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Eye for an Eye

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There's something sexy about the way that you rage

I love to hate you I'm glad we're on the same page

"Eye for an Eye" by The Strike

Rey doesn’t even like Poe, so she’s not exactly sure how she ends up with his arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist, staggering almost into the side door of their dorm. He’s laughing hysterically about some joke that somebody had made at the party, but Rey isn’t drunk enough to find it so extremely funny and she’s on the verge of shoving him off and letting him find his way to his own room—it wouldn’t be too horrible of her, since they’re already inside their hall, would it?—when suddenly she hears a baritone voice call her name sharply, rage quivering in every syllable: “Miss Niima!” and then, “Mr. Dameron!”

She goes cold and slowly turns her head to see a positively livid Ben Solo—the RA—standing in the doorway of the stairwell leading to the rest of the building upstairs. No, she’s definitely not drunk enough to dampen her awareness of Solo’s fury—his eyes are wide, nostrils flaring, and his features look strained as if he’s barely holding himself together. She’s not sure if her heart starts to race from fear or excitement. Because yeah—her RA is hot. She noticed that reality from day 1. Rose and Kaydel sniff when she admits this once, probably smoking together on a porch somewhere in the upperclassmen apartments—because Rose and Kaydel think the RA of Organa Hall is weird. Maybe he’s attractive, but that doesn’t erase his weirdness. Plus, they live in a building named after his mom. “He like never smiles,” Kaydel points out, like that’s valid proof that Ben Solo is not, in fact, hot. Rey decides to not say out loud that she’s inexplicably turned on by his brooding attitude. This would only earn her an askance look from her friends.

Ben is decidedly not smiling right now as she and Poe awkwardly stumble towards him, still stupidly clutching each other for support. Poe’s absolutely wasted. And both he and Rey are underage. That’s probably enough to earn expulsion. Ben’s wearing black sweatpants and a black shirt with red type sprawled across it. His black hair is pulled back in a half-ponytail and his huge arms are folded over his chest. He’s looking down his nose at both Rey and Poe and Rey can hear his heavy breathing in the eerily still room. Poe looks up and guffaws before groaning softly, he’s starting to look a bit green, and Ben sharply tells him to get upstairs to a toilet before he pukes all over the ground. Rey holds her breath and starts to guide Poe into the stairwell when Ben barks her name, “Miss Niima, he’s not two. He’s been potty-trained, remember?”

Rey can’t help but glare at her RA. Yeah, she gets they’re in trouble, but Poe needs help. He’s really not looking good right now and he keeps swaying. “Go on Dameron, there’s a bathroom in the first-floor lobby. Don’t make a mess for the cleaning ladies, please.”

Poe mutters, “Fuck you, Solo,” feebly, before trudging on up the stairs. Ben pins Rey beneath the weight of his black stare. She feels very small, and even though Poe’s obnoxious, she wishes he would have stayed. Or she’d rather have gone to listen to him empty his stomach than stand here, waiting for Ben to just talk. It’s like he’s trying to draw this out, make her as uncomfortable as possible

“Ok, I get it. I know—it’s illegal, and all that shit. But don’t tell me that you didn’t do stuff like this before,” Rey knows this is a dangerous line to walk, but she does have somealcohol in her system and it makes her bolder. And his scrutiny is pissing her off.

Ben snorts. “I didn’t. My mom is the fucking president of the school. I’m her trophy son.” Then, his voice changes ever so slightly, becoming more professional and annoyingly imperious—his RA voice. “What I’m more concerned with, Miss Niima, is the fact that you’re whoring around campus.”

“What?” Rey squeaks, rearing back. “Whoring?” If possible, he looks even more angry now than when Poe was here. The tips of his ears, usually covered up by his hair, are flushed bright red and his full lips drawn tightly together.

“Yes,” his voice trembles slightly, as if he’s just barely containing some sort of emotion beneath the surface. “Staggering around at—what, one in the fucking morning—draped all over Poe Dameron. God knows what else.”

Rey blinks rapidly, unable to believe what she’s hearing. God, he’s such a freak. Like it’s any of his fucking business who she’s fucking around with—not that she is; she has no interest in any of the guys at this school. Well, no interest in almost all of the guys at this school. She only thinks Ben is hot. But he’s such a dick.

“Yeah?” she snorts, planting her hands on her hips. “So fucking what?”

“So what?” he snarls, leaning down so that his long nose is only inches from her button one.

“Write me up, or whatever,” Rey sneers. “I’ll deal, okay. Sorry for breaking the law. But who I hang with is none of your business.”

“I’m your RA.” She can feel his breath on her cheeks. Warm, minty. A shiver raises gooseflesh and the fine hairs on her arms and neck.

“Yeah, so do your fucking job and slap me with a fine, or whatever. But you don’t get to tell me what to do in my personal life. Nobody does.” And nobody ever will. Rey pushes past him and runs up the stairs, two at a time, to get back to the room she shares with Rose Tico.

 

______

           

Ben doesn’t write her up. Rey waits and waits for shit to hit the fan, but it never does. She never gets an email, or some notice from school officials. It’s like a waking nightmare though, expecting every minute for that to happen. And here she has to admit that maybe Ben is a genius, playing the psychological terror card. Building her suspense, making her think it’s coming. Scaring the shit out of her. Or maybe he doesn’t want to file a report that could bite him in the ass—because she could totally report him for trying to intimidate her—whatever it is that he was doing to her. Getting all up in her face, breathing on her, trying to suffocate her with his body scent, his pheromones. People could get arrested for trying to physically intimidate.

But he’s certainly not happy with her. She feels his eyes on her whenever she walks through the common room or the lobby where there’s a pool table, ping-pong, and a vending machine. Almost like he’s sulking.

God, he really is weird.

He’s nothing like his mom, Dr. Organa, the current president of the university. She’s so outgoing, a social butterfly, always planning events for the school and fundraisers, dances, galas, meeting students around campus and holding dinners—whatever university presidents do. Ben only hangs out with a couple of the other RAs—Armitage Hux and Gwendy Phasma.

Other than that, he’s alone, always reading under one of the trees outside the dorm or in the media room, stretched out on a couch with a book. He’s almost too big for the couches—he’s just so long, like his body could go on and on and never stop. Rey used to let herself admire the firm muscles of his legs, the taut curve of his ass and his black hair spilling down around his long pale face. Now she barely spares him a glance, silently fuming that he’s holding her and Poe’s misconduct over her head now. Like he’s abusing his powers as the RA.

About two weeks after the night he caught their drunken return to the residence hall, Rey and Rose are getting ready to go with Kaydel, Finn, Jess Pava and Poe to Rose’s older sister’s apartment—Rey knows she’s treading thin ice as it is, given what’s happened before, but she’s willing to take a chance. Besides, she’ll probably spend the night tonight with Rose at Paige Tico’s. So, she should be home free.

She pulls on some skin-tight jeans and an emerald-colored crop top that makes her eyes look more green than hazel tonight, lots of mascara, shimmery eyeshadow, and some lip-gloss. Rose gapes at her. “You could legit get any of the jocks on the football team,” she breathes in awe.

Rey wrinkles her nose but accepts the compliment. The flare of her hips is really defined by these clingy jeans, and the toned plane of her stomach can be seen if she stands with her shoulders back.

“C’mon, let’s go!” Rose checks her phone and apparently the others are downstairs waiting. They head to the stairwell but on the way down the echoey flights, they turn the corner and nearly collide with their RA. Rey’s immediately on edge, bristling, and she nearly bares her teeth at him.

Damn, he looks better than usual tonight. Tonight, his hair is pulled into a loose knot at the back of his head, dark tendrils shielding his protruding ears. He doesn’t smile at either of them, and Rey quickly looks away; she focuses on putting one foot in front of the other. She has no idea what it is about him, but he makes something in her chest ache. It’s insane.

As they hurry past and continue trotting downstairs, Rey hears him say, voice echoing on the walls of the stairwell, “I better not catch you again like last time. Won’t be so easy on you this time.”

Rey wonders if Rose heard that as well, but when they exit the stairwell, Rose nudges her urgently. “Man, he’s got it bad. He’s so freaking obvious about it.”

“What?” Rey asks blankly.

“Our RA. You’ve got him wrapped around your finger.”

A shiver races down Rey’s spine but she just shakes her head. “What the hell, Rose. You’re delusional.”

Rose gapes. “He totally looks at you with these big puppyish fuck-me eyes! He’d lick your feet if you asked him to.”

“We all agreed that he’s weird. And he’s an asshole.” Not that that’s stopped me from thinking about tugging his hair, or wrapping my legs around his waist…

“I mean, he’s definitely a freak. But still, freaks gotta get laid, I guess,” Rose shrugs.

A hot freak.

Rey scowls and Rose drops the subject. But Rey can’t get Ben’s burning brown eyes out of her head even when they’re all laughing and exulting about the party at Paige’s.