James T Kirk is known for two things: being a hooligan of the highest caliber, and being the son of Winona Kirk and George Samuel Kirk, Sr. However, something he's far less known for is his ability to be quiet.
Which is currently being tested by the pile of people he is currently underneath.
They all appeared human to Jim -actually scratch that he can see a pointed ear near his left foot. So five unconscious humans and one Vulcan were currently crushing him, in a sadly not drunken pile.
A drunken pile would have been easy enough for Jim to accept, after all, he'd been sneaking off with Haliban and Mavie to the bar since he turned sixteen last month, but his head was clear and the only trace of alcohol he could smell was of the rubbing variant So why the hell was he engaged in some form of a doggy pile with total strangers?
A groan interrupted Jim's customary 'strange situation analysis'
He'd coined the phrase when he found himself in an abandoned house near I-74.
Turned out an old woman had kidnapped him because he looked like her grandson.
He and Margaret now have coffee every other Wednesday!
"What in sam hell is going on here!"
Hopefully, this situation was similar to the other one.
Turning his head slightly to the source of the shout, Jim discovers something quite funny. An angry ass southern guy.
Albeit, a very attractive angry southern guy who is currently digging his elbow into Jim's stomach.
"So, you're absolutely sure there was no booze involved in the forming of this shit show Jim?"
The now free, and identified, Leonard McCoy grumbled from his place next to Jim against the wall.
They'd dragged each other out the dogpile as soon as Leonard had gotten his bearings. Jim, well James actually but Leonard would be damned if he called him that, nodded rapidly.
"I don't smell the good kind of alcohol on any of us, also I'm pretty sure the small child next to the Vulcan guy is physically prohibited by God to drink"
Leonard choked back a laugh.
He did not, want the others in the room to wake up before he and Jim had surveyed the room they were in. Plus Leonard had heard, from his naan bless the woman, that if you had two trios together you'd also have two assholes.
At the very least.
And Leonard could certainly wait to meet the other one in the room.
"I'm not saying your wrong Jim, however, I don't think the boy is a small child"
"Leo he is wearing a goddamn vintage Spider-Man onesie"
"I admit, he's a child in mind. However, it's an adult vintage Spider-Man onesie, small is not appropriate Jim!"
Clearly, they had grown close in the last ten minute. He'd fought out of the dog pile with the man, surviving pointy elbows and cuddly teenagers was a bonding experience damn it!
" We'll ask him when he wakes up, for now, we need a plan it looks like we're aboard some type of vessel, possibly a rogue Starfleet-"
Leonard interrupted Jim, turning to look the man in the eyes.
"How do you know we're on a Starfleet ship? You an Interstellar baby?"
Jim blinked, his face flushed slightly at Leo's comment. It was too close to an old twenty-first-century song, his mother used to play when she did some chores around the house.
" My mom was the stationed aboard Starfleet's USS Kelvin, she's shown me holo's of some of the ships she's been stationed aboard"
Jim looked at Leo, he wasn't wearing civilian clothes, wonder what'd he wear if he was? Probably flannel.
"And you are currently wearing a Starfleet regulation uniform! Hey, it's blue so you're probably wearing a medic one."
The withering stare Jim got was quite poisonous.
"Jim, my hatred for interstellar travel aside, I'm a bit more worried about who put us in Starfleet colors"
Leonard snarled, gesturing towards Jim's gold shirt.
" Holy shit Leo I'm a captain"
Leonard's and Jim's heads made a sickening crack as they turned to the soft voice in the middle of the dog pile. A webbed hand shot from the pile.
"Keptin save meee!"
Leonard proceeded to try and brain himself, as Jim raced back to the war zone.
"It was too hot Keptin"
"It's all right now child, you're safe"
Jim cooed, his arm secured around the boy as he steered them to where Leonard was sitting.
"If you're done with the adoption papers Jim, I'd like to get back to the issue at hand"
Leonard sighed, scooting over to make room for the two teens.
Jim looked like the mama goose on his grandpa's farm, the one who stole one of the hen's chicks and refused to give it back
"Of course Leo, we have a very serious situation-"
Leonards' eyebrows rose.
"-why is the kid is wearing Spider-Man while we are wearing the Starfleet spring collection"
The kid blinked.
"You are not an actual Keptin, Keptin?"
"Nope, I just woke up dressed as one. I'm Jim! What's your name, my small child?"
Jim smiled at the kid, he saw him positively light up.
" I am Pavel Chekov, I am fifteen years Keptin Jim!"
Leonard dragged his hand over his face For fuck's sake If Jim wasn't attached to Chekov when he saw the boy in the pile. He certainly was now, the boy called him Keptin Jim goddammit!
"LEO HE'S SO TINY!"
Holy hell where is the airlock in this flying tin can ?!