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that's not my fault, don't quote me at me, i like you less than i like mini pancakes so just remember that, and other love songs for friends

Chapter Text

Lev the Ace has created a new group chat
Lev the Ace has changed the name of the chat to 3RD GYM
Lev the Ace has added Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji, Hinata Shouyou, Tsukishima Kei to 3RD GYM

Tsukishima Kei said: Why? Why are you including me in this nonsense?
Lev the Ace said: BECAUSE YOU’RE PART OF THE 3RD GYM OF COURSE
Tsukishima Kei said: Please lower the volume. No capslock at 4 am.
Tsukishima Kei said: Why are you creating group chats at 4am anyway?
Lev the Ace said: sorry.
Lev the Ace said: I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go ahead and make the chat and add everyone!
Tsukishima Kei said: Great. You did it. Now go to sleep.
Lev the Ace said: Okay. But why are you up at 4am?
Tsukishima Kei said: None of your business.

Tsukishima Kei has left the chat

Kuroo Tetsurou has changed their name to Cat Captain
Cat Captain has changed Bokuto Koutarou’s name to Owl Man
Cat Captain has changed Akaashi Keiji’s name to Owlet
Cat Captain has changed Hinata Shouyou’s name to Baby Crow
Cat Captain has added Tsukishima Kei to 3RD GYM
Cat Captain has changed Tsukishima Kei’s name to Tsukki

Tsukki said: No.

Tsukki has left the chat

Cat Captain said: -_-

Cat Captain has added Tsukishima Kei to 3RD GYM

Tsukishima Kei has left the chat

Cat Captain has added Tsukishima Kei to 3RD GYM

Tsukishima Kei said: Please stop.
Cat Captain said: If you keep leaving I will keep adding you back.
Cat Captain said: Just stay Tsukki.
Tsukishima Kei said: Stop calling me Tsukki and I’ll consider it.
Cat Captain said: Booooo you’re no fun sometimes you know that?
Cat Captain said: Don’t be an old man.
Cat Captain said: Stay with us.
Owlet said: Tsukishima please don’t leave me here with them.
Tsukishima Kei said: Hello Akaashi.
Tsukishima Kei said: I suppose I can stay for now. Until they get too horrible.
Owlet said: Hello and thank you.
Baby Crow said: Hi everyone!!!

Cat Captain has changed Tsukishima Kei’s name to Salt Lick

Cat Captain said: Is that better Tsukishima?
Salt Lick said: You leaving me alone would be better.
Salt Lick said: But I suppose that will do.
Lev the Ace said: GOOD AFTERNOON EVERYONE!
Lev the Ace said: How is everyone? Where is Bokuto? Is he around today? I had a question for him.
Cat Captain said: Hey Lev.
Baby Crow said: HI LEV!
Owlet said: Hello Lev.
Salt Lick said: We talked about the capslock already.
Lev the Ace said: I know. But it’s not 4am. So SOME capslock is okay right?
Salt Lick said: That actually made sense.
Lev the Ace said: Yeah it happens sometimes XD
Owlet said: Bokuto might not actually be here a lot.
Cat Captain said: Yeah. He actually doesn’t use chats and stuff a lot. Really doesn’t use his phone too much.
Salt Lick said: Pfft. And you call ME and old man?
Cat Captain said: Cause you act like you’re like 500 years old and sigh a lot and say stuff like “kids these days”
Salt Lick said: Are you talking about yourself? Because I’m pretty sure you’re the one who said the “kids these days” thing.
Baby Crow said: I agree with Tsukishima. I think I heard you say that.
Cat Captain said: I can’t believe you’d turn against me Hinata! I’m hurt!
Lev the Ace said: HI HURT I’M DAD!
Salt Lick said: ….
Owlet said: I can’t believe you made me read that with my own two eyes Lev.

Lev the Ace said: I get it now! Thanks Tsukishima!
Salt Lick said: You’re welcome. Now never mention it again.
Lev the Ace said: Okay.
Baby Crow said: TSUKISHIMA WHGIWROFJ
Baby Crow said: I CANT BELIGEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT
Baby Crow said: YOU DON’T EVEN HELP ME WITH MY HOMEWORK!!!
Salt Lick said: I was literally in a study group with you for two hours today. Not my fault you didn’t ask me for help.
Baby Crow said: I did??? And you told me that you weren’t going to answer!
Salt Lick said: You didn’t ask me for help. You asked me to do your homework for you.
Baby Crow said: AND THAT WOULD HAVE HELPED ME!
Salt Lick said: At this point I don’t think there is any help for you.
Lev the Ace said: Can’t we just get along?
Baby Crow said: NO
Salt Lick said: No.
Lev the Ace said: Oh. Okay.

Cat Captain said: I have 537 new messages. How the hell do I have 537 missed messages in this chat at 5AM? There were 0 messages when I went to sleep.
Baby Crow said: Oh no it’s 5? Oh man I gotta go. I am gonna be late if I don’t.
Cat Captain said: Akaashi? Explain?
Owlet said: We were talking.
Cat Captain said: FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN MESSAGES? I can barely get you to say three sentences to me in person.
Owlet said: Maybe I don’t like your person.
Cat Captain said: Harsh.

Owl Man said: Question. Are ice cream truck drivers beautiful because they drive an ice cream truck? Or do they drive an ice cream truck because they are beautiful.
Owl Man said: I’m asking for a friend.
Owl Man said: It’s me. I’m the friend.
Cat Captain: Oooh. Good question.
Owlet said: They’re beautiful because they have ice cream.
Lev the Ace said: Ice cream???
Baby Crow said: Aw man now I want ice cream.
Salt Lick said: These children are our future. It’s sad really.
Baby Crow said: You’re sad.
Salt Lick said: For the future yes.
Owlet said: Bokuto?
Owlet said: Did you seriously go get ice cream from an ice cream truck?
Owlet said: Bokuto?
Salt Lick said: Are you honestly surprised?
Owlet said: More like disappointed there is no ice cream truck in my neighborhood.
Owlet said: Nothing good ever happens here.
Owl Man said: I SAW A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL I STARTED CRYING
Owl Man said: HE HAD TRIPLE FUDGE CONES AND HAIR LIKE AN ANGEL

Owl Man said: You guys should have been here today. Someone insulted Akaashi today and he just kept walking like he didn’t even hear it. Truly a hero.
Owlet said: Yeah. Sure.
Baby Crow said: OOOOOOhhhhhhh!!
Owlet said: Okay.
Owlet said: But why is ‘pretty boy’ an insult? Like. Do it. Call me a pretty boy. Call me the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen.
Salt Lick said: You should have said that to them. Just to see the look on their face.
Owlet said: You’re right. I should have. You’re a genius Tsukishima.
Salt Lick said: Thank you. Oh did you finish that series you were telling me about Akaashi?
Salt Lick said: …
Salt Lick said: It’s been ten minutes. Are you still there Akaashi?
Owl Man said: He went to see if that guy is still there. He has a point to make now I think.
Salt Lick said: I aspire to be that level of petty some day.
Owlet said: Good news.
Owlet said: I am both petty and pretty. Bow to your new god boys.
Lev the Ace *bows*
Baby Crow *bows*
Owl Man *bows*
Salt Lick said: … I can’t believe I’m doing this
Salt Lick *bows*
Cat Captain said: I shut off my phone for an hour and this is what I come back to?
Owlet said: Bow to me Kuroo. Bow.
Cat Captain said: sigh
Cat Captain *bows*

Owlet said: I just want to go downstairs and punch him in the throat
Owlet said: Repeatedly
Owlet said: with a knife.
Lev the Ace said: I’d tell you to go for it but I’m pretty sure it’s uh
Lev the Ace said: How do you say… Illegal?
Salt Lick: Do I even want to know who incurred Akaashi’s wrath?
Baby Crow said: dude I didn’t even know it was possible to make Akaashi mad.
Baby Crow said: unless you’re Kuroo
Owlet said: It’s my brother Kaito. He’s being an even bigger asshole than usual.
Owlet said: A giant, gaping asshole.
Salt Lick said: 1) I didn’t know you had a brother. 2) I appreciate you even more than I did before just because of the use of the phrase ‘giant, gaping asshole’ to describe a person. 3) Your brother’s not really that bad is he?
Owlet said: Have you ever met someone who is the human embodiment of a rock in your shoe when you can’t feasibly remove your shoe? Or perhaps the human version of ass burning diarrhea? My brother is worse than both of those combined.
Cat Captain said: Akaashi I’d scold you about setting an example for the youngsters but I know that Kaito is the one person other than me who can piss you off simply by breathing. So. Just don’t commit actual murder kay?
Owlet said: … can I murder him in my mind?
Cat Captain said: *shrugs* Sure why not. It’s not like I’m your mom or anything.
Owlet said: And I thank every deity I can for that.

Baby Crow said: and I just have to say. If we’re ever in a situation where I am the Voice of Reason? We are in a very VERY bad situation.
Salt Lick said: He’s not wrong. Hinata and Reason really don’t belong in the same sentence. Probably not even the same paragraph.
Baby Crow said: Same page though? Maybe?
Salt Lick said: You suggested that you and Tanaka should dress up as monkeys and try to infiltrate the monkey pit at the zoo. While I give you props for actually using ‘infiltrate’ properly… Yeah that’s a pretty hard no on the you and reason on the same page.
Salt Lick said: #sorrynotsorry
Baby Crow said: You just don’t want Tanaka-senpai and I to have any fun.
Salt Lick said: If you have ‘fun’ like that you’ll get arrested and then you can’t play volleyball and I’ll be stuck with his highness on full pouty meltdown mode. So no. No fun for you.
Lev the Ace said: Uh. Question.
Lev the Ace said: How do you two manage to even play on the same team? Like. Yeah.
Salt Lick said: I’m not even sure what he does can be considered playing honestly.
Baby Crow said: THAT’S IT
Salt Lick said: It’s more like loud angry chihuahua noises and the jumping ability of like a grasshopper or something.
Baby Crow said: MEET ME BEHIND THE GYM IN 10 MINUTES TSUKISHIMA
Baby Crow said: I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS
Salt Lick said: Only cause you can’t reach high enough to punch me in the face.
Lev the Ace said: Um….
Lev the Ace said: Guys?
Lev the Ace said: Don’t get expelled.
Lev the Ace said: Or whatever. I mean. I’m not your parents.
Lev the Ace said: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Do what you want.
Lev the Ace said: I am excellent at this whole ‘being the responsible one’ thing.

Chapter Text

Lev the Ace sent an image
Captain Cat said: What the hell???
[image deleted]
Lev the Ace said: SOrry!!!! Wrong conversation!
Captain Cat said: What kind of conversations are you having Lev?
Captain Cat said: Lev?
Captain Cat said: Sometimes I worry about you. All of you.

Owl Man said: Wait wait wait.
Owl Man said: Hang ON
Owl Man said: If a tomato is a fruit
Salt Lick said: Oh boy
Owl Man said: Does that make ketchup a smoothie?
Owl Man said: Does that make a pizza a tart?
Salt Lick said: Anyone else wanna take this one? I answered Lev’s question about eyebrows being facial hair last week.
Salt Lick said: Someone else can have this one.
Cat Captain said: Hey I talked Hinata through crop circles being square.
Owl Man said: Guys I am having a crisis here.
Owlet said: I got this one.
Owlet said: Bokuto.
Owl Man said: Akaashi?
Owlet said: D&D terms.
Owl Man said: Yeah?
Owlet said: Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Owl Man said: So… A tomato based fruit salad would simply be salsa.
Owlet said: You got it.
Owl Man said: Oh okay! Thank you Akaashi!
Salt Lick said: What the hell just happened?
Cat Captain said: This is why Akaashi is the best.
Cat Captain said: Don’t tell Kenma I said that.
Salt Lick said: No seriously. What the hell just happened?
Salt Lick said: How did that work?
Salt Lick said: How did that even answer the question?
Owlet said: You’re all welcome.
Cat Captain said: Petty, pretty, and smart.
Cat Captain said: Frightening.
Owlet said: You’re being nice to me Kuroo. It scares me.

Salt Lick said: So I have a question. Like a real question.
Owlet said: Okay.
Captain Cat said: Question away, young one, and let us wise men guide you.
Owl Man said: What’s up Tsukki?
Salt Lick said: -_- Always with that name.
Salt Lick said: Anyways. So do the growing pains or whatever the hell they are ever stop? Seriously my legs feel like someone is stretching them from the inside and going at them with little angry hammers.
Owlet said: Yikes. I honestly don’t know. Whatever ones I had have never been all that bad. More like slightly overworked muscles than serious pain?
Owl Man said: Stretches. Plenty of stretches before bed.
Captain Cat said: A heating pad. Hot water bottle. Anything that radiates heat like that.
Lev the Ace said: Drugs.
Captain Cat said: LEV!
Lev the Ace said: What? They help. Believe me. I understand Tsukishima’s pain.
Captain Crow said: BUT DRUGS?
Owlet said: Aspirin Kuroo.
Owlet said: I’m sure Lev isn’t going out and doing hard drugs to combat his achy legs.
Lev the Ace said: I might be.
Owl Man said: (・-・)
Owl Man said: Uhm….
Lev the Ace said: BUT I’M NOT OH SHIT DON’T TELL YAKU-SAN ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION PLESE HE’LL MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP I SWEAR IM NOT DOING DRUGS
Salt Lick said: I mean. Drugs would explain some things.
Owlet said: True.
Salt Lick said: So you seriously never had growing pains?
Owlet said: Not really no.
Salt Lick said: Lucky jerk.
Captain Cat said: Lev until tonight I would have said that a drug test is the one test I would be 100% confident you’d pass. Now? I’m not so sure.
Owl Man said: Tetsu man good luck with your wild alley cats.
Captain Cat said: Thank you Kouta.
Owl Man said: Of course.
Baby Crow said: Is it really that bad?
Salt Lick said: Oh look. I wondered when the itty bitty grasshopper would show up.
Baby Crow said: Jump in a lake Tsukishima.
Lev the Ace said: YES IT’S THAT BAD
Salt Lick said: Lev. Capslock.
Lev the Ace said: Oops sorry. But yes it’s that bad. You don’t realize how luck you are Hinata
Baby Crow said: Lucky?
Lev the Ace said: Yeah your legs and arms are short enough you don’t get growing pains like us
Baby Crow said: (」゜ロ゜)」 I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS LEV
Baby Crow said: HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME?
Salt Lick said: Oh I wish I had popcorn right now. Maybe some lemon drops.
Baby Crow said: IT’S BAD ENOUGH THE YARD STICK WITH ARMS SAYS THAT STUFF TO ME ALL THE TIME. BUT YOU???
Lev the Ace said: I’M SORRY HINATA I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.
Salt Lick said: Better than reruns on tv
Owl Man said: Guys calm down.
Owlet said: Oh Bokuto. Don’t you realize that’s not going to work?
Baby Crow said: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW BOKUTO-SAN. LEV AND I ARE NOT FRIENDS RIGHT NOW AND I WILL NOT BE CALM.
Lev the Ace said: I’m just gonna go and maybe drown myself in the toilet or something.
Baby Crow said: GOOD.
Salt Lick said: It’s so strange to see him raging at someone else. Strange yet so, so satisfying.
Owl Man said: Tetsu were we ever this weird?
Captain Cat said: I just asked Kenma and he said that we’re still this weird.
Owl Man said: Speak for yourself. I’m perfectly normal.
Owlet said: I think maybe it’s time for us all to just go to bed.

Baby Crow has changed the name of the chat from 3RD GYM to LEV SUCKS

Baby Crow said: Okay now I can go to bed.
Baby Crow said: Good night!!

__

Lev the Ace said: I don’t like the name of this chat
Lev the Ace said: (๑◕︵◕๑)

Cat Captain sent an image
Cat Captain said: Look at this precious little kitten.
Cat Captain said: Sleeping like a child crashed out from a sugar high.
Cat Captain said: Which he is.
Baby Crow said: Does Kenma know you take pictures of him like this?
Salt Lick said: And send them to other people.
Baby Crow said: It’s adorable but kind of…
Baby Crow said: I dunno
Salt Lick said: Creepy?
Baby Crow said: Uh. Yeah.
Cat Captain said: Kenma and I have been friends since forever and I am not even going to try to explain the nuances of that or the number of bizarre pictures we have of each other.
Salt Lick said: Defensive much?
Baby Crow said: It’s okay Kuroo.
Baby Crow said: We still love and respect you.
Baby Crow said: But it is like 2AM and we should all probably be asleep.

Salt Lick said: This chat is detrimental to my well being.
Salt Lick said: I just spent an hour trying to catch up on all the messages between Hinata and Akaashi
Salt Lick said: It’s midnight and I still have an hour of homework
Salt Lick said: You guys are horrible.
Owlet said: Go to bed Tsukishima. It’s the weekend and you can finish your homework tomorrow. Sleep is important.
Salt Lick said: You sound like my mother.
Owlet said: She is a wise woman then.
Salt Lick said: Yeah okay whatever. Goodnight.
Owlet said: Goodnight.

Owl Man said: Why won’t anyone answer me?
Salt Lick said: Honestly? Because I don’t have anything to say to ‘Tchaikovsky’s pretty hot for a dead composer’
Owl Man said: Well have you seen him?
Owl Man said: That beard?
Owl Man said: That mustache?
Salt Lick said: Okay but if you’re talking beard and mustache…
Salt Lick said: Have you seen Johannes Brahms?
Owl Man said: Oh.
Owl Man said: Okay.
Owl Man said: You have a point.

Lev the Ace said: Hinata? Can we be friends again?
Lev the Ace said: I really am sorry.
Salt Lick said: OF COURSE WE CAN BE FRIENDS AGAIN LEV!
Lev the Ace said: Uhm….
Salt Lick said: Hinata is an idiot and lost his phone somewhere and refused to shut up and leave me alone until I let him check this chat.
Salt Lick said: Please take note that this is my one nice thing I do for him for this month.
Lev the Ace said: Okay?

__

Baby Crow has changed the chat name from LEV SUCKS to 3RD GYM

Lev the Ace said: We really are friends again!
Baby Crow said: Yep. Sorry I get a little hasty sometimes.
Lev the Ace said: It’s okay. I can be that way too.
Captain Cat said: I’m glad you two made up.

Lev the Ace sent an image
Captain Cat said: (☉_☉)
[image deleted]
Lev the Ace said: SORRY!!
Lev the Ace said: Wrong chat!
Lev the Ace said: Wrong person!
Captain Cat said: Who the fuck is the right person?
Lev the Ace said: I am so sorry you had to see that side of me.
Captain Cat said: WHO THE FUCK IS THE RIGHT PERSON LEV????
Salt Lick said: I’m not sure if I’m lucky that I never see the image.
Salt Lick said: Or unlucky because I never get to know just what is making Kuroo so freaked out.
Captain Cat said: I am seriously concerned Tsukishima. Like. I can’t even describe it.

Chapter Text

Lev the Ace said: Kuroo-san I need help.
Salt Lick said: That’s the understatement of the century.
Lev the Ace said: Tsukishima. Did you know I didn’t understand what Yaku-san meant about someone being salty.
Salt Lick said: Okay?
Lev the Ace said: And then I started talking to you. Now I get it.
Baby Crow said: OOOOOOOOH BURN!
Baby Crow said: I LOVE YOU LEV DO IT AGAIN
Lev the Ace said: Okay but I really need to talk to you Kuroo-san. Where are you?????
Lev the Ace said: KUROO-SAN!!!!!!
Lev the Ace said: KUROO-SAN??!?!??!!?
Lev the Ace said: KUROO-SAN

Captain Cat said: 753 messages?? Seven Hundred and Fifty-Three messages. Guys. What the hell?
Captain Cat said: Practice ended like 25 minutes ago Lev. What the hell.
Baby Crow said: Okay but only seven or eight of those messages are me and Tsukishima. The other 740some are all Lev.
Captain Cat said: Right. Ok. Lev. I am here now. What the hell is going on?
Captain Cat said: I would think it was a serious emergency except you just sent variations of my name for 25 minutes and didn’t just, you know, call me or something.
Lev the Ace said: I kind of forgot I had your number.
Lev the Ace said: But yeah I need your help. A lot.
Lev the Ace said: Please????
Captain Cat said: Go for it. What’s up?
Lev the Ace said: There’s a girl in my class I really really really like
Lev the Ace said: What do I do? How do I tell her I like her? How do I ask her out for ice cream or something????
Lev the Ace said: HELP!!!!
Captain Cat said: Um.
Captain Cat said: Well this is awkward.
Lev the Ace said: What do you mean?
Lev the Ace said: Why is it awkward?
Lev the Ace said: DO YOU LIKE HER TOO????
Lev the Ace said: Aw I don’t stand a chance if you like her too!
Lev the Ace said: (✖╭╮✖)
Captain Cat said: What? No. You never even said who it was.
Captain Cat said: I can’t like the same girl you like if I don’t even know who you like
Lev the Ace said: I can’t tell you who I like! You’ll steal her away!
Captain Cat said: I’m not going to
Captain Cat said: You know what? Never mind.
Captain Cat said: I’m not sure how I am supposed to help you Lev.
Captain Cat said: I don’t know why everyone seems to think I’m some sort of Casanova
Captain Cat said: I’ve never even had a date.
Captain Cat said: I’ve never even had a girl confess to me.
Baby Crow said: Lev. Just talk to her. You’ll be fine.
Lev the Ace said: Hinata you have no idea how much I can’t do that.
Salt Lick said: Wait. You’ve never had a girl confess to you?
Salt Lick said: Even I’ve had a girl confess to me.
Lev the Ace said: Can we talk about me right now thanks
Lev the Ace said: Hinata I don’t know how to talk to her. I get all dumb and sweaty when I’m in the same room as her. I can’t talk to her.
Salt Lick said: You’re always kind of dumb and sweaty though.
Lev the Ace said: That was mean
Lev the Ace said: Even if it’s kind of true (´;︵;`)
Baby Crow said: What Tsukishima meant is that you just need to talk to her. If she likes you then even if you make an idiot of yourself she’ll still like you.
Salt Lick said: That’s not what I meant at all.
Baby Crow said: Shut up Tsukishima.
Lev the Ace said: But what if she thinks I’m just an idiot?
Lev the Ace said: What then?
Baby Crow said: Then she doesn’t deserve getting to know you and it will hurt a lot but you will make it through it.
Baby Crow said: Go up to her when you see her again. Tell her something you like about her. Then say “Do you want to go get ice cream with me after practice tonight?” and there you go. You have a date. And if she says no tell her okay and walk away.
Salt Lick said: That’s actually really good advice.
Salt Lick said: How is that good advice? It’s not like you have a girlfriend or anything.
Baby Crow said: Um. Well. Kinda?
Cat Captain said: WHAT??? MY BABY CROW HAS A GIRLFRIEND? WHY DIDN’T I KNOW? DOES DAICHI KNOW???? DID HE NOT TELL ME?
Salt Lick said: What do you mean by kinda?
Baby Crow said: *shrugs* She’s kinda my girlfriend? I dunno if we broke up for sure or not?
Cat Captain said: How do you not know for sure?
Cat Captain said: I feel like that might be an important part of dating?
Salt Lick said: Did she get tired of competing with your unnatural love for volleyballs and she stopped talking to you?
Baby Crow said: Nah her mom got a really awesome job in the US and they moved there a few months ago before school started here. We don’t get to talk much because of the time difference and stuff.
Baby Crow said: And my love of volleyball has nothing to do with the balls Tsukishima. I’m not you.
Cat Captain said: Wait what?
Salt Lick said: fuck you hinata

Salt Lick has left the chat

Baby Crow said: shit
Baby Crow said: Gotta go. Good luck with the girl Lev!
Lev the Ace said: What just happened?
Cat Captain said: Are you seriously asking? Or just being ironically stunned?
Lev the Ace said: Both?

Owlet said: It’s been three days. You suppose it’s safe to try adding him back?
Cat Captain said: I could try. But I don’t want to push him.
Cat Captain said: Have you talked to him at all?
Owlet said: I tried. But he just said he wanted to be left alone. He hasn’t logged on in since. Or if he has he’s staying invisible.
Cat Captain said: Do you think he’s worried we’ll be judgey? Or just mad that Hinata tossed it out like that.
Owlet said: With Tsukishima it’s hard to tell. He’s clearly a fairly private person. But he also seems like he wants us to respect him. So maybe a little of both.
Cat Captain said: A couple more days and then I’ll drop Daichi a line and see if Tsukishima’s okay. I’ll even let him think it’s my fault if he needs to.
Owlet said: So selfless of you.
Cat Captain said: I know. I’m just amazing like that.
Lev the Ace said: She said yes!!!! I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!
Cat Captain said: Is that why you were more ditzy than usual in practice today?
Owlet said: Kuroo. Rude.
Owlet said: Congratulations Lev. I hope you two have fun.
Cat Captain said: It’s an important question Akaashi. I need to know why my players are being dumb dumbs okay?
Cat Captain said: And congrats Lev. I knew you would be fine.
Cat Captain said: Just don’t let it distract you too much or Yaku will kick your butt.
Lev the Ace said: OKAY! I’m kind of nervous. Is that normal?
Cat Captain said: Probably.
Owlet said: Yes it is.
Lev the Ace said: Okay good. Oh Alisa’s home! I gotta go tell her!
Owlet said: So a couple more days?
Cat Captain said: Yeah.
Owlet said: Good because Bokuto is getting antsy. He doesn’t talk in the chat much but he reads through it when he gets the chance.
Owlet said: He told me this morning before practice that it’s lonely in the chat without the crows cawing around in it.
Cat Captain said: I know.

Cat Captain has added Tsukishima Kei to 3RD GYM
Cat Captain has changed Tsukishima Kei’s name to Salt Lick

Salt Lick said: Thanks. I think.
Cat Captain said: For adding you back or talking?
Salt Lick said: Whichever you’ll tease me less for.
Cat Captain said: Me? Tease you?
Cat Captain said: Don’t worry about it. You can have a free pass for this one.
Cat Captain said: So you’re welcome.
Cat Captain said: Now go to sleep, Tsukki. It’s like 3AM.
Salt Lick said: Good night Kuroo.

Owl Man said: So like. How well does the whole sticking a phone in rice thing work? Anyone know?
Salt Lick said: Take the battery out right now if you haven’t already.
Salt Lick said: Then let it air dry. Honestly that’s usually the best option. Rice can get mushy if there’s too much water in there or leave dust and stuff on the screen and inside it.
Owl Man said: Really? Just air dry?
Salt Lick said: If you can get any of like the memory cards and SIM cards and stuff out you should do it. CAREFULLY.
Owl Man said: How long do I let it air dry?
Salt Lick said: You can pat it dry a little with a towel but be careful. Then just let it sit for a day or two before you put it back together. And keep it someplace dry. Don’t leave it in the bathroom or kitchen.
Owl Man said: If this works you just saved my life Tsukishima.
Salt Lick said: You can pay me in offerings of cake
Owl Man said: Done. You also have free blocking advice for life.
Salt Lick said: I was pretty sure I already had that. But thank you.

Lev the Ace sent an image
Lev the Ace said: this could be us but you playing
Baby Crow said: That … that is two hands covered in peanut butter and jelly
Baby Crow said: Lev?
Lev the Ace said: Crap wrong number forget I sent that.
[image deleted]
Salt Lick said: no
Salt Lick said: come back
Salt Lick said: let’s talk
Baby Crow said: Tsukishima. Really?
Salt Lick said: You don’t know me. You don’t know my life.
Baby Crow said: I mean. I kinda do?
Salt Lick said: Shush. Let me have my moment.
Lev the Ace said: I am seriously so sorry I don’t know how I keep doing this.
Salt Lick said: It’s okay. It’s just us kids here. The adults are gone. We’re safe.
Baby Crow said: Okay.
Baby Crow said: *chinhands* So what about the pb&j hands appeals to you?
Salt Lick said: Well the simple concept of how well they work together.
Salt Lick said: Two halves of a whole, you know. That’s just so inspiring and touching.
Baby Crow said: Mhmm *nods* Tell me. Do you feel that you are a peanut butter looking for a jelly? Or the other way around?
Salt Lick said: Well. It’s hard to say. I feel really drawn to the smoothness of being a peanut butter. But that sticky mess of jelly is pretty ‘me’ too.
Owlet said: Do I even want to know?
Baby Crow said: ABORT ABORT ABORT

Lev the Ace has logged off.
Baby Crow has logged off.
Salt Lick has logged off.

Owlet said: Yeah I’m not even going to reread what I missed.

Cat Captain said: It’s gonna be so weird being an adult.
Cat Captain said: Like being all graduated and stuff.
Cat Captain said: I still don’t know what I’m going to do.
Salt Lick said: Not to ruin your existential crisis. Or whatever you’re doing.
Salt Lick said: But
Salt Lick sent an image
Salt Lick said: Hinata wasn’t lying about a girlfriend?
Salt Lick said: She just showed up most of the way through practice and he saw her and made his really excited about life noise and ran over and gave her this huge cliche romance movie kiss?
Salt Lick said: I am not sure what to do with this information?
Cat Captain said: Holy Shit.
Cat Captain said: I mean I didn’t really think he was lying. But
Cat Captain said: Damn
Lev the Ace said: She’s pretty
Cat Captain said: Is she taller than him?
Cat Captain said: Am I seeing that right?
Salt Lick said: She’s like Yamaguchi’s height
Lev the Ace said: Wow.
Salt Lick said: I just never expected to meet her I guess?
Owlet said: They’re adorable together.
Owlet said: Bokuto just told me they’re so cute he hates them for it.
Owlet said: I think he approves.
Salt Lick said: Anyway. You can return back to your crisis now if you’d like.
Cat Captain said: Actually I think you derailed that crisis. Thanks.
Salt Lick said: You’re welcome I guess.

Owl Man has changed the chat name from 3RD GYM to STOP MAKING THIS CHAT SO EMBARRASSING TO OPEN IN PUBLIC

Owl Man said: Seriously. I almost wish I didn’t have eyes so I wouldn’t have to read this cursed chat.
Baby Crow said: But if you didn’t have eyes you couldn’t play volleyball.
Owl Man said: I WAS SITTING NEXT TO MY MOTHER WHEN LEV SENT A PICTURE OF SOME WEIRD BDSM LEATHER WEARING CAMEL.
Owl Man said: MY MOTHER THOUGHT I WAS LOOKING AT PORN AND I ALMOST WISH I HAD BEEN BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN LESS AWKWARD.
Cat Captain said: Damn man. That sucks.
Owl Man said: I was grounded for a week.
Cat Captain said: That really sucks.
Cat Captain said: Welp it’s been great chatting with you guys today but I’m going to bed
Baby Crow said: But… it’s noon?
Cat Captain said: So.
Cat Captain said: Time isn’t real.
Cat Captain said: Good night.
Baby Crow said: Uh. Good night?

Cat Captain has logged off.

Baby Crow said: Is he okay?
Owl Man said: Hmmm he will be.
Owl Man said: He just needs a little time.

Cat Captain said: so it’s like 4am and everyone’s asleep and i don’t know who i am or what i want to be or where i want to go with my life.
Cat Captain said: i don’t know anything i am a failure at life
Cat Captain said: i'm supposed to be deciding where i want to go for university and what i want to do with my life and i seriously just can’t. there's so much going on and so much i'm supposed to be thinking about and there’s always more homework and tests and volleyball practices and i can barely figure out what i'm going to do next weekend forget what i'm doing next year.

and i have to pick a captain for next year and i want to pick kenma but i don’t know if it’s just because he’s my best friend or because i think he’s the best choice and then that makes me think about how i'm gonna survive next year without them all because they’re not just my team they’re my family and how the hell am i supposed to go from seeing my family every single day to going who knows how long between visits? i just. i'm not an adult okay? i'm not. i'm really really not. i don’t know what to do with my life and i don’t even know if i really want to go to university but i don’t know what i'd do if i didn’t go and uggggh

everyone seems to expect me to have my whole life figured out all the way down to how many babies i'm gonna have and i haven’t even had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend or an anything but that’s a different panicky rant at 3am thankyouvery much) and how am i supposed to handle any of this? how does anyone handle any of this?

i can’t. i can’t do it guys. i just. can't.
Baby Crow said: Hey. Hey hey hey. You’ll be okay.
Baby Crow said: Because you’re Kuroo and you’re awesome and you can handle whatever life throws at you.
Cat Captain said: first of all i didn’t expect anyone to be awake right now to see this rant i was gonna delete it.
Cat Captain said: second of all… can i really? can i really handle it?
Baby Crow said: You’ll be fine.
Baby Crow sent an image
Baby Crow sent an image
Cat Captain said: uh do you have those saved on your computer or something? or are you just that fast at finding the right one?
Baby Crow said: Yes
Baby Crow said: Just accept the inspirational cat pictures into your life Kuroo
Cat Captain said: aaaanyway shouldn’t you be asleep right now?
Baby Crow said: Maybe I am and I’m just sleeptalking.
Cat Captain said: that… that’s not how it works.
Baby Crow said: How do you know?
Cat Captain said: Pfft I know everything little crow.
Baby Crow said: “i don’t know anything i am a failure at life” -Cat Captain
Cat Captain said: DON’T QUOTE ME AT ME
Cat Captain said: Go to bed Hinata.
Baby Crow sent an image
Baby Crow said: If you’re sure you’re okay?
Baby Crow said: I can stay up and talk more if you need me to.
Cat Captain said: I’ll be okay. Thanks Hinata.
Baby Crow said: I didn’t even get into my good pics.
Cat Captain said: Save em for my next 4am mental breakdown.
Baby Crow said: Okay. Night!
Cat Captain said: Good night.

Owl Man said: Yo Tetsu?
Cat Captain said: Ye?
Owl Man said: How you feeling today?
Cat Captain said: Watching Star Trek with Kenma and stuffing myself with as many chocolates as I can get away with in the next couple hours.
Owl Man said: Okay that sounds cool.
Owl Man said: But.
Owl Man said: “Watching Star Trek” isn’t really an answer to “how you feeling”
Cat Captain said: WHOA
Cat Captain said: whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
Cat Captain said: I think it’s a perfect answer.
Owl Man said: Mhmm. Look I saw you and Hinata deleted a bunch of messages from like 4am. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.
Cat Captain said: ehehehe. hehe. eheh.
Cat Captain said: Yeah I’m ok now. But if you want you can handle the next 4AM existential crisis.
Owl Man said: Bro. It’d be an honor.
Cat Captain said: I love you bro. Thanks for being my bro for life.
Cat Captain said: Much bro. Very friendship.
Owl Man said: Always here for you bro.
Owl Man said: ✿✿✿✿
Owl Man said: Those are broses btw
Owl Man said: For our bromance
Cat Captain said: BRO

Chapter Text

Owlet said: Who wants to come over and hold my brother down while I wash his mouth out with soap.
Owlet said: I’m not even joking.
Owlet said: I may even be convinced to pay you if you accidentally give him a black eye.
Owlet said: Or kick him in the balls.
Salt Lick said: Um. What is it between you and your brother?
Salt Lick said: I mean there are days my brother irritates me but… damn.
Salt Lick said: Your brother can’t be that bad can he?
Owlet said: Akaashi Kaito is a piece of shit who deserves every bad thing that happens to him.
Owlet said: You know how people say ‘I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy’? Yeah I wish all that shit on my brother.
Salt Lick said: Whatever it is can’t you just, I dunno, forgive and make up?
Owlet said: When I am less pissed off I can explain to you how wrong you are Tsukishima.
Cat Captain said: Do you need to borrow Kenma’s headphones again?
Cat Captain said: Cause you know he’ll let you.
Owlet said: I would ask if I could come over and get them. But that would require talking to my parents. And I would rather Not do that thanks.
Cat Captain said: If you want I can head that way after school tomorrow.
Owlet said: I’ll let you know.

Cat Captain said: Alright. It’s 2AM. We’re all pretty sleep deprived. You know what that means.
Salt Lick said: It’s time to go to bed?
Cat Captain said: TRUTH TIME.
Cat Captain said: It’s like truth or dare. Only it’s all truths.
Cat Captain said: So. Who wants to start?
Owl Man said: I’ll go. Show the little ones how to play.
Owl Man said: The thing is we start with a soft truth. And we all give one. Then a hard truth.
Owl Man said: So. Soft truth.
Owl Man said: I hate soy sauce.
Salt Lick said: Seriously?
Owl Man said: Yep.
Salt Lick said: But… Soy sauce?
Baby Crow said: How do you hate soy sauce?
Owl Man said: Dunno. I just don’t like it.
Cat Captain said: I can’t stand the color green.
Baby Crow said: Like any green? Or just certain shades?
Cat Captain said: Most any green. Green is just… *shudders*
Cat Captain said: Not for me.
Salt Lick said: That is a very unusual truth. Yet somehow it’s… fitting?
Owl Man said: That’s my Tetsu. He’s unusual but it works for him. (≧∇≦)
Cat Captain said: Thanks Kouta.
Owl Man said: Anytime bro.
Cat Captain said: I choose…………. HINATA
Baby Crow said: Don’t make fun of me?
Owl Man said: We won’t. None of us will make fun of anything said during TRUTH TIME. Nor will we share it with anyone.
Baby Crow said: •́ – •̀ Tsukishima?
Salt Lick said: Don’t worry. I have plenty of other things to make fun of you about.
Baby Crow said: Okay.
Baby Crow said: I’m kind of scared of English vocabulary. Like I don’t understand it all and I may have had a nightmare or two about it.
Lev the Ace said: Honestly? Same.
Owlet said: You know. I’ve talked about this with people who speak English as their first language. And honestly? It’s a fucked up mess of a language.
Baby Crow said: No wise cracks from Tsukishima?
Salt Lick said: Nah. I agree it’s a messed up language. The whole having nightmares about it is a little odd. But whatever.
Baby Crow said: Okay. Lev? Your truth?
Lev the Ace said: Okay so. I’m not sure what to say.
Lev the Ace said: Just any random truth about me?
Cat Captain said: Technically yeah. But try to pick something that all of us don’t know yet. Something you haven’t shared during practice or camp or just random convos.
Cat Captain said: That’s the real fun and challenge of it. Especially when you do it as long as Kouta and I have been doing it!
Lev the Ace said: K. Well…
Lev the Ace said: Huh.
Salt Lick said: And here I thought it was almost as impossible to get you to stop talking about yourself as it is to get Hinata to shut up about volleyball.
Baby Crow sent an image
Salt Lick said: what the hell?
Salt Lick said: Do you just have random memes saved?
Baby Crow said: You’ll never know for sure. ( ̄へ ̄)
Lev the Ace said: I’m scared of heights.
Cat Captain said: O.O
Owl Man said: Um. Wow.
Owlet said: That’s an interesting truth.
Salt Lick said: Lev. You are making it very hard to follow the rules.
Lev the Ace said: i know its dumb
Lev the Ace said: i know i'm dumb
Salt Lick said: I didn’t say it was dumb. I just.
Salt Lick said: So many places I could have gone with that truth.
Lev the Ace said: like i said. dumb.
Cat Captain said: Lev…
Salt Lick said: No.
Salt Lick said: It’s not dumb. My brother is actually afraid of heights too.
Lev the Ace said: really?
Salt Lick said: Really.
Lev the Ace said: Okay. Your turn Tsukishima.
Salt Lick said: I hate pop music.
Salt Lick said: And my brother loves it.
Salt Lick said: And he steals my phone and ipod a lot.
Salt Lick said: You all can do the math there.
Salt Lick said: Even you Hinata.
Owlet said: My brother is a raging douchelord asshole. But your brother’s kind of a dick.
Baby Crow said: Well. You’ve met Tsukishima. Are you really surprised.
Salt Lick said: Damn. Who taught Hinata how to back talk like that?
Cat Captain said: Don’t look at me.
Owl Man said: KUROO DON’T CORRUPT MY TINY CROW CHILD
Cat Captain said: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING
Lev the Ace said: No capslock. It makes Tsukishima grouchy.
Salt Lick said: Hey!
Lev the Ace said: Well it does.
Owlet said: Hmm.
Owlet said: Guess it’s my turn.
Owlet said: Well I’m afraid of sharks.
Cat Captain said: Eugh. Sharks are creepy.
Owlet said: They’re more than creepy. All those teeth? That’s just not right.
Owlet said: That’s not right at all.
Owl Man said: Okay.
Owl Man said: Now the serious stuff.
Owl Man said: HARD TRUTH TIME FRIENDS
Owl Man said: Same order. I start!
Owl Man said: I realize that some people don’t like me. And I have also come to realize that I highly don’t give a fuck.
Cat Captain said: Damn Kouta. That’s a hell of a good way to live.
Owl Man said: Thank you. It’s taken me a little while to be able to get here and accept it. And it has lost me some people I thought were friends. And some days I still have trouble remembering it. But here I am!
Baby Crow said: That’s awesome Bokuto!
Owlet said: That’s not an easy thing to accept for a lot of people.
Lev the Ace said: Yeah. I mean I like people liking me. But I suppose it would be good to be able to accept that sometimes they just don’t.
Owlet said: You can be a bit much to handle sometimes Lev. But that’s okay.
Cat Captain said: Me next. So.
Cat Captain said: Here goes.
Cat Captain said: I live in a panicked state that’s somewhere solidly between ‘don’t be so hard on yourself’ and ‘success is my only option’ It’s a blast.
Owl Man said: Awwwww Tetsu.
Cat Captain said: So all the deciding my future and university and being captain stuff is extra fun lately.
Owl Man said: Tetsu. Seriously man. You’re an awesome person and you’re going to be awesome as an adult.
Owl Man said: I believe in you.
Cat Captain said: Thanks.
Owlet said: It’s not easy juggling the stuff you do. I have serious respect for the captains of sports teams.
Owlet said: And I’m not just saying that because my own captain is in this chat and could make me do rounds of flying falls.
Salt Lick said: Despite how I come across sometimes I do respect you guys as well. You do a lot of work for your teams and yourselves.
Lev the Ace said: You’re an amazing captain Kuroo! I’ve learned a lot and you’re super super awesome about helping me so much.
Baby Crow said: You know I’m here for you Kuroo.
Baby Crow said: I’m here for any of you. Any time.
Baby Crow said: Honest. I’ll stick my head in a sink of cold water to wake up and talk if you need me.
Cat Captain said: Thanks guys. Seriously. It means a lot.
Baby Crow said: So I’m next?
Owl Man said: Yep. You can take your time if you need to. Same goes for any of you.
Owl Man said: This takes a lot. I know. And if you really don’t want to none of us will make you.
Owl Man said: Just throwing that out there.
Baby Crow said: Nah I got one.
Baby Crow said: My mom’s kinda depressed and she works like a ton so I help take care of Natsu a lot. Like a lot a lot. And so by the time I get Natsu through her stuff from school and fed and in bed and then get my stuff done too it’s usually like 1AM and that’s why I’m up at such weird times and all that.
Baby Crow said: (☞゚∀゚)☞ So yeah. There’s my hard truth.
Baby Crow said: heh
Owlet said: Oh Hinata.
Baby Crow said: ???
Owlet said: I just. I don’t know what to say to that.
Owl Man said: You know we’re here for you too right? As much as you’re here for us we’re here for you.
Owl Man said: If you ever need help with your sister just give me a call. I love kids! I will come over and help you watch her.
Owl Man said: I don’t even care if it takes me a bit to get there.
Baby Crow said: oh
Cat Captain said: Same. I would volunteer Kenma but I get the feeling that if he showed up you wouldn’t get anything productive done. ( ̄ω ̄)
Baby Crow said: I
Baby Crow said: You guys
Lev the Ace said: YOU’RE AN AWESOME BIG BROTHER HINATA!!!! IF YOU NEED HELP WITH BEING AN OLDER SIBLING YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO ALISA!! SHE GIVES GREAT ADVICE!!!!!
Salt Lick said: Lev
Lev the Ace said: I AM NOT SORRY TSUKISHIMA. HINATA NEEDS TO KNOW HOW AMAZING HE IS!
Salt Lick said: Whatever.
Cat Captain said: You have something to say Tsukishima?
Cat Captain said: You usually do.
Salt Lick said: Not really. It does explain a little more about how he has the attention span of a cricket and has so much trouble in class.
Salt Lick said: Other than that nope. No comment.
Cat Captain said: You’re not gonna offer him help?
Salt Lick said: Hinata already knows how to get help from me.
Baby Crow said: Yeah.
Baby Crow said: Anyway. Who’s next?
Lev the Ace said: Me.
Lev the Ace said: So is it strange that it’s easier to think of a hard truth than a soft one. But it’s harder to actually say it?
Owl Man said: Hmmm not really. Not to me anyway. Soft truths are almost more like little facts that people don’t know about you. Hard truths are bigger.
Owl Man said: That’s why I said that if someone really doesn’t want to share they don’t have to.
Lev the Ace said: Makes sense.
Lev the Ace said: I guess. My hard truth is that I actually had a twin brother. Ilya.
Cat Captain said: A twin?
Cat Captain said: Wait.
Cat Captain said: Had?
Lev the Ace said: Yeah. He died when we were really little.
Lev the Ace said: Alisa says that’s part of why I am always so…
Salt Lick said: Hyperactive?
Lev the Ace said: Kind of. She says passionate. But I suppose they can be similar.
Lev the Ace said: She says I have so much passion because I try to live for him too.
Baby Crow said: I’m sorry he’s gone Lev.
Baby Crow said: I bet he’d be just as awesome as you.
Owl Man said: Damn Lev.
Lev the Ace said: Yeah.
Salt Lick said: Even with all the shit he and I have gone through I can’t imagine my brother being gone. So I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose your twin.
Lev the Ace said: Like I said. We were really little. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even remember him.
Owl Man said: You might not remember him exactly. But you do remember him. Even if it’s just in how excited you are for things. That’s a way you remember him without even realizing it.
Lev the Ace said: … that makes a lot of sense.
Lev the Ace said: Thanks everyone. It means a lot.
Cat Captain said: Are we all still okay? Anyone need a minute or need to drop into one on one chats?
Cat Captain said: This is a really heavy chat. Even for 3AM.
Baby Crow said: I’m good.
Owlet said: I’m okay.
Owl Man said: 100% here.
Cat Captain said: Lev? Tsukishima?
Lev the Ace said: I’m still here.
Salt Lick said: I’m good to give my hard truth I suppose.
Salt Lick said: If everyone’s okay with that?
Cat Captain said: Go for it.
Salt Lick said: no one is harder on me than me, and anything that anyone else has criticized me for or called me behind my back i've said to myself. and worse.
Salt Lick said: so anyone who wants to judge me can take that judgment and shove it up their ass
Salt Lick said: because there’s no way they could even begin to scratch the surface.
Baby Crow said: TSUKISHIMA I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND GIVE YOU A HUG.
Salt Lick said: one: you’re like an hour away
Salt Lick said: two: i'm the only one home and i won’t answer the door
Baby Crow said: I will climb in your window.
Salt Lick said: You try that and I will push you right back out it.
Baby Crow said: Eh. Not that frightening a thought.
Owl Man said: Um. Being pushed out the window isn’t that frightening?
Owl Man said: Should we be concerned?
Baby Crow said: No?
Cat Captain said: Is that a question because we should be concerned?
Cat Captain said: Hinata?
Baby Crow said: No! No reason to be concerned. Kuroo do not come over here. It’ll be like breakfast before you show up.
Cat Captain said: How did you
Cat Captain said: Kenma sent you a text didn’t he?
Baby Crow said: Take off your shoes and flop back down on something that isn’t Kenma (^▽^)
Cat Captain said: Ruin all my fun
Cat Captain said: Adventures outside at 3AM are amazing
Cat Captain said: You have no idea
Salt Lick said: I actually agree.
Salt Lick said: And Yamaguchi hates me for dragging him out all the time.
Salt Lick said: But there’s something pretty peaceful and relaxing about it.
Lev the Ace said: Sleep is important guys
Lev the Ace said: What are you all doing up at such late times?
Lev the Ace said: Do you sleep during classes or something?
Owl Man said: I’m with Lev. I don’t know how you guys do this all the time.
Owl Man said: I already know that I am going to be useless tomorrow. Today. Whatever.
Cat Captain said: Years of practice.
Owlet said: Hey. About your truth Tsukishima…
Salt Lick said: Yes?
Owlet said: If you ever need lessons in being pretty or petty or both. Feel free to ask.
Owlet said: I’m good at both apparently.
Salt Lick said: Is that your hard truth? Cause I think we all knew it.
Cat Captain said: Yeah. Pretty, petty, pretty petty, and as sarcastic as freshly fallen snow is white.
Cat Captain said: That’s you.
Owlet said: No. That’s not my hard truth. I just thought I’d offer in case he ever needs a little bit of extra help telling people to shove their opinions up their ass. Really the offer goes for all of you. But Tsukishima is the one who I think would use it the best. Hinata and Lev are too genuinely sweet to begin with. Bokuto is too earnest and honest and kind. And Kuroo has his own brand of ‘fuck you world’ that he’s still growing into. Tsukishima is the right level of salty to really put my brand of petty to good use.
Cat Captain said: I
Cat Captain said: I uh
Cat Captain said: I think you just complimented me. But I am not entirely sure.
Owlet said: Take it as it is Kuroo.
Owlet said: My truth is going to be a little long because of reasons.
Owlet said: So don’t worry if it takes a few minutes to type it all up.
Owl Man said: Take all the time you need. You might just need to call me if I don’t respond cause I fell asleep because I am not a night person \|  ̄ヘ ̄|/
Cat Captain said: I can call you now Kouta if you want.
Owl Man said: Bro do it!
Owlet said: My truth is that I’m currently having this conversation with you from my aunt’s house. (My mother’s sister.) Because my brother is a disgusting bigoted asshole and I finally snapped and punched him. In the middle of his rant about how people who are gay are a disgrace and a plague upon mankind and not even worth the air they breathe. This was right after he finished making a joke about some ‘slutty girl he banged’ and he and his equally douchey friends laughed about some rape joke I am not even going to repeat because it was that disgusting.

And I may have said some things. That involved me explaining as clearly as I could why his ‘ass was safe’ from anyone who was interested in guys (whether they were gay or straight or anything in between) and that might have led to me telling my parents, my brother, and all my brother’s dumb friends there that I am gay. And by telling them I mean I yelled it loud enough to practically be heard outside. And then I punched my brother in the face again when he made a shitty remark.

And then my dad told me to get the hell out of the house.

And my mom said that if I was leaving she was going with me.

And I may have just broken up my parent’s marriage?

Yay truth?
Owlet said: And yeah.
Owlet said: There’s my truth. I guess it’s a few truths.
Owlet said: Apologies for dumping them like that. I just. I guess I had to tell someone
Owlet said: and you guys are here
Owlet said: and we’re doing this game
Cat Captain said: Is murder still frowned upon if it is justifiable?
Owlet said: and
Owlet said: Wait what?
Cat Captain said: Would ‘I’m sorry honor but the guy is a giant shit stain on the world and an asshole to his little brother and he deserved it’ a reasonable plea?
Cat Captain said: Cause I feel like I could do that for you right now.
Owlet said: Kuroo?
Cat Captain said: Yeah. It’s me. I usually don’t experience this much rage at anything. But your brother…. Holy fuck
Owl Man said: Akaashi. Is it the aunt I visited last summer with you?
Owlet said: Yes?
Owl Man said: I’ll be there in twenty minutes.
Owlet said: But you live like 30 minutes away at least.
Owl Man said: Twenty minutes. Twenty-five max.
Salt Lick said: I always assumed you were exaggerating when you talked about wanting to punch him or strangle him or whatever. I didn’t think he could be that bad.
Salt Lick said: I am so sorry that I assumed that.
Salt Lick said: I can’t even imagine how I’d deal with my brother being like that. Damn.
Baby Crow said: BOKUTO GIVE HIM LOTS OF HUGS FROM ME IF HE’LL ACCEPT THEM!
Baby Crow said: SO MANY HUGS YOU PRACTICALLYSMOTHER HIM OKAY????
Salt Lick said: You can borrow my brother if you want Akaashi. We can share. He’s a jerk sometimes but at least he’s, you know, a decent human being.
Baby Crow said: Akaashi the next time I see you I am going to tackle hug you unless you tell me no.
Baby Crow said: Is that okay?
Lev the Ace said: If you want a big sister Alisa is the best! She gives amazing big sister hugs and pats your head and makes you feel like the world sucks less.
Baby Crow said: Akaashi?
Cat Captain said: Just so you know I am only marginally joking about the killing.
Cat Captain said: And that Kenma just wrenched my phone from my hands to see what had me so pissed off.
Cat Captain said: Sorry guys if he read your truths.
Lev the Ace said: Do you need anything Akaashi? Are you and your mom okay there?
Baby Crow said: Crap. Yeah. Do you need anything?
Salt Lick said: Bokuto? Are you there yet?
Owl Man said: akmist
Owl Man said: almost*
Salt Lick said: Akaashi. Are you okay? Can you at least keysmash or something?
Owlet said: yeah sorry im just a little yeah
Owlet said: you guys are just
Owlet said: thank you i just need a little bit

Owlet has logged off.

Cat Captain said: Shit.
Cat Captain said: Kouta let us know what’s happening as soon as you can
Salt Lick said: I seriously feel bad for all the times I thought he was joking about his brother.
Baby Crow said: I didn’t know people were really that bad for real. I thought it was just in movies and stuff
Baby Crow said: I guess I just know the good people? And not the bad?
Cat Captain said: Tsukishima it’s not your fault. I never realized his brother was so bad. I don’t even think Bokuto realized it was that bad. And Hinata you’re probably just that lucky that yeah you haven’t met the really bad people out there. Hopefully you’ll never meet many of them. No one decent deserves that.
Cat Captain said: Lev? You doing okay?
Lev the Ace said: I think so.
Lev the Ace said: But I think I’m going to go to bed as soon as we hear from Bokuto.
Lev the Ace said: But can we maybe
Lev the Ace said: Maybe meet up for lunch today. tomorrow. whatever it is now?
Cat Captain said: Sure. You know where I live. Stop by whenever you want and we’ll decide from there.
Cat Captain said: Tsukishima? Hinata? Are you guys okay? We shared a lot of heavy stuff tonight. Will you be good?
Salt Lick said: I should be okay.
Baby Crow said: I feel like I need a hug. So I think I’m gonna sleep in Natsu’s room tonight. But I think I’m okay.
Owl Man said: Akaashi is okay. He’s just really overwhelmed right now.
Owl Man said: We’re gonna curl up on his aunt’s couch. We’ll talk later.
Cat Captain said: Okay everyone. Off to bed for us all.
Cat Captain said: Call one of us if you need to. I think I can speak for us all tonight when I say none of us will mind.

Chapter Text

Owl Man said: Bless you.
Baby Crow said: ?????
Owl Man said: Akaashi’s aunt’s dog sneezed when I started to type. I meant to say hey and see how you all were doing.
Owl Man said: That was not my finest moment.
Cat Captain said: Good morning everyone. It’s 10 AM and I have already made one (1) bad decision and show no sign of stopping.
Baby Crow said: Are you okay Kuroo?
Baby Crow said: Do I need to call Kenma?
Cat Captain said: It wouldn’t do much good. Kenma just stood there and let me do it.
Cat Captain said: The traitor.
Cat Captain said: And now he is curled on my bed like a traitory traitor all smug and shit.
Cat Captain said: I can’t believe they let me be in charge of people. I am unfit to be a captain.
Lev the Ace sent an image
Lev the Ace said: He got an undercut. I think it looks kinda cool.
Owl Man said: Tetsu. Bro. That looks amazing!!!!
Owl Man said: That’s your bad decision???
Cat Captain said: he didnt talk 2 his mom 1st and thts y hes gna get in trouble
Cat Captain said: and nw hes gna kill Lev for sending the pic
Cat Captain said: my mrnings starting off gr8 Kuro is in trouble and Levs dead
Cat Captain said: o he spotted me
Cat Captain said: bye
Baby Crow said: BYE KENMA
Baby Crow said: DON’T GET KILLED
Baby Crow said: And Kuroo! That looks awesome!!
Baby Crow said: Hey Bokuto?
Owl Man said: What’s up Hinata?
Baby Crow said: How is Akaashi?
Owl Man sent an image
Owl Man said: He’s still passed out. We didn’t fall asleep until about 7.
Baby Crow said: Seven??? How are you awake?
Owl Man said: Akaashi’s aunt makes some super caffeinated coffee. Like espresso level caffeine in a grande sized cup.
Baby Crow said: Wow.
Lev the Ace said: I WANT SOME!
Cat Captain said: You don’t need any Lev.
Baby Crow said: It’s kind of weird to picture you both sitting on a couch next to each other talking in the chat instead of out loud.
Cat Captain said: Believe me. He’s still talking out loud.
Cat Captain said: Pretty sure actual death is one of the only ways to get Lev to shut up.
Lev the Ace said: You’re not very nice sometimes Kuroo.
Lev the Ace said: But I still appreciate and respect you.
Owl Man said: Awwwwwwwwwww
Owl Man said: You’re respectable Tetsu. I’m so proud of you.

 


Owlet said: Fucking biscuit sucking douchecanoe
Owlet said: You will rot in the fiery depths of hell.
Baby Crow said: ???
Baby Crow said: Having a bad day?
Baby Crow said: Do you need to talk?
Owlet said: Today hasn’t been too bad actually.
Owlet said: I just like to swear sometimes.
Owlet said: And doing it here is a lot safer than doing it to the face of the person you actually want to swear at.
Owlet said: Especially when it is an adult.
Baby Crow said: Ah. Okay. That’s fair.
Baby Crow said: That’s actually pretty smart!
Salt Lick said: Now if only you could learn to be that smart too Hinata.
Baby Crow said: TSUKISHIMA!
Baby Crow said: I thought you were dead.
Baby Crow said: Also that wasn’t nice.
Salt Lick said: I am dead. I’m just here to haunt you for being such a dumbass.
Baby Crow said: Did you just use one of Kageyama’s insults?
Baby Crow said: Yamaguchi was right. You’re really sick.
Salt Lick said: Silence.
Salt Lick said: You uneducated peanut.
Owlet said: Everything okay over there?
Salt Lick said: I have the flu.
Salt Lick said: And I just like arguing with Hinata cause it’s funny.
Salt Lick said: And he’s easy.
Salt Lick said: It’s*
Salt Lick said: I have no idea if he’s easy or not.
Owlet said: Okay. I think it might be time to stop talking Tsukishima. Maybe take some medicine?
Salt Lick said: Yamaguchi is bringing me some. He should be here soon.
Owlet said: Good.
Owlet said: Um. I just wanted to thank you both. Well all of you really. But since you’re here right now.
Baby Crow said: For what?
Owlet said: The other morning. You guys just, well, accepted it all. All the stuff I dropped on you and all you guys were concerned about was if I was okay. None of the stuff I said bothered you.
Baby Crow said: That’s not true. The way your brother treated you and the stuff he said bothered us a lot. But we were more worried about you than anything that came out of his dumb mouth.
Owlet said: I
Owlet said: That’s true.
Owlet said: Um.
Salt Lick said: Akaashi. Don’t worry about it. I feel pretty confident in speaking for us all when I say we don’t care what gender you like.
Owlet said: Thank you.
Baby Crow said: TSUKISHIMA ANSWER YOUR DOOR
Baby Crow said: WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU GET BETTER
Salt Lick said: If Yamaguchi did what I think he did I will need a new best friend.
Salt Lick said: Just throwing that out there if you’re interested Akaashi.

Baby Crow has added Yamaguchi Tadashi to STOP MAKING THIS CHAT SO EMBARRASSING TO OPEN IN PUBLIC

Yamaguchi Tadashi sent an image
Yamaguchi Tadashi sent an image
Yamaguchi Tadashi sent an image
Yamaguchi Tadashi said: I hope you all enjoy and appreciate this.
Yamaguchi Tadashi said: Pretty sure Tsukki is going to murder me when he feels better.
Yamaguchi Tadashi said: But it was so worth it.


Yamaguchi Tadashi has left the chat

Baby Crow said: Yamaguchi wanted me to add him so he could share these
Baby Crow said: Aren’t they the best?
Cat Captain said: Is that first picture you tackling Tsukishima?
Cat Captain said: And the second one you koala hugging him?
Baby Crow said: Yes. Yes it is.
Baby Crow said: His defenses were down and I attacked.
Baby Crow said: I told him I would hug him
Baby Crow said: AND I DID
Lev the Ace said: GOOD JOB HINATA!!!!
Lev the Ace said: He looked like he needed a hug.
Lev the Ace said: Proud of you!
Owlet said: If he does kill you we will remember you fondly at your funeral.
Baby Crow said: Sounds good to me.
Baby Crow said: Yamaguchi says that he’ll die first so I have a chance to run away. But he’s pretty sure Tsukishima likes me too much to actually kill me.
Owlet said: Judging by the way he’s curled around you asleep in the last pic I’d say Yamaguchi is right.
Owlet said: Just be prepared to run when he wakes up in case he’s feeling vicious.

Salt Lick said: how many of you saved those?
Cat Captain said: Me
Owl Man said: ME
Owlet said: I may have saved the second one.
Baby Crow said: ME ME ME
Salt Lick said: You are all dead to me.
Lev the Ace said: Was I supposed to?
Salt Lick said: Except Lev
Lev the Ace said: I can.
Salt Lick said: Never mind. He’s dead to me to.
Salt Lick said: I have a better pic for you all to have.
Owl Man said: Oho?
Cat Captain said: Ohoho?
Salt Lick sent an image

Owl Man has changed the chat name from STOP MAKING THIS CHAT SO EMBARRASSING TO OPEN IN PUBLIC to I TRUSTED YOU ALL AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME

Owl Man said: I TRUSTED you TSUKISHIMA
Salt Lick said: That is not my fault.
Owl Man said: TSUKISHIMA KEI
Owl Man said: I CAN’T EVEN WITH YOU
Owl Man said: GO TO YOUR ROOM YOUNG MAN
Salt Lick said: I’m in my room. I’m still sick.
Lev the Ace said: Are those….
Baby Crow said: (ᗒᗣᗕ)
Baby Crow said: I can’t believe you actually did that Tsukishima
Salt Lick said: You are literally sitting two feet from me.
Salt Lick said: You watched me take the picture.
Baby Crow said: But I didn’t think you’d actually send it.
Owlet said: Wait. Hinata is with you?
Cat Captain said: …
Cat Captain said: Is that your elbow?
Cat Captain said: Did you just send us a pic of your elbows pushed together to look like boobs?
Salt Lick said: And if I did?
Cat Captain said: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU TSUKKI
Cat Captain said: You are acting like a teenager and not an old man.
Salt Lick said: I blame the medicine.
Salt Lick said: I am really an old man. The meds are just making me loopy.

Owl Man said: I don’t care who has beaten who, which team won what game.
Owl Man said: Guys. Honestly? We’re the dream team.
Owl Man said: Let’s take over the world.
Owlet said: You mean take on?
Owl Man said: Nope. We’re taking it over when Tetsu and I graduate. You guys can catch up in a few years and set our master plans in motion.
Owl Man said: Lev and Hinata’s girlfriends can come with too as long as they want to take over the world.
Lev the Ace said: Oh she would definitely be up for taking over the world.
Lev the Ace said: She’s awesome.
Baby Crow said: Uh I don’t have a girlfriend?
Lev the Ace said: Oh no. (。•́︿•̀。)
Baby Crow said: It’s okay.
Baby Crow said: She was only back for a few weeks and we talked and stuff.
Owl Man said: And?
Owl Man said: What happened?
Owl Man said: Hinata?
Baby Crow said: Oh sorry. I had a text.
Baby Crow said: And we’re just high schoolers and it’s not really fair to either of us.
Lev the Ace said: Not fair?
Lev the Ace said: Hinata?
Owl Man said: You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.
Baby Crow said: No sorry. Answering a text again.
Baby Crow said: It’s not fair for us to try to be in a relationship cause we barely talked last time and it would probably be the same this time.
Baby Crow said: So we just kissed a lot and then her family actually flew back out two nights ago.
Baby Crow said: It was like having a friend that I could make out with?
Baby Crow said: I dunno. I’m not that upset about it so that’s probably a sign. Or something?
Owl Man said: Awww well I’m still sorry to hear it.
Owl Man said: You two were adorable together.
Owl Man said: If you need to talk you know we’re here for you.
Baby Crow said: Thanks. I think I’ll be okay.
Baby Crow said: Anyway. We’re taking over the world? That seems like an Akaashi & Tsukishima thing to me.
Owl Man said: Yeah where are our masterminds?
Owl Man said: AKAAAAAAASHI
Owl Man said: AKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHI
Owl Man said: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Owlet said: Okay what? My aunt is making rice balls and I want the first one. What is wrong?
Owl Man said: Oh rice balls? Can I come over?
Owlet said: Why are you yelling my name?
Owl Man said: Oh! You’re gonna help us take over the world right? You and Tsukishima are gonna be our masterminds.
Owlet said: You keep me fed and I’m in.
Cat Captain said: Guys. Kouta and I are gonna graduate soon.
Cat Captain said: What is up with that?
Cat Captain said: ??????
Baby Crow said: You’ll be fine Kuroo.
Baby Crow said: Remember? You’re awesome and can handle anything life throws at you.
Owl Man said: Yeah. You’re awesome Tetsu. We’re awesome. We can handle this!
Cat Captain said: Okay. Yeah.
Cat Captain said: Wait. We’re missing a child.
Cat Captain said: Where’s Tsukishima?
Baby Crow said: He’s got some family thing tonight.
Cat Captain said: Oh okay.
Lev the Ace said: Why do you know that?
Baby Crow said: I do talk to my teammates. We’re all actually a lot closer than we used to be.
Baby Crow said: We’ve been through a lot this year.
Baby Crow said: I’m gonna miss Captain and Suga-san and Asahi-san.
Baby Crow said: 。゚・(>﹏<)・゚。
Cat Captain said: They’ll miss you too.
Cat Captain said: Just text them and message them and let them know you’re thinking of them once they’ve graduated.
Baby Crow said: Thanks Kuroo-san.

Salt Lick said: Hinata. That’s a bad, bad idea.
Salt Lick said: Like
Baby Crow said: Mhmm. Uh huh it is.
Salt Lick said: you already did it didn’t you
Baby Crow said: YUPPERS
Baby Crow sent an image
Salt Lick said: I mean. They look decent. And you’re lucky we don’t have practice for a little while.
Salt Lick said: You realize that they’ll have to come out for practice or be covered really well right?
Baby Crow said: I know how to take care of a piercing Tsukishima. Especially for volleyball.
Salt Lick said: What?
Salt Lick said: You have experience in that do you?
Baby Crow said: Uh yeah.
Salt Lick said: The fuck?
Lev the Ace said: OOOOOOOOH Those look awesome Hinata! Did they hurt?
Baby Crow said: They hurt a little more than my other one. But not too much.
Salt Lick said: Other one.
Baby Crow said: Yep.
Baby Crow said: See Tsukishima. You like to pretend you have me all figured out. But you don’t.
Baby Crow said: (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑
Salt Lick said: I never said that I had you
Salt Lick said: Whatever
Salt Lick said: Has Ennoshita-san seen them yet?
Salt Lick said: Or Yamaguchi?
Baby Crow said: Yamaguchi went with me.
Lev the Ace said: I gotta go guys. They look awesome Hinata. I can’t wait to see them in person some time!
Baby Crow said: Bye Lev!
Salt Lick said: Yeah bye. Seriously. Yamaguchi went with you? Is that why he wouldn’t answer me last night?
Baby Crow said: I dunno. I’m not his keeper.
Baby Crow said: Or his boyfriend.
Salt Lick said: I am not Yamaguchi’s boyfriend.
Baby Crow said: I never said you were.
Salt Lick said: Ugh I don’t even know why I deal with you.

Cat Captain said: I missed 856 messages in this chat.
Cat Captain said: What happened? I assume since I didn’t get any calls it wasn’t too life threatening.
Owlet said: I think it was a lover’s spat.
Owlet said: Between two non lovers?
Owlet said: I dunno I’m tired. My aunt woke me up at 5AM for a run. I have never hated her so much in my life.
Owlet said: She claims it will help when I’m captain next year. I think she just wants to watch me suffer.
Cat Captain said: Oh yeah congratulations on that by the way!
Owlet said: Thank you. It’s not like I don’t want it. It’s just. It’s a lot.
Cat Captain said: Oh it is. But you know you got us to talk to if you need to. And you can always lean on your coach and advisor too.
Cat Captain said: And you’ll have your whole team there too. Remember that. You’re not just leading them. They’re supporting you.
Owlet said: Thanks Kuroo. You’re a decent person you know? Even if you’re also a giant pain in the ass.
Cat Captain said: Awww Akaashi. You’re so sweet when you’re not being a salty little bitch.
Owlet said: Thank you.
Owlet said: So. Did you make your choice for captain yet?
Cat Captain said: I still really want to go with Kenma. But I don’t know if that would be too much for him. But if it’s not him the only other one that’s really good for it would be Yamamoto and he’s just… a lot.
Owlet said: Well. To be fair. Bokuto is a lot too. And he worked out well for us.
Owlet said: A lot depends on what kind of team you envision them to be next year I think. Kenma as captain would have a calmer, more setter oriented team. Focusing on control and plays like that. Yamamoto as captain would be wilder, focusing more on powerful hits and confusing the opponents.
Cat Captain said: Yeah.
Owlet said: You always have Fukunaga.
Cat Captain said: He’s more vice-captain material than captain. He’s amazing at keeping the others on track but he doesn’t like being center of attention, even with the team.
Owlet said: I mean. You could always go to your coach and see about co-captains if you’re really uncertain?
Cat Captain said: That
Cat Captain said: I didn’t think of that.
Cat Captain said: I’ve never seen co-captains. Are there rules against it?
Owlet said: I dunno. Ask your coach and he should be able to tell you. And if there is then you’ll just have to decide what kind of team leader works best for the players you will have left after the third years leave.
Owlet said: And then buy me a meal.
Owlet said: Because you know you want to.
Cat Captain said: Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever.

Salt Lick said: I think I’m gonna quit before next year.
Salt Lick said: It’ll just be better for everyone if I do.
Cat Captain said: Why do you say that?
Salt Lick said: Holy fuck I didn’t think anyone else was on.
Cat Captain said: Well I was gonna have my own crisis at 4AM but you were here first.
Cat Captain said: So spill.
Cat Captain said: Why do you think you should quit? I thought you were really enjoying volleyball again?
Salt Lick said: Doesn’t matter how much I like it if I don’t deserve the spot.
Cat Captain said: ???
Salt Lick said: I mean if I’m only here because Captain feels bad and because I’m tall then I lose half my reasons in a few weeks when Ennoshita-san is the new captain.
Cat Captain said: You don’t think you’re on the team because you’re a good player?
Cat Captain said: Karasuno has other tall people doesn’t it?
Cat Captain said: If it was just about being tall
Salt Lick said: There are tall people yeah but he doesn’t pity them as much as me, the salty grouchy passionless first year who just needs to be show the Magic of Volleyball and Friendship to come around and be a better person
Salt Lick said: I already know I’m an asshole.
Salt Lick said: That’s not gonna change no matter how much they pity me
Salt Lick said: And there’s so much stuff I could do to prepare myself for the future. Not that volleyball is a waste or anything. But if I’m only there out of the Captain’s pity and everyone is just going to hate me anyway then why bother right? It’s so much less stress just to say fuck it and just go focus on my studies.
Salt Lick said: That’s what I’m good at anyway. I mean I’m never gonna be a pro volleyball player anyway. So why bother right?
Salt Lick said: Kuroo?
Salt Lick said: Great.
Salt Lick said: Good job Kei.
Salt Lick said: Scare off the person who encouraged you to talk.
Cat Captain said: Sorry I had to call someone.
Salt Lick said: At four in the morning?
Cat Captain said: Yeah don’t worry about it. You’ll see soon enough.
Salt Lick said: k whatever
Cat Captain said: Okay. So.
Cat Captain said: Just read what I say okay?
Salt Lick said: okay
Cat Captain said: First. I will admit I don’t know Sawamura-san all that well. Not like I know Bokuto or anything. But, as a captain myself, I can guarantee you that he would not let you be on the team out of pity. Not as a regular. Not for the entire year.
Cat Captain said: Second. Even if you were the only tall person on that team, again, you would not be a regular if you didn’t deserve it.
Cat Captain said: Karasuno has enough players that they wouldn’t keep someone on the court if they didn’t deserve to be there.
Cat Captain said: Third. You may not love volleyball, not the way some of the other do, but you do like it. You like playing it. You like being on the team. You like the challenge.
Cat Captain said: Fourth. You are good. You have potential to be absolutely amazing. You are talented and you deserve to be on that court. I haven’t been there personally for all your achievements but in playing with and against you I can see how much you’ve improved since those nights in the 3rd Gym.
Cat Captain said: Fifth. Don’t push Hinata out the window okay? Let the little fluffy sunshine give you a hug and tell you how awesome you are and how much the team needs and appreciates you and then the two of you go the hell to sleep.
Cat Captain said: Sixth. Don’t make any large decisions about your future at 4 in the morning. But if what you really want is to quit, know that you have friends who care about you and support you.
Salt Lick said: Don’t push Hinata out the window? What the hell does that mean?
Salt Lick said: You didn’t.
Baby Crow said: TSUKISHIMA LET ME IN
Baby Crow said: IT’S COLD OUTSIDE AND I FORGOT MY HOODIE
Baby Crow said: PLEEEEEEASE
Salt Lick said: I hate you a little right now Kuroo
Cat Captain said: Get some sleep Tsukishima.
Baby Crow said: GOOD NIGHT KUROO-SAN SLEEP WELL AND TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE OKAY?

Chapter Text

Owl Man has changed the chat name from I TRUSTED YOU ALL AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME to BOKUTO KOUTAROU AND KUROO TETSUROU ARE GRADUATES

Owl Man said: GUYS!!!! TETSU AND I DID IT!!!!
Owl Man said: Not that anyone was concerned about Tetsu.
Owl Man said: He’s the genius.
Cat Captain said: You’re not an idiot Kouta. We all know you’re not.
Cat Captain said: Right?
Owlet said: Oh he knows I think he’s an idiot. He’s not stupid though.
Owl Man said: Akaashi you’re gonna make me cry!
Baby Crow said: CONGRATULATIONS!!! You guys are amazing!
Baby Crow said: I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!
Lev the Ace said: I’M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH!
Lev the Ace said: DON’T LEAVE ME KUROO-SAN
Cat Captain said: I’m not leaving yet Lev. And even when I do leave I’ll be back all the time.
Owl Man said: Akaashi are you going to miss me?
Owlet said: You have to go away before I can miss you Bokuto.
Owl Man said: Ouch.
Owl Man said: But I love you Akaashi.
Owlet said: I know you do Bokuto.
Salt Lick said: Congratulations Bokuto-san.
Salt Lick said: Congratulations Kuroo-san.
Owl Man said: THANKS TSUKKI
Cat Captain said: Thanks Tsukki

Salt Lick has left the chat

Baby Crow has added Tsukishima Kei to BOKUTO KOUTAROU AND KUROO TETSUROU ARE GRADUATES

Tsukishima Kei has left the chat

Baby Crow said: |  ̄ヘ ̄|
Baby Crow said: Give me a couple minutes
Cat Captain said: Is he gonna miss us that much?
Owlet said: You called him Tsukki again.
Cat Captain said: Did he seriously leave because of that? Like. Seriously?
Owl Man said: I mean I guess we did agree not to call him that.
Owl Man said: But I’m sure we’ve slipped up before…
Lev the Ace said: It’s probably both.
Lev the Ace said: Or both together?
Lev the Ace said: Like he’s gonna miss you and the fact that you guys called him Tsukki really made it sink in?
Owl Man said: Oh
Cat Captain said: Ah

Baby Crow has changed the name of the chat from BOKUTO KOUTAROU AND KUROO TETSUROU ARE GRADUATES to 3RD GYM

Baby Crow has added Tsukishima Kei to 3RD GYM

Baby Crow has changed Tsukishima Kei’s name to Salt Lick

Baby Crow said: Tsukishima?
Baby Crow said: Tsukishima.
Baby Crow said: |  ̄ヘ ̄|
Salt Lick said: Oh fine stop giving me the puppy dog face I will smother you with my pillow.
Baby Crow said: DO IT THEN
Salt Lick said: Fine.
Salt Lick said: Sorry I left. It just hit me that you guys actually graduated and are going to be going to university and stuff and so are the third years here and a lot has gone on this year and it was just.
Salt Lick said: Yeah.
Owl Man said: Aww.
Owl Man said: You have this chat and you have our numbers.
Cat Captain said: Yeah. And actually being in university means there’s a better chance for Kouta and I to randomly show up whenever we can wherever. You might look up one day at practice and see us in the stands.
Salt Lick said: That is both reassuring and frightening.
Salt Lick said: You two are good at that.
Cat Captain said: Thanks. It’s a skill.
Lev the Ace said: So are we going to all get together and go out to eat or something? I feel like it’s a thing we should do.
Lev the Ace said: Can we can we can we can we?
Baby Crow said: OOOOOH YEAH CAN WE????
Owlet said: I actually think it’s a good idea. It could be a lot of fun?
Salt Lick said: Why do you encourage them Akaashi?
Owlet said: Because.
Salt Lick said: I guess I can’t argue with that one.
Baby Crow said: Don’t let him fool you. He’s already flipping through the calendar on his phone looking for when he’s free.
Salt Lick said: I. Will. Smother. You. In. Your. Sleep.
Baby Crow said: Good luck with that.
Lev the Ace said: You two really will never get along will you?
Owlet said: I think this is them getting along Lev.
Owl Man said: Okay. So. Tetsu and I already were planning a bigger joint party thing in a couple weeks. You’ve all been invited to that and are coming right?
Lev the Ace said: Yep.
Owlet said: Of course.
Baby Crow said: Wouldn’t miss it!!!!
Salt Lick said: Yes.
Cat Captain said: WELL
Cat Captain said: How about you all just come crash at my place the night before? We can do breakfast and lunch and wander around a bit before the big party.
Baby Crow said: YES!!!! YES YES YES!
Lev the Ace said: That sounds awesome!
Salt Lick said: I suppose that wouldn’t be too terrible to handle.
Owl Man said: Akaashi?
Owlet said: Well Kuroo owes me a meal still.
Cat Captain said: Show up and I’ll buy your food all weekend.
Owl Man said: Oh be careful what you say Tetsu.
Owlet said: I am there.
Owlet said: And I will be sure to bring my appetite with me.
Cat Captain said: I feel like I may have just made a terrible mistake.
Salt Lick said: Akaashi will you make him buy me dessert?
Owlet said: Of course I will Tsukishima.
Salt Lick said: Thank you.

Lev the Ace has changed the name of the chat from 3RD GYM to 3RD GYM 4EVER

Salt Lick said: You are such a dork Lev
Lev the Ace said: I LOVE YOU TOO TSUKISHIMA
Lev the Ace said: AND IT’S NOT 4AM SO I CAN CAPSLOCK ALL I WANT
Lev the Ace said: ( ̄ω ̄)