It's been a few months now.
Shizuo and I really haven't had as much time together as I was hoping for.
After that dinner at Shinra's - which was quite a source of amusement - we both realized that we did, in fact, have lives. As much as we wanted to be together twenty-four seven, we couldn't just lock ourselves away from the world that continued to go on around us. I had work to be done and Shizuo has his bodyguard gig in Ikebukuro.
Though, is it really both of us that wants to spend a lot of time together? Maybe I'm being stupid in thinking that he wants to see me more than this. Is it just me?
I'm being ridiculous again. I need to stop over-analyzing and being overly critical. I really need to remember that Shizuo and I are happy. I can't let myself screw this up by overthinking everything.
I can't stop myself from thinking that everything will be different now. It isn't. Well, relationship wise, it is. Job and real life wise, it isn't. Though I have been daydreaming, every now and then, that the door to my Shinjuku flat will get passionately kicked down in the middle of the day. I keep fantasizing that Shizuo will bust in, throw me down on my desk and we'll get lost in each other, forgetting everything else...
If I'm honest with myself, we have seen each other enough by normal people's standards. But is it really ever enough? I've taken up residence in Shinjuku again so I can be close enough but not too easily accessible. I laugh at myself when I realize how ridiculous that makes me sound. I want to be easily accessible! I want to see him whenever I want. I want him to want to see me whenever he wants.
My phone rings suddenly, startling me out of my thoughts. I sigh as I pick it up, glancing at the caller ID before ignoring the call. It's just my current client. Such a bothersome fellow.
My phone notifies me of a voicemail followed by a text message and I can't help but roll my eyes. "Pushy. How many times do I have to tell you... I'll be in touch," I mutter to myself as I turn my full attention back to my computer.
I raise an eyebrow when I hear my doorbell ring. I blink as I look down at the time, realizing I had gotten lost in my research for about an hour. I spin in my chair and glance out the window with an absent minded sigh. I can't help but notice how beautiful the sky looks, seemingly set ablaze as the sun has dropped below the horizon. When the hell did I get so sentimental?
Continuing to ignore the door, I get up from my chair and walk over to stand in front of the window. I look down at the buzz of the people far below as they head home from work or out to dinner with a significant other or just wandering aimlessly. Maybe I should take a trip to Ikebukuro. I haven't seen Shizuo in a few days now...
An almost irritated knock makes me turn my head toward the door. I feel a hopeful look cross my face as I make my way almost carefully to open the door. I pause momentarily to look through the peephole and a smile finds its way across my lips. I slowly unlock the door and swing it inward. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" I ask leaning against the half opened door.
Shizuo is looking at me with a raised eyebrow as he holds up a bag. "I texted you a while ago but you didn't respond. I thought you had probably gotten lost in your work and I had a sneaking suspicion that you had forgotten to eat dinner," he says, trying to keep the sneaky smile off his face.
"That is quite the creepy look there, Shizu-chan. I can't help but be weary of you when you show up unannounced bearing gifts." I raise an eyebrow as I keep the door half-closed, making it hard for Shizuo to enter. "What expectations do you have if I accept your kind offer of..." I pause to peek closer at the bag. "Oh, dear. Russia sushi? How ever will I be expected to repay you for this gift?"
"I'm sure we can come up with something," Shizuo says darkly as he smirks at me. "Now, are you going to let me in, Izayaaa?"
I shiver at the way he lets the last syllable of my name drag out slowly before opening the door all the way and motioning him in with a smile. He steps in and pauses right in front of me almost reluctantly. "What is it, Shizuo?" I question him almost nervously.
"I just..." He stops and shakes his head, grinning widely, making my heart pound in my chest. Shizuo then pulls me into his arms closely and rests his forehead against mine, causing me to sigh happily. "I just missed you, is all," he breathes before catching my lips in a sweet, tender kiss.
"I guess I missed you, too," I murmur against his lips before pulling back and sneaking out of his grasp. "Now... I didn't realize I was hungry until you dangled sushi in my face." I snatch the bag out of his hand and head back into my flat, making my way to sit on the couch. I set the bag down on the coffee table, hearing Shizuo shut the door quietly before following me.
"Oi, flea. What are you waiting for?" he asks as he sits down next to me on the couch, watching me carefully. "Eat, damn it. You're too skinny as it is."
I chuckle at him before opening the bag and pulling out the food. "I was waiting for you, stupid," I say, snapping the takeout chopsticks apart then looking at him curiously, "What about you? Where's yours?"
Shizuo rubs the back of his neck sheepishly - something that has begun to kill me - before smiling guiltily. "I... I already ate," he admits carefully. "Tom wanted to treat me to dinner since I had been so calm and patient with our asshole clients this week."
I raise an eyebrow and grin at him. "Why do you look so guilty?" I tease him with laughter in my voice, as I reach over to pluck the sunglasses off his face and toss them aside. "Can you not wear these when we're alone... and inside? But seriously, did you think I'd be upset that you ate without me? Or maybe jealous?"
"Hell, I don't know! The littlest thing seems to set you off," he mumbles in response causing me to pout. "Hey... don't be cute. Eat your fatty tuna, flea."
"Fine... but not because you told me to," I say with a smirk as I take a slow, savoring bite out of the first piece of sushi. I glance at Shizuo with a small satisfied smile. "Are you going to watch me eat?"
"Yeah," he answers without thinking, his eyes locked on my lips. He quickly blinks after realizing what he said and he turns away to hide the embarrassed blush that spreads across his cheeks. "I mean... I don't know, damn it. Why do you continue to affect me so much, Izaya?"
I chuckle before eating the rest of my first piece of sushi. "Does it bother you?"
"I guess not," Shizuo admits with a smile while I continue to eat. "Did you know that you eat really slow?"
I raise an eyebrow before taking a purposefully small bite of sushi and chew painfully slow, looking into Shizuo's soft brown eyes defiantly. "I do?" I ask innocently, earning a growl from the blonde man staring at me intently. "I would ask what that look is for, but I'm pretty sure I know the answer." I smirk before shoving the rest of the piece of nigiri in my mouth roughly.
Shizuo visibly shivers. "What the fuck, Izaya...? Stop it so I don't attack you right now," he warns quietly, his voice darkening, causing me to chuckle in response.
After a long pause, while I eat another piece of nigiri with a sigh, Shizuo clears his throat and adjusts his seat on the couch. I glance over at him, noticing a slight grimace on his face. "What's wrong, Shizu-chan?" I ask genuinely concerned.
He practically flinches before looking at me. "I don't know. I've been wondering something recently," Shizuo says carefully. "I want to talk about something that I think is kind of important but I don't want to freak you out again."
I blink rapidly, and my heart drops in my chest. "W-what is it?" I ask, setting down the chopsticks and turning to look directly Shizuo with on leg bent up on the couch. "I... I mean, is something bothering you. Something about us?"
"I don't think bothering is the right word." He pauses momentarily to look directly into my eyes. "I... I don't know. Is it just me or do you also feel like we don't get nearly enough time together?"
My mouth drops open slightly as I hear him ask the very question I had been mulling over before he showed up at my door. I can't help but laugh like an idiot.
"What the hell, Izaya?! That's not the response I was looking for!" He looks flustered and a barely visible blush covers his cheeks.
I cover my mouth with my hand to stifle my laughter. "I'm sorry. It's just... funny!" I grin and shake my head when he glares at me. "I'm not laughing at you, Shizu-chan. It's the situation that I find hilarious." I look right into Shizuo's eyes when my laughter finally subsides, a wide grin stuck on my face. "Honestly I have been thinking the same thing. So no, Shizuo. It's not just you."
Shizuo visibly relaxes and his eyes soften as he looks at me. "So you want more of me, huh?" he teases gently as he reaches over and pulls me into his arms.
"Maybe," I respond coyly, leaning into his embrace and threading the fingers of one hand into his hair, tugging slightly. "Would it be a problem with you if I did?"
"Not in the slightest," Shizuo murmurs before catching my lips with his in a hungry kiss. I smirk slightly earning a growl as he tries to push me down onto the couch but I quickly turn things around and pin him down instead.
"Now now, Shizu-chan," I say quietly with a grin as he looks up at me with need clearly visible in his eyes. "You just got here. Let's not jump right into the activity that usually makes one or both of us fall right to sleep."
He sighs and holds his hands up in defeat. "Fine," he submits but growls when I squirm subtly on top of him. "Oi... flea. Stop that if you want me to listen to you."
"Fiiiine," I sigh as I settle on top of him, resting my chin on my interlaced fingers on top of his chest. "Shizu-chaaaan..."
"What?" he asks suspiciously, looking up into my eyes.
"How do you suggest we see more of each other?" I ask, genuinely curious.
Shizuo raises an eyebrow in response. "I don't know. Can't you be... closer or something?"
"But, I already moved my main office back here so I'm closer to you again," I mutter irritably. "I don't know how else to make myself more easily accessible."
"Well," he pauses as if unsure of his next words. "Why... Why don't you, you know... I don't know. Move closer than Shinjuku?"
"What?" I ask bewildered.
"Half an hour is still a little far," Shizuo admits almost shyly, running a hand roughly through his hair. "I'd like to have even easier access to you..."
I look down at him puzzled before something clicks and I can't stop myself from grinning. "Shizu-chan," I say with an obviously sarcastic gasp. "Are you... Are you actually requesting I enter Ikebukuro?"
"Damn it, don't be cute," he blushes furiously. "I guess I am. I mean, only if you want to."
I sit up, straddling his lap. I look up in thought with pursed lips. "Well if I'm going to get a place in Ikebukuro, I have a condition." I cross my arms resolutely.
"You do, do you?" Shizuo says deadpan, as if completely expecting my response.
"Uh huh... If I move to Ikebukuro, I'd want full time Shizu-chan," I admit carefully.
He raises a curious eyebrow. "Izaya. Is that your weird way of saying you want to live with me?"
I scrunch my face in mock disgust. "Eww, see? It sounds so gross when you say it that way."
Shizuo sighs heavily before scoffing with a shake of his head. "You're ridiculous. You know that? But fine. I wouldn't mind 'full time' Izaya, as well. Do you want to just... move in? With me?"
I blink at him repeatedly. That idea hadn't even crossed my mind. "Don't be offended when I say this, but your place is not really my taste," I say carefully, earning an almost angry and frustrated noise from the man below me. "Hey! I said don't get offended. While I do I love the minimalist look you have going on, but I prefer things a little... richer.
"I'm going to punch you," he growls through his teeth.
I hold my hands up defensively. "Hey! I'm just saying, let's find a bigger place. A place that's not mine or yours. Something that's ours," I pause and can't help but sneer slightly. "Eww, I just grossed myself out."
Shizuo snickers. "Stop pretending you're not happy and excited, Izaya," he says exasperatedly before his face turns serious as he looks up at me. "Are you really asking me to find a place for us to live? Together?" He pauses, looking around subtly. "I don't really know if I can afford your level of comfort."
"That doesn't matter because I can," I say with a dismissive wave of my hand. My eyes suddenly light up as I lean over and look right into his face with a smirk on my face. "Oh ho... Shizu-chan, does that mean you're going to call me your sugar daddy?"
"Please. If either one of us is going to be calling the other one daddy, it's you." Shizuo's words are a low, dark rumble that cut right through me, making me shiver against my will. "See what I mean, Izayaaa...?"
"Stupid, Shizu-chan," I pout cutely, attempting to control my trembling. "You are really too self-assured now. It's annoying."
"Well, you only have yourself to blame," he growls before catching me in his arms and pulling me in close. "So... tomorrow?"
I blink slowly before realizing what he's talking about. "You want to find a place tomorrow?" I ask in disbelief.
"Yeah. Is that okay?" He pauses to kiss me slowly and tenderly before pulling away to look into my questioning garnet eyes. "I want more time with you as soon as possible. Deal with it."
I grin broadly before wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his hair. "Okay, Shizu-chan. Tomorrow," I murmur, causing him to shiver this time. I smirk against the sensitive skin just below his ear and squirm with purpose against him before continuing. "Tomorrow... but right now, how about you make good on the threat to make me call you daddy?"
"I thought you said that I 'just got here'," Shizuo says with a growl, his hands gripping my hips tightly as to hold me still against him.
"Just don't fall asleep on me," I tease as I pull away from his neck to look into his eyes. What I see forces me to stop, a breath caught in my throat. "Wha... what's that look for, Shizu-chan?"
He is smiling so softly that it's almost painfully sweet. "I'm sorry. I'm just excited about tomorrow," Shizuo admits quietly, love mixing with the lust that had started to creep into his soft brown eyes.
"More excited about that than what's about to happen right now?" I ask suspiciously.
He chuckles quietly. "A different kind of excited." He pauses for a moment before he holds the side of my face tenderly with a warm, yet rough hand. "Izaya. I love you."
I can't stop another breath from catching in my throat and I feel a blush spread across my cheeks much to my embarrassment. "You're weird. It's almost like you think moving in together equates to getting engaged..."
"Hey, don't push it, Izaya," Shizuo says with a chuckle. "Besides... I'm not asking for forever. I just want right now."
I don't know how to respond to that so I say the first thing that comes to mind. "I love you, Shizuo." I sigh happily as I hug myself close to his chest.
He wraps his arms tight around me and kisses my forehead softly. "I know you do, flea."