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I Thought I'd Vocalize My Troubles

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“What time is she gonna be there tomorrow?” Hunter's voice is soft, and Daniel shifts in his seat to face him more directly.


“Don’t know” he murmurs, fingertips toying with the leather bench, “I think she said like, eleven? But that depends on how hungover she is when she wakes up,” there’s a distant, almost fond smile, but the sadness surrounding the air around them still hangs with a pressure that's nearly suffocating. “I might be able to talk my way into coming back for Christmas. That’s only four months.” Daniel's voice is barely above a whisper, “And we can call, like, every day?”


Hunter lets out a long, slow exhale. “This is a really shitty going-away party.”


Daniel gives his usual soft, airly laugh. “Shoulda took me to the pile of rubble that used to be the drive-in.”


That earns a chuckle in return. “Yeah? And give you a handjob in the back seat while we pretend they’re showin’ Child’s Play?”


“Sounds romantic to me,” Daniel shrugged, a lopsided smirk playing at his lips.


“‘M gonna fuckin’ miss that smart mouth.” Hunter laments, leaning forward until there’s just below an inch of space between their mouths, “You really not gonna put out unless I take you somewhere? I got less than 24 hours left with you.”


Daniel's gaze flips back and forth between Hunter's eyes and his lips before he swallows and finds the ability to form words, “But what if I want it to be special? Wouldn’t you telling everyone I’m ‘easy’ when I’m not around.”


Hunter scoffs, “I saw the way you were looking at me before I even introduced myself to you. Surprised you didn't cream yourself right in the fuckin’ driveway.”


And there's that adorable giggle that lights up Daniel's eyes.



“Jesus,” Daniel sighs in a playfully exasperated tone. Any hint of sincerity would be undercut by the deep flush that’s covered his chest, ears, cheeks. “Gonna cover every inch of me?”


Hunter scrapes his teeth against Daniel's inner thigh. “Can’t have you tryin’ to replace me while you’re gone.” He bites down on the delicate flesh softly, releasing just as quickly, and presses a kiss to a red mark on Daniel's thigh that’s already trying to fade. “Everyone needs to know you’re mine.”


Daniel exhales a shaky breath and props his weight up on one elbow, looks down at Hunter and combs his fingers through the blonde’s hair. He wants to say everything that’s on his mind, reassure Hunter of their longevity, assert his absolute love and devotion, but he knows it’ll go in one ear and out the other for Hunter. He’s too used to not having anything, to having everything he cares for ripped away from him.


And Daniel knows he’s just another instance of that happening in Hunter's eyes.


Hunter looks up, feels the soft scratch of Daniel's nails against his scalp as his head moves, and sighs softly as he sees the tears welling up in Daniel's eyes. He sits up and presses a kiss to Daniel's hipbone, his navel, the protruding curve of his ribcage, his sternum, his left collarbone, the ball of his shoulder, just barely against his jugular, and lastly on his cheekbone. “Hey,” Hunter whispers, and Daniel remains silent save for his shaky inhales. “Talk to me.”


“Stupid.” Daniel laughs, and it sounds absolutely pathetic. He tips his head back, and Hunter watches Daniel's eyelashes flutter a few times before he’s looking back down at Hunter once again, telltale flush on his nose and cheekbones and a few stray tears clinging to his eyelashes, but otherwise composed. His hand moves to squeeze Hunter's bicep firmly, more to ground himself than anything. “‘M sorry.”


Hunter presses a kiss to the bridge of Daniel's nose, whispers ‘don’t’ against the flesh so quietly Daniel almost doesn’t catch it.


Daniel's eyes focus on Hunter's shoulder for a few seconds, and he takes several deep breaths to center himself. Or perhaps more to fight another onslaught of tears. “Hunter.” His voice is shaking, and his eyes move up, but he can only bring himself to look as close as the shell of Hunter's ear.


“I love you, Hunter.”


He hears Hunter exhale, feels the body on top of him shift slightly, and Hunter's hand moves to cup the back of his neck. It’s only then that Daniel's eyes finally meet the teal orbs. Hunter's eyes scan Daniel's face, Daniel's eyes, but he says nothing. Hunter closes the gap between them, kisses Daniel insistently with no regard to if Daniel was going to reciprocate. The hand on Daniel's neck moves down, tucks itself between Daniel's lower back and the seat of the bench.


They kiss like its the only thing they know how to do, like its all they need to survive. They barely give each other enough time to take a breath before their lips are slotting together again, tongues exploring each other's mouths as if it’s their first time, teeth gently nipping and pulling the sensitive flesh of each other’s lips. Daniel's nails dig into Hunter's biceps so hard the tips of his fingers are white. Hunter holds their bodies together as tight as he can. As if all it took was enough effort and their bodies could meld together like liquid, and they would never have to face the idea of separation.


“Please.” Daniel pants between kisses, “Please.”


Hunter nods and slowly sits up, Daniel following him every inch of the way so their lips wouldn’t chance the possibility of parting. It’s a struggle of shuffling limbs and hastily tugging at Hunter's clothes to put him at an equal state of undress as Daniel.



The drive out of Hyannis is reasonably silent, save the occasional sniffle from Daniel and the sound of Hunter's palm rubbing back and forth on Daniel's thigh. It feels like that two-inch patch of skin is going numb under the repetitive motion, but Daniel doesn’t have a single intention to stop Hunter. Each foot closer to his aunt’s house makes Daniel feel more and more like he’s going to suffocate.


Neither of them is ready for this, and they both know it.


A shaky exhale leaves Daniel's lungs as Hunter is putting the car in park a few houses down from their destination.


Daniel opens his mouth but struggles to find something to say. Hunter closes the gap between them, gently gripping Daniel's chin and turning his head away from the window. His eyes and nose are such a deep red already, and Hunter can see the few stray tears that are already trailing down Daniel's cheeks.


“I'm gonna fuckin’ miss you." Hunter sighs, swiping one of Daniel's tears away with his thumb. Daniel swallows audibly and nods before taking a few deep breaths.


“I’ll come back.” He promises in a whisper, finally meeting Hunter's gaze. “As soon as I can.”


Hunter presses a kiss to Daniel's cheekbone and sighs.


“She’s not here yet anyway,” Daniel nods towards the house, “We’ve got time to kill.”



Daniel heaves a sigh when he sees the beat-up station wagon pull up a few yards away from them. Hunter notices but doesn’t say anything. Daniel tries to ignore the building tension, tries to distract himself from it.


“By the way, if you fuck anyone else in my car you're dead.”


Hunter's smile matches Daniel's. “That junker? I promise any cum stains are just me. Preservin’ your memory and all.”


Daniel's nose wrinkles but that action betray the joy in his eyes. “And what will I have to remember you by?” He cups the side of his neck, digging his fingers into two of the fresh red marks. “These don’t last very long.”


Hunter thinks about it for for a few seconds before he's scooting forward in his seat by a few centimeters and retreating his arms from his jacket, pulling it off and dropping it onto Daniel's lap with a smirk. Daniel looks at the garment then back to Hunter. This is the same jacket Hunter wore the first day they saw each other. He looked like an absolute stupid jackass sporting leather in the ninety-six-degree summer heat. He takes it into his hands hesitantly, as if he's afraid this is a joke. As if Hunter would rip it from his hands like this is a cruel prank.


“You're serious?”


Hunter nods, and Daniel is immediately throwing the jacket over his shoulders, reveling in the residual warmth of Hunter's body. It's certainly not built for his frame, the sleeves reach his knuckles, and the shape of the jacket is about two sizes too big on his frame. It even smells like Hunter.


“I probably look ridiculous.” Daniel laughs nervously, fingertips toying with the bottom button.


“You look so fucking cute." Hunter purrs, pulling Daniel closer by his hips and capturing his lips in a kiss. He pulls back despite Daniel’s whine and sighs. “Probably shouldn’t keep her waiting. Can’t have a bad first impression with my in-law.”


Daniel bites his lip and looks forward, then back to Hunter. “You can meet her if you want.”


Hunter shakes his head. Daniel sighs. They both know Hunter’s reputation is best kept as far away from Daniel’s personal life as possible.




Hunter squeezes Daniel’s thigh before placing his hand back on the steering wheel. His eyes are fixed forward, his face unreadable. Daniel places a kiss to Hunter’s shoulder and grabs his bag from the back seat. He steps out of the car and closes the door gently, throwing his backpack over his shoulder and slouching down to look at Hunter.


“I love you, Hunter.” he sees Hunter’s Adam's apple bob, but he provides no further reaction. “I’ll call you as soon as I get home.”


He tries to hold back his tears as he walks away from the car, tries to put on as casual of an act as possible when he sees his mother finally take notice of his arrival. It doesn’t work. He throws his bag in the backseat, sits passenger, and surrenders to the tears welling up in his eyes.