Ryan has watched enough TV dramas to know a will they/won’t they couple when he sees one. This particular couple is edging ever closer to ‘will’ every day, but this isn’t a TV drama, there’s no epic finale where they have that realisation and fall into each other’s arms, they just…are.
He’s currently lounging in a bean chair, browsing through the never-ending games library on a console that boasts cross-play across every platform known to Earth. Just to the right of him, a large purple sofa stretches out in an L shape, covered with a ridiculous amount of miss-matched cushions The Doctor had insisted belonged on her perfect new purple sofa. “New body, new sofa,” she had said.
Currently residing on this sofa are Yaz and The Doctor, not paying any attention to Ryan and his gaming adventures – which are way more interesting than whatever book they’ve currently got their noses in. He rolls his eyes as each of them sporadically lift their own from the book to gaze, starry-eyed at the other, with a soft up-turn of the lips (Yaz) or open-mouthed wonderment (Doc) before whipping their heads back to the book, the object of their super obvious affection oblivious to the whole act. His quiet sighs remain unnoticed, and he goes back to the game he has chosen (it’s the last Call Of Duty ever and he’s not sure how the classic war game turned into a Political chess game, but he doesn’t think he wants to find out.)
He’s not totally cynical about love and what-not, he actually thinks that they would be kinda…cute together. Not that he would ever tell them that. No, once they finally get their act together – and they will – he will never, ever stop teasing Yaz and her doe eyes around the blonde.
Speaking of ammunition to tease Yaz with – a giggle, followed by an undignified snort sounds from his friend. Ryan whips his head back to the huddled pair to see Yaz, now with a hand clasped over her mouth, eyes shining with tears and glee at The Doctor who is scrunching her nose in that very Doctor way. He has no idea what’s so funny – even if he did, it probably isn’t as funny as Yaz found it because, well, she’s really really gay for The Doctor.
After the impromptu giggling fit, he notices the entangled position they’ve got themselves into – Yaz’s legs draped over and entangled with The Doctor’s, the blonde’s arm looped around Yaz’s legs, presumably to keep them exactly where the Doctor wants them. The Time Lord’s other hand is still holding up the book, which Yaz is peering at over The Doctor’s shoulder, probably using this as an excuse to gently rest her chin onto the blonde’s shoulder.
From where he’s sitting, he can’t see where Yaz’s left hand is, but it has to be somewhere between The Doctor and the sofa, and knowing their sense of boundaries with each other, it’s going to be in a questionably platonic area. Yasmin’s right arm is threaded under the Doctor’s, her fingers gently tracing the symbols decorating the page The Doctor is reading.
Ryan’s eyes widen – looking around the empty room as if to ask the TARDIS if she’s seeing this too (he hears a whir in his mind as a response and grins – he’ll never get tired of the fact that he can communicate with a freakin’ time machine) and picks his phone up from beside him, taking a few snaps for points of reference when he eventually stages an intervention or something. Pocketing his phone, he decides it’s finally time to remind them they aren’t alone in the room.
“That sofa not big enough for you two?” he wise cracks, keeping his face neutral as Yaz whips her head around to give him her best PC Khan stare as The Doctor partly disentangles from Yaz to face Ryan.
“If it gets any bigger, can it still be called a sofa? Will it morph into a futon? I guess that way there would be more room for cushions…ah! You’re a genius! Another gold star for Ryan – or 10 points – whichever it is, we’re going to need another trip to the planet IKEA!” She beams and jumps up from the sofa, holding out a hand towards Yaz.
Ryan watches as Yasmin blinks at the offered hand and then… picks up the discarded book from the sofa and places it in The Doctor’s hand.
“Oh my god,” Ryan mutters under his breath, he can’t believe it, he just can’t believe how useless his friend is when it comes to the Time Lord.
The Doctor pauses, her face scrunching ever so slightly at the book before returning to her grin.
“Right. Let’s go fam!” The Doctor spins on her heel and quickly bounds out of the room.
Yep. Ryan definitely saw tinges of red across the blonde’s cheeks before she left the room, a contrast to the white knuckle grip on the offending book.
So they’re both useless, ridiculously into each other, and now Ryan has to endure another traumatic journey through the planet of IKEA - because yes, it is a planet, and yes, is about a million times more complicated than the shops on Earth.
“I’ll go get the hiking gear,” he sighs, turning off his console.
“Um, yes right I’ll find Graham and see if The Doctor has maps for us this time.” Yaz finally moves from her position on the sofa, and leaves the room just as quick as her big fat crush had done a few moments prior.
“Hey uh, TARDIS? Please ‘accidentally’ send us to anywhere other than IKEA? I promise not to press any buttons on the console for like, a week.” His mind fills with a displeased thrum.
“Fine, two weeks?” He grins as a quieter, accepting whir sounds.
“Brill.” His hand lifts, intending to fist bump, when he remembers who (what?) he’s speaking to.
“Yeah. Nevermind.” Ryan clears his throat and saunters out of the room, hoping it’s only the TARDIS who’d witnessed that.