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My Skies are Turning Gray

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Day seventy three.
Sitting on the balcony of his apartment, Draco sat staring up at the sparkling stars of the nights sky. He'd never left his apartment for seventy three days, he'd counted. Every morning he'd wake up and cross off another day on his calendar, he had developed horrific anxiety after the war and he'd spent two hundred and thirty five days in his bedroom at the Manor before his mother decided enough was enough and bought him the apartment.

Narcissa Malfoy loved her son very much, she'd hoped Draco would come out of his shell, learn new skills or enjoy life, he had plenty money so she knew he'd be fine, however fine he was not.

Sighing, Draco dragged a hand through his hair a single teardrop running down his cheeks. It wasn't as if he'd intended to stay in his apartment this long, but every time he felt like stepping out of his door he felt the overwhelming feeling of dread, enough to make him dizzy and sick and he'd given up the idea as fast as he'd ran to the door. Sometimes, Draco would run, hoping that he may actually get out because he'd never overthought it, that definitely wasn't the case.

Sitting up, he peered down at the pavement, his eyebrow raising slightly as he watched his childhood friend Blaise Zabini walking down the street with Ginny Weasley. "Man, I've missed too much." he whispered quietly to himself, peering over his shoulder at the mountainous stack of unread owls he'd left on the sideboard near the door.

Draco rose to his feet and walked towards the sideboard, placing a hand upon the stack of letters, shaking his head. Anxiety clouded his vision and he felt immediately sick. What if one of these letters contained something he didn't want to read? What if someone had sent him hate mail, telling him they wish he was dead. "I wish I was dead." he choked out, between tears. Slapping his cheeks, Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're fine. You're fine." he repeated, maybe twenty times before he actually felt fine.
Walking back over to the balcony door, he walked out and sat back down on his chair. 'Tomorrow' he thought, nodding his head.

--

The next morning dawned, Draco opened his eyes and squinted, the sun blazing in his eyes. He'd fallen asleep in his chair again, this was likely not the last time he'd do this. Standing up, he shook his legs a little to relieve the cramp and yawned, walking through the balcony doors, he looked around his apartment. It was light and airy, white walls, plants everywhere - actually everything was white, not a speck of colour on the walls to be seen, the only colour he had in the entire apartment was the greens, purples, pinks and blues from the many potted plants that seemed to adorn the apartment.

Every time Draco's mother had come to visit, she'd brought a new plant. He assured her he'd left the apartment and he was having fun, though her knowing eyes seemed never to believe him.
Walking through the large white wood arch to the kitchen, Draco walked up to his calendar and crossed another day off. "Day seventy four." he mumbled, shaking his head.
After the war, at his trial Draco stood like a statue not uttering a word whilst Potter had testified for him, his eyes were fixed to the back wall the entire time, he'd tried desperately not to cry during the trial, this was very un-Malfoy-ish he'd thought at the time, but as time had gone on and Draco had changed he found that he really didn't care about what was expected of him, what made him 'Malfoy-ish' or really, well anything. The only reason he hadn't attempted to jump off the very balcony he'd fallen asleep on every single day for thirty three days was because he was a coward.

Shaking him out of his thoughts, Draco looked towards the large white front door of his apartment, his eyes wide with panic. The doorbell. The doorbell. The doorbell. He repeated this in his head about twelve times, each time the doorbell rang he felt sick. Slowly making his way to the intercom, Draco pressed the button his bottom lip trembling. "H-H-Hel..oo?" he stammered, sweat began to drip down his forehead at the very thought of talking to another human.

"Hi." the reply came. Draco frowned and pressed down the button again. "Hi?" He replied, trying to regain composure but he was failing miserably. "Is this Malfoy? It's Harry, Harry Potter. I saw your mother in Diagon Alley yesterday and she asked me to come over, apparently you wanted to speak to me?" Draco's eyes wide, he was stunned in place, his mouth wide open. He held his hand beside the button for about 40 seconds before he pressed it. "I think... I.. You... No..." Draco clenched his fist, his whole body had began to shake and he jolted, pressing the button with his hand the intercom buzzed to let him in.

Eyes wide, Draco fell to his knees and shook his head. "No... No.. N-o-o.." he put his hands over his head and started to rock himself. "Please..."
A quick knock on his door and Draco fell apart even more.

"Malfoy?" Potter shouted, knocking a bit more abruptly after a few minutes. "Malfoy?!" he shouted louder, seemingly getting annoyed.
Attempting to get off his knees, Draco stumbled a few more times before managing to prop himself on the front door, he started to fumble clicking the lock on his door he opened it slightly, his eyes scanning Potters face.

Harry looked startled. "Malfoy?!?"

Chapter Text

It was a hot day, Harry had opted for his favourite pair of worn out blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt. He'd spent the day in Diagon Alley trapsing around the many shops in search of a gift for Hermione's birthday. After the war, Harry had decided to move in to Grimmauld Place and frequented the Leaky Cauldron once per week.

Stood outside Eeylops Owl Emporium, he sighed. Memories of Hedwig popped in to his head, a small sad smile gracing his chapped lips. Shaking his head, he bit his bottom lip and walked away, towards Flourish and Blotts.

Inside, Harry looked around the many shelves knowing exactly what it was Hermione had wanted. Hermione had gotten very friendly with Neville and spent quite a lot of time with him these days, being a clever witch she'd decided to learn more about Neville's interests and had mentioned buying One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi which apparently Flourish and Blotts had sold.
"Hello Mr. Potter." came the voice to his right. Turning his head, Harry's eyes settled upon Narcissa Malfoy - he hadn't seen her in a while, her hair was completely white, still very polished she wore a large dark green robe her hair in a light up-do. Her face drawn in, she had noticeable wrinkles and a small smile on her face.

"Mrs. Malfoy." he replied politely, nodding his head towards her. "How are you, dear?" she asked. Harry wasn't quite sure whether she was being courteous or not, he had never really figured out Narcissa Malfoy, she always appeared quite unenthusiastic towards other people, rather cold unless it was her own family. He knew she loved them dearly, always curious whether or not she ever extended that to others.

"Good, thank you. Yourself?" he replied, an impassive look on his face. "I'm just fine, thank you." She nodded, her smile which was rather small previously had grown a little - not enough to not still wonder whether she actually cared to be talking to him. "Draco was asking after you last I seen him, he actually wanted to talk to you." bringing her thin dainty hand up to her hair she brushed a small strand that seemed to fall out of her gold hair clip.

Oh really?" Harry frowned, scratching the side of his face. "Did he tell you what he wanted?" he asked, clearly confused. Malfoy? Wanting to talk to him? Didn't seem like a thing he'd ever have figured, yet stranger things have happened.

"No, he never mentioned. I'll give you his address - perhaps around tomorrow morning?" she suggested, eyes twinkling. Reaching in to her robe pocket, Narcissa retrieved a scrap of high quality parchment out, a quill and a small bottle of ink. She turned around and leaned on one of the wooden benches which seemed to dot around most of the shop, popped open her ink and scribbled something down on the parchment.

Harry stood awkwardly whilst he waited, he wasn't quite sure how he managed to be talking to Narcissa Malfoy inside Flourish and Blotts, actually he wasn't sure he'd seen the woman anywhere since the trial. "I'll be sure to pop in tomorrow then." he said, louder than he intended which seemed to startle her.

"Yes, yes thank you." turning around, she passed on the piece of parchment and within a few seconds had exited the shop.
Well.. That was weird." he mumbled, shaking his head slightly. Peering down at the piece of paper, he frowned. Malfoy lives in an apartment? laughing to himself, Harry stuffed the parchment in to his back pocket and continued on towards the bookshelves.

"Would you like some help?" the voice came of a young witch. "Oh, yes, I'm looking for One Thousand Magical Herbs an-" He was interrupted, the witch seemed rather enthusiastic. "Fungi!" she exclaimed, smiling brightly at him. "Yes! That's right over here!" She flapped her arms around like some sort of demented chicken and ran over to the bookshelf labelled 'Herbology'
"Thank you." Harry smiled, following the girl over to the bookcase. "Thanks again." he repeated, she nodded her head far too much - almost as though she wanted it to pop off her shoulders. "You're welcome!" she nearly shouted at him and skipped off towards the counter.

Harry dragged a hand through his untamed hair and squinted. What a weird day Picking up the book, he walked towards the counter, placed a couple galleons on the counter and smiled. "Thanks." he nodded and turned to walk away. "No! Thank YOU Mr. Potter!" the young girl this time did shout. Harry winced and walked towards the door, the sound of the bell dinging as he left.

Malfoy's tomorrow then I suppose.

 

--

 

Later on in the day, Harry apparated outside the Burrow, he could already hear the hustle and bustle of people inside, Molly shouting for Ron to stop eating all of the mince pies she'd cooked. "Mince pies are Christmas Mum, not birthdays!" Ron shouted with a mouth-full. "Oh Ronald, don't talk when you're eating!" she scolded, making Harry smile. He'd loved his time here, with the closest thing to family he would ever have.

Opening the door, Harry walked inside and grinned. "Happy Birthday Hermione." Hermione hadn't changed much, her hair was longer and her eyes were brighter than ever, she wore an ankle length black sleeveless dress, her bouncy hair falling all around her shoulders. "Thanks Harry."

In from the kitchen came Ron, mouth still full of food. "Hiya Harry." he choked out, food spluttering everywhere. "Goodness Ron, what did your mother just tell you?" she teased, batting his shoulder lightly. "Here, I got you a gift." Harry passed over the book, realising he'd not actually bothered to wrap it. "Oh thanks Harry, see Ronald - at least someone listens to me." smirking, she accepted the book and wrapped Harry in to a hug. "It's good to see you Harry."

The rest of the night went well, they played exploding snap, Molly shared stories of their childhood - they drunk butterbeer, happily chatting away. The Burrow was always a warm, welcoming place - nick-knacks, ornaments scattered around the well loved home. It was a safe, loving place Harry never failed to enjoy coming to. Ginny was off playing professional Quidditch, Mr. Weasley attending one of her many matches as his daughters biggest fan. "It's a shame Mr. Weasley wasn't here to celebrate" Harry mentioned, not knowing where he was. "Oh yes, he's off watching another game." Molly shook her head, smiling. "So proud, he is."

Later on in the night and fuller than he'd ever been after being offered possibly more than his body weight in food, he thanked Molly and said his goodbyes to Ron and Hermione, walking outside he apparated just outside Grimmauld Place, the nights air had set in instantly chilling him.

Harry dreaded going home, knowing how empty it was - how empty he felt when he was alone.

Chapter Text

"Malfoy?!?"

Draco bit hard on his lower lip, drawing blood which now began to pool in his mouth - this was a habit that seemed to plague Draco lately, his lower lip covered in cuts - some of which appeared bruised. Draco's hair was long, sitting just below his shoulders, his face drawn in and gaunt, wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of grey slacks a few sizes too big for him.

"What do you want?" He stuttered out, trying to regain composure. He didn't want to appear this way to anyone, especially the Savior of the Wizarding World. Draco's heart began to beat rapidly, he was sure he could hear it.

Harry, still startled opened his mouth and then shut it once again. He'd never expected the Malfoy stood in front of him, a pang of guilt bubbled in his stomach. Some people never got over the war, ending up in St Mungo's for PTSD, some going mad with grief. Sighing, Harry bowed his head slightly, he was so busy in a world of his own he'd forgotten the people outside his inner circle. He'd never held much care for Malfoy in his younger years, the pompous prick he was.

"Well, I was in Diagon Alley yesterday" Harry began, his head rising from its bowed state, he then turned it to the side, frowning. "I er, I was looking for well a present and I ran in to your mother." he scratched the side of his face awkwardly, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. Draco just stood staring at him, not uttering a word, not an insult, no sarcasm, no coldness, his eyes were dull, he almost looked like he was ready to cry.

"Hm." Draco mumbled, looking down at his feet. "Oh, yes." Draco remembered at the door, Potter had mentioned something about his mother - he was too busy his favourite word to explain it spazzing out he'd forgotten most of what he was told.

"She er, she mentioned that you er, well you wanted to speak to me?" more a question than anything else, Harry felt rather unusual standing at Malfoy's doorstep - he wasn't really sure whether he should have actually come. "I can come back some other time if you want, or not at all er, I can see that er..." He trailed off.
"I-I-I, I'm - Not really -" Draco tried to speak, but the words didn't seem to want to come out of his mouth, he turned around and looked towards the balcony, wondering whether he'd be better off just running out on to it and pretending he didn't exist.

"Are you alright Malfoy?" Harry pulled his wand out of his trouser pocket, frowning. "Is there someone here?" He asked, slightly concerned, his eyes began to dart around the apartment - he noted that the apartment was pretty plain and not like he'd expect of Draco Malfoy, he'd expected something regal and full of self importance, but the man in front of him resembled none of that.

"Yes, fine." he stammered, nodding his head rather too enthusiastically for Harry's taste. Potter pushed past Malfoy and began to walk around the apartment, his wand raised up - stance ready to hex whoever seemed to be making Malfoy act this way. He walked in to the wooden arch to the kitchen, Harry noted his kitchen was as plain as his sitting room - white counters, white counter tops, white table, white everything. He raised an eyebrow and turned around - walking now towards the door directly across from the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, Harry opened the door and stepped inside - wand still raised.

Malfoy's bedroom, he presumed. His bed was unmade, clothes scattered the floor, books and what seemed to be newspapers, cups and plates. Harry turned around and looked towards Malfoy, who had never moved an inch since he'd started investigating however his eyes followed Harry around the apartment.
His eyes settling on the last door, Harry stalked towards it pulled the handle down quickly and burst in to the room which was Malfoy's bathroom. A single shower, toilet and sink. Everything was white.

A confused look on his face, Harry walked out of the bathroom and towards Malfoy, who was still in the exact same spot. "Nobody is here." stating the obvious, Harry closed the front door and turned. "Did you need to speak to me?"

"No." Draco replied simply, averting his gaze from Harry's face. "Did you talk to your mother recently?"

"No." he repeated.

"I couldn't help notice the calendar in the kitchen, are you planning a vacation?" Harry tried to lighten the mood, unsure of what the actual hell was going on. "No." Draco repeated, again. The no answers were really starting to annoy him by now.
"What are they then?" he rolled his eyes, wondering if he was going to get an answer or just another no.

"Seventy four." Draco shrugged, slowly walking towards the far side of the room towards the balcony door. "Seventy four days, I-I haven't left for seventy four days." he said quietly, hoping Potter hadn't heard him.

"Seventy four days?! Since you left your apartment?" shocked, Harry followed him towards the balcony door, following him through he noticed the well worn lounger chair as well as its twin which didn't seem to be as worn as the other. "Yes." Draco sat down on his chair and reclined backwards, staring up at the sky.

"Why?" Harry sat down on the empty chair and turned his head towards Draco. "Are you on house arrest?" He placed his hands on his lap and waited, after a few minutes Draco turned his head towards Harry and shook it. "No, I don't leave. I just don't." his voice was shaky, but he was starting to feel a little more stable now. This happened quite often when his mother came around too, not to say it wouldn't get worse in a few minutes time - it was unpredictable.

"Right. Er. Well, okay." Harry reached up and scratched the side of his head, unsure of what to say. "Well, if you don't need anything - I can, I will go then." he nodded, standing up. "I'm sorry for bothering you, maybe your mother misunderstood you." he started to walk towards the balcony door and turned back, frowning.

"She just cares, I think." mumbled Draco, looking upside down at Harry. "Tea?" He asked, pulling the recliner in, he stood up and bit the inside of his mouth. "Do you want... Tea?" he asked again, trying to gauge Harry's response.

Harry, who looked confused, shocked, unsettled and well uneasy nodded his head and offered a small smile. "Sure, thank you." he replied, walking through the doorway.
Draco jogged towards the kitchen and set to making tea, he filled his kettle up and placed it back on its base, clicking the button to set it to boil. Reaching up, he opened the cupboard door above him and pulled two cups out setting them down on the counter beside the kettle. He took two teabags out of the small white pot below the cupboards and placed the teabags in to each cup. "Um, one sugar and milk please." Harry added, eyeing Draco whilst he prepared the tea.

After a minute or two, Draco had produced two semi drinkable cups of tea and handed one to Harry, he walked towards his table and sat down carefully cupping his hands round the mug.

"How long before seventy four days did you stay inside?" Harry asked, wondering if maybe that was rude. He followed Draco towards the table and sat down in the seat opposite him. "Um, not much more." Draco lied, staring down at the tea in the cup. Harry eyed him suspiciously but didn't press.

Twenty minutes later in semi-awkward silence, Harry stood up and took his cup to the sink, washing it out before setting it in the drying rack on Malfoy's draining board. "Thank you for the tea." said Harry slowly, turning round to face Malfoy from across the room.

"No, it's, it's fine." Malfoy nodded. He stood up from the table and walked towards the sink, placing his own cup beside Harry's.

"Well, I should go, I have some.. Er.. Work to do today." Harry said slowly. "Okay, yes." Draco walked through the archway and made his way back to the balcony he turned his head slightly and noticed that Harry had followed him. "Thank you for coming." he offered a small smile and went to sit back down on his lounge chair.

Harry balanced on one foot, debating on whether he should follow Malfoy before shaking his head - this was a sign he'd rather he left? Was it? "Well, see you later Malfoy." he shouted, not receiving a response he walked towards the front door, opened it and slipped out lightly closing it behind him.

What happened?

Chapter Text

Seventy five days. Draco had fallen asleep on the lounge chair shortly after Harry had left and woke up at around eight in the morning to the feeling of raindrops on his face. Squinting, he looked around sighing. Bloody British weather thought Draco. Propping himself up, he looked down off the glass panel of his balcony, noting that the ground was also wet so he had to have been sleeping for a while in the rain.

Standing up, he turned around and walked through his balcony door, he wondered the last time he actually shut this door, noting that he should probably start actually going to bed instead of cramping his legs in the chair outside, that and giving himself a chill.

Wandering to his bedroom, Draco realised the door was still open from when Harry had entered the room, he cringed when he thought of Potter going in to his bedroom with the state it was currently in. It wasn't as though Draco was a messy person, he just ended up taking everything to his bedroom when he was having a bad day and essentially crying himself to sleep.
When did you get this pathetic, tosser. he rolled his eyes and picked up two plates stacking them on top of each other he grabbed two cups by the handles and made his way towards the kitchen, setting them on the side.

He picked up his pen and crossed off another day on his calendar. It was the 20th September today. He woke up feeling a lot better than he had on previous days. Should probably eat something today. he took a mental note and wandered back in to his living room, he sat down on the cream coloured corner sofa and looked around, wondering what he could possibly do today.

--

Harry woke up, groaning loudly he flailed around and arched his back. "Fucking hell" he moaned, putting his arm over his eyes. He'd gone out and gotten utterly smashed after he left Draco's. Everyone thought Harry Potter would have gone on to do great things, but in all honesty he'd actually done absolutely nothing except brood, drink and brood some more.
Pulling himself out of bed, he yawned and swore again, shaking his head. "Another day another fucking arse ache." he mumbled to himself, standing up he stretched out, his joints clicking.
Harry clicked the radio on beside his bed and walked in to his bathroom, he quickly showered and walked in to his bedroom again - dressing in another pair of beaten up jeans and a green and black striped t-shirt, he pulled his vans on shoved his wand in his pocket and apparated.

--

Draco had picked up a book off his bookshelf and spent the last three hours reading out on his balcony. Still raining, Draco had cast a protective shield around himself - utterly engrossed in his book.

"Malfoy, come on we're going out." Harry shouted up, standing sheepishly in the middle of the road. Oncoming traffic had started honking their horns at him.
Raising an eyebrow, Draco looked down to the street over the top of his book, wondering where the shouting came from. It was a relatively quiet street minus the passing muggle vehicles but Draco had began to get used to this. His eyes widened at the sight of a dishevelled Potter. "What?" he shouted back, putting his book down beside him he rose from the chair and walked to the edge of the balcony.

"Hurry up or I'll drag you out." Potter shouted again, he had began to grin widely.

"Are you drunk?" Draco eyed him accusingly, his heart rate had began to speed up and his palms had become sweaty. Draco could feel his calm exterior crashing around him at a rapid rate.
"Just hurry up." Rolling his eyes, Harry walked towards the apartment buzzer and began to press it quickly, which infuriated Draco. He hated the bloody buzzer, his mother, Potter, the book, the rain, his apartment, himself. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" Draco repeated over and over again as he walked towards the intercom. "Fuck" he whispered to himself before he pressed the button to let Harry in.

--

Harry hadn't really a clue why he had decided to apparate outside Malfoy's building, he had no idea why he felt sorry for Malfoy or why he did half the bloody stupid things he did, but here he was making his way up the stairs towards the pointy pricks apartment.

Banging on the door, Harry began to tap his feet. "Open the door Malfoy" he shouted, tapping on it again.

Draco opened the door slowly and glared at Harry, who shrugged his shoulders. "Come on, get your shit together."

No idea whether to laugh or cry at that, Draco walked towards his shoe rack, slipped on some brogues, picked up his black linen coat and pulled it round himself. "Where are we going?" He asked shakily, unsure.

Harry had not really thought this through. where are we going? he thought to himself, shrugging his shoulders again. Draco grumbled at his response, buttoned up his coat, checked the mirror and noted in disgust that he looked seriously underweight. Walking towards the door, Draco stopped at the doorstep and peered down to the floor, here he was at the intersection of his life - he started to feel light headed and sick. "I can't" he whimpered, stepping backwards away from the door.

Harry frowned and walked through the door, then out again. "Is it magically charmed?" he asked, waving his hand in and out of it. "You are on house arrest!" he shouted accusingly, staring at Malfoy intently.

"No, noo-" He shook his head and just sat down on the floor, pulling his legs up to his chest. "I can't leave, I-I've tried, I can't." he started to panic, his breathing became heavier and he started to cry.

Harry, bewildered at the situation walked in to the apartment, closed the door and knelt in front of Malfoy, moving his hair away from his face. "What do you mean you can't?" he asked softly, beginning to feel a pang of guilt.

"I feel... I feel.. Sick...Dizzy..I can't" Draco shook his head and wiped the tears that had fallen down his cheeks away. "I can't" repeated the blonde, who looked up at Harry with teary eyes. "I-I'm a coward."

Wrapping his arms around Draco, Harry pulled him in to an awkward hug and frowned "We're all fucked up in our own way Malfoy, you can't help how you are." he sighed, closing his eyes. Harry thought back to some of the things that had been thrust upon him, even at a young age still with the Dursleys. "You just gotta take it a day at a time eh?" he added.

After some awkward twenty minutes of hugging, Harry pulled back the corners of his mouth twitching to somewhat of a smile. "You alright?" he asked, pulling himself to his feet, he put a hand out for Draco who took it carefully and helped him up.

"Y-Yes, thank...you?" It came out as more of a question, but Draco was wildly uncomfortable with the situation, Potter his 'Arch Nemesis' had hugged him? Comforted him.

"I'll er, I'll come back tomorrow yeah? We can try again?" Asked Harry, a blush staining his cheeks. "To help..." he trailed off, scratching the side of his head.

"Tea?" Draco smiled.

Chapter Text

Harry smiled back, curiously. "Sure, tea sounds good." He followed Malfoy to the kitchen and walked over to the window, looking over at the other apartments on the other side of the road, he watched as the rain poured, half listening to Malfoy tap around the room and the whistle of the kettle.

"It's nice here." Harry commented, biting his bottom lip. He hated Grimmauld, it was full of memories he'd rather push to the back of his mind. He had his heart broken far too many times to heal, now he was just gluing the pieces back together with crazy glue. "Peaceful." He added, nodding his head.

Draco turned towards Harry when he had prepared two cups of tea and watched him carefully, he'd listened to him but decided not to respond - he wasn't sure if he was meant to. He had no idea what Harry was thinking but it appeared to Draco he was just as broken as he was - going from cool and chill to vulnerable in a few minutes. "Here's your tea." he said slowly, passing Harry the steaming cup.

"Thank you." Harry nodded, taking the cup willingly. He cupped the mug with both hands and continued to look out the window, watching droplets run down the high windows.
"My mother bought me this apartment, she said she wanted me to live my life." He laughed shakily, sipping on his tea. "When she comes around, she brings me a plant and I have to make up some sort of story to appease her." Draco sighed.

Harry nodded again, drinking his tea. "The world is so fucked up, we fought a war some of us good some of us bad, some of us we lost and now when we're done everyone gets to move the fuck on and leave us behind, nobody wants to talk about it because it's to painful to talk about, but we can't move on because we have no closure and now they don't need us they don't give a fuck." Harry spat, shaking his head in disbelief.

Draco, shocked by his outburst pursed his lips. "I suppose, you're right." he nodded with him, sipping his tea again. "I didn't do good, but I didn't want to lose my family - my father was a grade A+ asshole but he was my father."

"I would have killed everyone for my parents." Harry sighed, looking towards Draco. "Nobody who had a good family could ever say otherwise. Ron would have killed all of us if his family was on the line, the same with Hermione. She fucking obliviated her parents - she would have killed for them."

Not really knowing what to say to this, Draco finished his tea, turned and took his cup to the sink. He noted that he really ought to do his dishes as they had began to stack up.
"But I could have saved so many lives by just letting them die." he said quietly. "Now I just feel like I'm falling down."

"Doesn't matter what side you picked, those who don't feel the same are lying to themselves." Harry shrugged, following Malfoy he placed his mug beside his and looked up at his gray eyes.
"I know we don't like each other, but I don't want you to feel like how I feel." Draco bit his lip and looked down at his feet, he felt as though Harry could see his entire soul through his eyes and it made his heart jump.

"I haven't hated you for a long time, Malfoy." Harry sighed, walking through to the living room.

Fear gripped Draco and he jogged to follow him. "Are you leaving?" he asked, clenching his fists.

"Well, do you want me to stay?" He asked, turning towards Malfoy.

"I could read to you." Draco frowned at his words, not really knowing where they came from. Harry laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Why not, go on then."

--

Draco and Harry had ventured in to the balcony area, Draco on his usual chair and Harry beside him. They talked for a while about their lives, friends and everything in between. Harry was pleased he got a few smiles out of Malfoy, unsure of really why he was pleased about it but pleased he was nevertheless.
"I'm reading The Great Gatsby" Draco held the book up to show Harry, who looked surprised. "Didn't think that would be to your taste" Harry teased, smiling slightly. Draco shrugged and bit his lip.

"I found it in a bookstore down the road, or well rather my mother did and she thought I'd like it." he frowned and opened the book to the page he was on. "Do you want me to read it from the start?" he asked, unsure. The thought of Narcissa walking in to a muggle bookstore brought a smile to Harry's lips, he wondered if his mother had been worried all along, obviously Malfoy didn't actually want to talk to him about anything, was he the one to 'save' Draco?

Harry mimiced Draco's earlier movements and shrugged, casting a quick protective spell to shield them from the rain. "If you give me a run down, then you can start from where you left off." he leaned back in the lounge chair and laced his hands together, closing his eyes.

Draco explained for the next thirty minutes the gist of the book, rather animated his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, something Harry hadn't really experienced from the other man well, ever. you never talked to Malfoy before Harry he thought to himself, nodding his head as he spoke.

Beginning to read, Draco settled in his chair.

Maybe I was wrong all along. Harry thought as he listened to Draco reading, he thought back to their childhood, thought about what Draco had mentioned earlier about his family - he would have done anything for his family too had they been alive. He frowned, chewing on his lip in thought. Pushing the thoughts away, Harry concentrated on Draco's words, smiling as different things peaked his interest, scowling at others.

After a couple of hours, Draco ran to the kitchen to fetch some tea and biscuits, when he returned he transfigured a couple of his mothers plants in to side tables and settled the cups and plate of biscuits down on top. "Do you want to continue?" Draco asked warily, sitting down on his seat.

"Of course." Harry smiled, reaching for his cup he took a sip of his tea. "Ahh, good tea." he complimented, grabbing a few biscuits he began to chomp as Draco read.

The sky had began to darken, there was a half moon tonight which illuminated the nights sky. It was a relatively mild night with many stars visible overhead. Harry had grabbed some blankets from Draco's living room earlier.

Stomach rumbling, Harry groaned. "Do you want to get something to eat?" He asked, turning his head towards Draco. He hadn't actually noticed that he'd stopped reading, what he did lay his eyes on was a very much asleep Malfoy book on his chest clutching the blanket Harry had wrapped around him earlier.

"Okay then." he laughed and closed his eyes. Life is strange.

Chapter Text

In a darkened room, Draco sat in the corner, the only light visible coming from a torch on the right hand side, the room was triangle shaped, the stench of death enveloped his senses. "Hello?" he called out, his voice trembling. Draco hadn't really put a lot of thought in to the way he would die, he wasn't really sure when it would happen or why, he knew that his past was jaded, he knew that his family hadn't exactly much of a moral compass, he'd known that he was just basically a pure asshole when he was younger, he'd always been scared of death but he hadn't really thought about how it would happen.

Trying to stand, Draco realised that he couldn't, suddenly a bright light came towards him, he held a breath in, squinting his eyes to adjust, looking down at his legs he frowned, he wasn't sure why they weren't working.

"You're not worth anything, Malfoy." came a sinister voice, one he couldn't quite place. "Why are you still here? After everything you've done." came another, that of a woman. "You sicken me, you sicken everyone - just die." another, Draco began to cry, he wrapped his arms around his head and shook.

"Please stop." Draco called out, his voice echoed as though the room was 100 foot wide and 100 foot long, he cried and cried, his sleeves becoming soaked with tears, he then gasped as he began to feel himself falling, the floor gave away and he was falling and falling, the faces of the dead appearing all around him to taunt him, he started to scream.
He finally reached the bottom of wherever he was, laying on an ashen pile of corpses mounted high, the smell of rotting corpses stronger than ever he looked down at his feet, his fathers face - he was stood on him, he was stood on his mother, he could see his godfather Severus, everyone he ever cared about and in front of him stood Harry Potter.
"Malfoy?" He called, trying to get up the pile of bones towards him. "Malfoy, are you alright?" he shouted, Draco's vision blurred and started to shake, he fell to his knees, trembling.

"MALFOY" Harry shouted loudly.

 

-------------------

 

Opening his eyes, Draco gasped for breath and looked up, locking eyes with Harry who had an increasingly pained, concerned expression on his face. "Are you okay?" Potter asked, biting his bottom lip. "I think you were having a nightmare, you started to scream, I-I don't I thought I-"

Draco jumped up and wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders, his entire body shaking, he was sweating, his eyes wide with horror, he clutched him tightly and began to cry.

They stood there for a few minutes, Harry just rubbed his back soothingly, unsure of what to say. He had his fair share of nightmares. "I'm sorry." Draco whispered, closing his eyes tightly. After another couple of minutes, he pulled back and stared at Potter, he was embarrassed and ashamed. "I'm sorry" he repeated, now looking down at his feet.

"It's alright, I have them too." Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I hoped they'd go away after, well after he was dead, but they're even worse." he shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the door of the balcony. "Do you want to get something to eat?" He asked Draco lightly, gesturing with his hand towards the kitchen.

"Um, yes." Draco replied, still embarrassed at his outburst. "I don't actually think I have anything to... Eat" in almost a whisper, Draco shoved his hands in to his trouser pockets and followed Harry towards the kitchen.

"I can go out and get something to bring back, or we could go to the cafe - there's one like a few doors down from you, I noticed it last time." Harry looked towards Draco, who looked like he was having a mini panic attack and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm happy to do both."
"Why are you helping me?" Draco questioned, raising an eyebrow at Harry - they'd never been friends before, if his mother had set this up what had she said to Potter that made him so intent on helping him, being here with him?

"Believe it or not, Malfoy - we're not exactly so different." Harry rolled his eyes, holding his hand out to him. "Come on Wendy, lets go eat." he laughed sarcastically.
"Wendy?" Draco turned his nose up, a deep frown etched on his features. "Never mind, come on." Harry smiled.

 

-----

 

Draco had gotten dressed, wearing his usual linen jacket - shoes on, hair slightly brushed - he looked like he had seen better days but it was an improvement to earlier. He looked towards Harry and bit his lip.
Harry held out his hand to Draco and smiled, nodding his head towards the hand. "Come on, you can do it. I'll be here and I'll kick in whoever comes near you." He joked, Draco seemed to take this quite well, as he reached out and took Potters hand - a jolt of electricity stunned him, Harry looked away and cleared his throat.

Opening the front door, Harry walked out and tugged Draco's hand to follow him, his heart had began to beat rapidly and he already felt sick. Leaving his sanctuary? He walked a step froward and let go of Harry's hand to clutch his arm, he walked out of his door, flinching as it closed behind him.

"What kind of food do you like?" Harry asked, pulling Draco along with him as they exited his apartment building. "Hmm, well breakfast I like pancakes, or maybe crumpets." Draco pondered the idea and shrugged his shoulders. "Syrup, maple." He added, Harry listened intently and smiled as Draco listed nearly the entirety of all breakfast items in the history of the universe, a squeak of shock came out of Draco's mouth as they stopped in front of the Cafe Nine.

"You did it." Harry grinned, opening the door he gestured for Draco to enter, to which he did happily - quite proud of himself for having done what seemed to be impossible. The cafe was relatively empty, Harry had followed behind him and without thinking the blonde had grabbed a hold of Harry's arm again. "So did you decide what you wanted, because you kind of told me every breakfast food in the world." Harry teased as he found a table near the window and sat down.

"Full English I suppose." Draco looked down at the small menu which was perched upon a slate brick. "But no black pudding because that shit is disgusting." He turned his nose up at it and grabbed the menu, skimming through it.

"What can I get you?" A pretty young brunette smiled, holding on to a yellow notepad and a pen. "Two full english please, both with no black pudding." Harry winked, looking thoroughly amused by the situation.

"Earl Gray, milk, sugar" Draco added, looking up at the girl stood in front of them. "Oh you're in my building." she smiled enthusiastically. "I have only seen you once though, I assume you're busy." she quickly jotted down the orders and walked off towards the counter.

"Busy." Draco laughed, biting his lower lip.

When their food arrived, Draco and Harry happily ate and chatted together, the occasional laugh or chuckle coming from Draco, which cheered Harry up immeasurably.
"Do you want to do this again tomorrow?" Draco asked cautiously, eyeing Harry. "You don't have to, but...." he trailed off, as though he was distracted by his own thoughts. "It's nice."
Harry nodded in agreement and smiled. "I'd love to."

Chapter Text

Three days later and Draco's calendar had been forgotten. He'd spent every morning with Harry, he'd gone back and forth to the cafe but hadn't managed to venture further than that. He'd almost had a panic attack yesterday at the mere mention of trying a different cafe, the girl they'd been served by was called Adele or rather that's what her name tag said. She always seemed pleased they'd returned, they chatted often when the cafe became empty.

Draco walked slowly down the cobbled road towards the cafe, side by side with Harry. He'd had a look on his face all morning that of being lost in thought - he wondered when Harry would get bored of Draco's presence, whether he would move on and get married, have children like the 'Golden Boy' was supposed to do - though the man in the media was not the man he knew, they seemed to get their portrayal of Harry wrong every time they published a new article in the god forsaken Daily Prophet.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked worriedly, biting his lower lip. He'd been watching Draco carefully, he wasn't sure when the other man would end up running back to his apartment, Harry never judged though he thought it odd, possibly because he'd never experienced anything like it before.

"Yes. Fine." Draco mumbled, reaching the doors to Cafe Nine. Adele rushed towards their table as they took a seat a great grin spread on her face. "Hi boys! Nice to see you today." she grabbed her pen from behind her ear and brought it to her small yellow paged notepad. "What can I get you on this dark, gloomy Sunday?" she laughed.

Draco shrugged his shoulders and turned to Harry, who shrugged his shoulders also. "Full English?" Harry suggested, smiling at the curt nod he got in response. "Oh and tea, you got Tetley here?" Adele giggled and nodded. "Yeah, we got Earl Gray, Tetley, PG Tips and err..." She turned her head towards the counter and squinted "Some like herbal stuff, I dunno it's popular with the hipsters and such." she turned her head back towards Harry who had a look of amusement on his face.

"Right... Well Earl Gray for Draco and I'll take Tetley." Harry scratched the side of his face and turned his head to the window.

Scribbling down the orders, Adele gave a small salute and jogged off towards the kitchen.

"Maybe I should visit my mother." Draco mumbled, biting the inside of his mouth. The young girl walked back with two pots of tea and placed them down on the table, she had two mugs under her arm which she placed down on the table after. "What's your name?" Harry asked casually, looking up at her. "Oh, Adele." her cheeks pinked slightly. Pointing down to her name tag, she shrugged her shoulders.

"You're Harry and Draco, I heard you talking." her blush deepened, she bit her lip lightly and looked towards Draco who was eyeing her with curiosity. "I'm glad you guys come back, we don't have a lot of regular customers here and my boss was worried people didn't like his cafe." she admitted, sighing. "I don't want to be jobless again." she added.

"I'll go grab your breakfasts!" she announced enthusiastically once again and walked back to the counter. "She seems nice." Draco frowned, staring down at his mug, he picked the teapot up and began pouring his tea in the cup. "I think she likes you." he looked up at Harry, who looked stricken. "Oh she isn't my type." He cleared his throat.

Draco raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Red hair, thin, dainty and young?" he teased, smirking. "Seems like your type to me." clearly amused, he added two sugars then the milk to his tea and began stirring.

"I know what you're getting at, Draco." Harry rolled his eyes, pushing his mug away. "Ginny and I broke up ages ago, the last I heard she's dating Blaise Zabini." Draco's eyes shot up from his mug, a deep frown setting on his face. "Blaise? Since when?"

Harry chuckled "Months, I last seen her at the Burrow after Ron's birthday. They live together I think - and anyway I prefer blondes." he shrugged.

Draco raised an eyebrow, thinking back to Harry's friendship with Luna Lovegood - if not a bit nuts she was a pretty girl. He shrugged his shoulders, attracting the searching eyes of Potter in the process. "What?" Harry asked a smirk on his face. "Nothing." Draco mumbled in response.

After Adele had come back with their breakfasts, Draco and Harry had ate their entire breakfast in silence, Draco pondering the thought he'd had earlier still, he pushed his fork around his plate, occasionally stabbing something but not eating anything really, eventually he picked up a piece of buttered toast and started crunching on it, the thought was a little sickening to be quite honest, he'd never thought he'd leave his apartment ever - but now he had done it he wasn't sure he was strong enough to do it alone.

"Well that was nice." Harry mused, gathering up the plates, forks and cups he wandered towards the counter and placed them down, passing his usual generous tip towards Adele, who had a deep scarlet blush plastered upon her cheeks. "Thank you." she grinned, taking the payment for the breakfasts also.

Draco stared out the window in quiet contemplation, watching the sparkling droplets of rain run down the window, the sky was dark and gloomy Adele had been right. He'd never really noticed the weather when he was walking down the road, he found that concentrating on one thing helped with his panic attacks a little better outside.

Appearing at his side, Harry followed Draco's eyes and wondered what was running through the other mans head, he was difficult to read. "Well, we should go." Shaking Draco out of his thought, he looked up to Harry his eyes searching, so much so Harry averted his eyes as though his thoughts had been read, thinking of Legilimency Harry shuddered.
"Yes, we should." Standing up, Draco pushed his chair back in and headed towards the door, holding it open for Harry he waved slightly to Adele who was waving wildly at the two of them. "See you tomorrow!" she shouted grinning.

"Odd, that one." Harry laughed, pulling the door closed behind him. "What do you want to do now then?" Draco shrugged his shoulders in response. "I think I'm going to read."

-----------------------------------

After they'd arrived back at Draco's apartment, Harry had immediately put the kettle on and frowned to himself, he wasn't actually sure the last time he'd gone home and Draco's calendar wasn't much help. He'd noticed he'd stopped crossing the days off on the calendar, he was also unsure if this was good or not.

Settling down on the sun loungers on the balcony they'd read for an hour or so before Harry snorted loudly and shook his head. Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked. "So basically, Daisy is just a giant fucking bellend, honestly - the only good person in this entire story is Gatsby and he just got fucking shot." he growled. Draco placed the book down on the small end table and laughed, a full belly laugh. "I never thought you'd have enjoyed a literature classic Potter." Draco, sounding that of his old self which stunned Harry a little.

"Well I may not have had the posh articulate and intelligent upbringing like you did, but I can enjoy a book Malfoy." Harry scowled at him, folding his arms like a scorned child.

"Mmhm." came Draco's response, who still looked utterly humoured. "Please tell me that Daisy got absolutely fucked over, because I mean that bitch got everything she wanted then she just fucked off." Harry growled. Draco shrugged his shoulders "I don't really know, she wanted the security of Tom, I don't think she loved either man more than the money." Draco admitted.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Money doesn't matter, being alone and rich isn't better than being poor and in love." he sighed in exasperation. Draco, thoroughly amused by now nodded. "Mm well, we're finished with that one - how about Romeo and Juliet?" He suggested. "Is that another one that will make me super frustrated and angry?" Harry moaned, sighing dramatically once again when Draco had nodded.

"Well we could just chat instead I suppose." Harry shrugged, turning his head towards Draco who smiled.

His smile turned to that of horror when his doorbell rang, however.

Chapter Text

Harry bit down on his lower lip, hard. A pang of guilt hit him like a freight train, what if he was making Draco worse? He didn’t want to be the reason he was anxious, he didn’t really know a lot about the other man, nor did he really know much about mental illness.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” He smiled softly, placing a hand upon Draco’s trembling one. “Just stay here, you get that book ready and I’ll be back in a sec.” he stood up and walked towards the door, glancing back a little. He opened the door slowly, his eyes resting upon Adele from the Cafe. “Oh, Hi Adele.” Harry smiled.

“Hiya Harry! I had some left over pies in the cafe after we closed and well -“ she trailed off, as though lost in thought. “I wondered if you guys wanted some.”

Harry thought for a second and nodded, turning around he gestured to Draco, who had started sweating by the looks of the beads running down his face.

“It’s Adele, she has pie.” He grinned. Draco frowned then exhaled, nodding slowly. “Oh.” He replied, standing up. “What kind of pie?” He enquired, raising an eyebrow.

Adele giggled from behind the door “Apple, rhubarb, cherry and key lime” she replied, poking her head round the door. “It’s not full pies, just left overs but they’re tasty!” She thrust the box in to Harry’s hand, taking him off guard, he stumbled slightly.

“Umm...” he mumbled, a little confused. “Well, thank you Adele uhhh...” he turned around, surprised as Draco began to walk towards the door. “Do you want to come in?” Draco asked softly.

Adele beamed and nodded “Oh yes! As long as you have tea and Teddy can come with me?” She asked, pleadingly.

“Teddy?” Hardy frowned, thinking back to his little god-son. “Yeah!” She exclaimed, waving frantically. A little shaggy dog barked enthusiastically and ran in to the apartment, startling Draco.
“Oh hello.” Draco smiled, leaning down to pet the raggy looking dog, he stroked him and grinned as the dog began to lick his face.

Harry raised an eyebrow and laughed, Adele walked through and closed the door behind her.

“I’ll go grab some plates and put your kettle on!” She bounced off towards the kitchen, leaving Draco and Harry alone with Teddy.

“You like dogs?” Harry asked, stroking the little pup.
“Well...” Draco pondered “I like this one.” He shrugged, making his way towards the balcony Teddy in tow.

Sitting down on his favourite lounger, he quickly transfigured a nearby plant pot to a third lounger for Adele and turned his head to Harry, a little startled. Adele, who was stood wide eyed nearly dropped the plates.

“What the hell was that?!” she shrieked, running towards the newly transfigured lounger, poking and prodding at it like it was some sort of mystical object. “That was a plant pot, a plant pot.. A plant pot, this was not... What did you do?!” She exclaimed, sitting down on the new addition. “I don’t...” she shook her head in awe.

Harry, who’s face had paled walked forwards slowly and eased himself down on to the lounger. “Draco, most muggles aren’t accustomed to seeing that” he choked out, beginning to bite down on his lip hard.

“Ah.. Well shit.” Draco mumbled, opening up the box of pie, his eyes lit up. “Well, we could just ignore it?” He suggested, shovelling a load of cherry pie on to the plates Adele had gotten earlier.

“So you guys are like super magic men?” She asked, grabbing a piece of pie for herself. “If you can do that, why do you buy food?” She asked curiously, biting in to the pie.

“Well transfigured food isn’t really.. Welll...” Harry frowned and grabbed some apple pie.

Adele beamed. “Tell. me. EVERYTHING” she lounged back and listened intently as Draco began to explain Wizards, magic, Hogwarts and everything in between.

——————

After they were throughly stuffed with pie, the three of them lay back in the loungers staring up at the nights sky, Harry’s mind racing with peculiar thoughts.

“Well, that sounds wonderful.” She mumbled dreamily. “I wish I was magical.” Draco chuckled “You are.” He replied simply, grabbing a hold of the copy of Romeo and Juliet from earlier. “Do you like books?” He asked Adele, who nodded smiling. “Ya, they’re good.”

Draco opened the cover and began to read the first verses, making up funny accents for each character, it warmed Harry’s heart to see him interacting so openly, so enthusiastically.

After several hours had passed, Adele had fallen asleep Teddy on her lap, Harry was in and out of sleep and Draco curled up, sleeping soundly with his new friends.

That night, he dreamed of flying in the stars, Harry and Adele with him, they were yelling and whooping, smiles plastered on their faces as they did somersaults in the air.

————-

Three days had passed since Adele, Draco and Harry had been eating pies on the balcony, Adele had come back every night after work with more leftovers, she’d even brought books of her own to share with the boys.

Harry had purchased a large plush rug, several beanbags and a television for Draco’s living room, he thought if this were to be a regular occurrence they’d need something else to do, that and he was looking forward to sharing his favourite movies with the pair.

On the fourth day, Harry had realised it had been over a week since he’d been home, but every time he suggested it the look on Draco’s face which turned from sadness, to anxiety to a downright hurt expression had encouraged him to stay.

Sitting on the rug, Harry had been watching a Lethal Weapon movie when Draco began to breathe a little heavier than what was ‘normal’

Turning his head lazily, he looked to Draco who was laying up against a beanbag, tears and a fearful expression on his face.

Harry shot up rather fast and shifted over to him, shaking his arm a little.
“Hey, hey..” he nudged him a little more.
“Are you okay? Draco?” He asked, worry clearly marking his features.

Draco looked up at him blankly, wiped the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand and nodded. “I’m sorry.” He whimpered, his body shaking.

“What for?” asked Harry, wrapping his arms around him gently. “Hey, it’s okay.” he mumbled soothingly, Draco moved up to hug him back, burying his face in Harry’s chest. “I don’t know.” Came the meek reply, after a few minutes his chest stopped heaving and his crying subsided, leaving only the sound of seagulls squawking outside and the light sound of the movie playing. “You want to go for a walk?” Harry asked, pulling back slightly. Grey met green, Harry felt as though he was looking in to the other mans soul, he felt a little uncomfortable, but never faltered - he felt like this was a deep intimate moment that he was intruding.

“No, I think I’d just like to sit here with you for a while.” Draco whispered, grabbing a hold of Harry’s hand. He sniffed and shuffled to sit shoulder to shoulder with Harry, not really paying attention to the tv rather his heartbeat which threatened to pop out of his chest and the sound of Harry’s breathing.

‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ Draco thought, frowning down at his interlocked fingers.

Harry smiled slightly, feeling perhaps just a little more flustered than he ought to be, a pink blush staining his cheeks.

Chapter Text

Harry had sat through an entire movie marathon which included all of the Lethal Weapons, Die Hard, Labyrinth, for some reason Draco seemed to take interest in a Spice Girls movie which made him cringe inwardly, but nevertheless if it made him feel better then he was more than happy to watch it. After that, which Draco had described as "pish" they'd decided to watch Elvira, Mistress of the Dark which seemed to take Draco's particular interest and after in depth teasing about his attraction to boobs rather than the actual movie, they'd called it a night and Draco had gone to his actual bed that night, leaving Harry wondering in the living room, and very alone.

The next morning, Harry bit his lip hard, deep in thought. He knew he had to go back home, he knew he would have worried friends and family - that and he really needed to figure out what he was actually doing with his life. Staying with Draco had been a really nice escape - something he needed. Running a hand through his hair, Harry wasn't really sure how he planned to tell Draco that he needed to leave, every time he even mentioned that he would need to return Draco would pale and have some sort of panic attack. Harry decided, he would just go really quickly back, answer his owls, gather some clothes and sort out some things. 'I'll be back before he even wakes up.' He thought, nodding in agreement.

Standing up, Harry dusted himself down and wandered to the kitchen, he wrote up on the whiteboard attached to Draco's long forgotten calendar 'Gone to grab clothes and stuff, back soon.' He took one last look, torn. He nodded to himself and apparated out of the kitchen.

 

---------------

 

Draco awoke, rubbing his eyes he peered over at the small clock on his bedside table and yawned. He felt pretty well rested considering, pulling himself out of bed he grabbed a t-shirt from the bottom of his bed and pulled it over his head, he looked in to the small round mirror and cringed, he looked thin, his hair was an absolute state too. 'Ugh' he thought as he wandered out the room, looking around he frowned and walked towards the kitchen, peering through the archway he turned around quickly, half jogging towards the balcony his stomach dropped. "Harry?" he called out frantically, after he looked everywhere, twice, he started to choke back sobs and fell on to the rug. He was alone.

A loud knock pulled him back from his crippling reality, he wiped his eyes and ran towards the door, flinging it open. Stood in front of him, Adele was smiling which quickly turned to that of worry when she saw the state of him. "Oh god, Draco are you okay?" she asked carefully, eyes scanning his body. "What happened? What's wrong?" she pushed, walking through the door she closed it behind her and shuffled him towards the sofa, where they sat down together.

"I don't know." he trembled, shaking his head. "Harry isn't here, I don't know where he's gone." he admitted sadly, head hung. "Oh god, did you two argue?" she asked, rubbing his back in circle motions. "No."

Adele sighed, shaking her head. "You need to clean yourself up a little Draco, here, I'll make a cup of tea and you go get dressed, yeah?" she asked softly, making a gesturing motion with her hand towards his bathroom, he nodded slowly and got up, walking towards it turning his head back towards her. "Go on, I'm just making tea." she grinned, walking towards the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, Adele filled the kettle up and placed it back on the base, clicking the switch she turned around and leaned against the counter, eyes scanning the room - they rested upon the calendar with many X's and a note on the whiteboard. Shaking her head, she walked back through the archway "He's coming back, he left a note saying he's going to get clothes and shit" 

Draco peered round the bathroom door, a relieved smile on his face. "Okay."

 

--------------


It had taken Harry way longer than he had expected to sort out everything he needed, after shoving his clothes in to a holdall he went in to the bathroom and gathered his toothbrush, toiletries and other 'random garbage' as he muttered to himself and added it to the side pocket of his bag. He wandered out in to the living room, bag slung across his shoulder to be greeted by a very angry looking Hermione Granger.

"Where the hell have you been Harry?!" she exclaimed loudly, a deep frown etched to her forehead. "Uhh..." He scratched the back of his head and smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry 'Mione, I've been busy." he walked towards her and threw the bag on to the nearest soft surface. "You know, sorting my life and all that." he added vaguely, peering over to the window ledge where a massive stack of mail seemed to be laying. He gulped and averted his eyes.

"That is an unacceptable answer, I demand to know where you've been, we've all been worried sick!" she shouted, arms flapping wildly. "Ron has asked, Molly is pissed off, how could you?!"

Harry let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, where to begin? He could hardly say 'Well Hermione I've been spending my time with Draco Malfoy watching movies and eating left over pie with a very nice dog enthusiast cafe worker.' the thought gave a slight chuckle which in turn a cringe when he seen the deathly stare on Hermione's face.

"Well?!" she demanded, hands now placed firmly on hips.

"I've been with a friend." 

"What friend?" she scolded, glaring at him.

"You know... A friend." he replied simply, picking his bag up once again, he wandered to the window and shoved the mail in the other side pocket of his holdall. "I'll tell you soon, okay?" he promised, peering back. Hermione wore a tired expression and nodded in defeat. "Are you safe?" she whispered, he wasn't even sure she'd said it. "Yes." he answered simply.

 

---------------

 

Adele had made tea, which was quite possibly the best cup of tea Draco had ever tasted, he hummed contently as he gripped the mug with both hands. Adele snorted and shook her head. "Honestly, I've never seen someone look so content with a cup of tea before." Shrugging Draco smiled softly and then frowned. "Where's Teddy today?" he asked, looking around the room as if he would be able to spot him. "Oh, he's at the doggy daycare place, he gets a nice haircut and some other woofable grooming things." 

Draco frowned deeper, she really was a strange girl. "I could do with a haircut." he mumbled. "I can give you one! I trained in that but it wasn't very interesting so I didn't actually get a job doing it." Standing up abruptly, Adele fled the apartment for several minutes, returning with a big bag full of random hairdressing equipment.

Sitting quietly, Draco listened as Adele chatted about people who had come in to the Cafe that day, the food she cooked, stories she'd heard, she talked about a man who owned a dog on her usual route taking Teddy for a walk, how she'd love to talk to him but she was too shy. After an hour, Draco stood in front of the mirror donning a shorter, wavier haircut - not something he'd have personally chosen, quite honestly it made him look like some teens dream but he was happy nonetheless.

"Thanks Adele." he smiled warmly. Giggling, she nodded her head. "You look like a supermodel!" she exclaimed, packing the equipment away in to her bag.

 

----------------

 

A little while later, Harry returned with a pop and dropped his bag down beside the sofa. He turned around, eyes wide as he spotted Draco. "Wow." he breathed, suddenly feeling his heart race a little. "You look..." He trailed off, interrupted by Adele. "Gorgeous!" she finished his sentence, grinning widely like a banshee. 

"Go on then Draco, give your boyfriend a twirl!" She said a little bit too enthusiastically, unaware she'd gotten entirely the wrong end of the stick, Draco's eyes widened and behind her, Harry choked.

 

 

 

Chapter Text

"You've gotten completely the wrong idea Adele..." Harry choked out, blushing furiously. "Me and.. Well we're not a couple." he added, biting his lower lip. "Just friends."

"Friends." Draco repeated, as if he was trying to convince himself. "Oh I'm so sorry!" Adele exclaimed, making her way to the front door, her face as red as fire. "I got to go, bye!" she stammered, exiting the apartment quickly.

"Uh, well that was weird." Harry fidgeted around, eventually sitting down on the sofa, he looked up at Draco who was leaning up against the wall, deep in thought. "Draco?" Harry called, frowning at the man. His features were really striking, apart from the fact he was definitely under nourished, Draco was beautiful. His haircut suited him well, Harry's frowned deepened at his train of thought and he cleared his throat. "Draco?" he called again, still not managing to get the other mans attention.

Harry wasn't even sure the other man was in to men, he wasn't even sure he was in to men. Fuck. Draco bit down on his lower lip hard, he then made his way to his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Harry raised an eyebrow he wandered over to the door and knocked lightly. "Are you okay?" he asked, worry evident in his voice. "Fine." came the simple reply. Sighing, Harry retreated to the couch once again, laying down on it - he stared up at the ceiling, for what seemed like an age he closed his eyes and sleep enveloped him.

 

--------------------

 

Draco sat on the edge of his bed, picking at imaginary dirt on his trousers. He knew that he had some feelings for the other man, but he couldn't help but feel the pang of pain in his stomach when Harry had declared they were just friends. He hadn't been there for that long but to Draco, it felt he'd been there forever.

An unsettling feeling brewed in the pit of Draco's stomach, he was bothered about something but he couldn't figure out what it was, he was trying to pinpoint the moment in his life where he realized Harry Potter had become everything to him. The reason Draco hadn't killed himself was because Harry came to the door, the reason he left the house, Harry. The reason Draco had started eating relatively properly, Harry.

A tear ran down his cheek as he realized that he was irrevocably in love with Harry. He was an idiot, he never used to be this weak idiot he was now, he hated himself more and more. Harry wasn't gay, he was just helping, why would he want to be with an Ex Death Eater? Why would he want someone as pathetic as Draco.

He choked out a sob and grabbed a raincoat off the chair in his room, he had never put this coat on in months, throwing it around his shoulders he quietly exited the bedroom, his eyes moving towards the sleeping form of Potter on his couch. His insides hurt, he couldn't take it. He walked over to Harry, brushing a lock of hair out of his face he gently pressed his lips to Harry's forehead, before fleeing the apartment.

 

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You're not worth anything, you're an idiot, you're fucking stupid, ugly, useless, you can't even string together a simple sentence, you even failed at being evil. Just a string of different thoughts flashing through Draco's mind as he ran as fast as he could down the road, it was raining his hair becoming a matted wet mess, he didn't care, tears poured down his cheeks. He loved too fast, too hard, all the years of suppression had come out, he was sick of his life.

Looking around frantically, bile rose in Draco's throat, he was outside there were other people around, he didn't have Harry to comfort him, he had nobody, he could feel the panic setting in, he tried to focus as he ran but his vision became blurry, he spotted an alleyway and retreated like a wounded animal, leaning up against the concrete wall he let out shallow breaths, they started to become full on panting before he let out a gut wrenching sob.

He began to punch the wall, harder, harder, just a little harder, his hand was now a blooded mess, he retracted his fist quickly after the eighth punch and winced.

"I'm done." he whispered, before he walked out of the alleyway. He was going to do it. "Stop being weak, be strong, for every persons sake, just end it." Draco nodded to himself as he began to walk further and further down the street, he knew there was a bridge nearby, he would do it this time.

 

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Harry woke up abruptly to the sound of frantic knocking on the door, he wiped sleep out of his eyes and yawned, his eyes settled on the open door of Draco's bedroom and frowned. Padding towards the door, he swung it open and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, ushering Adele inside the apartment quickly.

"I saw Draco, he looked upset, is he okay?" she asked, eyes darting around the apartment.

"You saw Draco where?" Harry asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. "Wait." he stopped putting a hand on her right arm. "Outside?" he demanded.

"Yeah! he was running, I was walking Teddy, he was running and crying I think." she looked up at Harry, who now had a worried look etched on to his face.

He instantly bolted out of the apartment, forgetting a coat and shoes.

 

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Draco finally reached the bridge, he gasped as he slammed up against the railing. "You can do this." he tried to convince himself, his eyes were now red and swollen with tears, he sat down on the ground pulling his knees up to his chest. "You can do this."

"Just do it." he whispered.

Chapter Text

Harry began to run down the street as he exited Draco's apartment, a look of wild terror on his face - he'd forgotten his shoes and the rain was crashing down as hard as it could, his feet were immediately wet, his socks becoming a mushy mess. He ran down one street, looking through the illuminated shop windows, his eyes settling on a cafe, he bit his lower lip not able to spot the blonde, he turned and began to run once again.

He scanned the many passerby's, searched down alleyways, his eyes darting wildly down streets - he wasn't sure where Draco could be, if he really thought about it he didn't know a lot about the other man at all. Harry didn't know a lot about mental illness, choosing to ignore Hermione's pleas to go to a mind healer after the war, he just wanted to blot it out and pretend it didn't happen which really wasn't something he could get away with being the Boy Who Lived. Sighing, Harry ran a hand through his now damp matted hair.

Thinking back to what Draco had said to him, he wondered if maybe he'd gone to see his mother, or if maybe he'd gone to see one of his friends. Harry hadn't really thought about Draco's friends, but he realized he'd never seen any of them come round, he'd not even bumped in to any of them in years, with the mild exception of Blaise, however he'd only really talked to him once and it was because he was now dating Ginny.

"Where are you Draco?" he whispered to himself, letting out a breath he began to run once again. After five minutes of frantic searching, Harry stood under the dim light of a lamp post and considered his options, he could find one of Draco's friends, he could alert his mother Narcissa, he could ask Ron or Hermione for help, but he would then have to explain why he'd spent the last god knows how long in Draco's company, not that he wouldn't want to do that but he wasn't sure it was healthy for Draco's mental health. Which brought up the other question, what exactly was wrong with Draco? What had happened to make the other man like this - or was he always like this?

He thought back to the jibes and taunts at school, the look of disgust on Draco's face, the fist fights, the cursing, the duels, he thought back to the badges in Fourth Year, he laughed at the memory, he was pissed at the time but it made him laugh now, it seemed so childish and juvenile, he missed those times, although they were hell it was simpler when he didn't have to contend with actual adult life.
Up ahead, Harry knew there was a park. He had sat at the fountain before, watching the world pass him by, he never knew then that Draco lived sort of close to it, he never bumped in to him - of course he wouldn't. Harry's mind flashed back to the calendar on the wall in Draco's kitchen, the crosses - he thought of the other man not wanting to leave his apartment and he suddenly started to feel sick. What if Draco had done something stupid?

Trying to ignore the feeling of sickness, pain and the ache in his chest, Harry began to walk again, his shirt had began to stick to his skin like it was meant to be there, his hair a matted mess, raindrops fell down his tanned cheeks. "Draco?" he called out, as though that was supposed to help. He began to jog after a while down the street, his eyes resting on a man sitting on the ground.
"Draco!" Harry shouted, running over the road, narrowly missing a car coming past, he waved in apology and jogged towards the blonde, who seemed to be rocking himself back and forth.
"Draco are you alright?" Harry asked softly, resting a hand on his shoulder.

 

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A million thoughts went through Draco's mind all at once, feeling of worthlessness, panic, he felt as though he'd failed his mother, he failed everyone - he had an unending feeling of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, he thought to himself that if he was gone other people could move on, but then he realized nobody really cared about him anyway - when had been the last time he saw Pansy? or Blaise? When had been the last time he'd saw anyone except his mother?

Harry. His one thought, he had become rapidly reliant on Harry, he thought back to earlier with Adele, the look on Harry's face when he noticed Draco's haircut had sent a tidal wave of butterflies to his stomach, it almost looked like he thought he was worth it. Cut short by Harry saying he and Draco were just friends, as if that was all they would ever be. Of course, Draco knew that they hadn't defined their relationship and he was probably just living in cloud cuckoo land, but sometimes at night whilst he watched Harry sleep, he dreamed of a fantasy land where him and the Gryffindor idiot were in love, happy, healthy with friends in abundance, he'd cook him dinner and he'd be grateful, he'd bring him tea and they'd eat biscuits and watch the stars, as they'd already done.

Sighing, Draco wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand, which was proving a little useless under the frankly disgusting weather they were having.

Standing up, Draco put one foot up on the concrete of the bridge wall, using the rail to hoist himself up, he peered down at the park below. He'd been terrified of heights since that night in the Room of Requirement, he'd avoided flying - the smell of burning flesh, the terror of blazing heat and the only one spark of joy being Harry, who held his hand out for him - he felt redeemed, but that was ridiculous.

Biting down on his lower lip, Draco contemplated jumping for a moment, he wondered how it would feel, if he would pass out mid air or he'd be awake to feel the crush of the ground below him, he wondered if he'd bleed out or he'd just break his bones, he wondered about the pain. He thought of Harry, what if he was the one to find him? The broken remnants of his body?

He was weak, he knew he was. He'd loved Harry for many years if he'd thought about it honestly, Pansy had wound him up about his obsession for Harry, sometimes he'd stood waiting for Harry in corridors just so he could insult him, so he'd get a reaction out of him somehow - he'd spent hours and hours formulating plans for humiliation, some of them he'd not even went through with because even by his previous 'evil' standards it was too much.

Jumping down from the rail, Draco sighed, he shook his head and sat back down on the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest once again. "You're weak - you're useless." he said to himself, scolding.
His head snapped up at the sound of his voice, his eyes resting on Harry who looked frantic. Draco blushed hard, he felt so stupid sitting here. He'd intended to either rot in his apartment for the rest of his life, or eventually kill himself. He was horribly embarrassed that another person had learnt that knowledge.

Looking up at Harry, who was now kneeling down in front of him, he smiled softly. "Harry." he breathed, placing his hand on top of his. "Are you alright?" Harry repeated, staring in to Draco's eyes, as if he was looking for the answer to the universe, Draco bit the inside of his mouth and nodded slightly. "I'm sorry." he whispered. "I was, I was going to.." He trailed off, his eyes moving towards the railing of the bridge, receiving a gasp in response.

"Why?" asked Harry, who linked his fingers with Draco's, giving his hand a squeeze. "I-I.." Draco looked down at his lap and blinked tears out of his eyes. How would he explain this one?
"Draco" Harry whispered, resting his head against Draco's, he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "It doesn't matter, come on lets go back to your house." Harry moved away slightly, Draco looked up, frowning, their faces just inches apart and nodded.

 

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Harry never let Draco's hand go after he'd helped him up off the ground, they began to walk towards the apartment, however Harry was now aware of how uncomfortable he really felt. His socks were soaking, a mushy mess, his jeans were so wet they were chafing between his thighs, his shirt was so stuck to his body he shivered. "Fuck sake." Harry whined, trying to pull the shirt back a little with his free hand.

Draco, who had said nothing the entire walk looked towards him. "Mmm?" Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm so fucking wet." he groaned, causing Draco to laugh. "The only time a man wouldn't want to hear that." came the response which shocked Harry, he sounded so carefree, almost like - no. He wouldn't think about that.

"Shut up." Harry teased, a smile appearing on the corner of his mouth. As they reached the apartment, Harry opened the front door and walked inside, he dropped Draco's hand and pulled his shirt over his shoulders, throwing it on to the ground.

He then began to unbuckle his belt, pulling it through the belt loops he threw that down beside the shirt - he unbuttoned his jeans and started pulling them down his legs when he realized what he was actually doing and blushed wildly.

Draco, who had shut the door behind them was staring, slightly startled at the other man undressing in front of him. "Um, Potter?" he snorted, eventually moving past him. Harry coughed, closing one eye. "Uh, I'm sorry I'll er.. Shower.. Yeah.." he ran towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him rather abruptly.

Draco shook his head and walked to his bedroom, he took his clothes off and spelled himself dry, quickly redressing in a pair of soft gray linen trousers and a white t-shirt, he exited his bedroom and walked towards the kitchen in search of tea. Tea made everything better.

 

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After Harry had finished showering, he left the bathroom and padded in to the living room with a big white towel wrapped around his waist, he yanked his bag up on to the sofa and began rooting through it for fresh clothes.

"You do know we have magic, right?" Draco had an amused look on his face as he walked towards Harry with a steaming cup of tea, Harry looked at the tea and smiled. "Well yeah, but - well I'm an idiot." he admitted, taking the cup out of Draco's hands. He sipped it and hummed in appreciation. "So good." he placed the cup on the coffee table and plonked himself down on the sofa, not bothering to actually change in to his clothes.

Draco snorted and sat down beside him, a half scowl on his face. "You better not be getting your sweaty bollocks all over my couch Potter." he reprimanded, shaking his finger at him accusingly. Harry raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Well I'm glad to see you in a better mood."

Draco bit his lower lip, a slightly worried expression immediately flickered past his features, Harry shrugged and yawned loudly. "I've just woken up and I'm already knackered." he moaned, flapping his arms about like he was a bird. Draco shook his head. "Idiot."

"So are we going to talk about... That?" he gestured towards Draco and bit his lip, which seemed to become a rather annoying habit. "Depends." came the reply. "On what?" Harry asked, his eyes meeting Draco's. "If you want to."

Harry rolled his eyes and nodded "Well I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to, would I?" Draco shrugged his shoulders in response and leaned over to pick his own cup of tea up, he cradled it with both hands and brought his knees up to his chest. "I-I, I don't know."

"Draco, I care okay?" he admitted, if he was honest with himself he didn't really know where that had come from, but he wanted the other man to know he did, for whatever reason. "Okay."
Harry groaned and stood up, wandering towards the bookcase he'd transfigured in the corner of Draco's living room, he picked up a book and walked back towards the sofa, passing the book to Draco. "Do you want to read?"

Draco was surprised, he thought he'd have to spill his innermost thoughts to the other man, who looked increasingly concerned with every move he made, he hadn't really expected Potter to drop it, or rather drop it for now. He nodded in agreement and took the book off him, smiling at the title. Alice in Wonderland. Draco did like this book, even if it was a children's book.

"Why this one?"

Harry laughed "We're all mad here."

Draco thought for a moment and smiled. "You know, I wondered sometimes if Alice had followed someones animagus when I first read it, but when I realized it was a Muggle children's book I was far too far through it and I didn't really want to stop reading it because of what it was." he admitted, opening the cover to the book. This was the copy from the Manor, it had been his when he was a child, it was battered and bruised - he'd read it hundreds of times, sometimes wondering if he could escape like Alice.

"Hey Harry..." Draco started, looking over to Harry who had his eyes closed. "Mm?" Draco smiled. "Don't you think it's weird that Adele's dog is what your godson is called?" Harry opened his eyes and looked over to Draco. "Uh, that was random." thinking for a moment he nodded his head. "I did think about it for a minute when she said, but I mean Teddy's name is Edward so unless her dog is called Edward - but I get the irony, he's a dog, Teddy's father was a werewolf."

Draco frowned at the thought and shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't think about his father, Teddy is my cousin." he sighed his eyes reaching Chapter One. "Oh yeah, I suppose he is." Harry nodded.
Setting his cup down on the coffee table, he shifted in his seat so he was more comfortable and started to read. After an hour, Harry had moved his head in to Draco's lap, staring up at the other man as he read, Draco was carefully running his free hand through Harry's hair, not really thinking about the action at the time.

Harry soon fell asleep, thinking of nothing but Draco.

 

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Draco had fallen asleep shortly after Harry, the book slipping from his hand and landing on the floor. After several hours, he awoke abruptly to the sound of the other man fussing. Draco knew what
nightmares were like, he had several of his own demons to contend with, Harry's face was scrunched up, he looked like a terrified child.

We're all broken, we all need fixed. Draco shook Harry lightly. "Harry." he whispered, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. "Harry." he repeated, shaking him a little harder this time. Gasping, Harry woke up and bolted up right hitting his head off Draco's chin. "Ow" Draco moaned, wincing at the pain in his chin.

"Sorry!" Harry exclaimed, moving forwards to inspect the damage. "You'll live." he stated, a smirk on his face. Draco rolled his eyes. "You were having a nightmare." he whispered, staring at Harry.
"Mm, happens so much these days I barely remember them." he sighed, stretching his arms in a Y shape. "Thanks for waking me up though." he smiled.

Draco nodded and looked down at his feet. "I think, I should probably go see my mother." Harry nodded too, his smile widening. "That's a good idea, she'd love that."

Pondering the thought for a moment, Draco opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again, it was a stupid suggestion, but... Harry seemed to figure his thought process. "You want me to come with you?" he tried to say as casually as possible, but it seemed to come out rather forceful than anything else.

Draco nodded again. "I'd love that."

Chapter Text

Draco chewed on his lower lip, on the one hand visiting his mother had seemed like a good idea, it also seemed like a good idea to agree when Harry asked him if he would like to come with him, but on the other hand he now actually had to do it - which was a little difficult considering his current inner turmoil. He had been waiting for Harry to leave the bathroom, patiently. No. Not patiently.
Exhaling, Draco wandered over to the balcony, he sat on the side of his favorite lounger and ran a hand through his hair.

 

"The fuck is wrong with me?" he mumbled to himself, standing up. The weather was still as shocking as it had been the previous day, the rain was pelting down at full whack the entire street glistening with rain, Muggles seemed to be bustling down the street unawares, umbrellas up some even smiling. Draco rolled his eyes, nobody could be that happy to be out in the pissing rain. Hearing the creak of the bathroom door, he turned his head on its side and inwardly groaned.

 

"Are you ready?" Harry asked, toweling his hair as he walked towards the balcony. "Do I not look ready?" came the reply, Draco who was now inspecting his clothes, brushing invisible lint off his light gray linen suit, he frowned and looked up at Harry again, who was smiling. "I didn't mean anything by it, I just asked if you were ready." shrugging his shoulders, Harry slipped his trainers on and rolled his shoulders. "My back is absolutely aching, that fucking sofa isn't comfortable after a while."

 

Draco snorted. "Well it wasn't meant to be slept on was it?" shoving his hands in to his trouser pockets, he walked through to the living room, closing the balcony door behind him. He frowned, he'd never done that in months. "Alright you sarcy bugger." Harry laughed, picking up his jacket off the back of the sofa he threw it over his shoulder and yawned again. "You know if you're too tired I can go on my own.." Harry shrugged at that, gesturing to the door with his head. "Come on, before I kick you out the door."

 

"I mean, we could just have a cup of tea first." Draco's eyes moved towards the kitchen, which seemed like a much better idea than actually going out of that dreaded door. "We might even have special biscuits." nodding his head, Draco began to walk towards the kitchen. "Yeah, kitchen, biscuits, tea." Harry sighed, grabbing Draco's arm. "Come on now, you said you were going to see your mother." Draco narrowed his eyes, as though he'd been caught. "Well I didn't actually tell her I was coming, so I mean..."

 

Harry sighed again, shaking his head. "Come on, we can have tea when we see your mother." Draco chewed on his lip. He wasn't really keen on the Manor, all it's dark corridors and memories. Those fucking azaleas and roses in the garden, the unending question of his mother 'do you like my azaleas' or 'Draco what do you think of my roses?' Oh, and what about Harry? He could hardly just rock up to the Manor with Harry fucking Potter with a whole how do you do mother, here's the Savior of the Wizarding World can he have a cup of your famous Tetley and we can all sit down and have a mothers meeting about your fucking roses? Wait, no. His mother had asked Harry to come see him, his mother was plotting. What was she up to? What was Harry up to? The entire thing set his teeth on edge, the pit of his stomach now a cesspool of sickness.

 

"Harry..." Draco started, he wasn't really sure where he was going with this, he wasn't sure if he had any rational thought left, but nevertheless. "You know how you said, my mother said, that I said.." turning his head towards Harry, who looked utterly confused, he sighed. "Never mind."

 

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After a good twenty minutes of petty arguments, Draco making up excuses, Harry taking his coat on and off, a cup of tea and a 'special' biscuit, Draco finally decided that he was going to visit his mother now, much to Harry's relief. After Draco had side-alonged them outside the Manor gates, Harry smiled slightly. He looked towards the blonde - he felt nothing but fondness for his previous 'enemy' Hermione had told him a few months that he didn't trust anyone and he wasn't going to make any new friends if he kept acting the way he did his counter argument was that he didn't need any new friends, but Hermione had just looked at him with that knowing look and walked away. He'd never really thought about the prospect of friendship with Malfoy, he'd always wanted to plant him one if he was honest with himself, but something inside him was always curious.

 

"Alright then?" Harry asked, scratching the back of his head.

 

Draco was stood staring up at the Manor with wide eyes, it looked a lot less gloomier than he remembered, he'd not been here THAT long ago really, but the front of the Manor was teeming with new plants. It almost looked inviting which to Draco was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
"Can't we just go back home?" asked Draco, turning his head on its side. Harry let out a snort and shook his head "Come on, you said you needed to visit your mother, so lets visit your mother. I'm sure she won't bite."

"Hm."

Opening the wrought iron gates, Draco and Harry began to walk up the long path towards Malfoy Manor. Harry winced slightly, remembering the last time he had been here. The motion was not lost on Draco, who looked at him sympathetically. "We can still go home." he mumbled under his breath, but Harry heard him and laughed. "It's fine." the ground crunched beneath Harry's feet as he walked, he wondered what Narcissa may have to say - the last time he'd seen her she told him Malfoy wanted to see him, he frowned at the thought and stopped just outside the large front doors.

Just as Harry was about to use the knocker, the doors swung wide open leaving his arm hovering mid-air. Stood at the door, Narcissa smiled slightly, gesturing for them to enter.

"Mother." Draco said simply, stepping inside his ancestral home. "Hello Draco, Mr Potter." Harry nodded and smiled sheepishly, following closely behind Draco who stopped abruptly, he bumped in to the back of him and frowned. "You've changed the decor."

"Mmm, it was a little dated." Looking towards Harry, Narcissa never flinched once. "It's nice to see you again Mr. Potter." scuffing the floor with the toe of his shoe, Harry nodded. He was nervous - he never thought he'd come back to this place - he never really wanted to.

"Harry, and it's nice to see you too Mrs. Malfoy." A knowing look on her face, she simply gestured towards the drawing room. "Narcissa."

 

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After a very uncomfortable silence, followed by very uncomfortable small talk, Harry was deeply regretting his decision to accompany Draco to Malfoy Manor. He sat on a plush deep black sofa, staring down at a mahogany coffee table. In the middle of the coffee table sat a bowl of potpourri, something Harry despised. Aunt Petunia always seemed to have potpourri on every end table, she claimed it made the house smell warm and friendly. There was absolutely nothing warm nor friendly about Privet Drive, so the irony was not lost on him.

Taking in the decor of the drawing room, Harry wasn't sure he'd ever been in this particular part of the house, the walls were a deep dark emerald, with gilded cornices. The walls had some sort of swirling pattern, he'd seen it somewhere before but he hadn't a clue where - maybe Grimmauld. Furniture was sparse, aside from the coffee table and the two plush black sofas there was a mahogany sideboard along the back wall which had some gaudy ornamental plates sat atop of it.

Tapping his foot, Harry sipped on the tea brought earlier by a house elf, which seemed rather pleased to see him. Harry sighed and set the teacup down on the coffee table, his eyes moving to meet the gaze of both Draco then Narcissa who seemed to be waiting for something.

"Are you alright?" came the quiet voice next to him of Draco, a worried look etched on his face. "Yes.. Why?" he replied, meeting Draco's eyes. Draco didn't respond, he simply bit his lower lip and shrugged his shoulders. "Zoned out." Harry whispered, offering a small smile.

After a short conversation with Narcissa with minimal input from Harry, Draco stood up and brushed his trousers off. "Well we best be going, thank you for the tea Mother."

"You're welcome, come back soon, yes?" Narcissa smiled warmly towards her son, Harry could see she really did love him. Maybe her actions were a little sly, but she just wanted what was best for him. Nodding in response, Draco grabbed a hold of Harry's arm and moved him towards the front door quickly.

Leaving the Manor, Draco let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and ran a hand through his hair. "I hate going there now, it feels wrong." Harry nodded in response and gazed around the Manor grounds once again. It really was beautiful out here, it was just a shame the memories had ruined that.

"Home?"

"Yeah, home."

 

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After arriving back at the apartment, Harry yawned lightly and threw his body down on to the sofa. Going to the Manor had been mentally exhausting for both of them it seemed, he was proud Draco had left and gone to see his mother, but his face was paler than ever, his eyes almost haunting.

Following suit, Draco sat down beside Harry, turning his head on the side. "Thank you for coming with me."

"Anytime."

"I know you don't mean that, I think it was as horrible for you as it was for me." he chuckled, kicking his shoes off under his coffee table. Harry raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Oh yes, so much so I feel like throwing my shoes across the room too." Batting his arm, Draco scowled at him. "Shut up, it's not as if you haven't just left your bloody shoes where you stand either." Standing up, Draco walked towards the kitchen. "You making tea?"

"Make your own bloody tea Potter, I'm not your house elf." he sneered, disappearing through the archway to his kitchen.

"Oh there he is, there's the Malfoy I know." Harry smiled fondly.

Chapter Text

Draco came back through from the kitchen with two steaming mugs of tea, a slightly defeated look on his face. "Here's your tea." he mumbled, passing the cup to Harry who had looked up with a frown on his face. "Thanks." Nodding in reply, Draco sat down beside him and sighed. "You know, I love my mother, but I really hate going back there."

Harry thought about the calendar again, about how much time he'd spent locked inside the Manor before he moved in to this apartment, he opened his mouth to speak but closed it. "What?" asked Draco, looking at him expectantly. "Nothing, I just... I thought about your calendar, I wondered..."

"You wondered what?" narrowing his eyes, Draco set the cup down on the coffee table and turned his body in Harry's direction.

"Malfoy, we were never friends. We hated each other, one day your mother told me you wanted to talk to me, so I came." he started, not really sure where he was going with this, it had been playing on his mind for several days. "You're, well.. You're not, you." placing his own cup down beside Draco's, he turned his body towards him too. "What happened?"

A startled look on his face, Draco dipped his head, he knew this question was coming. After the conversation they'd had in the kitchen he wondered how long it would take Harry to ask.

He trusted Harry, he knew he did, he let him in to his life and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to let him go, he felt comfort by him being there, he felt cared for. Draco never imagined in his wildest dreams it would be Harry Potter that meant the most to him in the bubble world he created for himself, but he knew that he made him feel better. Chewing his lower lip between his teeth, he gathered his thoughts and looked up to those emerald green eyes, which held so much warmth.

"I sent letters, when I was in the Manor, after the war." His eyes never left Harry's who was staring back in to his intently. Draco began to fidget with his trouser leg, he was nervous and he could feel his hands start to clam. "When you testified for me, I looked at you and I realized one thing - although I loved my parents, I do love my parents, I was wrong." He sighed and looked down at his hands, feeling embarrassed. "I was an idiot, I followed their word blindly. My mother, she just wanted to keep us safe. My mother was so scared, she would sit in that drawing room and cry, the Dark Lord never went near that part of the house, she would sit there and cry, she'd pray to some God out there that her family would be safe, that the Dark Lord would not prevail."

Startled by this revelation, Harry placed his hand on top of Draco's, his head snapped up, his eyes asking a million questions, all unanswered. "I followed my father blindly, accepting all the hate and the trash for so many years, he told me in first year that if I couldn't befriend you I had to despise you, in second year he told me something was coming and that I should be careful but I didn't know what, when students started getting attacked I assumed you were the problem, after the whole parseltongue incident." a dry laugh escaped his lips, he shook his head, a tear began to roll down his pale face.

"I could've said something, I could've... I saw my father slip something in to Weasley's Cauldron but I said nothing." His hand began to shake below Harry's, but something in Potter's expression kept him from having a panic attack or a complete meltdown.

"It happened all throughout school, I knew something and I never said anything. I was a coward - when the Dark Lord was in the Manor I lived in perpetual terror, I was scared to even go to the toilet." the tears began to flow more freely, glistening against his eyelashes.

"It was only when you were in the Manor, that I thought-" He moved his hand and laced his fingers through Harry's, who was silent the entire time, only his expression changed as Draco talked. "I thought I could do something." he choked out, his entire body vibrating. "I wish I'd done more... So I wrote letters, I never sent them."

Draco looked towards the balcony, he then looked back towards Harry. "I realized how much pain I caused and I couldn't deal with it, I thought it would be better if people didn't see me, see how much pain my family caused, because it would make their pain worse."

Harry shook his head at this, his own eyes began to fill with tears. He could see how much pain Draco was in, how hard this was to talk about, he applauded the man for having the courage to talk about it, but he couldn't imagine the inner turmoil he must've felt. "So you didn't leave the Manor?" Harry eventually spoke, his voice cracking.

"I thought it would be better, but I started to go crazy, I saw things that weren't really there, I would cry and scream, my mother bought me this apartment so I could move on, but I just went backwards I think." he admitted bitterly, shaking his head at the thought. "I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares so vivid I would wake up screaming, so I started reading - I found if I sat out on the balcony I felt a little better, the air is nice."

Nodding his head, Harry moved forwards and wrapped his arms around Draco, who jolted in surprise, slowly he put his arms around Harry and he was pulled in to a rather tight hug, burying his head in Harry's shoulder he closed his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing.

After a few minutes, Harry pulled back and put a hand on his cheek, looking in to his sparkling gray eyes and smiled. "You did what you could. I don't blame you for wanting to protect your family, for being scared. You shouldn't have to hide yourself away because of other people."

Reaching up, Draco put his hand around Harry's, which was still resting on his cheek and closed his eyes. They sat like that for a while, before Draco opened his eyes and sighed. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Harry smiled, removing his hand from Draco's cheek. He looked over to the coffee table and groaned. "Tea's cold."

Quietly chuckling, Draco smirked. "Really, we have a conversation like that and the only thing you're worried about is the fact your bloody tea is cold?"

"Hey! You said you weren't going to make me one, I could've at least drunk it."

"Shut up Potter." he mumbled, a small smile graced his lips. "Want me to make you another one?" Harry yawned and nodded. "I'm going to have to go see Ron and Hermione tomorrow, I've been gone for like a week and a half, or maybe two. Fuck how long have I been here?" he jolted up. "They probably think I'm dead or something."

A hurt expression passed Draco's features before it settled to a sort of scowl. "I won't insult you by asking you if you want me to come with you." he mumbled, standing up from the sofa, he slowly made his way to the kitchen, turning back to look at Harry who was biting the inside of his mouth.

"Well you could, I don't have a problem with it." he shrugged, following Draco to the kitchen.

"I can't go see your friends, Harry."

 

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After they'd had tea and sandwiches, Harry and Draco settled down in the loungers out on the balcony. "You know we haven't seen Adele in a while." Harry commented, scooting around on his chair to find a more comfortable spot.

"No, we haven't." Draco frowned, laying on his side. "Do you think she's alright?" he wondered, the last time he'd seen Adele she cut his hair.

"Uh, I'm not sure, the last time I spoke to her she told me you ran out of here." Harry scratched the side of his head, thinking of the bridge incident. Realizing that Draco had basically taken over Harry's entire life was a startling discovery. He hadn't really thought about it before, he always felt like something was missing in his life, his friends had moved on, they'd found their place in the world and he felt like he was walking on ice, waiting to fall.

"You don't get a lot of owls you know." Draco commented randomly, causing a laugh to escape Harry's lips, he shook his head in response. "I block them because I get so much shit mail I can't be bothered to go through them all."

Raising an eyebrow, Draco looked at him curiously. "What do you mean, shit mail?"

"Well, the Daily Prophet outed me a while back and since then all I've gotten is a load of mail saying how was the Potter name going to continue if I basically take it up the arse."

Choking, Draco sat up straight and cringed. "They actually write that... to you? Vanquisher of Dark Lords, Savior of the Wizarding World, Golden Boy extraordinaire?"

Rolling his eyes, Harry sat up too and shook his head. "When all is said and done, people only care that they're free, they don't give a shit about me." shrugging his shoulders, he looked over the balcony at the people wandering down the street. "Sure I get fan mail, people take photographs and ask for autographs, they're not interested in me as a person just what they can get out of me. They thought telling the world I was gay would be a good headline, which had absolutely no proof to back up the claims"

"Mm, doesn't sound entirely different to me I suppose. People only cared about me because of who my father was." mumbled Draco. He wasn't sure what the uneasy feeling in his stomach was, he had hoped.. No.
"Well there you go then."

Standing up from the lounger, Harry walked across to Draco and held his hand out for him. "Come on, you're going to sleep in an actual bed and if I have to sit with you the entire night and ward you from the nightmares, I'll bloody do it."

Taking his hand hesitantly, Draco stood up and followed him to his bedroom, once inside Draco turned his nose up at the musty smell. "Maybe open a window." he suggested, gesturing towards the large window near his bed.

Harry nodded in agreement. After opening the window, freshening up the room a little, Draco slipped in to his bed and looked up at Harry who sat on the end of the bed. "Thank you."

"I'll be here as long as you need." It was the most comforting words Draco had ever heard from another person, apart from his mother. It stayed in his mind as he drifted off, dreaming of emerald eyes and the most beautiful sunset.

Chapter Text

As Harry sat at the bottom of Draco's bed, he contemplated life. His eyes rested on the bedside table, the same mahogany wood as Malfoy Manor, he wondered if perhaps it was gifted to him. The bed frame was the same, except it was gilded around the edges, much like the drawing room of the Manor. In the middle of the headboard was a Malfoy crest. Clearly this was Draco's bedroom furniture.

On the floor a small magnolia sheepskin rug, Harry pondered the idea the rug was once white, the entire apartment was floored in laminate, Draco's bedroom no exception. The walls were plain white, like the rest of it. Harry wondered why Draco had decided on white, it always seemed rather clinical to him.

He looked over to where the man was sleeping and smiled, he hadn't moved a single inch since he'd closed his eyes. Chewing his lower lip, Harry thought back to the prophet, the article they'd published. After the war, Ginny had sat him down and talked through her dreams and aspirations, she wanted to join a Quidditch team, she wanted to tour the world, she asked him if he wanted to settle down with her, or if he'd come with her - both he'd said no to. It wasn't that he didn't like Ginny, but he'd come to think of her as a sister more than a lover. They'd argued quite a bit - she'd resented his decision.

About seven months after, Ginny had started dating Blaise Zabini - much to Molly's disgust. The last time he'd talked to Hermione, she'd mentioned Luna and Neville had finally gotten together, though she'd quickly dodged that subject when Ron started talking about wrackspurts. He found the common thought popping in to his head, that he was left behind. As he gazed upon the sleeping man in front of him, he came to the startling realization. He'd made Draco Malfoy the center of his life, unknowingly, and although he'd thought about it before, he'd never thought that maybe he was developing feelings other than plain friendship.

Standing up from the bed, Harry turned his ankles around in a circular motion, he'd been so lost in thought he hadn't realized his foot had gone to sleep. He began to walk around the bedroom a little, it was small. There wasn't really that much to look at. Well actually, as much could be said for the entire apartment. Although it was Draco's home, it didn't really feel like his home, something temporary, almost as though he'd known he wouldn't be there for long.

A shudder came across Harry as the thought of suicide crossed his mind, he thought back to the bridge incident, how many more times had Draco tried to do this before Harry came along? Did he make it worse? Or better? Was this better? He had so many questions, but he wasn't sure he'd like any of the answers.

Opening the door, Harry slipped out quietly and shut it behind him. Taking in the apartment, he yawned and padded over to the coffee table, collecting the two mugs left there earlier. As he was walking towards the kitchen, he heard a shuffling noise, peering over his shoulder he frowned and shook his head.

After depositing the cups in to the sink, Harry walked back in to the living room and flinched. Wrapped in his duvet Draco stood outside his bedroom door, a sad look on his face. "Why did you go?" he asked in a small voice, almost childlike.

"You were asleep, I was just clearing up. Got foot cramp." He walked towards Draco, stopping in front of him. "Are you alright?"

Nodding slowly, Draco walked towards him and leaned his head on Harry's chest, letting out a sigh. Clearly still in a daze from waking up, he quietly whispered "Please don't leave me."

Harry's stomach dropped immediately, a wave of guilt washed over him like a tidal wave. "I promise I'll never leave you." he whispered back, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Walking him back in to the room, Harry closed the door behind them and motioned for Draco to get back in to bed. He watched as the other man gently lay back down, spreading the duvet back over the bed. Battling with his thoughts, Harry rolled his eyes. "Fuck it." he mumbled to himself. Walking over to the other side of the bed, he pulled his trousers off and discarded them on the floor, slipping in the other side of the bed beside Draco.

Startled, Draco turned to face him. "I'm sorry I'm so fucking useless." he whispered. Harry smiled sadly. "You're not useless." he whispered back, moving closer. Harry lifted his arm up, which hovered for several moments before Draco took the invitation and lay his head on Harry's chest. Their bodies pressed together, Draco wrapped his arm around the other mans chest and closed his eyes.

"Sweet dreams." Harry murmured. Draco smiled.

 

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It was early morning when Harry woke up to the most incredible cramp in his arm he'd ever felt, Draco's head lay on it like a dead weight. He groaned and flexed his fingers. The sun had barely risen but light streamed through the window of Draco's bedroom, illuminating him in an almost angelic glow. Harry looked down at the sleeping form and frowned.

If someone had told him two months ago he'd end up cuddling Draco Malfoy in bed he'd have admitted them to St Mungo's. But here he was, in bed, cuddling... With Draco Malfoy.

"Mmmm" came a mumble, Draco shifted slightly causing Harry to groan once more. "Ah god, Draco move your head, Merlin my fucking arm." rubbing his eyes, Draco looked up at Harry and jolted up.

A moan escaped Harry's lips as he stretched his arm out, he sat up and rubbed his shoulder, hoping to relieve some of the tension. "My head isn't that heavy Potter." Draco scowled, laying his head back against the pillows. "It is if you've been laying on my damn arm all night." Harry bit back, rolling his shoulders. "Your head is like a stone fucking boar."

Snorting, Draco rolled his eyes and pulled the duvet up almost to his nose. "Don't be such a crybaby."

"A crybaby?!" growled Harry, turning his body he thumped his head down on Draco's shoulder gaining a groan out of him. "See how you like it then you tosser."

"Get your mop out of my face!" Draco whined, trying to push some of the wild black hair out of his face, which really did absolutely no good.

"How's your arm, is it dead yet?" Harry teased, squishing his head a little further in to Draco's arm. "Get off!" Draco began to push hard on the top of Harry's head, trying to move him off his arm. "Okay, okay, I surrender, get your boulder off my poor arm."

"Your poor arm, what about my arm?!"

"Your arm is muscly, it can take more than my arm, my arm is petite." Draco had began to sound like a petulant child, which gained the most ridiculous snort-like laugh from Harry. "Petite. Right." Lifting his head off Draco's shoulder, he then launched his hands at the other mans chest, jabbing his fingers in to tickle.

"No!" Draco screamed between breathy laughs, he wiggled around, his hands flailing wildly "Stop, no.. Harry stop." he scrunched his face up and tried to hold in the laughter, but failed.

"Stoppppppp!"

"Nope, you have to say Harry Potter is the best person in the world, the most handsome, most successful and most interesting man."

"I am not saying that!" Draco exclaimed, his entire body flailing like a wild chicken.

"Yes you are if you want me to stop." Harry grinned, tickling him a little faster.

"FINE FINE!" he yelled, putting his hands up in sort of a surrender-like motion. "Harry Potter..." he laughed and whacked Harry "Stop, I'm saying it, I'm saying it."

Harry stopped momentarily, a look of utter amusement on his face. "Harry Potter is the best person in the world, the most handsome, most successfully TRICKED!" he yelled, scrambling out of bed quickly - he wasn't fast enough though, Harry had grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down on to the bed, lost his grip and tumbled on top of him.

"You thought you had me didn't you, I know what you pesky Slytherin's are like, I know a trick when I see one." Harry grinned, flashing pearly white teeth.

"Oh you got me Potter." Draco smirked, looking up in to his eyes. "I'm sorry, I cheated, I accept punishment." a cheeky grin plastered all over Harry's face as he declared himself tickling champion. Draco rolled his eyes, but a warm smile played on his lips.

Harry's eyes rested on Draco's lips, pink and full. He wondered what Draco would taste like. He lent down, Draco's eyes widened he put his hand on Harry's chest to stop him but he faltered, their lips met and Draco's world exploded. His senses took over, he could smell the spicy musk scent he associated with Harry, his lips were soft against his own, it took him a moment to respond, for his brain to catch up to his body. He felt Harry withdraw but instead Draco put his hand on Harry's cheek. Their lips moved, at first slowly - but quickly turned in to a quest for dominance, for him to taste every inch that was Harry. He opened his mouth, plunging his tongue in to Harry's who moved a little for better leverage, his hands were either side of Draco's head. His tongue moved along his teeth, over his tongue, he never wanted it to end. He felt at ease, complete - for the first time in forever.

A minute passed and Harry pulled back, panting a little, his eyes widened and a bright blush stained his cheeks. "Err.. I.." Harry stuttered out, he could feel the starts of an erection forming in his boxers, something that couldn't have gone unnoticed by Draco. He pulled back and sat up, chewing his lower lip.

Draco smiled and sat up, putting his hand on Harry's leg.

"Tea?"

Harry grinned. "Yeah, tea." as though that was the answer to all of life's problems.

Chapter Text

Sat across from each other at the small bistro table in Draco's kitchen, Harry was cupping his mug of tea, deep in thought. They'd talked a little whilst the kettle was boiling, but now they were sat together they found themselves in complete silence.

Harry thought back to his friends, it had been about two weeks since he'd last saw Ron and Hermione - he knew they'd be worried by now. The situation was completely explainable to the rational mind though. Ron's reaction to 'Hey sorry I've been gone but I've been snogging Draco Malfoy' would not be positive, his best bet would be to talk to Hermione first.
He nodded at the thought, staring down at his tea. He wasn't even sure what this was, he knew Draco needed his help, but it had progressed in to something more than simple comfort, or even help. Thoughts swirled round his mind at a rapid rate, he sighed.

Draco looked up at Harry, a concerned look on his face. After the initial shock was over, he'd been happy at what had happened. Thinking back to their earlier conversation, when Harry had admitted the Prophet outed him with 'no proof' an uneasy feeling bubbled in the pit of his stomach. Draco didn't want to be some project or experiment, he was aware of his rapid feelings for Harry. He started to overthink, what if Harry now intended to leave? What if he regretted it? What if Draco disgusted him now. Was it pity? He felt the starts of tears welling in his eyes, he didn't want to be a burden, or someone to pity.

"Didn't you say you were going to see your friends?" Draco mumbled, taking a sip of his now cold tea. He turned his lip up in disgust and stood, walking to the sink.

"Mm?" Harry replied clearly distracted by his thoughts.

Draco sighed and poured his tea down the sink, turning the tap on to wash the remnants out of the cup. "I said, didn't you say you were going to see your friends?" it came out a little more forcefully than he intended, he cringed at his own words.

"Oh, yes." Harry stood and tipped his own cup down the sink, leaving it on the side. "I'm going to go today, if that's alright?"

"That's fine." Draco walked out of the kitchen and towards the balcony, slipping out he sat down on the lounger and sighed, something that seemed to be way more common for him than usual.
The thought that maybe Harry would never come back made him feel nauseous, but he remembered the other man probably didn't want to be here in the first place. He wondered why he'd stayed this long. He wondered why he'd comforted him in the rain by the bridge, why he'd listened to him read, they'd talked and laughed, he scrunched his face up.

"I'll be back later." Harry called, Draco waved his hand in response and picked up a book that had been discarded on the floor, opening the front page he settled himself in.

Harry stood in the middle of the living room debating on whether he should stay or go, after a few minutes he watched Draco as he carefully turned the pages on his book, a pang of guilt hit him, coming to the decision he really should visit his friends, Harry apparated.

Draco turned his head as Harry left, a tear running down his cheek. "Bye Harry." he whispered.

 

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Harry landed outside the Burrow, looking up at the house he smiled. He'd always felt comfortable here, nevertheless he was nervous as he approached the front door.
Knocking gently, he waited a little before the door swung open to the surprised, but concerned eyes of Molly Weasley. "Harry dear, where have you been?!" she exclaimed, ushering him inside. "You know you don't need to knock, have you eaten?"

"Uh, no I haven't, I er.. Is Ron or Hermione here?" he asked, standing awkwardly by the front door. "They're out but Hermione should be back soon, come in dear, I'll get you something to eat." he followed Molly in to the kitchen, watching as she began to pad around the kitchen with ingredients galore coming out of every cupboard.

"Harry my boy, how are you?" came the voice of Arthur, who appeared through the door. "Good, thank you." scratching the side of his head, Harry sat down at the kitchen table, listening to one of Arthur's most recent stories - something to do with muggle computers, something Arthur had found most fascinating lately. "And they have these things called key boards, you tap on them and they make words. Isn't that brilliant?"

"Oh, yes Mr. Weasley, computers are definitely uh.." he was cut off by a shriek behind him. "Harry! Where the hell have you been? We've been worried sick!" Hermione seemed to appear out of nowhere, sitting down in the chair next to him. "It's been almost two weeks, you didn't even say you were going anywhere, we were about ready to send out a search party. We contacted the Ministry!"

"Oh, I'm sorry 'Mione." Harry mumbled apologetically, bowing his head. "I've been helping a friend."

"What friend?" she looked at him with those concerned brown eyes, the usual look she gives him when she's a combination of worried and maybe pitying him.

"Do you mind if we go outside to talk about this?" Harry asked, looking up in to Hermione's eyes, pleading.

"Of course."

They walked together out the back of the Burrow, over the grass and settled down on a wooden bench, overlooking the large pond that Arthur had filled full of different fish, they'd taken his fancy and he showed them off for weeks after.

"So what is it Harry?" Hermione asked softly, angling her body towards him. Placing her hands on her lap, she smiled slightly at him encouragingly.

"So, the day of your birthday I went in to Flourish and Blotts to buy your present and I run in to Narcissa Malfoy." he started, eyeing her closely for a reaction. Hermione nodded and gestured for him to continue. "She told me Malfoy wanted to speak to me, so the next day I went to see him - I was curious what he wanted, I guess." he finished lamely.

"Okay." Hermione said simply, her expression had changed slightly, to maybe concern? Harry wished he was better at reading people. Letting out a sigh, he looked down at his hands. "He..."

"He was different."

"Different how?" Hermione frowned.

"He has like PTSD or something, maybe depression? I don't know a lot about mental health problems." he admitted, shaking his head. "He doesn't really leave the house, he's scared to go outside, uh..." he began to fidget with his fingernails, picking at the skin around his nails. "He's suicidal I think, he's struggling. I think his mother asked me to go there because she was worried."

"Why would Mrs. Malfoy think you could help?" Hermione asked curiously, an eyebrow raised. "I mean it's not as though you were friends."

"I don't know, I've been staying with him. We've become friends." Hermione nodded at this, smiling. She placed a hand on top of his. "I think that's nice Harry, that you'd want to help."

"I..." he pushed his free hand through his wild hair, taking a deep breath he laughed nervously "I kissed him."

"You what?" shocked, Hermione pulled back her hand and moved back a little, stunned. "You kissed Malfoy?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Wow... I, well I'd say I didn't expect that but..." Hermione averted her eyes and laughed a little. "What?"

"Well you always had an unhealthy obsession with him didn't you." she giggled, covering her mouth. "I did not!" he exclaimed, looking affronted. "You definitely did Harry."

"Hmph."

"I have absolutely no idea how I could tell Ron about that though." he admitted nervously, a chuckle escaping his lips. "I guess the prophet was right." he squinted his eyes, a blush forming on his cheeks.
"I'll talk to Ron." she smiled, standing up from the bench. "That is, if you could see this kiss becoming something more?" her eyes glistened, holding out a hand for him he took it and stood up, smiling at her. "I think, well.. I hope so."

They walked back up to the Burrow together, sharing small talk along the way. That had gone way better than Harry had expected, a little part of him worried they'd not accept it, tell him what an awful person Draco had been that he was an idiot, or maybe accuse Draco of the imperius.

As they entered the Burrow, Harry was ushered back in to the kitchen where he'd been filled up on bacon, eggs, sausages, toast, mushrooms and a giant glass of pumpkin juice, he sat uncomfortably in his chair his stomach straining against his jeans. He'd listened intently as Arthur talked about all of his work, the new muggle objects he'd acquired and of course the computer. "You'll have to show me how to use this computer doodad sometime Harry." Arthur smiled.

"Of course, I'll definitely do that." Harry grinned, standing up. "Right well, I better be going but I'll be back soon, yeah?" his eyes moved to Hermione who was smiling at him and nodding her head enthusiastically.

 

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After about twenty minutes, Draco realized he didn't really know what to do with his life when Harry wasn't around. He seemed to ground him in a way he never expected possible. He also seemed to make him want to do something semi-productive, or maybe socialize more. He felt lonely, he'd never experienced that before Harry was always there.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts, he stood up and made his way to the door, his hand hovering over the handle. A sudden wave of panic washed over him before he quickly pushed it as far down as he could, he swung the door open his eyes resting upon Adele who was stood with three steaming cups in both hands in a triangle shape he reached out to take one of them, a smile forming on his lips.

"Hiya Draco!" Adele grinned. "I brought tea for you guys." Draco nodded and gestured for her to come in, she bounced through the door and shut it with her foot. "Oh, where's Harry?" she asked, turning back to him an eyebrow raised.

"He went out to see his friends, how're you doing?" he walked towards the sofa and set the coffee cups down on the table. "I'm good! We've been kinda busy in the Cafe! Apparently some of those people you know the magical kind." she winked and put emphasis on 'magical' "They caught wind that Harry Potter came to our Cafe so we've had loads of customers!" she looked exceptionally happy about this, plonking down on the sofa.

"So is Harry like a big deal to the magical people?" Draco sat down beside Adele and let out a dry laugh, nodding his head. "I guess."

"That's super duper awesome, you'll have to tell me all about it."

"Well.. There was a war and he defeated the Dark Lord which was a pretty powerful wizard, so he's like... The Savior of the Wizarding World." he realized he'd vaguely described it, but Adele was still a muggle, he supposed.

"Oh that's really cool, so he's like a big powerful guy then?" she sipped her tea and grinned. "I'm friends with a super famous popular savey kinda dude. That's kinda cool."

"Mm, I suppose."

They chatted about a lot of random things after that, Draco was happy for the change of subject, Adele told him all about Teddy's vet appointment, how he'd gotten a cold and she was worried, she told him about some of the customers that came in to the Cafe, about how she'd been asked on a date and one guy had asked her for her floo address, she asked Draco what a floo was, Draco had laughed at her expression as he attempted to describe what you do with a floo. "Wow, I can't believe a guy thought I was a special witch." she looked thoroughly pleased with herself.

They'd made sandwiches together and turned the TV on, still happily chatting. Draco was happy for the distraction, but the niggling worry that Harry wouldn't come back still played on his mind until he heard the pop behind him.

Adele shrieked and nearly dropped her third cup of tea when Harry appeared in the middle of the living room. "God you scared me half to death!" she giggled, moving over on the sofa to make room for Harry.

"Hey Adele, sorry." he laughed, an apologetic look on his face. "What you guys been up to?" he sat down between the two of them and sent a small smile to Draco, who returned it.

"Chatting, food, TV.. I was just telling Draco all about the Cafe!" she exclaimed, excited to recount the tale of how Harry Potter saved her job.

Chapter Text

A few days later, Harry was sprawled across the sofa in Draco's living room staring at the TV, the day after he'd gone to see Hermione was a little awkward, they'd said barely a word to each other. Harry began to wonder if Draco regretted what had happened between them, but when Harry suggested going back to his own house he was met with panic and upset. It wasn't that Harry wanted to return to Grimmauld - if he was honest he'd be happy if he didn't have to see that wretched place ever again.

He'd had a lot of time to think between their silences, Draco seemed to head straight for the balcony, preferring to read than talk but their nights were exactly the same as a few days ago, Draco would go in to his bedroom and Harry would sit on the end of the bed for hours. Unfortunately it wasn't doing much for his own sleep routine but if it helped Draco he would do it regardless.

His eyes wandered over to the balcony, where Draco was laying on his favorite lounger, he wondered what was going on inside the other mans head. Chewing the inside of his mouth, Harry pulled himself up and swung his legs round the front of the couch to sit. "Draco." he called. Draco's eyes snapped to Harry's, an eyebrow raised. "Do you want to go to the cafe?"

"No, I'm okay." he murmured in response, turning back to the book in his hand. Harry sighed and stood up, stretching out his legs. Walking through to the kitchen, Harry opened up the cupboards finding nothing of any use. He bit his lower lip and walked back in to the living room and towards the front door, he slipped his coat on and turned towards Draco.

"I'm going to go get some food." but he received no response, so he exited the apartment, shoved his hands in his pockets and walked down the road towards Tesco.

 

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As Draco heard the door close he looked over the top of the balcony, watching as Harry began to walk down the road. Thoughtful, he stood up eyes fixed to his form as he disappeared round the corner.
Sitting back down on the lounge chair, Draco settled in and picked his book up but found himself unable to concentrate, that's mostly what he did in the past few days - he'd pick a book up and pretend to read it, getting lost in his mind a little more with each passing hour.

He wasn't ignoring Harry on purpose either. He'd come to the realization that he was completely in love with Potter - he was pretty sure he'd always loved him somehow, though the lines got blurred over the years. It was a bitter pill to swallow, being both in love with a man he could never have and worrying that someday Harry would leave him.

"Everyone leaves eventually." he whispered to himself. It was a sad truth, no matter who he'd cared about over the space of his childhood, early teenage years and even in to young adulthood he'd loved and lost friends and family - his father had once told him when he was around seven years old 'Malfoy's don't love, we don't show weaknesses, we just are.' He'd tried to live by his fathers words, but he failed.

When he heard the door open again he jolted. Unsure of how long he'd been lost in his thoughts he looked over his shoulder to Harry who was closing the front door behind him, arms full of carrier bags bearing a 'Tesco' logo. A frown appeared on his pale face, he walked in to the living room and scratched the back of his hand nervously.

"Hey, I got some food." Harry smiled, holding the bags up in the air. Slipping his shoes off at the door, he lined them up next to Draco's and walked towards the kitchen, a yawn escaping his lips.
"Tired?" asked Draco, following him in to the kitchen. He really was hungry, he just couldn't face going to the Cafe today. Adele was always so perky and he was in no real mood to socialize.

"Mm." Harry murmured in response, dumping the bags down on the marble kitchen tops. He began to unload the various groceries he'd purchased in to the fridge, cupboards, freezer and placed down various different types of squash. Draco walked forwards and read the labels. He'd bought blackcurrant, orange, orange and mango, raspberry, orange barley. Draco frowned at this. "Barley?" he commented, running the tips of his fingers down the bottle.

"Oh, well I didn't know which one you preferred so I just bought a random lot of them." he shrugged. "Ribena is good, I used to sneak a bit of that when I lived with the Dursleys."

"You sneaked blackcurrant squash?"

Nodding, Harry picked up the Ribena bottle and grinned. "It was one of Dudley's favorites, he never let me have any sometimes I'd sneak down in the middle of the night and pour a glass. The first time I did it I was asked why there was a cup in the draining board, so I got a bit better at hiding it over the years."

Draco looked somewhat unsettled by this revelation but didn't press. "Sounds good."

Pulling out Tetley tea bags, Harry tipped them in to the canister that was labelled 'Tea' and threw the empty bag in the bin. "Well there's bugger all in your house and it's a bit shit."
Draco chewed the inside of his mouth and clicked the kettle on.

"Are you alright?" Harry looked at him, a worried expression on his face. He knew Harry would have cottoned on to the fact he was unusually quiet lately, he'd expected to ask him before now, but he just nodded in response. What could he say? 'Hey I love you, please don't leave me?' but he also knew this behavior was likely to also push him away. He was fighting a losing battle.

"Do you fancy watching a movie?" Harry held up a copy of Lord of the Rings, a grin plastered on his face. "This is a good one, you'll like it." he winked. Draco shrugged his shoulders. "Sure."

 

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After Harry had cooked spaghetti bolognese, he topped it with Parmesan cheese and a side of garlic ciabatta. He poured two cups of tea and floated the cups towards the coffee table, preferring to carry the bowls of food in by hand. Draco was already seated on the sofa, his right leg tucked under the left and a pillow on his lap. Passing the bowl to Draco, Harry placed his on the coffee table and set to turning the TV on, loading the DVD player, grabbing the remote and sitting down beside him.

"You really will like it." he hit play on the remote and grabbed his bowl of spaghetti. "Mm, this is nice." Harry grinned at the compliment and began to swirl the spaghetti round his fork. "I'm glad you like it."

As the movie started, the only sounds that could be heard were the television, the sounds of forks clinking on china bowls and the soft tapping of rain hitting the balcony outside. Draco turned his head in Harry's direction, a pang of anxiety hit him like a freight train. He'd miss this. He never wanted it to end.

As they finished their food, they stacked the empty bowls on top of each other discarded on the coffee table, Harry had moved in to a more comfortable position and now rested his head on the pillow in Draco's lap. Initially, he'd frozen at the contact but when he looked down to meet Harry's eyes, and he'd flashed him the most dazzling smile he couldn't help but smile back.

As it had turned out, the movie really was something Draco liked. He enjoyed the Hobbit houses, he'd enjoyed the journey. His face had changed throughout the movie from laughter to an intense stare, he'd jolted at loud moments the action had thoroughly pleased Harry, who was more intent on watching Draco's reactions than the actual movie itself.

Somewhere a quarter of the way through Draco had absentmindedly started running his hands through Harry's 'untamable hair' as he called it. Something Harry had enjoyed maybe a little too much. About five minutes in he'd grabbed a pillow and put it over his crotch area, trying to hide the growing bulge in his trousers.

"That was really good." Draco commented, a hint of surprise in his voice. He looked down at his lap and smiled softly. Harry was asleep.

 

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An hour had passed since the movie ended, Draco never moved an inch. He'd known Harry sat at the bottom of his bed so he could sleep, he worried he wasn't getting enough sleep so he was reluctant to wake the sleeping man up. Harry began to stir, he rubbed his eyes a little and looked sleepily up at Draco, shooting him a warm smile - as though he was the only person in the world he'd want to see when he woke up.

"Good sleep?" Draco smirked, his words teasing. "Mm." Harry hummed, reaching his hand up he ran his fingertips down the other mans face. "Bed?" Harry suggested. Draco sighed and nodded. They both got up from the couch, Harry first and walked towards the bedroom.

Draco hovered by the door a little as he watched Harry strip down to his boxers and climb in to the unmade bed. He rubbed his face against the pillow and looked over to Draco, an eyebrow raised.
"C'mon then."

Chewing his lip, Draco closed the bedroom door behind him and copied, stripping to only his boxers and climbing in to bed. "I always expected you to wear silk pyjamas or something." laughed Harry, sleepily. "You pictured what I wore to bed?" teased Draco, who nudged the other man with his elbow. "I think about you most of the time." Harry yawned, wrapping his arm around Draco's waist. He closed his eyes and drifted, leaving Draco confused and with somewhat of an uncomfortable hardon. "Fuck sake Potter." he whispered, closing his eyes.

Try as he might, Draco really couldn't get to sleep. Harry was like the largest adult sized hot water bottle he'd ever encountered, he felt sweat pour down his face. "Harry.." he whispered, nudging the man, when he received no response, he shoved him a little harder. Reaching over to turn the lamp on, he looked back at Harry and frowned. He'd looked a lot paler than he was previously, sweat was pouring down his face too - he expected him to be flush at the heat he was giving out. He shoved him a little harder again, gaining a moan out of Harry. "What?" Harry groaned, opening his eyes a little. "Ugh." he whined, covering his eyes with his arm. "Turn that light off, it's obnoxious."

"So are you." Draco teased, but concern was clearly visible on his pointy features. "Are you alright?" he whispered, nudging Harry once again. "I feel horrible." Draco frowned and sat up, putting a hand to his head. "You're absolutely melting." Harry put his hand over Draco's and scrunched his eyes shut. "Flu, I think." Harry croaked, opening his eyes to look up at the very concerned gray ones above him. "Your eyes are beautiful." Harry commented, he wasn't meant to say that out loud. "You're hallucinating." chuckled Draco.

"No, they are... They're like beautiful raindrops."

"Beautiful raindrops?"

"Like granite, shiny granite, or those gray paving stones rich people have."

"Okay you really are sick, if you're trying to compliment my eyes by comparing them to paving stones you've lost your marbles." Draco smirked. Harry shrugged. "Marbles, yeah - those gray ones, that's what your eyes are, beautiful marbles."

"Fucking hell, I'll go get you some paracetamol.. Try not to die while I'm gone." he mumbled, hoisting himself up from the bed and making his way out the room towards the bathroom. Rummaging round the medicine cabinet, Draco grabbed the pills, turned around and dropped them. "Potter you're naked, Merlin." He took in his form and inwardly groaned. 'Course his cock would be that nice.' he thought to himself, cringing at his own thought process. "It's too hot, hot hot hot hot." he mumbled, walking towards Draco. Harry wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in to a weak hug. "Why do you have paracetamol, aren't you like a Potions whiz?" he whispered in to his ear.

Draco, very aware that a naked Harry Potter was up against him angled his crotch to the side and cursed his absolute worst luck. "When you're a hermit you run out of them pretty fast." Harry laughed at this and nodded. "How did you get the paracetamol if you never go out?"

"Uh, online delivery?"

"You use the computer?!" Exclaimed Harry. "You didn't know how to use the TV and you can use a computer? Duped! Scandal!" he exclaimed. "Come on Potter, back to bed." He untangled himself from Potter's embrace and walked him back to the bedroom, helping him lay down he slipped Harry's pants back on and looked up at the ceiling. 'Fuck my life, what the hell' he thought. Taking in a breath, he quickly ran to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and jogged back in to the bedroom, passing Harry the bottle and two paracetamol. "I think they take temperature down, I'm sure I read that on the computer."

"Scandal.. Computer, Draco Malfoy, no potions, no fancy pyjamas, just paracetamol and pretty marble eyes." Draco ran his hand down his face, as if at a loss of what to do. Harry took the bottle and tossed the pills in to his mouth, washing them back with the water and lay back on the bed, chucking the bottle on to the floor. "That wasn't closed you imbecile!" He scrambled to pick the bottle up and cursed at the wet floor.

"Fancy words, fancy paving stone eyes, no fancy pyjamas." Harry mumbled incoherently as he drifted off to sleep. Draco placed the bottle on the bedside table, screwed the top on and sat on the bed beside him. "You're going to be the bloody death of me." he whispered, running his hand through Harry's hair.

Chapter Text

It had been three days since Harry first became ill. The man was currently sitting up against the headboard, sweat pouring down his face, eyes closed. Draco sat watching him, he'd not had a lot of sleep preferring to keep an eye on him and was now sporting the most intense headache he'd ever felt, more than likely due to the copious amounts of coffee he'd consumed.

Yesterday, Draco had ventured out of the apartment on a mission. He'd tried to put his panic aside so he could go to the Apothecary. Once he'd gotten there he bought enough ingredients for about fifty pain relieving potions and pepperup. When he'd walked back up the cobbled robe he spotted Hermione Granger in healer robes, which he noted would come in handy if Harry didn't improve. She looked very different now, gone were the messy curls of her youth. He'd returned to the apartment pretty quickly and set to brewing in his kitchen.

After he'd brewed the potions, he gave Harry a pepperup which didn't seem to make much difference, if anything it made his fever worse. Draco had moaned that he was no Healer when Harry asked him what the hell he was playing at. After, he'd given Harry a pain relieving potion and told him to go to sleep.

Standing up, Draco stretched his legs out and walked towards the kitchen, waving his wand he set the dishes to be cleaned and walked towards the worlds most unconventional pop-up potion making station which he'd code named 'Shit Storm' picking up the various bits and pieces scattered round his small table, he placed them on to a shelf near the kitchen window. Uncorked a pain relieving potion and downed it, grimacing. Not his best work, for sure.

"Draco?" called Harry, who was now walking slowly in to the kitchen. His eyes rested on the Cauldron currently occupying most of the table and raised an eyebrow. "Have you been making potions?" he asked curiously, padding over to the other man. He peered inside the Cauldron and frowned.

"Well, yes..." Draco said slowly, chewing the inside of his mouth. "You were sick." Harry nodded at this and looked up at him. "And you went out?"

"Well when one needs potions ingredients they usually do venture outside, yes." Draco drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Harry let out a laugh. "By yourself?"

"Oh because you seemed in fit state to accompany me didn't you?" He walked over to the kettle and clicked it on, turning around and leaning against the counter. Harry eyed Draco suspiciously and shrugged his shoulders. "That's good."

"What is?" folding his arms, Draco started flicking the ends of his nails. Harry smiled. He wasn't sure what had changed, but Draco seemed different. "You went out on your own."

"I'm not a damsel in distress Potter, I do know how to go out." turning back around, he began to make two cups of tea. "Mm." Harry mumbled, walking over to stand beside him. "Thank you." Draco turned his eyes towards him, the edge of his mouth turning up. "It's alright." he whispered.

"Are you feeling better?" passing the cup to Harry, he took it eagerly and nodded lightly. "Well, I still feel like shit but I'm alright."

"Okay." Draco looked down at his cup and then back up to Harry. "You never told me Granger was a healer."

Harry frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't think it was important, she's just finished training."

"Doesn't that usually take longer?" lifting the cup to his mouth, Draco sipped his tea and licked his bottom lip. "Yeah but you've met Hermione right?" A laugh escaped Draco's lips, he nodded. "I suppose."

They walked back to the living room together and sat down on the sofa, Harry grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, flicking through various channels. "I looked up your symptoms on the laptop madoodle thing." Draco stated casually, leaning against the arm rest.

Harry narrowed his eyes, remembering the incident three days earlier. "I can't believe you use a muggle computer. Draco Malfoy, user of the computer. It's just weird."

Draco smirked. "Mm, I seem to remember you saying this - oh what was it? Hmm... Duped, scandal?" his eyes flashed with amusement, his voice teasing.

"Shut up, it's weird."

"I'll be sure to put my silk pyjamas on tonight and sit in bed on my laptop." Draco nudged him playfully and smiled. Harry rolled his eyes and groaned. "I can't be held accountable for stupid shit I say when I'm sick."
"Oh you definitely can." Draco warned.

 

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A knock at the door startled Harry and he spilled tea down his front. Draco laughed and stood up, walking towards the door. "Look at you, the doorbell rings and you answer it, you go buy potions ingredients on your own.. What the hell happened?"
Draco turned just as he was about to open the front door and looked at Harry, deadpan. "You happened." he said confidently, before opening the door. His mouth opened and he frowned. Standing on his doorstep was the bright blonde hair of Luna Lovegood, a dreamy smile on her face. "Hello Draco." she said softly, looking over his shoulder. "Loon-Lovegood, what are you-" He was cut off as she flitted in the door past him, bouncing over to Harry. Draco closed the door and sighed. "Come on in." he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Luna, what are you doing here?" asked Harry, who was now beaming. Draco wondered for a moment what he'd have to do to get a smile like that from him. He shook his head, sighing. "Hermione told me you were with Draco!" she grinned, placing a hand on his leg. "You look awful Harry, have you been having nightmares again?"

"No, er.. I'm er.." he looked up at Draco who shrugged his shoulders. "I got ill, flu I think." he mumbled, embarrassed. "Oh dear, I might have something for that." she smiled dreamily, rummaging through her bag. Once she'd found it she pulled it out and grinned. "Here it is! It's balm, you rub it on your chest. Neville gave me it." Harry grimaced and nodded, taking the balm off Luna. "Thanks"

"Lovegood, how do you know where I live?" Draco asked, perching himself on the arm of his sofa. "Oh! Your mother buys things from Neville, he told me."

"My mother... Of course." he closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple. "Hermione's coming in a minute!" she exclaimed, a grin on her face. "Ron too, I think."

"Oh great, just what I always wanted." Draco mumbled, standing up straight. "I'm going to go drown myself, see you later." Harry laughed and stood up. "Actually before you do that can you help me get dressed?"

Draco turned his head towards him and slumped his shoulders. "I suppose so, I guess I could do something useful before impending doom."

"Oh you two make such a sweet couple." Luna smiled, her eyes moving from Harry to Draco and back. Harry blushed and dipped his head. "Come on then Potter, lets get your pants on." Harry groaned and walked in to the bedroom.

"Do you always have to make it awkward?" he moaned, putting the dressing gown he had on down on the bottom of the bed. "When you're wearing my clothes and my dressing gown, sleeping in my bed and telling me I have beautiful paving stone eyes of course." Draco teased, picking up Harry's luggage bag. He'd moved it from the living room to the bedroom a couple days ago and placed it down on the bed.

"Paving stone eyes?" Harry frowned, he then remembered and groaned, closing his eyes. "Oh Merlin." Draco smirked and opened the bag, pulling out a pair of black jeans and a t-shirt that read 'It's fall y'all' "What the fuck is this?" he asked holding the offending t-shirt up in the air. Harry opened his eyes and grinned. "Neville bought me that, look it has a leaf on it, cause it's fall, and it's like word play."

Draco rolled his eyes and threw it at Harry. "It'll do. Do you have boxers in here?" he asked, still rummaging through the bag, he pulled out a book and frowned. "This is a really nice cover." he noted, running his hands down the embellished sides. "It's a photo album." Harry pulled the t-shirt he was wearing off, muttered a quick cleaning charm over himself and replaced it with the leaf t-shirt.

"Merlin that thing is an atrocity, you need to get rid of it." Draco looked thoroughly amused. Harry pulled his trousers down and looked up at him. "It's fine."

Draco turned his head and screamed inside his head "Potter I know I've seen it all before but do you have to get your cock out when I'm standing right here."

"Oh sorry, do you want me to turn around?" he smirked, watching the blush rise up Draco's neck, his ears tipped pink. "Oh for fucks sake Potter just put your fucking pants on!" he shouted, groaning as he heard a few giggles from the living room, he frowned and turned his head towards Harry, who's eyes had widened.

"She's not in there alone." Draco whispered. Harry nodded. "Nope."

 

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Once fully dressed, Harry walked out the living room a blush still staining his cheeks. He half waved at Luna who was now sat beside Hermione, Ron, Adele and Teddy was now running around the living room woofing.

"You guys finally seen the light then!" Adele giggled, standing up. She bounced over to Harry and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so happy for you!" Draco was stood by the door frame, a look on his face that read 'please kill me, just do it'

"Uh.." Harry stuttered, returning the hug. "What're you all doing here?"

Ron, who looked as uncomfortable as one could be was sat fidgeting with his fingers at the left end of the sofa, Hermione in the middle had a gleam in her eye and Luna who was now grinning from ear to ear, throwing a rubber dog bone around the apartment. A space was free beside Luna where Adele had gotten up, Harry found he mourned the loss of peace and quiet.

"We're here for an inter-ven-tion" Luna said between giggles, she stood up and began chasing Teddy around the living room. "A what? Are you serious?"

Draco snorted, and walked in standing beside Harry. He turned his head on the side and nudged him with his elbow. "I'm the fucked up one and you're the one having an intervention? I'm hurt." he whispered.

Scowling at him, Harry nudged him back and shook his head. "Shut up, you're not fucked up." he whispered back, the exchange was being closely watched by Hermione, who had a thoughtful smile on her face. "I never would've thought it." she laughed, shaking her head. "I did, they were both bloody obsessed with each other." Ron added gruffly. "Oh yes, I suppose." Hermione agreed.

"Why does everyone seem to think I was obsessed with Malfoy, he was definitely up to something." Draco laughed at this and turned to him. "Says you, you're the only person in Hogwarts you could guarantee was up to something." Ron glowered at Draco, he bowed his head as he caught the look and sighed. "Says you Malfoy, you're the worst of the lot of them." he spat, standing up. Ron stormed out of the apartment, causing Hermione to sigh deeply.

"Sorry, he'll get used to it."

Draco shrugged his shoulders and walked in to the kitchen, sitting down at the bistro table, this was exactly the kind of thing he wanted to avoid. People didn't like him, he knew this. His own friends had given up quickly of course he knew most of them were only friends with him because of his fathers influence but he'd at least hoped Blaise would care. He grimaced at the thought of Blaise and Ginny Weasley. He'd always hated the ginger Weaselette, he wasn't entirely sure why. Something about her made him both deeply uncomfortable and horrifically irritated at the same time, it reminded him of a panic attack when you didn't know what you were panicking about.

Harry sat down beside Hermione, he opened his mouth to speak then closed it. "Have you told him yet?" she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. Luna screamed in delight as she tumbled to the floor, Teddy began to lick her face wildly. "Teddy!" Adele shouted, reaching down for Luna. "Here, he's a little menace." she giggled. Luna took her hand and lifted herself up. "Thanks! He's brilliant, he has no Nargles too." Adele frowned and looked towards Teddy "What's a Nargle?" Luna's eyes widened and she ushered Adele to the balcony. "Oh I have so much to tell you!" she exclaimed.

Harry watched the exchange and smiled. "Adele reminds me of Luna a bit." Hermione frowned and shook her head. "You didn't answer my question."

"No I haven't Hermione." he mumbled, bowing his head. "You should really tell him." she nudged, smiling encouragingly. "I'm sure he likes you too."

Harry sighed. "I don't even know what this is." he gestured his hands and bit his lower lip. "Then talk to him."

"Talk to me about what?" Draco asked as he wandered back in to the living room, a confused look on his face. He had three cups of tea in a triangle shape in his hands, he passed one to Harry, one to Hermione and walked towards the balcony. Passing one of the cups to Adele, he jogged back to the kitchen and returned with two more, he gave one to Luna and then ventured back in to the living room.

"Thanks Draco!" Adele shouted, waving her hand to him. He smiled and sat down beside Hermione, sipping his tea. Hermione looked down at her tea and then back up to Harry. "It's not poisoned." Draco mumbled.

Turning to Draco, Hermione thought for a moment before a smile appeared on her face. "Draco how do you feel about Harry, do you like him?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with something unrecognisable.
The question took Draco by surprise, he choked and spat his tea all over his trousers spatters marring the coffee table. "What?!" he asked in a half-shout, half-croak.

"Do you like Harry?" she repeated.

"Er.." he blushed and looked from Harry who was just as startled as he was, to Hermione who was now smirking. "He's good.. He's fine, yes.. He's nice." he stuttered, putting his cup down on the coffee table.

"No, I mean do you like him in a romantic way." she pushed, Draco who now looked like he was going to have a complete meltdown sprung up from his seat and looked to the balcony, his only place of solace sullied by two girls who appeared way too close for people who'd just met. "Biscuits, anyone?" he suggested, trying to dodge the conversation entirely.

Sighing, Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "Boys." she mumbled, standing up. "Harry likes you in a romantic sense, you.. I don't know, figure it out." she groaned, before exiting the apartment.

Draco looked at Harry as though he was a deer in headlights. "Tea?" he suggested. Harry looked down at his cup and held it up. "Uh, you just made tea."

Cursing himself, he bit down on his lower lip. "Biscuit, cake?"

"I'd rather drown myself with you if that's alright." Harry mumbled, his face scarlet.

 

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After the most uncomfortable twenty minutes of Draco's life, Luna and Adele bounded in the living room looking delighted. Teddy close behind. Luna began to explain how she'd told Adele the entire history of Nargles, Wrackspurts, let her read the Quibbler and even told her all about Hogwarts. Adele nodded enthusiastically, looking as pleased as ever. "Oh and you'll never guess what!" Adele grinned, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"We're going on a date!" Luna exclaimed, smiling shyly at Adele who had a slight blush on her face. Harry smiled awkwardly and "That's great." he looked up at Adele and nodded encouragingly. "See you later!" Adele shouted as they exited the apartment hand in hand.

"Wow, that was quick." scratching the side of his head, Draco turned to Harry who just looked amused. "They can work it out in like an hour, yet it takes us three weeks and Hermione."

Draco snorted. "I don't know, I had a pretty sneaky feeling when you said my eyes were as beautiful as paving stones, marbles and raindrops."

"Oh fucking hell, stop going on about that." Harry moaned, hiding his face with his arm. "I'm never going to live that down am I?"

"No, never." Draco grinned. "I'm beginning to think your friends don't know what an intervention is though." he added thoughtfully. Harry's eyes locked with his, he gestured his hand for him to continue. "They didn't exactly intervene on anything did they?" he picked his tea up and downed the rest of it, putting the cup back on the coffee table.

Harry looked at Draco as if he'd grown five heads. He just shrugged. Obviously he didn't realise what the intervention was for. "I thought Luna was with Neville." frowning, he turned to Draco. "Well don't bloody ask me I'm a hermit remember?" Harry rolled his eyes "No, you went to buy potions stuff on your own, you're officially not a hermit now."

Draco rolled his eyes and stood up. "Do you want dinner? Or are you still not feeling well enough?" Harry thought for a moment and stood up too. "I could eat." Draco winked at him "Oh yeah?" his voice flirtatious Harry raised his eyebrows, blushing lightly. "I meant food, I'll eat you later." he mumbled as he walked in to the kitchen, Draco stood still and grinned.

Chapter Text

Harry had made lasagna for dinner, which to his credit actually tasted rather good. Of course Draco would never admit to him that food he'd cooked was better than anything he had previously. He bit his lip and sat at the table staring at his plate. When he'd sat in his bedroom contemplating his life, writing letters he'd never thought anyone would have the capacity to forgive him. Assuming that the rest of his life would be miserable, trying his best to avoid those around him and keeping a low profile, Draco had resigned himself to the fact his life was as much over as it could be. He'd even came to the conclusion that he'd be the one to end it.

He turned his head to the window, watching the rain pour down - it drizzled down the window leaving streak marks as it fell. Although he hadn't been given direct forgiveness, he at least knew he was making progress. Turning his head to Harry, who was watching him with curiosity, he smiled. When he was eleven, he wanted nothing more than to be this mans friend. He'd grown up hearing stories and reading newspapers rejoicing him, he wanted in all his capacity to sit the man in front of him on a pedestal and praise him forever, of course when that didn't really work out he'd decided to hate him instead. The thought made him frown, what a stupid thing to do. 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again.' he couldn't remember where he'd read this but when he had, he knew he'd made a mistake in his life.

Well, in actual fact he knew he'd made many mistakes in his life. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, leaning his elbow on the table. A scowl appeared on his face - the thought of what his father would say if he caught him with his elbows on the table invaded his mind like a nightmare. He wasn't sure why his father still influenced his thoughts, it was something he was definitely working on.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked, picking his and Draco's plate up. He wandered over to the sink and placed them in, turning back to face Draco, who was still lost in thought.

He knew that if Harry could forgive him, if he could be his friend now after everything that had happened, he had a chance. The thought intrigued him, why was it that Harry had been so eager to help him? He realized he'd never asked Harry why he stayed, he never asked him what he'd been doing before he knocked on his door that day. His friends were giving him an intervention, he'd assumed it was something to do with whatever feelings the two of them had for each other. What if it had been more? Harry knew how to calm him down in panicked situations, he was nothing but compassionate, kind.
"Draco?" Harry pressed, when he looked up, he frowned. He'd not noticed the other man get up from his seat, but now he was at his side. Draco smiled up at him, he always wanted him by his side. "Yes?" he replied.

"I asked if you were alright.." Harry mumbled, plonking back down on the chair opposite. "Mm, yes." came a soft reply.

A knock at the door shook Draco from his thoughts, it seemed easier and easier to get lost in them tonight. "What time is it?" he frowned. Harry shrugged "About nine I think"

When Draco made no effort to move, Harry stood up and walked to the door, turning the handle he frowned. Standing at the door was Ron, looking a little awkward and out of place. Harry smiled and opened the door wide to let his friend in. "Alright?"
"Yeah, err.. Look sorry for taking off earlier.." Ron mumbled, scratching the side of his face. His posture was slumped, he looked awkward and a little embarrassed. Harry shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly, shutting the door behind him as Ron passed him. "It's fine, what you doing here?" asked Harry casually as he walked to the sofa. "Uh, well Hermione gave me a right telling off when we got back to the Burrow." he admitted, sitting down beside Harry. "Look mate, I'm not telling you how to live your life but does it have to be with.. Him?"

Harry frowned, looking down at his lap. "What do you mean?"

"Well we haven't exactly been bosom buddies with Malfoy have we? An' it's not like you liked blokes before right?" he pushed, as Harry looked up at him he found himself staring, he thought about Cho and Ginny, then he thought about Cedric. A blush formed on his cheeks, he cleared his throat. Before he got a chance to talk, his head snapped up. "No, we haven't been 'bosom buddies' as you so called it." Draco drawled, rolling his eyes. He was leaning on the doorframe to the kitchen, an irritated look on his face.

"I don't appreciate you coming in to my home to insult me, Weasley." he added, strolling forwards to sit down on the end of the sofa, beside Harry. "I apologise for my wrong doings, I can't change things that happened, all I can do is hope to make the future better."

This caught Ron a little off guard, he coughed and spluttered, standing up quickly. "Look Malfoy, I don't like you and quite frankly if you hurt Harry I'll smash your face in." he put bluntly, walking towards the door. "Be careful mate, yeah?"

Draco rolled his eyes and Harry just nodded, waving at him as he exited the apartment. "You've more chance of me hurting myself than you." Draco mumbled, slouching back in to the couch. He looked exhausted and annoyed, something Harry could relate to.

"If anyone else comes to my fucking door tonight I swear I'll hex them all." he glowered, putting his hands over his eyes. Harry chuckled and slouched back in to the couch too, resting his head on Draco's shoulder. "He's got a point you know."

Draco snorted, shaking his head. "Of course he's got a point Potter, we've never been friends. But it doesn't mean I'm going to admit Weasley is right."

Harry laughed at this, wrapping an arm around Draco's middle. "Maybe one day you'll change your mind." he teased, looking up in to the blondes eyes, Draco's features changed from annoyed to confused to downright offended, causing Harry's laughter to increase. "Stop laughing you idiot." he swatted his arm.

"Make me." Harry put simply.

Draco was never one to back down at a challenge, his eyes flashed and a mischievous grin spread on his lips. "Oh you really want me to?" he challenged. Harry smirked at him, still laughing a little, though he could see Draco's expression had changed from not challenging but to lust? maybe? Harry felt his pulse quicken

"Yes."

Draco accepted that challenge willingly, he grabbed a hold of Harry's wrist and pushed him down on the sofa, lifting his leg over Harry's body, he sat straddling his lap. Commandeering the other wrist, he lifted them above Harry's head and pinned him down, a grin on his face. "Too easy." he looked way too happy about 'winning' Harry just smirked, he moved quickly freeing one of his wrists, catching Draco off guard, he tugged at the neckline of Draco's shirt and pulled him forwards, their lips meeting. Draco's eyes widened, but as he looked in to the other mans eyes he saw something there he'd not seen before, he saw love.

Closing his eyes, he melted in to the kiss - letting go of Harry's wrist he wrapped his arms around his neck. Harry moved his hands to sit at the top of Draco's hips, opening his mouth he quickly plunged his tongue in to his mouth, eliciting a moan from Draco. Quickly taking the challenge, their tongues danced together. After a minute or so, Draco pulled back for air, panting for breath.

"Bedroom." he simply stated, lifting himself off Harry. He walked quickly to the bedroom, not waiting for a reply. Harry sat on the sofa dumbfounded. How could it be that kissing another person was as good as that? As he stood up he groaned, his erection was straining against his tight jeans. Walking slowly to the bedroom, he looked back at the living room and smiled.

 

-----------------------------

 

Draco was at on his bed when Harry entered the room, his eyes glued to the door. He'd never been this nervous in his entire life - he was sure of it. His heart was thundering in his chest, his palms clammy. He ran a nervous hand through his hair and bit his lower lip. Harry closed the bedroom door behind him and stood as still as a statue, staring at the other man. The thought of him in bed, calling Draco's eyes beautiful marbles plagued his mind. He blushed and groaned, walking forwards to sit beside him.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked, suddenly feeling very self conscious. Harry waved his hand "I was thinking about the marbles." he mumbled, his blush spreading. "Marbles?" Draco frowned, then realization hit him and he began to laugh. "Merlin Potter, never have I ever in my life had a compliment quite as ridiculous as that." he wiped his eyes, shaking his head. "I was ill, and your eyes are bloody gray, how do you say nice things about someone's eyes when they're gray?!"

"Fucking hell, you could say I don't know your eyes are nice, they're like moonstones, not fucking paving stones!" his laugh was deep, he held his stomach his grin so wide it was about ready to split his face.

"Moonstones? Oh." he looked up at Draco and grinned back at him. "You look good when you smile." he admitted, immediately frowning at his own words. Draco stopped laughing and looked at him, raising an eyebrow - smile still on his face. He nudged him with his elbow. "See, you got it now. Well done."

"Ugh, piss off." Harry moaned, throwing himself backwards on to the bed. Draco lay back with him and stared up at the ceiling. "You could just say thank you Harry for being such a wonderful, kindhearted person." mumbling under his breath, Draco caught it and chuckled. "Thanks you Harry." he whispered, kissing his cheek.

Harry closed his eyes, reveling in the closeness and turned his head, blinking his eyes open. Their gazes locked and Harry wondered why he'd ever fought it before, the man in front of him was everything he'd ever wanted, he expected he would've known that years ago if he'd had the balls or the inclination to try. There again Ron was right, he was an arsehole then.

 

Sitting up, Harry closed his eyes and exhaled. Following his movements, Draco sat up too. Turning his head, Harry moved forwards and captured Draco's lips in a rushed, heated kiss. Responding almost immediately, Draco wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled forwards, almost in the other mans lap.

After a few moments, Harry's fingertips brushed the hemline of Draco's shirt, he wrapped his fingers around it and yanked the t-shirt upwards, lifting his arms up, Harry pulled it over his head and threw it down to the floor, revealing Draco's bare chest. His eyes moved immediately to the scar on his chest, a grimace on his face. "I'm sorry." he whispered, feeling guilty. Draco bit his lip and kissed Harry's forehead. "It's fine."

"It's not, look at it." he trailed his fingers down the expanse of the scar. Draco laughed dryly. "We've both done shitty things." he mumbled. "I didn't know what the spell did." Harry admitted, leaning down he left a trail of kisses down the scar, Draco closed his eyes at the contact. "It's fine." he whispered breathily.

He has waited long enough though. Harry straddled over the man underneath him and they both sunk into a kiss once more. Draco's eyes widened in surprise at first before softening and eventually closing, his arms embracing Harry's neck.

A quick moment has passed before the Gryffindor pulled up, losing himself in the marbles that Draco's eyes were.

“I think it's time.” He whispered

“I think so too, Potter.” Draco replied softly.

Kissing down to the rim of Draco's jeans, he ran a hand over the forming bulge before taking those off along with the underwear.

Draco could feel the warm breath on his now exposed manhood and within seconds a moan escaped his lips. A hand was slowly stroking him and it was relatively easy to tell – Harry was quite inexperienced. Despite this however, he did seem to enjoy taking the lead and Draco wasn't going to ruin it for him.

Harry continued for a couple more quick moments before running his tongue over the head and down the shaft of Draco's cock. With his only previous experience being Ginny, Harry did not have much in terms of handling another man. It felt good and so he let himself over the now hard shaft.

Licking the few drips of cum that have made their way to the surface, this was everything that Harry fantasied for so long to be. He lost himself in the job, becoming more aggressive. As he sucked on Draco, he felt himself fully aroused too. His spare hand now in his own pants, he began pleasing himself at the same time. His hand catching his own pre-cum, with his fingers. It wasn't until Harry's own moans that Draco ran a hand through his hair, pulling his lips away from the cock he so much wanted. As he was pulled up and towards his lovers face, he used that hand to make his bottom half naked.

“Enjoying ourselves are we Potter? “ Draco smiled. Harry could but nod thinking about wanting more. “Then stay.” He added as he slipped off the bed with Harry still on it on his hands and knees. With that butt in the air, Draco admired the sights before him. Running a lone finger in between the cheeks, he teased Harry's hole lightly. With his free hand he opened up the mahogany bedside table drawer and took out an already opened bottle, pouring a little bit on Harry. He used that same finger to work it inside which was accompanied by another soft moan.

Draco took his time with one finger, then adding another. After a few minutes he ran his hand across and put his cock against, the now lubed, hole. Harry looked back as Draco entered him, giving a moan of pure pleasure. Going slow yet deep, both men were now vocal with pleasure. With each passing minute, Draco was becoming more and more violent. His thrusting became faster and his moans became louder. With one hand on Harry's ass and another reaching around, he started to stroke his partner. He was hard and dripping, almost ready to cum for him

Harry's groaned with pleasure frequently as Draco was inside him. His previous fantasies at this point didn't even measure up to the pleasure that was this particular experience. Even making love to Ginny, even though good, was not as exhilarating as this.

In a swift moment all breath escaped from Harry's lungs as his lower body convulsed with the orgasm that overcame him. He felt Draco's hand slow down as he came all over it and the bed underneath him. His arms felt weak and he collapsed onto his elbows and onto his side panting.

As he slid out, Draco admired his work. His lover looked satisfied and glancing over at his hand, he grinned. Before he could please himself and finish himself, Harry spun around and beat him to it. Without a word his lips were around Draco's manhood again. He wanted to not only repay the favor but taste him as well. His mouth and hands worked to the encouragement of the other mans moan. Within a couple of minutes, Harry got more than what he asked for. He felt warm, thick liquid fill his mouth and begin to drip down his chin. Not quite expecting that, he coughed, covering his lower face completely.

Suddenly feeling rather embarrassed, Harry looked up at Draco and coughed again, wiping his face with his arm. "Well, that was erm.." he mumbled, suddenly looking down. "Amazing." Draco finished, looking down at Harry with a warm smile on his face.

"Yeah.." Harry whispered breathily, he stood up jelly legged and looked over his shoulder, biting his lip. "Shower?"

"You know we have wands, right?" Draco frowned, an amused look flitted over his features. "Yeah but you can't beat a shower." Draco shrugged. "That's true, I concede."

"You, Draco Malfoy concede?" he raised an eyebrow skeptically, a smirk now plastered across his face. "Oh shut up and come on Potter." he replied, rolling his eyes and strolling towards the bathroom.
Harry looked at the rumpled sheets and beamed.