PROTECTING JADE VIOLET
The Titans were in the living room watching YouTube on the TV. They were watching a concert performed by the hottest new rock star, Jade Violet. A beautiful 19 year old girl with massive green hair. On stage, she wore a very small and very tight black dress and high heels.
Beast Boy drooled as he watched the 19 year beauty perform her song seductively on stage.
“Beast Boy, no drooling on the couch!” snapped Raven.
“Is there a girl even hotter than her?” asked the love sick Beast Boy, who placed a cushion on his lap.
Robin tugged at his colour as he was hot underneath it.
Raven rolled her eyes.
Jade then began to strut sexilly on stage, causing the audience to scream like mad.
“She just owns the stage,” said Starfire.
“And now she’s performing in our city this week!” Cyborg added excitedly. “Shame we can’t get tickets.”
Just then, the Tower’s doorbell rang. The Titans looked at the security camera and it was a man in a business suit. He pressed on the intercom.
“Hello, Teen Titans?”
Robin answered it with his communicator.
“Yes, this is us.”
“My name is Peyton Ulric, can I come in?” asked the man.
“Yes,” answered Robin.
Ulric walked in and took the elevator to the living room. He then spoke to the Titans.
“I am the manager of Jade Violet.”
“Seriously?” asked Beast Boy with delight. “Wait, is this a prank?”
“No, I am the real deal,” said Ulric as he showed them his card. “As you know, Miss Violet is performing in your city this week. Well, we have a problem. She has a stalker that keeps bothering her.”
“The poor thing,” said Starfire.
“She wants to know if you can protect her,” replied Ulric.
“Us? Protect the sexy Jade Violet?” asked Beast Boy. “OF COURSE WE WILLL….”
“Beast Boy, you’re not the leader,” snapped Raven. “Robin?”
“Okay, we’ll protect her,” said Robin.
The Titans all cheered.
“Here’s the mansion’s address,” said Ulric as he gave the Titans another card with the address on it.
The next day, the Titans arrived at the mansion. They walked into the rehearsal room to meet Jade Violet. But when they arrived, they saw her arguing with Ulric.
“I wanna do it!”
“No you will not!”
“Please?” asked Jade.
“NO!” replied Ulric.
“PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!!” begged Jade.
“No, you will not be getting naked in the show!” replied Ulric.
Beast Boy and Cyborg’s eyebrows rose.
“But I promised my fans on Twitter!” moaned Jade.
“No!” replied Ulric. “Just wear the flesh coloured body suit. It’s sexy enough.”
Jade groaned with disappointment.
“Madam?” the maid asked Jade. “The Titans are here.”
Jade leapt for joy.
“The Titans! OH MY GOD!”
She ran over to the Titans, excitedly.
“Oh my God, she is even hotter in person,” said Beast Boy.
“Titans, I am a huge fan of you guys!” cried Jade with delight.
“Oh thank you,” said Robin.
“I love hearing the news about you guys’ missions and all the bad guys you fight!” squealed Jade in fan girl mode.
She then looked at Starfire.
“Starfire, your abs look AMAZING!” squealed Jade.
“What are abs?” asked Starfire.
“Your abdomen,” answered Raven.
“Can I touch them?” Jade asked Starfire.
“Sure,” said Starfire.
Jade felt Starfire’s abs and was amazed.
“Oh my God, they feel amazing!”
“You can feel mine’s next if you want,” suggested Beast Boy.
“Jade, you need to rehearse now,” said Ulric. “I need to talk to the Titans.”
“Okay,” sighed Jade. “Killjoy!”
Ulric brought the Titans into the office and showed them some letters.
“This is some of the letters the stalker wrote.”
The Titans looked at them, and they were written from words cut out magazines and glued onto the page. They said things like:
“I WILL GET YOU!”
“JUST YOU WAIT, YOU WILL BE MINE!”
“YOU’LL BE IN MY POWER SOONER THAN YOU THINK!”
“Could it be an angry ex-boyfriend?” asked Robin.
“No,” said Ulric. “She had to stop using Twitter because the stalker kept asking her dirty questions. The stalker is anonymous.”
“We’ll do whatever it takes to catch this guy,” said Robin. “He might strike at the concert.”
Later, the Titans watched Jade, in her sexy tight dress rehearse with her band on stage. Beast Boy stood behind Cyborg.
“What are you doing?” asked the robot.
“I’m going to get a boner, and I don’t want her to see it,” replied Beast Boy.
As Jade sang and danced seductively, she kept making sexy eyes at Robin.
After the rehearsal, the Titans applauded and Jade curtsied.
“Thank you, thank you,” she said.
“Could you do the bit where you get naked?” asked Beast Boy.
“Sorry about him,” apologised Raven. “He’s a perv.”
“I can’t control my sexual desires,” said Beast Boy. “I’m an animal, baby!”
“I’d love to get naked, but my manager won’t let me,” said Jade.
“Her mother was a streaker in the 70’s and was arrested a lot,” explained Ulric. “Jade, there’s going to be children in that concert, so no!”
“Fine, the flesh coloured body suit it is,” sighed Jade.
“Could you try it on?” asked Cyborg, eagerly.
Jade left for a few minutes and then walked back wearing the flesh coloured, sparkling bodysuit.
“Oh, very sexy!” cried Beast Boy as he turned himself into a wolf and howled like crazy.
“Good thing I took off my libido chip,” said Cyborg.
“Guys, how about we hit the town?” asked Jade. “Could you show me the sights?”
So the Titans took Jade, wearing a jacket, jeans and boots, all around the city. They went to the Mall, the record shop, the bowling alley and even Beast Boy’s favourite vegan restaurant.
Throughout the whole trip, Robin looked out for the stalker. He seemed to be nowhere in sight.
That night, Jade insisted that the Titans stay in the mansion for safety reasons. They accepted.
“Jade, can I sleep in your bed?” asked Beast Boy.
Raven smacked him on the back of the head.
Robin gave Jade a communicator.
“If there is any trouble during the night, call us on this.”
That night at 1 in the morning, Robin got a call from the communicator.
“Robin, come quick! I need you!” cried Jade.
Robin dashed to Jade’s room. He opened the door and went inside.
“Jade, are you okay?”
Jade then closed the door. Robin saw that she was dressed in the sexy black dress and high heels. She walked over to Robin seductively.
“I am now,” she said as she placed her hands on Robin’s face and kissed him.
“You’ve always been my favourite,” she purred at him and kissed him again.
At that moment, the door opened to reveal Starfire, checking to see what the commotion was.
She got the shock of her life, as she saw Robin and Jade KISSING!
Of course, they had their eyes closed, so they didn’t notice Starfire.
The shocked alien slowly closed the door and walked away in tears.
As Jade was still kissing Robin, he stopped her.
“You’ve got a girl?” she asked him. “She doesn’t have to know.”
“No,” said Robin. “We’re just here to protect you.”
“I want you to protect me forever,” swooned Jade.
“Goodnight, Jade,” said Robin as he left the room.
As he left, Jade said to herself:
“Just you wait, Robin. You’ll be in my bed very soon……...oh, that’s a good lyric.”
She wrote the lyric down in a journal.
In her own bedroom, poor Starfire cried herself to sleep.
The next morning, Starfire told Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy what happened.
“Damn, why does Robin get all the hot chicks?” groaned Beast Boy.
“Just talk to her, Starfire,” said Raven.
“No, I can’t!” replied Starfire. “I just can’t.”
Jade then arrived into the kitchen where the other Titans were at.
“Morning, Titans,” greeted them.
“Morning, Jade,” all of the Titans except Starfire greeted back.
Robin then walked in.
“Morning, Robin,” purred Jade as she winked at him.
The anger was boiling inside Starfire. Her eyes were glowing.
“Guys, my chef can cook the best breakfast ever,” announced Jade.
“As long as it’s vegetarian for me,” said Beast Boy.
“Where did Starfire go?” asked Jade.
The alien had disappeared.
Starfire was back outside Titans Tower. She was in the training area fighting off cardboard cutouts of all the villains the Titans faced.
“That Succubus! That seducerer! That……… Glyorofphing Mixalotor!”
She fired many beams destroying all the cutouts to oblivion.
“I ought to……………..!!!!”
She created a massive beam that was 50 feet big. Just then her communicator started ringing.
It was Robin’s voice.
Starfire made the beam go away and answered the communicator.
“Where are you?” asked Robin.
“I’m at home, at the training area,” answered Starfire.
“We need you here because we are going to be at the concert tonight,” said Robin.
“All right,” said Starfire. “I’ll see you there.”
She hung up and began to fly away back to the mansion where that girl she hated was waiting for her.
When Starfire arrived at the mansion, Jade walked over to her.
“Where did you go, Starfire?” she asked.
“I had to sort out something,” answered Starfire.
“Sort out what?” asked Jade.
“IT’S A TAMARANEAN THING!” roared Starfire. “YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND!”
Starfire stormed down the corridor in a huff. Jade walked over to the other Titans.
“Did I say something to upset her?” asked Jade.
Raven decided to tell her.
“Jade, it’s about………”
“Jade, you need to rehearse now,” said Ulric. “You’ve got the show tonight.”
So Jade went to rehearse in that sexy dress once more and gave Robin seductive stares.
She had written a new song last night.
“You don’t have to look very hard
Not at all
For the man you’ve been searching
Is waiting for youuuuuuuuu”
The Titans enjoyed watching her rehearse, but Starfire was in her room crying.
That night it was the concert at the massive arena. The Titans had planned it out. Robin will be backstage, Cyborg will in the control room, Beast Boy will turn himself into a fly and search for the stalker in the audience, Raven will be flying at the back of the arena and Starfire will be at the front.
The music started and the show began. The 7,000 fans all screamed like crazy as Jade sexilly stutted on stage in that dress.
“Hello, my fans. I have written a brand new song about a guy I like!”
She looked backstage and gave Robin a wink.
Jade then began to sing.
“I’ve admired you for some time
Been a fan of yours for many years
Now I’ve met you, you’re the one
To protect me from all my fears…”
She then gave a crazy sexy dance and the audience went wild.
Starfire was meant to be at her position, but she was gone.
She had flown off to a building nearby. She sat on the roof and began to cry.
“When this week is over, the better,” she wept. “But what if Robin leaves the Titans and joins her instead…….!”
She bawled even more.
Back at the concert, the show went on a for a whole hour and nothing bad happened.
That was until the audience started exclaiming “What is that thing?”
There was a strange UFO of some sort flying above the arena. Jade and her band stopped to see what it was.
“Aliens?” she asked.
Just then a tractor beam came out of the UFO and shone over Jade, it then began to lift off the stage and sucked her inside the UFO.
Then it began to fly away.
“Starfire, get it!” cried Robin. “Starfire?”
The UFO was flying across the arena and Raven tried to use her psychic power to stop it.
But the UFO fired a laser at her, causing her to fall to the ground.
The UFO flew off into the sky.
Starfire was at the building still crying, until Robin cried in her communicator:
Starfire jumped and answered the communicator.
“Jade was taken away! Where were you?”
Starfire couldn’t believe she failed her mission.
Starfire flew back to the arena and met the Titans backstage.
“Friends, I am sorry I didn’t stay at my position. I flew away because I was upset.”
“What was wrong, Starfire?” asked Robin.
Starfire took a deep breath.
“I saw you and Jade kissing.”
There was a huge pause.
“Holy shit,” said Cyborg.
“Well, could’ve been worse,” said Beast Boy. “Robin and Jade could’ve been fu…….”
Raven smacked him on the back of the head.
“Friends, I am a failure,” sighed Starfire.
“Not quite,” said Robin. “Jade has the communicator which has a tracking device. We’ll find her.”
Using the scanner in the T-car, the Titans drove outside a crappy apartment.
“I should’ve known,” said Raven.
Jade opened her eyes. She found herself strapped to a wall and appeared to be wearing a helmet.
“What the?” she asked.
“Greetings, Miss Violet,” sneered a voice. “I told you I’d get you.”
“Who are you?” asked Jade.
“I am the Titans’ greatest enemy, the unstoppable Control Freak!”
“You’re my stalker?” asked Jade.
“Correct,” said Control Freak. “And I will brainwash you into being my trophy girlfriend forever!”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked him.
“I’ve been in love with you for over a year,” explained Control Freak. “Ever since I saw you perform in Madison Square Garden in that sexy dress, strutting around the stage like the sex goddess you are, I knew I had to have you. But you are a millionaire, and I am not, so I decided to brainwash you.”
“You’re crazy,” said Jade.
“That’s why I am so fantastic at what I do,” replied Control Freak. “In 2 minutes, you will become Mrs Control Freak.”
“In your dreams, Fat Shit!” boasted Raven.
The Titans had arrived.
“Too late, Titans,” said Control Freak as he pulled the lever and the helmet began to activate inside Jade’s head.
“TITANS GO!” cried Robin as the Titans launched toward Control Freak.
Using his remote control, Control Freak pressed a button and made cardboard cutouts of robots come to life. The robots fired lasers at the Titans. Cyborg fired his cannon and blasted the robots away.
Control Freak made a cardboard Raptor come to life, and Beast Boy turned himself into a Raptor to fight it.
Control Freak made cardboard Ninjas come to life and they all began to fight Robin.
Then Control Freak made a cardboard phantom come to life and it fought with Raven.
Control Freak was about to make cardboard aliens come to life, that was until Starfire fired a beam and it hit Control Freak’s hand, knocking the remote control out of it.
Starfire flew down to the floor and grabbed the remote, she pressed a button and the Titans’ opponents all turned back into cardboard. Starfire then pushed up the lever to stop brainwashing Jade.
With Jade saved, and no remote control in his hand, Control Freak looked at the Titans nervously. He giggled and then made a break for it. But Cyborg fired an ice beam at him and froze him into an ice cube.
Starfire opened the straps that held Jade down.
“Jade, I have something to tell you,” said Starfire. “I got angry because I saw you kissing Robin.”
Jade looked at her and then realised.
“Oh shit! You’re Robin’s girl? Oh, I am soooooo stupid!”
“No, I am the foolish one,” said Starfire. “I should’ve told you earlier, but I have trouble admitting my true feelings.”
“Ditto,” said Jade.
“I acted arrogantly,” replied Starfire. “Can you forgive me?”
“Only if you let me feel your abs one more time,” said Jade.
Starfire let Jade feel her abs again.
“Oh, you’re like Aly Michalka.”
Jade then looked at Robin.
“Thank you for saving me against this guy….”
She looked at the frozen Control Freak.
“You and Starfire make a good couple,” she said to Robin. “I wish you the best.”
“I wish you the best too,” said Robin.
Back at the concert, the audience were getting impatient. Ulric was backstage and was starting to worry.
“If the Titans don’t bring her back, a riot is about to happen?”
But in the sky, everybody saw something.
It was Starfire carrying Jade, who was in a big coat. Starfire brought Jade to the stage, and the singer got off the alien's arms and stood on it.
“Thank you, Starfire. Sorry I was late folks, I was kidnapped by a crazy stalker. I was rescued by my new friends, The Teen Titans!”
The audience cheered.
“Come on stage, guys.”
The Titans ran on stage and the audience cheered.
“I LOVE YOU, BEAST BOY!” cried a woman.
Beast Boy waved to the attractive woman.
“Thank you for saving me, guys,” Jade told the Titans. “But you forgot one thing……”
The audience went silent.
“The stalker took away my clothes!”
Jade took off the coat and the audience screamed as they saw her in the nude bodysuit.
“Hit it!” cried Jade as the band began to play:
“When there's trouble, you know who to call (teen titans!)
From their tower, they can see it all (teen titans!)
When there's evil on the attack
You can rest knowing they got your back
Cause when the world needs heroes on patrol
Teen titans, go!
Teen titans, go!”
The Titans danced on stage to the song and were having the time of their lives.
Meanwhile, Control Freak was at the police station in his cell. He watched the concert on the TV.
“Damn you, Titans! But mark my words, I will have my revenge!”
He began to laugh evilly, until the cops shouted at him:
“Hey Fat Boy! Shut up! I’m trying to watch this!”
Teen titans, go!
Teen titans, go!
One, two, three, four, go!