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Paranormal Fucktivity

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‘’Any horny ghosts in here?’’ Baekhyun calls out, navigating his phone like a glow stick. ‘’I’m twenty-two, single and ready to-‘’ he burps into his fist, staggering into the doorframe.

Sehun sighs behind him, sour from when his foot got stuck in one of the porch’s holes, ripping a stitch in his new Robin suit.

‘’I’ll try again; why are we here?’’ he asks, not particularly a fan of supernatural devotees.

Baekhyun turns with a gaudy smile, ‘’dude, don’t be like that; I’m just trying to fuck.’’

‘’How did you even find this house? I’ve jogged this road hundreds of times and never crossed a rip-off prop from the set of Scooby Doo.’’

‘’Dunno,’’ Baekhyun tugs his jacket closer, starting to regret dressing up as Monkey D. Luffy and sticking to sandals, shorts and a jacket in this kind of weather, ‘’I mean, first time I saw it was last week when I drove to Arden.’’

Sehun sticks his head in to have a look, ‘’and suddenly it was just there?’’

 ‘’Kinda weird, cause it doesn’t look like anyone’s been here before. Like it’s sacred,’’ Baekhyun lights the hall with the flashlight on his phone, revealing the start of a long Persian carpet covered in dust.

Such a pompous, vacant building in plain sight lead by a forest road that connects to a small backroad. It should’ve been run over by strangers or torn down long ago.

Yet there’s no graffiti, no trash or any signs of vandalism.

For the annual Halloween party on campus, Baekhyun, on one of the student councils, kicked the door down and suggested this mansion to be the residence of the event. Especially Heechul and Yuji were fans of the idea, right until it got shot down by what’s called common sense.

It’s October, the colder degrees catching up, and the house in question isn’t a small property, but a huge neglected mansion left to decay that’d take weeks to clean up. Plus, it’s located outside the city, too far away from everything since people usually want to crash at their own place later or head to pubs and night clubs.

Sure, they could leave it as it is and let its state be the spooky decoration that runs the theme but booking a bus to cover transport and buying heaters would be redundantly expensive. Besides, people wouldn’t be able to parade in their costumes freely due to rain and temperature.

‘’Could use a sweet makeover,’’ Baekhyun’s teeth are clacking, and a cloud of smoke pours from his mouth whenever he talks or breathes.

The alcohol in his veins helps a little, except he might end up like the dudes reported missing on Christmas vacations who get starry-eyed drunk and take a nap in the snow, never to wake up again.

He barely convinced Sehun to leave the party and bike all the way here; the both of them roused, sharing half-hearted horror stories as they went, cracking matching jokes and almost crashing into a tree from the gluttonous darkness of the forest making it hard to follow the road system.

‘’You suck so much,’’ Sehun sounds sober at this point.

‘’I’m not the one wearing spandex sprinkled with some casual moose knuckles,’’ Baekhyun retorts.

‘’Contrary to thought, it keeps me warm, and it makes my ass look edible.’’

‘’I wouldn’t eat your damn ass, even if it was my costume this year; ass-man, the ass-eater, the ass-consumer, destroyer and creator of every voluptuous globe-‘’

‘’Yeah,’’ Sehun sniffs, ‘’I’m going back. I promised Minseok and Tao we’d watch Corpse Bride together.’’

Baekhyun halts. ‘’What? You’re leaving me? Is it ‘cause of what I said? I- but, I would eat your ass, Sehun. I was just playing - y’know me.’’

‘’You’re scared, aren’t you?’’

‘’Scared?’’ he laughs and picks at the doorframe, scratching the paintjob and wooden flakes, ‘’no way, my guy, my man… I,’’ and pauses dramatically, ‘’- am not scared. I don’t feel fear, and, to put it simply… I’m about to shit my pants.’’

Sehun doesn’t bother. ‘’You can join me if you like. I don’t think Minseok would mind, if only you shut up once in a while.’’

Baekhyun snorts at him.

‘’Thought so,’’ Sehun laughs. ‘’I’ll see you later, all right?’’

 ‘’But,’’ Baekhyun clings to him, ‘’this is the last day of October! It’s Halloween. You can’t do it any other day! This is the day!’’

‘’And you could’ve stayed at the dorm and celebrated it with the rest of us. I’m going to, at least.’’

He stops in the middle of a bunch of wet, slippery leaves. ‘’Baekhyunnie...’’ he says, voice soft. ‘’you’ll be back in an hour, right?’’

Baekhyun grins, though it’s weak from the shivering of his teeth. ‘’Look who’s scared now. Don’t worry, I don’t think any serial killers are on the move when it’s cold enough to turn testicles to icicles.’’

‘’Just… take care.’’

‘’I’ll be just fine,’’ Baekhyun smiles reassuringly, ‘’if I’m lucky, I’ll get some baja-blast ghost pussy. Born on a mountain, raised in a cave, truckin’ and fuckin’ is all I crave-‘’

Sehun rolls his eyes, but trots back to pull him in for a hug.

They stay like that until Sehun has to physically maneuver away from Baekhyun’s octopus arms and vice grip.

‘’Still, I don’t like you wandering out here alone,’’ he says and adjusts Baekhyun’s straw-hat.

‘’Sehun,’’ Baekhyun says, sounding sober for a moment. ‘’I promise I’m not going to do anything crazy. I’ll just take a look and head straight back. I’ve got my phone on me, it’s past 80 percent in battery and the signal’s, uh, surprisingly steady out here.’’

Sehun smiles, skewed. ‘’I’ll leave it to you, then.’’

‘’Count on me!’’


Baekhyun watches Sehun’s back and the headlights of his bike retreat quietly into the night.

Eventually, he turns to the mansion, lighting it up and down with his phone, whatever he can reach.

It’s one of those gothic, Victorian houses with custom towers, sharp edges, colored glass panes, a chimney and seriously humongous windows. All intact and ready to be explored, save for its harrowing state.

If Baekhyun doesn’t find anyone in there, he might as well buy the ground and live out his fantasies himself. His first step into the mansion cracks a sigh that runs to the ceiling -

It’s a good thing his straw-hat’s got a rope connected to it so it doesn’t fall to the floor when he jumps a meter in the air from the breeze running through, shutting the door behind him with a loud bang.

‘’Uh,’’ he mumbles, mildly pained, when he pulls the doorknob, but the door won’t open again.

‘’Uh,’’ he repeats, as a hush lull travels along the length of the hallway and a series of candles light themselves one after another, throwing patterns on the walls.

There, by the end of the hall, a shadow moves, and Baekhyun’s back becomes flat against the door; doorknob digging into his back.

‘’Sehun?’’ he calls out. He’s pretty certain he didn’t eat any of Junmyeon’s space brownies. ‘’Are you fucking with me right now? Please tell me this is a jo-’’

Lucky thing he took a piss before biking, because the whisper behind his ear rustles him to the bone and sends him face first fainting to the ground.


‘’Elizabeth Taylor!’’ he wakes with a jab like reappearing from cold lake water.

Around him, the setup from another age stretches out. He’s napping on an antique sofa in front of a lively fireplace where the flames lick upwards as a primary source of light.

There’s a little table with bowls containing nuts and chocolates in front of him and more candlelight. The room is simultaneously warm and somber at the same time, mahogany furniture, closets and fabric spilling matte red colors.

His head’s throbbing, and he realizes he’s not wearing his jacket anymore, just his vest and his shorts - his sandals gone as well.

He’s still got his phone, but there’s no signal for him to call or message anyone, like he’s been moved off the map.

Just to make sure, he pinches his arm, but it’s not a dream. He doesn’t wake up a second time.

This is for real.

‘’Anyone here?’’ he stands up to look around. If the house wanted him dead, it’d probably have killed him on the first doorstep. Unless, of course, it’s sadistic and wishes him a slow and painful one.

It’s annoying how most ghost stories are horror-related, and so that’s the first correlation he makes. If only there’d been more genuine fucking and less fucking around with the victim, then he wouldn’t feel a ball of ice creep into his chest and bile rise in the back of his mouth.

Though it takes him minutes, eventually he inspects the rest of the room. It’s all decorative art to the point he doesn’t dare touch it with his grimy, undeserving hands.

Reaching the gigantic mirror in the middle, he nearly loses connection to his brain again when a cloud expands on the image, like someone’s breathing on it, and the single word ‘age’ spells out.

What’s this? The mating call of a barely post-pubescent teenager in an Omegle chatroom?

Regardless, Baekhyun leans in and breathes on the mirror to answer.

‘Name’ spells out afterwards.

‘Baek’, Baekhyun replies.

An arrow’s drawn on the mirror, pointing to a picture on one of the tables. He picks it up to look at it: a family of four. Two young men in the back and what seems to be a father and a mother in the front, dressed up neatly.

‘Second’ the mirror spells, and Baekhyun looks at the second son, the one furthest to the right.

It’s a handsome guy in his mid-twenties with big and serious round eyes, full lips and a gentle smile on his face. He looks at ease, but something tells Baekhyun he isn’t.

‘Younger brother’ the mirror says -

‘Killed me.’

A shiver runs down Baekhyun’s back. ‘’Why?’’ he asks and forgets to spell it on the mirror.

Yet the mirror replies - ‘heir.’

‘’He wanted your parents´ fortune?’’


‘’How’d he kill you?’’


‘’The butler killed you?’’


Good thing Baekhyun didn’t stuff his face with the nuts.

‘’What do you want?’’ he asks.

It takes a while before the mirror answers.

When it does, it says -


Baekhyun would’ve laughed, but he blinks at the words and forgets any witty comments from the nudge in his gut, a spark of a sort, and since when did his taste veer into the paranormal and undead corner?

Must be the ongoing buzz still left in his channels.

‘’In all seriousness, are you horny or nay?’’ he can’t be sure. Maybe this dude wants to use his body as a vessel to take revenge on someone or something.

Again, that’s what all the horror movies want you to believe. But real ghosts - maybe they’re misunderstood.

Maybe they’re just as horny as humans in the flesh.

‘’How… can I be sure that you’re- uh, who you claim to be? You might as well be the wrinkly woman in the picture. Baited, I say.’’

Someone slaps the back of his head.


He rubs the sore spot and looks around.

In that moment, something catches his attention from the corner of his eye.

The mirror, except a man stands behind Baekhyun, around the same height as himself.

Looking behind himself physically, he sees nothing.

Back to the mirror, and the man’s still looming. He’s only visible in the mirror image.

It’s the second son, looking very much alive in the glow of the fireplace. He’s neither smiling or frowning, just staring back. He raises his hand, and Baekhyun feels a pressure on his shoulder.

Except Baekhyun can’t touch him back. It’s a one-way turn, and a faint one at that - the touches are fleeting, nothing real.

The man leans in and breathes on the mirror, and Baekhyun watches the mark of a hot breath there -


‘’Your name’s Kyungsoo?’’ Baekhyun asks.

The man nods.

‘’You know, I’ve got a brother too. He’s younger than me but studying to become a marine biologist, all successful and smart.’’

Kyungsoo smiles.

All right, that’s not creepy or anything.

He points to the table where the picture frame stands. Baekhyun spots a small item, holding it before himself in the range of the fireplace.

A fancy brooch that shapes a purple anemone, reflecting the orange light.

‘’You want me to put it on?’’ Baekhyun asks.

Kyungsoo nods.

There’s ten neon roadwork signs blinking in his head, but Baekhyun never half-asses anything. This goes for being the victim in a horror movie too.

‘’There you go,’’ he says, temporary double-chin and all in order to stare down at the brooch fastened over his heart.

He looks up.

‘’What now?’’

Kyungsoo’s smiling in the mirror again, but this smile is different, his dark eyes glistening.

‘’You get your prize,’’ a hushed, deep voice says next to Baekhyun’s ear.


The touch becomes a noticeable pressure, and looking over his shoulder, Baekhyun’s faced with the man in the mirror, startling him forwards.

‘’P-prize?’’ Baekhyun repeats. He turns to face Kyungsoo properly.

Kyungsoo’s even more handsome up close, eyes heavy and brooding but with light crinkles around them from a lopsided, easy-going lift at the corner of his mouth.

‘’As a thank you,’’ he says, stepping closer so that Baekhyun hits the mirror with his heels, ‘’for summoning me in the physical dimension.’’

‘’Where were you before? The spiritual?’’ Baekhyun asks, mouth running off to cover his nerves.

‘’You’re not far off. But not exactly. Now I can pass on peacefully, perhaps,’’ Kyungsoo says. ‘’But before that,’’ he’s close, standing face to face with Baekhyun so that their noses almost touch, ‘’I’ll reward you.’’

Despite his physical form, Kyungsoo’s touch isn’t warm. It’s a temperature that mirrors what it touches, and there’s the edge of something chilling beneath his touch, something from beyond.

‘’Yeah? What kind of- of- of- reward is that?’’ Baekhyun crosses his arms.

Why’s he suddenly playing coy? Nobody had warned him the ghost would be hot.

‘’You can have my silverware and robes.’’

He blinks. ‘’Your silverware?’’

‘’And my gratitude.’’

‘’Your… gratitude?’’


‘’You mean uh, gratitude as in…?’’ Baekhyun cocks his head to the side.

‘’My thanks.’’

‘’No, no- I mean. Are we gonna, you know?’’


‘’Uh, I don’t know… kiss, maybe?’’

Kyungsoo’s brows lift at the words, and it seems it dawns on him what Baekhyun’s initiating.

‘’Well,’’ he says, voice lighter, ‘’my company… I can offer as well.’’

They both hesitate for a moment to let a mutual agreement go through, sizing each other up and down.

Then, a palm places itself on Baekhyun’s hip, thumb caressing a patch of exposed skin at his stomach, already sending a surge through him from such a small action - a paranormal touch.

There’s definitely something extraterrestrial going on here.

Before Baekhyun can comment on it, Kyungsoo closes the distance between them.

His lips don’t only look soft - they’re cushiony against Baekhyun’s, and Baekhyun seeks that flow, an energy lingering under Kyungsoo’s skin transferring to Baekhyun the closer he gets.

The problem here is that Baekhyun still can’t touch him back, even if he can see Kyungsoo now.

Kyungsoo notices the concern and says, ‘’it will take some time before I’m physically present in this dimension.’’

‘’Dimension? How many are there?’’ Baekhyun asks and chases Kyungsoo’s mouth for another peck; only to receive none when he clips through Kyungsoo, drunk on the touch, and sad he can’t return the experience.

He’s had one-night stands before, and they’re all right - not everyone’s cup of tea. He’s enjoyed a few of them while other entries have been unluckier. They’re good for a shot of satisfaction like the coinoffers at McDonalds, but they’re also just that — quick fixes.

Kyungsoo’s touch is distinct from everything Baekhyun’s tried before. It’s that mix of cold and hot, something that’s real and at the same time not.

‘’You’re-’’ Kyungsoo clears his throat, ‘’very pleasant to the eye.’’

Had they sat down for a drink, Baekhyun would’ve asked more about these dimensions and why Kyungsoo’s avoiding the question, but right now he can’t think of anything other than Kyungsoo’s hands on him.

So, he just snorts at the compliment, giddy and simultaneously wavering between wanting to reach out while being unable to and stepping back to allow things to go at Kyungsoo’s pace.

‘’Talking’s neat, but I kinda also want my reward now,’’ he says, and gives his best imitation of an innocent smile.

‘’Impatient, are we?’’ Kyungsoo returns a smile alike, but his eyes are notably hooded.

He drops it in favor of kissing Baekhyun, tilting Baekhyun’s chin with his fingers and with Baekhyun melting into the space they’ve made.

Almost as if by a magical force, Kyungsoo drags Baekhyun to the bed by stepping backwards and pulling Baekhyun forwards till Kyungsoo’s standing by the bed. Then, he turns them around and says, ‘’sit’’, to which Baekhyun obliges.

Baekhyun’s eyes might as well pop out of their sockets when Kyungsoo kneels before him. ‘’You’re really gonna-‘’ and he forgets to speak when Kyungsoo unbuttons his pants.

It’s one thing getting sucked off at a party in the cubicle of the toilet by your everyday Joe, but it’s another case when you’ve got a guy from the Victorian era before you in expensive slacks, vest and pocket watch.

At least it makes for a great view - the fireplace still throwing shadows over the room and half of Kyungsoo’s face, sculpting his sharp jaw and the rest of his features.

Were blowjobs chic in the Victorian era? Baekhyun doesn’t know, and it’s not like he’s not going to complain.

His guts are swiveling with plenty of feelings and the room is already hot enough as it is. He throws his head back and arches when Kyungsoo kisses the slit on the tip of his cock, slowly enveloping Baekhyun in what he’d call the best gloryhole spanning across all time.

Even so, he musters the strength to look at what’s going on below, caught staring at Kyungsoo’s illuminated eyelashes and how his cheeks hollow when he sucks hard on the head, and the fill-up when he goes down again.

Testing the waters, he thrusts his hips and moans when Kyungsoo doesn’t respond with a gag reflex, but takes the rest of Baekhyun in. He still reprimands Baekhyun for trying without asking, pinching his thigh, making him jolt at the contrast.

Regardless, for a moment Baekhyun forgets Kyungsoo’s barely physically present, for he tries to grab at his hair, only to scare himself when his hand goes through Kyungsoo’s forehead.

Kyungsoo stops moving, choking with a laugh, and Baekhyun’s cheeks start prickling.

‘’I forgot…’’ he says sheepishly, with a pang of annoyance at the fact that he won’t be able to touch Kyungsoo back and please him too.

‘’I understand,’’ Kyungsoo says and kisses the side of Baekhyun’s dick very lovingly for them only to have known each other for half an hour at this point.

When Baekhyun comes, he dirties the floor instead of coming in Kyungsoo’s mouth and scares himself again, apologizing for staining another expensive-looking Persian carpet.

He’s spent; creeping up to star-fish on the bed with his limp dick still out.

Kyungsoo’s started looking through the closet in the meantime, both doing their own thing.

Baekhyun wonders, though.

‘’What did you mean when you wrote ‘you’ on the mirror?’’ he uses his elbows as leverage to raise himself and look at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo laughs, and Baekhyun could get used to that sound.

‘’Your company,’’ he says, softly. ‘’Someone to talk to.’’


So, ghosts aren’t horny or scary.

They’re just lonely.

‘’I’m pretty good at talking,’’ Baekhyun offers.

‘’It appears so,’’ Kyungsoo says.

‘’Hey, what’s with the tone?’’

Kyungsoo laughs again.


Baekhyun wakes up standing exactly where he’d fainted that night, sober.

Except it’s daytime now, there’s frost and a breeze going through the house rather than the warm veil of the fireplace, and his prior clothes are neatly folded before him with his jacket and sandals on top.

His phone’s regained signal, so he calls Sehun as the first thing, only to nearly have his ear blown off from both Sehun and Minseok both reprimanding him but also sharing their relief at hearing his voice.

Meanwhile, Baekhyun checks the rest of the house - there’s barely any furniture in it, it’s dusty and there’s moss in the corners, none of the coziness of last night present.

He’s checking the second floor when he spots Sehun from the window.

‘’Baekhyun!’’ he says when they meet halfway on the porch, ‘’where have you- wh- wha- what the fuck is that? What are you wearing?’’ he directs his open palms to point out the abnormality that is Baekhyun’s fine tunic.

‘’Dunno,’’ Baekhyun says, yawning. ‘’Kyungsoo gave it to me.’’

‘’Kyungsoo? Who’s that?’’

‘’The lord of the mansion, you know-‘’

‘’The lor- the what? Are you fucking with me? You were gone for over like 24 hours! I was on my way to report to the police-‘’

‘’Relax! Relax, it’s okay, Sehun. It’s just fine, like I told you! I just- I think I might’ve gotten a sugar daddy from the Victorian era?’’

Sehun glares. ‘’Vic… whatever. I- let’s just get back. We’ve got calculus in an hour and a half. And get in your usual slacks. I don’t wanna be seen with you if you’re wearing that.’’

‘’What? No!’’ Baekhyun takes a defensive stand. ‘’It’ll upset my daddy!’’

Sehun, who’d turned around to get to his bike, turns again. ‘’Don’t ever say that word to me again. Only I get to do that. Between us, I’m the sugar babe, and you know that. I have Hanseo from Cheongju, Debbie the accountant from Vancouver, and the other day I-‘’

‘’Okay, okay, supreme overlord ass-licker, you’re the original, I get it. But I wanna get spoiled too sometimes, what’s so wrong with that?’’

‘’Look,’’ Sehun says, as they both start walking, ‘’I’m just telling you as it is; this is a tough bizz. Being a sugar babe isn’t a hobby, it’s a lifestyle, and you just don’t got the right attitude. Your heart’s made of glass, and you’re too emotionally codependent on your partners to-‘’

They squabble all the way to their bikes.

Baekhyun stuffs the brooch in his pocket, excited for tonight.