Jeongguk still remembers it perfectly, the strange hot and tingly feeling under his skin, that first time he’d laid eyes on Jimin. The rapid beats of his heart, the fluttering feeling in his chest. The sudden urge of protectiveness, the realization that it was something beyond his control, something he couldn’t ever ignore.
It was fated. Call it destiny. Call it luck.
He might not ever know.
But it doesn’t really matter. A whole bunch of months later, Jeongguk is still helplessly head over heals for Jimin. And Jimin still utterly despises him. He’d hated him since the very beginning and Jeongguk is clueless as to why.
He still can’t help it, though. How his eyes follow the boy’s every move. How his heart, mind and soul tell him he has to ―no, needs to― get closer, to hold him, to nuzzle his nose in his neck and take him all in.
He can’t stop.
And he know that, if things keep up this way, he will forever be in pain and in sorrow, he’ll never be entirely happy, he’ll always feel empty and not complete. But there’s not much he can do. Jimin seems to have made up his mind about him and he has no idea why or how to change it.
Still, though, Jeongguk finds himself staring at him, sitting a few desks away from him. He’s dressed up so good today. Black tight jeans that wrap perfectly around his clearly strong thighs, a white plain t-shirt, tucked inside the jeans. And a black leather jacket that gives him this vibe that Jeongguk finds so extremely attractive.
Well, he looks too hot for Jeongguk’s liking and he hates how horrifying it feels to see other people checking him out.
He feels a growl at the back of his throat when the girl in the front row ―he doesn’t really remember her name― spares him a long glance, eyes sparkling with emotion when Jimin smiles at her, upon catching her watching.
Jeongguk suddenly feels like whining upon the lack of attention from the boy he so much wants and needs.
He clears his throat, trying to prevent himself from acting like the animal he is.
The noise seems to spread completely across the classroom and Jimin’s eyes ―finally, yes― settle on him. But there’s pure hatred in them, anger.
Jeongguk looks away, trying hard to not jump and try to talk some sense into the older one. Tell him that he needs him, that he won’t be able to keep up with his hate forever because he’ll be broken for not having him.
But he can’t do that, so he remains as calm as he can, grateful that nobody can be able to smell the distress in his scent. Not even Jimin, of course, because he’s human, completely human and he probably knows nothing about Jeongguk and the actual world that surrounds his life.
The bell rings, signaling the end of the class and Jeongguk fumbles on his seat, to get up, desperately in need to take his chance at being close to Jimin. It happens every Friday, the only day they have a lesson together and Jimin seems to hate him even more, every single time.
Jeongguk doesn’t plan on stopping, though. It’s the only thing that keep him sane, because it’s as close as he can get to the older one.
So, he makes his way between the desks, bumping into Jimin in the way, making the older one groan and mutter an insult under his breath.
“You really don’t have to take this way to the door, yet you do it every fucking Friday. How funny, don’t you think?” he asks, his eyes flaring with more anger than ever.
Jeongguk loves that Jimin is directly talking to him, even if his voice and words are full of hatred.
“I can do whatever the fuck I want” he replies, showing him a smirk and giving himself a little moment to smell his sweet honey scent. It’s strange he smells so good, seeing as he’s just human, but Jeongguk can only guess it’s because, well, because of his feelings. Because in Jeongguk’s world ―and hopefully in the human world too― they are destined to be together.
“Fuck you” Jimin spits out, crushing Jeongguk’s thoughts incredibly fast.
He opens his mouth to reply, but the older one is already busting out of the room, leaving him with the emptiness in his chest and the lingering honey scent, that drowns in his nostrils and forces him to close his eyes. It drives him crazy, but he loves it so much.
When he manages to pull himself together, he lets out a long and tired sigh, eyes casting downwards, his heartbeat growing fast when he sees the notebook on Jimin’s desk. It’s a perfect excuse to go searching after him and Jeongguk takes it without a second thought.
He leaves the classroom in a hurry and immediately bumps into Jimin. He know because of the intense honey scent that quickly surrounds him, as soon as Jimin’s nose accidently bumps against his neck.
But Jimin is already cursing at him.
“Can’t you fucking watch where you’re going?” he demands, pushing him away and snatching the notebook from between his hands.
Jeongguk is still so dazed and dizzy from the smell that he doesn’t even find it in him to answer. He knows Jimin is fuming, but all he can think about is the scenting, the accidental scenting, of course. What it’s doing to him. It’s taking over his body quickly and he knows he needs to be alone soon, or else he’ll totally embarrass himself.
He doesn’t even answer.
He leaves. He doesn’t care he’ll miss his last two periods, because he can’t think about that. He can’t even think about anything that’s not getting home so he can make the heat pooling in the pit of his stomach disappear.
It hurts. It’s painful. And he need to get rid of it. As soon as possible.
It’s a good thing he lives alone, because as soon as his front door closes behind him, he lets his hands fall over his crotch, desperately trying to chase away the heat. He can’t help wonder if it’s maybe Jimin’s strange scent that’s triggered this heat inside him. This isn’t supposed to be happening so soon, after all.
But there’s nothing he can do about it now, because he’s trying to just get to his bedroom, so he can sink in his bed and imagine it’s Jimin touching him, Jimin helping him with the intense arousal he’s feeling. Jimin taking care of him, as it’s supposed to be.
So, he does just that. He lays down and finally let’s his hands drown under his briefs.
Finally, thank God.
His fingers are nothing compared to what he actually wishes he could feel, but they’ll have to do, because there’s no possibility of Jimin ever helping him out with that.
He strokes his cock slowly, wondering if that’s the way Jimin would take care of him. Slowly and lovingly. Or maybe it would be angrily. Yeah, angrily seems more accurate and his grip on himself tightens as he tries to exchange the pain for something better, for something pleasurable.
He knows he probably looks more like an animal that like a human right now, hips grinding against his own hand, groans and growls escaping his lips at every strong thrust. Whimpers now and then, when Jimin’s plump lips appear in his mind, making him wish they were wrapped around him instead of his fingers.
It only takes him a few miserable minutes, before he’s coming into his hand, legs shaking, muffled moans trying to escape from beneath his free hand, covering his mouth to prevent the noise from becoming too loud.
He wants to feel ashamed, but he can’t. Because Jimin is still clouding his mind. His scent still lingering around him. And anyway, it’s the older one’s fault.
“Well, someone looks like shit” Namjoon says, when Jeongguk sits next to him.
He feels tired and stressed out because he spent the whole night thinking and thinking about Jimin. He’s confused and hurt, and the feeling is everlasting. Never changes, no matter how much he’s grown accustomed to being hated by Park Jimin.
“Are you sleeping with someone?” the older on asks, suddenly.
Jeongguk lifts and eyebrow.
“No?” he somewhat asks, confused at the sudden question. “Come on, Joon hyung, you know I have no one to sleep with”.
“You smell… different” Namjoon explains, shrugging his shoulders and looking ahead.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean. Your scent has changed. You smell like, I don’t know, honey?” he further explains.
Jeongguk feels his heart jump at the sudden realization and he turns completely to face Namjoon, who still is looking ahead, apparently lost in the beautiful scenery the sun is creating ahead of them.
“Oh, God. Are you sure?” he asks, the older one nodding, finally paying attention to him.
“Why do you smell like honey, Jeongguk?”
“I didn’t know it was possible but, I think Jimin accidently scented me?” Namjoon lifts and eyebrow, seemingly trying to discover if Jeongguk is just playing with him but once he sees the younger one is being serious, he frowns. So Jeongguk continues with his explanation. “We bumped into each other and his nose nuzzled my scent gland barely, but it made my whole world spin and well, apparently, it let you smell it now too”
“I’ve never smelled Jimin before” Namjoon says. “I mean, whenever he’s near, I don’t get any sort of smell from him. But somehow I can catch his scent when mixed with yours?” his question is curious and genuine and definitely not meant to have an answer. He smiles. “That’s so interesting. Do you smell him?” he asks, now seeming incredibly curious.
“I mean, I always do” he says.
Namjoon’s eyebrows lift, surprise evident in his features.
“Yeah, I’ve always thought it’s because… well, because he’s my mate” he confesses, shrugging in an attempt to make it seem like it’s less important. But truth is, he hurts just by knowing he’ll never get to be with the person that he’s destined to be with for the rest of his life.
“Wow” Namjoon states, simply nodding, as if he understood absolutely everything. “I’m gonna do some research on that. Didn’t know it as possible” he decides, then. “Also, I think you have to be careful, I can smell your rut. It’s low, but it’s there. It could hit any moment, if you’re not mindful of it” he advices.
Jeongguk makes a face.
“I think Jimin might have triggered it” he says, pulling softly at his hair, trying to distract himself from the nervousness that has been on his chest since he had the idea that Jimin could had made his rut come before than expected. “After his scent invaded me, I just lost it. Had to leave college to be able to calm down” he confesses.
“Then really be careful. Maybe it was Jimin’s scent. And being near him could trigger your rut even sooner” he agrees.
“I’m dreading Friday” he replies. “I’m so scared, this has never happened before”
The older one pats his back reassuringly.
“It will be ok. I feel like your rut is still far away, not that close. Just don’t let it be forced on you sooner. Stay calm” he suggests.
“Thanks, hyung” he answers, and gives the older one a reassuring smile.
And so, they both continue staring ahead of them at the now slightly different landscape that’s formed.
Next Friday arrives before Jeongguk is ready to face it and he finds himself praying to God that it won’t be as hard as he thinks it’ll be. He prays to God it was just a one-time thing, something that isn’t likely to be repeated. He prays and prays and stops abruptly when Jimin’s scent invades him, as the older one makes his way inside the classroom. It drives him crazy, makes him want to throw himself at him and just nuzzle against his neck, get a better sniff, be surrounded completely by it, with nothing and no one in the way.
But it’s not that strong, now that he comes to think of it. It’s there and it has Jeongguk hyper aware, but it doesn’t seem to make him want, need. It doesn’t seem to make him hard. Thankfully.
The class begins, but Jeongguk can’t find it in him to pay attention, because Jimin looks beautiful today. Well, clearly, he always does, but today he’s gone for a much softer look. Blue jeans, not as tight as the ones he used the day before and a large oversized sweater that hid half his small hands and seemed to make him look smaller than ever.
“So, the project will be in pairs that I will chose and is to be handed in two weeks, so I suggest you all get to working on it sooner than latter” the teacher says, finally catching Jeongguk’s attention.
He has no idea whatever is happening, but the sudden realization that the teacher will choose the pairs has him extremely nervous. He wants to be paired with Jimin, but also dreads it. He’s not ready to be close to him, he’s scared of what it will cause in him.
“Park Jimin, you will be working with Jeon Jeongguk” the teacher announces, again gaining back Jeongguk’s attention.
He wasn’t really expecting that to happen and he feels his heart start beating faster when his eyes meet the older’s. He seems extremely angry and annoyed and Jeongguk wonders if he’s trying to kill him with his eyes. He wonders, too, if there’s a possibility of changing that hate he was, of making him fall for him, change the anger for something better, more gratifying. Even just managing to make him accept him as a friend would be enough for Jeongguk.
But he lost hope a long time ago.
When the class is over, and everybody leaves quickly, to get to their next class, Jeongguk tries to think of something, anything to say, but he’s cut short when, instead of having to make his way towards Jimin, he’s met by him exactly in front of him.
“Listen here, you dumbass. I hate that the teacher paired us together but I’m not gonna act like a child and ask for a change, so we’re doing this and we’re getting over it today” he says, all fast and steady, anger lacing with his voice.
Jeongguk wonders if he practiced that in his mind or if he just made his way towards him with the need to spit out the first thing he managed.
“Well, hello to you too. Always so cranky, I see. Did you not have a good night, Jimin? I think you need to find yourself something to entertain you more. That way you wouldn’t be so mad all the time” Jeongguk shoots back, a smirk plastered in his lips, as usual.
Jimin looks furious, immediately.
“I don’t need anything to entertain me, thank you. I’m perfectly fine. You make me cranky. I hate you” he says, just like that, shrugging like it’s no big deal.
The words seem to shatter Jeongguk’s heart into a million pieces and he tries hard not to let it show, even though he feels as if he just lost a part of him. A part that he needs so much. His mate, even if Jimin doesn’t know he is. And it hurts, because he’ll never have him.
“Aw, how cute of you. I make you cranky because you actually love me and hate that I’m not even the slightest bit attracted to you” he replies, just as easily as Jimin seems to come up with remarks.
“Fuck you” he spits, grabbing his books tightly against his chest, as if it was a way to protect himself. “I get home after lunch, we’ll do it there and finish it tonight” he states, then, eyes focused on anything but Jeongguk.
The younger one feels bad, his wolf whining upon the clear pain he just caused his mate. Jimin looks hurt, yes, but he’s good at hiding it. Only, Jeongguk can smell it, perks of being a werewolf and being able to catch the subtle pain in Jimin’s aroma.
“Fine” he replies, not wanting to say anything that will hurt him more.
He hates that he hurt him, but it’s because the older one started it. What’s Jeongguk supposed to do? Just sit back and let the older one hurt him and keep hurting him when all he can do is love him desperately?
If Jimin was to find out about his feelings, God forbid it, he might find a way to completely shatter Jeongguk’s heart in a billion pieces he’ll never be able of getting back together. He isn’t going to risk it. Plus, this way, at least he has some of the older one’s attention. Painful, but he has it, as masochist as it seems.
Jimin sticks a hand out, handing Jeongguk a post-it with his address and then leaves, not sparing him another glance and not bothering to say goodbye.
Jeongguk feels his chest hurt and he tries hard not to let his emotions take over him. He wants it to stop, but there’s no way of managing that. So, all he can hope for is that they’ll finish the project fast and get it over with as soon as possible. So, he can stop hurting Jimin and Jimin can stop hurting him.