The thing about Beyond Birthday that most people didn’t understand was that no, he was not in a rage-induced coma.
Seven months ago, the man who had killed three people before he had doused himself in gasoline with full intention of burning himself to death had decided that enough was enough. L had always been a prick to him, but for some reason, that day, he had been even pricklier, and BB wasn’t going to stand it. No, he was going to sulk and make a scene, and put himself in a fake coma so deep they had to feed him through an IV.
That day. That fucking day, he had the whole thing committed to memory. It was so insulting he wouldn’t forget it for the rest of his life. Fucking L. He should’ve killed him when he’d had the chance-
It had been a Thursday, the second Thursday of the month, which meant he was going to get his monthly visit as usual. The detective kept him on a bit of a routine, as if that would help fix who had once been his most promising backup successor.
BB had been bored out of his mind, playing with his imaginary knife when he had heard the steel double-doors slide open. He’d looked up to see a sturdy old man with gleaming silver hair trot inside, giving Beyond a furtive glance. A smile grew on the serial killer’s lips. “Hey, Whammy!”
The old man was not pleased. “My name is Watari, Beyond.”
“Who says I was talking to you? Just because you’re the first person who’s visited me in thirty days doesn’t mean everything’s about you.” He cackled with laughter. “Unless your name really is Whammy and you’re hiding it?”
Watari’s eyes hooded themselves tiredly. “It is sad to see how low you have fallen.”
“It’s B, Whammy. My name is B, remember? B for Backup?” He mock-mused. “I wonder whose idea it had been to call a young child that. It would have to be some sick bastard looking for little boys to replace his son.”
It was a ritual, a little routine they had fallen into. Whammy didn’t even bother to respond, looking back at the door. “L, please hurry it up. I am quite tired of talking to this boy.”
“But I haven’t! Whammy, I have so much to tell you. Like, the food in here. It tastes like shit. Try it! It’ll be right up your alley!”
The old man turned his back to him, and Beyond ran up to the bars, holding them tightly and grinning out at him, wishing he could fucking break them down and ram the man over the head with them-
The double doors slid shut, and it was a little while before they opened again to reveal a rat’s nest of black hair over white straw of a detective, who stood right in front of the bars.
He had looked even more annoyed than usual, which was strange. L usually didn’t look like anything at all. Had Whammy snitched on him?
If he had, he wouldn’t be the only one who’d fallen, that nasty little man who would soon have a knife sticking out of his chest-
“Hey there, L.” BB relaxed against the bars, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “What’s up? Anything new in the outside world?”
The detective had fidgeted, his fingers lacing and unlacing nervously. BB watched them, feeling his left eye twitch. Stop that stop that stop that-
Surprisingly, most of L’s attention was on the prison guards, not the psychotic inmate who currently felt like biting something.
“Everyone.” He announced suddenly. “I’d like some private time with Beyond Birthday.”
BB was blindsided. He gaped at the detective, all the voices in his head silenced for once. The depth of his shock couldn’t even be expressed in words. L was finally paying attention to him…?
The guards had complied immediately, turning on their heels and marching outside without another word. L himself just sat down where he was in that characteristic squat, nibbling on his thumb and giving BB an enigmatic look.
Obviously, the greatest serial killer in the world (himself, duh) wasn’t going to let him know how uncomfortable it made him feel to have his hero/role model/worst enemy looking at him that way. “Really, L? All that money and you can’t get yourself a whore?”
L didn’t respond to that, still contemplating on and on about that disgusting fucking thought that was keeping his glorious mind away from BB- The murderer drummed his fingers on the floor, feeling less than happy about this arrangement. The older man seemed to be thinking about something else entirely. Why did he have to keep baiting him? BB literally only wanted attention, damn it! Oh, if only he had a knife-
“Beyond.” L said finally. “I have an issue I think you can help me with.”
His eyebrows rose up until they had almost merged with his hairline. “Me?”
L nodded curtly. “Yes, you. Watari is being of no help to me and I believe out of all my successors, you seem the likeliest to have had an intimate affair.”
He stared blankly at him. “Intimate affair?” What on Earth could L classify an intimate affair? In fact, to someone like L it was probably literally the act of having a casual conversation. “You mean like sex?”
“Well…” L rubbed his thumb along his lip, and Beyond was only growing more and more disbelieving. “Romance would be a more appropriate term.”
BB widened his eyes. “Why the fuck are you asking me about romance? Does it have something to do with a case?”
“No, it has to do with my personal life. And, as I said, I’m asking you because you’re the likeliest of my successors to have-”
“I know, I know.” BB rolled his eyes. “Personal life? What’s happening?”
“It’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?” L blinked his huge black eyes at him, the room reflected in them. “I’m in love.”
The serial killer’s mouth dropped open, but L wasn’t done.
“I’m in love, but with my worst enemy. I swore to kill him, but I’m obviously not going to do that. I know myself, I am selfish and childish, I want to keep him all to myself. I thought instead that I should lock him away for all his life, but that doesn’t feel right either. He has so much potential and we make such an amazing team.” He cocked his head. “What do you think I should do, B?”
BB’s cheeks had turned bright red, and to his horror, a stutter was taking over his words. “L…w-what am I supposed to say? I-I…”
“You’re supposed to give me a suggestion on what to do, B.” The detective had said quietly. “I am in quite a dilemma.”
His face had heated up further, as if that was possible. “W-well…maybe you should tell him straight.”
“He might try to kill me, or use the information for his own gains. He’s a murderer, you see. A criminal.”
Oh fucking hell. “I promise he won’t.” He said, clasping his hands together, feeling excitement lift him up into the sky. “I-I swear, L.”
“How can you be so sure?” L asked, chewing on his thumbnail. “He has never proven trustworthy before.”
“Well, because I promise, okay?” He snapped. “I won’t betray you, goddamn it! I love you too!”
There was a solid minute of silence before L lifted his head to look at BB again, but this time, his eyes were apprehensive. BB felt his heart dip down to his stomach and his lunch churned down there.
“Um.” L whispered. “This is awkward.”
“W-why? I-I mean it.” BB said childishly, mimicking L’s squatted position. “I do like you…”
“But I don’t like you.”
It hurt like a white-hot poker going through his heart, but L, as usual, gave no indication he even noticed his pain. “I’d have thought it was obvious I wasn’t talking about you, B. You’re strange, have no real redeeming qualities, and besides, you’re my successor. I only wanted your advice, but I don’t think you’re going to be much use after this.”
The serial killer struggled to close his mouth. “W-well, fuck off. I was only kidding anyway. As if anyone would have a crush on a freak like you.”
L pressed his lips together. “Yes, I suppose it would be challenging. Oh well. I cannot break the law for my own needs, only bend them. Yagami-kun will have to face fire for his crimes after all.” He got up with a sigh. “Well, thank you for the help anyway, Beyond. It was nice catching up with you.”
He thought this meeting was nice?
“You fucking asshole!” BB screamed. “Die! Die! Die!” He flailed through the bars to grab his shirt, his hair, his pale, pale neck, but the detective had legendary reflexes, diving out of the way.
“I am sorry for your misunderstanding, BB. It was not my intention.” He said crisply.
And it won’t be my intention to tear your guts out of your body- “I’ll kill you, L! I’ll destroy you! I’ll break out of here, and my first victim will be your fucking Yagami-kun, believe that!”
To his absolute fury, L’s response to that was a quiet chuckle. “I hope you never try. You have embarrassed yourself enough already.”
If BB could muster up the strength to break out of here and twist the detective’s neck so his head ripped off of his body he would, but, as if he could read the thoughts in the younger man’s head, L waved a goodbye and quickly slumped away out of the hall.
B listened as those sliding doors snicked open and shut. Embarrassment was twisting his throat so he could barely breathe. Bastard. That fucking bastard. He would get back at him. He would make him pay for this! He would…he would make him pay…
From that day to this very moment, Beyond Birthday had sunk into a rage-induced coma.
Seven months later, he heard the double doors slid open. The guards entered, their footsteps loud and confident thumps over the smooth white floor, accompanied by the softer, lighter steps of their captive.
A cellmate, huh? A cellmate for BB, after all this time?
“Finally. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” One of the guards muttered, sounding almost apologetic. “Are the handcuffs hurting you?”
Maybe L was just bored and wanted to see what would happen if the greatest serial killer in the world got some human interaction while in a coma.
“Not at all, Aizawa-san.” A smooth, silky voice responded, not at all perturbed by the intimidating surroundings, the maximum-security prison managed by L himself. Heck, BB himself had been shit-scared back then, keeping his mouth shut in an effort to look smoulderingly cocky rather than frightened. “Thank you very much.”
BB cracked open an eye when the guard banged the door of his cell open, leading the new inmate inside. “These are your quarters. Toilet, sink and bed.” A worried tinge wound its way into his words. “And your cellmate, who has been in a coma for the past seven months so hopefully he won’t be any trouble to you.”
BB said nothing. The guards truly did believe he was out of it. Even L seemed to have given up on him. He had stayed this way for so long it was almost beyond a doubt that he had to be unconscious.
Young, with dark auburn hair and brown eyes, slim as a coat hanger with an aggravatingly self-satisfied smirk on his lips as he flicked his hair out of his eyes with his bound hands. Strange, he looked exceedingly amused for someone who looked some nineteen years old being imprisoned in L’s cells.
He cocked his head, giving BB a sarcastically simpering glance.
Wait. He couldn’t know he was faking it.
“Hello, BB.” A smirk found its way onto his face. “I’m Light Asahi.”