me and michael have been running around doing jobs for about 2 years now. we've only hit about 3 big stores but we rob some small gas stations or liquor stores just for the hell of it.
i wake up in a run down hotel with roaches crawling on the wall and the smell of dirty cheap women. i turn over and see a girl with blonde hair, i look over at michaels bed and he's with a girl with dark hair. i sit up and nudge her shoulder.
'Hey, darling. It was fun last night but it's 11am, you and your friend should start heading out.'
she rolls over and groans.
she walks into the bathroom and comes out fully dressed, i'd be lying if i didn't think she was beautiful. she's gorgeous. her bright blue eyes are glowing in the sun coming in through the blinds.
'Cmon Lana, Let's go.'
her friend rolls her eyes and looks at michael waiting for her money. michael digs through the pockets of his pants that were on the floor and pulls out 50.
she blows a kiss.
they both walk out the door and close it and me and michael are staring at eachother. he starts to laugh then heads towards the bathroom.
'What are you laughing at, huh?'
i know he's hiding something.
'Tell me, sugar.'
'Okay, fine.' he walks out of the bathroom. 'On the way here i saw this small bank, thinking we could hit it. i'm tired of sitting in this hotel and i'm ready to hit the next score.'
i shake my head and throw on my black saggy t-shirt, then put my ripped jeans on and buckle the belt.
'Dude, we're supposed to be lying low after the last job we did. Remember? You let some guy run away when the plan was to shoot them all? We don't leave witnesses, M.'
'I know, I know. It was an accident, T. We don't have to hit it but can we at least get out of this shithole?'
I roll my eyes and I shrug my shoulders and head out the door. I give the owner back the keys and wave as i'm leaving. We hop in the van and start the trip.
'So, Where are we going?'
Michael shrugs, 'I don't know. Anywhere but here.'
I laugh. Michael's always been one of those people who always wants to be up and running. He's got all this energy. Me, I've never really had a home. I lived in a trailer with my mom and my brother, but that all ended when my mom went to jail. I don't know what Ryan is doing, nor do I care.
Son of a bitch left my mom to get fucking locked up. I hate him. I fucking hate him.
I start clenching my fists so hard my fingernails are digging into my skin, I feel blood on them. But I don't care. My leg starts bouncing up and down rapidly and my breath gets short. Michael looks at me as I close my eyes to hide the tears that were forming. I don't cry. I don't.
'Whoa, T, what happened?'
'Nothing. I'm fine. Keep driving.'
'No, it's not fine. Tell me'
'Look townley. I'm not a poor little boy who can't take care of himself. Stop asking me what's wrong because i'm fucking fine.'
Michael sighs and puts his eyes back on the road. I look out of the window with my heart in my stomach, thinking about my mother. She's a beautiful, sweet woman. I miss her so much. I wish I could tell her how much I love and miss her.
Michael flips through the stations on the radio and stops when he hears a song he likes. He starts singing along.
'Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long.'
I turn my head around and look at him and he looks back. I crack a smile and he returns.
'If you're going my way, I wanna drive it all night long!'
I cover my ears jokingly.
'Ow! My ears.. they're bleeding'
Michael cracks up.
'Oh cmon, my singing isn't that bad.'
We laugh and michael changes the station. Under the bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers come on. Michael's singing makes me a little sleepy.
'I don't ever worry, now that is a lie.'
I smile stupidly.
'I don't ever wanna feel, like I did that day. But take me to the place I love, take me all the way.'
I drift off to sleep.
'Trevor, baby.. it's me.'
'Ma?? Wh- what are you doing here?'
'I came for you, my sweetheart. Come here and give me a hug.'
gunshot.. one after the other.
'Trevor.. I love you..'
'Wait ma.. come back, ma!'
No, no. Please.
'T! What the fuck?'
I jump up from my sleep. It was just a dream...
'Oh, hey, M. Sorry, just a bad dream.'
'I almost ran off the fucking road. You scared me..'
'I'm sorry. Where are we now?'
'Kingsville. Almost at a hotel, I'm guessing. Why? You wanting to go somewhere?'
'Y-yeah. Is there a bar near by? I need a drink.'
'Don't ask questions. Okay? I don't wanna talk.'
We drive for about another half hour. I'm staring out of the window thinking about the dream I had. Why does she keep appearing in my head? Fuck it. I just need to stop thinking about her.
'Okay, we're here.'
I open my door and climb out of the car. I walk into the small bar and head straight to the bartender.
'What can I get for ya, doll?'
'Whiskey. No fruity shit or ice, just straight whiskey. And keep me coming.'
'Damn, hard night?'
I take a deep breath.
'Something like that.'
She goes and pours me my drink. I take a shot and watch Michael walk in as he throws his cigarette on the ground and steps on it.
'Hey, you got us some drinks?'
'I got me a drink.'
Michael rolls his eyes and laughs.
'Asshole.' He mutters. 'Hey, beautiful. Get me what you got my friend here. Thank you.'
She smiles, 'Coming right up, sir.'
I take a sip of my drink and put my foot up on Michael's stool.
'Here you go.' She winks.
'Thank you.' He smiles back.
I have this weird feeling in my stomach, it feels abnormal.. Watching Michael seduce the girl sends my stomach into flames. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I watch Michael as he takes a drink of his whiskey, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think Michael was a gorgeous man. He's got this long dark hair, thin lips, and ocean blue eyes..
I've always been confused about my sexuality. I fuck guys and girls but I've never actually fallen in love with a guy, or felt any feelings towards one of them. I feel weird. Maybe it's the drink.
'You've been staring at me for the past 5 minutes. What gives?'
My heart falls in my ass. I feel so stupid.
'Oh I- um i,' I clear my throat 'I wasn't looking at you, sugar. I was looking at the girl behind you.'
He turns around, 'Damn. I see why..'
I grit my teeth, 'I'll be right back.'
I head into the bathroom hopefully someone will have some meth, or coke, or both. Just something to stop this feeling.
But, unfortunately, I found nothing. I head back out to Michael. I walk up to him.
'Can we get out of here?'
'What? We just got her-'
'Let's .. just go.'
Michael stares at me and shrugs his shoulders, takes one last sip of his drink and lays money on the table for the bartender.
We get into the van and we don't say a word the whole way to where we are staying. Michael gives me a few glances and acts as if he's gonna say something but he doesn't.
We finally pull up to the motel. It looks so old and abandoned like no ones stayed here in years. I walk into the small office and ask for a room. The guy gives me the keys and I throw a smile his way, 'Thanks.'
We get up to the room and notice there's only one bed. My eyes shoot open wide and Michael is confused.
'Aw, T, if you wanted to sleep with me, all you had to do was ask.'
'Why would I want to sleep with you? You'd smother me, you fat fuck.'
Michael laughs, 'It's okay. I'll sleep on the floor.'
'Good, it's where you belong.'
I flop down on the bed and stare at the ceiling, until i hear snoring, michael was already asleep which made me realize how long I've been laying there, in my thoughts.
I turn over on my side and close my eyes, but my mind just keeps thinking about him, and why I got jealous, he's my bestfriend. My buisness partner. Nothing more.
I open my eyes and wince as the bright sun glares through the window, I look at the clock.
I look over and Michael and he's sleeping like a baby. He looks so peaceful.
He jumps up, 'Ah! Shit, T..'
'Haha, look at you, you pussy!' I hold my stomach from laughing so hard..
'Yeah, yeah, fuck you.'
'Don't you wish.'
My heart fell in my ass when I said that. He just gave me a look then laughed it off. I laugh nervously.
'So, what are we doing today, M?
'I don't know, yet. Was going to give Lester a call, see if he had any jobs for us.'
I nod my head as Michael lights up a cigarette.
'Those things will kill you, you know?'
'Yeah.. meth will also kill you.'
I roll my eyes and he laughs, I watch him take a hit, inhale, exhale, then flick the cigarette to get the ashes off.
'Well, I'm gonna take a shower while you do whatever it is that you do.'
Michael laughs, 'Can I join?'
I snap my head around with my eyes wide open.
Michael just laughs and continues smoking, I laugh anxiously and run into the bathroom. I look down and I see something poking out. Great. I have a fucking boner.
The thought of me and Michael in the shower together sent chills down my spine. Him touching me, us sharing passionate kisses, him moving his hand down and touching my-
i jump really hard.
'T? I gotta pee before you get in there.'
'Go pee outside, you rat.'
I look at myself in the mirror and try to catch my breath, holding my chest with my hands. I walk into the shower to try and calm myself down, I look down and see i'm still hard. I try to get off with my hands but it isn't working. I wish it were Michael's hands touching me.
I throw my clothes on and head outside and go sit in the van as Michael uses the phone in the room to call Lester. But he doesn't answer.
'Yo! Does Lester hates me or something?'
'Yeah, everyone does.'
'You know, you're a real asshole, trevor.'
'So I've heard.'
Michael just rolls his eyes and starts the van and pulls off onto the road. I watch as his hands grip the steering wheel. I turn on the radio but I don't find anything good.
'You're not even listening to the music, T, you're just flipping stations.'
He swats my hand away and goes back to a station, smiling.
'I love this fucking song.'
'Please don't start singin-'
'The way you make me feel, insiiIIIIDE!'
I wince as he horribly fails to hit the high note.
'Ow! My ears!'
'YOU! got me feeling emotions, deeper than I've ever dreamed of..'
'Sing one more word and I'm jumping out of the car.'
'YOU! got me feeling. ee moo tioonss!'
I put my hand on the door handle and open the door.
'Okay okay! I'll shut up. Just don't kill your self.'
We laugh, and the music fades away when I look at michael. Watching him glow in the sunlight, his teeth shining like a bright moonlight, his smile.. his eyes.. him..'
I turn and look out of the window quickly before I do something stupid. I squeeze my eyes shut and hope the warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach will go away.. but it doesn't.
'There's a strip club up here on the right, wanna go?'
I laugh, 'Yeah, nothing I love more than cheap women and cheap booze.'
He smiles as we pull into the parking lot.
We walk into the club, bodies sweating and drinks held high. Everyone seems to be having a good time.. as I should be as well. I head over to the bar and ask for a whiskey on ice and Michael goes straight for the women.
'Make that two, darling.'
I walk over to Michael and take a seat next to him, handing him his drink.
'Here you go, prick.'
He grabs the drink but he doesn't look at me, he keeps his eye on the dancer, he starts fiddling in his pocket for some money to throw at her.
'Hey, don't do that. We need that.'
'The fuck, T? Don't stop me from getting pussy.'
'You can get it without blowing our fucking money, Michael.'
'Hey, baby, wanna dance?'
Michael turns and looks at the girl and jumps us, straightening himself up.
'Yes, how much?'
'I only got 40, is that a problem?'
'No, that's fine. Come with me.'
'Michael! What the fuck? Stop!'
He walks up to me and gets in my face,
'Back the fuck off, T.
And walks away with the dancer, sliding her the money. I bite my tongue and clench my fists but nothing's helping. I run up the stairs and grab Michael's arm before he enters the private room.
'Sorry, darling, but we have to go.'
'T, I said back the fuck off!'
'You guys are some crazy motherfuckers, I'm leaving.'
Michael sighs and glares at me.
'Look I'm not letting you spend our fucking money on some whore! We need that fucking money!'
Michael walks out without looking at me, lighting a cigarette and leaning on the van.
'Yo, M, it's not that serious. We would've went broke and had nowhere to stay if you did that. I saved your ass.'
'Fuck off, Trev.'
'Are you really that pissed?'
'Yeah, i'm really that pissed off.'
'You're just sexually frustrated, and that's okay Mikey, you can find a woman for free.'
'Whatever, lets go.'
I honestly don't know why he was so pissed off. Maybe he was embarrassed, or he hasn't had sex in two days, I really don't know, but oh well. I just shrug it off and stare at the sky and watch every street lamp go by.
We end up back at the motel, 'Why did we come back here?'
'There wasn't a motel close enough except this one. So we're staying again.'
We walk in and i kick my boots off and lay down on the bed. We didn't do anything today but I feel so fucking exhausted. I look as Michael has a cigarette in his mouth staring out the window.
'Whatcha thinking about, sugar?'
'Nothing, nothing.' He looks at me.
It's a dark, seductive look too. I sit up and straighten up my pillow, 'well okay, I'm just gonna try to go to sleep.'
I turn where my back is facing him, but i can feel his eyes glaring at me. My stomach heats up but I just shake it off.
I drift off to sleep.