a thing like this?"
"Sorry, my love. But Bandai only cares about One Piece and Dragon Ball Z."
I made a petition to help save this beautiful game please sign it https://www.change.org/p/bandai-namco-save-sailor-moon-drops
Also Japanese vocab for those non weebs reading
Chapter 30: January 29: Sleep
It was 11:29 pm, and these texts were being sent:
Michiru: Hey babe!
I have a race tomorrow
I think I’m going to bed
Michiru: Well, I’m going to bed too then! Just like Hotaru used to not sleep without her blankie, I can’t sleep without you!
Haruka: So I’m a blankie now
Michiru: Goodnight, Haruka! I will be cheering for you as loud as I can, and you will win that championship!
Haruka: We Are The Champions by Queen *Play on Apple Music*
I hope this will be my sung tomorrow
Michiru: Haha! We’re all cheering for you! Beat those straight men!
Haruka: I sure will Michiru
Ill world shaking their asses
Its really late now we should sleep
Michiru: Of course we should! Goodnight!
I almost forgot to post something today so I came up with this in bed. Do you text more like Haruka or Michiru? I’m a Haruka texter, except my messages are long like Michiru’s.
Chapter 31: January 30: Beat Those Straight Men!
It's the national racing championships, and with her lover's encouragement, our favorite racer (unless you like the random nameless straight men) is ready to win.
My tired ass forgot I did a racing chapter last week when I mentioned one yesterday (don't mind I wrote that at 10 pm when I realized I forgot to write something), so I made it from Michiru's perspective instead of Haruka's. CrEaTiViTy!
Michiru Kaioh was standing in the balcony of Tsukuba Circuit, with Setsuna, Hotaru and Chibiusa, as well as Chibiusa's mom Usagi and her friends Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako. Usually, it was just Michiru in the balcony, but everyone decided to ditch school to see this one race. It was Japan's national racing championship, and Haruka was in it, so it was a big deal.
When all the cars were ready to go, all of the girls enthusiastically counted down to the race's start.
"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! YAY GO HARUKA!"
The next ten minutes were electrifying. All the girls in the balcony were screaming their heads off, jumping when Haruka's car finished a lap and throwing apple cider in the air when the announcer boomed, "Haruka Tenoh is in the lead!"
Soon enough, Michiru was standing there, the only person watching intently. She didn't realize it, but she noticed it when Haruka finished her forty second lap and nobody else celebrated with her.
"42 YAY, um, what are you guys doing?", asked Michiru.
"Usagi fell asleep.", said Minako, yawning before falling asleep herself.
"We're coloring pictures!", chirped Chibiusa, in time with Hotaru waving a crayon.
"I'm playing Sailor Moon Drops!", said Makoto as she stared at her phone, with the rest of the Senshi watching.
”But you ditched school for this, and you can color and nap and play video games later, after the victory party.”
”Victory party?”, asked Makoto. “But what if Haruka-chan loses-“
”I’ve known Haruka forever, and she’d never lose to mere straight men.”
”But isn’t watching the race like watching paint dry? It’s just cars going around 500 times straight!”
”43! No, it isn’t. It seems kind of boring at first, but once you realize it’s your girlfriend driving and she’s beating the crap out of 50 year olds at the physical age of 17, it’s entertaining. Just watch one more lap!”
The girls that were awake nodded, and went back to the stands with Michiru, going back to screaming their heads off and cheering at every mention of Haruka or photo of her on the Jumbotron.
After 2 hours, Haruka was about to reach the final lap and become Japan’s champion. Everyone watched closely. Another car was by her, so Hotaru was worried, but Setsuna told her that the other car was still on lap 499, so they were safe.
“KEEP CALM ITS HAPPENING!”
The red sports car passed the checkered flag, and confetti and fireworks filled the arena.
“WE HAVE A CHAMPION! HHHHAAAARRRRUUUKKKAAA TTTTTEEEEEENNNNOOOOHHHH!”
Screams filled the balcony, and the girls popped the apple cider, threw confetti, shed a few tears, and cheered and chanted as Haruka got out and waved to the crowd. Hotaru even transformed into Sailor Saturn just to break all of the crayons in celebration!
”WHAT WAS THAT?”, asked Usagi and Minako as they woke up.
”YAY WE’LL GET TO HAVE A PARTY AT MAKOS WITH CURRY AND SNACKS AND NETFLIX AND MAMO-CHAN!”, yelled Usagi, but Minako was fuming.
”Thanks Usagi! You passed the sleep bug on me, and I missed the race!”
Chapter 32: January 31: Sweet Victory
While the rest of the Senshi party it up, Haruka and Michiru show their love to eachother.
HOLY COW I'VE DONE THIS FOR AN ENTIRE MONTHHHH! I'm so happy! Anyways, enjoy the finale of this arc which I used as an substitute to that one big game I'm not allowed to legally mention.
And I also mentioned one of my old fanfics in here lmao
It was nighttime at Makoto's apartment, and Usagi's wishes for an awesome victory party were fufilled. Makoto made her best curry, there was every snack possible, Netflix was blaring along with music and Mamoru was there. But while the rest of the Senshi were having fun, using Haruka's national champion status as an excuse to pig out on food and party, the guest of honor was alone, with her girlfriend by her side, in Makoto's room.
"Hey, my love," said Michiru as she walked in the room, where Haruka was in bed.
"You won! You should be celebrating! Let loose and have fun, my love."
"I don't really care about that. It's good enough that I made it, but I don't really care for socializing, you know."
"Well, should we lock the door?" Michiru smirked, knowing her piece de resistance for Haruka's happiness. Haruka perked up right away, realizing what Michiru meant.
As the last movie on Netflix ended and Usagi napped, Minako looked at Makoto's room.
"Haruka's been in there for an hour now. Is she OK?"
Hotaru smiled and she said, "She's probably having six with Michiru-mama." Chibiusa winked back, remembering the time they walked in on them.
The rest of the Senshi fainted in shock, and Setsuna stared down Hotaru.
"That isn't anything for a 12 year old to know about!"
"I've been 12 for how many years now?"
Chapter 33: February 1: NOZOMIIIII!
On the first of February, the lesbians have some feelings to work through, so they wrote poems.
"We were both stressed about the new Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka episode, so we wrote poetry!"- Michiru
A blood-stained room
No sign of defeat
The prey is as important as grilled meat
Poor little Nozomi
Put into the fire
Arm chopped off
Like her date was expired
But there sure is hope in the world
Since terrorists are no match for magical girls
TOO MANY FEELINGS.
READY TO FIGHT.
and then rebel flag starts playing.
Chapter 34: February 2: I WANT A KITTEN!
Hotaru just wants a kitten, and one comes.
"My girlfriend has a kitten! Usagi has a kitten! Minako has a kitten! I WANT A KITTEN!", Hotaru screamed as she chomped down her cereal.
"Why do you want a kitten so bad, Hotaru?", asked Setsuna. "This house is crowded already!"
"Well, it's because it's boring being alone half the time! Nobody loves me, you're always at work and Haruka and Michiru always are, I don't know, smashing each other. If I got a kitten, then I'd have someone who loves me who lives here!"
At that moment, Haruka and Michiru ran in to the room and hugged Hotaru tight.
"We already have a kitten here, it's you.", said Haruka.
"And we love you! You know, in a different kind of way. We love eachother as a couple, but we love you as a daughter.", added Michiru.
"Aww, really! Thanks! But I still want a kitten.", said Hotaru.
The window opened, and a gray kitten came falling into the house, landing into Hotaru's lap.
"Diana! What are you doing here?"
"Luna didn't want me staying over at Small Lady's anymore, and she's here half the time, so I decided to come live with you!"
Hotaru cried, cheered and cuddled Diana, Setsuna broke her coffee mug and Haruka and Michiru ran back to their room.
"Shit. We have another kitten now.", said Haruka.
"But as long as we have each other, we're fine."
The couple leaned in for a quick kiss before panicking and ordering tons of cat food and a litter box.
Chapter 35: February 3: One Sided Prank Across The Galaxy
It's Setsubun, the annual bean-throwing festival, but Haruka and Michiru decide to spend it doing something savage.
Sorry, Seiya fans, but I had to do this when I found out what Setsubun was.
Haruka and Michiru were standing on top of their helicopter, smiling and laughing with a container of beans.
"This was hilarious, Haruka. But do you think the beans will reach where we want them to go?"
"I mean, it's Setsubun, so we can do whatever we want. And nobody else would think to do this awesome prank!"
The wind started to pick up, so the couple stared at each other, faced the clouds and threw the beans up in the air.
"Perfect. You know this is revenge for her flirting with you, right?"
"I know, my dear. You don't like popular men, but you like pulling pranks on them!"
SIX MONTHS LATER
It was just a regular day on Kinmoku, and Seiya was just laying in bed, bored, when she got a knock on her door.
Nobody came in, but something came in. A bunch of beans got sprayed in her face, along with a note.
"You flirted with Michiru, so getting sprayed with beans as revenge will have to do! From, Haruka."
Chapter 36: February 4: Michiru's Painting
Haruka walks in on Michiru painting, and she's shook.
When Haruka walked in to her and Michiru's room, she was expecting Michiru to be there. Indeed, she was, painting a picture. But when Haruka looked on the easel, she was shocked at what she saw.
It was a picture of a guy, no, a girl, in a blue two-piece swimsuit, sitting sexily on a bench. The girl had eyes the color of her swimsuit, and wind-swept short blond hair. The water in the background looked realistic, like usual, the waves with a perfect stroke due to Michiru's connection to the sea. As Michiru put down her paintbrush, she wrote in pen something right by the girl.
Michiru turned over, and gasped.
"Were you just drawing ecchi of me?"
"I always do. Do you want to see everything?"
After a quick look at at least a hundred paintings of Haruka in sexual poses at every location imaginable- the speedway, the grocery store, even in the helicopter, Haruka turned red.
"DO NOT SHOW HOTARU THIS!"
A tiny voice peeped out in the middle of the two girls, "What? Awe, cute. Chibiusa drew me like that too once. We were in a bed-"
"THAT'S ENOUGH! I'M CALLING USAGI!"
Chapter 37: February 5: Can We Fly?
Haruka and Michiru are confused AF over their flight skills.
I thought of this while watching a Sera Myu crack
Michiru: Hey, Haruka?
Michiru: Can we fly?
i have a helicopter
dont you remember
we were legit in it too days ago
Michiru: No, I meant...
we can fly
what world are you living on
are you stuck in neptune
Michiru: No, I saw a picture of us flying! As senshi!
that's just photoshop
or some shit
it's totally not our natural selves
but we have the helicopter
*insert helicopter emoji*
Michiru: THEY HAVE A HELICOPTER EMOJI?
Chapter 38: February 6: The Relaxing Sound Of The Violin
Sometimes, it's the simple things that make Haruka crush over Michiru.
The familiar notes were blasted all throughout the house. If you stepped in there, you'd notice that Michiru was practicing her violin, ever so loudly. Even if you put on headphones, it would be impossible to ignore it's notes. But nobody even tried to ignore the beauty and grace of it, especially not Haruka.
In fact, she sat cuddled next to Michiru, who was lost in her own little "Michiru Violin Land" and didn't notice her lover sitting there at all. But that didn't matter to Haruka, not even a teensy bit.
This is so pretty, beautiful and elegant, just like her.
In her notes, I could see her smile, her awesome personality, why I love her.
It soothes me, relaxes me, just these simple notes.
Even the simple things, that's what I love about Michiru.
Chapter 39: February 7: Another Year Without Mama...
As Hotaru grieves, Haruka and Michiru show how cool of parents they are.
I've been grieving all day today because today is the anniversary of the death of Shiho Niiyama, a voice actor who voiced Seiya. She's pretty much my favorite Japanese seiyuu, so I decided to get my feelings out with today's HaruMichi fic!
It was a fantastic morning in the lives of Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh. Michiru was warming up her violin, while Haruka was adding a trillion yen to her and Michiru's bank accounts.
"Now we have 5 trillion yen, thanks to Adolescent Shark.", said Haruka.
"I love it when it's the 7th. Wahoo, money!", said Michiru.
Hotaru was walking by and then went into a state of shock.
"It's the seventh?", she asked. Her moms nodded.
Hotaru immediately ran on one of the couches, plopped her head on a pillow and started crying. Michiru and Haruka then stopped what they were doing in that moment and ran towards Hotaru.
"It's February 7th. The day my biological mom died, and the day I was turned into this crazy cyborg."
"Don't worry. I know you miss your mom, and it's hard to be like this, but at least you are safe with us instead of with your dad.", said Michiru, kissing her daughter. Haruka then followed suit, and the three of them were all crying and cuddling together.
"We'll let you skip school today and you can do whatever you want to cheer up. How about a helicopter ride?"
Hotaru screamed in joy, put some clothes on and ran to the garage faster than Tuxedo Mask could show up, throw a rose, give a cheesy speech and shout, "Now, Sailor Moon!"
Chapter 40: February 8: Arigato
"It's been three whole years since the world was saved."
It's been 22 years since Sailor Moon ended but it's still getting new fans thanks to the power of love and the Internet!
As the alarm blared, Haruka and Michiru got out of the hugging state they got themselves in and smiled.
"It's been three years, Michiru."
"Three years since what?"
"Three years since little kitten beat up Galaxia and saved our asses."
"And three years since we were evil for an hour-"
"SHUT UP, MICHIRU! Anyways, I'm just so glad we made it."
"Same here. Not only is the world safe, but we are, and we get to live as a family and hug and kiss and live in peace."
"Thank god. I love you, Michiru."
"I love you too, Haruka."
The two kissed in happiness, but meanwhile in the city, Usagi was still sleeping, not acknowledging the anniversary of her success.
Chapter 41: Feburary 9: Request from Rich Fans
Haruka and Michiru singlehandedly RENEWED Asuka.
When yo girl is in therapy at her dad's, she writes crack.
To Liden Films,
Hello! We love Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka so much.
*insert million meaningful words Michiru wrote*
We're rich, so here's 5 billion yen so you can make Season 2. You're welcome.
Michiru and Haruka
P.S: Follow our Sachuu roleplay account at @sa.chuu on the gram
Chapter 42: February 10: Bed
Just the simple things are bliss.
My head didn’t have a single pillow on it. But my pillow was my lover’s knees, arms streched around her as she slept. She was snoring, but it didn’t bother me one bit. Besides, her snores felt good, because it was her. My girlfriend could even do the most embarrassing thing and it would still be the best thing in the entire world.
Because I love Haruka, and cuddling with her every night just reminds me of that.
Chapter 43: February 11: Michiru's Yearbook Photo
Michiru has a terrible yearbook photo.
thank sailorheadcanons for this story
Haruka was lying happily in her bed, flipping through a yearbook that said Takeuchi Middle School 1989-1990. She skipped the teachers, zipped past the As and Bs, and finally made it to what she was looking for. The Ks.
Hatsune Kadokawa ... Shingo Kagura... Misty Kaiba.... EUREKA! MICHIRU KAIOH. Wait... MICHIRU?
The photo above the name was kind of crazy. Michiru still had the same deep blue eyes and aqua colored hair, but her hair was different. It was poofy, in an afro. Her smile had pink braces, she was making a peace sign and she was wearing a pink slap bracelet and a bunny T-shirt from Next Story under her uniform. Haruka couldn't help but giggle. That was her perfect, elegant girlfriend?
The book slapped closed, and Haruka looked up, to see an angry Michiru. "I swear, I didn't want you to find that yearbook! Any yearbook but THAT ONE! I swore to myself you'd never see my embarrassing first year photo, and you did! UGH..."
Haruka ran away to the closet, and came back with another book, Fukami Private School 1989-1990.
"Do you want to see my first year photo?"
All the teachers were skipped, as well as most of the students, until the two got to the Ts.
Kyoko Tanaka, Mamoru Tashiro, TA DA! Haruka Tenoh.
This photo was even more hilarious. Haruka's hair was long, with a headband, and she was wearing the girl's school uniform. But what made the photo stand out was Haruka's expression and the sign she was holding- it read "I Wish For A Haircut and Pants" and Haruka looked pissed. The two laughed as Haruka said, "Thank god I got that haircut and those pants!"
"Now, where's Setsuna's yearbook?"
"Do they have yearbooks in Crystal Tokyo?"
"Ya mean Silver Millenium, dumbass!"
"Jeez, same thing!"
Chapter 44: February 12: Hotaru's TED Talk
Hotaru has an educational TED talk.
"Mama cubed, please come to the living room!"
Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother and giggled. That was Hotaru's nerdy way of calling all her moms, because calling all 3 individually would take way more syllables. They ran to the living room, smiling. Probably one of her funny PowerPoints, Haruka thought.
"Setsuna's at work, but you can show us what you made!", said Michiru.
At that moment, the TV lit up with a cover slide. It read What My Science Teacher Teaches Us.
The TV went to the next slide, with four bulletpoints. Hotaru quickly read them, in a funny deep-sounding male voice.
"The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."
"They taught us that too.", both of Hotaru's moms yelled.
"It's pronounced Ur-in-is."
Haruka stood up and cheered. "Tell your science teacher Sailor Uranus said thank you for not turning her name into a dirty joke!"
"Sailor Saturn will end the world on the day we have our next test. But I doubt that, because obviously. And that's all!"
"Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk."
Chapter 45: February 13: Shower Kink
Michiru likes the shower too much.
The soft violin music and the sound of water flowing filled the bathroom as Haruka stepped in. "How long have you been in there, Michiru?"
"Take off your clothes."
"Even your socks. Even your underwear. Even your bra."
She did so.
Haruka was confused, but Michiru pulled her in the shower, hugging her tight.
"Did you know I have a shower kink? Now this is heaven, naked Haruka and the shower."
I had to make this quick because of work. It's not fun being a CEO at 14...
Chapter 46: February 14: Happy Valentine's Day
Screw gender roles, Haruka and Michiru spoil each other on both days. But Michiru gets something unexpected...
When Haruka and Michiru became a couple, they weren't sure who'd give on what day- normally, girls give the guys presents on Valentine's Day and guys return the favor on White Day a month later. After an hour of going through their average bank account balances, they settled on giving each other presents on both days- they were rich enough, but Michiru's epic gift was on Valentine's Day, and Haruka's epic gift was on White Day- cause gender roles suck!
In the morning on Valentine's Day, Haruka and Michiru began the day by kissing (like usual), but they ended up making out for an entire hour, and they only stopped because Hotaru yelled, "I'm going to school, Setsuna's taking me and going to work, bye mommies!" and realized how long they made out. Then, they scrambled to get their bags (and envelope, in Haruka's case, since the epic gifts were too big for even bags), and threw them at each other, laughing and smiling.
For the next hour, Haruka and Michiru were fangirling over every single little thing that was in each other's bags, and I'm too lazy to write an hour of dialogue so I'm just making a list of what they got- spoiler alert, they basically got each other the same kinds of things!
- 1 million yen Amazon gift cards
- 24 karat rings
- Haurka got a RC version of her racing car
- Michiru got her rare CD she recorded when she was 2 and lost
- Halloween level of candy
After all the other stuff was opened, Michiru happily took the envelope containing her big gift, and once she opened it, she was screaming so loud it felt like Setsuna was there, saying "Dead Scream".
It was a poster, saying "MICHIRU KAIOH WORLD TOUR 2019", with a photo of Michiru and a schedule of dates in the world's most prestigious venues in every major country, including some places she's never performed before.
"Told you earlier that Sydney Opera and Madison Square wasn't the only places you'll shake this June. Happy Valentine's Day, Michiru!"
"Same to you, Haruka! Now, I'll have to figure out how to one-up that next month."
The tour is literally a concept I came up with just so I can schedule stories for the dates I'm going to be on an island with no Internet this summer.
Chapter 47: February 15: Punching Bag
Haruka gets her first piece of anime merch.
As the credits rolled on Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka and Michiru cuddled by Haruka's neck, she remembered something.
"Hey, Haruka? I forgot to give you one of the presents I got you for Valentine's Day, I'll go get it right now!"
"But you'll miss the preview for next week-"
Michiru was already gone, footsteps running down the stairs.
"Welp, she seems pretty excited. I mean, if she's running around the house naked, even though it's Otaku O Clock and nobody but weebs are up, that means something."
She ran back up with boxing gloves and a punching bag. "A punching bag. To vent your frustrations."
"Why is this so special and exciting?"
Michiru turned the bag over, and Haruka started dying of laughter.
"OH MY GOSH YOU REALLY DID THAT OH MY FUCKING GOD YESS THIS IS AWESOME!"
The punching bag had a photo of Abigail from Spec-Ops Asuka on it- also known as the character that Michiru and Haruka love to hate.
"Now, shall we go back to fucking-"
Haruka was punching the bag, yelling "YOU BASTARD I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR CHOPPING OFF NOZOMI'S ARM FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LITTLE GODDAMN WHORE BITCH...."
Chapter 48: February 16: Double Date
The straightest couple and the gayest couple go on a date at a restaurant.
The server walked to the table she was assigned to at Meiko's Restaurant, but she was shocked at how different the two couples that were sitting there were. One was an elegant, obviously rich couple, with a blond girl and a blue haired girl kissing each other in Gucci clothes. Wait, that's Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh, and a couple of nobodies? The other, was just an odango-haired blond girl ranting to her boyfriend at the speed of light. Why is a rich ass celebrity couple with these guys? Oh well.
"Welcome to Meiko's! What would you like today?"
Haruka smiled and said, "I'd like the Florette Sea and Earth salads with extra golden caviar and baby leaves and Screaming Eagle Second Flight Cabernet Franc Merlot dressing."
The server struggled to write down the expensive order, which would come to at least 110,495 yen, but then Michiru piped in and yelled, "I'll have the bluefin tuna ohtoro sashimi, please!" More writing. The unknown boy then added, "I'll have the short rib chili", and then lastly, the unknown girl obnoxiously yelled, "I'LL HAVE 5 SERVINGS OF THE DINOSAUR CHICKEN NUGGETS WITH EXTRA FRENCH FRIES AND A LOT OF KETCHUP!"
"Ok, you know that's expensive, right?"
"HARUKA-CHAN AND MICHIRU-CHAN BREATHE MONEY!", yelled the unknown girl again. Mental note: call her "dino nugget girl".
After the server delivered the order, she spied on Haruka and Michiru's table, just to see how interesting things got. Dino nugget girl was excitedly yelling about something and spilling the complimentary water everywhere, much to her boyfriend and the other couple's disgust.
"Usagi, this isn't the restaurant where you throw peanut shells on the floor! STOP IT!"
"But Mamo, it's fun!"
"Why did you even take them with us, Haruka?"
"I thought it would be fun."
A few seconds later, the server was called back with all the food that Haruka, Michiru, Usagi and Mamo ordered, and she ran back to their table and whipped them out. But as everyone else took tiny bites of their food to start eating, Usagi cheered, took her ketchup, and yelled, "VOLCANO!"
Ketchup was all over the table, and it ended up staining the server's white uniform, the white covers, and Haruka's white suit.
"That settles it. No more double dates!"
"But Haruka, why? I love getting free food!"
"My suit and her uniform and the covers are why."
The server ended up getting a 100,000 yen tip that day as an apology for Usagi's reckless behavior.
Chapter 49: February 17: Something I Generated Off A Website
I was in pain, so I literally just generated something off a website. Oops.
There was a woman standing at the water's edge.
Haruka, an energetic lady in the full bloom of youth, stood alone on the beach, gazing over theroyal blue water with her resolute cobalt pools. Her tawny hair rustled lightly in the oceanbreeze. She tried to keep still despite her impatient excitement as she hummed "Iris" to herself.She wore an alabaster bikini top, her light-colored, tinted with khaki, back covered only by a thin bit of string, and an aquamarine skirt that showed off her bloom-colored-flushed lily-whitecalves. Her blonde hair was trimmed short around her head, complementing her uniqueplatinum, tinted with light brown, visage. She stood, awaiting her love.
It all started when she found herself in mortal danger. She truly feared that her life would end that day, but Michiru was her unexpected savior. From then on, they were inseparable. They shared every part of their life with each other. That was how it was to this very day.
Haruka's cerulean spheres spotted Michiru further down on the beach, closer to the roaring sea.Her lovely hair rippled behind her in a turquoise wave. Her pools were turned toward the ocean, hidden from Haruka's sight, but she knew and loved their childlike olive hue. She was dressed in refined garb befitting her station. Her skin was ivory, tinted with ochre, and her form was slight.As Haruka drew nearer, she caught a note of Michiru's familiar perfume: a sweet, rich lavender.She smiled to herself. It always reminded her of the time they shared. "Kitten," she called, walking towards her.
She jumped a bit before turning around, smiling shyly. "Oh, Haru-chan! I-It's nice to see you."
Haruka smirked. "Good to see you. C'mon." They began their leisurely walk along the ocean's edge.
"So," Haruka began, "how've you been lately? Anyone giving you trouble?"
"Oh, n-no," Michiru stammered, "not at all, Haruka. Everything's been going well, and, um...."She blushed. "I missed you... that's all."
Haruka let her hand fall across Michiru's back, muttering quickly as if almost embarrassed, "Yeah, I missed you too." Michiru was silent in response, only leaning toward Haruka's warmth. "You're a good person. You know?"
"Why do you say that all of a sudden...?" she murmured. "I'm not that especially good."
"I figured you should know." Haruka glanced at her before placing her hands behind her head. "Hanging out with a rascal like me hasn't changed you a bit."
"You shouldn't say that about yourself," Michiru whispered. "You're not a rascal. Just strong of spirit."
Haruka laughed at herself and looked up into the sky, dropping her arms and thinking about all the things that had been said of her, and the stumbling blocks that still kept them apart, and the simple feeling that she was corrupting something pure whenever she hung around Michiru. "Not really. But if you say so."
Michiru slipped her soft hand into hers. With a little smile, she stated, "You're so good to me, Haruka. I can never tell you enough how much you mean to me." Haruka held her hand and thought to herself that that was enough -- that if she meant something good to this one person, nothing the rest of the world said mattered.
Chapter 50: February 18: Pluto Isn't A Planet
Haruka and Michiru wear their shirts.
"Hey, Setsie!", yelled Haruka as she and Michiru ran into Setsuna's office. She knew that was an easy way to piss Setsuna off, to set the mood for what she and Michiru was about to do.
"I told you, stop calling me Setsie!"
"Ok, I'll stop calling you Setsie if..."
"3! 2! 1"
The couple stripped off their jackets, revealing matching shirts that said "Pluto Isn't A Planet".
"YOU ADMIT THIS IS THE TRUTH!"
Hotaru then ran in, and took off her jacket too, revealing the same shirt. "Yeah, Setsuna-mama, I'm smarter than you cause I know the truth!"
"Hey, that's mean! Can you stop?"
"SMH! Why? NANDEEEEEEEEEEE?"
Chapter 51: February 19: How Eternal Eternity Came To Be
How the heck did Haruka and Michiru record a DUET?
Eternal Eternity was stuck in my head today, so I came up with a story about it.
P.S: HAPPY 50TH STORY, SELF! YAY! Only 315 more stories to go...
Hotaru and Chibiusa ran inside the recording studio, abandoning the Girl Scout cookie booth that they were working at, and jumped right into Michiru's arms, replacing the violin she was holding.
"MICHIRU-MAMA IN LAW!"
"What is it, girls?"
"NOBODY WANTS OUR COOKIES! We tried everything, but nobody will come get them!"
"And we even transformed, but they were like nice costume and didn't even buy anything!"
"I don't want to give them all to Usagi-mama..."
The two girls took off their Girl Scout vests in unison.
"I have an idea!"
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Usa?"
"HARUMICHI LOVE SONG!"
"Wait... but we can't sing..."
Within the next minute, Haruka was dragged into the recording booth by the force of both Hotaru and Chibiusa pushing, headphones were placed, and Hotaru found a beat online they could work with.
"You're not leaving until you come up with a hit that we can sell online and get money for our Girl Scout prizes! 3, 2, 1, GO!"
Five minutes later, Haruka and Michiru were crying of embarrassment and making out, frequently interrupting each other by cries of "My ears hurt." and "Thank god I stuck to the violin!" But with the push of a button, the song was done, sent to Spotify and Apple Music, and shot to #1 in only a few minutes.
"WE DID IT! We made enough money to get the entire troop the grand prize! Thanks!"
After Hotaru and Chibiusa left, Michiru was in so much regret that she couldn't even play the violin that day.
"I'm so embarrassed... I hate sappy love songs..."
Chapter 52: February 20: Blessing More Cities
A dress rehearsal of Michiru's tour setlist makes Haurka and Hotaru die of laughter.
THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE PUNKS WHO'VE BEEN HERE SINCE JANUARY CAUSE YOU'LL GET THE REFERENCE TO ONE OF THE FIRST DRABBLES/STORIES/WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL EM!
Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru were sitting alone in the first row of the concert hall they rented for Michiru to practice at. She was finally ready for her first run through of her tour for the summer, and everything was going to be the same- the outfit, the song choices, even the pre-show playlist. I can't believe she's practicing four months in advance. I swear, I could rewatch the entire Sailor Moon anime in four months-
Haruka's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar beat coming out of the speakers. It seemed funny, almost out of place. 80's synths at a violin concert?
Then the laughter kicked in. Haruka looked at Hotaru, who was laughing her ass off and smiling.
"Haruka-papa, we did it!"
The vocals kicked in. I hear the drums echoing tonight... wait a minute...
Thought was replaced by laughter and smiles.
"I guess we got a permanent spot on the pre-show playlist!"
"Here's to blessing the rains in Australia, the Americas, Europe, Asia AND Africa!"
When the song ended and Michiru came out in her teal dress, ready to start, Haruka shouted, "I LOVE YOU KITTEN!"
"I love you too, Haru-chan! I was gonna ask you what song you wanted to be the last on the pre-show playlist, but I know you too well."
"You sure do! The rains are blessed, now bless our ears!"
Chapter 53: February 21: Saved By The Doorbell
Usagi treats our favorite couple to her famous rice- but they may or may not escape...
"Why do we have to go to Usagi's house for her fried rice?", complained Haruka and Michiru when Chibiusa pulled them by the doorstep.
"It's an apology for the disaster at Meiko's last week, but I doubt it will do any good. Besides, her rice sucks."
Sadly, the two rang the doorbell, giving each other look of horror. Usagi answered the door, smiling, not noticing the terrified expressions on her guests' faces.
"Welcome in! I made a beautiful dinner for you guys, I promise it will taste better than ketchup salad and ketchup sushi.", ranted Usagi as she and her mom Ikuko pushed Haruka and Michiru into their seats.
When they were seated and Usagi left to make the food, Haruka and Michiru both pulled out their phones, and Chibiusa and her uncle Shingo did so as well.
"You're the Haruka Tenoh, you're not having my sister's terrible fried rice!", said Shingo. Chibiusa nodded, and the foursome gave each other smiling looks as Haruka punched in the phone number for Mariya's Takeout Pizza.
Usagi was about to come back in the dining room with a platter of burnt rice, when the doorbell rang. Shingo ran as quick as he could, opening the door.
"Hello! Order under Haruka Tenoh. Was this a prank, little boy?"
"No, I'm here," said Haruka as she took the food. "Thanks for saving us from Usagi's terrible cooking!"
Haruka happily skipped and placed the pizza on everyone's plate, while Usagi just stood there. After five minutes of watching, Usagi dropped the rice tray, ran to her room, and cried.
"I SPENT ALL THAT TIME MAKING MY FRIED RICE AND THEY'D RATHER HAVE FUCKING PIZZA, LUNA! PIZZA!"
"Usagi, they do have a point.", purred Luna. "I mean, have you even tasted it? Litter tastes better than that!"
P.S: If you like my writing and are into Spec-Ops Asuka, I'm coming out with a 24 chapter fanfic for that soon!
Chapter 54: February 22: I’m Never Gonna Smile Again!
Michiru’s never gonna smile again.
*Due to my new fanfic Rapture, today’s HaruMichi is just Michiru ranting.*
”HARUKA! SETSUNA! HOTARU! EVERYONE! Have you SEEN my violin? My violin is missing! This is a fucking outrage, everyone! My violin! My life will shatter! I don’t care that I have 49 others, I NEED THAT ONE VIOLIN! Ugh, guess I’ll have to buy another awesome one. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SMILE AGAIN!”
Chapter 55: Feburary 23: Terrible Stuff I Generated Online
I didn’t say 365 days of quality Harumichi...
Michiru Kaioh had always loved comfy the house with its crowded, cold couch. It was a place where she felt stressed.
She was a stupid, patient, tea drinker with sloppy fingers and greasy hands. Her friends saw her as a ratty, rare rover. Once, she had even made a cup of tea for a slippery baby. That's the sort of woman he was.
Michiru walked over to the window and reflected on her cozy surroundings. The rain hammered like loving horses.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Haruka Tenoh. Haruka was a spiteful elephant with blonde fingers and chubby hands.
Michiru gulped. She was not prepared for Haruka.
As Michiru stepped outside and Haruka came closer, she could see the sleepy smile on her face.
Haruka gazed with the affection of 4972 friendly fierce flamingos. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want pizza."
Michiru looked back, even more sleepy and still fingering the warped guillotine. "Haruka, I love you," she replied.
They looked at each other with sparkly feelings, like two graceful, grubby giraffes sitting at a very admirable Valentine's meal, which had jazz music playing in the background and two creepy uncles eating to the beat.
Michiru regarded Haruka's blonde fingers and chubby hands. "I feel the same way!" revealed Michiru with a delighted grin.
Haruka looked healthy, her emotions blushing like a bad, bloody banana.
Then Haruka came inside for a nice cup of tea.
Chapter 56: February 24: The Water Bill
Haruka screams at Michiru.
Usually, Haruka and Michiru never fought. They were lovers through and through, and never argued about anything. Most of the time.
”MICHIRU KAIOH!”, Haruka yelled. She slammed a paper on Michiru’s desk “Your kinky showers cost me 1 billion yen this month. Billion with a B! Did you hear that?”
She looked around, but heard shower noises in the bathroom.
”Oh shit, not again!”
Chapter 57: February 25: Hotaru Exposed
Hotaru gets exposed...
Michiru and Haruka were about to go on a date, but they decided to check on Hotaru first. Haruka said, "She's got to be reading- that's what school makes her do."
Michiru opened the door, and Hotaru was parked by the TV, playing a video game. Boom! Boom!
The game shut off.
"Stop trying to be slick. I saw you were playing video games instead of reading."
"But I read while I play the video game!", she groaned. "I read the instructions!"
"True", said Haruka. "Keep playing."
Chapter 58: February 26- Haruka.Exe
Walking to the computer, Michiru thought about Haruka. “She’s been missing all day.”, said Michiru. “There better be an explanation.” She turned on the computer and was in shock.
”Haruka.Exe has stopped working”
Chapter 59: February 27: The Period Wars
Haruka has her period. Michiru has her period. Oh dear.
It was the last piece of chocolate. Haruka had her period. Michiru had her period. They both ran to the pantry. They grabbed the chocolate bar. But when they both realized it was the last piece, those two fought. And boy, they never fight.
"I need that piece of chocolate because I'm on my period and I'm having serious cravings!", yelled Michiru.
"I need it because if I don't eat it right now than my period will explode!", yelled back Haruka.
"I need it because if I don't eat it right now than my uterus won't be star gentle anymore!"
"I need it because if I don't eat it right now than I'll be dead inside!"
"I need it-"
Hotaru passed her two fighting moms, took the last piece, popped it in her mouth and walked away.
Hotaru turned back, and yelled, "I'M ON MY PERIOD TOO, YOU KNOW!"
Chapter 60: February 28: CAN YOU SHUT UP?
I got jealous of my sister celebrating that the Jonas Brothers are coming back, so I decided to fantasize about a 3L comeback...
"AHHHH!", screamed the girl behind Haruka in the grocery store checkout line. Haruka turned, asking, "What's wrong?"
"THE THREE LIGHTS ARE COMING BACK AHH!"
"What?, screamed Haruka. She turned around and stormed to another checkout line.
Haruka was driving back home from the store, and the radio personality on air was pretty excited.
"You've heard it here first, folks! The Three Lights are coming back!"
Grumbling, Haruka flipped the channel.
"I'm home!", Haruka said as she walked in with the groceries.
Chibiusa and Hotaru were dancing to My Friend's Love and cheering. "WAHOO!"
"Not again...", Haruka sighed and was about to walk into her room when she bumped into Michiru.
"Someone's happy her favorite band's coming back!"
"SHUT UP, MICHIRU!"
Chapter 61: March 1: We're Killing Disas!
Haruka was in position with the prop gun, as well as Michiru. They seemed confident enough to be taking on a real monster, and they were sure acting like it.
"Oh, damn you Halloween class."
"You will not settle to wreck Japan!"
The girls turned to eachother and got ready to fire.
"READY! AIM! MAGICAL CALORIE ROLL UP!"
The shot was blown, and they both got the bulls-eye on the target.
Yes, a target.
Not a real monster.
A freaking picture of an anime monster.
Chapter 62: March 2: Movie Time!
"Hey, Haruka-papa? Michiru-mama?", Hotaru said as she walked by her moms with her girlfriend, Chibiusa by her side.
"What?", asked both of them.
"Me and Chibiusa are going to be in a movie!"
"What is the movie about?", asked Michiru.
"It's a gay romance story about two girls who become best friends and then girlfriends."
Haruka and Michiru ran to the girls, hugged and kissed them and started fangirling.
"IF ONLY WE HAD THIS MOVIE WHEN WE WERE KIDS!"
Chapter 63: March 3: Girl's Day
It was Girl's Day, and every house had a set of two dolls on display in order to bring their daughters health and happiness. Except for Hotaru's.
"Why didn't you get Hotaru dolls?", asked Michiru as she walked out of the shower.
"We don't need to use material things to bring her health and happiness.", said Haruka. "She's a senshi, it's obvious she'll have a happy life."
"True.", said Michiru. "You know what makes me have a happy life?"
"Technically speaking, it's a who, but it's you."
The two kissed.
Chapter 64: March 4th: Not Just Playing Games
Haruka was on Setsuna's computer, typing away. Michiru walked back in and said, "What are you doing?"
"Nothing...", said Haruka with a shrug.
"You sure sound busy." Michiru walked away and rolled her eyes.
"Little does she know I'm making a radio station of just her music."
Chapter 65: March 5th: Setting Up
What could Haruka do to top Michiru's surprise?
"Do you think this could really top a fireworks show?", asked Haruka as she clicked on Setsuna's computer. Hotaru was next to her, eating a celery stick.
"Of course it would!", she replied with celery full in her mouth. "I mean, it's a radio station with all of Michiru's songs that she's ever recorded!"
Haruka smiled, clicking on a button that would set everything up. She got up, and winked at Hotaru.
"Welp, we just have to wait until tomorrow for everything to be Gucci. After that, ta da! Michiru will have the happiest birthday ever."
Turns out it wouldn't be so happy.
Chapter 66: March 6: Michiru's Present
How will Michiru react?
Michiru walked out of the bathroom in a brand new teal dress she got herself from Chanel for her birthday, while twirling in happiness. It was obviously her birthday, but Haruka was finally going to show her her present once they went in the car. And boy, was Michiru curious.
She sat down in the car, staring at her lover. Haruka still insisted on driving, even though she was in a new suit... typical Haruka, she thought. But as Haruka turned on the radio, a familiar sound filled the car. It was the ever-peaceful sound of the violin, but it felt like the ocean waves calling out to her. It was like she was the one playing... wait a second.
"YOU DIDN'T! How did you get the radio to play violin music?"
Haruka smiled. "Guess who bought a radio station to play your music only?"
The screams were deafening.
"OH HARUKA YOU DIDN'T!"
Compare that with Haruka's birthday chapter. Damn, these are getting shorter and shorter. I bet you I'll be down to one sentence by the time the year's out.
Chapter 67: March 7: Shrine Party
Usagi's loud party turns into a drinking game for Haruka and Michiru.
"IT'S MY SENSHI-VERSARY!", yelled Usagi to the applause of everyone in the room. Haruka and Michiru were golf-clapping and rolled their eyes.
"Do you really think that she had to have a party because it's the day she awakened as Sailor Moon? I don't even remember the date I became a Senshi..."
"Shh, Haruka. We should pretend to have fun. And besides, there's alcohol!"
"True. Let's play!"
THE USAGI'S PARTY DRINKING GAME
Take a shot:
-Everytime Usagi and Rei argue
-Everytime Usagi and Chibiusa argue (2 if it's over Mamoru)
-Everytime Usagi boasts about herself (2 if Minako does it)
-Everytime Mamoru and Usagi make out
-Everytime Usagi eats a snack
Finish your drink:
-If Hotaru gives a useless PowerPoint
-If Hotaru and Chibiusa kiss
-If Usagi falls asleep
Five hours and 20 bottles each of Silver Oak and Kathryn Hall later, Haruka and Michiru were lying on the floor, talking.
"One time, I stole a suit from a kid at school and he got dress coded thanks to me."
"Hey, once I looked up Haruka Tenoh nudes..."
Ami stood in between the two drunk lesbians. "Alright, Rei, call an Uber! And Usagi, never have a party with alcohol and these two ever again!"
"Fine. Goodnight.", moaned Usagi before falling on top of Haruka and Michiru.
Chapter 68: March 8: Another Love Poem
This time from Hotaru’s POV.
sorry guys i didn’t want to break the streak but today’s been a rough day diabetes-wise and i can’t really process a lot of things
I love my three moms
I love Setsuna
But this one’s mostly about Michiru and Haruka
They’re made for eachother
Like husband and wife
Like butter and a knife
I’m a shipper on deck
They both truly slay
And if anyone says otherwise
I’ll end them with my glaive
I love when they kiss
And hug and that ado
But my favorite
Is when they say
”I love you”
Chapter 69: March 9: Make Up Test
Haruka takes a make up test.
GOMEN FOR FORGETTING LAST NIGHT! I literally had no time yesterday, I went to the movies and saw a musical and ate at 2 restaurants and I got home late so I didn't really have any time. But I tied that in to my first story of today- since I forgot yesterday, it'll be a double story day!
The memory stuck in Haruka's head like a sore thumb. "Haruka Tenoh, did you forget to retake your driving test?", asked the DMV clerk. Michiru took Haruka there just to start the process of Hotaru getting a license, but they caught on to a mistake Haruka made- forgetting to take her 2019 driving test. So now, she was here, in a room with a bunch of teenagers, taking a written test. She longed for the warmth of Michiru, for something to feel right. But it just felt embarrassing. As she circled the last answer and closed the text book, Haruka sighed. Now to sleep for three hours...
"Everyone failed...", said the test proctor. Haruka felt shocked for a little bit...
"except Haruka Tenoh."
Haruka happily smiled and ran out of the test room.
"MICHIRU, I DID IT! Now let's go to Meiko's to celebrate!"
Chapter 70: March 10: The Skater's Kiss
Love on ice.
We're back to the Yuri on Ice AU.
The music finally stopped, and there was a chill in the air. Michiru smiled, and the crowd cheered. But instead of basking in the glory, Michiru immediately skated to only one person.
"How did I do?", she asked.
The world stopped as Haruka closed her eyes and kissed Michiru's lips.
Once Haruka's eyes opened, tears were in them. Michiru smiled and said, "Why did you do this? Isn't this supposed to be a secret?"
"Fuck secrets. I love you, and I wanted to do something to surprise you more than you've surprised me.
The two happily embraced.
Chapter 71: March 11: You Owe Me
Haruka realizes something...
Haruka was stuck in the middle of a tough fight. Michiru left to pee, and Haruka was just stuck. But a song came on in the background:
”You don't know me
Don't you think that I get lonely?
It gets dark inside my head
Check my pulse and if I'm dead, you owe me
If you're lonely
Don't you think you're on your own
When it gets dark inside your head
Check my pulse and if I'm dead, you owe me”
”She owes me.”, whispered Haruka as she summoned World Shaking.
Chapter 72: March 12: Anime Logic
It was dinner time, and Hotaru shoved a huge plate of spaghetti down her throat. She seemed to be eating more than usual today, which concerned Haruka and Michiru a little. “Why are you eating so much?”, asked Michiru as she took a dainty little bite.
”Some kid thinks I’m Sailor Saturn.”
”But you’re lucky that someone defied the thing that keeps people from finding out our identities.”
”What is that?”
Chapter 73: March 13: WE LIKE SES YALL
Haruka and Michiru find another K-Pop fandom...
As the song played on the speakers for the 50th time and Haruka and Michiru danced around, they smiled and started yelling to the beat. “WE LIKE S.E.S YALL! WE LIKE S.E.S YALL!”
Setsuna came in, a little concerned for Haruka and Michiru’s safety. “Did you find more K-Pop?”
They didn’t listen. They were just in their own little world, dancing and singing along.
Still not a single answer.
”I swear, you guys have totally otakued out. First anime, now K-Pop? And I thought that was for teens...”
Setsuna left, and the two lovers grinned.
”But we found this on her computer... she’s a CLOSET FAN!”
Chapter 74: March 14: White Day, White Car
Haruka was standing out in the open, the wind moving through her hair. Michiru told her to go outside for her White Day present, and boy, was she excited. “What did she get me this year?”, Haruka thought.
Finally, it happened. The garage opened to reveal the gift, and Haruka screamed.
”OH MY GOD ITS A WHITE PORSCHE! THANKS MICHIRU!”
Chapter 75: March 15: Our First Kiss (Part 1)
Haruka and Michiru remember something.
It’s short because my computer was acting up, but I’ll finish it tomorrow!
“Remember our first kiss?”, asked Haruka out of the blue.
”What one? The one at the park or the one in front of my parents or-“
Haruka kissed Michiru right in the face.
”This was where it was.”
Chapter 76: Our First Kiss (Part 2)
It was a park during springtime. Sakura blossoms were sprawling everywhere, and the two were alone. No parents were in sight, and Haruka looked sexy. So did Michiru, but Haruka was scared to admit it.
The wind swept Michiru’s hair, and she pointed on the tips of her toes and kissed Haruka’s cheek.
“What was that for?”
Haruka returned the favor by kissing Michiru’s lips.
Chapter 77: March 17: Cloverway Rap
Haruka and Michiru become rappers.
This is what you write when you find the Neon Genesis Evangelion 4Kids parody.
Haruka and Michiru looked different than usual- they both had sunglasses on and shirts that had different names on them. Haruka's shirt read "Amara", and Michiru's read "Michelle". They both smiled at Hotaru, who was holding her phone.
"Are you ready?", asked Hotaru.
The two nodded.
"3, 2, 1, GO!"
The two got fake microphones out and started dancing as a weird beat filled the speakers.
"Yo, my name's Amara!"
"And my name's Michelle!"
"We're cousins, because if we were lesbians..."
"WE WOULD GO TO HELL!"
"We are just very close cousins, and that's a fact!"
"If people think we're lesbians, they can kiss my ass!"
"Just clearly friends, that's the truth!"
"Not lovers at all, or my name is Ruth!"
"See kids, come on, kissing cousins is fine!"
"But having a crush on a girl is not divine!"
The two winked at eachother, took off the shirts to reveal their senshi uniforms and kissed.
"SIKE! You thought, America? We ain't cousins, that true!"
"My name's really Haruka!"
"And mine's really Michiru!"
"We ain't lying to you, it's totally fine!"
"Love is love, all the time!"
"Don't let Cloverway lie to you!"
"We're the best lovers ever- HARUKA AND MICHIRU!"
The two finished posing, and Hotaru cheered as she hit the stop button.
"Perfect! Cloverway is gonna QUAKE!"
Chapter 78: March 18: Fighting For Love And For No Traffic
Michiru needs to go home ASAP, and Haruka fights the traffic for her lover.
I had this random memory from second grade today, and I decided to take the memory and have it inspire my writing!
"AHH! I GOT MY PERIOD!", yelled Michiru. She and Haruka were in the car, in the back of crazy-long traffic, and there was a lot of honking.
"Calm down! Do you have Advil or something?"
"Advil? I don't even have a pad!"
Haruka burst into shock, and then she went into "Crazy Driver" mode.
"SCREW IT, I'LL TAKE YOU HOME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"
The next ten minutes was pure chaos. Haruka turned the car through weird shortcuts so they wouldn't have to wait, and she sped through the ones she missed- all at the crazy speed of one hundred fifty miles an hour. Michiru herself was screaming.
"You don't have to do this..."
"MY LOVER HAS NO ADVIL AND NO PADS, SHE MUST GO HOME!"
Several car accidents that Haruka caused, seven minutes and forty nine seconds and one crazy drive later, Haruka and Michiru were finally back. Michiru looked down, reached for something, and frowned.
"We had Advil here the entire time."
Chapter 79: March 19: The Lover Wars
Shit goes down on Senshi Game Night.
“Welcome to everyone’s favorite game show!”, yelled Minako. She smiled, and waited for the others to reply. She cleared her throat again and said, “I said, welcome to everyone’s favorite game show... THE LOVER WARS!” Usagi happily cheered, but Rei, Ami, Makoto and Setsuna looked dead inside. It was Senshi Game Night, Mamoru couldn’t come since he was studying for a test, and Minako took everything over. She insisted on playing a game where Haruka and Michiru had to prove to them that they were better lovers than Chibiusa and Hotaru, and vice versa.
“Let’s have our lovely couples come out!” Both couples did.
”OK, introduce yourselves to us.”
”I’m Haruka, and I’m dead inside.”
”I’m Michiru, and I might’ve snuck in some beer.”
”I’m Hotaru, and Alita Battle Angel is a straight washed rip-off of my life story!”
”I’m Chibiusa, and I like pancakes.”
”Interesting! So, here’s how you play. You guys choose to either do some embarrassing lovey thing with your girlfriend or do something completely awkward, and whoever is the most romantic wins the grand prize!” At this moment, Haruka rolled her eyes, knowing that this “grand prize” was probably some gag gift.
”LETS BEGIN! First, Hotaru. Would you rather kiss Chibiusa for an hour straight or eat a mountain-“
Minako couldn’t even name the food before the two were making out. Rei ordered the Alexa to set an timer for an hour, and then Minako continued.
”Michiru, would you rather drink an entire gallon of spoiled milk or in front of all of us, for 5 minutes, fu-“
”COME ON HARUKA, I’LL GET THE mIlK!”, Michiru said with a wink.
They both ran to the kitchen and ended up drinking all the alcohol they could find.
“NOT AGAIN!”, yelled Rei an hour later.
”Hotaru and Chibiusa are sober, so they win!”
”YAY!”, Hotaru and Chibiusa cheered. “What’s the prize?”
”A Sailor V comic book!”
Hotaru and Chibiusa ended up rolling their eyes as the Uber came yet again.
”Rei Hino, this is the fifth time this year we’d have to take these ladies home!”, yelled the driver. “STOP HAVING THOSE GIRLS AND ALCOHOL IN THE SAME ROOM!”
Chapter 80: March 20: 100 Shades of Lipstick
It takes Michiru forever to get ready in the morning.
"Haruka!", Michiru yelled. Haruka ran to her, asking, "What's the matter?"
"I don't know what lipstick color to use today."
"Just use a lipstick! Come on, it's not tough!"
"No, but I'm not sure what one to use! What one?"
"How many lipstick thing a ma bobs can a girl have?"
"I've got 100."
Haruka went into pure shock. This was news to her.
"I knew you had a lot of lipstick, but not THAT MUCH!"
Chapter 81: March 21: Sera Myu Takeover
Haruka and Michiru take over Sera Myu.
The audience was staring at the ten teenage girls dressed up as Sailor Senshi, complete with wigs and costumes. They were singing and dancing, and they looked like heaven. Except if you're Haruka and Michiru.
"The girl who's supposed to be me is too, graceful! I don't dance like that!"
"Yeah, and the girl who's supposed to be me is too shy and clumsy!"
They both whispered in each other's ear, "And worst of all..."
"THEY HAVE NO CHEMISTRY!"
"I can't watch this anymore. Get up, Michiru."
"FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!", sang the girls dressed up as the Sailor Senshi. Nobody was noticing Sailors Uranus and Neptune because all eyes were on the Eternal Sailor Moon fuku, so nobody noticed what was going on.
Haruka and Michiru were now transformed, and they ran to the girls that were playing them. The fake ones were in shock and red, and quit singing.
"What the fuck are you doing here?", whispered the Neptune girl.
"Get out.", said Michiru.
Scared, the other girls ran out, and Haruka and Michiru danced along, pretending to know the choreography.
Chapter 82: March 22: Michiru’s Acrostic Poem
When scoliosis is being a piece of shit, you resort to love poetry.
Hair as blond as the sun
And a smile that lights up the sky
Radiant, carefree lifestyle
Kill me too if you kill her
Also, I can’t live without her
Chapter 83: March 23: Bed Kissing
Smoochies, my poochies!
The happy couple was lying in bed after a long day of work. Haruka did a racing magazine photoshoot and Michiru had violin practice, so they barely got to see eachother all day. But that didn't matter now. Besides, now, they were kissing, snuggling with eachother.
And it felt like paradise.
"I love you."
Chapter 84: March 24: I Generated Another Shitty Story
This is what happens when headaches strike at 9:30 pm and you have no creativity.
Michiru hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like Haruka when she got a new car. She loathed it.
Every December, Michiru would feel herself getting all lit inside. She refused to put up a Christmas egg, she snapped at anyone carefree enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Michiru had to go to the mall to buy a happy violin. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing huskily around and so much Christmas music blaring sweetly, she thought her arm would explode.
Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a cold woman collecting for charity. Michiru never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the cold woman dropped his bells and ran on a rock. There was a dark fish right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the cold woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Michiru rushed out and happily pushed them both out of the way. There was a nice bang and then everything went dark.
When Michiru woke up, she was in a dreamy room. There was a Christmas egg in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Michiru's toe hurt. A lot.
The cold woman came into the room. "I'm so fearful!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Haruka. You saved me from the truck. But your toe is broken."
Michiru hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas egg up and her toe was broken, she felt quite radiant, especially when she looked at Haruka.
"Your toe must hurt kindly," Haruka said. "I think this will help." And she kicked Michiru several times.
Now Michiru felt very radiant indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Haruka. "I love you," she said, and kissed Haruka angrily.
"I love you too," said Haruka. Just then, the fish ran into the room and nuzzled Michiru's leg. "I brought him home with us," Haruka said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Michiru said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
Chapter 85: March 25: The Reverse Card
Michiru plays the reverse card in Uno.
Thanks sailorshitpost on Tumblr for inspiring this drabble!
It seemed like Chibiusa was going to win Uno. Again. For the fifth time in a row.
Hotaru was thrilled with her girlfriend's victory looming around, but across the table, Haruka and Michiru were desperate.
They needed something to get them at least one victory.
"What do you have?", asked Haruka, looking over.
Michiru shook her head, wanting to keep her cards a secret. But Haruka smiled and pointed at one of the cards.
The reverse card.
"WAHOO!", cheered Chibiusa as Haruka played one of her cards. It was the same color as her last card, and as long as Michiru kept it up, she'd be a winner in no time.
"Oh no!", yelled Michiru, throwing her card in Haruka's face. "This is a red card! Damn it!"
Chibiusa and Hotaru fist bumped, but they didn't notice the smile on Michiru's face as she put the card down.
Chapter 86: March 26: Our Miracle Romance
Michiru ran out of the shower and slammed the door.
”Why do Usagi and Mamoru get the love song and not us? We’re more of a miracle romance than them!”
”Yeah, true. Don’t tell them this, but I think they have zero chemistry.”
As Michiru’s wet hair drilled on Haruka’s neck, the two made out, smiling.
”You’re my miracle.”
Chapter 87: March 27: One More Time
Michiru's sentimental Drops-is-closing poem.
One more time
I'll match random shapes
In threes, fours
Maybe fives so I can get a prism
Or six, paint pieces are dank as well
One more time
I'll hit the heart
Getting a kawaii attack
And beating the level
Cheering in victory
One more time
I'll enjoy this game
Since it's about to close
I'll miss it so much
It was fun while it lasted
Chapter 88: March 28: Lucky
Haruka and Michiru are grateful for their girl Hotaru.
Came up with this chapter while researching some things for my dream campaign for president (if you're here in 2040 leakers HELLO NOW STOP LOOKING AT MY FANFICTION FROM 20 YEARS AGO) One stupid law made me think of our favorite lesbians.
Hotaru was playing outside, running around and having fun with Chibiusa and Momoko, Chibiusa's friend from school. This simple moment would be overlooked normally, but for Haruka and Michiru, this was heartwarming.
"I love having a kid like this.", said Michiru, who was overlooking the happy, sunny day on the porch with Haruka. Spring was in the air, and the sakura trees were everywhere, wind blowing the petals that represented love.
"Me too. If we didn't have her and ended up having to get a kid, we'd have to get a sperm donor-"
"Eh, that's easy! Mamoru wouldn't give three shits... but Usagi would."
"Yeah, but it's illegal in a lot of places."
"That sucks. Love shouldn't be illegal, in any form. If it's love, it's just that."
"Unless it's pedophilia-"
"DON'T GO THERE, HARUKA!"
Hearing the scream of Michiru, Hotaru dropped her spring bonnet and ran up the porch to two of her moms.
"Nothing", the two said as their cheeks turned rosy red. But then they both ran up to Hotaru and kissed her cheeks.
"WE LOVE YOU!"
"Why are you telling me this now it's not even Valentine's Day-"
Chapter 89: March 29: The Finale
"Well, the finale's done and I'm alone.
I'm on a Netflix trip here on my phone.
But who I am is in these episodes.
So don't you tell me that it's just a show."
I wrote this early because I didn't want to be a mess if I wrote it tomorrow *sad yeehaw*
Anyways let's conclude the Haruka and Michiru are secretly weeb trash arc! (Unless I find another anime that they should get into, they also like Yuri on Ice but are closet fans)
Just like every Friday night for the past twelve weeks, the screen faded to black, and the opening notes to "Rebel Flag" started playing. But this time, instead of being greeted with either groans of "Not another cliffhanger" or chatter about the episode, Haruka and Michiru immediately started making out as fast as they could.
"I can't believe it. I haven't felt this sad about an anime ending since Yuri on Ice. To be honest, I don't think we've liked an anime since Yuri on Ice!", said Michiru.
"Yeah. Some seasons, twelve weeks takes forever, but this time, it went by in a flash."
"But WHY DID IT HAVE TO END HERE? We just saw Peipei for the first time not counting flashbacks, we still don't know what the fuck the Babel Brigade wants, and there's at least 2 more arcs that can be animated!"
"Well, I mean, we did send that letter, so we have a 90% chance of Season 2."
During the filler commercials for shampoo and other stuff, the girls took out their Anime Trashcan, a box filled with notecards about every show they've ever watched, and took some blank notecards and pencils. It was a tradition for them to write notes about every show they've watched, including their own, as soon as the credits rolled on the last episode. Michiru usually wrote the meaningful, deep references, while Haruka just wrote memetic puns.
Michiru's Card: Who laughs last laughs best, and the strongest always has the last laugh.
Haruka's Card: I still haven't recovered from episodes 4, 8 and 11
When they finished their scribbling, they put the notecards in the box, kissed eachother's, and put the trashcan back in the storage place.
"Hasta la vista, Winter 2019 anime season."
"We saw some shitty anime, but I'm glad not everything was shit."
Chapter 90: March 30: The Evils Of 4chan
When Haruka shows up on 4chan, it's an, um.... experience.
I posted on 4chan for the first time today... and I'm NEVER GOING BACK AGAIN!
Thread: Are The Sailor Senshi Real?
Anonymous: There's no way in Hell the Sailor Senshi are real.
Anon: True that, sister!
Another Anonymous Girl: People who believe they are real are messed up.
FerrariFan: THEY ARE REAL!
Anonymous: How? Prove it, bitch!
FerrariFan: THEY ARE!
Look at all this evidence online!
Anonymous: That's bullshit.
You're on drugs.
Anon: Have fun crying to Mommy that people who aren't real are!
FerrariFan has left the chat
Haruka slammed the computer.
"Those 4chan NEETs had no idea who the hell they were talking to."
It’s been a fun ride, but I think I’m going to have to quit these fanfictions. It’s been fun, but...
What do you do when you forgot to write a fic yesterday cause you were insanely busy? Make an April fools joke.
Chapter 92: April 1: Setsuna's Prank
I pranked you guys yesterday, now it's Haruka and Michiru's turn to get pranked.
Haruka and Michiru were eating pasta at the dinner table, giving eachother a dead stare.
"Don't trust anyone today.", said Haruka.
"I won't. Everyone pranks us, but they'll never be able to get us!"
There was then a scream at the computer.
"WHAT?", asked Haruka and Michiru, running there in a flash. Hotaru was jumping up in excitement as Setsuna smirked.
"GAY MARRIAGE IS FINALLY LEGAL IN JAPAN!", cheered Hotaru.
At that moment, Haruka and Michiru started crying tears of joy, hugging and kissing.
"OH MY GOD! I'M SO HAPPY!"
"IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER!"
"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED THIS SECOND!"
Setsuna sighed, and said, "Sike. April Fools."
Haruka and Michiru, who were locked in a kiss, immediately got out of it and started yelling at Setsuna.
"DON'T PLAY WITH OUR FEELINGS LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN, SETSIE!"
Chapter 93: April 2: Being In Costumes?
Haruka and Michiru are in.... THEIR OWN COSTUMES?
The first notes to "Moonlight Densetsu" cracked out of the park speakers, and a bunch of kids stared at the stage, expecting a costumed character version of Sailor Moon. But as the character walked towards the audience, little did the kids know that inside, was an actual Senshi suffering.
As Michiru ran around the stage, posing in Usagi-like fashion, she thought, "Damn, this is annoying! Why couldn't I have been myself? Well, there's no Neptune costume, and Haruka made me do this as a joke-"
At that moment, another costumed character ran towards Michiru. It was supposed to be Tuxedo Mask, but she could tell by the familiar warmth inside the costume that inside, was actually Haruka.
Michiru then remembered why she did it.
So she could get paid for kissing her lover.
As the two costumed heads got close, the warmth felt so soothing, like a nice ocean current. Michiru embraced some more, but then remembered she was supposed to be Usagi, so she then tripped. "Ouch!", Michiru accidentally squeaked.
But there was something reaching out to her, trying to help her get back up. Michiru reached for it, and smiled once she got back up.
She knew who's hand that was.
It was Haruka.
Chapter 94: April 3: Painter's Block
Michiru has painters block- until Haruka cures it.
A blank canvas gave off so much opportunity, but was so daunting at the same exact time. If there was no inspiration, than the canvas would remain blank. But if there was just the right amount, the canvas would turn into yet another one of Michiru Kaioh's masterpieces.
But today was stressful. Michiru felt the urge to paint something, but that was a problem- there was nothing to paint.
Until something changed. There were footsteps. So gruff, yet so poetic. She felt the ocean breeze flowing in her hair, windswept sand in her teeth.
Haruka walked by, in a hurry, looking so beautiful even though she was in a rush.
Seeing Haruka gave Michiru all those oceanic feelings.
I know what to paint now.
She then began yet another ecchi drawing of Haruka.
Chapter 95: April 4: George?
Hotaru learns a new fact about Uranus and uses it to piss Haruka off.
"My favorite Sailor Senshi is Sailor George!", yelled Chibiusa as Haruka passed her and her girlfriend Hotaru in the house. Chibiusa was over for a playdate, and usually when Chibiusa came over, it was peaceful. They didn't cause a lot of ruckus, and they were usually doing nerdy stuff. But today, the nerdy stuff was a problem.
Haruka was reading an old car magazine, peacefully, when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she said, expecting Michiru. But it ended up being Hotaru.
"Hey Haruka! Did you know that Uranus used to be called George?"
"Really?", said Haruka, not really paying attention. "Interesting."
But it turned out to be an annoyance, as Hotaru started making jokes about it that day, and Chibiusa got in on it too, pointing it out every time Haruka was in sight. Haruka was sick of being called George more than she was sick of being called Your Anus.
"Why did I have to get the worst planet...", Haruka said to herself as she retreated back to reading her car magazines.
There was another knock on the door, and Haruka was a little worried as she said, "Come in."
Thankfully, this time, it was Michiru.
She walked in, patted Haruka's head, and kissed it.
"I love you."
"No problem- GEORGE."
Chapter 96: April 5: The Weeb Dance
You know that one cutesy anime dance? Haruka and Michiru expect a normal ball- but they accidentally get swept into weeblandia.
"Let the dancing begin!", yelled an announcer.
In her sea-blue dress, Michiru then ran to Haruka and grabbed onto her hands. They were about to romantically ballroom dance, and the feeling felt so good.
But as Michiru looked on to see if anyone she knew was there, she noticed that Haruka and her were the only ones holding hands.
Heck, they were the only ones wearing dresses.
Everyone else stood in a huge huddle and were in pink-colored wigs and maid outfits. They got their shoulders out, started moving their hands like they were beaks of a duck, and swayed from side to side.
Instead of a romantic song, Hatsune Miku blared from the speakers, and the crowd started dancing faster.
As the rest of the crowd danced, Michiru and Haruka looked at eachother, and then looked at the flyer.
It said "Dance", but then they looked at the banner. It read, "Fun Vocaloid Dance".
The part that said "Fun Vocaloid" was ripped.
The couple then made out for a couple minutes and then ran out of the ballroom as fast as they could.
Chapter 97: April 6: Haruka's Intellectuallness
Haruka finally learned an instrument, my friends.
Michiru posed in the empty arena, and she was feeling GREAT. She just finished running through her show again, and her tour is in two months, so she was in heaven.
As Michiru walked to get her violin case, a weird noise starting filling the arena.
"Is that a kazoo? Yep, that's a kazoo."
"MICHI BABE! I LEARNED HOW TO PLAY THE MOST INTELLECTUAL INSTRUMENT EVER!"
Michiru turned around, and it was Haruka.
With a kazoo.
Chapter 98: April 7: Mad Libs: The Awkward Date
I've been hard at work so I decided to play Mad Libs and make it HaruMichi themed.
Tonight I'm going on a date with Haruka from my English class. She has asked me out over 386 times and I always wipe her away. This time I thought I'd breathe for it, I mean why not, who is it paying? Haruka is one of those jingly kind of girls who gets straight a 's in every subject, he's kind of a violinist's mandrill. It was Friday night when I heard a crack at the door.
It was Haruka holding a bouquet of packages, she bowed and then handed one to me and said " You look malevolent my dear, shall we? I almost changed from laughter but held it in the best I could. I took her posterior and she stomped me to his car. We drove to a restaurant that overlooked the moon. She ordered garlic cloves, elephant fingers, vanilla gravy and a huge seal burger with water. I just wanted a meatball with a glass of tea, I guess she thought I was unorganized but her outfit had me lose my appetite, bright red plaid pants with a button-down shirt tucked in and over-sized dresses on! After dinner she drove me home, we talked about why magnets are so aggressive, which was brutish, and then she walked me to my hummer. She kissed me on the ligament, out of all places! Then scratched his metacarpal and said I had a frisky time, lets change again some time! I nodded my aorta yes, then quickly went inside. I felt happy seeing her again in school but we usually just say yo when we shake into each other in the school bedroom.
Chapter 99: April 8th: Oh How The Tables Have Turned
Someone else gets sick.
As the villain attacked and Sailor Uranus ran around frantically in her room, Sailor Neptune was still stuck in bed.
Her fever was almost 101 degrees Fahrenheit, and she could barely move.
But as it tried to attack her, she mustered up all of her strength and got up.
The villain was gone in one attack.
As she detransformed and went back to bed, her lover gave her a wink.
"Remember when I beat up a villain when I was sick?"
"Oh, how the tables have turned."
Ta da we have a sick day special because I have a 101 degree fever
Chapter 100: April 9: WHAT?
what’s the matter
tell me babe
Michiru: There’s an alternate universe where we’re just anime characters!
is this a joke
you’ve got to be kidding
Michiru: Setsuna told me today!
better ask setsuna
Chapter 101: April 10th: Running Together
It wasn't her first choice of an activity to do. But with her lover, anything's enjoyable.
100TH DAY WAHOO! I can't believe it! I'm so happy! Let's see if I can keep this up for the rest of the year!
It was a sunny day at Shiba Park, and a huge crowd was there, running in the annual Spring Fling 5K. Among the crowd was Haruka and Michiru.
Haruka was running so fast, that Michiru would've been dead meat in the catching-up-to-her department if she wasn't gripping onto her hand. The breeze was very strong, and it was very noisy, so most people already lost track of their partners that they entered the race with. But there was one constant that kept Michiru close to her lover.
That feeling of the ocean breeze tingling all over her. The sensation of love-induced sweat.
Alone, Michiru never felt that.
But with Haruka by her side, she felt unstoppable.
Running a 5K wasn't her first choice of an activity to do. But with Haruka, every little thing felt like magic.
"I love you", Michiru whispered as they made it to the finish line.
Chapter 102: April 11: Queerbait
Haruka’s drunken text rant.
the practice of hinting at, but then not actually depicting, a same sex relationship.
killing off a gay character for the heck of it.
getting a few more bucks
just for saying you have a gay
and then people come because they want change
but in reality they’re only there for two minutes
before never showing up again
we don’t all die ok hollywood?
we can be happy together too!
*the next morning*
Michiru: Did you mean to send that to me?
i had 6 bottles of rosé last night
Chapter 103: April 12: Hope
Hope- by Michiru Kaioh
Is something you can’t always reach
It seems impossible
In the darkness
When people think
Are just a game
But within that love
In her smile
Her windswept hair
Chapter 104: April 13: Haruka’s Banned From Coachella Certificate
Dear Miss Tenoh,
We regret to inform you that you are now banned from Coachella after you protested last year about our owner’s charitable donations.
Please take your screamo energy elsewhere.
THROW THIS IN THE TRASH NOW OK
Chapter 105: April 14: Cleaning With Criminals
At school, some shit happens.
This was inspired by SailorHeadcanons!
At school one day, Haruka and Michiru were hanging out with Makoto and Minako during free period. Everything seemed normal. Calm, even. Until there was a knock on the door.
No, not a knock. A big slam. A bunch of thugs came in, yelling, "This school is ours!"
Makoto and Haruka both looked at eachother, winking. They knew that they could beat the hell up out of those guys.
"You're going down!", they both shouted as they made a fist and threw it.
Minako blocked the hit with a mop.
"No violence in this school! Let's mop the floor!"
"MOP THE FLOOR?", both the Senshi and the thugs yelled.
"Get to work, hoes!", yelled Minako as Michiru got out her violin.
'Yakety Sax' was played for the next hour as the school got cleaned in an instant.
Chapter 106: April 15: All The Cookies...
Did anyone know Haruka and Mchiru were cookie thieves?
It was dark. There was no sort of feeling anywhere... except for the smell of cookies baking in the oven. Setsuna was baking these to give out at work the next day. But Haruka and Michiru had no idea that Setsuna had any plans with the cookies. And Setsuna was busy in her room, reading a book, having completely forgotten about the cookies baking in the oven. So, once the aroma filled the air for long enough, the two lovers ran to the oven, opened it up, and smiled.
Nobody else was in the room. The cookies were theirs, and theirs alone.
Knowing that the smell would lure someone else soon, they equally divided the dozen cookies into six each, grabbed paper plates and filled them up with cookie after cookie. They felt very warm, and the chocolate was gooey- the best kind of chocolate. After a quick dash to the kitchen table, the couple silently took the first cookies and took that first bite.
That bite felt like heaven, and all the ones after that. The warmth of the cookie, the gooey chocolate- everything came together and made it taste beautiful. Haruka and Michiru got their phones out after they finished their first two cookies and texted each other.
Michiru: These cookies taste so good, I could write a poem about them!
Haruka: i dont have to worry about chick fil a being homophobic anymore
cuz these cookies taste better
than chick fil a cookies ever dud
After every cookie was eaten, Haruka and Michiru ran all the way back to their room to rest, while the alarm finally rang on the oven. Setsuna finally got up in the kitchen to open the oven, but then was in shock when she saw that the cookies were all gone- not a single crumb left.
"HOTARU! DID YOU STEAL MY COOKIES?", yelled Setsuna.
"NO I SWEAR I DIDN'T...", yelled back Hotaru from the other room.
"Ok... I must've forgotten to put the cookies in! Let me do this again, I'm glad I bought 2 cookie mixes..."
Haruka and Michiru laughed from the other room as Setsuna put the next batch in the oven.
I FINALLY PUT TIME AND EFFORT INTO A STORY YEEHAW! I've been having to shaft the stories to the last minutes of my day for the last few weeks, but we had free time at school today so I used it wisely and got to write!
Also, yes, Chick Fil A is homophobic. Not my problem, since I'm allergic to their shit anyway...
Chapter 107: April 16: Here Comes The Bride!
Haruka and Michiru get married. Or do they!
As the familiar song played in the wedding hall and flowers were thrown everywhere, Michiru walked alone on the aisle, smiling. She was tearing up. The happiest she could ever be. At last, the day came. The day she'd been dreaming about for years. She finally got to marry the love of her life.
When she got to the stage and the officiant started going on and on about vows and stuff, Haruka nudged her a little. She turned over. "Hey."
"I just want to tell you that I'm glad this day finally came."
"Same here! Now we can truly start our life together happily."
Finally, the moment came.
"Do you, Haruka Tenoh, take thee, Michiru Kaioh, to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"
"And do you, Michiru Kaioh, take thee, Michiru Kaioh, to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"
The rings were slipped on.
"You may now kiss the-"
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
The sound of the alarm woke Michiru up.
"Goddamn it, it was all just a dream!", whispered Michiru as she turned off the alarm.
Chapter 108: April 17: Making Out
Rei's birthday? More like a making out party!
Forty one candles were on the cake- one for every year Rei was really turning, but she was really turning sixteen yet again. Everyone else seemed so happy, and so delighted with the cake. They were singing "Happy Birthday" to Rei, and she was ready to blow out the candles. But despite the candlelight, cake and celebration, Haruka and Michiru were in the shrine bathroom.
Locked in a kiss.
After the cake was all done, there was a knock on the door of the bathroom. Nobody answered it.
The person knocked it harder, and finally, she just opened the door.
"Haruka! Michiru! I'm amazing, why are you using my birthday party as an excuse to make out in the bathroom?"
Nothing but kissing noises.
"Yatta. Just sugoi.", said Rei as she rolled her eyes, leaving the girls to do as they pleased.
Chapter 109: April 18: Again?
Haruka doesn't understand a simple Internet trick.
"Again?", groaned Haruka.
Michiru ran to her, concerned that something was wrong. But Haruka pushed her phone into Michiru's face.
"Look at this mess, Michiru! They said 10 people who retweet win 1 million yen. And I retweeted 100 times, and I haven't won a single cent!"
As Haruka cried, Michiru gave her a tight hug, and then slapped her.
"It's called a scam, babe."
Chapter 110: April 19: Booking Venues
Haruka will do anything for Michiru...
It was night, and there was a storm outside. The winds were strong, dizzying Haruka. She felt tired, but her beer, the violin music motivating her on her headphones and her love for Michiru kept her from collapsing. She was working on managing all the venues for Michiru's tour in a few months, and it was long work, but it was fun as well.
Seeing all the stages Michiru would perform on. Seeing all the numbers of capacity, which Michiru all sold out.
Haruka smiled, and almost teared up.
"I love her. She's going to do great."
As she sipped her 20th cup that night, she shouted, "I FUCKING LOVE HER!"
Then she passed out.
Chapter 111: April 20th: The 4/20 Special
Smoke weed everyday! Unless you're a Senshi.
Rap music was blasted on the speakers as Michiru and Haruka danced and sang along.
"Take a, seeaaaaaat
Hope you ready for the next episode
The girls looked at eachother, winked and yelled out the final lyric.
"SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!", they shouted, laughing.
"There's no way we can smoke weed.", said Haruka.
"I know. We can't be high while fighting crime."
Hotaru ran in as the girls posed for a selfie.
"BUT THIS IS HOW WE CELEBRATE 4/20!"
"What's 4/20?", asked Hotaru.
"NOTHING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT!"
Chapter 112: April 21: ALMOST 6 FEET?
Michiru never knew Haruka's height before.
This fanfic was brought to you by SailorShitpost on Tumblr. Thanks for the inspiration.
"YES! I'm finally tall enough to go on the rollercoaster!", shouted Chibiusa. It was the day of the Juuban Fair, and Haruka and Michiru were being forced to watch Hotaru and Chibiusa have a date there. "Alright!", cheered Hotaru. Giggling, the two held hands and went on the line for the festival.
As some more kids gathered to the height measurement stand, Haruka and Michiru stood there. Michiru then turned to Haruka, kissing her on the cheek.
"You never told me how tall you were, Haruka.", said Michiru. "How tall are you?"
"FIVE ELEVEN! As in, almost six feet?"
Haruka nodded as Michiru screamed louder than the kids on the rollercoaster.
"HOW DIDN'T I KNOW THIS BEFORE?"
Chapter 113: April 22: . poem
Even periods can sound glamorous when Michiru writes poetry.
The red sea’s back again
Drowning every last bit of sand
Causing a tidal wave in the stomach
It feels like it’s going to be a hurricane
Nothing can stop this mess
Except for the lifeguard
Chapter 114: April 23: Body Swap
Michiru and Haruka swap bodies...
Her eyes opened, but something felt off. She couldn't feel the wind, like normal. She was in a teal nightgown, on the wrong side of the bed, and there was a weird feeling. It felt like the ocean. Her hair felt like a mess. "Has it really been that long since I got it trimmed?" But she looked, and it wasn't just way longer than normal. It was teal and wavy. Her boobs were way bigger, and her nails were painted seafoam.
She looked around, and the girl that was sitting in bed with her was looking at her nails. Feeling her hair, just like she was. But this girl looked like a clone of herself. Her old self, with the same short blond hair. "Strange. I thought Michiru was in bed..."
The two looked at eachother, and gasped.
Chapter 115: April 24: Roses Are Red
More Michiru poetry.
This is what happens when you have work but you still want to put out a HaruMichi.
They were in the middle of an intense battle, and Haruka was bleeding. Michiru was uninjured physically, but she felt terrible seeing Haruka bleed.
So she got out her poetry journal, and wrote this:
Roses are red
Violets are red
When your girlfriend's arm
Chapter 116: April 25: Everything About Haruka and Michiru Written Down In Five Minutes
I gave myself five minutes to write a section on Haruka and Michiru.
Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh are the civilian identities of Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune, respectively. But these two aren't like any other Sailor Senshi- they love each other and are the only canon lesbian couple in the Sailor Moon anime and manga series. Despite this, they have- surprise- personalities! Haruka is an athletic tomboy who loves car racing, running and video games to some extent, and Michiru is a skilled violinist, painter and swimmer. As Sailor Uranus and Neptune, they wield Talismans that came from their pure heart crystals- Sailor Uranus's is her sword, which she can use to perform Space Sword Blaster, and Sailor Neptune's is a mirror, which she can use to perform Submarine Reflection- which is only used once, in the Sailor Moon SuperS: Curse of the Black Dream Hole movie. Sailor Uranus's other attack is World Shaking. Sailor Neptune's other attack is Deep Submerge, but she can also do Violin Turbulence in the Sailor Moon manga. Another notable change is that in the manga, Haruka's hair is white, while it's blond in the anime. I only have 10 seconds left, so I hope you enjoyed my Asperger's syndrome induced infodumping!
Chapter 117: April 26: Don't Spoil Endgame!
Hotaru saw Endgame.
Haruka and Michiru didn't.
I saw Endgame today! It was really good, but it's going to be SO HARD not to spoil it for my friends that weren't lucky enough to get opening day tickets. Especially for my Marvel-obsessed friend who usually sees the movies opening night but she was only able to get tickets for Sunday...
Hotaru rang the doorbell, and Michiru got it.
"Hey, Hotaru! Did you have fun with Chibiusa?"
"Yeah! We saw the new Avengers movie! It was so sad when Ir-"
Haruka ran as fast as she could and covered Hotaru's mouth.
"DON'T YOU DARE SPOIL ENDGAME! I've waited eleven years for this and my daughter will not ruin it for me!"
Chibiusa then rang the doorbell, and Haruka opened the door.
"Don't spoil Endgame."
"But I cried when Bl-"
"Wow, that hurt! Thanks, Haruka."
"Don't you dare utter another word about that movie until Sunday at 7:30 pm!"
Michiru nodded. "I'm still mad you two nabbed opening day tickets when me and Haruka were stuck on the site that crashed and we only got tickets for Sunday."
Chapter 118: April 27: Nothing But Fanservice
Haruka and Michiru come up with an anime just about themselves.
As the 100th Sera Myu song played on the car radio, Haruka came up with a brilliant idea.
"What if they made an anime about nothing but us?"
"Us? Why us?"
"We're Senshi, and we're the best ones, too!"
"Yeah, but wouldn't it be nothing but fanservice?"
Chapter 119: April 28: Ich Bin Done
It was midnight, and Haruka and Michiru were in bed, crying. None of their animes were on, so there was no sedatives to calm them down.
“I can’t believe it.”, Haruka said through tears. “Why did they have to kill him?”
”Him? I was more pissed about HER! Why HER?”
Haruka shrugged. “I don’t know, Michi.”
They cried some more as Michiru got the remote and started playing the first Iron Man movie. But as the logo played, Haruka whispered something.
”Ich bin done.”
Chapter 120: April 29: Bargain Day At The Supermarket
Uranus gets some unlikely motivation.
This chapter was inspired by an episode of One Punch Man.
The villain was attacking harshly. Sailor Neptune was pretty much immobilized, and all seemed hopeless, since Uranus wasn’t taking that too well.
”Ha, ha!”, yelled the teenage delinquent monster. “I’m going to be on a rampage for a whole week! Until next Monday!”
That line shocked Uranus.
”One week. Until next Monday. That means today’s Monday, too.”
”What?”, yelled Neptune.
”IT’S BARGAIN DAY AT THE SUPERMARKET! SPECIAL SAILOR SUPERMARKET SPACE SWORD BLASTER!”
The monster was gone, and Neptune mustered up her strength to grab Uranus’s hand.
”The store closes in four hours. If we use your helicopter, we can make it!”
The two happily hurried off.
Chapter 121: April 30: Who Cares?
Who really cares about the emperor abdicating?
Today, Japan's emperor abdicated, and it was awesome because we had to watch a video about Japan in social studies because of that and you know I'm a Nippon freak. But Haruka and Michiru?
Music was blasting all across the town, and fireworks were bursting everywhere. Nothing was on TV, except a bunch of news programs and drunkens throwing confetti at the night sky. Haruka and Michiru were bored with this hullabaloo that seemed useless, and they were in bed, covering their ears.
"This is stupid. Who cares that it's a new era?", said Michiru.
"I don't. Heisei one day and Reiwa the next, nothing will change. Just some random emperor changes."
"Random? You're right. The emperor doesn't do anything. Why do we even have one anymore?"
They snuggled and covered their ears for the rest of the night.
Chapter 122: May 1: All Alone
Michiru is home alone.
WE'RE A THIRD DONE YAY! Please enjoy the next eight months of fanfic as much as you've been enjoying the last four months ;)
The usually lively house was quiet. Not a single sound rang through it, except for the sound of footsteps and rain from outside.
Haruka looked around. "Anyone? Anyone?"
She ran all around the house. "Hotaru? Setsuna? MICHIRU?"
There wasn't another person in sight. Haruka laid down on her bed, sighing as she did so. She picked up the note on her nightstand: "Crime broke out while you were shopping. We'll be back! Setsuna"
"I'll do my best, Haruka-papa!"
"Love you 3000. Michiru."
Water filled Haruka's eyes. She got her phone, turned on one of Michiru's violin albums and closed her eyes.
Why did she have to write THAT?
Chapter 123: May 2: Writing A Movie
Michiru finishes writing her movie.
I FINISHED THE SECOND DRAFT OF THE MOVIE BASED ON RAPTURE TODAY! To celebrate, I wrote a story about what happened when I finished draft 1.
*WARNING: THIS DRABBLE CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR MY MAGICAL GIRL SPEC-OPS ASUKA FANFICTION, RAPTURE, SO IF YOU WANT TO READ IT WITHOUT GETTING SPOILED SKIP TODAY'S DRABBLE!*
It seemed like forever, but Michiru Kaioh finally did it. She wrote an entire movie. A 120 page script.
"A month of hard work for one amazing movie. Yatta!", she squealed as she yelled at Haruka to come read it.
"No.", Haruka bluntly stated as she finished the script.
"Why? This movie is perfect!"
"Because the beginning drags on, for one. And two, why did you even injure that girl for some cheap dramatic tension?"
"Well, she was going to die in the first version. I mean, this movie was based on my Spec-Ops Asuka fanfic, and the girl who got shot was based on Asuka, so of course she'd get injured at some point!"
"To be honest, the ending sucks. It doesn't make sense at all."
"Yeah, true. I guess I gotta come up with another ending... and rewrite half of this script."
Chapter 124: May 3: Chick-Fil-A Rainbow
Oh, the irony.
This really happened to me today, so I wrote it as a fic. Enjoy!
"We Are The Pretty Guardians" blasted in Haruka's '95 Ferrari as she and Michiru drove across town. It was a cloudy day, and the couple finished watching Endgame for the second time and were on their way home from the theater. It seemed like your average car ride. But the rainbow changed everything.
This wasn't your ordinary rainbow. This rainbow was more colorful and bigger than usual. It made it seem like this month was Pride instead of next.
"PRETTY!", yelled Michiru as she noticed the rainbow. The car stopped at a light, and Michiru took out her phone to capture the lovely rainbow.
The car drove on, and Michiru stared at the photo. But, wait a minute, was that a...
Michiru ended up giggling. The giggle turned into a full-blown laugh, and by the time the couple were waiting at the next light, Haruka was laughing as well.
"What's funny, Michiru?"
Michiru shoved her phone in Haruka's face.
"A rainbow by a Chick-Fil-A."
The girls laughed so hard. As soon as they stopped, they locked eyes and winked.
"This calls for the Magical 5 motto."
"WHO LAUGHS LAST LAUGHS BEST!"
Chapter 125: May 4: A Cheesy Poem
Haruka went to the fridge to get herself a snack, when she found an envelope with her name written in familiar printed handwriting.
Excitedly, Haruka destroyed the envelope, smiling while doing so. But once she saw what was inside, she frowned.
It was a sticky note that said:
”Roses are red
Violets are blue
I heard you like Star Wars
May the fourth be with you”
Chapter 126: May 5: Cinco de Mayo
Haruka and Michiru think Cinco de Mayo is about mayonnaise.
I didn't know what Cinco De Mayo really meant until today, so to make myself feel better I made Haruka and Michiru be dumber than I was.
Also: HAPPY 125TH DRABBLE!
The pool was not filled with water anymore. Every grocery store in Japan was having a mayonnaise outage. The mayonnaise was in the pool of Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh's house.
In swimsuits, Haruka and Michiru held hands and raised them up.
"Uno, Dos, Tres!"
They jumped in the pool of mayonnaise and started swimming (in Michiru's case) and pigging out on all the mayo (which Haruka did).
Hotaru walked in after a while and gasped.
"Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama, what are you doing?"
"We're celebrating Cinco de May-oh!"
"You mean Cinco de My-oh?"
Haruka and Michiru stood up.
"We saw it on the calendar and thought it was a holiday about getting a bunch of mayo in a pool."
Hotaru shook her head. "It's a Mexican celebration about their contributions in the American Civil War."
Haruka and Michiru both fell in the pool of mayo.
Chapter 127: May 6: The Candy Sale
Children's Day means a candy sale... and HaruMichi are HERE FOR IT.
The store had a big sign, meant to lure kids in. "HEY KIDS! IT'S CHILDREN'S DAY! ENJOY FREE CANDY!"
But instead, they lured in teenagers who have been teenagers for 25 years.
"CANDY!", Haruka and Michiru yelled as they ran in the store.
They grabbed literally every piece of chocolate the store had that expired after their next periods, and ran out as fast as they could.
"This is nice, but we gotta run out of here so the store people don't notice teenagers took their kids candy!"
The next hour, there was a crowd of screaming kids.
"NO MORE CHOCOLATE?"
Little did they know that the chocolate was at Haruka and Michiru's place. Waiting for their next period.
Chapter 128: May 7: Painful AU Plot
I generated something because I’m in pain. If anyone wants to use this AU, you can!
Michiru Kaioh is a podgy, beautiful and grateful detective from England. Her life is going nowhere until she meets Haruka Tenoh, a short woman with a passion for kite flying.
Michiru takes an instant disliking to Haruka and the mean and stupid ways she learnt during her years in the country.
However, when a mass murderer tries to mug Michiru, Haruka springs to the rescue. Michiru begins to notices that Haruka is actually rather sweet at heart.
But, the pressures of Haruka's job as a homemaker leave her blind to Michiru's affections and Michiru takes up writing to try an distract herself.
Finally, when cold-blooded lawyer, Setsuna Meiou, threatens to come between them, Haruka has to act fast. But will they ever find the frantic love that they deserve?
Chapter 129: May 8: Some Senshi Are More Equal Than Others
Hotaru questions her lack of a transformation sequence.
My English class just finished reading Animal Farm, so I thought I'd parody it. It was pretty good, but I've written a longer dystopian novel than Animal Farm and Anthem (the other dystopian novel we read) combined...
Setsuna was at work, so Haruka, Michiru and Hotaru were alone at the dinner table. They were eating Chinese food, and Hotaru scooped up a big ball of rice before asking this question: "WHY DIDN'T I GET A TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE?"
Haruka and Michiru stared at eachother. "Uh..."
"In the anime! I had no image song as well, and I had no real attack, and I was only in 10 episodes. Toei did me dirty! What's their deal?"
Haruka gulped up some more food, while Michiru just stared at her rice bowl. "Um... how can I explain it in a way nerdy Hotaru will understand?"
After five minutes of pondering, Michiru stuffed a dumpling in her mouth. "Remember the last commandment in Animal Farm?"
Hotaru nodded. "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
"Well, just replace the animals with Senshi, and you've got your answer."
Chapter 130: May 9: 7 Things You Don't Want To Hear About The Outer Senshi
Hotaru trolled everyone by submitting an embarrassing article to a site anonymously. It was taken down within 5 minutes, but I got ahold of the copy for you guys.
I also listened to the Chicken Dance on repeat while writing this, and tortured myself by listening to nothing BUT the damn chicken dance.
7 Things You Don't Want To Hear About The Outer Senshi- by AsukaXKurumi
1- Sailor Neptune occasionally draws ecchi fanart of Sailor Uranus in sexy poses.
2- Sailor Pluto got fired from her job as a school nurse due to her missing a workday to fight crime.
3- Sailor Uranus faked a passport from a foreign country just so she could drive earlier.
4- Sailor Pluto sued Neil deGrasse Tyson for making Pluto not a planet anymore.
5- Sailor Uranus once ran over a chicken in her Ferrari.
6- Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus get drunk on expensive bottles of Rose. Like, a lot.
7- Every night, Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus have scissor sex while watching anime.
You wouldn't believe this, but it's true!
Five minutes after being posted, Hotaru got this email from the site:
We had to take down your article 7 Things You Don't Want To Hear About The Outer Senshi due to it being lies and not fact-based at all.
P.S: I ship Asuka and Sayako.
At that moment, Hotaru logged out of the site and blocked it.
"ASUKA AND SAYAKO SHIPPERS ARE A SPECIAL KIND OF DEMON!"
Chapter 131: May 10: Take A Shot...
Hotaru's Mother's Day presentation at school is well, weird.
Hotaru smiled at her class, staring at Chibiusa the entire time. But then, her teacher coughed and rolled her eyes.
"That was a nice presentation, but you forgot to tell us your mom's hobbies!"
"Um... yeah. Setsuna-mama likes science, and Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa, well... they like to take shots."
Chibiusa stood up.
"They get drunk a lot."
Chapter 132: May 11: Too Soon
They haven't recovered.
*MINOR ENDGAME SPOILERS!*
I haven't either.
Michiru was at the store, picking out a new violin. She grabbed the perfect one for her- blue with waves.
Happy with her new purchase, she walked over to the checkout sign. Then, she got whiplashed with feels.
"Your total is 3000 yen."
"Mom, can we have cheeseburgers tonight?"
Another kid snapped, and Michiru screamed.
"NO! IT'S TOO SOON!"
Chapter 133: May 12: Mother’s Day Sheet
You know those “about my mom” sheets that you do on Mother’s Day? Here’s Hotaru’s.
My mom’s name is Haruka
My favorite thing about my mom is that she has a helicopter
My mom always says “fuck”
My mom likes when I kiss Chibiusa
I like it when me and my mom drive around together
I think my mom is cool
My mom’s name is Michiru
My favorite thing about my mom is that she paints pretty pictures
My mom always says “let’s go on a date”
My mom likes when I don’t go into her and Haruka’s room
I like it when me and my mom play music together
I think my mom is talented
My mom’s name is Setsuna
My favorite thing about my mom is that she’s a scientist
My mom always says “Pluto should be a planet”
My mom likes when I do my projects
I like it when me and my mom come up with cool inventions
I think my mom is smart
Chapter 134: May 13: Damn...
They’re not happy.
Based on my feelings today.
*POV of random worker at Big Gangan*
I was getting yet another phone call at my manga magazine job. I wasn’t normally flooded with calls, but today was different. Many people were calling- about only one thing.
”Hello, this is Big Gangan, Keito speaking.”
A familiar voice rang in the phone. “KEITO MAKE SURE THAT THERES A MAGICAL GIRL SPEC-OPS ASUKA CHAPTER IN THE NEXT BIG GANGAN BECAUSE THERE WASNT ONE LAST TIME AND IT MADE ME VERY ANGRY I WASTED MY MONEY FOR NOTHING OK OK BYE”
I rolled my eyes as the caller hung up.
”It’s Haruka and Michiru, the Asuka super fans.”
Chapter 135: May 14: Lost Cat
Diana's missing. So Haruka did something.
On TV. On their phones. On the radio. Even on laptop screens. Every screen in Juuban was playing the same message, and there was no escaping it.
"Have you seen a gray cat named Diana? Call this number! Million yen reward!"
The message beeped on Setsuna's iWatch, and she rolled her eyes.
"Seriously, Haruka? Did you really do that just for Hotaru?"
Chapter 136: May 15: Panic
There's panic everywhere since I forgot to write yesterday. Thank god for make up stories...
There were screams.
All of Juuban was screaming, "HELP!"
The world was ending, and nobody would get up.
Their world had no action.
But Haruka and Michiru woke up. They looked at each other, and gasped.
Apparently they were in a girl's online daily writing journal, and their tragedy was caused because she forgot to write that day.
Chapter 137: May 16: Michiru- The Closet Fan
Someone’s listening to something in the shower, and someone else ain’t pleased.
Listened to Ginga Ichi Mibun Chigai na Kataomoi on repeat today in the shower so this story was born.
Also, sorry I’ve been so mean to the Starlights in these stories, it’s just Haruka hates them and it’s from Haruka and Michiru’s POV. Personally, I love them and I’m planning a Three Lights concert tour with my friend!
A familiar feeling struck Haruka’s stomach. The familiar piercing stabbyness of- period cramps.
”It’s here again.”, she sighed and ran to the nearest bathroom. But as she walked into the bathroom, she heard some noises.
Shower noise. Like usual. Michiru loves that- WAIT A SEC!
The cramps turned into fire. Haruka ran to Michiru’s phone, typed in her passcode and turned the terrible noise off. “Ugh.”
”Hey, who turned off my music?”
”WHY WERE YOU LISTENING TO NAGAREBOSHI HE IN THE SHOWER? WE BANNED THAT SONG!”
Chapter 138: May 17: Skipping The Dance
They skipped the dance.
I skipped my school dance today so I made HaruMichi skip as well.
Haruka and Michiru were in their room, dancing to full-blast Queen. Everything was perfect.
But then, their little dance was interrupted by a knock on the door.
It was Hotaru.
"Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama, it's your school dance today! Why are you dancing in your room instead?"
Haruka and Michiru stared at eachother and laughed. Then, they looked back at Hotaru and sighed.
"It's a long story..."
"WHAT?", Hotaru yelled as she ran to the door. "Really?"
"How terrible! I didn't know the saviors of the universe had a criminal record! You could've gotten expelled for that, it's fucking Mugen Academy!"
"Still can't believe they brought wine to a school dance...", Hotaru scoffed as she hustled out of the room.
Once she was out, Michiru got a glass and yelled, "They call it Kurumi Mugen Academy of Torture, Medicine and Being A Crazy Lesbian for a reason!"
They high fived and took a sip of wine.
The music started again.
Chapter 139: May 18: Haruka’s Rant
The most embarrassing name out of everyone.
The one everyone mispronounces, all the goddamn time.
Sure, I’m badass, but I’m unlucky.
Of course, I had to be Sailor... George? At this rate, it should’ve been called George.
Not Your Anus. Not Your Eh Nus. And definitely not The Gay One. Because spoiler alert- if you’re straight and a Sailor Senshi, than you’re nonexistent. It’s a queers-only club..
Haha. Miss Your Anus is so angry about her name. At least I got the good name!
SHUT UP NEPTUNE ITS MY DIARY!
Chapter 140: May 19: Burning Crap
FIRE! FIRE! FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Michiru got out of the water, smiling as she smelt something familiar. Despite it being her polar opposite, the flames felt like a warm ocean breeze, calling out to her. She grabbed a towel and ran to the fire pit, a trail of water coming from behind her hair.
Haruka was standing right by it, holding a lighter up like it was a gun. "I'm burning up some toxic things."
"FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!", shouted Michiru as she ran by it to see what toxic things she was burning. When she saw what it was, she laughed.
It was a Three Lights cassette tape.
Chapter 141: May 20: Embarrassment
Ever get embarrassed when Sailor Moon music comes on on your playlist and you CAN'T HELP BUT YELL THE LYRICS? HaruMichi has had it worse.
The wind blew as fast as it could as Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh walked towards the new jewelry store. They were having a sale on diamond rings, so they decided to get rings to use to save for The Day. As Michiru tugged on Haruka's sleeve and smiled, Haruka glared at Michiru, who suggested the shopping trip.
"Um, Michiru, do you think this is even rational?"
Michiru nodded. "We promised to get engaged the second gay marriage becomes legal in Japan, and since Taiwan just legalized it, we could be next!"
The happy couple walked into the store, but they gasped the second they heard what was playing. They immediately started blushing, and gave each other glaring looks.
"Beat, beat, beat! Owari no nai!"
The two ran towards the rings.
"Beat, beat, beat! Sakai no hate e!"
They high fived and jumped as the beat got back in, yelling the rest of the lyrics to Kodo as the rest of the store attendees watched them dance, giving them dirty looks. "What in the world..."
Like every song, though, it eventually ended. And the next song embarrassed them even more.
"Ah shit, here we go again..."
It was Eternal Eternity, and they were blushing red since the entire store was watching them.
"Of course they had to play Kodo right before our stupid song."
"Why couldn't they just played Rebel Flag and then we could've continued our otaku dance party?"
THE BOPS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER:
-Kodo by Nonoc (the OP to HaruMichi's favorite anime and my personal favorite of 2019 so far, Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka)
-Eternal Eternity (by you know who)
Chapter 142: May 21: More Mad Libs
I had a hard day at work so I’m de stressing with Mad Libs.
It has come to my Door that you are the Luckiest girl in the Bed. My Foot starts Running a Iron every time you speak. I would like to sing if you want to go to the Tanbata Festival with me next Friday. If you Jump please Drive me at the Arena in a year. I play you and everything about you.
Chapter 143: May 22: The Periodic Table
The periodic table is lit.
Took a science test today and we were handed periodic tables. So this story was born.
There it was. Haruka and Michiru's new poster. An amazing one that would join all their other nerdy posters. At first glance, since it was a science one, it seemed more up Setsuna's alley, but in reality it was a symbol of love- that only people who knew the Senshi's identities would realize.
It was elements number 93 and 94 on the Periodic Table.
Uranium and Neptunium.
Right next to each other.
Chapter 144: May 23: The Last One Done
Haruka should've learned not to give warnings a century ago...
I was the last one to finish a test for the first time in my life today. I was shook, so I wrote this while we waited for the other classes to finish.
Haruka Tenoh knew that what her girlfriend would subject her to was the textbook definition of "torture". Everyone knew that Michiru Kaioh had some sort of special connection with the water. Some said the teenager was part fish. Because of that, it seemed preposterous that Michiru insisted on entering a swimming contest.
This contest wasn't your standard run-of-the-mill water race. It was an attempt to find the one person in all of Juuban that could swim the longest- and the event would not end until there was not one person left in the water. Haruka knew Michiru could swim for days at a time, and this would be an endangerment to the sanities of her and everybody around her.
Smartly, Haruka decided to stay back home and not go to the contest that Michiru was so excited about attending. But before she left, Haruka gave her one little note written on a yellow Post-It note:
"DON'T OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME."
Michiru ended up swimming for nineteen hours and thirty-two minutes.
Chapter 145: May 24: Pain
I probably named a chapter this already, but you’re getting another one because it’s all I’m feeling.
(From Haruka’s POV)
I don’t know what to do, diary.
The anime convention’s tomorrow, and me and Michiru were gonna meet Aya Suzaki and Akira Sekrine- EEK! OTP!
But anyways, it’s gonna be a long eight hour day at the convention, plus six hours to drive from Tokyo to Osaka and back. It seems like an OK thing, but there’s one problem: my back and legs are HURTING.
Hurting badly. So much pain, I want to die. Like, if I don’t get a second of sleep now than I’ll faint.
Wait a sec. Fainting...
I think I found the solution to my problems.
I need to turn on some anime and bang Michiru.
Chapter 146: May 25: What Happens When HaruMichi Isn't Banned From The Dance Floor
They've been banned before. Now, at this convention, they ain't, so they'll dance forever.
If there was one City Pop lyric to describe Haruka and Michiru at this moment, it would be 'keep on dancing'. They wouldn't stop dancing.
Even when they were told no, they still clashed their beer and weirdly danced.
Even when they were almost kicked out, Michiru threatened to torture the con staff person so they could still dance.
And it seemed like forever.
Almost an eternity.
If you weren't Haruka and Michiru,
They danced so long, they ended up missing meeting Aya Suzaki and Akira Sekine.
And boy, were they angry at themselves.
Chapter 147: May 26: Pluto's A Planet!
Haruka and Michiru roast Setsuna.
"What do you mean Pluto isn't a planet anymore?"
That was Setsuna Meioh's reaction to Pluto, her guardian planet, getting reclassified as a 'dwarf' planet, thirteen years ago. Thirteen years had passed, and yet she still felt as if Pluto was ditched- instead of just giving Eris planetary status, it dropped Pluto. This always had Setsuna shaking her head, but her housemates and co-parents, Haruka and Michiru, felt like it was a chore to remind Setsuna that Pluto wasn't a parent. But they still felt it was necessary. So they were always prepared.
It was nighttime, and Setsuna was on one of her drunken rants about PlUtO iS StIlL a PlAnEt.
So Haruka and Michiru walked straight into Hotaru's room, even though the poor tween was sleeping. They woke her up with tickles and dressed her.
"Is this necessary, Michiru-mama?", the tired Hotaru asked her mom as she held her hand, walking towards Setsuna. Haruka nodded. "Setsuna's a scientist, but you're smarter than her on this subject."
"So in conclusion FUCK NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON-"
As if on cue, Haruka, Michiru and Hotaru took off their jackets, revealing 'Pluto Is NOT A PLANET' shirts.
Setsuna cried for the rest of the night.
Chapter 148: May 27: Haruka Snaps
Haruka was tired. Sick of everyone and everything, except for Michiru, the only one on Earth who understood her.
When she tried to drive, she ended up passing the speed limit by triple digits.
When she tried to write, all she wrote was “uwu sisosowowowo”.
When she tried to literally do anything, it went wrong.
Or felt wrong.
Michiru wasn’t there, so Haruka was very close to snapping.
And in all her activities, it seemed like she already snapped.
Chapter 149: May 28: Parallel Universe
They wake up in another dimension...
Thanks TiredAsHaruMichi for the idea!
Haruka and Michiru both woke up, but they noticed everything seemed different.
Haruka's hair was black, and she was in a frilly suit.
Michiru felt her nails were too short, and her hair was too short, too.
Her boobs were gone, her cramps were gone, and she was in pants.
The pair looked at each other, and screamed.
They went to the bathroom just to make sure what they thought was real happened, and they screamed again.
Mamoru woke up, but his hair was too long and he felt something weird on his chest. No, his hair was- blond? And blue?
Mamoru, Haruka and Michiru gender swapped due to Hotaru and Chibiusa playing with Setsuna's science equipment.
And it took hours to get them back to normal.
Chapter 150: May 29: Just Kiss Already!
Haruka and Michiru scream at Captain Marvel.
I watched this epic movie for the fourth time today oops... anyways, CAROL X MARIA FOR LAIFUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Haruka and Michiru were sitting on the couch with their empty popcorn bags and half-drunk water bottles. Captain Marvel was finally out on Apple TV, and they got to watch it again- for the fourth time- but still weren't satisfied.
"Really, Marvel? Really?", shouted Haruka.
"The male heroes usually get 20 second long makeout scenes with a random ass girl, but Carol didn't even get to KISS Maria?"
Hotaru walked in in that moment. "Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama, not everyone's gay, 'ya know? I mean, there's Monica, so Maria was probably married at one point..."
Hotaru was slapped by her parents.
"MAKE IT CANON!"
Chapter 151: May 30: Taiki Jokes
On Taiki's birthday, Michiru found Haruka's journal full of Taiki jokes.
I'm a big Starlights fan so I decided to take advantage of the date and make Starlights jokes.
Haruka's Taiki Jokes
by Haruka Tenoh
"Roses are red
I'm Sailor Uranus
You could've found an attack
That wasn't called Star Gentle Uterus"
"What do you call a person with five heads? A Taiki!"
"The only thing Sailor Star Maker makes is bad blood."
"Taiki is what would happen if someone tried to make a Smart Doll out of a calculator and a book on periods."
Chapter 152: May 31: Hotaru Psycho 100
AU where Hotaru is a freelancer getting rid of evil spirits, kinda like in Mob Psycho 100, and HaruMichi has no clue.
Started MP100 today after a friend told me to. It's pretty good so far, but Mob kinda reminded me of Hotaru- so an AU was born!
Hotaru walked in to the door as the sun set. Haruka got it in a hurry, and she only had one question for her 'daughter'.
"Where were you?"
Michiru came to see her daughter, too. "Yeah, why were you out so late, it's 9 pm!"
300 yen fell out of Hotaru's bag, and she sighed.
"I think it's time I told you guys the truth."
"Fighting and killing spirits using ESP?"
"I was in a telepathy club back in the day, but it was as a joke- I didn't believe in it. Now, my daughter's doing it for 300 yen a hour?"
Hotaru nodded. "I work for some dude called Reigen. He gives me money, I beat the crap out of the spirits using my mind and guardian powers."
She shrugged and walked out, but Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother and gasped.
"MY GRANDMA SENT ME THERE ONCE SHE FOUND OUT I WAS GAY!"
"Thank god our love was real and not an evil aura.", said Michiru.
The two kissed.
Chapter 153: June 1: IT'S OUR MONTH!
It's The Month of HaruMichi.
Haruka and Michiru walked outside, wearing all rainbow clothes, rainbow face paint, rainbow hats and waving the LGBTQ+ flag, squealing and throwing rainbow confetti.
"HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!", they shouted using 2 big megaphones.
They cheered again, high fived, got in the car, and drove all around the neighborhood, throwing rainbow confetti.
Especially at the Chick-Fil-A.
When they passed there, they threw the rest of their confetti, shook their flags and yelled very loudly.
"PRIDE MONTH! PRIDE MONTH!"
Chapter 154: June 2: How To Lure Haruka To A Chick-Fil-A
This is how you lure Haruka to a homophobic place.
Michiru's Journal, June 2 2019
HOW TO LURE HARUKA TO A CHICK-FIL-A
Step 1: Call the local Chick-Fil-A
Step 2: Ask for the person who chooses their music
(It happened to be the person I was speaking to)
Step 3: Ask them to play "Africa" for 2 hours straight
(Turns out that the person was a Toto fan too :)
Step 4: Yell at Haruka, "THEY'RE PLAYING AFRICA AT CHICK-FIL-A LET'S GO"
(She screamed and got the helicopter.)
Step 5: Go to Chick-Fil-A
(Haruka did so in a hurry, forgetting their homophobia.)
Step 6: Enter premises
Why this failed: it's Sunday and turns out this person was just forced to work today as punishment so we couldn't go in and listen to Africa.
Haruka is relieved, though.
THANK GOD I DIDN'T STEP FOOT INTO THAT SHITTY ESTABLISHMENT JUST TO LISTEN TO A SONG I CAN LISTEN TO AT HOME!
(She's currently listening to it.)
The Africa memes will never stop.
Chapter 155: June 3: The Michiru Cult
What if there were 100 Michirus?
Haruka was sleeping, in a little delicate trance. But it was about to be broken.
She woke up. It was Michiru.
”Go back to bed, it’s 3 am!”
”But I don’t have room!”
Haruka looked around and gasped.
Turns out, there were like 99 other Michirus.
And only one Haruka.
(This was yet again because of a failed science experiment, and they’re safe now.
Chapter 156: June 4: Attack On Straight Pride
Straight pride? Who are you?
I got mad about the stupid Straight Pride homophobes event so I wrote HaruMichi beating it up in parody of Another One Bites The Dust-form.
If anyone wants to sing along here's the instrumental: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x5tvA8-msQ
15 homophobes walk warily down the street
With their 'Straight Pride' flag held up high
Ain't no sound but the sound of the helicopter,
Where Haruka and Michiru fly
Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway World Shaking rips
To the sound of Choubi! Uranus To Neptune
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, Michiru destroyed the sign
Another one bites the dust
How do the homophobes think they're going to get along
With nobody to hate
Well, Uranep proved that their strength
Truly moves love and justice
"Are they happy? Are they satisfied?
Just from making injustice?"
Out of the doorway Deep Submerge rips
To the sound of Eternal Eternity
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, people are leaving too, too
Another one bites the dust
Oh take it
Bite the dust
Hate can bite it!
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust oww
Another one bites the dust hey hey
Another one bites the dust eh eh
There are plenty of ways that you can hurt people
And bring them to the ground
You can beat them, you can cheat them
You can say their life choices are sins
But they're ready, yes, they're ready for you
Standing on their own two feet
Out of the doorway their strength rips
Repeating to the sound of Eternal Eternity oh yeah
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, nobody's there anymore, too
Another one bites the dust
Chapter 157: June 5: Lambo Speeding
Haruka's caught letting loose...
My dad told me today that a Lamborghini can go 300 miles an hour. Idk if that's true, but it's now true in this world!
P.S: I'M NOW ON SUMMER VACATION! YAY! BYE BYE MIDDLE SCHOOL
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
She didn't expect to get a ticket for speeding.
Ok, maybe Haruka Tenoh did. It was the afternoon and she was in her Lamborghini, about to pick up Hotaru from her last day of school before summer break.
Haruka knew too well that last days were pure and utter B.S, where they just got yearbooks and watched movies all day. Of course, one of them was 100% gonna be Despicable Me, the movie that literally EVERY TEACHER showed on the last day and every public school student had practically memorized. So she let Hotaru hang out for a few hours signing yearbooks, and then RUSHED to the school as quick as she could with Michiru by her side.
But the summer feeling that she had translated itself into a speeding car.
And now Haruka was driving into the parking lot, with a bigass parking ticket.
As Haruka walked in to the classroom where everyone was, Hotaru gasped.
"Haruka-papa, what are you doing here?"
"Michiru's in the car. Come on, let's go. Say bye to your friends."
"Yes! You'll get to see them in the fall. And at the Tanabata festival. And besides, do you really want to watch Despicable Me for the hundredth tim-"
Hotaru playfully slapped Haruka.
"NOT NOW! We're watching the Sailor Moon anime and IT'S CHIBIUSA'S TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE!"
Haruka then sighed as she sat down to watch with Hotaru and her friends.
I got a ticket for nothing...
P.P.S: We watched Despicable Me for like the 5th year in a row... but at least I begged the teacher into showing Sailor Moon R: Promise of the Rose after ;)
Chapter 158: June 6: Hiding
A flashback to the first time Haruka and Michiru attempted to have a date.
Wrote this because my crush is ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN ME IM SHOOK! I'm satisfied... but I'm a girl, she's a girl, I'm pansexual and haven't came out to my dad yet cause he's a homophobe. So I decided to imagine my situation with Haruka and Michiru...
"Who is this?", asked Michiru's mom.
"This is Haruka, my, um... friend. Yeah, my friend."
The girls then ran as fast as they could to Michiru's room.
Right then and there, Michiru's dad walked right by her mom.
"Does Michiru have a boy over?"
Mrs. Kaioh shrugged. "I wasn't able to tell if it was a boy or a girl. Some kid named Haruka that I've never met before. She's never mentioned this Haruka before..."
Kissing noises then came through the doors of Michiru's room.
"Yep. We've lost our daughter to the world of boys."
About 5 hours later, Haruka left the house, and the two hugged before she left.
But Michiru's parents laughed as she closed the door.
"Hey Michiru! Your boyfriend's wearing a skirt! That's some humor there. Must be a really funny guy-"
"HARUKA'S A GIRL! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!"
Michiru was kicked out of the house that night.
Chapter 159: June 7: Throwing Darts
This is what Haruka and Michiru do to avoid social interaction.
The rest of the partygoers at the random graduation party that Haruka and Michiru were going to were just staring at them.
No, not because their outfits were cute or they were crushing.
Because they were making a hell lot of noise.
You see, the party was at Rei's shrine, and she invited them and all the Senshi so she wouldn't be alone- but not before making sure the two had NO ALCOHOL.
To distract the couple from the wine the adults at the party were consuming, Rei bought 4 foam suction-cup darts for Haruka and Michiru to throw at the windows.
And these two were throwing them nonstop, making all the noise they could and screaming like kids.
"I got another one!"
As the girls laughed and laughed, Rei rolled her eyes.
"Inviting them was a mistake."
But Makoto, who was there, slapped her.
"At least they're not getting drunk."
Chapter 160: June 8: Raining Tacos
From out of the sky! TACOS.
No need to ask why I wrote this chapter. Just open your mouth and close your eyes.
Haruka was driving the helicopter, and Michiru was sitting right by the door, throwing things.
"Haruka, I think I threw too much cheese."
"Then throw some more shells!"
She did so.
In Juuban, though, a crowd was gathering, staring at the random things coming from the sky and the helicopter that was flying.
"A helicopter and raining tacos in one day? This is strange."
Hotaru and Chibiusa, on the other hand, were walking home from seeing Endgame for the sixth time- their contribution to 'Codename Help Endgame Beat Avatar At The Box Office'. When they walked out of the theater, though, they laughed once they saw the tacos flying AND the familiar helicopter.
"Your moms are crazy..."
Chapter 161: June 9: Let's Go Lesbians
Haruka and Michiru were chosen to run around Tokyo with a bunch of other lesbians and a random straight guy.
SORRY FOR FORGETTING YESTERDAY I HAD REALLY BAD ANXIETY ISSUES BUT HEY AT LEAST WE HAVE 2 CHAPTERS TODAY TO MAKE UP FOR IT! Anyways, this is inspired by a YouTube video called 'Billy On The Street: Lesbian Lightning Round' which is a meme so yay more HaruMichi memes
Haruka and Michiru were at a table at the park, sipping coffee. It was summer, and everything seemed peaceful.
Until a straight guy with a microphone and another couple of girls walked in.
"Hey, are you two lesbians?"
"Duh.", Michiru said.
"Do you want to run around Tokyo with us? It's for YouTube."
"How much are we getting paid?", asked Haruka.
"1 million yen!"
The cups broke as Haruka and Michiru sprang from the table and started running.
"Ok, it's time for a special Lightning Round! Today I'm running around Tokyo with a pack of wild lesbians! They're going to chase after people with me and help them answer questions! Let's go! Let's go lesbians, let's go!"
Haruka and Michiru rolled their eyes as they ran.
"This dude is obnoxious.", muttered Haruka.
They ran towards a dude. "For ten yen, who's sexier? Sailor Uranus or Sailor Neptune?"
Haruka and Michiru stopped for a second and stared at eachother.
"I have to go with Sailor Neptune."
The mic was then pointed to Haruka.
"Who do you think, lesbian?"
"Sailor Neptune, duh!"
The two laughed as the ten yen piece was handed. "Here you go, correct! Let's go, lesbians, let's go!"
More ten yen pieces were handed, more questions were answered, and Haruka and Michiru regretted everything. But it went too overboard when Haruka was allowed to ask a guy a question.
"For ten yen, who's sexier? Um, Asuka or Kurumi?"
"Is there a third option? I have to go with Francine."
Haruka then punched the dude.
"DON'T YOU KNOW THAT FRANCINE IS THE QUEEN OF THE BABEL BRIGADE YOU IDIOT YOU SUCK YOU SUCK..."
The host then came to them. "Welp, that's all the time we have today! Thanks for playing, lesbians, here's ten yen!"
Twenty yen was handed to Michiru, ten for her and ten for Haruka.
She stared at the coins as Haruka yelled at the dude.
"You said a million... DAMN YOU AND YOUR YOUTUBE SERIES!"
They regretted everything once the top headline was 'Haruka Tenoh Goes Crazy Over Anime'.
Chapter 162: June 10: Basketball Rickroll
Drunken French fries, beer and basketball lead to a crazy misunderstanding.
This has happened to me all NBA season long- probably because of the beer-battered French fries that they serve at the restaurant showing all the sports. So I felt like it would finally happen to HaruMichi.
Also, I wrote this chapter while I was drunk.
Also, I added a reference to one of my fanfics from earlier this year. If you can spot it, kudos to you!
Haruka and Michiru were smiling, nibbling on their beer-battered French fries and sipping their beer. It was a Monday night date night, and they suspected it would be nice and quiet at the local sports bar. But it was anything but.
"AHHH!", screamed a bunch of basketball fans as the big TV started playing a basketball game.
Haruka rolled her eyes. "Sports?"
"This is the Tokyo Ale House, what did you expect, anime?"
"WE CAME HERE FOR THE BEER, MICHI!"
As the announcers kept on talking and talking, a little sidebar came up.
"NEXT: WARRIORS VS RAPTORS"
Michiru, who was sipping on her third bottle that night, screamed.
"What? Is sports interesting all of a sudden?"
"IT SAYS WAR NURSE VS RAPTURE!"
Haruka looked at the TV in disbelief. Then, she looked at Michiru.
The two drunken lesbians ran to the front of the pit of basketball fans and started screaming.
"YES! THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!"
"THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE!"
"MAYBE THIS IS WHY LIDEN HASN'T DONE SEASON 2 YET, THEY WERE TOO BUSY ANIMATING THIS FIGHT!"
As the girls went crazy, the basketball fans stared at the couple.
"So, who are you rooting for?", asked one fan in a Warriors shirt.
The couple stared at eachother.
"Um... we don't know who's going to win.", said Michiru with a shrug.
One guy laughed. "It's obvious it's going to be the Raptors."
Haruka and Michiru screamed. "YES! RAPTURE! RAPTURE!"
"Will she rip War Nurse apart, though?", asked Michiru. Haruka was too busy whipping her beer glass around. "RIP THEM TO SHREDS, RAPTURE TALON!"
Michiru took another sip of wine and sighed. "But what about War Nurse? She can Magical Truth Serum, Magical Spank, Magical Torture-"
The basketball fans stared at Michiru like she was crazy.
"The Magic didn't make it to the finals this season, noob."
"Huh? What finals? And aren't Rapture and War Nurse part of the Magical Five-"
"Raptors? Warriors? Magic? You're seriously drunk, you keep on messing up team names!"
Haruka and Michiru broke their alcoholic drinks. "TEAM NAMES?"
"Yeah! BASKETBALL!" The jocks went insane as the game started.
"NOW: WARRIORS VS. RAPTORS"
Dejected, Haruka and Michiru went back to their seats.
"It was just similarly named basketball teams.", they both sighed.
They left the sports bar and went to an empty one where they had 20 bottles for the rest of the night, sighing in their misfortune.
Chapter 163: June 11: A Sea Of Pain
I wrote 2 long chapters in 2 days I deserve a short chapter especially since the red devil came
Haruka and Michiru looked at eachother.
They felt the red tide of annoyance.
The rolling waves of pain.
The wind of cramps.
Every little feeling that came once every month.
Chapter 164: June 12: The Whoopie Pie Bandits
They stole the whoopie pies.
A headline about a whoopie pie thief came on my family's Alexa as I tried to come up with an idea for today. Thanks, Alexa. Now play Despacito.
'Come and Get Your Love' played overhead on the grocery store speakers. Everything seemed calm, since there was nobody there. Well, nobody but Haruka and Michiru.
Michiru was holding a basket, and Haruka ran through the aisles. Looking for only one kind of food.
Once she saw them, she jumped and grabbed every last one of them with one scoop.
"We've got the whoopie pies!"
Michiru winked at her lover. "Thank you for that. Now, let's run!"
They ran out of the store in a hurry.
The next morning, a grocery store worker was walking and gasped when he walked by the whoopie pie section.
"Why are there no more whoopie pies?"
Meanwhile, Haruka and Michiru were savoring their bites of the fluffy goodness.
"Thank god we stole the whoopie pies from that store.", said Michiru.
Haruka nodded. "We don't usually steal, but we were cramping and there was no more chocolate and all the stores were closed and it was 2 am-"
Chapter 165: June 13: I'll Miss This Place
As Michiru is about to embark on her tour, she admires her city.
One more week and then I'M HAVING 2 BACK-TO-BACK VACATIONS! I'll be in New York on the 21st to the 28th and Disney World from the 30th to the 6th (one's with my mom and sister and the other's with my dad so don't assume I'm a gold digger). Michiru's tour will be pre-written and published during the vacations!
The glow of the city. The familiar sea breeze that the sports car brought to her hair. The full-blast GARNiDELiA on the speakers. The peaceful drizzle of humidity.
It was a perfect Japanese night, and Michiru usually took these nights for granted, but she smiled. In just one week, she'd be off to Okinawa to start her two-week sold out violin tour.
Sure, she loved playing her violin. But Tokyo was her city- the one she loved the most.
"I'll miss this place.", Michiru said, turning down Hysteric Bullet.
As Haruka stopped jamming out, she looked at Michiru and smiled.
"But this is going to be the best tour ever. And we'll make a lot of new memories."
"But still, there's no city like Tokyo."
As the light turned red, the couple kissed, rain pouring down on them.
Chapter 166: June 14: I Hear The Drums Echoing Tonight
They go insane.
Africa came on at a restaurant I was at. I put down my fries and went on my notes app and wrote a fanfic.
They were calmly eating their French fries appetizer. Nothing seemed like it was crazy. But a familiar beat filled the speakers.
Michiru put down her fry. “What?”
Haruka turned. “What’s the matter, Michiru?” She shoved a bunch of fries in her mouth.
She shrugged. “You’ll realize it in a little bit.”
I hear the drums echoing tonight...
Haruka winked at Michiru.
In sync, both of them screamed “BUT SHE ONLY HEARS WHISPERS OF QUIET CONVERSATION!”
The fries were ignored for 4 minutes as they danced near the table.
Chapter 167: June 15: Isekaied Into A Dystopia
Haruka and Michiru have been yeeted.
Haruka and Michiru were just waking up, like normal. But something felt wrong.
They looked out the window. This wasn’t normal Tokyo.
People were getting robbed and yeeted off cliffs, and fires were burning everywhere.
”ALL HAIL QUEEN GALAXIA!”, was all they could hear, besides faint shouts of “revolution?”
Confused, Haruka and Michiru glanced at each other and shrugged.
”Hotaru was playing with the science equipment again.”
My goal was to make the cheesiest dystopia. And I won.
Chapter 168: June 16: BEAT AVATAR!
Our waifus buy a billboard.
Saw Endgame again today (this was round 4!) to help #BeatAvatar. I decided to let Haruka and Michiru help too.
"Do you think this is good?", asked Michiru.
Most people would be confused at the sheer sight of her right now. She was standing on top of a billboard, holding on by a bungee cord that Haruka was holding from her helicopter. She was holding a paintbrush, despite her being scared at the thought of dropping it, but she knew what her lover let her do was going to be worth it.
They were at the billboard right by Starlight Cinemas 24. Haruka was renting it for 50,000 yen a day until Michiru was done with her tour, and Michiru was painting an important message on it.
"WATCH ENDGAME! #BeatAvatar"
"Perfect!", cheered Haruka as she pulled her girlfriend up.
Once she was back on the helicopter, with paint all over, Michiru gave Haruka a messy smile.
"This will help. Hopefully by the time tour's over, Endgame's number one!"
Chapter 169: June 17: How To Make A Movie
Look out, Hollywood.
Haruka looked at her bank account. 4,590,232,294,393 yen.
Thirteen digits of cash.
She then turned to Michiru.
"What should I do with all this? I'm set for life!"
Michiru shrugged. "How about you make a movie?"
"Yeah! A movie! If there's money already, you can make anything!"
"Well, don't you need a good idea already?"
Shaking her head, Michiru giggled and looked at her phone.
"Hey, did you forget about Hot Tub Time Machine?"
"WHAT? I thought that was just a movie they made up for Endgame!"
"How about Red Scorpion?"
"I thought that was just a movie they came up with for Magical Girl Spec-Ops!"
"Snakes On A Plane?"
"They really made a movie about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane? Come on Michiru, we can do better."
They both put their fists in the air.
"WE'RE MAKING A MOVIE!"
Chapter 170: June 18: Getting Roasted
Michiru's script gets roasted yet again.
This happened to me yet again today so I decided to make it happen to Michiru as well. (By the way, the comments and ratings she got are real feedback I got, so if you're reading this dude that reviewed my script on ScriptMother today, hi and thanks for roasting my script!)
"WHAT?", screamed Michiru.
She just joined a script peer reviewing site, and her script was finally reviewed by a user. But there was a slight problem: it was a negative review.
"This concept is unoriginal and has been done to death."
"The story was very hard to follow along, and I lost track of what was going on."
"The dialogue is all over the place."
"Add more character development!"
Michiru grumbled as she closed her computer.
"GODDAMN IT! IT WAS BASED ON A FANFICTION WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?"
Chapter 171: June 19: Cruel Angel's Thesis
HaruMichi only know the Evangelion parody version.
Blame MARiA from GARNiDELiA and the creator of the 4Kids Evangelion parody for this chapter.
Haruka and Michiru were screaming at the top of their lungs. They just were having the time of their lives- they were at a GARNiDELiA concert, living it up. But little did they know that they'd about to be embarrassed as hell.
It was nearing the end of the concert- and there was only one song that Haruka and Michiru knew that MARiA, the lead singer, hadn't sung yet.
The one song that made them GARNiDELiA fans. The one song that they would scream and know all the words to. The one they'd get lit to.
"Ok, we have two more songs! This next one, everyone here knows."
Haruka and Michiru squealed. It was the one they were all waiting for.
The song began. But it wasn't that.
The entire crowd screamed and joined in. Everyone but Haruka and Michiru.
"KAZE GA IMA..."
They both looked at each other.
"They're getting the lyrics wrong..."
"LIVIN IN THE FLOODED STREETS OF NEW ORLEANS
GENDO, SHINJI'S FATHER, IS A SCIENTIST, OKAY
SO HE BUILT A GIANT ROBOT FOR SHINJI'S BIRTHDAY
SHINJI'S FRIEND REI KNOWS HOW TO BUST A CAP
WHEN SHE'S NOT FIGHTING ALIENS SHE'S TAKIN' A NAP
WITHOUT ASUKA FROM GERMANY EVERYBODY WOULD BE LOST
HER COUNTRY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HO!
Everyone else looked at Michiru and Haruka like they were crazy and continued singing the real lyrics.