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Blaine Andersnow

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Kurt hadn’t been expecting the cameras.

All the seniors at Parsons got together in central park after the first big snowfall of the year to have a snowman making contest. All the design students likes to blow off steam and design something fun instead of stressful for a change. It was a tradition as old as the school itself, or so the legend went.

Kurt had been looking forward to it since he was a Freshman, doing practice snowmen and making sketches to make sure he had the best snowman of his class. Now that the moment was here, he wasn’t disappointed. He had his tools, his props, the snow was the perfect consistency. Everything was going as planned.

But who invited the news cameras?

“Thanks, Bob. I’m here in Central Park with Jack Califano, alumnus and guest judge for this snowman competition. Well, Jack, do we have a winner?”

This skinny hipster looking guy with the longest eyelashes Kurt had ever seen smiled dorkily at the camera. “We do!” He bounced a little on his knees. Kurt would find him cute if he’s never spoken to him. “The winner of this year’s senior snowman competition is Kurt Hummel!”

Kurt blinked, feeling dully as his friends and classmates patted him on the shoulders.

He was happy to have won but, welp, the camera was on him now.

“Congratulations, Kurt Hummel! Is this your snowman?”

Kurt nodded, pulling himself together with a grin. “Thank you, and yes! This is Blaine Andersnow.”

Jack and the reporter both laughed, indulgently. “Well, what a name! No question as to who the inspiration was.”

Kurt nodded but explained anyway. “Yeah, well I’m a design student. I couldn’t afford Anderson’s actual merchandise but I got the equipment and hockey sweater secondhand and then hand embroidered it.”

Jack whistled. The reporter laughed. “Impressive! Why Anderson, though? Your hockey snowman is impressive but why a specific player?”

Kurt crossed his arms self consciously but raised his chin defiantly to compensate. “Well I had to do a Rangers player, obviously. And have you ever seen a Rangers game?”

The reporter nodded understandingly. “Yes he is a rather imposing athlete.”

Kurt nodded back, smirking. “Well yeah, but I meant he’s got the best ass in the NHL.”

Jack choked and the reporter looked like she was close as well. She cleared her throat instead and continued. “Well, Mr. Hummel, it does seem to have payed off. Congratulations on your bragging rights.”

“Thank you, again.” Kurt beamed, winking into the camera.


“Ayo, Anders!”

Blaine turned, stick tape in his hand. “What’s up?”

Sam jogged up to him, positively grinning. “You see this?”

He held out his phone, a news clip on the screen. Blaine looked up at his friend, eyebrows raised in question.

Sam’s grin widened. “Watch.”

Sam pressed play where a reporter was standing with her microphone to one of the most beautiful men Blaine had ever seen.

“Congratulations, Kurt Hummel! Is this your snowman?”

The Most Beautiful Man Blaine Had Ever Seen nodded before smiling and turning out to gesture to a snowman behind him. “Thank you, and yes! This is Blaine Andersnow.”

Blaine startled out a laugh, looking at the snowman in earnest. That was Blaine’s uniform and there was clearly stylized sculpting of his signature curls in the snow.

Sam grinned again, shushing him. “Just wait, it gets better.”

“Yes he is a rather imposing athlete.” The reporter said, knowingly.

The Most Beautiful Man Blaine Had Ever Seen got this smile that made Blaine’s heart quicken. “Well yeah, but I meant he’s got the best ass in the NHL.”

Sam busted up laughing. Blaine blushed bright red

“Uh,” Blaine chuckles nervously, giving Sam his phone back. “What was that guy’s name again?”

Blaine Anderson @RangersBlaine

Thanks, @khummel for such a flattering interview! I always thought Lubul had the best ass but he doesn’t have a snowman, does he? Ha! #BlaineAndersnow #heyKurtcallme


Kurt was pretty sure that the hashtag ‘Hey Kurt, call me’ was a joke.

But Kurt still sent a DM.


Kurt Hummel @khummel

How to get a date with your crush who happens to be a professional athlete:

  1. Make a snowman out of him
  2. Compliment his ass


End of list.