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(Literally) Magic Marty

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Deeks blinked repeatedly, slowly returning to consciousness with a low groan as whatever spell he’d been hit with finally wore off.

He wasn’t sure exactly what it was that had taken him down, but judging by how out of it he was it had probably been some sort of heavy duty Stunning Spell.

As the last bits of fog cleared from his vision, he became aware of three things at once: he was in the most depressingly drab room he’d ever seen in his life, his wrists appeared to be bound in what - unfortunately for him - looked like a set of Dampening Cuffs, and a tall brunette was staring at him from where she stood on the other side of a stainless steel table.

(If he was being honest, he also noted two more things - she was gorgeous, and she was furious).

“So,” he began, cracking the smile that had gotten him out of many a tricky situation in the past. “You could’ve just offered to buy me a drink, Princess. I don’t really play hard to get.”

She scoffed at him and, if possible, her glare became even more intense.“Or maybe,” he continued, holding his bound wrists up in front of him and jiggling the cuffs, “you just like things a little kinky.” He arched an eyebrow at her and smirked. “C’mon, you can tell me. It’s nothing to be asha-”

“Oh my God,” she huffed, cutting him off. “Do you ever stop talking?! Shut. Up.”

He snapped his mouth shut, but continued to stare at her. She held his gaze, looking back at him unblinkingly for a few moments before reaching for a file that lay on the table between them. Glancing down, she flicked it open and pulled out a series of photos. She slapped them down on the table forcefully before looking back up at him.

“Do you know why you’re here?” she asked.

Deeks simply looked back at her and blinked, tilting his head slightly but not saying a word. She’d told him to shut up, and, while following orders wasn’t usually his strong suit, he had a feeling that he’d benefit in the long run from riling her up. Or, at least, he’d have a lot of fun along the way.

“I asked you a question. Do you know why you’re here?” she repeated. He shrugged in response and lifted his cuffed hands to point at himself and then tapped his index finger over his lips in a gesture indicating “shhh.” A look of understanding passed over her face and she scrubbed a hand through her hair before heaving a heavy sigh. “Ugh, you picked a great time to start listening to me. Fine - you can speak. Now answer the question.”

He shrugged again. “Anyone ever tell you how cute you are when you are homicidally angry?”

“Look, Coulter-”

“No?” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken, mentally noting that she’d referred to him by his alias’ last name. “Well for the record, you’re stunning. And, also for the record, no I haven’t got a clue why you’ve brought me to,” he glanced around their rather nondescript surroundings, “wherever the hell this is.”

“Maybe this will give you a hint then,” she said, pointing at the roughly half-dozen photos she’d previously spread on the table.

Deeks looked at them, taking in the magically moving images of him in varying states of undress on the small stage of a somewhat seedy strip club. He was surrounded by a modest-sized audience of rather enthusiastic women who were cheering him on and throwing money towards the stage. He nodded, before looking back up at the brunette with a smirk. “Jealous, princess? There’s no need - I’m available for private parties as well.”

For a split second she looked like steam was going to come out of her ears before she grinned ferally at him. “Private parties? Really? Well, the only thing that would be better about that is that at least then you wouldn’t be flagrantly and publicly breaking the Statute of Secrecy. How long did you think you could get away with it?” She pointed at the photos, indicating several spots where it was clear that he was clearly using real magic to aid in his act. “You weren’t even being subtle. And calling yourself Magic Marty? It’s like you were begging for us to arrest you.”

He bit back the smile that wanted to escape - her feisty attitude was very appealing, despite the circumstances he found himself in. Her questions certainly explained some things, as did the badge he’d seen at her hip when she’d leaned over to point at the photos. She was some sort of Magical law enforcement officer, though not any kind he’d crossed paths with before, and she had him pretty well boxed in, but he couldn’t let her know that, not if he had any hope of pulling off his operation. His Lieutenant was not going to be happy. The only saving grace right now was that she didn’t seem to know who he really was.

Before he could say anything - though he wasn’t really sure what he would have said - the door swung open and a small, older woman with perfectly round glasses and an impeccable suit moved into the room so smoothly it was as if she were gliding. Deeks’ gaze flicked down to her feet and he wasn’t terribly surprised to see that he wasn’t far off the mark - she was actually levitating a few inches off the floor.

She floated into the room and set herself down gracefully next to the table before looking at the brunette who’d been questioning him. “Thank you, Agent Blye,” she said softly. “That will be all for now.” She then turned to face him, an enigmatic smile on her face. “Detective Deeks, I am sorry for the inconvenience,” she waved her right hand in an almost lazy gesture and the clasps on the Dampening Cuffs popped open. “There was a bit of a communications error - it appears that MCIS wasn’t notified that LAPD’s Magical Crimes Division was running an undercover operation at that particular club. We too had reasons to be investigating the owner - different reasons than your division, of course - and it appears that you got caught in the crossfire, as it were.”

He nodded, pulling the cuffs off and dropping them on the table. “MCIS?” he questioned as he rubbed at his wrists, trying to get the circulation back.

“Magical Criminal Investigative Service, Operations Manager Henrietta Lange at your service,” the older woman said with a smile, before rising into the air once again and levitating her way back to the door. She turned back just before heading out of sight, “Don’t worry about your Lieutenant, Detective Deeks. I’ve smoothed everything over with him, and, in fact, I have a feeling we may be seeing a bit more of you in the future. I’ll trust that Special Agent Blye will show you out,” and with that, she was gone in a puff of pale grey smoke.

Still unsure as to quite what had happened, Deeks turned back to the woman he now knew was Special Agent Blye. “Does she do that a lot?” he asked.

Blye huffed, rolling her eyes at him. “You have no idea.”

“And what was that about seeing more of me? I’m pretty sure that with those photos, you’ve seen just about all of me there is to see.”

“I’m not sure,” Agent Blye said, a pensive frown crossing her face. “Hetty’s always got some secret plan up her sleeve.”

“Well,” he said, standing and stepping closer to her. “If you want to see more of me, I meant what I said about those private parties.”

“Oh my God. ShutUp.”