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The Horny Pony

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Shadowhunters || Malace || Phoe's Tumblr Drabbles – The Horny Pony || Malace || Shadowhunters

Title: Phoe's Tumblr Drabbles – The Horny Pony

Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments

Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters show reserved to Ed Decter, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Warnings: polyamory (m/m/m), fluff

Main Pairing: Magnus/Alec/Jace

Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Herondale, Magnus Bane, Alexander Gideon 'Alec' Lightwood

Summary: Prompt: "We're going downtown." - "There's a strip club downtown." for Malace.

Making romantic plans was somehow not as easy as expected... not with those boyfriends, at least.

Phoe's Tumblr Drabbles

The Horny Pony

December was supposed to be romantic. Or so Alec had heard from Clary and Simon. The two kept doing romantic couple-stuff and talked about it at the Institute. And Alec could see the longing on Jace's face. He knew his parabatai was a secret romantic, even if he himself didn't like to admit it.

"Whe—ere are we going, Alec?", asked Jace, tapping his fingers against the glass.

Magnus pointedly took the blonde's hand and linked their fingers. Through the rear-mirror, Alec could see Jace blush as Magnus kissed his knuckles. Their blonde was fidgety, especially whenever he was bored. It was cute to see Jace easily flustered by gentle, innocent gestures like those though. Alec knew it was what Jace craved in particular.

"We're going downtown", replied Alec.

"There's a strip-club downtown", replied Jace curiously.

"There's more than one strip-club downtown", countered Magnus, running circles over the back of Jace's hand. "You have to be more specific which strip-club."

"I was thinking about the Horny Pony. Why? How many do you know?", asked Jace teasingly.

"Oh, the Horny Pony. Absolutely excellent Downworlder strip-club", agreed Magnus. "Alexander, that's so sweet of you to take us there. Mh... Do you think we can get our blondie here some nice fluffy wings? I'm sure he'd look excellent wrapped around a silver pole."

Alec was very proud that he only nearly drove them off the road at the thought of his parabatai pole-dancing while dressed up as an angel. Honestly, Magnus Bane was going to kill him one day. His mind was... something else, in lack of a better word. The things Magnus had introduced Alec and Jace to were beyond Alec's wildest imagination – and both Shadowhunters thoroughly enjoyed them. The problem however was that both Magnus and Jace tended to deflect with sex and use it to distract from, say, emotions and such things. Whenever there was any form of problem, the two would scream at each other, before one of them ended up pinned to a wall and there was lots and lots of angry sex. Another problem was that Alec enjoyed being dragged into that. Though, to be fair, all three of them had gotten better at talking to each other, at communicating.

"I'm not taking you guys to a strip-club", grunted Alec with a deadpan.

"Aw, man. Don't get our hopes up like that and disappoint us then", pouted Jace. "Right, Mags?"

"Absolutely right, puppy", agreed Magnus, patting Jace's thigh. "Very unfair, Alexander. Don't you want to see our puppy here wrapped around a pole, mh?"

"I-", started Alec, cheeks dark-red as the words got stuck in his throat.

"You kno—ow, I actually can pole-dance", drawled Jace teasingly.

Magnus' hand slipped further and further up Jace's thigh and the blonde happily spread them some. Alec swallowed hard and tried concentrating on the road instead of the rear-mirror.

"Really?", asked Magnus interested, leaning into Jace's personal space. "Tell me more, sweetheart."

"Iz and I were very drunk at the Horny Pony one night and there was a bet that ended with the both of us learning. It was about which one of us could learn it faster", grinned Jace.

"Mh...", purred Magnus, eyes flashing yellow as he used his magic.

Alec deadpanned. "...If we come home and there is a metal pole in the middle of our living room, I am taking your Jace-privileges away, Magnus."

"What? No!", exclaimed both Jace and Magnus at that.

"Whatever. We're here. Sorry to disappoint, but it's not a strip-club", grumbled Alec.

Magnus and Jace exchanged a curious look, both curious to see what exactly their destination was and also why Alec's mood had dropped so much. They exited Luke's car (which they had to return without a scratch or else there would be hell to pay) and both Magnus and Jace gaped. It was an ice-ring, beautifully decorated and illuminated in various colors. It was gorgeous.

"Wait, you took us... ice-skating?", asked Jace softly, biting his lower lip.

"I figured... I wanted to do something romantic with you", grumbled Alec, cheeks warm as he avoided looking at his boyfriends. "But if you two want to go to a strip-club instead..."

He grunted when his parabatai collided with him and kissed him feverishly. As soon as Jace let go of him, Magnus pushed in, wrapping one arm around each of his Shadowhunters as he kissed Alec.

"That is... very romantic and very thoughtful of you, darling", whispered Magnus gently. "You do know we love going on dates with you, right? It's not all about sex, regardless of just how tempting Jace's ass is in those pants."

Against his will, Alec's eyes found their way to Jace's indeed very sexy ass. The blush on Alec's cheeks made both Jace and Magnus laugh at that and kiss his cheeks from either side now.

"Well then, let's go ice-skate", grinned Jace and linked fingers with both his boyfriends.

"Can you two ice-skate?", asked Magnus curiously.

"Of course I can. There's nothing I can't do, Bane", teased Jace with a wink.

"Of course, angel face", chuckled Magnus and shook his head. "Alexander?"

"No", grunted Alec and made a face.

"Wait. Then why did you...?", asked Magnus confused.

The look on Alec's face must have given him away, because Magnus chuckled knowingly before he turned to look at Jace, who looked very excited. Of course did Alec pick something he knew at least one of his boyfriends enjoyed and looked gorgeous while doing. Then again, that wasn't much of a challenge because both of them looked absolutely gorgeous whatever they were doing. Without make-up, unshaven, disheveled and sleepy in bed – absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous, especially when it was both of them cuddled up to each other, groaning and complaining that Alec was such an early bird. How was Alec this in love with those two men...? It was insane and unreal.

"This was a very nice surprise, darling", whispered Magnus gently into Alec's ear ten minutes later as they awkwardly whirled over the ice.

Alec was rather helplessly clinging onto Magnus, not really sure on his feet. "Thanks..."

"And Jace is... very graceful", hummed Magnus contently, watching Jace. "But he's so far away from us." Frowning, Magnus whistled loudly. "Puppy! Heel!"

Jace glared pointedly as he skated over to them. "Bane, cut it out!"

"Good boy", smiled Magnus and patted Jace. "Help me with our tall, awkward one here."

Alec wanted to protest, but then he was holding both his boyfriends hands and they were skating ever so slowly together. He smiled pleased to himself, deciding to just enjoy the moment.

~*~ The End ~*~