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this site is a prison (no titties)

Work Text:

“Tumblr staff has officially blocked you from posting for the following sins:

  • Having an eight inch dick
  • Horny on main
  • Gay on main

If you would like to appeal this, fuck off to hell we’re too busy sucking our stockholder’s dicks to get back to you.”

 

Al stared at the letter for about fifteen minutes straight, uncertain what any of it was supposed to mean, before shrugging and tucking it into his pocket. Was this a court summons? If so, it was a very unusual one. A personal threat? Again, extremely unusual. (Although, them knowing the length of his penis was mildly concerning.)

 

He decided he would worry about it whenever he found out what a “tumblr” was.

 

 

“You and your non-binary-presenting nipples are on THIN FUCKING ICE, don’t you ever bring your bare chest near me or my son ever again, fruit is for whores, nazis are okay, no flesh tones on my Christian Minecraft server. 

 

-Staff”

 

“I can’t read a single goddamn word of this,” Oswald said, before yeeting the letter into a random fire and naruto running away to go kiss her girlfriend.