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Have You Heard of Cablebears?

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It all started from what was, Saito insisted, a perfectly innocent suggestion. Also, everything that happened after that was not his fault.

Ema and Miki had gotten an apartment together after they graduated, an arrangement that all three of them had been happy with. And things had been going well enough. Until one day the three of them were having lunch at a cafe, and Miki got up to use the restroom, and Ema turned to Saito with a frantic look her eye and said, "Saitooo, you have to do something, he's driving me crazy."

Saito put down his chopsticks and stared back at her. "Of course he is. That's what he does. It was your idea to start sleeping with the moron anyway."

"No, I don't mean with the normal stupid stuff! I'm used to that! But," she said, gesturing at him with her cake fork, "he keeps waking me up at night! He'll just wake up in the middle of the night and start yelling about some idea or another he's had. Half of it's in English and I don't understand it at all, but apparently it's very important he tell me about it right away! I haven't been able to sleep through the night in two weeks!"

Saito sighed. "I take it you tried telling him to stop already?"

"Yes! And it didn't work at all, but maybe he'll listen to you."

"Fine," he said, glancing to the side and seeing Miki headed back to the table. "I'll take care of it."

"Take care of what?" Miki asked as he sat down.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."


Saito: Miki

Saito: quit waking Ema up at night you fuckin idiot ☠️

Miki: whaaaat she told u (;°Д°)

Miki: but i hav 2 say it or i wont remeber ( ; ω ; )

Saito: so write it down or something

Saito: get some sticky notes and stick em by the bed

Miki: :O :O :O

Miki: thts a gud idea!!!

Miki: thx saito ur the best (*≧ω≦*)

Miki: other then ema i meen!!! (´ ε ` )♡

Saito: gross


A few days later, Ema woke up to the sound of her alarm and the sight of dim morning light shining through the curtains, and not to the sound of her boyfriend screaming in incomprehensible English. This was progress.

He also wasn't in bed with her, but that probably just meant he'd gotten up early to work on his latest project. She stumbled blearily out of the bedroom and toward the workroom, and sure enough, there he was at the table, humming to himself and cutting...something. It was a weird color and shape and she was not awake enough to ask questions.

Miki actually noticed her standing in the door and immediately perked up. "Ema! Ema I did it, I didn't wake you up!" He grabbed something from the table and walked over to her, waving whatever it was. "See, I wrote my idea down on these, and then this morning I remembered everything I wanted to do!"

Now that he was close enough, she could see that he was waving several yellow post-it notes, which were covered in scribbles, with a few small sketches thrown in. "Oh. That's good." She reached up and patted his head. "Good job, Miki."

He beamed at her and pulled her into a hug. "See, so now I won't have to wake you up anymore! Everything will be fine!"

"Yeah." She hugged him back for a few moments, then gently tried to pull away. He did not budge. "Miki. Miki, I'm very happy, but you have to let go, I just got up and I need to pee like right now."


Ema: SAITO YOU'RE A GENIUS

Ema: He stopped doing it!!

Ema: There are post-its all over the workroom now, but he's not waking me up anymore!!!

Ema: O(≧∇≦)O

Saito: when am I ever NOT a genius


Ema had four peaceful days of wonderful, glorious sleep before things started to go wrong.

Miki had left a few notes for her before, usually just to tell her that he had to go out or something, but that morning she found a whole array of notes waiting for her on the kitchen table when she got up.

ema do u think i shoud use lether or swade 4 this peace??

i was thinkng lether but it mite b to shiny n distract from teh top!

n the top is rlly cool so we want ppl 2 look at it!

hmmm but mayb the shiny part woud b a good accent??

hmmmmmmm ill hav 2 thikn about it more!!!

She sighed, swept all the notes to one side of the table, and went to look in the fridge for something to eat.

...Only to discover that the fridge was also covered in notes.

ema i cant sleep :(

i wanted 2 talk 2 u about sumthing but im not suppsed 2 waik u up :(

im boooooard

oh but i foudn cute cat pix online!!!!

ill show u later ^_^

She groaned loudly and laid her head against the fridge.


"Miki," Ema said in the workroom later, "you know you don't have to write a note for every thought that occurs to you at night, right?"

He looked up from his sewing machine and blinked at her. "But then I won't remember to show you stuff!"

"Yeah, but you can just write 'ask Ema about the leather piece' or 'show Ema cat pictures'. You don't need to write out your whole thought process."

He scratched his chin and thought about this for a moment. "But usually I don't know what I mean until after I say the whole thing. So I had to write down everything before I knew I wanted to show you the cat pictures!"

"You could write it down on a piece of paper first, and then write out the post-it at the end."

"Oh!" He grinned. "That's a good idea, I'll try that next." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Ema~"

"I love you too, you big dork."


Unfortunately, her talk with Miki didn't do much to improve the situation, and few days later she still found herself waking up to an apartment full of post-it notes. She swept a stack of notes off the kitchen table ("Ema y doesnt this banana candy tast like banana??") and into the trash can (which itself had a note stuck to it, with just the word "YEET" written on it in English, and she was not going to ask questions about what the hell that meant).

There was a sheet of paper already in the trash can, half-covered in Miki's handwriting. She pulled it out and peered at it, curious; most of the lines were crossed out, but they were still fairly easy to read.

the moon shines at night
gleeming on youre soft hair
OH MY GOD it has to b 7 sillibles doesnt it this is hard D:

roses are red
violets are blue
wait i thot they were purple

Well, he'd tried. The effort was sweet, she had to admit. Writing wasn't exactly Miki's strong suit, but she certainly wasn't going to complain about him trying to write her poetry.

Plus, it explained the two notes left on the fridge:

EMA R VIOLETS BLUE OR PURPLE

ask saito how 2 right poems


Ema: HELP ME

Saito: now what

Ema: [IMAGE: EMA have u herd of cablebears!!]

Ema: [IMAGE: i found vidios of them on teh internet and their so cute!!]

Ema: [IMAGE: i saw this 1 that had a bunny on its hed!!!!!]

Ema: [IMAGE: what do u think cablebears thnk about?? :O]

Saito: what the fuck is a cablebear

Ema: A capybara. He meant a capybara.

Saito: we srsly need to teach him how to spell

Ema: That's not the point right now!!

Ema: It was okay at first, but now he's just leaving these around the apartment constantly!

Ema: I woke up to a note on my FACE, Saito!

Ema: Because he couldn't find his phone! So he left a note ON MY FACE.

Ema: THE PHONE WAS ON HIS NIGHTSTAND!

Saito: ......you knew he was an idiot

Ema: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Ema: 🔪🔪🔪

Saito: alright alright

Saito: this is just cause he wakes up and cant get back to sleep right

Saito: I have an idea


Ema didn't see what it was Saito said to Miki, but she certainly noticed the distinct lack of new post-its the morning after. She was staring at the front of the fridge in awe, wondering if it was worth it to text Saito and ask what the hell he did, when Miki wandered in from the workroom. "Oh, Ema, you're up!"

"Yeah. So, uh." She thought carefully about how to phrase this, so she wouldn't encourage him the wrong way. "I see there aren't any notes today."

"Oh, yeah!" He brightened. "Saito got me some sleeping pills, so I didn't wake up at all last night. I slept really well, actually, it was great."

"Oh, really? That's good." Ema wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her cheek against his chest. "No offense, but I think it's probably better if you keep doing that."

"Yeah, I know." He rested his head on top of hers, kissing her hair. "Sorry, I know I've been bothering you a lot lately."

"It's okay. As long as we can work it out eventually." She stood on her tiptoes and leaned up to kiss him once on the lips, lightly. "You'd have to work pretty hard to get rid of me, you know."

He grinned and pulled her back for a longer kiss.


Ema: Thanks Saito.

Ema: Except I hope you remember this whole thing was TOTALLY your idea in the first place.

Saito: you cant blame me for how he decides to interpret shit

Saito: and you were the one begging me for help

Ema: Did I? I don't remember that.

Saito: ☠️☠️☠️

Ema: It was definitely all your idea.

Saito: keep this up and Im gonna start scheduling you for shifts at the butler cafe