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i’d rather die than tell him i love him.

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falling in love can be extremely confusing. especially when the person you are falling in love with is a boy who pushes away absolutely everyone and constantly screams at everyone including you. so when kirishima eijirou found that he was falling for bakugou katsuki, someone else had to actually tell him for him to believe it. 

 

the day had started out normal, in fact the whole day up until It happened had been perfectly routine and for a moment kirishima was wondered if the day was just too perfect. this was answered of course when he got paired up with aoyama for their english project.

 

 the project itself was pretty simple and even someone as less intelligent as kirishima could figure out how to do. present mic had stated he just didn’t want to grade 20 different projects for one class. so he paired them up in a random order and kirishima had ended up with aoyama. their added intelligence was still very low so kirishima was a bit disappointed by that, however he was more upset that he didn’t get paired of with any of his friends. especially bakugou, since it would allow him to spend more time with the boy without creeping him out. 

 

lately, kirishima had found that he longed to be around bakugou a lot more, and whenever the boy was around he felt a bit happier and was more conscious of what he looked like and what he was wearing. it had been confusing him for a while since these were normally signs of having a crush on someone but that word just didn’t seem to fit how he felt about bakugou. he still had absolutely no idea how he truly felt about bakugou, as well as whether or not he actually even liked dudes. anyway, the point was, kirishima really wanted to figure that whole situation out, and the project would’ve been the perfect way for him to do so. yet, bakugou ended up being paired up with kaminari, which for some reason upset kirishima in a way he couldn’t describe. 

 

so when everyone was settled next to their partners, kirishima found himself staring over at his friends and tuning out what aoyama was currently saying to him. a hand on his arm startled him, he turned to his partner with a confused look on his face. 

 

aoyama was simply smiling as began to speak, “excusez-moi, mon amie, but you seem to be a little distracted there, you enjoy my company, no?”. 

kirishima let out a slight laugh as he finally deciphered what aoyama was saying to him, “oh yea of course dude, i guess i’m just a little upset that i didn’t get paired up with bakugou”. 

aoyama’s smile turned into a smirk as he looked between kirishima and bakugou, “ahhh-“ he started, looking back to kirishima, “i see, you’re scared that he will make a move on your man!” the frenchie said, his hand pointing up towards the sky. 

 

kirishima raised his eyebrows, “wait-“ he said, pulling aoyama’s hand down, “no no no it’s not like that you see, bakugou is just my friend, i don’t care if kaminari makes a move on him”, he ignored how part of his brain told him that was a lie. 

 

aoyama laughed, the laugh sounding more evil than sweet, “je ne suis pas bête, kirishima, even i can see the amour between you two!”. 

 

kirishima frowned, “amour?” he asked, “what the hell does that mean?”. 

 

the french boy rolled his eyes, “it means love of course, you love him, no?” 

 

kirishima’s heart stopped. 

 

love? did he love bakugou? is that what the feeling was? was that why he felt so weird around bakugou, yet so happy at he same time? is that why he felt slightly upset that kaminari got to work with bakugou? 

 

he looked toward aoyama and slowly nodded his head, “y..yea i guess i do. i’d rather die than tell him though, so keep quiet about it okay?” 

 

aoyama nodded and went back to explaining what types of glitter he wanted to use for the project. kirishima didn’t really mind though since he was still staring at bakugou out of the corner of his eye, and it made him kind of happy when he found bakugou was staring right back at him some times. 

 

right after class, kirishima ended up pulling uraraka back to her dorm room. he had ignored the look he got from bakugou when he did so. uraraka was the only person he had trusted to talk to about his odd feelings for bakugou. she was really sweet and kirishima always could rely on her to make him feel better when he talk about absolutely anything. he really could go to his other friends like mina, kaminari, or sero, however they all sucked at keeping secrets and this was too big for them to keep quiet about. 

 

once they were both sat down uraraka grabbed some chips and let kirishima lay down on her bed, she laid in a chair next to the bed like a therapist, she smiled and told him to go ahead. 

 

“i’m going to kill that french bastard”, he started with, knowing she would know exactly who he was talking about. uraraka laughed so hard that she almost choked on a sour cream and onion chip. 

 

“you’re spending way too much time with bakugou if the words kill and bastard are a thing that come out of your mouth”, she tells him, having calmed down a bit, “but what did he do this time?” 

 

“he uhhh... kinda made me realize that’ll these really weird thing i feel around bakugou actually just mean i’m kinda in love with him”, he said, the words love and bakugou seemed odd to put in a sentence together.  

 

uraraka’s eye widened as she clapped her hands together, “okay i mean i’ve kinda known that for a long time because you look at him like he’s a piece of ham but, i’m proud you finally are admitting it to yourself sweetie.” she reached up to pat his hair. she ignored his eye roll and kept taking, “he did the same exact thing to me in our first year. he’s the whole reason i realized that i liked deku”

 

kirishima smiled, “i remember when you tried to keep back those feelings because you felt like they would get in the way of midoriya’s dream to be the number one hero. i’m so glad that you actually ended up telling him though because you too are absolutely adorable together.” uraraka smiled at that statement. 

 

“yea, i’m really glad i finally told him.” her cheeks flushed a bit as she continued and she had a big smile on her face, “he makes me really happy honestly, i think that you should tell bakugou. don’t wait forever like i planned to do because it’ll only hurt you.” she explained. 

 

kirishima shook his head, “no i don’t think i can, you know him, he seriously probably wouldn’t think he would have time for a relationship even if he did like me back because all he cares about is being number one.” kirishima sighed, “besides i don’t even know if i could tell him, how would i even confess to him, ‘hey bakubro, i kinda really want to suck your dick’, doesn’t really sound like a nice confession”. 

 

“kiri, cmon you know he makes exceptions for you. you’re literally the only one you tolerates. besides would you rather repress your feelings forever and hurt yourself, or tell him now and if he reacts badly at least you’ll be able to work to get over it? also, i honestly think you should just flat out say that you’re in love with him, or that you like him. bakugou seems like a simple man who wouldn’t want anything big or mushy, so stay simple and so it in a good moment, kay?” she said, putting a hand on kirishima shoulder. 

 

kirishima smiles widely at her, “okay, i guess. i’ll see you tomorrow raka” he said, sitting up and starting to walk towards the door. 

 

“later kiri!” she called as he left the room and started to head back to his own dorm room, which was right next to bakugou’s. he smiled as he remembered how lucky he was to have a dorm room right next to his best friend/crush. 

 

he stepped out of the elevator and started to walk towards his room. he walked very slowly down the hallway, trying to see if he could hear if bakugou was in his dorm. his question was answered when right as he passed bakugou’s room, he hears the door open and felt a hand grab onto his arm and pull him into the room. he stumbled into the room and ended up falling right onto his ass onto the floor. 

 

he looked up at bakugou, who was looking down at him with a grumpy look on his face and crossed arms. 

 

“what the fuck shitty hair??? we were supposed to spar together after class today. why the hell did ditch me for round face?” he asked. 

 

kirishima opened and closed his mouth, he had totally forgotten that he was supposed to spar with bakugou today, he would suggest doing it now but he had spent longer than he meant to at uraraka’s and it was now past 6 pm which meant that the room they used to spar in was closed. 

 

“sorry bro, i forgot about it. i was asking uraraka to help me with the english project, aoyama wasn’t much help today so i need her to push me in the right direction and tell me how to handle him since she’s worked with him before”, he lied, god it hurt to lie to bakugou. 

 

bakugou rolled his eyes, “you could’ve asked me about the damn project shitty hair, i’m surprised you don’t understand it, even dunce face knew what we were supposed to be doing. also it’s sucks that you have to work with the french bastard, if i was allowed to choose, i would’ve chosen you. pikachu is trying to convince me to do the whole project”. 

 

kirishima smiled, bakugou wanted to work with him, yes that was all he had taken from that whole speech, “i kinda understood it i just wanted to make sure i was doing it right, also i didn’t want to bother you or anything, i was already planning on having you help me with math homework tonight and i didn’t want to stay too long so i don’t bother you”. 

 

bakugou huffed, “just spend the night hair-for-brains we both already know it’s going to fall a while for you to both understand and do all of your homework” said the blonde, he reached down towards kirishima to help him up. 

 

kirishima accepted the hand and pulled himself up, quickly accepting the offer and thanking bakugou. 

 

after all kirishima’s homework had been finished. bakugou laid back on the bed, he had already changed into his sleep wear which just consisted of sleeping pants and the hoodie that kirishima had been wearing, kirishima had given it to him while he was doing homework because bakugou kept complained about being cold and when he told bakugou to just put on a sweatshirt the blonde told him that he didn’t have any, so being the nice guy he was, he let bakugou use his. 

 

kirishima got on the side that was closest to the wall because he had learned that bakugou likes to be on the side that doesn’t have the wall, simply because he would feel trapped, due to past sleepovers. the small bed wasn’t actually big enough for both teens so in order to fit comfortably bakugou had to swing one arm and one leg over kirishima. on some days kirishima would get lucky and when we woke up in the morning he would find the blonde had moved his head to kirishima’s chest sometimes during the middle of the night. 

 

as the two lay there, peaceful and quiet uraraka’s words played back in his head. “i honestly think you should just flat out say that you’re in love with him, or that you like him. bakugou seems like a simple man who wouldn’t want anything big or mushy, so stay simple and so it in a good moment, kay?”. 

 

kirishima sighed, was this a good moment? could he do it? worst things worst, bakugou would just tell him to leave. now over never, kirishima told himself. 

 

“hey bakubro?” kirishima chirped our his heart beat speeding up. 

 

“go the fuck to sleep shitty hair”, mumbled bakugou. 

 

kirishima sighed, he would just tell him some other time. some other good moment. 

 

yet, some part of kirishima didn’t want to tell bakugou. 

 

some part of him would rather die then him know.