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Worthy

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Sam bounced his leg thoughtlessly as he sat at the table in the bunker working on his catalogue of all the books they had along with sorting it all by monster, date, and religion. It was taking a very long time because he would easily get distracted when he would find some new interesting tidbit of information he hadn't known and get sucked into reading the book before remembering his task and getting back to work. Dean was out with Cas hunting, or fucking, probably both if Sam had to admit it. God, or Chuck as they knew him, had returned to heaven after deeming that things had finally gone too far and was cleaning up his own mess finally which left the Winchesters free to do what they had always done but now with the addition of two angel side kicks. Well one angel side kick in Cas who was really only Dean's angel at the end of the day thanks to their profound bond or whatever. Sam called it eye fucking. The other reward for their good work had been Chuck bringing back Gabriel for them as well, though Sam wasn't really sure that was a gift and not a curse yet.

Gabriel had been caught up to date with everything he missed then had promptly left the same evening and was gone for three weeks before he decided to show up again drunk and covered in hickies. He said he was celebrating being alive again but Sam had been pissed off and had easily read between the lines that Gabriel had been mourning dying and had called him out in it too leading to a fight between them that Sam barely walked away from. Pissing off an archangel wasn't normally a good idea bit it was even less of one when they were drunk and not in full control of their powers. At least Gabriel had seemed pretty sobered up after he sent Sam flying through a wall of the bunker and broken probably half of the bones in Sam's body. He quickly healed him and fixed the wall before vanishing again.

Sam had still been pissed though or maybe he was still just feeling the rage caused by the sight of his angel (or who was supposed to be his angel since that was how it worked right? Dean got Cas so Gabriel was clearly supposed to be Sam's reward for the literal hell he had gone through? Or was Gabriel punishment for Sam ruining Chuck's plans when he jumped in the cage?) covered in marks from some other person. Sam calmed down quite a bit when he realized most of his anger was stemming from jealousy and hurt rather than an actual reason to be angry. He didn't know why he was jealous and hurt exactly, just that he had to see Cas constantly at Dean's side. When Dean had nightmares Cas was there to remind him he was safe and not alone. When Sam had nightmares he had nothing but Dean's sad look the next morning reminding him that even through several walls Dean could probably still hear his screams. Was he wrong is wishing that someone cared about him the way Cas cared about his brother. He was happy for Dean, really truly happy, but it didn't stop the crushing loneliness or the depression. Still he tried to be nicer next time Gabriel stopped in. He apologized to the archangel and had tried really hard to at least reach out so they could be friends. He felt bad for lashing out when Gabriel was his own person and could do whatever he wanted and didn't belong to Sam.

But Gabriel had rejected that too. He tore into Sam in every single way that mattered. He laughed at how a human who fucked demons and drank their blood could even look at an angel and not fall to his knees to beg forgiveness. He reminded him that he had betrayed his brother so many times that Dean no longer could trust him out on his own and kept him locked away in the bunker. It was the comments about being Lucifer's bitch that finally broke Sam though. No one had known... He had never told anyone what had been done to him in the cage and had buried those memories down as deep as he could but Gabriel dragged them right to the front if Sam's mind and Sam did fall to his knees and sobbed until he passed out but when he woke Gabriel was gone. It didn't matter. He had been right. Sam didn't deserve anything from anyone least of all god or an archangel. Dean was the righteous man. Dean deserved his reward. Sam was lucky he was allowed to even look at his brother now let alone be in the same room as him or Cas.

That brought Sam back to the present where he was staring the screen of his laptop trying to see it through his tears. He had been trying to work on anyway he could redeem himself to his brother. He never argued with Dean, never denied a request and did as much as he could to make his life easier. Like digitalize the Bunker's library. Dean hated reading and researching so if Sam could get everything onto the computer Dean would only have to search key words to find what he needed once Sam was gone. Sam had no doubts he wouldn't be around for much longer. His soul was crumbling and Death had promised no one could bring him back this time. Maybe Death would have mercy on him in this final death and let him go somewhere peaceful.

"Heya Sammy! What are you up to?" Gabriel's cheerful voice confused Sam who immediately feel to his knees in front of him and bowed his head their last conversation fresh in his mind. "What the hell?! Sam what are you doing? Get up off the floor! Are you okay?" Gabriel asked actually sounding concerned as he grabbed Sam's arm and dragged him back up into the chair he had been sitting in before touching his forehead but Sam flinched away violently.

"You were right. I don't deserve to be in the presence of even a seraph like Castiel much less a prince of heaven like you. I don't know why you're pretending to care now but if this is a punishment I will take it." Sam murmured quietly and flinched again when Gabriel moved as if he expected Gabriel to hit him or something which made Gabriel's grace twist more uncomfortably than it had when he realized Sam had been bowing to him.

"Um, what?! I never said anything even remotely in the the realm of that statement. Even if I had why the fuck would you believe me? Thats the most stupid thing I have even heard and I have met your brother." he said trying to coax a smile or something out of Sam who was still refusing to look at him instead letting his shaggy unkept hair fall into his face. "What happened to you Sam? You're skin and bones kiddo and the bags under your eyes have bags. When did you last eat? or sleep?" He asked and Sam frowned feeling more and more confused but not willing to test why the archangel had started to be nice again.

"The food is better left for Dean. I only eat what's necessary and I sleep when I absolutely have to. I need to digitalize the library then I'm going to organize all the weapons and artifacts as well as digitalize the locations of all of them so Dean can find exactly what he needs without wasting time searching. I need to get this done before I die so that when I'm gone it's easier for him. At least I can do something to make up for ruining his life and breaking the planet." He murmured digging his nails into his skin fighting back the tears that were threatening to start to fall again.

Gabriel torn between horror and rage as he stared at the broken shell of what had been Sam Winchester. Where the devil himself couldn't break him apparently Gabriel could and did. Only it hadn't been him. He loved the stupid moose of a hunter too much to ever dream of doing something like this to him. No, it hadn't been him, but once he found out who it was they were going to be sorry they messed with what was his.

"Okay Sammy. I'm the super special prince of heaven huh? So you have to listen to what I say?" He asked and waited for Sam to nod though he hated how tense those words made Sam, the hunter clearly expecting Gabriel to demand something awful from him.

"Then I want you to go shower and put on clean clothes. Comfortable clothes. pajamas or sweats or something. Do you understand me?" He said seriously and Sam nodded again slowly as if he was waiting for something else but Gabriel shook his head.

"Right now thats all I want from you. Consider yourself taken into my service. You will listen to what I say and do what I tell you. So go on." Gabriel said again and Sam stood up and hurried off to do as he was told.

Gabriel sighed and rubbed his face hating having to exercise authority like that over others even when he had been in heaven he had hated when his brothers looked at him like a prince rather than family. But whatever broke Sam had left him with no other way to get through to him. So he would just have to show Sam he was worthy of love and freedom and redemption just as much as the rest of them. He would get his Sam back no matter what.