"You can't be serious,"
"But... but this can't be real...."
"You SURE you're not just pulling an elaborate prank?"
"Son, have I ever been a prankster?"
Ok, fair enough, his father had a point
"But... but GREMLINS?"
"Actually, I think they're technically called Mogwai until they turn into the little green nasty things,"
"Really Dad? NOW you choose to break out the 80s horror trivia?"
All of his years of trying to get his dad to embrace his trivia side, and he chooses NOW, when he's presenting the fact that gremlins are apparently real, to actually do it? What kind of irony was that?
Well, there really wasn't much point in trying to dissect this, the proof was in the pudding- literally, there was a gremlin sitting on the kitchen table eating one of his chocolate pudding cups
This could only end in disaster
"How did you even FIND this thing?"
"Well I was looking for a Christmas gift for you wile I was out of town and ... saw one of these things, remembered how much you loved the movie when you were a kid and thought it was just a very realistic puppet or robotic doll, I didn't realize until half-way down the road when it started crying and I couldn't find an off switch that it was actually REAL, and after that I figured... well, I've seen the movie, I can't just release it on society, so I thought I'd bring it home and see if you kids can.... I don't know, do something with it,"
Stiles groaned, leaning back in his chair and scrubbing his hands over his face
"So all my life I've asked you for a dog for Christmas and when you finally do decide to bring me a pet it's the fluffball version of the freaking Anti-Christ?"
The gremlin looked up from it's pudding and made a wimpering, offended sound at that
"Oh come on, you know what you're like!"
The gremlin just frowned then, dipping the spoon into the pudding cup and suddenly flinging a spoonfull of pudding at Stiles' face
"Ok, I'm about to turn you into a pair of slippers," he grumbled, diving for the creature, only for it to scream and jump off of the table, waddle-scurrying off out of the kitchen and only stopping when a confused Derek stepped into the living room, providing a large werewolf sheild to protect it's self from Stiles
"What the hell...? Who brought a gremlin in here and why?" he asked with a frown, bending down immediately to scoop the little creature up and hug it to his chest
"Wait a minute, don't tell me you KNOW that these things actually exist?!"
"Yes, I know, my Aunt Sally's girlfreind's brother had one when he lived in China during his college years, they're apparently pretty tough to take care of at first but you get used to it after a wile, atleast that's what Julie always said, please don't tell me this was your bright idea?"
And the fact that he stared directly at Stiles when he said that was just OFFENSIVE
"Ok first of all, not everything is my fault, and second of all HOW could you know that gremlins actually exist and never say anything about it?! What kind of person knows that gremlins are real and doesn't say anything!?"
"It never came up," Derek shrugged back, patting the little fuzzy creature and rocking it like it was some kind of baby
Stiles wasn't jealous, he was just angry that his boyfreind was CLEARLY being manipulated by a Jim Henson reject
"So what ELSE exists that never came up? Aliens? Bigfoot? The chupacabra!?"
"Yes," Derek replied flatly
Stiles stared at him, a look of sheer disbeleif and irritation on his face as he pursed his lips
"You know Derek, sometimes I just don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth,"
Derek shrugged nonchalantly, carrying the gremlin to the kitchen table and setting it down, much to the deranged squealing protests of the little creature
"You had better make sure she eats enough so she doesn't get hungry after midnight,"
"Or he, or they, whatever pronoun you want to use, mogwai are genderless so it doesn't really matter,"
Stiles heaved a long, loud sigh, closing his eyes and tilting his head back
"My dad is the one who brought her home by the way, just so you know,"
That actually got Derek's attention, his hand half-way in the fridge as he glanced over his shoulder judgmentally at the sheriff, as if asking what went wrong in his head to create this situation
"Hey, I thought you kids would want to know, don't look at me like that," the sheriff snorted back, his hands held up in mock surrender, snickering to himself as he watched Derek come back with a little fruit cup of mandarin oranges
"So now that we have her, what are we going to do with her?" Stiles asked, arms crossed over his chest as Derek sat down at the table and pulled the lid off of the fruit cup
"Keep her? I don't know what to tell you, we can't exactly let her go off in the wild, and if you think for five seconds that I trust anyone we know with one of these creatures, you're crazy,"
Yeah.... Derek did have a point, inevitably everyone they knew would either breed it, change it, or kill it- wich may or may not be intentional on their parts
Scott would probably overfeed it- by accident, to be fair, he was never the best with keeping his eye on the clock, or with ignoring a creature in need (unless that creature was Stiles, who he had apparently built up years of immunity to)
Kira would try, but he doubted she could survive the tantrums gremlins were well known for pitching if they don't get fed after midnight
The little freak of nature probably wouldn't get to stay with Liam for more than a few hours without getting wet, or accidentally killed, and he didn't trust it not to terrorize Mason into a corner
Lydia and Malia................ would probably fry the poor jerkwad on purpose out of sheer rage
Hell, he wouldn't even trust Parrish not to accidentally slip up
The only ones he MIGHT trust would be Melissa- who would probably leave town before ever accepting responsibility for this thing- or Chris Argent- who would, inevitably, shoot it in the night, no sunlight required
Yep, they were stuck alright
Blinking back to awareness, the witch sighed- loudly- and stared down at the little booger with a mix of annoyance and resigned misfortune
He was screwed
That was all there was to it
He was as screwed as a guinea bird in the rain, left to drown it's self for lack of better intellegence
To hell with his life
"I asked what you wanted to name her,"
Well in fairness, he supposed this was a pretty good chance to get atleast SOMETHING out of this terrible situation
"Alright, lil' Harleen Hale is all tucked in for the night, there's a curtain over her crate and the lock is reinforced with magic so no amount of lock picking is going to get her out of that one,"
"I still think naming her after Harley freaking Quinn is tempting fate," Derek sighed, taking a sip of his soda as he slapped a bow on the gift he was wrapping
"Well what do you suggest then Derek? Cinderella? We have a gremlin now, nothing will spare us from being put through hell no matter what we name it,"
"Mogwai- and all I'm saying is that naming anything after the living embodiment of chaos CAN'T be a good idea,"
"GREMLINS are the living embodiment of chaos," Stiles corrected, plopping down on the floor next to him and grabbing a box to start wrapping
"And Harley Quinn their fearless leader," Derek smirked back
Stiles just rolled his eyes, shaking his head slowly an grabbing for a stick of wrapping papper
"Well I was also going for something unisex, wich Harley is, as far as names go, not like I went for Akefia or anything,"
"Again- living embodiment of chaos,"
"And very befitting of a gremlin," Stiles pointed out, taking the scissors from beside his boyfreind and starting to measure out the wrapping papper
"It doesn't matter, you're sure she can't get out of that cage though?" Derek sighed worriedly, rubbing a hand down his face
"Positive, she isn't going anywhere, that thing is magically reinforced, and it's soundproof too so we don't have to worry about listening to her beg,"
"Good, if we can keep her away from food after midnight then the other two rules will be a peice of cake,"
Stiles paused, his fingers on a sheet of Grinch themed wrapping papper, nose wrinkling, as he stared up at his boyfreind
"Will they really?" he asked skeptically
"They will, don't worry," Derek chuckled back, leaning over to nudge him playfully
Yeah..... somehow, Stiles didn't believe that
"I've always wondered, by the way, this ... eating after midnight thing, how far after midnight are we talkin'? Like... two A.M.? Noon? What counts as 'after midnight'?"
"After sunrise, mogwai operate on circadian rythems so it's based on the position of the sun, not the actual hour on the clock, solar midnight also doesn't always line up with clock midnight, but don't worry, I know how to monitor that,"
"Well jeez, I'm glad one of us does," Stiles huffed back
As if these stupid rules weren't hard enough to follow already, they just had to make them even worse....
"Don't worry, it'll be fine," the werewolf promised, leaning over and patting him gently on the back
"Weren't you the one saying you hoped this wasn't my idea?" Stiles pointed out in annoyance
Derek only shrugged, a soft, shy smile on his face
"What can I say? I've gotten attached,"
Ofcourse he had
Stiles only snorted, going back to wrapping the gift he was working on
"Glad to hear that," he grumbled teasingly
He had to admit, the little creature was pretty cute, that was never in denial, he supposed if he could get used to the rules and.... stuff..... then it wouldn't be too hard to get attached to her
"Do you think we should get her a collar? Just in case she gets out and gets lost?"
"Sure Derek, and wile we're at it let's get her a little leather jacket too,"
"Actually that isn't a bad idea,"
Stiles jerked his head up, staring at the other man with a wrinkled nose
He knows within reason that Derek can't be serious......... right?
Unfortunately, he never gets the chance to ask, before he has the chance to say anything, the sound of the doorbell ringing catches his attention
"Huh.... who the hell is at the door this late at night?"
It wasn't a rhetorical question either, Derek should be able to tell who was outside based on their scent
"I don't know.... I don't recognize their scent...."
Well there went that theory
Frowning, Stiles slowly stood up, summoning a few electric sparks to his fingertips and quietly stepping towards the door, prepared to give the person on the other side the shock of their life if needed, and slowly stared out the peephole
It was a ... basket.....
"Well either someone left us a stray kitten or we're about to be bombed," he commented slowly, carefully opening the door and staring down into the basket
There was movement, so decidedly probably not a weapon, and then a strange little purring, cooing noise, and then.....
"What? Stiles what is it? What's wrong?"
Slowly, the witch reached out, snatched the basket, and shut the door, and when he turned with the basket in hand, Derek was finally able to see what was resting inside
One gremlin may have been liveable, but two?
Stiles was 99.9% sure his life was about to come to an end