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Chapter Text

Sherry created the group Friends

Sherry added Jake, Leon, Helena, Chris, Piers and Ada to the group

Ada: sherry dear

Sherry: yeah

Ada: these people are not my friends

Leon: what about me

Ada: these people are not my friends

Leon: :<

Helena: yeah you really should change the group name

Sherry: but

Chris: call it six people plus bitch no one invited

Ada: mature

Sherry: but i did invite her

Piers: why

Sherry: she saved me

Jake: sorta

Sherry: what do you mean sorta

Jake: well i did most of the saving you thing

Sherry: i mean that one time in china

Sherry: you know what im talking about

Jake: when were we in china

Piers: you even know where china is

Jake: im still debating kicking your ass lapdog

Piers: at least let me buy you a map first so you can find china

Ada: are you selling tickets

Chris changed Ada to bitch

bitch: love you too

Leon: i can smell your scowl from here chris

Chris: wat

Helena: wat

Sherry: no

Sherry: no fighting here

Sherry: i made this group so we can all be friends

Sherry: and god damn it we are all going to be friends

Chris: no

Sherry: what do you mean no

Leon: uh oh

Jake: assholes about to be pouted to death

Helena: by a pixie

Sherry: im not a pixie

Helena: youre like one of santas little helpers

Sherry: take that back

Leon: you sorta are

Jake: cute

Piers: you are so messed up

Jake: says mutant boy

Piers: kiss my ass

Jake: youd like that wouldnt you

Chris: you wanna kiss his ass youll have to go through mine first

Leon: wat

Helena: wat

Sherry: wat

bitch: wat

Jake: dafuq

Piers: the fuck does that even mean chris

Piers: i am so confused

Jake: what else is new

Piers: go fuck yourself or your pixie friend

Sherry kicked Piers from the group

Chris: bring him back

Sherry: no not until he apologises

Jake: thanks sweetie

Sherry: he called me a pixie

Jake: wow okay

Helena: so did i

Sherry kicked Helena from the group

Leon: sherry

Sherry: i want apologies from every one of you

Chris: the hell did i do

bitch: me too

Sherry: okay chris ada and jake can stay

Jake: mwah

Leon: and me

Sherry: okay i forgive you

Chris: wait why him

Sherry: cause he was just following the crowd

Leon: yay

Sherry added Helena to the group

Helena: oh yay i live

bitch: lucky you

Leon: what about piers

Chris: add him back

Sherry: okay fine

Jake: fuckin dont

Jake: we can do without asshole junior

Sherry added Piers to the group

Piers: why

Jake changed Piers to mutant lapdog

mutant lapdog: i ask again why

Chris: why mutant

mutant lapdog: thats the bit you have a problem with

Chris: but the other bit is accurate

Chris: sorta

mutant lapdog changed Chris to asshole amnesiac

asshole amnesiac: that hurts

mutant lapdog: good

Jake: lovers spat

Helena: you sound jealous jake

bitch: pfft

Jake: the hell is wrong with you

Jake: sherry stop laughing

Sherry: sorry

Leon: but jake loves sherry right

Helena: thanks leon for the freakin obvious

Jake: i do not love sherry

mutant lapdog: denial

Jake: stfu

asshole amnesiac: denial

Jake: i dont

Helena: denial

Jake: stop

bitch: denial

Jake: not you too

Leon: sounds like denial

Jake: fuckin kick me

Sherry: i just spat my drink all over my keyboard

Jake has left the group

Chapter Text

asshole amnesiac: Chris

mutant lapdog: Piers

bitch: Ada


Sherry added Jake to the group

Jake: no

Sherry: cmon

Jake: not doin it

Sherry: pleeeeeeeeeeeeease

bitch: is the big baby still sulking

Jake: mever

mutant lapdog: the fuck is mever

Jake: rypo

asshole amnesiac: is he making typos cause hes crying

bitch: yes

Leon: making rypos

Jake: fuck off

Leon: mever

Jake: i hate you all

Sherry: cept me

Jake: cept you

Helena: can i apologise for leon being a giant manchild wholl imitate anything

mutant lapdog: but we all knew that already

Helena: true but im still apologising

mutant lapdog: apology accepted

Helena: seriously though im tired of babysitting him

Helena: take him off my hands

Leon: :<

asshole amnesiac: give him to bitch

bitch: how dare you assume i dont have a life

mutant lapdog: you dont

asshole amnesiac: cause you died

Leon: you died

bitch: yes i am a ghost

Sherry: shes not a ghost stop being idiots

Leon: you sure

Helena: yes leon

mutant lapdog: howd you get stuck with him

Helena: i wouldnt point fingers

mutant lapdog: point taken

asshole amnesiac: take that fuckin back i am amazing

mutant lapdog: skilled rockpuncher

Sherry: you seriously punched a rock

mutant lapdog: in a volcano and everything

mutant lapdog: it was incredible

asshole amnesiac: i did it to save a partner

asshole amnesiac: she was gonna fall

bitch: managed to save that one then

asshole amnesiac changed bitch to fucking bitch

fucking bitch: love you more

asshole amnesiac: go to hell

fucking bitch: already there sweetheart

Sherry: piers im changing your name

mutant lapdog: finally

mutant lapdog: make it something good

Jake: like head up captains ass

mutant lapdog: fuck off

Sherry: no i got something better

Jake: even better than that

Sherry changed mutant lapdog to BorkSAA

BorkSAA: god why

Jake: hahaha thats my girl

Helena: bork bork

BorkSAA: stop

asshole amnesiac: more accurate

BorkSAA: chris sometimes youre such an ass

asshole amnesiac: amazing ass

Sherry: got the most adorable puppo face

Jake: wait what

fucking bitch: youre worrying the baby

Sherry: just cause i wanna play with piers face doesnt mean i wanna sleep with him

BorkSAA: wow well okay

asshole amnesiac: this got weird fast

Leon: youre closer to piers age than jakes

Jake: stfu

asshole amnesiac: way to make it weirder

fucking bitch: we should get back to jakes love for sherry

Jake: god damn it no

Sherry: anything to unweird this

Jake: not that though

BorkSAA: yes that

Leon: please that

fucking bitch: were all dying to hear about you two lovebirds

Helena changed Jake to pixie lover

pixie lover: change it back

Sherry: helena im warning you

Sherry: three strikes and youre out

Helena: totally worth it

pixie lover: how is this fair

asshole amnesiac: punishment for fuckin off

fucking bitch: true

pixie lover: fuck you ghost

Leon: so she is a ghost

Helena: im getting tranqs

pixie lover: screw the tranq

pixie lover: change me back right noy

Sherry: what is noy

Leon: noy

asshole amnesiac: still crying

fucking bitch: big baby

pixie lover: sherry your keyboard fuckin sucks

Sherry: sorry its still sticky from before

Leon: stucky keybard

fucking bitch: sticky you say

Sherry: oh my god

asshole amnesiac: why you using sherrys keyboard

Helena: what are you two doing over there

asshole amnesiac: jake you there

asshole amnesiac: taking silence as no

BorkSAA: helena did you tranq jake too

Helena: i wish

Sherry: you mean you really tranqd leon

Helena: sure did

Chapter Text

pixie lover: Jake

asshole amnesiac: Chris

BorkSAA: Piers

fucking bitch: Ada


Helena: tell us more about your rock

asshole amnesiac: seriously

fucking bitch: was it a pet rock

Leon: with a face

pixie lover: fuck hes awake

pixie lover: use another tranq he woke up

Helena: cant its too soon

asshole amnesiac: it wasnt a rock it was a boulder

Leon: but did it have a face

asshole amnesiac: no face

Helena: is that why you cant remember anything

asshole amnesiac: my memorys fine

BorkSAA: keep telling yourself that

Sherry: seriously what happened

Sherry: whod you try to save

asshole amnesiac: my partner i told you

Helena: was it the bork bork

BorkSAA: stop

pixie lover: is that why asshole junior types one handed

fucking bitch: one handed you say

Sherry: ada

Helena: jerking off

Sherry: helena

asshole amnesiac: can an octopus jerk off

fucking bitch: probably an expert

BorkSAA: im not an octopus you bunch of dicks

Leon: jellyfish

BorkSAA: not a jellyfish

Leon: squid

BorkSAA: enough

pixie lover: you didnt say no to jerkin off

Sherry: can we get back to the rock

Sherry: wanna hear about adventure

Leon: adventure

asshole amnesiac: it happened four years ago

BorkSAA: in the depths of africa where deals were going down for selling bows on the black market captain boulderfield and his partner busty were sent in to investigate

pixie lover: boulderfield and busty

asshole amnesiac: wait a sec

Leon: as busty as helena

Helena: shut up leon

BorkSAA: they chased ricardo montalban all the way into a marsh where they boxed crocs but ricardo managed to escape to the mines which were pitch black

Leon: where there ghosts

Helena: what is it with you and ghosts

Sherry: leon are you afraid of ghosts

Leon: no

fucking bitch: lies

Leon: okay im afraid of ghosts

asshole amnesiac: what is this alcoholics anonymous

BorkSAA: you would know

Sherry: continue adventure

BorkSAA: so the chase continued through oil fields and on a big boat where ricardo turned into a wiggly whale until boulderfield and busty blew it up with guns

Leon: how do you blow up with guns

Helena: finally some sense from him

fucking bitch: itll pass soon enough

Helena: anything we can do to stretch it out

Leon: we talking about stretching

Helena: aaaand were back

Sherry: piers

BorkSAA: right

BorkSAA: boulderfield and busty win the fight and end up on a set from the lion king then venture deeper into a not umbrella lab and fight strawb jello with claws

Leon: strawb jello

Leon: can i have jello

Helena: god damn it look what you did

BorkSAA: not my problem

Helena: he wont stop until i get him something

fucking bitch: ill handle it for you

Helena: im sceptical

fucking bitch: i promise

Helena: well see

BorkSAA: after fighting lots of different flavoured jello they ended up facing off against crazy sunglasses and his barbie in a maze

asshole amnesiac: it wasnt a maze

pixie lover: crazy sunglasses

BorkSAA: also known as where is china senior

pixie lover: oh fuck you i know where china is

Sherry: he knows now i bought him a map

pixie lover: ugh

BorkSAA: barbie got saved but sunglasses walked away so slow that boulderfield coulda caught up

asshole amnesiac: i was pinned

BorkSAA: by barbie

asshole amnesiac: shes not barbie

asshole amnesiac: but yeah

fucking bitch: youre a bottom

Sherry: ada stop making this creepy

fucking bitch: nope

asshole amnesiac: how am i creepy

Sherry: i dont wanna think about claires bro bottoming

fucking bitch: yes you do

BorkSAA: then there was a boat

fucking bitch: with bottoming

BorkSAA: no just a boat

BorkSAA: i dont wanna think about it either

fucking bitch: yes you do

pixie lover: prob does

BorkSAA: im gonna think about your girlfriend bottoming instead

pixie lover: lets go asshole

Sherry: oh god why me piers

Leon: why not helena

BorkSAA: cause it doesnt piss jake off

Leon: ohhhhhhh

Helena: should i be offended

fucking bitch: yes

Helena: then i am offended

Sherry: please pick on helena instead

BorkSAA: if itll make you feel better

fucking bitch: helena stop being offended he chose you

Helena: my life is complete

asshole amnesiac: i dont bottom

fucking bitch: you do

fucking bitch: you go on top and youll crush with your muscles

Helena: rock hard muscles

fucking bitch: huhuhuhuhuh

asshole amnesiac changed fucking bitch to fucking fucking bitch

fucking fucking bitch: disappointed by your lack of originality

asshole amnesiac: i fuckin hate you

Leon: wait a rock got punched

BorkSAA: to save busty from falling into fire yep

BorkSAA: thats how he got the name boulderfield

Sherry changed asshole amnesiac to Boulderfield

Boulderfield: ugh fine i accept

fucking fucking bitch: could be worse

Leon: so they won

BorkSAA: they won

Leon: yay

Sherry: howd they get away

BorkSAA: teleportation

asshole amnesiac: are you fuckin serious

Helena: im pretty sure half this story is missing piers

fucking fucking bitch: no it was perfect

pixie lover: lost ten minutes of my life that coulda been spent on better things

fucking fucking bitch: nuzzling your little blonde friend

pixie lover: im makin a hit list

Sherry: you can nuzzle me anytime but piers story i might never hear again

Boulderfield: fuckin right about that

BorkSAA: whatd i do

Boulderfield: you totally storyblocked me

BorkSAA: i what

Boulderfield: i was gonna tell them what really happened

BorkSAA: but i made it more exciting

Boulderfield: you made it stupider

BorkSAA: i spiced up your boring ass version

Boulderfield: fuck you you werent even there

pixie lover: whyd you even try to save him

pixie lover: shoulda left him in the ocean

Sherry: no thats mean

Boulderfield: i dunno im starting to regret my decision

BorkSAA: you douchebag i only got this wiggly arm because of your fuck ups

Leon: wiggly arm like a squid

Helena changed BorkSAA to Squidward

Squidward: what the actual fuck

Chapter Text

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada


pixie lover changed the group Friends to Fronds

Squidward: i swear to god

Boulderfield: swear to poseidon

Boulderfield: dont you start roid ragin in your seat

Leon: raging squid

Helena: ohhhhh thats a much better name

Helena: i shouldve made it that

Squidward: i thought we were friends

Helena: you thought wrong

fucking fucking bitch: who gave jake power

Sherry: yeeaaaah that was my fault

Sherry: i made him mod and now i regret my life

pixie lover: mwah

fucking fucking bitch: least you know for next time

Sherry: i do

fucking fucking bitch: there will be many next times

pixie lover: up yours

Sherry: play nice jakey jake

pixie lover: dont wanna

Boulderfield: cmon jakey jake

pixie lover: stfu

fucking fucking bitch: you have pet names for each other

Helena: how pwecious

Leon: so whats yours sherry

Sherry: i dunno i think mine are pretty regular

Sherry: blondie

Sherry: goldilocks

Sherry: that kind of thing

Sherry: aw i want a better pet name jake

fucking fucking bitch: you make her cry

pixie lover: okay okay what would you like

Sherry: not pixie or santas little helper

Leon: wittle golden fluff

Sherry: yeah something like that

pixie lover: you shittin me

Helena: how about sherry werry

Sherry: that works too

fucking fucking bitch: jakes seducer

Sherry: ada

pixie lover: stop suggestin shit like that

Squidward: how about woman whos too good for you

pixie lover: fuck

pixie lover: and

pixie lover: you

Boulderfield: how bout national security but make it all caps

Sherry: thats so uncute not that please

pixie lover: lemme find something

pixie lover: you gotta stop squintin over my shoulder though

Sherry: okay

pixie lover: sit back down and ill do it

pixie lover: want it to be a surprise

Sherry: just show me now

pixie lover: sit

Sherry: im going im going

fucking fucking bitch: ;)

Sherry: stop

Helena: are you blushing

pixie lover: yeh

Sherry: i am not blushing

Boulderfield: back in denial land

Leon: where is denial land

Squidward: in the sky apparently

Sherry: im not blushing

pixie lover: like a tomato

Sherry: i will take away your privileges

pixie lover: shes not blushing

fucking fucking bitch: whipped

Sherry: its not denial land

pixie lover: im not whipped

Helena: this chat is denial land

Boulderfield: accurate

Leon: tomato

Leon: i am very hungry

Helena: shut up i know already

Helena: the food is coming

Boulderfield: youre like the king and queen of denial land

Sherry: only thing im queen of is this chat and i have kicking power

Squidward: of maybe a foot in front of you

Sherry: god damn it piers

pixie lover: everybody calm the fuck down

pixie lover changed Sherry to babydoll

babydoll: gasp

babydoll: i love it

fucking fucking bitch: congratulations jake

pixie lover: what

fucking fucking bitch: youre going to lose your virginity tonight

pixie lover: i dont even

Squidward: adorable

Helena: daw

Leon: its magical

pixie lover: ugh

fucking fucking bitch: remember to use protection

pixie lover: fuckin

pixie lover kicked fucking fucking bitch from the group

babydoll: thats it im taking your power away

pixie lover: im sorry ill stop i swear

babydoll: too late

pixie lover: noooooooooooooo

Helena: get rekt

babydoll added fucking fucking bitch to the group

fucking fucking bitch: i live again

Leon: yay no more ghost

Helena: someone speed up time

Squidward: you run out of tranqs again ill lend you some

babydoll: piers why do you have tranqs

fucking fucking bitch: you really have to ask

Boulderfield: fuck you piers

Boulderfield: you try that shit on me again i will throw you against the wall and watch you sticky roll your way down

Squidward: only do it cause you give me reasons

pixie lover: film this

fucking fucking bitch: yes you film this and i will be nice to you forever

Leon: i wanna see

Helena: everyone wants to see this masterpiece

babydoll: so many images in my head right now

Squidward: its not as funny as it looks

Boulderfield: it fuckin is

Boulderfield: im filming this and selling it worldwide

Squidward: christ practically all of the bsaas seen it already

Squidward: is that not enough

Boulderfield: i just like tormenting you

fucking fucking bitch: what the bsaa is all about

Boulderfield: you being nice was a lie

fucking fucking bitch: you havent filmed it yet

Boulderfield: touche

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada


Helena: he did it i cant even

babydoll: did what

Helena: leon

Squidward: need a bit more info

Helena: leon

Boulderfield: more specific

pixie lover: pretty wide area of stupid shit

fucking fucking bitch: tell us all your woes helena

Helena: he gets bored on the plane

Helena: specially when hes hungry

Helena: so i put on the tv for him

Helena: how was i to know it was disney singalong

Squidward: hes leaving you alone though

Helena: like hell he is

Helena: he wants me to join in

babydoll: what movie is it

Helena: what

babydoll: which disney movie

Helena: how should i know

Helena: why does that even matter

fucking fucking bitch: helena dear you need to cope with this the adult way

Helena: whats that

Boulderfield: whoring

fucking fucking bitch: ooh you got me there

pixie lover: seriously tell us

pixie lover: we all might need it

fucking fucking bitch: i think youd all benefit from whoring yes

Helena: i beg you share your knowledge

babydoll: be nice ada she begged

fucking fucking bitch: im always nice

fucking fucking bitch: but you did beg and i like that

pixie lover: she a dom

Boulderfield: prob

Squidward: images

Boulderfield: im changing seats

fucking fucking bitch: you have a hard on for me boy

pixie lover: jerkin off and now a hard on

Squidward: boy

pixie lover: you didnt say no to hard on

pixie lover: he got hard on

Squidward: i do not

babydoll: would telling leon that calm him down

fucking fucking bitch: about the boys hard on

babydoll: dammit no

babydoll: god dammit you all know what i meant

Helena: we really dont

babydoll: oh my god

babydoll: i was talking about leon and ada being a dom

babydoll: youre all so shitty sometimes

Helena: back to advice i need it

Helena: i must know

fucking fucking bitch: okay its alcoholism

Squidward: seriously

Boulderfield: wait it does work

babydoll: no dont turn her into a hobo

Helena: temp hobo

Helena: have to do something before i go insane and out the airlock

Boulderfield: to the bar

Squidward: thats not good advice

Boulderfield: sounds good advice to me

Squidward: you would say that

pixie lover: you got any more sleeping pills or tranqs

Helena: no

babydoll: please what film is it i have to know

pixie lover: youre a fuckin disney dork

babydoll: damn right its the best

fucking fucking bitch: whats your favourite film sweetie

babydoll: little mermaid

Helena: oh shit thats what leons watching

pixie lover: that asshat singin under the fuckin sea

Squidward: this is a witch hunt

Boulderfield: no it fuckin isnt

fucking fucking bitch: nobody really likes you

fucking fucking bitch: youre an egomaniac

Squidward: coming from you

fucking fucking bitch: im liked

pixie lover: nope

Squidward: see

pixie lover: hate you both

babydoll: dont worry i like you ada

Boulderfield: leon really likes you

fucking fucking bitch: dont remind me

Boulderfield: he wants you ada

fucking fucking bitch: for the love of javo

pixie lover: he wanna tap dat

fucking fucking bitch: i refuse to be tapped

Boulderfield: its gonna happen whether you like it or not

fucking fucking bitch: is not

pixie lover: inevitable

babydoll: wait everyone

babydoll: helenas been quiet for ages

fucking fucking bitch: is she drinking

Boulderfield: hopefully

Squidward: this is a bad idea

pixie lover: youre a bad idea

fucking fucking bitch: ooh burn

Squidward: oh no my feelings are hurt

Squidward: dick

pixie lover: asshole

Squidward: shrimp fucker

pixie lover: er no thats you

Boulderfield: accurate

fucking fucking bitch: this feels more like word association than verbal sparring

babydoll: piers i resent that

babydoll: but more importantly is helena okay

babydoll: we should ask leon if shes okay

fucking fucking bitch: please dont

babydoll: im gonna go get leon

babydoll: dont do any stupid shit when im gone

pixie lover: we wont

babydoll: jake im looking at you

fucking fucking bitch: you seriously want him in charge again

babydoll: hes in charge so you all be good

pixie lover: hell ye privileges

Squidward: mutiny

fucking fucking bitch: mutiny

Boulderfield: cant be assed

Squidward: traitor

pixie lover: 8)

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada


pixie lover: so basically the only people i liked are gone

Boulderfield: i saved you

fucking fucking bitch: because leon said so

Squidward: true

pixie lover: very true

Boulderfield: coulda left you there

Boulderfield: but i didnt and that means something

Squidward: you hate me and still you tried to make me leave

Boulderfield: that was different

Squidward: how

Boulderfield: cause

fucking fucking bitch: can you feel the love

pixie lover: are you drunk

fucking fucking bitch: god i hope so

Squidward: hope helenas okay

fucking fucking bitch: do you love her

Squidward: why does me caring about anything mean i want its ass

pixie lover: cause it usually does

Boulderfield: huhuhuhuhuhuh

fucking fucking bitch: huhuhuhuhuhuh

Boulderfield: we have some kinda respect going on ada and do i like it

fucking fucking bitch: yes

pixie lover: weird

fucking fucking bitch: yes

Squidward: are you automated

Squidward: youre like a robot

pixie lover: automated bitch

fucking fucking bitch: yes

fucking fucking bitch: yes to everything

Boulderfield: told you shes a whore

pixie lover: ada island

Squidward: god no we had enough of that before

fucking fucking island: ada island does have a good ring to it

Squidward: stop her

Boulderfield: nah

babydoll: okay im back

babydoll: ada pls no cloning

fucking fucking bitch: ugh fine

babydoll: wow

babydoll: no fights im amazed

fucking fucking bitch: we only fight when youre babysitting

babydoll: hey

pixie lover: its only cause we dont want you to miss out

babydoll: oh

babydoll: <3

pixie lover: <3

fucking fucking bitch: now take him in the bathroom and do things to him

babydoll: oh my god

pixie lover: dont you have an off switch

fucking fucking bitch: mever ;)

pixie lover: dont you fuckin start

Leon: hey friends

fucking fucking bitch: we have been through this leon

fucking fucking bitch: these people are not friends

Leon: but theyre my friends

pixie lover: fuck me did you say his name too many times

Leon: wat

babydoll: never mind that

babydoll: is helena okay

babydoll: whats going on

Leon: this plane has a bar

Leon: she found it

Leon: then banned me from it

Boulderfield: you enjoy the movie

Leon: yaaaaaaaaaaas

babydoll: leon get helena here im worried

Leon: kay

Boulderfield: everyone pucker your asses

Squidward: what is it with you and asses

Boulderfield: i chose one as my partner didnt i

fucking fucking bitch: damn son

pixie lover: who needs enemies

Helena: heyyyyyyyyyy

pixie lover: uh oh

Leon: tada

fucking fucking bitch: get yourself some tissues boy

Squidward: stop with that

Squidward: i do not require wiping

Boulderfield: you will

babydoll: helena you doing okay

Helena: havn th best time o y life

Boulderfield: you sure thats helena and not leon or dildo brain

fucking fucking bitch: which one is dildo brain

Boulderfield: thought it was obvious

fucking fucking bitch: but there are too many

Boulderfield: true

pixie lover: fuck you

Boulderfield: eyyyy hole in one

pixie lover: youre the hole

Helena: we talk bout holes i like holes

fucking fucking bitch: told you itd work

Squidward: you are so wrong about that

fucking fucking bitch: keep drinking and all will be well

babydoll: okay i think youve gone too far

fucking fucking bitch: which one of us and which part

babydoll: all of it

babydoll: its time to stop

Leon: memes


pixie lover: aw

Boulderfield: dayum all caps she means business

pixie lover: sure does

Squidward: whipped

Leon: like ice cream

Leon: ooh can i have ice cream

Helena: you have any you want lee

fucking fucking bitch: you were right i went too far

babydoll: leon you got to get the alcohol away from her

Squidward: without dying okay

pixie lover: dont try an take it away near the airlock

Leon: gotcha

Boulderfield: he can be trained its a miracle

Squidward: you sound like a proud dad

Helena: id like to make a dad outta you

Squidward: wait what

Helena: mmm you heard

babydoll: er

fucking fucking bitch: shhh just let them work it out

babydoll: but

pixie lover: shh the crazy bitch is right

Helena: im gonna ride you like a squid

Squidward: um

fucking fucking bitch: do it

Helena: come n be my personal post it

Squidward: help please maybe someone anyone

pixie lover changed Helena to lush squid rider

Squidward: thats not help

pixie lover: its helping me

Squidward: im actually really scared now

babydoll: dammit i spat pop tart again

pixie lover: fuck sake i spent hours cleaning that piece o shit

babydoll: sorry jake

fucking fucking bitch: just as well youve got cute going for you

babydoll: true

pixie lover: yeah i guess

Leon: this is like a disney romance

Boulderfield: you right

Boulderfield: you should double date

Leon: yeah double date

lush squid rider: dont you fuckin dare start with the disney again

pixie lover: o shit shes sobering up

Squidward: thank fucking god

Leon: lemme sing for you helena like before

Leon: help you sober up faster

lush squid rider: it fuckin wont

Leon: no seriously it works they did tests

fucking fucking bitch: they do tests on you leon

Leon: yeh but thats a story for another day

lush squid rider: get the fuck away from me

Leon: come here im not done

lush squid rider: nooooooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada

lush squid rider: Helena


Leon: :<

Leon: that was uncalled for helena

Leon: i am very upset with you

pixie lover: what are you a fuckin teacher

pixie lover: with the finger wagglin an shit

fucking fucking bitch: how would you know

pixie lover: shut up i went to school

Boulderfield: between the murder or the family funeral

babydoll: oh my god chris thats not okay

Squidward: but everything else up to now is

babydoll: thats going too far though

fucking fucking bitch: theyre right

fucking fucking bitch: were so alike my rock loving sweetie

Boulderfield: fuck off we are not

lush squid rider: leon you started it okay

lush squid rider: pls somebody change this stupid name

pixie lover: nah it suits you

Squidward: im gonna need therapy

lush squid rider: hey its not like i was in my right mind

lush squid rider: and my god you really know how to compliment a woman

Squidward: i didnt mean it like that

Squidward: also you were drunk

Leon: shes still drunk

lush squid rider: not so much

lush squid rider: the buzz is going

lush squid rider: this is worse than that time at college

fucking fucking bitch: ooo more stories

lush squid rider: fuckin no more

pixie lover: booooooo gimme more dirt

babydoll: you starting a gossip lounge

Squidward: a wat

Boulderfield changed fucking fucking bitch to Carla Radames

lush squid rider: fuck you i meant my name

Carla Radames: hmmmmmmmmmmm

Boulderfield: you ponderin death bitch

Carla Radames: no murder

Leon: muuuuurrrrderrrr <3

lush squid rider: leon hearts there are creepy

pixie lover: deffo wants you carla

Carla Radames: mever

Leon: mever <3

pixie lover: im never living that down

babydoll: you got that right

Squidward: keep putting hearts at the end of everything leon

Leon: kay <3

lush squid rider: pls no stop

Leon: mever <3

lush squid rider: pls i beg

Leon: <3 <3 <3

Boulderfield: motherfuckin manchild

Carla Radames: please make that his name

babydoll: nooooo be nice to him

lush squid rider: mever

Carla Radames: mever

Boulderfield: mever

pixie lover: mever

Squidward: just call this group mever sherry

babydoll: gaspo

pixie lover: o shit we went too far

Carla Radames: theres no such thing ;)

Leon: <3

lush squid rider: stahp

Carla Radames: wait sherry dear

babydoll: yeah

Carla Radames: did you return jakey jake his admin priviledges

pixie lover: god fuckin damn

babydoll: i did but now i regret

babydoll: cause i know whats coming

pixie lover changed Leon to motherfuckin manchild

motherfuckin manchild: im sad now

motherfuckin manchild: im gonna go watch more disney

babydoll: which one this time

lush squid rider: no stop him

lush squid rider: pls think of my liver

pixie lover: fuck you mever

lush squid rider: to the airlock

motherfuckin manchild: its aladdin this time

Boulderfield: fuck me in the ass

Carla Radames: reverse that and yes

Boulderfield: ew

motherfuckin manchild: ada no

pixie lover: ada yes

babydoll: jake

Squidward: im still scared

lush squid rider: me too

Boulderfield: make it a triple airlock jump

motherfuckin manchild: can i jump too

lush squid rider: fuck you this is to fucking get away from your disney fuckin ass

pixie lover: dayum helena you know words

Carla Radames: a rare quality in this group

pixie lover: oh go suck boulders dick

Carla Radames: yes sir

Boulderfield: dont you even dare joke she probs could get on this plane

Carla Radames: you assume i haven’t already

Boulderfield: o shit

Squidward: ugh

motherfuckin manchild: wait are you ada or carla now

motherfuckin manchild: also are you still a ghost

Squidward: christ

lush squid rider: thats it everyone out the fucking airlock im done

babydoll: wait we didn’t establish why leons upset with helena

lush squid rider: DONE

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

lush squid rider: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon


babydoll: everybody cooled off

babydoll: no more airlock attempts

pixie lover: nope

lush squid rider: no i promise

Squidward: ugh

Carla Radames: only for fun and not death

motherfuckin manchild: me too

babydoll: dammit ada sometimes

babydoll: leon no its bad for your health

motherfucking manchild: aw okay

Boulderfield: not interested no

pixie lover: your fat abs fit out the airlock bud

Boulderfield: shut the fuck up baldy

Boulderfield: im not fat

Squidward: yeah its pure muscle

Squidward: have you not been listening

Squidward: its how he punches boulders

motherfuckin manchild: you ever punched the moon

Boulderfield: asshole

Boulderfield: shut up leon

Carla Radames: asshole you say

Boulderfield: ill kill you same way as wesker

Squidward: nice chris

motherfuckin manchild: volcano

lush squid rider: yep

motherfuckin manchild: i dont want that

Boulderfield: then shut up about rocks

motherfucking manchild: all rocks or just boulders and the moon

Boulderfield: all rocks

pixie lover: pretend i didnt hear any o that

pixie lover: okay so you aint fat

pixie lover: helenas the fat one

babydoll: jake

Carla Radames: ouch

lush squid rider: excuse

pixie lover: youre excused

pixie lover: hey leon you break your arms hurlin that fatass across gaps

motherfuckin manchild: no im strong

Carla Radames: big strong boy

motherfuckin manchild: :>

babyroll: stop encouraging him or hell start coming onto you

Carla Radames: you right

lush squid rider: you get over fighting with squidward that you need to come at me

Squidward: piers

lush squid rider: whatever

Carla Radames: this is what romance feels like piers so get used to it

Squidward: i wish i could disagree

pixie lover: yeh bitch i fight you

pixie lover: that jellyass is no challenge

Squidward: i could snipe your gm ass from fifty feet away

pixie lover: before the rubber arm douchebag maybe

motherfuckin manchild: is he like the wacky inflatable arm thing

babydoll: pffft

Squidward: i take back my airlock statement

babydoll: you cant you promised

Squidward: before you laughed

babydoll: i take back my laugh

Squidward: hmmm

babydoll: please dont airlock die on me

Boulderfield: you shoulda said that so long ago sherry

Squidward: you asked nicely so okay

babydoll: thank you

lush squid rider: huh i feel like my battle was too short lived

pixie lover: fatass

lush squid rider: there we go thank you

Boulderfield: why dont you grow your hair out baldy

lush squid rider: well okay never mind

pixie lover: fuck you i like it short

Carla Radames: as does sherry

pixie lover: yeah

pixie lover: i mean

pixie lover: fuckin goddammit woman

Carla Radames: ;)

babydoll: i do like it

babydoll: wonder how youd look with other styles though

pixie lover: what kinda styles

babydoll: like if you grew it out

babydoll: long sorta

pixie lover: wait thats the opposite of what i have now

pixie lover: you love me as i am or not

babydoll: i do but im curious jakey jake

pixie lover: fine

Boulderfield: yeah grow it out and look more like your dad

pixie lover: you piece o shit

Squidward: chris no thats just broadcasting the crazy

Boulderfield: true he doesnt need it

lush squid rider: too much context

motherfuckin manchild: afro

babydoll: oh my god yes

pixie lover: no

babydoll: pleeeeeeeeeease sweetie

pixie lover: fuck no

babydoll: ill do stuff for you

Carla Radames: atta girl

pixie lover: fine ill think about it

Carla Radames: excellent

lush squid rider: my god you are carla

motherfuckin manchild: :< no

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

lush squid rider: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon


motherfuckin manchild: panda

pixie lover: the fuck you talkin about

motherfuckin manchild: we need a subject change

motherfuckin manchild: so changing subject

motherfuckin manchild: but also the panda

Boulderfield: wat

babydoll: please explain leon were all confused

Carla Radames: very

Squidward: wait you mean the one in china

Squidward: the kiddie ride

motherfuckin manchild: yeah that one

Boulderfield: oh

pixie lover: how dafuq you figure that out

Squidward: whale magic

motherfuckin manchild: whale magic

motherfuckin manchild: you know i speak whale

lush squid rider: knock it off quoting finding nemo

babydoll: oh my god thats such a good film

pixie lover: the first fifty times maybe

Squidward: that ride i couldnt get chris off

Boulderfield: shut the fuck up

Squidward: oh right we agreed not to talk about it

Boulderfield: i hate you

Carla Radames: why do you bring up the panda leon

motherfuckin manchild: wanna know if anyone else rides it

Squidward: huh

Squidward: thought it was just us

lush squid rider: nope unfortunately

lush squid rider: you have no idea how hard it was to get him off the damn thing

Carla Radames: thats what she said

pixie lover: same with sherry

babydoll: hey its fun

Boulderfield: can see why you and leon are friends

lush squid rider: they get along great and everyone suffers

babydoll: mean

pixie lover: everyone rode the stupid fuckin panda okay

Carla Radames: you ride it together boy

babydoll: we did

motherfuckin manchild: did you sing

pixie lover: no

babydoll: gasp

babydoll: we totally shouldve sung whole new world

motherfuckin manchild: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

Boulderfield: jesus christ

Squidward: are you two actually watching disney now

babydoll: no but i want to

motherfuckin manchild: i plan to

babydoll: streeeeeeeeeeam and invite meeeeeeeeeee

lush squid rider: are you high

lush squid rider: because ill go back to the bar

Boulderfield: you an me both

Squidward: alcohol is not the answer

Carla Radames: youre wrong

Squidward: and neither is disney

Carla Radames: youre wrong

Squidward: i give up

Carla Radames: wise

babydoll: what disney are you watching now

motherfuckin manchild: bolt

Boulderfield: oh yeah that looks like piers

Squidward: fuck you

pixie lover: you stick your head out the car window

babydoll: oh he kinda does

babydoll: thats adorable

pixie lover: sherry wat

Carla Radames: youre losing her boy

Carla Radames: get back on the rocking panda

babydoll: yessss

pixie lover: fuck no

pixie lover: thats not adorable sherry

pixie lover: so he looks like a dunk

Boulderfield: the fuck is a dunk

lush squid rider: turn off the spellcheck

lush squid rider: turn off the autocorrect

pixie lover: i fuckin cant

lush squid rider: turn off everything

pixie lover: i caaaaaaaaaaaaaant

babydoll: keyboards not been right since the poptarts

Boulderfield: you already made it to the bar

lush squid rider: yep

Squidward: helena no

Carla Radames: youre scared of getting a hard on

Squidward: i am not

babydoll: lets invite claire

motherfuckin manchild: yas

Squidward: sounds good

Boulderfield: get the fuck away from my sis

Squidward: what

Boulderfield: fuckin creep i say no

Squidward: i just said it sounded good

Carla Radames: watch him hes trying for a threesome

Squidward: i am not i swear

lush squid rider: orgy sounds good right about now

babydoll: helena please get away from the bar

lush squid rider: no i want the good stuff

motherfuckin manchild: come watch bolt

motherfuckin manchild: that counts as an orgy right

Carla Radames: you are so precious sometimes

Boulderfield: wait you wanna get fucked by him or not

Carla Radames: my heart is torn

pixie lover: oh just get it over with ada

lush squid rider: distract him and get him away from the disney

lush squid rider: do this for me and ill stay away from the bar

Carla Radames: how much

lush squid rider: what

Carla Radames: how much to distract leon

babydoll: oh my god

motherfuckin manchild: whats happening to me

Carla Radames: its called manhood

Squidward: christmas is coming early

Carla Radames: and so are you

Squidward: sigh

Boulderfield: whatever the fuck you people are doing

Boulderfield: orgy and or disney

Boulderfield: you keep my sis outta it

Squidward: no promises

Boulderfield: FUCKIN

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

lush squid rider: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon


babydoll: i made finger puppets

Squidward: is this for therapy

babydoll: mean

Squidward: im not being mean im genuinely curious

babydoll: oh okay

babydoll: its my desperate attempt to make you all get along

Carla Radames: only you and jake are capable of getting along

Carla Radames: if you know what i mean

Boulderfield: everybody knows

Boulderfield: everybody always knows

motherfuckin manchild: i dont

Squidward: is he finally self aware

lush squid rider: yes

lush squid rider: at least about this much

motherfuckin manchild: i am like skynet

pixie lover: good fuckin golly would you shut the fuck up

Boulderfield: good golly

motherfuckin manchild: miss molly

Boulderfield: the fuckety fuck

Squidward: helena can i call someone for your problem

lush squid rider: no one can help me

lush squid rider: you can stop all the viruses in the world but not leon

lush squid rider: the power of leon is unstoppable

motherfuckin manchild: tru

Carla Radames: karaoke

babydoll: we should have a karaoke night

pixie lover: no

babydoll: aw

pixie lover: now gimme the puppet o you

babydoll: why me

Carla Radames: for the snuggles

pixie lover: yeah okay

pixie lover: i admit im going to snuggle the damn thing

lush squid rider: about time

babydoll: mwah

babydoll: okay here

babydoll: <3

pixie lover: <3

motherfuckin manchild: its beautiful

Carla Radames: with beautiful children

Boulderfield: cause we need more gm babies

Squidward: keep an eye on your kid

babydoll: babies

babydoll: oh god jake isnt breathing now

babydoll: you assholes

lush squid rider: jake have some drink

lush squid rider: drink problems away

motherfuckin manchild: heimlich

Carla Radames: mouth to mouth

Boulderfield: mouth to ass

Squidward: theres no mouth jake is just a giant ass

babydoll: stop pls all of you im worried about jake

Carla Radames: try mouth to mouth sweetie

babydoll: okay

motherfuckin manchild: you have a medic on the plane

Boulderfield: holy fuckin christ he had a moment of brilliance

Squidward: we should celebrate

lush squid rider: with drink

Squidward: in this case yes

Boulderfield: you fuckin asshole tellin me not to drink and then she can and being a goddamn hypocrite

Squidward: oh explode your biceps somewhere else

lush squid rider: pffft

Carla Radames: i would pay to see that

Boulderfield: you mean you spend your dollars on other stuff

Boulderfield: not just outfits

Squidward: food stamps

Carla Radames: i would not put it past my bosses to pay me in food stamps

Boulderfield: umbrella food stamps

Squidward: wasnt that what you used when you started the bsaa

Boulderfield: sounds bout right

Squidward: you and jill didnt even seem to pay me in that

Carla Radames: did jill pay you in sexual favours

Squidward: er

Boulderfield: BONER

Squidward: shut up

lush squid rider: is your boner blushing

Squidward: euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

lush squid rider: that is a yes

Boulderfield: second

pixie lover: shit fuck i am back

pixie lover: the fuck i got saved by sherry and leons advice

pixie lover: wat is logic

Carla Radames: kiss of life

babydoll: ada pls

Carla Radames changed pixie lover to Snow White

Snow White: you piece o shit

babydoll: pffft

Snow White: sherry

babydoll: sorry

motherfuckin manchild: are we the seven dwarves

lush squid rider: stop with all the disney

babydoll: we dont have seven

babydoll: whos our seventh

Squidward: claire

Boulderfield: i will melt your face off with the planes engines

Squidward: okay then jill

Boulderfield: you want to make love to fire cause ill arrange that

Carla Radames: we need to dig up wesker

motherfuckin manchild: i feel like hes never dead

lush squid rider: yes he is a ghost too

motherfuckin manchild: my goodness everyone is a ghost today

Boulderfield: the fuck you mean today

Squidward: temporary ghosts

motherfuckin manchild: yes

Carla Radames: we need to find the volcano

Carla Radames: bring back wesker as our seventh

Snow White: i fuckin hate living why did you save me sherry

babydoll: so you can snuggle my finger puppet

Snow White: oh yeah

Snow White: gimme

Snow White: <3

babydoll: <3

motherfuckin manchild: so children

babydoll: fuck not again

babydoll: dammit leon

motherfuckin manchild: :>