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Henry's big blue bouncy book of bafflement

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Ruby red like a candy apple from those fairs when you were a child, the ones everybody avoided due to the unsavory rumors about sanitary issues, her lips glinted with almost an unworldly glow. 'Samson.' She purred in an imitation of a lawn mower that had been caught in a bear trap while it was chasing panicked villagers across the village square. 'Samson with your matted orange hair done up like a bad Sci-fi villain and your muscles the size of small pink fleshy coloured mini vans, you make a pretty picture in my vintage 1962 shiny plastic vinyl miniskirt with see through purplish pink polka dots and lemon yellow piping trim. However...'

'This.' Thought Henry. 'Is where I add some plot. First off. Angst. '

'Your stretching it!' She screamed simultaneously managing to sounding like a hyper active poodle meeting a zombie for the first time and the aforementioned lawnmower after it had managed to lose both the bear trap and it's back left wheel.

He sat back and stretched. Best seller for sure. And there was no way on earth Will would ever be able to beat his word count. It was all about the adjectives baby.


Meanwhile in another room.

He leaned back and put his feet that were clad in $700 dollar shoes on to his pristine glass topped desk. 'Well darling he drawled to the stunningly ugly woman before him. Actually, as calling her a woman would probably garner a large amount of hate mail, he decided to call her a "thing". 
'Well "thing".' He smirked. 'To what do I owe the pleasure of dealing with you today to?'
It smiled in a grotesque parody of a smile and unrolled the largest tongue he had ever seen.
SMASH!! His window shattered as a scantily clad young woman smashed her way through his window. It took her awhile as she only had a plastic spoon to break the glass with. So to tell the truth it was more of a, Bonk! Scritch Scritch. "Can somebody open the window for me? No? Then I'll kick it in! Hiya!!!" 'My name is Helen!' She shouted as the last bit of glass fell out of the frame....

Will sat back and glared at his screen. 'How did that sneak in?' He wondered. His crush was PRIVATE! Private damn it! He whopped his head against the wall a couple times trying to clear the cobwebs then got back to work.

'My name is MARTHA!' She shouted (Amending her name to better hide Will's completely obvious crush on his boss) as she threw a glowing blue object at the walking dung heap. Winking at him she shouted. 'You'd better get down detective this thing is gonna blow!'
He ducked.


Ashley was hunched over her computer hard at work. This writing thing was harder than it looked but there was no chance in hell that either Will or Henry would beat her this year. She'd get a hundred words this year even if she had to stay up all night.

'Well Ashley?' Said the bunny to the unicorn. 'Ready to kick some butt?' The unicorn nodded. 'I sharpened my horn specially for today. How about you Bob?' 'Well.' Said the bunny, Bob, grinning as he reached into his burrow. ' I have a new assault rifle that's just begging to be tried out. What do you say to roasted Care Bears tonight. I'll bring the beer and BBQ sauce.' The unicorn nodded, shaking out her blond mane. 'I say. Your on.' Bob the bunny hopped onto the unicorns back and they galloped across the meadow scattering the butterflies with their blood thirsty battle cries.

Nanowrimo had some interesting entries that year