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Shut Up and Kiss Me

Chapter Text

Spike groaned with disgust. His shower was malfunctioning and was leaking suspicious yellow liquids.

"JET" He called.

Jet Black, his trusty sidekick and beloved best friend, entered the establishment.

"Check out the shower, it's malfunctioning and leaking suspicious yellow liquids."

Jet Black said "Hmm" quietly. "Hmm, thats true."

Jet Black left the establishment. Spike Spiegel wondered why he even told him about his predicament. Jet's disregard for Spike's internal emotional turmoil didn't help Spike feel any less lonely than he was already feeling. Spike felt cold and isolated. If only there was someone to fill this void?

Butt-ass naked, Spike walked out of the bathroom, lay down on his bed in fetal position and cried.

Then, suddenly, Spike was hit with a glorious idea. What if he were to employ a plumber? A plumber could not only stop the shower from malfunctioning and leaking suspicious yellow liquids, but could even possibly provide a sense of comfort in this trying time. He could be someone to help Spike feel a little less lonely.

Spike googled "plumber" on his iPhone 4. About 805,000,000 results appeared in 0.45 seconds. "Tch", Spike muttered. I don't know what I expected. Spike decided to refine his google search by typing "plumber from italy" (which where he currently was, on holiday with his man friend Jet Black).

Then, he saw it. The first result of his search. The most beautiful man he had ever seen. 

His name was Mario.

With frenzied speed, Spike dialled the plumber's number. Moving past his initial slight disappointment that he was talking to his secretary instead of the man himself, Spike wasted no time, and insisted Mario come fix his shower immediately. 

Now all he could do is wait.