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Hold Onto Me

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Lup stares at her new body through the green fluid in the regeneration tank, it's just about done now and then she gets to be whole again. She’ll get to feel again. She’ll be corporeal again.

 

The thought of feeling again overwhelms her. After ten plus years after not having a body and being isolated from everything, she guesses its fine for her to feel this way. 

 

“Lup?” arry asks and pulls her from her thoughts, “Are you ready?” 

 

“I-I think so,” she says nervously and floats over to Barry and rests her forehead against his. “I can’t wait to fucking kiss you and touch you,” Lup says barely above a whisper.

 

Barry nods, tears already prickling at his eyes. “Its done. You can go into it now.”

 

She floats back over to the tank and stars to phase through the glass. She sinks fully into it and- and she breathes again for the first time. 

 

The glass around her breaks and she tumbles to the ground. Lup coughs up the green fluid as she feels soft fabric wrap around her shoulders and the warm, familiar touch of her husband.

 

She opens her eyes and immediately closes them again. It’s too bright, even though the light in the cave is dim. 

 

“Here, have these,” Barry says and puts something on her face, she flinches a little at the contact of cold plastic. “They’re just sunglasses. It’s okay,” he whispers.

 

Lup tries to open her eyes for a second time and the sunglasses help. She looks down at herself and sees she has all the right parts she needs and then back up at Barry.

 

“Man, I forgot how good I look!” she says, her voice scratchy from misuse. She then grins at him, “I’m going to smooch your fucking brains out babe,” Lup then leans in to kiss him.

 

The kiss is sloppy, but it’s so satisfying. Barry pulls her closer, and it’s almost a little too much. So much to process all at once. Her husband’s soft lips against hers, his hands on her waist, the robe wrapped around her shoulders.

 

Once Lup pulls away, she lets out a sob. Maybe she did this too fast. Her senses are overwhelmed by it all. 

 

“Are you okay?” Barry asks and lets her go. He’s crying now too. 

 

She nods, “J-just got a little overwhelmed.”

 

“Okay, that’s fine.” he goes to put his hand on her back but hesitates. “Is it okay if I touch you?” 

 

The newly reformed elf shakes her head no, the thought and the feeling of being touched again, it’s overwhelming but she craves the feeling of his skin against hers. She misses it. She needs it. So Lup just holds out her hand, luckily Barry gets the message and takes it into his.

 

“Do you want to stand?” he asks.

 

The elf nods and watches her husband stand up. He takes her other hand, he flashes a comforting smile at her. 

 

“Put your legs underneath you,” Barry instructs.

 

She does as he says, “try to push up as I pull you. If you fall, I will catch you.” 

 

Lup pushes herself to her feet, but her legs are weak, unable to support her weight. So she’s only on her feet for a second before she falls into Barry’s arms. Why can’t she do anything? Why is she so useless? 

 

Barry lowers her back to the ground and notices the look of defeat on her face. “It's okay, maybe you need to get used to everything again. It might take a while but you will be able to stand and walk again. I promise.” he places a kiss on her forehead. 

 

“Okay,” she says in defeat. 

 

“Do you want to go back home? You can lie down on the bed, it’s soft and comfortable. So much better than the hard floor.”

 

She nods. “I- I don’t know if I want to see Taako right away, I know he’ll want to see me but… I don’t know if I can handle it right now." 

 

“Okay, that’s fine. It’s your decision on when you get to see everyone again.” 

 

Lup nods again and rests her head against his shoulder.

 

Barry takes out his stone of farspeech, “I will call Kravitz so we can get home fast and right to comfort.”

 

She says nothing and just stares at the floor.

 

“O-oh hey Taako. She’s fine yeah. No. sorry, I know. She doesn’t want to see anyone. I know. Yeah. later she will, can you tell Kravitz to get us? To our room yeah. Thank you. Oh and put a bunch of those soft blankets in there too.”

 

Lup scrunches up her nose and suddenly feels bad she doesn’t want to see her own brother right away. “Can you help me put the robe on right?” she asks.

 

Barry nods and helps her put her arms through the armholes and ties the sash of the robe around her waist so she’s not revealing anything when her brother’s boyfriend opens a portal to the cave.

 

A few moments later, there’s a tear in reality and Kravitz steps out. She cringes a little, maybe because its amplified inside the cave or Lup isn’t used to loud noises yet in this new body of hers. 

 

Kravitz has a small smile on his face, “Taako is a little upset that I get to see you before he does, but he understands why.”

 

Barry lifts her into his arms carefully and through the portal. Taako has supplied the two with all the softest things in their house all piled onto the bed. 

 

“Thank you,” Barry says with a smile and puts her down in the blankets.

 

Lup doesn’t even pay attention to the rest of the conversation as Barry sets her down on the bed. It’s soft and warm. A sharp contrast to the cold, hard floor of the cave. 

 

It’s not like the rough velvet interior of the umbrastaff or the material of the robe she is wearing which suddenly feels itchy against her skin.

 

“Are you okay?” Barry asks, she must’ve had an uncomfortable look on her face. “Do you need the robe off?”

 

She nods, “too scratchy,” she mutters.

 

“Okay, but you will have to wear clothes at some point, babe.” 

 

“Noo” She whines as Barry helps her out, “too itchy,” 

 

“Then we’ll find something comfortable for you to wear. I’m sure we have something.” He places a kiss on her forehead.

 

Now that she’s more comfortable, she practically buries herself into the mess of blankets. Effectively wrapping herself in one.

 

Barry chuckles, “are you comfortable now?”

 

She nods and yawns, a feeling of exhaustion washes over her. Getting a new body is tiring.

 

“If you need to sleep you can, I’ll be right here the whole time.” He takes the sunglasses off of her face and sets them onto the nightstand. “I will not leave you if you need me.”

 

Lup smiles softly, “thank you,” She whispers.

 

“No problem, I love you,” He says and runs a hand through her hair.

 

She hums and drifts off into what she hopes to be a dreamless sleep.