Jared wiped away another tear as he looked down at the divorce papers in front of him. He had given all he had in him to try and make his marriage to Genevieve work, but the last six months was a living hell for him. When Genevieve came to him six months ago and told him to spend less time with his best friend (Her exact words were, "It's getting out of hand Jared") that was the last straw. He knew that season fifteen was going to be the last one and something inside him was telling him to spend as much time as possible with Jensen. He never thought about what it had looked like to his wife though. At first he had tried to go to less events that he knew Jensen would be at or make up excuses to tell him as to why he couldn't be at a certain gathering or meet up at FBBC. Jared could tell Jensen was catching on to him, Jensen knew something was going on and It was putting a strain on their friendship and Jared couldn't stand it.
Jared realized his friendship to Jensen was more important than his relationship to his wife, maybe it always had been, which should have shocked him to the core but it seemed like a ‘duh’ moment instead. He had relied on that friendship for almost fifteen years and he knew his feelings he had for Jensen in the beginning never really went away. Gen came around after he told her how he had always felt for Jensen and she understood his predicament.
He looked over at his soon to be ex wife from across the kitchen counter and she gave him a small smile and a slight nod. "It's ok Jared." She made her way to where Jared was sitting and started massaging his shoulders gently. "You can't live like this forever."
Jared turned in his chair and looked up at her “I’m so sorry Gen. I tried so hard and I failed you. What is the point of this?” He pointed down at the divorce papers angrily. “What if he don’t feel the same?”
“Jared, I don’t care what anybody says, that man loves you so much. You can see it by the way he looks at you. Why do you think I told you to lay off spending time together?” She picked up the pen and handed it to him, then continued, “And even if he don’t feel the same, then at least you know you tried.” She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. “You didn’t fail either, not by a long shot. You taught me so much Jared. You gave me the happiest years of my life and we have three wonderful kids to show for it.”
“Why are you always right?” Jared smiled at her.
“Because I’m good like that.” Genevieve shrugged then ruffled Jared’s hair. “Now sign those and go get your man.”
Jared shook his head as he thought about how blessed he was to have her still on his side. He looked at her and could see tear tracks on her face but also a smile full of understanding and his heart felt a little lighter from the impact of her words. She was right it was time to let go of the lies and let the truth set him free. So he signed on the dotted line.
Fortunately for Jared, the divorce happened during the hiatus between season fourteen and the final season fifteen of Supernatural, so he had time to adjust to his newly single life. It wasn't easy at all, considering most days he spent lying in bed all day avoiding phone calls and messages from friends and family, most of those coming from Jensen.
Jared knew he was taking the cowards way out, but he just couldn’t bring himself to have that talk with Jensen yet. He couldn’t lose the last certain thing he had in his life by telling him. Jared had lost his marriage, he was losing the tv show he had been on for the past fifteen years, so no he could not risk losing the greatest man he ever met. The other days when he wasn't wallowing in his own self pity, he was enjoying time with his kids when Gen dropped them off.
Him and Genevieve still shared small hugs and smiles with each other and she would ask him every time she dropped off the kids if he had talked to Jensen yet. Today wasn’t any different.
“Jared he is so worried about you. You’re gonna have to talk to him sooner or later.”
“I will next week when I see him on set. I promise.” He sat down on his couch and smiled, listening to the kids running around playing always put him at ease, until he realized what else she said. “You talked to him? Did you tell him?” Jared quickly sat up and stood in front of Genevieve before pacing back in forth.
“He called me and I answered like best friends do, Jared.” She reached out and grabbed his wrist preventing him from making a hole in the floor. “Danneel told him about the divorce and he was concerned about how you were taking it. I haven’t said anything about how you feel. That’s your story to tell.” She cupped his face making him look at her. “You can’t avoid this forever. That’s all I’m saying.”
Jared released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I know. I...maybe I can invite him over after you leave with the kids.”
“If you would answer the phone like normal people, you would know him and Danneel are vacationing in Hawaii right now.” Jared sat back down on the couch and let out a sigh of defeat, as he ran his his hand through his hair. “Otherwise Jared, he would have been here busting down the door and knocking some damn sense in your big head.”
Jared looked up at her with a confused look on his face.
Genevieve shrugged, “His words, not mine.”
Hearing that brought out a small chuckle from Jared. He looked over as he felt her sit down next to him and looked over at her smiling. “They get back Friday and he already said he was coming here as soon as he drops off Dani and the kids.” She paused and shook her head still smiling. “You both are idiots in my opinion.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing. Just promise me you will talk to him.”
Jared squinted at her as she gave him her famous ‘I don’t know nothing’ look. He laid his head on the back of the couch and sighed. “Yeah you’re right. I gotta get out of my own head and just say something to him.”
Genevieve stood up and faced Jared as she put her hands on her hips. “That’s what I’ve been saying!” She gave him a mock glare. “We need our old Jared back. Now get up and give me one of those famous Padalecki hugs before I take these rugrats to the park.”
As Jared pulled her in for a hug he realized he still loved her. She always would be one of his best friends, and most importantly the mother to his three beautiful kids. That’s all she would be though, a best friend he loved. Unlike the best friend he was in love with.
Unfortunately the week went by a lot faster than Jared would have liked it to. It was already around seven o’ clock Friday night and he felt like he was going to throw up any second. He had spent the whole day cleaning his house and running errands trying to keep his mind occupied but was unsuccessful. He already had second thoughts about coming clean to Jensen. What the hell good would it do anyway? Either he would be disgusted by Jared and never be able to be near him again or Danneel would find out he had the hots for her husband and he would ruin a loving marriage.
Maybe if he was lucky, Jensen would be too tired to come by and check on...
“JARED TRISTAN PADALECKI! OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR NOW! AND IF YOU’RE NOT DEAD IN THERE IM GONNA KILL YOU!”
“Oh shit” Jared mumbled to himself, knowing he had never heard Jensen so angry in fifteen years.
Jared hesitantly opened the door to a furious Jensen Ackles. Which in any other circumstance would have been hot as hell but not today. Jared looked down and noticed Jensen had brought over a couple of six packs and what looked like food from Jared’s favorite Chinese restaurant. God this man just got back from his family vacation and brought all this over for me, Jared thought, and that’s why he had fallen for this man so many years ago.
Jensen took a few steps forward causing Jared to wince and step back expecting a punch to the face, which he thought he deserved, but it never came. “I’m not gonna hit you Jay.” He walked past Jared and sat the bags of food and beer on the kitchen counter, then turned back to look at Jared. “Just please explain to me why you haven’t picked up your fucking phone.” Jared started to speak but Jensen continued talking, “then I want you to explain how my best friend couldn’t tell me he had gotten a divorce! Do you know how that makes me feel!” Jensen yelled, causing Jared to finally break down in tears.
“I’m so sorry Jen.” Jared mumbled to the floor hating that he had caused Jensen to go through all of this.
“I thought we were closer than that man.” Jared could hear him getting closer and felt when Jensen put his finger under his chin until he was looking into those beautiful green eyes that held so much pain. He couldn’t cause Jensen anymore of that pain by telling him the truth. It could wait. “God Jay, come here.”
Jared went willingly into the warm embrace he had missed so much for the past few weeks causing him to break more. He turned his head into Jensen’s neck and smelt the familiar scent of what Jared had always considered home and safety. No way would he risk losing this. “Jensen, you’re the person I am the closest with. Telling you about the divorce would make it all real. I wasn’t ready for that yet.” He mumbled against Jensen’s shirt.
Jared leaned back and saw a couple of tears coming from his best friend. “Why are you crying?” Jared chuckled as he wiped away Jensen’s tears with his fingers.
“It scared the shit out of me Jay when you didn’t answer the phone.”
“I know you are Jared. Just please don’t do that again.” He smiled and Jared realized he was still stroking Jensen’s face. He was shocked when Jensen actually leaned into the touch. “No more secrets.” Jensen gave him a stern look and Jared’s heart dropped along with the hand he had on Jensen’s face. He couldn’t tell Jensen, he would just suck it up and get over his feelings. He could do that.
“I promise jerk.” Jared said causing a smile to form on Jensen’s beautiful lips.
Jared felt a smile form on his own lips. The first one in awhile.
“There’s that killer smile I’ve been missing.” Jared didn’t have time to hide the blush that caused, before he felt Jensen lean up and kiss him on one of his dimples.
Fuck! This was gonna be a lot harder than he thought.