Halloween is literally the worst holiday ever. Any way you spend it, it’ll still suck. Either you go to peoples houses and ask for candy, you go to a party and have to interact with others, or you hide in your house and try to ignore the constant doorbell ringing.
Anyway you put it, my anxiety will make it Hell.
No, not yet, I’m not ready.
They won’t stop, they won’t leave. I had forgotten to turn the lights off and if I put a candy bowl out now they’ll see me.
Why won’t they just go away? Haven’t they figured it out yet, I’m not going to answer it.
“Go away, go away, go away,” I begged, though I knew they couldn’t hear me.
It won’t stop, they won’t leave, they won’t-they won’t-
“Ev! Evan, it’s Connor!” He banged on the front door.
My feet stumbled as I made my way to the door. I quickly checked out the window just to make sure no children were by him.
“Eva-woah, are you okay!” I guess he was caught off guard by my...well my everything.
“There’s been a lot-a lot of people and ringing and-” I quickly cut myself off as a kid started walking towards the open door. I grabbed Connor and yanked him inside before the kid could get too close. I slammed the door a little too hard, leaning against it, breathing too hard and too fast.
“No…” I clenched my hands over my ears. “Go away, go away, go away ,” I pleaded.
“Hey, Ev, hey, it’ll be alright. It’ll be okay,” he tried to console me only for the doorbell to ring again. I just clutched my hands tighter over my ears.
“I’ll make them leave,” he tried to help me away from the door.
I violently shook my head, “no, no, they won’t leave, the candy it’s-I have to get it-the candy. They-they won’t leave, they won’t-”
“Okay, I’ll do it. I got it, okay,” he assured me, taking my hand and leading me away from the stupid door.
He winced at my violent flinch. After placing me onto the family room couch he threw some candy in a bowl, promptly dropping it outside.
“Okay, done,” he brushed his hands off as he came over and plopped down next to me. He interlaced his fingers in mine, I automatically leaned over and put my head on his shoulder.
“Want to go up to your room? We can put on a movie,” he suggested after a moment. I nodded mutely and let him lead me upstairs. While I collapsed on my bed, he grabbed my laptop. I only shrugged when he asked what I wanted to watch.
Even up here I can hear that consistent bell echoing through the house. I wish I could just gouge my ears out…
He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer. Then he was placing feather like kisses on my hairline and temple. Somehow he managed to pull me closer, until I was almost in his lap, while moving his kisses onto my face. My cheeks, my nose, and then finally my lips. It was gentle and soft, but still filled with more love than anyone would have thought he could muster.
After a few more minutes of this, I snuggled into him, not really paying attention to whatever animated film was playing. He wrapped both arms around me, basically hugging me against him. This is what contentment looks like.
If I could spend the rest of my Halloween’s like this, they’ll quickly become my favorite holiday.