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What's Left

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He could fucking kill Ororo for making him do this. Okay, yeah, they need the room, or they will as soon as they hire some new teachers. And she's doing all the interviews and paperwork and crap that Logan's no good at.

But the room still smells like Scott. Like Jeanie, too, a little. Like himself, from the one night he spent here because Scott was too drunk to care. Like jizz and tears and cheap tequila and Scott's unwashed armpits. The sheets haven't been changed. Scott left the next morning.

Some of the clear-out's easy--the books, the clean clothes--and Logan does that first. Boxes it up for Goodwill. And then he's fucked, because what's he going to do with the rest of it? Scott's spare goggles, Jean's heart-shaped locket with "love from Scott" engraved inside. They've got a drawer full of old postcards and a goddamn corkboard covered with pictures of the two of them. There's one where they're about eighteen, wearing graduation gowns and those dumbass hats and standing on either side of Chuck. It's a picture of three dead people, and Logan doesn't know whether to throw it away or set it on fire or hang it in the entrance hall and make everybody who comes to this place take a good long look.

There's a worn-out pair of pink slippers that must have been Jean's, and two toothbrushes in their bathroom, and half a packet of birth control pills, and a bunch of old mix tapes with cover pictures cut out of magazines, and in Scott's sock drawer there's a little toy robot, maybe four inches high, made of aluminum with most of the paint worn off.

And fuck only knows why, but that's what knocks Logan down to the floor with his wet face in his hands. He cries like Scott did that day, except the only shoulders he could've cried on are gone, are ghosts, are smells in the bedclothes and a room full of junk.

Screw this, he thinks, later, when he's wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve. He'll finish another day.

When he goes, he takes the robot. He almost takes the graduation picture, too, but that's part of the school now. It's everybody's. The robot was just Scott's, and so Logan figures if it belongs to anybody now, it's him.