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Dear My Immortal, Moritz

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Hi my name is Moritz Dark’ness Dementia Raven Stiefel and I have tall curly wild brown hair that reaches the sky and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Gerard Canonico (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of Germany!). I’m not related to Gerard but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking dude who once got a squip. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called German School in Germany where I’m in the fourth year (I’m fourteen). I’m bad at latin (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Abgestorben Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black suit jacket with matching buttons on it and a black vest, black suit pants and black dress shoes. I was walking outside German School. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of good latiners stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Moritz!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Melchior Gabor!

“What’s up Melchior?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away .

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AN: good latiners stop flaming ma story ok!


The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the curtain of my four-poster bed and drank some blood from a mug I had. My bed was black ebony and inside it was dark blood red with black trimmings. I got out of my bed and took of my giant Melchi’s Consensual Romance t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather suit, a pentagram necklace, black combat boots and black pants on. I put four gothic rings on my pale hands, and somehow put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Ernst woke up then and grinned at me. He flipped his long raven black hair with opened his forest-green eyes. He put on his Winter Sleeping t-shirt with black shorts and pointy black heeled boots. We discussed how dumb latin is.

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Melchior Gabor yesterday!” he said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Melchior?” he asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” he exclaimed. Just then, Melchior walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Priapia is having a concert in Munich.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love Priapia. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. “Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

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AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY GUD LATINERZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da bad latin ppl 4 da good reveiws!

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with ebony black combat boots because little goffik butterflies wear two pears of shoes. Underneath them were ripped black pants. Then I put on a black leather overcoat with all this edgy stuff on the back and front. I put on big spooky bracelets. I made my spiky hair look spikier than usual. I felt a little depressed then, so I shot off one of my ears. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some MCR. I drank some anti-latin infused blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Melchior was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Bitchy Living t-shirt (they would play at the show too), a black jacket and a little broken cross necklace (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Melchi!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Moritz.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Train-Car (the license plate said IMCALLING6669) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Priapia and Winter Sleeping. We both smoked cigarettes and marijuana and crack. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Priapia.

“It’s the bitch of living!
Ah, ah, ah!
With nothing going on!
Nothing going on!
Just the bitch of living, asking
‘What went wrong?’
Do they think we want this?
Oh, who knows?”
(I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Georg is so fucking hot.” I said to Melchior, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Melchior looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Melchior sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Georg and he’s going out with Fräulein fucking Großebüstenhalter. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly piano face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Melchior. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Otto and Georg for their autographs and photos with them. We got Priapia concert tees. Melchior and I crawled back into the Train-Car, but Melchior didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest! 

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AN: I sed stup flaming ok moritz’s name is MORTIZ nut mary su OK! MELCHI IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!


“MELCHI!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Melchior didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Moritz?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Melchior leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and consent and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Melchior kissed me passionately. Melchior climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my knickers. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….


It was…………………………………………………….Headmaster Knochenbruch!

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AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a gud latirn or a posr! Da only reson Konckinburch swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!


Knochenbruch made and Melchior and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Melchior comforted me. When we went back to the castle Knochenbruch took us to Herr Sonnenstich and Fräulein Knuppeldick who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Fräulein Knuppeldick.

“How dare you?” demanded Herr Sonnenstich.

And then Melchior shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Everyone was quiet. Knochenbruch and Fräulein Knuppeldick still looked mad but Herr Sonnenstich said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Melchior and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Moritz?” Melchior asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the boy’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black dress shirt with a black and red striped tie and black combat boots. When I came out….

Melchior was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I Wanna Spend My Days At The Piano With My Teacher And Her Breasts’ by Priapia. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.  

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on black breeches that was all ripped around the end and a black shirt with red skulls all over it and tall boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull rings and two cross rings. I tried to make some of my sky hair cover my eye.

In the Great Hall, I ate some food with a glass of blood instead of milk and another glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky dark blood red hair with black streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing red contact lenses just like Melchi’s and there was no scar on his chek anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy German accent. He looked exactly like Andy Mientus. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a anti latin goth so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a arrogantly shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Hänschen Rilow, although most people call me Sad these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love sad people.” he giggled.

“Well, I don't want to do sadness.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Melchior came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

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AN: STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Morjiz isn’t a Marie Sue ok heisn’t perfect HES A SATANITS! n he has problemz hes depressed 4 godz sake!


Melchi and I held our pale white hands as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my ink stained nails (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Sad. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Melchior. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Melchior. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather undershirt and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Melchi, Melchi!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Melchior’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… HÄNSCHEN = SAD!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Melchior pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Melchior ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Sad’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Herr Sonnenstich and some other people.


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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Melchior came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Moritz, it’s not what you think!” Melchior screamed sadly.

My friend Ilse Neumann smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had smooth pale white skin that she was wearing dark eye makeup on. Ilse was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are Hanschen’s and one of them is a witch but no-consent killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Neumann . (Since she has converted to Anti-Latinism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Sonnenstich demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“Sad Rilow, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Melchior!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Moritz was so mad at me. I had went out with Sad (I’m bi and so is Moritz) for a while but then I left him. He had been eying some dude named Bobby Maler, a stupid motherfucker. We were just frenemies now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a preppy pro latin idiot even though i actually like latin shhh dont tell moritz litora multum ille.)

“But I’m not going out with Melchior anymore!” said Sad.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Melchior and then I started to bust into tears.

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AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red frank weedkidsd’s tihng! dis is frum da mosikal ok so itz nut my folt if kocnkenbroch swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson sonebstich dosent lik handchen now is coz hes christian and sad is a satanist! MCR ROX!


I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Melchior for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Melchior.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and bad Hernst and everything started flying towards me on a torpedo! He had a big nose (basically like Steven Sater in real life) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Steven Sater!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Steven Satan shouted “Bad show writing!” and I couldn’t run away.

“Good show writing!” I shouted at him. Steven Sater fell of his torpedo and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Moritz.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Sad Rilow!”

I thought about Hanschen and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Andy Mientus. I remembered that Melchior had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Melchior went out with Sad before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Steven Satan I Mean Sater!” I shouted back.

Steven gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Melchior!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Steven Sater got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Jokingly Gay Rilow, then thou know what will happen to Melchior!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his torpedo.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Melchior came into the woods.

“Melchior!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing his hair in a cool handsome gofik way like Jonathan Groff and Austin McKenzie. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into German School together making out. 

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I was really scared about Svten Saetr all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic rock band Bloody Shooted Head 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between Priapia, Michael Arden and MCR. The other people in the band are Ilse, Sad, Melchior, Marianna (although we call her Anna now. She has dark dark dark brown hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Enrst.

Only today Melchior and Sad were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Melchior was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Sad was probably reading a depressing thing like Othello. I put on a black leather jacket that showed off my pectorals and tight matching pair of pants that said Bitchy Living on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘My Junk’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Moritz! Are you OK?” Ilse asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Steven Sater came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Hänschen! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Melchior. But if I don’t kill Hänschen, then Sater, will fucking kill Melchi!” I burst into tears. Suddenly Melchior jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!” (c is dat out of character? (yes; real melchi doesn't act like that LMAO))

I started to cry and cry. Melchior started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Knochenbrojch walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Moritz Melchior has been found in his room. He committed suicide by scattering a little earth.”

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! Ilse tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Knochenbruch chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I shot both of my eyes. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a So Dark song at full volume. I grabbed my favourite gun and almost stuck it into my mouth to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress shirt with skull buttons on it sandly. I put on black high boots with dark red metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull bracelets. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Herr Sonenstickch was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Father Kaulbach was masticating to it! They were sitting on their floating torpedos.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Winter Sleeping on it. Suddenly Sad ran in.

“LITORA MULTUM ILLE!” he yelled at Sonnenstich and Father Kaulbach pointing his womb. I cringed because latin. I took my gun and shot Sonnenstich and Kaulbach a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Knokenbrroch ran in. “Moritz, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Sonnenstich and Father Kaulbach and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Max von Trenk ran outside on his flying torpedo and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Max? You’re just a little German School student!”


“This cannot be.” Sonnenstich said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Kncochkenbruchks wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Father Kaulbach held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood and/or make fun of latin enoguh.

“Why are you doing this?” Father Kaulbach said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Macks van Throat said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by Alecx Banana Yellow.

“Because you’re goffic?” Sononsetch asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Saytan.

“Because I LOVE HIM!”

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AN: stop f,aing ok Maks von Tramp is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in garmaen skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no Suninsticknch iant kristian plus Mix da Track isn’t really in luv wif Moritz dat was mertha ok!


I was about to shoot off another facial feature with the silver gun that Melkihor had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS MaCKZ but it was Sad. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my scar turned back into Austin’s vibrato!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Anna changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the scary vibrato! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Melchi…………….Stevn Sater has him bondage!”

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my shot off eyes. Snonestitch and Kalbauch and MAKS VAN TARENK were there too. They were going to The Reformatory after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Knochenbruch had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Max came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

“Mrotiz I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up good latiners like you.” I snapped. Maxipad von Tent had been mean to me before for being gottik.

“No Mrotiz.” Maxipad says. “Those are not roses.”

“What, are they goffs too you good latiner?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Mia Khalifa (her kitty real tired) p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snonetnstitch and Kalulbackch.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)to it he added silently.

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Those you’ve known and lOST STILL WALK BEHIND YOU! .

“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Melchior consent noises Wendla consent noises Ilse consent noises Moritz consent noises(4 all u cool goffic bad latin mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute!)oOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOO LATIN SUCKS!”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a good latiner.

“OK I believe you now wtf is Mailkeywar?”

Maix van Trump rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

“U c, Mrotzi,” Kocentbrotch said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Maicks yelled. kNCOKbenbroch lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.
Macks stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, hedmaitstr kockebrock!”

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather tight dress shirt that was all ripped on the ends with cool cufflinks on it. There was some anti latin stuff on the front. Then I put on black earrings and black combat boots with pictures of Gideon Glick on them. I poofed my sky hair all out aggressively so I looked like John Gallagher Jr. from Spring Isn’t Awakening (if u don’t know who he iz ur a good latiner so fuk off!) and I put on some cologne that smelled like goths and doubled as good latin repelent.

“You look good, man.” Ilse said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I shot off my nose feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snaonemstech and Koolabach couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Sad Rilow was in the How To Ask For Consent 101 class. He looked all depressed because Melchior had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Melchi. He was sucking some blood from a good-latin.

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Hänschen had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Melchior’s. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Fräulein Knuppeldick who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Sad you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Melchior!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

“NO!” I ran up closer.

“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Anna changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Melchiro…………….Steven Sater has him bondage!”

fyi i didn't fuck up copy pasting it legitimately went over the scar twice with the exact same thing don't @ me you nasty good latiners

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AN: bob fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of junatha grubf but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! ANTI LATINZ STOP FLAMIGNG!


Sad and I ran up the stairs looking for Kronxonabch. We were so scared.

“Knochenbruch Knockykinnybruchywoochy!” we both yelled. Knochenbruch came there.

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

“Setven Saytae has Melchi!” we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Melchior!” we begged.

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Sater does to Melchior. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Moritz.” he said while he frowned looking at me and imagining Melchior’s really detailed drawings of the LABIA MAJORA. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway. He yelled ‘yes’ at me once and that hurt my feelings.” then he walked away. Sad started crying. “My Melchi!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Svaters lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Pussycat cream skimming!” It was……………………………….. Skevene Satater! 

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AN: im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I shooted of mai hed. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!



We ran to where Sbater was. It turned out that Stacen Satur wasn’t there. Instead the fat guy who killed Martha was. Melchi was there crying tears of blood. Jonathan “B” Wright was torturing him. Sad and I ran in front of Jonathan.

“Rid my sight you despicable anti-latiners!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.

“MoritzIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

“Huh?” I asked. ”Mrotitz I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Jonathan B Wright. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

“Jonathan B Wright what art thou doing?” called Steven Spraytan. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our torpedoes and we flew to German School. We went to my room. Sad went away. There I started crying.

“What’s wrong, Ritz?” asked Melchior taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other boys and latiners here except for you, because you’re not ugly or anything.”

“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the other dudes anyway. They are such fucking religious non-atheists.” answered Melchior.

“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Sonnenstich and Father Kaulbach took a video of me naked. Max von Trenk says he’s in love with me. Sad likes me and now even Jonathan B Wright is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Melchi! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory mrogitz isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away. 

Chapter Text

“Moritz Moritz!” shouted Melchior sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Sad!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Winter Sleeping on it. They all looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Melchi and Sad. I started to cry and weep. I took a pistol and started to shoot all the bumps on my face. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black Priapia watch and noticed it was time to go to Abortion class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress shirt that said Drunk In The Snow on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black trousers and boots that said Don't Do Sadness all over them with blood red letters. I put my poofed my ebony brown sky hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Abortion work. I was turning a unborn baby into a bloody baby. Suddenly the baby turned to Nelchuor!

“Meoitz I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker latiners and fakes fink. Ur da most beautiful boi in the world. Before I met you I used to want to scatter a little earth all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “All That’s Known” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when he was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Jonathan Groff, Austin McKenzie, Kyle Riabko, Matt Doyle and Jake Epstein (AN: don’t u fink dos melki actrsz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking latiners stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in residual shot-off face matter and were entwined with Melchior’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Fräulein Großebüstenhalter (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and Georg in a Piano Story. Then we went away holding hands. Kaulbacjk shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Germancity right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

Chapter Text

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut pro laytenirz! BTW fangz 2 mai gurlfreidn 4 techin muh japnese!


We ran happily to Germancity. There we saw the stage where Priapia had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘The Consensual Ones’. I was so fucking happy! Groff looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Melcior thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a long black overcoat and black leather combat boots with red laces. Melchior was wearing a black dress shirt and black tight pants and blood red suspenders. Anyway, we stated moshing to The Consensual Ones. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Austin McKenzie pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Sayster and da Hernst Hernias!

“Wtf Melchior im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

“We won’t do that again.” Melchiof promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a fake or a pro latiner or what now?”

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

“R u becoming a LATINER or what?” I shootd angrily.

“Mrotiz! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Desdemona Won’t Pray’ by Priapia to me.

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

Ilse was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she sex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Ernst that fucking poser got expuld. he failed al his klasses and he skepped consent class.” (an: ERNST U FUKIN SUK! FUK U! DUNB PARIEST WNANNABEE!)

“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic hror movies like Wendla Gets An Abortion. “Maybe Ernst will die too.” I said.

“Kawai.” Isle shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after he got expuld I murdered him and den Kauhlbaka did it with hism cause he’s a necphilak.”

“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with melki tonight in Germancity with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

Islel Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”

“In Abgestorben Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Abgestorben Topic Loiyalty carde.

“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Ilse are u a PRO LATINER?”

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near German School that’s all.”

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Melchior or Anna or Sad(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

“Kncokenvroch.” She sed. “Let me just call our tropeodoes.”

“OMFFG KNOCKENVAROKCH?” I asked quietly.

“Yah I saw the map for Germancity on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Germancity. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN A BRIDE EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few outfits. “We only have these for da real goffs.”

“Da real goffs?” Me and Ilse asked.

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many fakes ther are in this town man! Yesterday kaulbajxh and snonnestitxj tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” she shook her head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress shirt with lots of red bloodstains near the neck and very goffick skull and moon buttons.

“Oh my latinsucks you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said Ilse.

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” she asked.

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s motirz dark’ness dementia GALLAGHER stiefel what’s yours?”

“Greta Brandenburg.“ She said and ran a hand through her black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf Melkior you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before she could beg me to go with him, Makcks van Trank flew in on his black tornpadeo looking worried. “OMFG MBORITS U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” 

Chapter Text

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a pro latinr den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a latinur or not by ma quiz itz on ma wubsite. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz bob isn’t rely a pro latin. Bob plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!


Greta Brandenburg gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. She said she wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz zhe was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (shes bisezual). Maks can Tarank kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Getman School. “WTF Max?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Ernst came. Max von Twink went away angrily.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Ernsts really handsome and everything. He was wearing a short black dress shirt thingy with a blood red tie on it and a blak blood-red pare of pants, leather black poiny boots that showed off how pale he wuz. He had a really nice body wif big balz and dik and everything. He was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Melchi?” he asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

“I’m gong with Anna.” he anserred happily. Well anyway Melchi and Anna came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Anna was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘You’re My Junk’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Machael Ardin. Melchior was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black Priapia t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Hayloft tower. Ilse was going 2 da concert wif Georg. Georg used to be called Georgie Worgie but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were anti-latin vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Georg converted to Satanism and he went gofh. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black t-shirt with bloodred splatters, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif curled red streekz at da ends. Well anyway we al went 2 Melchis black Train-Car (geddit cuz the author thinks everyone drove trains I'M SORRY) that his mama Fanny Gabor gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Melchi and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking pro latins. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Jonathan Groff was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had curly brown hair n piercing eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Judith Ford and sum odder songz. Sudenly Jonathan polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Joanayjan at all! It was an ugly pro-latin man wif a big big big big nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Melchi. Melchior and I came. It was…….Stavm Satr and da Hernst Hernias!

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Mrotizt, I told u to kill Sad. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Melchi!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his todpedo. He had shirt black hair and no looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘did u write this herr gabor’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Saytae ran away. It was…………………………………KNOCJKEBNBROCH! 

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AN: bob fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of junatha grubf but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! ANTI LATINZ STOP FLAMIGNG!


Sad and I ran up the stairs looking for Kronxonabch. We were so scared.

“Knochenbruch! Knockykinnybruchywoochy!” we both yelled. Knochenbruch came there.

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

“Setven Saytae has Melchi!” we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Melchior!” we begged.

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Sater does to Melchior. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Moritz.” he said while he frowned looking at me and imagining Melchior’s really detailed drawings of the LABIA MAJORA. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway. He yelled ‘yes’ at me once and that hurt my feelings.” then he walked away. Sad started crying. “My Melchi!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Svaters lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Pussycat cream skimming!” It was……………………………….. Skevene Satater! 

Chapter Text

All day we sat angerly finking about Kockenkoxkenvroxh. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Melchior was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his curly brawn hare went in his big blue eyes like Daniel Durant from Signing Slays. He was wearing black tigert paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im antiblatin) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather pants, black high cumboob boots and a cross finger fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun (dats rely hard 2 do wit mi ske hawr) like Lea Michele in Mama Who Killed Me.

“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.

“Buy-but-but-” he grunted, sounding like JD.

“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.

“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cringing. Melchior banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody tears streammed down my cheeks and made cool tear sreks down my feces like Otto in the performance of Pianos and Masturbation. I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke crack.

Suddenly Maks came. He had appearated.

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my cegorate. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da bouz room?”

Only it wasn’t just Mass. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Greta or maybe Melchior but it was Kockchenbrike.

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-anti latin purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”

“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.

“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of anti latins and goffs were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Melckior has a surprise for u.” 

Chapter Text

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder overkoat, a blak shitr with urple paytern stuff all over it, an black gothic context boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Sateur had taken over the last one. I shot off my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to The Ballad of Consent (FT. Katie Boeck and Lea Michele). I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Melchior so we could do it again.

“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Kaulxboch! “R u gonna cum rape me or what bekauz. U don't have my consernt.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Kncokenbvroch had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snonnestitsj since he was a pedo.

“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.

“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.

“Fuker.” He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black beackelts, blackand red contaxts, and some black errings (my ears warnt peerced so I shoot hols in dem). Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Sonenstirxh and Kaulbxoj were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Duncan Sheik was watching!1

“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dumbcan ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking pro latin. (btw sonenstiyxh is movd 2 griffindoor now)

“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Kockblock shouted angrily.

“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.

“You dimwit!.” Sexystitch began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”

“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Knokenbroke. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my goon at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Sad Rilow, looking extremely fucking hot.

“WTF where’d Melchi?” I asked him.

“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Sad said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”

Then….. he showed me his flying Train-Car. I gasped. It was black. He said his uncle Depression Rilow had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed V1N3YARD on it. The one on da back said ‘MROTIZ’ on it.

……….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Sad and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Groff was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Scatter A Little Hurt’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Melchior, cryin in a corner.

Chapter Text

Later we all went in the skull. Melchior was crying in da common room. “Melchi are u okay?” I asked in a anti-latin voice.

“No I’m not u fuking bitch!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would scatter a little earth.

“Its ok Meotiz.” said Sad comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”

“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Melchior. Sasd came too.

“Mekxhior please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a hobophobe den fuk of!)

And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Sad got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the ghost lady Martha (reast in death) there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in her hand.

“WHOSE THERE!” She shouted angrily. We saw her cat Martha Jr come. She went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled ghost Mertha.

“No fuck u you daddy fuking little latin sun of a fukcing bich!” Sad said under his breast in a disgusted way.

“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Martha. Den she heard Marrha Jr meow. “Mertsh Jr is der any1 unda da cloak!” she asked. Martha Jr nodded. And then……………………….Sad frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Martha was taking of da cloak!1

“MEOTIZ VUT WAT ABOUT MEL-” she yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum her. And den we saw Melchior crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his throat outside of da school.

“Melchiro!” I cried. “R u okay?”

“I guess though.” Melchior weeped. We went back to our beds frenching each other. Melchior and I decided to watch Consent XXX (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and da Mystery of Sex walked into the school!1 

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AN: stfu! patins stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz gohst marta itz bobs folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding bob u fokieng rok latinsers suk!1


All day everyone talked about the Misery of Sex. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my fore post bed so I opened my eyes. I was wearing blak ripped leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where……………….I’lse, Hänschen, Anna, Melchior, Georg and Ernst! I opened my crimson eyes. Ernst was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody grapes all over it. Under that he wart a black riped pant wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Sad was wearing a baggy Bitchy Living t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Melchior was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Jonayhan Groff, and almost as fucking sexy. Sad looked like Andy Mientus. Ilse was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and Priapia lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Lauren Pritchard wear once. Thea was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Otto and Melitta. It turns out that Thea, Anna, Otto and Melitta’s dad was a latin nerd. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a gun. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became anti latin and converted to Stanism.“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Meoitz something is really fucked up.” Melchior said.

“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Melchior said in a sexy voice.

“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

“I will I will.” he said.

So I just brushed out my sky hair to make it be even taller and poofier. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Wendla from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a white mini and a floral crop top we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Knocjenbook. Alex Boneyello was there shouting at Knockenbreast. Daniel Durant was there too.




“Very well.” Kocknenbroch said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Sater and he is in the school. And his name is…………………………………………………………………..Moritz Dark’ness Dementia Gallagher Stiefel.”

Melchior, Otto, Melitta, Thea, Ernst, Sad and Ilse looked at each other………I gasped.

Chapter Text

The door opened and Proffesor Durant and Alex Banana stomped out angrily. Then Kokembroke and Deodorant sawed us.

“MR. STIEFEL WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Daniel sign languaged angrily. Kmokembroch blared at him.

“Oops he made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “He means hi everybody cum in!”

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Thea and Melchior and opposite Ilse. Otto and Melitta started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Spring Awake characters. I eight some Gunshot Soup and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Sad! He and Melchior were shooting at eachother.

“Sad, Melchi WTF?” I asked.

“You fucking cream-skimming pussy cat!” yelled Melchior at Sad. “I want to shit next to her!1”

“No I do!” shouted.

“No she doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Melhior.

“No fuck you litora multum ille head ass she laves me not you!” shouted Sad. And then……………… he jumped on Melchior! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Konochenbrook yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible man with red eyes and bad Hernst flew in on his torpedo. He had a big nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Wendla that fucking prep started to cry. Sad and Melchior stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Scander Sader!!!

“Mrotiz…..Morbids…….” Darth Svader sed evilly in his raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Hänschen as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Meochior too!”

“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.

“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Melchior and Sad Rilow came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all anti latin and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Sayetr coming to kill Melchior while Melchior slit his throwt in a depressed way.

“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

“Moritz Norirz aure you alright?” asked Melchi in a worried voice.

“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.

“Everyfing’s all right Norits.” said Sad all sensetive.

“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Abortion Horror Storry!”

“Its ok gurl.” said Ilse. “Maybe u should ask Proffesor Schmidt about what the visions mean though.”

“Ok bich.” I said sadly and den we went. 

Chapter Text

AN: anti latins stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 bob fagz 4 di help!


Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Krysta Rotriguez about the visions.

“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Rockgruzes in Japenese Sign Fingers . She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead browine black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She’s also haf Deaf so she speaks it and everyfing. she n ilsuh get along grate) She’s really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather dess with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Michael Arden the Director. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black bracklets with red pentagrams on it.

“What is it Ebony?” she asked. “Hey I love ur breaks where’d u get it, Abgestorben Topik?”

“Yeah.” I answered. All the latiners who didn’t know what AT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”

“Ho about now?” she asked.

“OK.” I said.

“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Krystsal said and she let every1 go. “Except for you Wendla.” she pointed at Wendla and sum other latiners. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 69.”

“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Melchor gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal (lik her lol) ball to lock in. I looked at it.

“What do you c?” she asked.

“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Malchiror. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic So Dark t-shirt and blak Cars shoes.

“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Kerysta Rockstar.

“Bye bitch.” I said waving.

I went to Melcchior and Hansjcen was sitting next to him. We both followed Melhcior together and I was so exhibited. 

Chapter Text

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Groof 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da rusians 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1


I was so excited. I fellowed Melchior wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Melchior’s black train car.

“Mortitties what the fuck did Krysta The Understudy say.” whispered Melchorp potting his gothic whit hand with ink splatters on mine.

“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a maraiguana weed roll and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the train car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Melchior put on some MCR.

“And I like your coochie— consensually! I love your body— consensually! I want to show you where the figs lie— cONSENSUALLY!.” sang Jonathan’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong boxers and my black leather undershirt. I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my pooper sexily.

“OMFG Melchiro MELCORE!” I screamed having an organisim. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two anti latin men with long black hair.

“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.

“Moritz what’s wrong?” Melchior asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Melchiro to call Sad. He did it with his blak iPad mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Fanny Gabroar and Depression Rilow!111 

Chapter Text

A few mutates later Handjcen came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather hat, black leather pants and a dark white masturbation robe.

“Hi Sad.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Melchior hugged me angstily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of butterfly blood and then told them what happened.

“Oh fuck it!” Sad shouted angrily. Him started to cry sadly. “What fucking non-pussy cat did that!”

“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Kncohekenbruch.”

We ran out of the tree and in2 da schol. Kmcokenbroke was sitting in his office.

“Headmasturbator our parejts have been shot!” Meckior said while he whipped sum atheist tears from his white face. “Mroritz had a vision in a dreem.”

Koreanbush started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Mortitz’s not dilutional?”

I glared at him.

“Look pianofucker.” he said angrily as Kncokenroke gasped. “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Fanny and Depression Rilow- pornto!”

“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Germany.” I said. I told him which continent it was in. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Melchiro, Hanskcen and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Melchi to wait in the nurses office while Sad went to slit his penis to poetry in his room. We looked at each other’s gay, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Fanny and Depression came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Krysta Rodgreiguez was behind them!1

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AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u latins fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I shotted oof mai hed nd I had 2 go 2 da hospital!11111111111111111111


Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Malchiro, Depression, Fanny bond Sad all came to hug me. The abortionist started to give them medicine.

“Cum on Moritited.” said Proffesor Keysat Rodgreisez. She was wearing a gothic blak sign language dress with an understudy top and fake Austin McKenzie blood on it and fuking black gold boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

I locked at Farty, Depressed, Malibu and Sadness. They nodded.

I smalled happily and went into a dark room. Profesor Kuyrzta took out some black cards. She started to look into a black KRYSTAL ball. She said……………………… “John Gallagher Jr, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She looked into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like Ilse had. “When Stebn Sayer was in German School before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken by Dunkcan Shiekl. Now do you fink he would still become Satan Spraytan if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. We did an anti latin secret asl sign. I went outside again sadly.

“What fucking happened?” asked Melcjor and Aad.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Thea, Ernst and Ilse?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Depression and Fanny being fondled. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Melchior. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Karnockenbrouch. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking latins were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the Dpring Awakening logo on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of it. Even Martha’s ghost looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Otto and Melitta set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Jonathans Jazzy Joke Jshop.

I put on my Invisibility trensch koat (haha geddit? bekauz taylor trensch plaeyd mrotiz!1!!!) with Hæñšçhęñ and Męłçhįœr and we snucked outside 2gether. 

Chapter Text

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, Priapia and Winter Sleeping all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of butterflies with real angels in dem. I wuz wearing a blak sweater bar wif blood stuff on it, blsk tight leather pants and blck see-theougj boxers underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs depressedly. So did Melbior and Säd.

“Are you okay?” Sadschen asked potting his depressed pussycat hand on mine. He was wearing clip on black cat claws. I was wearing a blak cross bracelet with red blood splaters on it.

“Yheaeah I guess.” I said sadly. Melchiror also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my depressed butterfly lips. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Steven Sater. Ill have 2 go bak in time”

Melchior started to cry sadly. Sad hugged him.

“Itz okay Morbids.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”

“Of coarse not!” I gasped.

“Really?” he asked.

“Sure.” I said.

We frenched sexily. Hansad looked at us longingly.

Then………… I took off Melchior’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik Auburn MaKenzie And Jgonsyhan Groff (but BIGGERER!!!). He had replaced the Hanschen tattoo that now said Moritz on it. Black roses and guns and butterflies were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Jonatajn Groof. Sad took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his big boy in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

“I love you Koritz. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Sad filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….


It was………………………….Sockennstirch and Fräulein Knuppeldick!111 

Chapter Text

“Oh my naked blue angel!1” we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Sonenendtitch and Fräulein Knuppeldick started to scream at us angrily.

“CUM NOW!1!” Frau Knoupdlrdick yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Startendtitch garbed the chinmera and put it in his pocket.

“Hey what the fuck!111” Sad shooted angrily.

“Yeah you fucking Christian adult what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Melchior demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic atheist eyes. “Look, Kanockebvrokch nows your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to the Reformatory. So give back da camera!1111”

“Hahahaha the Mystery of Sex thinks he is not hard of hearing there is no way dey wil believe him.” Snosmendtitch laughed meanly.

“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Fräulein Knotteddick. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Mrlchior started to cry all sexy and angsty.

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in the off broadway ok so fok u!1). Sad took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my depressed eyes.

And then……………….. she and Snoantstekch both took out guns using adult powers. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots got on eachodder yet. I took out my pistol.

“cAuSe YoU kNoW i DoNt dO sAdNeSs!” I sing shouted. Snonenstytch stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA SONG. Frauelein Knunappledick did a thing so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Herr Sonnenstirjckh I’m going 2 go now.” She left. Snonensteietch started to laugh evilly. Hanschen started to cry.

“It’s ok Moritis.” said Melchior. “Everythng will be all right.” He sounded like Trina from Falsettos. “Remember da vedio u took of Snonenstartch.”

Sockandsticksh laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111

Chapter Text

“No!11” we screamed sadly. Somnendtirtch stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera. Then…………………… he cummed tords Melchior!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Melcuior and nit a candle.

“What the fuck r u doing!” I shooted arngrily. Snonsnrtitch laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Soirng Awakeninng Logo on his you-know-wut!11!

He waved his gun and a bigger gun came. He gave da big gun 2 me.

“U must shoot Hanskin.” he said to me. “If u don’t then I’ll rap Melchiiro!1”

“No you fucking bastrad!1” I yielded.

But den Melchirorir looked at me sadly with his angsty atheist 14 year old red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a mix between Jonathan Groff and Austin McKenzie. But then I looked at Sad and he looked so smexy too wif his pussycat blonde hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Melchir and Knaonknokebrucch came and the tame where Melchor almost commited scatter a little earth and Hænschen wuz so sportive.

Stonenninstch laughed angrily. He started to prey to Steven Sater. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Melchir and Sad. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my butterfly powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Melchiror and Sad so they would destruct Sonnensnatatche.

“Knockabraeokch will get u!” Melchor shooted.

“Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11” Sad yelled. Meanwhile I took out my gun.

“You meddling kids!111” Snnomenstetgh yielded. He took off all of Melchirorir’s clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…………………….

“JUST FUCK IT RIGHT ENOUGH THAT'S IT YOU’LL STILL GO ON WELL FOR A BIT!” I yells pointing my pew pew. Sneomssteitch scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak envelope and sent a letter 2 Fanny. I stopped doing my sexy singing.

“You failiure!111 Im going to kill-” shooted Snonenstetch but suddenly Fanny Gabor came.

Snakeandstintch put the whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Fanny I wuz just teaching them sumthing.” he lied. But suddenly Depression Rilow and Profesor Krysta Rodgereuz came in2 da room and they and Fannu unlocked the chains and put dem around Sonenstarsfich. Then Profesor Krytta Rodrgeguez said ‘Come on Moritz let’s go.”