It was almost midnight, said the clocked of Wonwoo’s hotel room, when he searched for the hour once more. At any moment, he’d burst through their door. Of course Wonwoo was sharing with him again. As if he could avoid it. He tried to focus on the little guy in his screen, who was struggling to survive in the WW2. No, damn, it was some post-apocalyptic city in the US. Jesus, he was all over the place.
His soldier turned a corner, ready to aim at the enemy, but instead blood splashed the screen and he was down. Dead. Again.
This was not his usual game performance. He was well aware what was bugging him, or rather who. Haunting his mind more than his clinginess in real life. It wasn’t something new either – it had always been there, tamed, since the day he understood what it meant, why he was different to Wonwoo from the other eleven.
But something had been unleashed, and Wonwoo’s chest was now wild, hyper aware of his presence, movements, and a thousand times more conscious of his constant touches.
Wonwoo suspected it was the missing that caused it. Maybe the jealousy. No, the missing. Certainly just the missing.
The problem was he didn't know what to do about it. After some reflection in the past days, he came up with three alternatives: forget about it and move on, act on it doing something safe, that wouldn't harm the group, or do nothing and drag his pinning forever. The first seemed impossible, the second a miracle, and the third torture. Time would choose for him, he guessed.
He was about to start a new match when the door was opened. He took a deep breath and pretended to be focusing on his screen.
Wonwoo looked at him, entering the room carrying his luggage. He seemed tired.
Jun put his luggage away and collapsed on the bed.
“Thanks for rooming with me this time. I don't know if I would have handle the others teasing me. God, I can wait for this to end.”
“Why would they tease you? It's almost over, isn't it?” For the past weeks, Jun and Minghao were combining their already insane comeback schedule with the recording of a reality show in China. It was great for Jun, but Wonwoo couldn’t stop missing him. “And you're already on the finals now. Congratulations, by the way.” Wonwoo turned to him, ignoring completely his laptop screen now.
“Yeah, thank you,” said Jun, heartlessly.
“For someone who basically overcome the impossible signing after losing his voice and achieved the best possible results you don't seem happy at all.”
Jun sat on the bed and looked right into his eyes.
“You know when something important has passed, and adrenalin gets down and then you can worry about the small things?”
“So, losing my voice could be fixed, my throat would eventually heal. Ok, we could be out of the program, I know. But the thing is, on the long run, the problem I can’t solve is stuck in my mind.”
Wonwoo frowned. He went through all information he had about Jun’s trip and tried to understand what the hell was wrong with his mind. And then it clicked.
“Oh. The chair thing.”
“Fucking Minghao. He told you guys everything already?”
“Yes, about the wall too.” Wonwoo chuckled. “How could he not tell everyone that you used a chair as a shield when a girl talked to you?”
Jun hide his face behind his hands.
“You don't have to worry. Here is a chair," he stood up and presented his own chair with both hands, "and here is a nice spot to you hug the wall.”
“Haha, very funny." He heard Jun’s unamused voice through his hands. Wonwoo let his arms fall and sat in the bed in front of him.
“You're just tired. Go to sleep, and tomorrow you'll see, this will look way smaller than it does now.”
Jun snorted sarcastically. It sounded so uncharacteristically of him that Wonwoo's eyebrows shot high. Now he was actually worried.
“I'm not going to wake up and don't be scared of girls anymore. If there's one thing this show taught me is that I have to face things, they don't just go away.”
“I see,” Wonwoo rested his hand on Jun's tight. “Do you think there is something I could do to help you?”
Jun laughed, sadly. His hands fall and he faced Wonwoo.
“Are you a girl I can practice with?”
"Do you mean kissing?" What the fuck Jeon Wonwoo. What the hell just happened? Why he said this?
“Are you offering?" The look in Jun's face was a mixture of incredulity and—was that hope?
Suddenly, Wonwoo realized this was the solution for the second scenario he considered. A fucking insane miracle.
"Yes, I'm offering,” he said, gathering all the courage he could find. “I think we could both benefit from it. It's not like I have tons of experience anyway." He smiled shyly, facing Jun and trying to hold himself and not panic.
The other boy just stared at him for a long time, mouth slightly opened. Wonwoo was starting to feel uneasy and about to freak out (Practice kissing your group mate? Are you crazy?).
“But if this is something you’re more comfortable doing with Yanan, I totally understand.”
“What Yanan has to do with it?!”
“I don’t know… You seemed to be getting really close to him. Last week you were really sad he could leave the show and all...”
“Oh my God, we’re just friends! Why would you think something else? You know what, no need to answer. I had too much drama already.” He pressed his fingers on his closed eyes and sighed. "I need to think about it. You're right, I'm really tired." He run his hand through his hair, sighing again. "I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. We have a full day tomorrow with the world tour."
“OK, yeah, take your time.”
When Jun had finished gathering his things to shower, Wonwoo was still on the bed, dumbfounded staring at the void. The closing door woke him up from his daydreaming. He laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Jun was going to considered kissing him – and not Yanan. He had found a way of getting closer to him without (technically) compromising their relationship, both friendship and professional. Maybe this was going to calm down his restless heart.
Or maybe it was just going to make it worst. But right now, he would just live in the present and enjoy it as much as he could.
He was still contemplating his odds when Jun got off the bathroom, hair already dried. He threw himself on Wonwoo's bed, nesting against him.
"Do you know when you're so tired you think you know you won't be able to sleep?"
“More than I wanted.”
“Can you help me sleep?”
“What do you mean? Wanna hear a story or something?” he asked doubtfully.
“No, silly. I just wanna sleep here. Do you mind?”
Wonwoo smiled at him, bringing him closer with his arm.
“Of course not. Good night, Junnie.”
Jun woke up before his alarm clock. Again. Apparently, his mind didn't want to rest. But his body wanted, so he didn't move. Even with his eyes closed, he could sense it was almost time to wake up by the sunshine passing through the curtains.
He suddenly realized he was not alone in the bed.
Little by little, the previous night came back to him. This was Wonwoo's bed. He had just invaded it without even asking. Why he keep doing things like that? Specifically after that offer.
God, the offer.
Had Wonwoo really offered kissing him? Jun retraced their conversation over and over. There was that weird thing about Yanan, but Wonwoo never said he was actually offering. Jun did.
He opened his eyes, trying to panic in silence, but the image waiting for him calmed down his heart.
Wonwoo slept peacefully, face relaxed and oblivious, mouth slightly opened. He was cute. And also very comfortable to be around. It was said they both were awkward, but apparently one’s awkwardness annulled the other’s. He liked to be around Wonwoo. It was easy.
And maybe that was why kissing him didn’t sound so weird.
Jun couldn’t really understand, but, against all the odds, it didn’t appeared to be a risky move. Although every logic in his brain said otherwise.
He was trying to understand why it seemed natural to accept the offer when he realized Wonwoo didn’t correct him – he’d agreed. And more than that, he didn't throw Jun off his bed later.
Maybe it felt natural to Wonwoo too. Jun should accept it.
He smiled, still facing Wonwoo.
He closed his eyes and tried to enjoy the last minutes before a busy day.
Much later the other day, they got back to their hotel room after a thrilling concert. They were tired and wide-awake at the same time, a combination that could lead to all sorts of outcomes, especially since they knew they had an early flight to catch in a few hours.
“Are you sleepy? Wanna play something?” Wonwoo asked Jun, already sitting in front of his laptop. During the whole day, they had both pretend nothing had happened the night before, even if Jun had to wake Wonwoo with tickles, which he only faked to hate. Wonwoo could feel there was something hanging between them, but preferred to give Jun space to give him an answer or just pretend the offer never happened.
“Not sleepy, no. But I don't wanna play either.”
“Ok,” he was a bit disappointed, although it was normal for them to do things separately when being roommates. But, as being aware of the other's movements wasn't bad enough, apparently he also needed to be close to him as well.
“No, I mean… I wanna do something else. With you.” Jun hesitated, biting his bottom lip. “I thought about your—humm, the offer. From last night.”
Wonwoo could swear Jun had quickly glanced at the spot on the wall he had pointed the day before. Unfortunately, this was the ultimate opposite moment to tease Jun about it. Also because he really wanted to hear the answer.
“Oh… I thought you had forgotten about it”
“I accept it.” The words came much quicker than expected, as if saying them as fast as possible their meaning would weigh less.
But it lingered in Wonwoo’s shocked silence.
“Are you sure?”
“Ok,” he thought about what he should do now, trying to focus on something practical. Hopefully his hands would sweat less. But Jun beat him by sitting on the bed in front of the laptop table. Wonwoo turn the chair to face him, but it wasn't right yet – they were still too far away.
He sat on his bed beside Jun, their knees touching.
Jun watched him hesitant, eyes wide and mouth slightly opened. As if realizing he was staring at Wonwoo, he cleared his throat and looked around, awkwardly.
“Do you wanna turn off the lights?”
“What exactly do you think I offered to practice?” asked Wonwoo, surprised and freaking out a little. He had to admit that although he wasn't opposed to the idea, he would need a bit more time to get ready to actually do it.
It took Jun a few seconds to understand what was implied.
“Oh, no, no! I was just… I thought… I'm… I'm just nervous, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—”
“Ok, ok, no need to freak out. It's me, it's not a girl remember? Stop looking at the chair. Look at me.”
Look at me. As Jun followed his command, Wonwoo couldn't decide whether he regretted saying the words. Brown eyes of a candid, beautiful face stared at him, making his chest contract, his lungs inspire and expire faster. He took Jun’s hand with his, and after some hesitant moments, leaned forward.
Jun’s eyes widened, but his gaze didn't wave. Wonwoo closed the distance between them.
When their lips touched, his free hand found Jun’s elbow, grabbing it tight to avoid holding the boy to never let him go again. After some seconds, Jun began to respond to his lips, and his hand also found Wonwoo’s elbow, but held it with much more intend. Their lips explored each other's, pressing intensively and nipping slightly. It was slow, tentative, and at the same time, hungry.
When they separated, Wonwoo didn't know what to expect. It had been way more intense than he would ever thought. The last thing he imagined, however, was Jun, eyes bearing a different shine, to kiss him again.
He was the one who had to recover now, but then he matched Jun’s desperation with his own. They were more adventurous, sometimes even involving some tongue, hands still holding each other's arms strongly.
But as it started, it ended. Suddenly, Jun got away of him as if burned, eyes even more wide and completely out of breath. Wonwoo didn't dare to move, and had no idea what to do. He was still catching his breath when Jun stood up abruptly.
“I have to go!” was all he said before storming the room, leaving behind a bewildered Wonwoo.
Jun thought none of his brain cells were working anymore. Actually, he was absolutely certain of it. In the corridor of the room he was sharing with Wonwoo, he looked at left and right, having no idea where to go, or where any of these paths lead. He chose left and walked as fast as he could.
He had just kissed Jeon Wonwoo. His group mate. Twice. And he knew why he had kissed him that second, unnecessary time. That was the problem.
It had felt too damn good to kiss Wonwoo.
Jun got to the door leading to the staircase. He entered, considering that at the moment it was his best option.
Sat on the stairs, head between his knees, and hands grabbing his hair, Jun still could hear his heartbeat, the tinkling on all his body, the feeling Wonwoo’s lips had left on his.
What to do, what to do, what to do…
After some reflection, which didn't bring him any understanding of what he was feeling, Jun realized it didn't matter. He would thank Wonwoo for the help and never think about it again. And probably also avoid him as much as possible.
What in hell he could do different from this anyway? It was the only logical behavior, and he really needed some logic after storming the room like that.
He faced the wall in front of him and breathed deeply to calm his heart.
Jun was a fool, indeed.
One step into the same space as Wonwoo, who was already sleeping when he got back, and his resolution vanished. He got ready to sleep and didn't even hesitate to go straight to Wonwoo’s bed, nestling against him once more, quickly falling asleep.
On the following days, he cracked his head trying to find a solution for a problem he didn’t even fathom to comprehend yet, which of course was leading him nowhere. He couldn’t figure what he was feeling, why he jumped each time Wonwoo looked at him, why it all seemed to be a terrible idea.
But what was it all? What did he really want?
Kiss him again. The answer run too easily into him mind. If only he could do just that, with no consequences. Imagine how many different kisses he could practice…
Jun stopped eating his third bag of snacks of the day, the answer to his problems widening his eyes.
People already said he was crazy, so a bit more craziness wouldn’t harm anyone. Right?
It had been a week since he and Jun had kissed, and it had been way better than Wonwoo ever imagined, but of course the problem was he had no idea (as usual) what the other was thinking. He had run away — just to come back and sleep with Wonwoo again. He wasn’t really complaining, but it’d be better to know what ‘practice’ actually meant.
Wonwoo would be glad to say nothing had changed between them, and maybe the other members hadn’t noticed anything, but unfortunately this wasn’t the case. Although Jun was not avoiding him, their interactions were weird — because not being able to avoid each other didn’t mean they still knew how to acknowledge one another.
Was that hug too long? Should I text him and see if he had a good flight to China? Why is he not answering me back? Should I ask at which time he arrives tomorrow?
Wonwoo had learned that staying awake almost until dawn trying to trick your mind gaming to stop running in circles was not a good option. Now he was alone and late for practice. Or maybe just late.
He was locking the door when he heard someone running down the stairs.
“Hey! You’re late too!”
It was Jun, coming from the dorm upstairs.
And in that moment, when Jun ignored the following stairs and slowly walked towards him, his heart beat with possibility, and Wonwoo realized that was the first time they were alone since they shared the hotel room.
“So… you may be wondering why I haven’t thank you yet.” Jun said, standing way too close, right hand finding the door behind Wonwoo’s head, eyes shining mischievous, face leaning forward. “And there is a reason for that. I was wondering, and there are several kinds of interactions with girls that really scary me.” He didn’t seem scared at all. Jun glanced at his parted lips. Wonwoo swallowed. “And several kinds of kisses.”
Jun’s lips were on his in a heartbeat. Even surprised, Wonwoo would never forget the slight sucking on his lips before they separated, the more than pleased look in Jun’s face in the seconds they just faced each other.
“This was a surprise kiss.” And then he run, saying “I bet I can get there faster than you!”, turning to smile at Wonwoo, and going down the stairs only when Wonwoo smiled back and followed him, his heart a little less anxious.
Wonwoo had always be fascinated by Jun’s unpredictability. His line of thought had intrigued him constantly, but nothing had prepared him for all the feelings it would bring on the following days.
Although he was kind of expecting more kisses, their schedule was pretty tight, which made it extremely difficult for them to be alone. It had been two days since their last kiss, and they barely haven’t stopped practicing (not kisses, unfortunately). Wonwoo was starting to think they wouldn’t have any other opportunity out of rooming together, when he felt Jun’s lips on his for the two seconds they were alone before the members entered the practice room.
His heart was hammering his chest, his eyes were wide, he was sweating, and furiously searching any kind of reaction in their faces. But, despite Jun’s smug face, he found nothing.
“Stolen kiss,” Jun informed him, half hour later when they got the chance to be close again.
He clearly had learned the difference between a surprise kiss and a stolen one. Definitely something had been robbed from him. Maybe his dignity. He blamed his body reaction to the fact he wasn’t anticipating the kiss. Surely if he knew it beforehand he wouldn’t be that affected.
He was obviously wrong.
The next day, it was almost three in the morning when he and Seungcheol stopped playing and he went to find his bed in the living room. He had just laid on when he got a text.
Can I kiss you goodnight?
Of course it was Jun. Of course his heart stopped and then he basically couldn’t feel his whole body anymore after replying OK, and wait, wait until Jun came from the dorm upstairs, and opened their door.
The lights still turned off, Jun slowly walked on his direction, only the moon lighting him. Wonwoo lifted himself from the bed a little, but Jun pushed him back on his pillow and sat by his bed.
“Aren’t you tired?” he asked softly, caressing Wonwoo’s hair.
“Why are you awake? How did you know I wasn’t sleeping?”
“I didn’t. I heard Seungcheol saying you guys had been playing until late these days. I took a shot. It hasn’t been easy to sleep lately,” he offered him a half smile, eyes and voice matching in tenderness. His fingers still were playing with Wonwoo’s hair, soothingly massaging his scalp and earning him a yawn. Jun chuckled.
“Ok, I’ll let you sleep then,” he leaned forward, his caressing fingers slipping to Wonwoo’s cheeks, their lips gently meeting each other’s. “Sleep well.”
Slumbering into sleep, a calm feeling taking his body, Wonwoo watched Jun leave, but his tender smile never left his dreams.
His heart was still warm when Jun dragged him into a bathroom the next morning.
“Ok, I think we have like five minutes. I wanna try something.” His eyes were full of mischief, and Wonwoo should have known better by now, but the truth was he had not a single thought on the right place anymore.
“Slow motion kiss.”
He could imagine what a slow motion kiss would feel, and that was enough for him not care about its consequences in their three-hour practice. Which would start in 4.5 minutes.
He nodded wearing his most expressionless face, since denial was the only thing that could save him.
He didn’t expect Jun suddenly becoming nervous, the fierce from the last days being replaced by uncertain eyes wondering from Wonwoo’s eyes to his lips. Jun swallowed and got closer.
The kiss started very similar to their last one – soft. But even if the speed never changed, Jun’s mouth was slowly conquering his. His tongue gently asked for permission, and lazily started to explore Wonwoo’s mouth.
He could stay there for hours. Their pace wasn’t fast, a different rhythm from his heartbeat, but completely in tune with the lethargy that took over his limbs. He was glad he was pinned against the wall, his hands firmly grabbing Jun’s hips.
Too soon, Jun moved away. They just stared at each other for some seconds, recovering their breaths. Jun’s eyes sparkled, and he said with a small smile, “Our time is up today, but tomorrow we’ll be roommates again.”
And again he left, this time leaving a expressionless spaghetti behind him.
Jun knew he was too invested with this kissing-Wonwoo-thing. He also knew that every time he had a break, his mind would plot to find new kisses (excuses? No, it surely wasn't that) he could practice with Wonwoo. The truth was he very much liked the faces Wonwoo made before or after their kisses. The last one still haunted him. He had to admit making Wonwoo breathless, his poker face completely out of control, seemed to be his new goal. He liked to win against Wonwoo – nothing more. He kept told himself that was why he was so excited to get to their room.
As soon as both crossed and closed the door, he let go of his luggage and pinned Wonwoo against the wall. This move had proven to be very effective to achieve his goals.
“So… I was thinking… I know technically last time our tongues were involved and all, but what do you think about French kiss? Is different from slow motion kiss, you know, this would be like, hum, freestyle?”
Wonwoo kept staring at him, eyes slightly wide. He looked around their room, maybe realizing that not only they were alone, but also schedule free. His chest started to rise and fall a bit more clearly.
Jun realized it too. For the first time, Wonwoo’s reaction made everything more serious, since apparently the other boy couldn’t even pretend trying to put his mask in place (as if he could trick him). Jun had been nervous about the slow motion kiss (and he had been right – it made he feel things), but this was different. He still didn't know why, and he certainly wouldn’t stop now.
As soon as his lips touched Wonwoo’s, the other engulfed him. Wonwoo’s hands embraced him, one pressing Jun’s lower back towards himself, and the other entangling his fingers on Jun’s hair, angling his head as he pleased. Jun’s hands found his cheeks, and he softly framed Wonwoo’s face, matching his pace, but allowing his guidance.
His body was combusting. It was as if Wonwoo’s tongue enlaced with his was more powerful than the spiciest food he had ever eaten. The fact he couldn't remember what dish was held the position (he had an extensive, specific list) should have ringed an alarm bell, but he honestly could not give a damn.
When stopping seemed impossible, Soonyoung’s voice made them jump.
“Why is the door locked? Can't you hear me knocking? Change of plans! We're going to practice in five! Do you hear me?”
Jun was still recovering when Wonwoo answered, after silently cursing all gods involved with his misfortune.
“Yes, we heard! We're coming!”
“Don't bitch your dance leader, Jeon Wonwoo! That's not a path you want to take!” They heard Soonyoung’s voice slowly fading.
Seeing Wonwoo getting annoyed made Jun recover. Although kind of sexy, he had to admit, it wasn't the expression he wanted to see.
“Hey, no need to get like this. We’ll have a lot of time when we got back.”
Wonwoo smirked, his face softening. “Practice’s going to be hard.”
Well, practice is not going to be the only thing hard, thought Jun.
Three hours later, sweating and feeling muscles he did not know existed, Wonwoo had to admit that, although difficult, the only way to be productive at practice was avoid looking at Jun completely. The last days had turn his insides in directions entirely strange to him. He had lost control and was absolutely fucked, and worse than having no idea on how to revert the situation was that he didn’t want to.
He was going to keep kissing Jun for as long as the other was interested. It wasn’t a choice anymore.
But one thing he wasn’t indulge was the delusion that Jun wasn’t merely practicing to later be able to talk to some girl. Sometimes his mind would play games with him, making him believe Jun seemed a bit too much invested on their agreement. Or that his eyes were shining differently when finding Wonwoo’s.
He left the room to drink some water and was almost instantly dragged by his wrist into some random door. Another bathroom, it seemed, when his capturer turned on the lights. Jun still holding his wrist, stepped closer.
“I thought we had a lot of time in our room later?” Wonwoo had to admit the look Jun was giving him was a new, confused one.
“I don’t think my mind has even left that room, to be honest. I couldn’t stop looking at you.”
And then Jun bit his lip, grabbing both his arms and holding them by his head, against the wall. He deepened the kiss with intent, pressing his body against Wonwoo’s. It was messy, and, quite obviously, a rough kiss, that put in check all that Wonwoo was trying so hard to discredit.
Jun let go of his hands, and Wonwoo’s quickly found his hair, while Jun grabbed his hips and pulled against his.
All happened too fast. Suddenly Wonwoo could feel everything and too much at the same time, and he knew Jun could feel it too. The next second, Jun was pressed against the wall opposite to him, eyes wide in pure panic.
“I—I have to go!” And of course he run away again.
The difference was that, this time, what he left behind was hope. And Wonwoo was determined to leverage it as much as possible.
The next morning, the first thing Jun noticed when his mind awoke before his alarm clock again was that he was in his own bed. Alone.
Thank God. He had no idea what would have happened if he had got closer to Wonwoo again that soon. The night before had tangled all his feelings and certainties and twisted them upside down.
Ok, it was time to be honest with himself. His feelings were a mess for way longer than that. What he felt, like physically felt, only clarified all the confusion he ignored since the second his lips touched Wonwoo’s for the first time.
Wasn’t he supposed to be getting ready to talk to girls? Did he even want to talk to girls?
The very beginning of an answer was starting to grow like a seed in his mind when he heard the first sounds indicating his roommate was awake. His eyes still closed, Jun didn't dare to breathe, trying to avoid the awkward situation for as long as possible. Although it was extremely odd for Wonwoo to be awake this early, he didn’t have the chance to speculate further–suddenly, soft fingers were caressing his fringe away, and he felt someone sitting on the corner of his bed.
Then Wonwoo kissed him.
Jun’s eyes were now very much opened, staring at a Wonwoo who was smiling gently at him.
“Good morning kiss,” Wonwoo said, before yawning.
“Why—how are you up so early?”
“I set my alarm to buzz 2 minutes before 6 AM.” And right on time, Jun’s alarm started ringing. “I don’t understand why you insist on waking up so early on our day off, but…,” his eyes were fond and he kept smiling at Jun in a way the latter definitely could not handle, “I’m willing to spend every second of the time we’re awake by your side.”
And that was it. Jun’s chest was about to explode. He sat on the bed, grabbing Wonwoo’s wrist away from his hair and staring deeply at his eyes.
“Ok, you cannot do things like these.”
A confused frown replaced Wonwoo’s smile.
“Why? Is ok for you to kiss me, but I can’t? One day or another, you’ll give or receive a good morning kiss, and a little practice is always—”
“That’s not it! It isn’t the kiss! Is the caressing, it’s you waking up three hours earlier than usual and saying things!” Jun gave a deep breath, closing his eyes. He knew what he had to do. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s time for the goodbye kiss.”
Wonwoo got up of the bed instantly.
“No!” He had a finger pointing at Jun. “No, we’re not having a goodbye kiss! Not after yesterday!” He passed his hands through his hair, only worsening the nest on his head.
“But Wonwoo, especially because of yesterday… that’s why I can’t do this anymore!”
Wonwoo sat on the bed and looked at him.
“Ok, tell me exactly why, I’m not sure I’m following.”
Jun hesitated. There was no way he could not tell Wonwoo the truth, but also there was no way he could physically do it. So he covered his face with both hands – everything seemed easier if he wasn’t seeing the other, as if Wonwoo wasn’t actually there.
“Look, this is not helping me as it should, ok?”
“Junnie, look at me…”
“Let go of my hands, Wonwoo! That’s the only way I can do this, it’s my way!” Wonwoo let go of him, and Jun proceeded. “I’m not closer to be able to speak with any girl as I was two weeks ago. And, more importantly, I don’t even know if I wanna speak to any girl for the foreseeable future. I mean… Sure, I like girls, I’m attracted to them, this panic isn’t from nothing… But,” Jun stopped to breath for a bit, trying to calm himself. It was difficult to say it out loud, even more when he had just understood it inside his head, “after last night, I can’t pretend to myself anymore that I’m only attracted to girls… That I’m kissing you just to see all the faces I can make you do.”
“What do you mean just to see the faces I make?” Wonwoo’s tone was almost exasperated.
“That was what you got from all I just said?” Jun lift his head and matched Wonwoo’s tone.
Wonwoo shook his head as clearing his thoughts. “I’m sorry, that was tactless of me. Are you saying you’re bi?”
“Oh, God, I have no idea.” Jun let himself fall on the bed again. “What are we doing, Wonwoo?”
Wonwoo fell on the bed by his side, also facing the ceiling. “I’m sure you have notice with ‘all my faces’ that I’m not doing this just to help you out. So, from my side, I’m just kissing you for as long as you let me.”
“What? What are you saying?”
“Come on, Junnie, why did you think I couldn’t keep a straight face around you anymore? What do you think you felt yesterday?”
“I thought I was a really good kisser!”
Wonwoo laughed really hard with all his body until Jun hit him in wherever he could reach.
“It’s not funny! I was really confused! And I can’t believe you aren’t enjoying yourself, you know.”
Wonwoo regained his breath and crooked his head to look at him, still laying on the bed by his side. “I was definitely enjoying myself and you’re definitely a good kisser.” His voice was soft and his eyes tender, but he returned to face the ceiling before continuing. “So now that you found out that maybe boys are game too, maybe your thing with Yanan—”
“Why you keep—YOU’RE JEALOUS! YOU’RE JEALOUS OF YANAN!” He jumped on top of Wonwoo and shook him by the arms as if he had won some prize. “Since we started this whole thing, you were jealous of him!”
“I’m NOT jealous. Stop shaking me! It’s just that you can’t stop talking about him!” Then Jun started singsonging Wonwoo is jealous of Yanan-an! Wonwoo is jealous of Yanan-an!, which apparently was too much for Wonwoo. “Ok, ok! I was jealous!”
Satisfied, Jun stopped the shaking, but didn’t got off from him, choosing to rest his arms on his chest instead.
“I told you already. Yanan and I are just friends. You’re the one I wanna keep kissing,” he blushed, avoiding Wonwoo’s eyes.
Wonwoo pushed Jun’s fringe away from his eyes. “Then if both of us just wanna keep kissing each other, well…”
“But that’s the thing! I want more than just kissing you. More than ‘practice’”.
“Ok, you can have it.”
“Just like that?”
“I want more too, I’ve always wanted more when it was about you.”
“Always? When did always begin?”
Wonwoo smirked. “I think our always starts right now,” he leaned forward, gently bringing Jun’s head towards him, and, for the first time of countless others, found Jun’s lips once more, but now for absolutely no reason.
“That’s really cheesy, and you still didn’t answer me, Jeon Wonwoo.”
Smiling, they kissed on.