The office was cold and my head was throbbing. Two days in Plano, Texas tracking down a supposed werewolf who was actually a nineteen-year-old meth head strung out on bath salts biting people. Was he a werewolf or a vampire? And what the hell had I done with my life?
Now I was back in my basement office, typing up ‘our’ field reports at the shared desk as my partner sat across from me playing on his phone as I tried to explain the curious case of Ricky Williams. His reasoning for me being the one to type up said report was I typed faster than him.
“I missed your birthday.” Mulder said outload breaking me from my drug addict biography.
“Wish I did.” I replied feeling as if the last fifty-four years on this planet were nothing more than a giant waste of time.
“It wasn’t on purpose, it was a Friday and you were cranky and I didn’t want to bring it up.”
“So why are you bringing it up now?” I narrowed my eyes at him from above the laptop.
“Because I want to properly celebrate.”
I shook my head and continued to explain the psychosis of the high school dropout, “No need. It’s two months later.”
Mulder shook his head and removed his feet from the desk before getting up and walking over to me, placing his phone on the touchpad of my computer, “Check that out.”
Sighing, I picked up the phone and looked closely at what he was showing me. It was a list of the most romantic hotels in Paris via Trip Advisor. My eyes narrowing again I slowly moved them upwards to meet his, “Presumptuous, are we?”
Mulder shrugged, “Nearly every night for the last month….”
He wasn’t exactly wrong. Since the once…twice…encounter in Southern Virginia, the spark I thought had died years earlier had been relit and had honestly become pretty damn eternal. To the point of the parking garage after everyone else had left for the night. Dinner almost every night and I hardly recalled what my own bed felt like anymore. “This is pretty out of the blue.” I said as I couldn’t help but scroll through the luxurious hotels.
“As I recall, you used to like romantic gestures.” He said sitting on the edge of the desk looking down at me, “And, as I recall, I was pretty good at giving them.”
I nodded as I continued to scroll, each hotel – er bed – more appealing than the previous one. “When exactly do you have this all planned out?”
“Friday.” He replied crossing his arms.
My eyes slowly moved from the phone up to meet his, again, “It’s Thursday.”
“Which is why I really need you to pick one.” He grinned that wicked grin I hadn’t seen in so very long and honestly missed.
“Mulder, I’m quite ok with just a movie and a nice dinner….”
He nodded, “I’m quite ok with champagne and caviar in Paris.”
“You don’t even eat caviar.”
“But I drink champagne.” He got up from the desk and kneeled down next to me, “If you’re afraid of anyone finding out, again, don’t worry about it. No one cares. By now anyone who even knows who we are knows our history and the fact the door is almost always locked even though no one even tries barging in- “
“What do people think we are doing in here all day?” I asked in shock and genuine disgust.
Mulder wiggled his eye brows and even though I wanted to roll my eyes I just sighed and handed him the phone, “The first one.”
Grinning like a child on Christmas morning he took the phone back, “Ah, Relais Christine. Very good choice.”
“You do realize how expensive last-minute plane tickets are, don’t you?”
He nodded, “Booked them thirty minutes ago.” He said before smiling down at me, “I knew you’d cave.”
“When does the flight leave?” I asked innocently enough as not to reveal how much a weekend in Paris honestly excited me.
“Six-thirty.” He replied quickly as if the time and date had been memorized in his head much longer than he admitted to, “I feel if we get out of here around noon that gives us enough time to get to Dulles. I you want to sway suspension – since I think it would be best if we packed tonight and left from here – we can take separate cabs to the office and then the same from here to the airport.”
Sway suspicion. Everyone in the building – if they even cared – knew our sorted history – as he had already just pointed out - and at this point I really liked the idea of carpooling.
“After I’m done packing, I’ll come over tonight for dinner and we can drive in together tomorrow morning.”
Mulder’s left eye brow began to rise as if in slow motion before narrowing his eyes down at me. “Really? No three am fleeing?”
I smiled, feeling the same excitement he was obviously feeling, “I don’t feel like it. Not today.” Then shrugged to bring him, and myself back to reality, “And at the same time carpooling is a good option if we are going in the same direction.”
As if I popped the air in his happy balloon he nodded, then shrugged as well, “I’ll take what I can get.”
Now with my mind completely fixated on the weekend – and watching Mulder anxiously play and swipe his right index finger across the screen of his smart phone, I could no longer concentrate on the bath salt werewolf.
“What time is it?” I naïvely asked given I could easily just look at the lower right-hand corner of my screen.
“Ten thirty-five.” He replied still intently working on his phone and watching his fingers move like that awakened feelings in my brain I had honestly forgotten.
“I’m hungry. Let’s leave for lunch.” I said popping - yes, popping – up from my chair like an excited Jack in the Box and grabbing my coat off the back of it.
“Most places don’t start serving lunch until eleven.” Mulder took a moment to look away from his phone to eye me quizzically.
“I didn’t say I wanted food.” I flashed the wicked smile I always reserved just for him and he quickly nodded, “Just let me finish this.” He said as his fingers worked faster on the device making me envious of a smart phone as my want intensified.
By four pm I had finished my field report on the giant waste of time in Plano, and was on my way home to pack for a weekend trip and it suddenly dawned on me I had no idea what I was going to pack. It also dawned on me that I would have to reschedule my dinner with an old neurosurgeon friend, Scott, for the third time. I would feel badly about cancelling on him, again, if I wasn’t so filled with anticipation for this weekend. It was almost like that excitement you get when you fall in love for the first time and everything is so new, but better because it was like falling in love again with the person you knew you were meant to be with. I was so in my own head I almost missed my exit onto I-395.
I hadn’t been in a relationship since I moved out of ‘our house’ I still called it that because the deed was under my name, but Mulder just lived there. I was intending to only rent knowing eventually we would get back together, but equity is a good thing to have so I purchased the new condo in Bethesda a few months after moving out. Now, I was hardly in my high-tech home where I went a little overboard purchasing the expensive security equipment along with a stereo system that played music from my phone throughout the entire home. I didn’t quite know what inspired me to buy the internet enabled refrigerator, but it just felt like the thing to do. If anything, the resale value went up with my additions.
I grabbed my last used in Plano suitcase from out of the closet and tossed it on the bed and looking at it caused the memories of just a few days prior to come flooding back. Even though we had separate rooms, I still found myself walking over to his with a bucket of ice and asking if he needed any. The equivalent of asking for sugar, and even though I was pretty certain no one was watching us or even cared, I still felt it necessary to come over with props…even if I didn’t leave until the next morning to interview the victims of the meth head with a craving for biting people. We were only there two nights and my garment bag contained my suits – which I emptied and placed in the hamper specifically labeled to take to the dry cleaners tomorrow. I guess that was another thing I would have to reschedule. Opening the suitcase, I went to the bathroom to retrieve my ‘always in their Ziploc bag’ of toiletries along with my travel Spin Brush and tossed those in the open suitcase. What else would I need? I wasn’t big on lingerie and my partner always said it just got in the way anyway, but I wanted to at least bring something and really didn’t have time to run to Victoria’s Secret if I wanted to get to his place by seven. All of my undergarments lately were more about comfort than style and seduction, and as I recalled when we first got together oh so many years prior, just wearing a black bra under a white shirt was enough to set him off - so going with that frame of mind I grabbed one black and one pink - why not – and tossed them in the bag before going retrieve their matches.
Pajamas…when I did sleep in my own bed, I had been sleeping in some red and white plaid flannel ones since it still felt like winter in April, but did I really want to bring those to Paris? I had some satin ones I was still wearing when we were living together and even though they were a decade old they still fit and looked good so I decided to toss those in the open bag as well. As I continued my mental train of what to bring my mind instantly went elsewhere…what kind of trip was this? He didn’t exactly tell me. Just that he wanted to take me there, but not why. No real itinerary other than we got in at eight am on Saturday. When he asked me to choose the hotel, did he book two rooms or one? Why was my mind doing this to me? I didn’t want to be presumptuous, but I also didn’t want to be caught sleeping alone in my lavender silk pajamas he became very good at taking off without tearing the fabric. I picked up my phone and went to text him until my mind instantly went to only hours earlier…in the backseat of my car…and how in between moans, he murmured something about not leaving the hotel room this weekend.
My face flushed with the memory and the tingles took over my body telling me to just throw what I could in the bag and get the hell over there.
When we first got together, nearly twenty years earlier …just doing the math made my head spin – I made a joke that if we had gotten together sooner we wouldn’t have gotten anything done. The only thing that saved us from getting caught was my sudden pregnancy along with his disappearance; because before that…it was like I was a cat in permanent heat. Fast forward two years and hiding in seedy motels which just made it even more exciting; we just never seemed to get sick of one another. That was, of course, until I got a front row seat to the man I loved sinking further and further into depression. If I could go back and change things now I wouldn’t have left him then, but all I could do now was make up for those two years we were apart and try to stay under the speed limit as my right foot turned to lead on I-270 South.
I arrived at my old home a little after seven, later than I had anticipated but traffic never seemed to work in my favor. Parking my car behind his I quickly got out of the car, grabbed my carryon size bag out of the back seat and rushed up the steps practically running through the unlocked front door and slamming it behind me.
“You’re late.” I heard from the living room.
Dropping my bag by the front door I headed towards the voice, “What’s for dinner?” I asked as I begin to unzip my boots.
“Chinese. I didn’t want to deal with leftovers so I ordered it about thirty minutes ago.” He said as I got closer and closer to his voice.
“What’s the status?” I replied getting the right boot off then the left and leaving them behind as I got even closer to him.
“Preparing your meal.” I heard him say a good five feet from me.
“Good.” I replied standing right in front to him as he looked at his phone. “Then we have time.”
“Time for what?” he asked just as I grabbed his phone and placed it on the couch next to him before proceeding to straddle him and shove my tongue so far into his mouth I feared I’d reach his stomach.
Thankfully he didn’t question my actions as his hands moved to my ass, his fingertips digging into the thin fabric of my navy slacks making me wish I had chosen to wear a skirt today. Moving my hands down to the belt I so effortlessly unbuckled earlier was a struggle as I groaned into his mouth. Just as I was able to remove the clasp there was a knock on the door. We both froze in mid make out and slowly parted.
Mulder licked his lips and picked up his phone, removing his right hand from my behind to swipe the screen and smirk, “Juan has arrived with your order.”
Removing myself from him I couldn’t help but notice how quickly he had come to attention, “Do you want me to get it?” I said smirking.
Mulder nodded, “Please.” He basically moaned as he placed the phone back down on the couch and closed his eyes.
I practically dashed to the door to retrieve our dinner before running back and placing the bags on the table before returning to the couch.
“Want me to take care of that?” I asked eying him while feeling a sense of power I hadn’t felt in so very long and enjoying the way it felt.
Mulder shook his head and opened his eyes, “Later. I need my strength.” He said pushing himself off the couch and slowly walking into the kitchen. “The one time they’re early.” He moaned, “Stupid Grub Hub.” He grumbled as he pulled some plates out of the cupboard and carried them to the table no longer saluting. “Not that I was expecting such a greeting.” He continued, eying me as I stood across from him at the table we had shared so many meals at removing the small boxes of rice and larger Styrofoam boxes, “What did you order?” I asked enjoying the aroma emitting from the boxes
“Vegetable potstickers and shrimp and broccoli.” He replied, “No sauces; trying to keep my sodium levels down.”
I nodded and opened one of the boxes of rice before dumping half the rice onto my plate, “Shrimp is high in cholesterol.”
“Let me have one thing!” he whined like a child, “Besides, I had my physical last week and was told I had the body of a thirty-year-old.”
“I could have told you that without the physical.” I grinned grabbing the box of grilled shrimp and broccoli and using the provided chopsticks to kick the contents onto my rice covered plate.
“Not that I’m complaining.” He said taking the box from my hands, “What is up with you? It’s been a very, very, VERY long time since you’ve been the initiator twice in one day.”
“Not sure.” I honestly shrugged, “I just feel…energized”
“If you want to be crude about it.” I said sitting down, “What do you have to drink?”
“Wine, beer, water.” He looked towards the fridge, “I may have juice.”
“Wine.” I replied, “But only half a glass. I need my stamina as well.”
Nodding, Mulder turned back to the kitchen and grabbed the merlot out of the fridge, “You would have usually finished this by now.” He replied removing the temporary cork and taking a wine glass out of the cupboard.
“I haven’t wanted it as much. It’s as if my body is limiting me. God, I hope I don’t develop an allergy to wine.”
“Given where we are going tomorrow I hope not either.” He replied pouring half a glass and handing it to me.
“Did you tell Skinner?”
“It’s the weekend.” He said going back and grabbing another wine glass for himself, “It’s none of his business what we do in the off hours.”
“Why are you so angry with him?”
Mulder shrugged and sat down across from me, pushing some of the boxes out from between us, “Just his actions recently are bothering me. Never there when you call him…just…odd stuff. I’m just keeping my guard up is all.”
“He’s never betrayed us before.”
Mulder nodded, “I know…it’s just a feeling. I’m sure it will pass.” He said trying to use the chopsticks before grumbling fuck it and picking up the plastic fork, all the while giving me a dirty look for using them with no effort.
“So, why Paris.” I asked snagging a potsticker from the other Styrofoam container with my sticks before biting into it. “So last minute and all.”
“I’ve been having these dreams. Like an alternate reality where we are happy and were always together and we go to Paris.”
“It feels like the dream is happening in the past, about the time we …. weren’t…together.”
“Like it’s something that would have happened if I didn’t move out.”
Mulder nodded and stabbed his plastic fork into a pot sticker, “It felt really real…like it really happened. Kind of sucked to wake up alone.” He said focusing on his plate then sighing, “Given, where we are…now…I figured it was worth it to try. But I got refundable tickets just in case.”
I nodded as I poked at a shrimp, “I’m sorry.” I said suddenly feeling guilty for a decision I made years earlier, “But you understand why, now…don’t you?”
Mulder nodded, “I do. I really do, and because of that I think we are in a really good place now. Aren’t we?”
“I believe so.” I said forcing a smile through my guilt-ridden lips, “I like seeing you happy. Or if not happy at least feeling as if you have a purpose. Sitting at home all day in that room.” I said motioning towards the room he now kept boxes in, “Wasn’t good for you.”
“I know that now.” He replied after chewing, “I don’t blame you. Maybe leaving was the kick in the pants I needed to get my shit together.” He took his left hand and reached across the table taking mine, “Thank you.”
I forced a smile, unable to say ‘you’re welcome’ I just nodded and brought another shrimp to my lips.
These were the times I missed. When we would just be quietly eating dinner. I’d come home exhausted to some gourmet meal Mulder had whipped up after watching Rachel Ray, or something he found on the internet. I’d tell him about my day, cry over the children I couldn’t save and he’d hold me at night until I fell asleep exhausted from the grief. Until dinner became cold pizza he didn’t finish at lunch – if he ate at all and him usually passing out on the couch. I didn’t want to go back to those times and all I could do was hope that he didn’t either.
We finished dinner in silence and when the plates were clear Mulder handed me a fortune cookie which I quickly snapped in half at the same time he did.
“What’s your fortune?” He asked me
“ Your road to glory will be rocky, but fulfilling.” I replied tossing it on my empty plate. “What’s yours?”
He smiled and looked at directly at me, “Dream with your eyes wide open.”
“Spooky?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
And that was my cue, “Let’s get to bed.”
Mulder nodded and got up tossing the fortune on the table as he grabbed the plates and took them into the kitchen. Having to see it for myself I picked up the tiny piece of paper and sure enough that’s what it said.
Dream with your eyes wide open.
I was halfway up the stairs as I felt his presence behind me, practically chasing me the rest of the way into the bedroom we once shared on a daily basis. He had kept everything the way it was when we were together, which made me wonder if he was just lazy or symbolic. Going with the latter I flipped on the small lamp I had purchased at an antiques store in Richmond one summer and turned back around just in time for him to wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me against him as his lips were on mine. My hands moving to his head, my nails digging into his skull as his tongue entered my mouth and his hands moved back to my ass pulling me up to get a better position as my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, my head now above his as his tongue continued to explore the innerworkings of my mouth and I did all I could not to explode from the sensations taking over my body. My hands moved to his neck as I pushed his tongue aside with my own and his knees buckled a bit over whatever this move, I would have to remember to use again, did to him.
It wasn’t until he laid me down horizontally on the bed and his lips moved from mine down my neck, his hands beginning to unbutton my Foxcroft ivory fitted blouse that it hit me.
“Shit.” I moaned, closing my eyes.
I could feel his fingers stop on the fourth button, “What’s wrong?” He asked in almost a whisper like panic.
“I forgot to bring any other blouses.” I opened my eyes, “For tomorrow.”
“What did you pack?”
I smiled, “Nothing I could wear to the office.”
He grinned in return, “Just wear this again. You can change at the airport.”
“People will notice I’m wearing the same thing I wore today.”
“No, they won’t. Trust me. They never noticed before.” He winked before going back to delicately unfastening the remaining two buttons, and sliding his hands up my stomach causing my back to arch and my nipples to harden as his hands slid under my back to unclasp the barrier between my breasts and his touch.
Forcing myself into a sitting position just long enough to remove the clothing and toss it on the end of the bed making my own mental note not to let the blouse get wrinkled, I quickly laid back down to let him finish what he was doing.
Taking his time to tease each of my nipples with his tongue, I was pained in wanting need as his fingers traced my ribs like a musical instrument as they moved down to the slacks which I would also have to prevent from being wrinkled and the right side of my brain screamed at the left side to just let me have this moment. I kept my eyes focused on the ceiling as I had so many times in the past as I let my mind go with the feel of his gentle hands as they unfastened and slowly unzipped my pants; letting my hips rise from the bed as he pulled them off me in the same slow and agonizing fashion. I couldn’t remember a time when I wanted to scream JUST FUCK ME more than I did now, and as I felt the cold air hit my pussy with the removal of my panties and the feel of his hands on my inner thighs as my legs instinctually spread for him, the second I felt his tongue touch my clit I feared I would explode. I gasped audibly as his tongue continued to circle my needy bud, my hands moving to his head as my legs spread wider, my breath baited as I felt such a rush coming too soon and knowing how much I needed him inside of me when I came, I cried out for him to do just that. With my eyes clenched shut I felt him part from me and I didn’t even hear a belt unbuckle or a zipper before he was inside of me, and with that one thrust the rush came over me. My hands gripping the sixty-dollar comforter from Macy’s as I screamed out in pain and pleasure, each thrust bringing on more sensations as my body shook from the multiple orgasms taking over. I lost count as my body withered under him, his hands gripping my waist as his thrusts became quicker and faster. Fearing I would pass out I opened my eyes as my body continued to pulsate and my heart beat rapidly focusing them on his just as he thrust one last time, his nails digging into my flesh as he moaned out my name and I watched his body jerk before he became very still. I focused on my own heartbeat as I watched him slowly open his eyes and let go of my waist before doing a quick turn and passing out on the bed next to me.
I brought my hands to my waist as I watched his chest moving rapidly; waiting for it to steady. My eyes moved to his face, sweat dripping down the sides as I removed my right hand from my body and grabbed his left. Squeezing it hard as I feared the old man wore himself out.
“What was that?” I finally asked after I was sure he could actually understand me.
He swallowed hard and opened his eyes, but didn’t look at me, “Something I saw in a movie.”
I really didn’t have to ask what kind of movie.
After I didn’t reply he turned his head to look at me, his eyes seeming to be full of doubt, “Was it too much?”
I shook my head a bit, not really sure what I felt, “It was…intense.” I replied, “it wasn’t bad.” I didn’t want him to feel self-conscious, “Just...intense.” I really wasn’t sure what to say given I felt like my body was on fire and still smoldering. “Pretty sure we never did that before.”
Now he gave me a small smile, “Oh we have, you probably just forgot.” He turned his head back to the ceiling, “It was just like then.”
Honestly, he probably remembered every sexual encounter he had ever had, but I preferred it if he just focused on the ones with me at this point. As exhaustion started to cloud my brain I slowly sat up and leaned over as he placed his hand on my back – instant shivers going down my spine, “Where are you going?” he asked.
“Nowhere.” I replied turning my head to look at him. “I need my pants to wear tomorrow as well.”
Striking that devilish grin, he gave me a bit of a pout, “So no pantsless Friday.”
“Not at the FBI.”
I didn’t dream much anymore. Not sure why that was, but given everything I had gone through in my fifty-four years on the planet maybe it was for the best, but on this night, back in my old bed my mind sent me on its own journey. Remembering a time when I was eight months pregnant with our son and had Mulder back since his abduction. He had been distant for a couple of days, my pregnancy being the factor, but we had shared a bed for the first time in far too many months and I had woken in the middle of the night with his hands wrapped around my belly. I had never felt so safe or as content as I had in that moment. The memory feeling so real that when I opened my eyes to see Mulder laying on his side watching me, I did all I could to stop the tears from falling.
“What are you doing?” I asked as the moonlight shined on his face.
“I’m not that entertaining.”
“You are to me.” He smiled, “I’ve just been wondering for the last hour or so how this beautiful, ageless woman, could ever think she was old. That she was unattractive or undesirable when you’re all I’ve thought about for twenty-five-years.”
Biting my lower lip to stop the impending tears, again, I forced a smile, “You know you only said all that to get in my pants.”
“Mission accomplished.” He smiled back, “But as it is, we should probably get up anyway. Alarm will go off in a few minutes and we need to get ready. You can shower first…unless.” his grin widened.
“We will have plenty of time for that later. Don’t need any distractions this morning.”
He nodded as I sat up in bed, a yawn coming over me, “Did you have that dream again?” I asked.
Mulder shook his head as he sat up as well, “Maybe because now it’s no longer a dream.”
I leaned over and gave him a small kiss before parting, “Do you have any products that won’t have me smelling like a man?” I asked given I was rushing so much to pack I didn’t bring anything beyond my travel bag of toiletries which I didn’t want to go downstairs to retrieve.
Mulder nodded, “Just check the cabinet by the tub.”
I reluctantly got my naked body out of the warm bed and quickly darted into the bathroom, turning the light on and turning on the shower remembering how long it would take the water to warm up before closing the shower curtain and opening the cabinet my eyes immediately going to the shelf under the folded towels where I was overwhelmed with my favorite body wash, shampoo and conditioner. My eyes focused on the bottle of Herbal Essence Shampoo staring back at me, “Mulder…” I questioned without realizing he was already in the doorway.
“I didn’t have the heart to turn off your automatic deliveries.” He replied, “Every three months times two years…” he shrugged, “You’re set for a while.”
Biting my lower lip, again, harder I grabbed a bottle of each placing them on the crook of my left arm before closing the cabinet and stepping into the now warmed up shower. After placing the bottles on the corner of the tub I took hold of the curtain and felt overcome with too many emotions.
“Mudler….” I called out again.
This time it took him a bit longer to return to the bathroom, “Yeah?” he said from the doorway.
“Get in here.”
Mulder drove my car to the office. After the impromptu session in the shower my legs weren’t really up for the drive and it did delay our leaving a bit after I almost forgot my bag by the door and couldn’t remember where I had left my boots. Not sure where my brain was lately, but it definitely wasn’t where it needed to be. Thankfully we still got to the office parking garage early enough to not be spotted coming in together and as we worked on filing for the three hours, we would be working today in our basement office, we thought we would be in the clear from seeing Skinner until he left for a meeting in New York at eleven.
I sat at the desk alphabetizing case logs as Mulder placed files to be scanned in a box and at precisely 10:45AM I realized we wouldn’t be so lucky.
“Spring cleaning?” Skinner said from the doorway making me wonder how long he had been watching us.
“End of the first quarter. You said these were due for Merritt to pick up on Monday.” Mulder said not even looking as he placed the file on the werewolf meth boy in the file box.
Skinner nodded as he walked into the office with what looked like tickets in his hands, “I didn’t realize I had these tickets to tomorrow’s Capital’s game until this morning. Either of you want them?”
“I don’t like hockey, sir.” I replied quickly.
“I’m busy.” Mulder replied in a bit of a curt tone looking up from the box.
Skinner eyed us both before turning and closing the door before approaching the desk again, “Look, your expense report was flagged last month for the one room in Henrico County and I told them it was a suite and nothing was happening, but you know the bureau has a lot of eyes on it after all that business with Strzok and Page and they don’t need any more distractions. Given you two are practically joined at the hip, I was well aware of what could happen if I brought you back here; so, I don’t care what you do on your own time just keep it out of the office.”
All I could honestly do was nod. I felt like I was being lectured to by a parent and I really had no defense, so I nodded. Mulder shrugged and went back to filing as Skinner smacked the tickets against his hand and turned around and opened the door.
“Oh.” He said turning back towards us, “Keep it out of the parking garage as well” he mic-dropped before exiting.
Exhaling, finally, I looked down at the man next to the desk, “What the hell!”
Mulder shook his head, “I don’t care what he knows. He knew then too and he didn’t say anything.”
“How do you know?”
He turned his head and honestly gave me the most ‘what are you an idiot’ look and I would have been mad if he wasn’t right. Once again, all I could do was nod and count down the next fifty minutes.
Honestly, I felt a bit guilty as I left the office at noon. The boxes had been packed for pickup Monday morning so it wasn’t like I didn’t finish my tasks, but the guilt was still there and I knew Mulder could sense it as we got into my car.
“If he embarrassed you…” Mulder said as he snapped his seat belt.
I shook my head as I did the same, “No, it’s not about him. Maybe it is. I just don’t like people knowing about my personal life.”
“As you walked around the bureau visibly pregnant for how many months?” He said starting the car, “Honestly, I don’t care who knows about us. Eighteen-years-ago, I admit I got a secret thrill thinking we were sneaking around, but the closer I get to sixty the more I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not asking for a commitment or for you to come home – ok I’ve asked that a few times – but I’m just happy for every second of every day I get to spend with you. Ok?”
I really wasn’t expecting all of that to come out of his mouth in the space of a few minutes and I found myself frozen in shock from it. I knew he loved me, and I knew I loved him, but it was just the way he said it…I knew nothing I could say would match how he just let it all out.
“OK…” was the only reply I was capable of.
Nodding he turned his head and backed out of the parking spot before speeding out of the garage.
The flight didn’t leave until six thirty, but we were sitting at the gate waiting by four. Traffic and TSA weren’t as bad as we expected them to be so now, we just had time to sit and wait. Mulder played on his phone as I stared at the wall.
“I’m happy for every second of every day I get to spend with you too.” I said to the wall.
He didn’t reply, but I did feel him take hold of my right hand with his left and that was enough.
Since Mulder booked last-minute first-class seats, we were able to board before everyone else and I was not expecting two seats which essentially looked like recliners with enough room to actually stretch out. Oh, yes, I would be rewarding him for this.
“Would you like anything to drink?” The nice flight attendant Marcia asked.
“Scotch. Straight.” Mulder said as he got himself comfortable with the provided blanket and pillow.
“Club soda, please.” I replied.
Marcia nodded and turned back to the front of the plane.
“You’re honestly passing up free alcohol.” Mulder looked at me quizzically, “Really?”
“I just don’t feel like it.” I replied getting more comfortable because I actually could.
“You’re not going to become one of those non-drinkers who starts judging other people are you?”
I had to laugh, “No. You can have your scotch…just as long as it doesn’t affect you too much.” I winked as Marcia returned with my Canada Dry and his tiny bottle and glass.
Given most of my air travel was with the government, first class was not something I was accustomed to. When we arrived at the airport, I asked Mulder if we would be having dinner before the flight and he replied that we would be eating on the plane. My appetite had been much greater than I was used to, so the thought of having a bag of peanut free/gluten free snacks tossed my way was not that appealing, so when I was handed a menu which included an appetizer, first course, main course, a selection of cheeses AND dessert I was honestly shocked. What it must be like to live this way. Mulder was on his second scotch as I finished a second bottle of water before the main course was served and by his third he was out like a light and I rested my head on his right shoulder – cursing the large armrest between us – before drifting off to sleep myself.
I didn’t awaken until the wheels hit the tarmac and my partner was staring up at the ceiling, “I missed breakfast…” I said not knowing why I was so focused on my stomach – again.
“We can get some later.” He replied bringing his focus to me, “Did you sleep well?”
“Honestly, better than I expected. A girl could get used to traveling this way.”
Mulder snickered, “I’m sure the taxpayers would love it. If anything, it would be another reason to dismantle the FBI.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I replied not liking that he took the conversation there as he always seemed to, “We will be fine.”
Mulder nodded, “I know that. I just get irritated. Easily.”
“I know that as well.” I smiled and looked out the window of the plane, “Do you think they will let us check in this early?”
“I called and arranged just that. You’re lucky I know enough French to beg and plead.”
I looked back at him and nodded, “You’re very good and begging and pleading in many languages.”
Passport control took a good hour, we were questioned as to why we were only there for the weekend – seriously – but eventually free to catch a cab to the hotel.
“So…” Mulder asked as we sat in the cab, “Do you want to see anything outside of the room?”
“Of course, I do.” I replied, “I can’t come here and not see one thing.”
Mulder nodded and grabbed his phone, swiping a few times and then handing it to me, “This thing?”
It was two tickets to a one-hour tour of the Eifel Tower with VIP access.
Nodding I handed the phone back to him, “That’s an hour.”
He nodded as well and did some more swiping before handing the phone back to me, “I figure we can rest up then take the Eifel tour, then just walk around the city before this.”
The next tickets were for a dinner cruise on the Seine which was a two-and-a-half-hour tour that floated past the most famous monuments along with a three-course meal.
“The cruise departs at eight thirty, should be done by eleven and then we can just get back to the hotel and…”
I nodded and handed the phone back to him, “And...” I smiled, “Sounds like a perfect day.”
Seeming very impressed with himself, Mulder shoved his phone back into the front pocket of his leather jacket and leaned back, “any day with you is perfect.”
He was seriously laying it on thick.
As he promised, we were allowed to check into the hotel early and grabbed some croissants and juice from the café next door. After devouring my breakfast all I wanted was a nice long bath and a nice nap before we headed out for the tower, but as I lay in the tub taking in the lavender and jasmine scents of the foam bath I brought with me for every trip, my mind began to wander to the man in the next room and the excitement that never really seemed to wane in the last month come over me. I could take care of it myself, but why should I when what I desired most was just behind the door.
I called out his name and within a few minutes he was in the bathroom, looking down at me as I lay under piles of bubbles in a bathtub big enough for two.
“Did you need something?”
I nodded and moved to the edge of the tub, not even asking permission before moving my hands up the legs of his jeans and to the waist where I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped the denim before simply reaching in and taking hold of what I ‘needed.’
Taking it in my mouth slowly, he groaned and moved his hands to my head, gripping tightly as I slid his cock in deeper while moving my hands to his waist to pull his pants down far enough so he could step out of them without ever leaving my mouth. My tongue circling around the shaft as the head tickled the back of my throat, I debated letting him finish, but at the same time not wanting to have to wait for him to be ready for a second round. By then, the water would be cold.
Releasing him from my hold, his hands still on my head as I lifted it to meet his gaze. Another question I didn’t have to ask as I watched him quickly pull off his sweater and the grey t shirt underneath it as I moved back to my original position in the large tub and waiting for him to join me. Cautiously, as to probably not step on me, Mulder stepped into the tub and sat down on the opposite end – which was really only a good foot from me and it took me less than a minute to move my body above his, slowly sliding his cock inside of me as I lowered myself on top of him.
My eyes rolling into the back of my head as his lips moved to my neck, licking and kissing and biting as I rode him, slower, faster, moving my hand to my clit to give it the attention it so very much needed as my muscles tightened and released with every movement. His hands moved to my back, his fingers tickling my spine as his mouth continued to taste every inch of my arched neck as I felt myself so close to coming, but wanting to make it last as long as it did the night before. Taking his head in my hands I kissed him deeply before withdrawing my lips and looking directly at him as I took hold of his right hand with my left, our fingers intertwining as I moved both our hands to my throbbing clit, moving his fingers against it and gasping at the sensation that flowed through me before directing his hand to continue rubbing and telling him not to stop until I told him to. His eyes focused on mine, he did just that, taking the bud between his fingers and gently squeezing it as I threw back my head and arched my back, his mouth now on my right breast, his teeth emulating the same actions as his fingers and as my muscles tightened around his cock and the pulsating orgasm continued, his fingers continued to tease and his mouth continued to please my breasts as my body shook under him. He groaned and bit a little too hard into my left nipple and the pain sent me into my next orgasm as he completed his first. I moaned for him not to stop as the next wave came crashing over me and my hands gripped the sides of the tub and out of mostly fear of blacking out from the pleasurable pain, I finally asked him to stop and he removed his fingers from my exhausted clit and pulled my heaving body against him. Releasing my death grip from the edge of the porcelain claw foot tub, I wrapped my arms around his shaking body and held him against me. Our hearts beating rapidly in sync until we were able to actually get out of the tub.
As we wandered around the two levels of the tower amongst people from every nation, it started to really bother me that I was in the most romantic city in the world for one day and my body was just constantly in a state of arousal. Work had been hard enough, but there was something about being here that just made it so much more obnoxious. Fearing impending menopause since I was already late this month, I would probably have to get my hormone levels checked, but at the same time it was kind of fun being a 100-watt light bulb which was always on. Kind of.
After taking my twentieth pic of the view of Paris from the second level my eyes focused on a little red-haired girl who couldn’t be more than three running towards me. I nearly dropped the phone out of my hand as she cried out “ma ma!” until she ran past me to a fellow redhead standing with her arms outstretched, taking in the little girl and smothering her with kisses. My eyes now damp I shoved my phone in my back pocket and looked for my partner who was taking pictures from the opposite end of the tower.
“Let’s go.” I said simply without looking at him.
“What?” Mulder said. I knew he had turned toward me, but I felt it necessary to keep my eyes focused on my boots.
“I just want to go.”
I expected more of a fight, but instead he took my hand and started walking towards the elevator. It wasn’t until we were alone in the elevator I could exhale and look forward.
“I saw her too.” Mulder replied, “Guess I just hoped you wouldn’t.”
Being the tourists that we were, we just walked around the gardens by the tower and around the city itself, hand in hand but not saying a word. I really didn’t want to be a downer on this romantic weekend, but I realized long ago there wouldn’t be a time when my heart didn’t ache for another child. I tried not to bring it up much, but that little girl with her red ringlets and her little green dress and saddle shoes just send my heart directly into my stomach.
“I’m sorry.” I finally said as we got closer to the Arc de Triomphe, “I didn’t mean to spoil the day.”
“Never be sorry.” He replied, “You didn’t spoil anything. How many photos of a city can one person take anyway?”
I looked up at him and forced a smile, “You’re a very special person Fox Mulder.”
He shrugged, “I try.”
Thankfully there were no adorable little girls to haunt me at the next historic landmark and we then caught a cab to The Louvre where I was also not attacked with emotions, but was disappointed in the actual size of the Mona Lisa painting – and the line to actually see it – before we caught another cab back to the hotel to get ready for dinner.
My sex drive wasn’t exactly gone, but it wasn’t in the overdrive state it had been after seeing the ginger haired toddler, so I was able to allow Mulder to take an actual shower as I put my hair up in a mesh donut like bun on the top of my head and proceeded to wear the pink bra and matching panties under the long black spaghetti strapped dress which had been in the back of my closet so long it probably wondered if it would ever see the light of day again. Valentine’s Day 2015 was probably the last time I wore it. I moved out that summer.
Pushing aside the guilt that really wanted to kill the mood, I proceeded to put on my makeup at the provided vanity which was directly across from the bathroom door, I was in mid eyeliner application when the door opened and my eyes focused on the man exiting the room wearing only a towel around his waist. I silently groaned as a way to tell my libido to heal, there was plenty of time for that AFTER dinner and I didn’t want to mess up my hair or makeup, and proceeded to continue my beauty regimen as, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the towel be removed and tossed onto a chair by the wardrobe. All my eyes could focus on was the tight posterior of the man directly behind me. Licking my lips, at least twice I took a very deep breath and tried to think of something a little less exciting. Insects, vermin, the so-called president whose name was not allowed to be spoken – or thought of – in Mulder’s presence.
I looked at my watch and it was seven-thirty. There was not enough time and right now my stomach’s need for food outweighed the area directly south of it.
By eight we were both dressed – took him long enough – and out the door waiting for the cab. He in a nice black suit and navy tie, me in my black dress with matching four-inch heels, grey shall draped over my cold shoulders and more than anything I wanted a photo of us to remember this with; even with the edict from the bureau that our phones could be confiscated for official reasons at any time. In all honesty, since I had returned to the bureau two years prior, I started to care less and less about any of their official memos. Maybe I was becoming more like my partner. Silently saying ‘screw it’, I pulled my phone out of my evening bag and told Mulder to smile before quickly taking a selfie.
“You never selfie.” He said confused as I confirmed that the photo looked ok and marveled at how adorable we did look together.
“Just felt appropriate.” I smiled up at him, “We aren’t Stzork and Page.”
“I know we aren’t. But if they ever take my phone, they’re going to find a lot worse texts about…him.”
“Mostly to me.” I chuckled a bit as I placed the phone back into my bag.
“All to you.” He put his arm around my chest and pulled me closer to him as we stood in silence waiting for the cab.
Paris at night was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined and we were given the history of every landmark we passed while enjoying a fabulous dinner of sea bass followed by a chocolate fondant with the half a glass of wine, I felt I needed to have. Thankfully, my body didn’t reject it. Maybe because of the chocolate. There was music, in French, so I and no idea what they were saying, but it was nice to just let my mind focus on it and not on what seemed to plague me every day.
By eleven we were back at the hotel and after two glasses of champagne and a glass of wine I feared my partner would be out for the count, but as I entered the room before him and turned on the overhead light, he quickly scooped me into his arms and kicked the door shut.
“My turn to be the initiator.” He smiled at me as I tossed my purse on the chair where the damp towel still remained and let him be the one to kiss me first. His tongue tasting of wine and chocolate as he lay me gently onto the bed, my head on the pillow as he began to take off my shoes, placing them on the floor at the end of the bed as he ran his hands up my bare legs, pushing the dress up to my waist where he focused his attention on his favorite area.
“Pink.” He looked at me as he ran his hands up my thighs and to my waist. “I like pink.”
“I know you do.” I replied taking hold of the ends of the dress and quickly pulling it off of me and tossing it across the room.
“Matching set.” He winked before sitting up, his legs straddling mine, and pulled off his jacket, throwing it in the same direction of my dress before following with the tie and the white dress shirt.
My desire for him increasing as I focused my eyes on his defined chest. You would never guess this was a man only a few years away from sixty. I could stare at his abs longer than I stared at that damn Da Vinci painting, for Fox William Mulder was a true work of art.
He placed his hands on my hips and started to slowly remove my panties as he moved off of the bed. Standing at the end of the bed he tossed the pink underthings behind him and narrowed his eyes at me as he undid his belt and let his pants fall to the floor revealing pink boxer shorts.
I had to giggle that I didn’t even notice he had put those on when I was trying hard not to look at him while getting ready, but those were gone in a matter of seconds and he was back on the bed, his face inches away from mine as he moved his hands under my back to unclasp my brassiere.
“Remember our first time?” he asked while he slid the spaghetti straps down my arms until I was free of the thing tossing it the way of the other clothing.
I nodded, “It was a long time ago.”
“Remember how scared you were…” he said running his fingers down my neck, “Like I was something you had wanted for so long but were afraid to actually have?”
I nodded again, quickly swallowing the lump in my throat before I let him see me cry from the memories.
“Did I ever tell you how scared I was?” he said now tracing my face with his fingertips, “I was so surprised to see you standing by my bed, I wasn’t sure what to say or do. What if I did something wrong? What if you realized I was a mistake? As much as I loved you then, I was more afraid of losing you.”
I was unsure why he was choosing now to give me this monologue, but I let him continue as I brought my hands to his back, my own fingers tracking the lines of his ribs as he continued to remind me how much he cherished me as a woman, a partner, and a friend. He never saw me as a sexual being and loved me for my mind as much as my body, and before I could even get out a thank you his lips were on mine as his hands moved down my body and my thighs parted as he slowly entered me. His lips parting from my own as his eyes kept their focus on mine and as if he was wanting to recreate that first time he didn’t move until I nodded for him to do so. Closing his eyes, he slowly withdrew before entering me again, his pace slow and steady like I needed to get used to the feel of him. Closing my own eyes, I brought my hands down to his backside, digging my nails into the flesh as I begged for him push harder and deeper and faster. Not listening to my cries, he continued his slow pace, like he wanted this to last so much longer as I continued to beg and attempt to pull him in deeper. Eventually giving in his thrusts began to quicken, his cock going deeper inside of me as my muscles tightened around it refusing to let go. I moaned out his name and locked my ankles around his legs and he began to move faster, arching his back as he gripped my shoulders with his hands. I was so close and tightened my grip on his firm ass as a loud groan escaped his lips just as the sensations came over me. Just one. But it was enough as his exhausted body fell on top of mine where he lay for a few minutes before rolling over onto his back next to me.
I didn’t really recall our first time that well. I remembered being scared. I remembered walking into his dark bedroom unsure what I would do, but instinct took over as if I always knew I was meant to be with this man even though it took me so long to get there.
We needed to be back at the airport before noon for our flight home. After sleeping a much needed eight hours, we made love again before getting out of bed and retrieving our clothing from the floor just to pack it and return home. We’d be back in Virginia by five and after dropping Mulder off at home I would return to my place to sleep alone and anxiously await seeing him at the office the next day. The memories of our first encounter and what it resulted in being foremost on my mind.
A long cab ride, and a quick pass through security and we were back on the plane in the same seats we arrived in. Me at the window and Mulder in the aisle. We really didn’t say much during the trip back to the airport and I could tell Mulder had something on his mind just by the way he was playing with his phone.
“Spill it.” I said snatching the phone out of his hands and seeing he was only checking his email.
“Twenty percent off coupon at the Tyson’s Corner Pottery Barn?” He shrugged, “What’s there to spill?”
“You haven’t said a word since we left the hotel.”
Nodding he took his phone back from me and turned it off before shoving it in his coat pocket, “Just post weekend blues. We weren’t even here long enough to get used to the time change.”
“It doesn’t mean we can never come back.” I replied, “Maybe not last-minute first-class seats, but we could always return. Paris isn’t going anywhere and neither are we.”
That forced a smile out of him, “I guess I’m still worried every day I will do something to drive you away…again.”
“I honestly never see that happening. Again. I think that now, it’s best we don’t live together just because of our jobs and everything happening in the country, but I also know we won’t be there forever. We are eligible for retirement after twenty years of service with a full pension and benefits and when that eventually happens who knows where we will end up, but I’m pretty sure we will be together.”
“Can we make that happen tomorrow?”
I chuckled a bit as the flight attendant, Debbie, brought me a bottle of water and Mulder his tiny bottle of scotch, “I’m sure it will happen soon. I just have a feeling we’ve reached the end of the road with the bureau.”
“Me too.” Mulder said unscrewing the bottle and pouring the brown liquid into his glass, before picking it up and instructing me to do the same with my bottle, “Let’s toast to the end of the road.”
I nodded and clinked my plastic bottle against his plastic glass, “and to whatever our next journey may take us.”
He smiled and clinked again before bringing the glass to his lips and taking a large sip, “You know, Dana…”
“Yes, Fox.” I replied before taking a large drink of my water.
“Happy birthday. I can’t wait to spend fifty-four more with you.”
If he wanted me to cry, he was doing a good job at it, but instead I just took his hand and looked out the window as we began our journey home and while focusing on the blue sky above, I simply replied, “Me too.”