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Your Eyes Are Like Starlight Now

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Marilyn never thought she could get sick of upbeat tunes.  

“I really can’t stay-” 

Despite herself, she joins in for the second line under her breath.  

Baby it’s cold outside.’  

Every since she stepped out of that damn vault more or less, her Pip-Boy has been picking up the various radio signals in the immediate vicinity.  At first, finding Diamond City radio had been a relief, a break from the classical tunes that were being thrown out on the other closest radio but now she was kind of sick of it.  

Adding to her painshe felt like her feet were going to fall off.  She’d been walking for hours it felt like.  Even though she hadn’t checked the overgrown wrist watch for the time, she had the sneaking suspicion she was right.  The sun had been high in the sky that morning but now it was settling low down ahead of them and far away.  

She had no choice but to keep moving.  She was still learning this new, post nucular war world but she knew for a damn fact it would be suicide to stop in the dark.  Those feral ghouls seemed to come from nowhere and attack her or worse:  One of those death claw things she’d seen back in Corncord.  At least back there she’d had help from Preston and a suit of power armour.  Out here dressed in a worn coat shirt and pants over her blue suit she was all but defenseless.  

She reached to her back to check if the laser musket was still attached.  She liked to be sure, out here in the wastes.  She had the feeling if she lost it then she’d never see it again.  Then what would she do?  What good was her shitty little pistol compared to a giant irradiated iguana?  

‘The neighbors might think’ 
Baby it’s bad out there-” 

She murmuredtaking pains to avoid stepping in a puddle.  It was bad out here.  Worse then it could ever have been back before the great war.  The fact that her children are out in this worries her more than she can put into words.  

Simon must be terrified.  He hated guns and scary things.  Not to mention he was just a little boy.  He’d be a walking target for any monsterhuman or otherwise, that happened to see him.  She could only hope that when Marshall got out, he went to find him.  She liked to think she knew her son, and she knew he would never leave anyone behind.  

It took them less than a minute to shoot Edgar.  

‘I've gotta get home!
but baby, you'd freeze out there’

His crime?  Trying to protect his kids.  

When she unfroze, for just that moment in time, to watch them try to rip Simon from Edgar’s arms where he was safe she hadn’t felt anything other than fear.  Hadn’t had time to.  But now?  Now she felt sorrow.  She knew logically that it was because she hadn't taken the time to properly grieve for him the way her body and mind demanded. There was more than one time she wanted to just stop and cry. She had loved him. God Damn it all she had loved him. In fact, she still loved him. Just because he wasn't here with her didn't mean that she'd stopped. Funny, wasn't it? The man fought in a war, repairing Things Inc power armor only to be shot and killed in the one place, the only place he should have been safe. 

During the war, she would write letter after letter to him. Most of them she scrapped because they read more like prayers for his safe return than actual letters to him. He was her other half. Her person. The one person in the whole world who understood her desire to change pathways and learn new things. Who stood by her when she abandoned a law degree for party planning. Who stood by her unconditionally. She worried about him constantly when he was gone. She still worries about him, but it's for other reasons now. 

Her only consolation was knowing that Marshall, Syndi and Dash escaped. When she woke up and saw their pods had been manually overridden, she knew. A mother knows. One of them made it out. If it was with Simon or later she had no way of knowing, but at least they were out. 

Being cryogenically frozen against ones will is trauma enough for ten people, but to have no idea where the remains of your family are? That was somehow much worse. Suddenly, she couldn’t stand to listen to the music she used to listen too with Edgar anymore. She turned the Pip-Boy toward her face and turned the radio off.