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Business or Pleasure?

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“What is the purpose of your trip?”

“Business.”

“How long do you intend to stay?”

“A week.”

“Where will you be staying?”

“Hotels, a colleague’s place. Maybe a dungeon.” A slight laugh.

“What is your occupation?”

“I’m an operative.”

“Who’s your employer?”

“Her Britannic Majesty’s Government, Military Intelligence.”

“Nature of your business?”

“Espionage, but on this trip it is my intent to cause rather a lot of mayhem and destruction in your country while straining our diplomatic relationship to the breaking point.”

“Anything to declare?”

“My watch has a megawatt laser in it and my cufflinks can block bullets. Also my kidneys are more efficient than the average human’s at removing alcohol from my bloodstream, and my bladder is full.”

“Bathrooms are to your right after you pass the checkpoint. Look for a green sign. Welcome to the United States, Mr. Bond.”