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Through his phone- Neville

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Chat: Harry

07.45

You know the drill.

So do you.

Try not to spill my brain juice somewhere.

07.50

It’s so weird when you call coffee that.

Doncha worry

Got a lid that fits perfectly this time.

 

Chat: Blaise

08.50

This is so boring please save me

I wish I could

But wouldn’t you rather save yourself, my war hero?

08.53

You kill one (1) giant magical snake who happens to contain 1/8 of the soul of the second most evil wizard Britain has ever seen

And now everyone expects you to not fall asleep during a philosophy class

I thought you liked philosophy!

08.55

When the professor doesn’t just robotically read out loud from his dull powerpoint presentation.

Flash News Asshole! We can see the info right there.

08.56

Honestly I don’t need to listen to how Hegel died on November 14th 1831 in Berlin

JUST TELL ME ABOUT ONE OF THE THOUSANDS OF SHITS I NEED TO KNOW.

08.58

Relax, Darling. It will get better.

I never thought I’d say this but sometimes I miss Snape.

AT LEAST HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS TEACHING

Even if his methods were completely and utterly wrong and he should’ve never been able to gain the position.

Thank Godric for Minerva McGonagall

09.01

Thank Salazar and Merlin for Minerva McGonagall.

And try to remember that Dumbledore was doing what he thought was best back then.

As if.

09.15

By the way, did Harry mention something to you?

09.17

Like what?

Double date?

09.20

No.

I just need to know if Draco told him something I said a few nights ago.

When we and Pansy went out drinking.

09.22

What did you say?

09.23

I don’t recall.

My memory is foggy.

09.24

You’re using punctuation

Cause I am a well read and fine man

09.25

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAID!

09.27

Tell me!!!

09.34

All right. Imma ask Harry.

Darling, please don’t.

09.35

FINE MAN MY ASS!

Your ass is quite fine I’d say.

Cut the crap.

You’re so dead!

09.38

You know I have absolutely no control over what I say under the influence of muggle alcohols, love.

09.40

Oh My Fucking Godric

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me

09.41

I thought living in the straightest possible dormitory in all Hogwarts was the worst thing that had ever happened to you.

09.43

  1. There was nothing straight about our dormitory, even the pictures hanged crookedly on the walls.
  2. The worst thing that ever happened to me would be going on a date with you, Zabini.

09.45

You wound me, darling.

Also, about gay dormitories. I had to live with Malfoy.

I know.

Sometimes Harry complains about it as well

Said once that he would’ve rather perished to Voldemort, instead of having to follow another one of Draco’s extravaganza.

09.48

I am surprised that man knows such words.

I never understand the reason behind his and Draco’s relationship, sometimes.

One is so poised and well mannered

The Other’s a bloody Gryffindor

09.49

Be careful with your words.

Remember which house I’m from.

Your grandma’s. You lived there.

09.50

You fucking Slytherins annoy me very much

10.00

Lecture’s fucking over. THANK GODRIC

Now let’s get back to the main argument.

Harry said Draco told him that he was shocked about me.

THE FUCK YOU TOLD DRACO

10.02

Aren’t you worried about Pansy as well?

That snake knows how to keep her mouth shut.

Malfoy doesn’t.

Seriously B.

10.05

Please tell me you didn’t tell him what we did last week.

10.10

You mean

What you insisted on us doing.

Not that I disapproved.

10.12

It’s rather charming being magically tied up by your heroic and well hung boyfriend.

10.15

You have blocked this user.

Chat: Harry

10.15

I’m gonna kill him

10.17

Shovel’s ready.

Or if you want you can use it as dinner for Saphira

10.20

He would cause her indigestion and then Hermione would definitely kill me

10.23

She hasn’t killed anyone of us yet

I think you’re safe

10.24

Didn’t you and Ron mention something about being completely and utterly terrified of her since first year?

Yup.

And yet you think we’re safe

10.25

I said You, Longbottom.

Me and Ron, we pray every night to Dumbledore’s soul that she doesn’t murder us.

10.30

Btw can we skip English?

No

Chat: Draco Malfoy

10.20

Longbottom

How dare you block my best friend?

10.25

I can see you read the text

Unblock Blaise now!

10.30

You have blocked this user.

 

Chat: Harry

10.31

You’re on a blocker spree?

Do you wanna be next?

10.32

You would never.

Especially since I’ve flirted with Math’s assistant

The guy or the girl?

The girl.

10.34

She’s like 40!

She got me last year’s papers.

And said that, if I promise not to pass it to anyone else, she’ll give me this year’s in advance

Before the test.

The test papers in advance.

10.35

I love you so much right now

You’re amazing

10.36

I am Harry Freaking Potter

You can bet your little ass I’m amazing!

10.39

You deserve this

I took places in the third to last row for English.

10.40

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

But seriously unblock Draco and Blaise cause they’re being a pain in my ass.

After class is over.

Deal.

Chat: Boys’ Dormitory

12.00

Seamus

Lunch everybody?

12.03

Ron

It’s anybody or anyone

You’re using it in a question

Harry

Hermione get off Ron’s phone!

12.04

Me and Harry finish class at 1pm

Where do you want to meet?

12.10

Seamus

1.15 at that Chinese place that also serves sushi?

12.11

Deal

Ron

Deal

Harry

Deal

12.12

Harry I answered for both of us.

Harry

Sorry

Dean

NO GIRLFRIENDS OR BOYFRIENDS

JUST US

Ron

Does this mean you come or Seamus does?

12.15

Seamus

Ron I swear I’m gonna make all your food explode

Children please

No fighting at the dinner table

Dean

But muuuuuuuuuum

Harry

We are Gryffindors

Fighting is all we’re good at!

12.20

Seamus

We have other positive traits, like loyalty and rage and a passion for breaking the rules

12.30

I miss the only days

Harry

You know, I never thought I’d say this

But today I missed professor Binns

TRUE

12.35

Dean

That bad lecture?

12.38

Harry

Horrible lecture

 

12.41

At least with Binns we could have fun in the meantime

This one just talks and tells us to shut up

Ron

You can always use magic to make things interesting

12.42

Harry

I used magic this morning to make it look like I was paying attention while I slept

12.43

Oh, right, I wanted to tell you @Harry

Ten years later and you still snore louder than a dragon.

Harry

Two words: Math paper

12.44

I apologize

Seamus

Damn Potter

Chat: Draco

13.01

You have unblocked this user.

13.02

Bitch.

 

Chat: Blaise

13.02

You have unblocked this user.

13.03

I’ll be home around six. Want to order pizza?

Nah, I’ll cook.

13.04

Wow.

I should guilt trip you more

13.06

Fuck off.

As you wish.

13.10

Are you having a proper decent meal for lunch?

You need to eat to maintain that stellar figure

Chinese with the boys

13.11

All right but don’t forget the vegetables!

Tell them I say hi

And also, Draco didn’t say anything crucial to Harry

13.12

Good

13.14

Otherwise I’d have to kill him

What is with you Gryffindors and murder?

What is with you Slytherins and not holding liquor?

13.15

Touché

See you later at home

Chat: Luna

15.18

I need to go to the botanical gardens tomorrow

Wanna come with me?

15.20

YES YES YES

15.25

Great! Pick me up at 9am please

Thank you

15.26

You’re coming with me, I should thank you

You’re taking me to see plants

I will forever be thankful for you taking me to see plants

15.28

Don’t forget the flowers!

How could I?

Chat: Boys’ Dormitory

16.00

Seamus

I just realized no one in our dormitory was/is straight.

What about @Ron?

16.02

Harry

He’d fuck Victor Krum any day

Ron

Hey! Not true!

16.04

Ron

Back in the day, sure. Now not anymore

16.05

Dean

We were five little queer guys

16.06

And we were roommates!

Dean

Oh my Godric we were roommates!

Seamus

And we all had a secret crush on one of Durmstrang’s boys!

16.08

 

I didn’t

16.10

Harry

I had a crush on Cedric

16.12

Dean

And I had one on one from Beaubatons

16.15

Ron

Out of curiosity

Who did you have a crush on from Durmstrang’s @Seamus?

16.20

Seamus

Forgot his name but his biceps were HUGE

Chat: Blaise

17.50

I’m coming home

You sure you don’t want pizza?

17.52

I’m sure

I want you.

17.55

Well, I am hungry so I’d rather eat properly first

That’s a shame really

Chat: Luna

22.00

Don’t forget nine o’clock

Goodnight.

22.10

I could never forget

See you later

‘night