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Magical Girl Pretty☆Executioner

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“Show me all your love! Magical Kiss~!”

The international best-selling pop idol Magic Alice sang with one last wink at the audience before stepping offstage, her latest concert coming to a close. Her (mostly male) fans cheered and applauded as she gave them a friendly wave goodbye, disappearing from their sight.

“God damn, I thought that would never end…” She thought to herself, a bit of a contrast to the image she was showing the public.

“Hey, good work, Alice!” Someone praised her as she walked to her dressing room, to which a sickly-sweet smile was her response.

She passed more concert staff as she walked, smiling innocently at them all. She was used to acting in such a manner at this point, but when she finally got to her dressing room, she quickly locked the door.

“Fuck me, I hate this job,” She complained to the empty room, undoing her suffocating dress and taking a swig from a water bottle as she flopped onto the nearest sofa.

Alice was known worldwide as a beautiful, friendly singing sensation, but in reality, she despised both her career and her fans. At one point, she had always wanted to be an idol like this, but after seven years in the gruelling and often-toxic industry, she had become jaded to the whole thing. She wanted to retire, but she couldn’t – the business had maintained a fierce vice-grip on her for a long time.

“God, those fucking morons, squealing at me like pigs…” She put a hand to her forehead as if nursing her headache. “At least I managed to get outta that dumbass handshake event; who’d wanna touch those things? Gimme some kinda release, damnit…”

“Perhaps I could help with that,” A cutesy, effeminate voice spoke next to her ear, causing her to jump up suddenly and frantically look around the room to find its owner.

“H-huh?! Who the fuck…” She looked to her side and saw a bizarre sight that caused her to trail off.

It was a small white rabbit, pure as snow. But it wasn’t standing there – it was floating . And then, as if that wasn’t enough, it started talking to her.

“Greetings, Alice,” The rabbit’s ears twitched as it spoke to her. “My name is Mimimi.”

“…Eh?” Alice just stared at the thing. “Holy shit, I’m tripping again, aren’t I? Don’t tell me that skeevy-ass producer slipped me a roofie…”

“Oh, I assure you, this is no ‘trip’,” Mimimi shook her head. “I come from the Alterworld, and I have a task for you, miss.”

“Alterworld? Task? Miss? ” Alice was dumbfounded by this whole situation. “Am I supposed to know what all this bullshit you’re spouting even means?”

“My apologies,” Mimimi’s ears drooped in a manner most would find rather cute. “The Alterworld is another dimension parallel to this one, where we ‘Angels’ are battling the fearsome ‘Demons’. But recently, due to unforeseen circumstances, our battle – or rather, our war – has leaked across into this world, causing all manner of havoc all over the world. You may have heard of some horrible deaths on the news… Every last one of them is an unfortunate casualty of our ongoing conflict.”

“Wait, wait…” Alice held up her hand. “I don’t really get it all, but if those deaths are caused by your war, doesn’t it mean they’re kinda your fault?”

“W-well, um, yes, I suppose so…” Mimimi stuttered, clearly feeling some guilt. “But we Angels always make an effort to prevent collateral, whereas those vile Demons are perfectly happy with killing innocents in order to get what they want.”

“Okay, sure,” Alice just shrugged it off. “But what are you telling me all this shit for? There’s gotta be a reason, right?”

“Why, that’s simple,” Mimimi perked up, her ears twitching some more. “I want to enlist your help, of course. I’d like you to become a magical girl in order to help us fight against the Demons!”

“Huh?!” Alice fought back the urge to grab the rabbit by the neck. “A fucking magical girl?! You want me to be one of those dumbass pansies?”

“Pansies?” Mimimi looked surprised that someone would think that. “I assure you, magical girls are no pansies – if you have any genre awareness at all, you should already be aware of the fact that magical girls are incredibly strong. Should you take up my offer to become one of them, you will gain power equal to the most powerful of military forces, and you will be able to use it to your heart’s content. Does that not sound like a good ‘release’?”

“That much power, huh…?” With all the stress being a pop idol was giving her, Alice did think being able to do something as crazy as that would be a good form of release. “Alright, fuck it, I’ll give it a shot.”

“You will?” Mimimi’s eyes appeared to light up in delight and her tone of voice showed clear excitement. “That’s excellent news! I’ll get you set up right here and now!”

“Uh, sure, go ahead…” Alice watched as Mimimi glowed pink, quickly producing a small heart-shaped ruby pendant out of thin air.

“This pendant is yours,” The rabbit said as the piece of jewellery slowly levitated into Alice’s hand. “Simply grip it tightly, clearly shout the magic word ‘HENSHIN!’, and you will transform into a magical girl to destroy all enemies who dare stand in your way.”

“I really gotta shout a dumbass word like that?” Alice glared, but gripped the pendant in her hand anyway. “Fine, then… HENSHIN !”

As she spoke this mysterious foreign-sounding word, the pendant slipped out of her hand and a pink glow enveloped her entire body. She felt her clothes melt away, leaving her naked just long enough for it to be a little awkward. Then, she felt new clothing seemingly paste itself onto her body, from her toes to her hair, and the light dissipated in one little flourish.

Alice looked at her new outfit in the conveniently-positioned mirror in front of her. She now wore a frilly dress patterned in pink and white, with a white bow in her long hair (which had turned pastel-pink) and gold high-heels on her feet. The pendant was now around her neck, covered up by the bust area of her dress. She certainly looked like a magical girl… That, or some kind of fairy-tale princess.

“Holy shit , this is girly…” She remarked, while trying to figure out where her original clothing might have disappeared to.

“That it may be,” Mimimi agreed. “I must admit, it… doesn’t fit your true personality very well, but I can guarantee you that your powers will, as they are based on your emotions and mental patterns.”

“Right… How do I use ‘em, then?” Alice asked, hoping for something cool.

“You simply need to think about doing so, and then you will,” Mimimi replied. “Try thinking to yourself, ‘I want to use my powers’, or something along those lines.”

“Gotcha,” Alice followed the rabbit’s instructions, and it didn’t take long for something to happen. Or rather… for something to appear .

In the idol’s hand was the last thing one would expect to see in an idol’s hand – a standard-issue handgun, coloured in a garish pink. Her powers had allowed her to summon a gun out of thin air, and while it was a bit of a silly colour, it was no less of a deadly weapon.

“A… gun?” Mimimi’s eyes seemed to widen, but she could hardly say that she was surprised. “I see… Given your attitude, such a weapon does make sense… Well, that could certainly come in handy against the Demons.”

“Oh, fuck yeah… Always wanted to use one of these bad boys,” Alice grinned as she inspected the weapon in her hand, before easily summoning another one for her other hand. “Heh, guess dual-wielding is an option too. Neat.”

“I see you’re… quite satisfied,” Mimimi noted, tilting her head slightly as she briefly questioned Alice’s mental state. “Well then, how would you like to test your new powers on some Demons?” She asked, shaking off her concerned thoughts.

“I’d fucking love to,” Alice smirked as she pointed the guns at the mirror, before firing them both at once and shattering it into a million pieces.