Work Header

Zoom, A Tim Allen Film

Chapter Text

For Owen, who likes this god awful film.

Happy birthday you weirdo.


Scene 1: Intro

“The Zenith Team,” said a voice on the television. Tim Allen sat back, cigarette hanging from his bottom lip, looking down at the crack pipe on his coffee table.

“Five young superheroes who fought to protect the world from evil,” Tim Allen chuckled at the old tape. He stood, peeling his sweat soaked back off the ripped leather couch. He knelt and picked up the crack pipe.

“Led by Captimallen and his brother Concussion, the team saved many lives. Team Zenith,” Tim Allen stood once again and glanced around the room for any more drug paraphernalia.

“Oh, and with the help of their sidekick, Dr. Grant. The government sought to enhance the team's powers using Gamma-13 radiation,” Tim Allen gave up on the crack pipe and snatched a needle from the broken table beside the couch. He took off his belt, tied it around his arm, and looked down at his veins.

“Timallen got faster and stronger, but the Gamma turned Concussion to the dark side. He turned on his own team. Timallen lost his powers and his brother,” Tim Allen winced as heroine shot into him, and the needle snapped off in his arm.

“Home improvement grunt,” he said.