“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Alice Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
Somewhere deep down…
When she first came to be, all Frisk could see was utter darkness.
What’s going on? she thought. Am I dreaming?
The next sensation she felt was an incredible pain. It seemed to spread out all over her body, both inside and outside, but it seemed to be the worst in her stomach and waist region. She also felt cold. Very, very cold, and the air had the smell of saltwater… and blood.
“Ugh,” she muttered when she tried calling out.
After a few moments, Frisk finally managed to open her eyes. All she could see at first was a dimly glowing flower in the distance, surrounded by impenetrable darkness.
As her vision got clearer, the luminous flower seemed to glow brighter and shewed Frisk the rocky interior of the place. The ground, for the most part, seemed to be made of complete solid stone, with the occasional grass or flower sprouting out, and the wall behind the glowing large flower was rocky as well and seemed to curve outward the higher it went. Frisk then noticed that the ground she was laying on was for the most part very soft, and then when she looked down she saw that she was laying on a wet beach of sorts. Frisk came to the conclusion that she was in some sort of an underground beach. She couldn’t bother thinking of any reason why because she was as terrified as she was confused.
“Wh-where am I?” Frisk said to herself. “What’s going on?”
The only sounds she heard in this dark, cavernous place was the strange sound that came from the glowing plant, and the distant splashes of waterfalls, which made Frisk realize this cavern was bigger than she thought.
“He-help!” Frisk shouted. “Anyone!”
There was no reply, but the echo of her voice through the cavern. If there was anyone nearby they would most likely have at least heard the echo. But nobody came.
Frisk trembled not just of cold, but of panic as well. She was terrified. Not only was she seemingly alone, but she had no recollection of anything. Where was she and what’s with this incredible pain?
Frisk tried standing up, but it proved more difficult than she thought. It hurt so much. It was like she hadn’t stood up in years, and so she just immediately fell back down and her face landed in a shallow puddle. She muttered and tried pulling herself up again. But then Frisk became stunned when she saw the reflection of a horrifyingly mutilated face in the puddle.
It was a female face that looked battered and bruised, with blue and purple streaks around one of her eyes, and the nose was broken. Not only that, but the face was also covered in small cuts and splinters. It was like this girl was hit in the face with a wooden plank.
Realizing this was her face, Frisk unsurprisingly, became very terrified.
This is a nightmare, she thought to herself. This has to be a nightmare.
But the worst part was yet to be discovered, as she realized when she looked at the palm of her hand. It was not only wounded with few splinters, but it was also painted red with blood. Her blood. Even with her somewhat delirious phase, Frisk could tell that this large amount of blood couldn’t have come from just a few splinter wound.
Then she realized that just a moment ago, this palm was touching her waist where most of the agony came from, and she had felt something hard sticking out.
Finally, she managed to sit up on her knees and then, scared beyond belief, Frisk looked down at her stomach to see what she had touched, hoping to god it wasn’t her bone sticking out.
“Oh… oh god,” she instinctively muttered out when she saw the source of her immense pain.
A large, shattered piece of wood was impaled in her waist, and blood was seeping from the gaps around it.
Dozens of questions filled her mind, questions like: Where am I? What the hell is happening? WHY is this happening? Why is there no one around? And last but not least: What the hell should I do now?
But Frisk couldn’t bring herself to ponder any possible solutions, not at the moment at least, for this situation terrified her too much to think about anything else except for the present predicament. Instead, in an illogical impulse controlled by her fears, she put her bloodied hand on the wooden shrapnel piece and attempted to pull it out.
She only managed to pull out about an inch before a short but very sharp stinging pain caused her to stop and wince in pain.
“Oh god, this hurts,” Frisk said to herself trembling.
The pain made her eyes water. After a moment of calming down, she wiped some tears off her face and put both her hands on the wood.
“All right,” she said to herself. “Let’s try this again.”
Filled with all the determination she could manage, she mustered immense strength and began pulling it out.
“Oh fuck,” she instinctively said out loud.
Every pull she made worsened the sharp pain.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.”
The wood was now halfway out. It stung so much her eyes began to water again.
Tears began running down her bruised cheeks as the pain kept rising. She was now pulling much slower, and a small but growing part of her was now begging her to stop. But despite the overwhelming agony, she stayed determined.
The wooden piece was almost out of her now. Only a few more pulls.
“Almost,” she reassured herself, her eyes now blinded by tears. “Almoooosssst.”
And with great and quick effort, she ripped the last piece out. At the moment she did, overwhelming anguish spread from that wound to all over her body, causing Frisk to release from deep within her bowels a loud wail of agony. Her cries echoed throughout the deep cavern, but once again, nobody came.
Frisk panted heavily as she tried to calm herself. Then she looked at the half bloodied stake in her hands that just a moment ago was impaled deep within her waist.
“Th-there,” she said to herself trembling. “It’s done.”
But her feelings of mild triumphs were short, as she noticed that blood was now seeping through the wound in greater quantities since there was nothing to clog it anymore. Panicking, Frisk tried blocking it with her one hand while she tried to rip a piece of her striped shirt with her other hand.
“Oh fuck fuck FUCK!” said Frisk in a mixture of irritation and panic. “What the hell was I thinking?”
Managing to rip a piece out after being forced to use her teeth for an assist, she ineptly tied the fabric around her wound as best as she could from her lacklustre medical knowledge and tightened it.
It seemed to have worked, for the tight binding managed to lessen the bleeding quite a bit.
Frisk felt exhausted now. Her last few acts felt like the most gruelling things she had ever done, and so she just laid down with her back facing the ground.
“What the- what the fuck is going on here?” she asked herself.
She looked at the darkness above her, trying to see stars or anything that could be construed as a light source. The best things she could find were tiny shining dots far in the distance. Frisk wasn’t sure these were stars though, for much like the glowing flower, they seemed to fade and grow in brightness.
It was kind of soothing she felt. Staring at almost empty nothingness with no noise in her vicinity but her breathing.
Also, and Frisk wasn’t sure if it was due to immense blood loss, but she felt kind of numb and tired. Very, very tired in fact. She wanted to rest.
Just a little bit, she thought to herself.
And then she closed her eyes and dozed into a short sleep.
Suddenly, a rush of countless memories all of a sudden flashed before her eyes in an instant and she jerked awake. It was like waking up from a nightmare as she laid there gasping for air. She didn’t know how or why, but she somehow remembered everything now. She remembered her friends, her enemies, her purpose and all the events in the last few days that led her to this agonizing moment.
But the thing that most distracted Frisk was that she had somehow managed to forget this.
“How did I forget?” she said to herself panting. “How the fuck did I forget?”
Feeling an immense rush of adrenaline, Frisk managed to make herself stand up for the first time. Her waist and bones stung as she did, but she ignored it.
Frisk painfully wandered back and forth as she tried to digest her countless memories, and ponder dozens of speculations.
“I must have bumped my head on something when I fell,” she suggested to herself. “Or maybe there some time paradox shit going on or some nonsense like that.”
Then her thought went elsewhere, to her friends and the awful event that led her to this dark place, for whatever caused her sudden amnesia wasn’t as important compared to the tragedy that just occurred.
Frisk knew she had to go back, to warn everyone and prevent the attack from even happening, but she didn’t know how. There was barely anything in this dark place she could find that would help her load.
“I-I have to go back,” she said as her mind began scrambling for ideas. “I need to go back somehow, I-”
Frisk stopped mid-sentence as she glanced the cold, dark water. An awful idea popped into her head, an idea so terrible she couldn’t believe she even considered it. But it was the only way, the only way she could think of that is. She spent a few good moments staring at the lake, trying desperately to think of other options, ones less painful and quicker. But the shattered wood wasn’t sharp enough and there weren’t any loose rocks, so it was either the lake or waiting for hours until she bled out.
With that awful realization out of the way, Frisk closed her eyes and began to mentally prepare herself.
“Don’t worry,” she said to herself. “It will all be over soon.”
With her eyes still closed, she began to slowly walk towards the water.
“It will all be over soon, it will all be over soon,” she kept repeating to herself as she neared the dark water.
She felt her feet touch the freezing water, and she shuddered.
“It- it will be over soon, it will all be over soon.”
Frisk walked a bit further until the cold water was up to her knees. She winced as the freezing salt water seeped into the wounds on her legs.
“It will-it will all be over soon, it will all be over s-soon.”
She sat down on her knees in the cold water.
“It will all be over soon.”
She laid on her back and floated lightly in the water. She breathed irregularly. It was cold, and she was scared.
Frisk stared at the endless darkness above her once more and closed her eyes. She calmer now, and breathed easier. She was ready.
Let’s do this, she thought.
Then Frisk took a deep breath and pushed herself into the water. It wasn't that shallow this close to the beach, so it only took a few seconds before she reached the bottom. Even though she wasn’t trying to, she instinctively tried holding in her breath. But after a few seconds, she stopped.
She opened her eyes as her body seemingly jolted awake like from a bad dream. She saw nothing in the green, foggy water except for the red smoke that seeped from her wounds and to the surface. Bubbles floated from her mouth as she began gasping for air. A part of her tried to make her go up the surface, but Frisk held herself still and grabbed an underwater root to help keep herself down.
God, it hurts.
It was like a constant struggle between her mind and body. Litres and litres of water entered her mouth and lungs, and she felt water pour through her dozens of wounds. It hurt so much, but Frisk kept going, holding herself still as best she could.
She saw her life flash before her once more as her lungs were filled with water. She saw her friends, family, her happy moments, and her worst days. But it was too late to stop now.
Her vision was getting dark, and she felt her body giving up. In the end, she saw a light, and then darkness. Then Frisk let out a last minuscule breath as her lifeless body floated gently to the surface.
Frisk saw nothing. Not darkness with a hint of light or even darkness in general. Just nothing.
Then she saw her soul, a red coloured heart shaped object floating in the emptiness. Then there came a sort of yellow star-like object that seemed to twist and change in shape at every turn. Frisk felt a longing to reach out and touch it. When she did, her soul moved and absorbed the glowing shape and then the entire void was filled with blinding light alongside all of Frisk hopes and dreams, and fears and horrors as she saw all her possible pasts, presents and futures appear before her very eyes, if what she had in the void could be called eyes, in just an instance. But in almost the same moment they appeared, the flashes vanished from her sight and once again became distant long forgotten memories deep within the recesses of her consciousness. And then Frisk woke up…
“Ugh,” muttered Frisk as she struggled to wake up. She felt herself laying on her back on something hard… and wet.
Must be imagining, she thought.
Her blurry vision was getting better, and she had mustered enough energy to stand up.
I’m ready, she thought.
And when she managed to wake up, she became more horrified beyond reason. She refused to believe this was happening. She thought that maybe this was an illusion created from time paradoxes, or maybe time had yet to adjust to sudden changes or something. But the truth was worse.
She was still there, in the deep dark caverns, laying on the rocky floor on where she got her memories back.
“No!” she said. “No,no,no,no,NO! This can’t be happening. Oh god, this can't be happening.. I shouldn’t have loaded here, I didn’t save, I didn’t FUCKING save! This has to be a nightmare oh god please let this be a nightmare, god please someone please...”
Frisk frantically tried standing up before immediately slipping on the wet stone and falling face first into the hard floor. It hurt so much she couldn’t breathe.
She began to cry as she sat down on her knees.
“HELP,” she yelled into the darkness. “SOMEONE! SOMEBODY PLEASE… *sob*...HELP... ME!”
There was no answer, but the echo of her sobbing voice.
“HELP ME PLEASE!”
She cried and cried uncontrollably as the grim reality dawned on her. She was alone, in this cold, dark place with nothing but her immense guilt and terror to keep her company. There was no one around, and no one who could hear her cries.
“Oh fuck I’m so sorry,” she muttered to herself. “Flowey, Max, Undyne, Gerson, everyone. I am so sorry. I have failed you. I was so clumsy a-a-and stupid that I’ve... fucked it up and failed you somehow. Oh god, I am so… sorry.”
Weeping, Frisk stumbled past the flower and sat down by the cavern wall.
“Oh god,” she muttered.
She wiped tears and snot off her face with the back of her bruised hand as she kept sobbing.
“I wanna go home,” Frisk said to herself.
But in the deep, dark recesses of the earth, nobody heard and nobody came...
An Undertale story
Book 1: The Royal Hunt