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my guy pretty like a girl

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He’s sitting in Marc's bed with his back against the wall, Lana Del Ray is playing in the background and Marc leans against his shoulder to not lose balance while he opens the mascara tube. Marc had just had an entire tube of mascara laying around in his room, it amazed Sieger, he feels watched even smelling body washes with pink tints at the store.

The tube makes a pop like sound when Marc finally manages to unscrew it and he sees the sleek black wand glide out easy. It makes something unscrew in his stomach, Marc is going to paint that on him and it should be weird but Sieger feels almost eager. The confusion and shame are pushed into the backseat as Lana Del Rays “Cause I'm young and in love, I'm young and in love” fills the room and Marcs hands move up towards his face. One stops at his shoulder for stability but the other one countines up, Sieger has never let anyone else be this close to his face for this long but he feels cherished and loved, like he really does matter even if he’ll never be as cool as Eddy and all the girls that like him, he’ll always have Marc and that’s exponentially better.

“Okay this is probably going to feel a little weird since it’s your first time wearing it but I promise you get used to it” Marc says while he starts stroking the wand against Siegers eyelashes. There are no words in Siegers brain but ‘Marc’ and he’s thankful Marc is so focused on his eyes because he doesn’t trust himself not to not embarrass himself.

The mascara wand moves from his left eye to his right eye but his mind never moves from 'Marc' , never stops thinking about how getting Marc's undivided attention in this moment is better than anything else he’s ever had.

“You know it’s not a failure to not be like your brother? Or i guess what I’m trying to say is it’s not a failure to be gay” said Marc and his hand falters a little, “I know it can be weird to not fit into society's norm before you’ve made peace with it but it’s so important to me that you know that, one, I love you no matter what, and two, that it’s a gift to be gay, you are a gift to me”

Siegers word still don’t seem to work and Marc is so close he can’t help but reach out and lay his palm over Marcs neck. The mascara wand is put away and Marc leans in closer to Sieger and their noses brush together and he stops to rest his cheek against Marcs. They stay like that and Marc seems content to stay silent while he moves his hand from Siegers shoulder to over his heart instead.

After a few minutes Kodaline changes into ABBA and Sieger raises his head and rolls his eyes at Marc. “Really? Is this what you listen to when you run?” he says to which Marc responds “No stupid, this is my love playlist I listen to it to feel like a big fat homo and in love with you”

Marc removes his hand from Sieger to grab the pocket mirror lying on the floor besides his bed and hands it to Sieger. “You look great in mascara by the way, that ticks off another thing on my “boyfriend must haves” list” he says and laughs. Sieger grabs the mirror and looks at himself, it’s weird, his eyes look bigger and his whole look softened. For a second he feels as if this was all a mistake, as if he has written on his face “hey i'm GAY” but when Marc strokes his hair again he knows it’ll all be okay. He IS gay, and even if he couldn’t go out in mascara right now he has the world's best boyfriend and he will be okay.