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What You Need, What You Want

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“I wonder what Simon would do if-”

“Darlin’,” he grunted, working his hips underneath her, “I don’t want to talk about the good doctor right now.”  He slid his hand in between them to touch her, the fleshy pad of his thumb rough with calluses and dragging against her just so.

She gasped, jerking forward, her thighs twitching, “No, I guess that’s not the done thing, is it?”  Kaylee rotated her hips over him, drawing him in deep as they both moaned.

His bunk was small, close and warm, and Kaylee had been here enough times that he kept a spare set of her sleepwear in his drawer.  She knew exactly where to grab at the wall when she rode him, knowing that some parts might explode and others were full of knives. Sometimes, at night, Jayne closed his eyes and thought of her holding Vera.  The mechanic was fierce little thing, and he wanted to see her violent and unhinged. Preferably with one of his guns held in her cute little hands.

The closest he got was when he refused to let her come.  When he dragged the head of his cock to almost rub against her g-spot, but stopped short every time.  He always saw her eyes flick to his closest stash of guns, and a part of him, larger than he would like to admit, fantasized about her orgasming while holding him at gunpoint.  Riding him with the barrel pressed under his chin. He’d never let her, of course, Kaylee was a terrible shot, but the fantasy was an old one that he could easily replay when he had alone time in his bunk.

Jayne got a glint in his eye as he watched Kaylee slowly roll her hips against him, her head falling back as she reached one hand up to thoughtfully palm her own breast.  She took her time, this one, and he had to admit he appreciated being able to enjoy the long lines of her torso, strong but soft, and he let his big hands come up to encircle her little waist.

“Would you want him to catch us?”  His voice was low, dark and rough. If she wanted a fantasy, he could talk her through it.  He wasn’t a poet by any means, but Kaylee liked his rough, dirty words when she was stuffed full of him.

Her eyes flew open and her hips stuttered against his for a second. “I-what?”

“The good doctor.”  He lifted her up a little, just enough to drag himself out and push back in, nice and slow.  Her eyes were dilating even further, and the hand on her breast pressed delicate fingertips into the soft flesh.

Her mouth opened a little and her eyes went hazy.

“You want him to see you like this, Kaylee?”  He let his eyes devour her, “You want him to watch you riding my cock?”  He worked himself in her, nice and slow, and she started working her hips in slow figure eights in time to his thrusts.  He slid one hand up her belly, to lay it between her full breasts, feeling her heartbeat through her sternum. It was racing, and it made him bite his lip.  She moaned a little and moved her hand over to lace her fingers with his. “Is that what you want?”

Kaylee gave a sharp nod, her beautiful brown eyes dark and hazy, her lips plump and red from her teeth biting them, and she whispered, “Yes.  Shiny. I want…” He flicked one nipple and she stuttered in her rhythm for a minute.

He growled and watched her throw her head back, “You want both of us at the same time, Kaylee?”  He thrust a little deeper. “I’ve never shared a woman, but I doubt the boy would know what to do with his dick if I wasn’t there to give a demonstration.”  He felt her start to flutter around him and she was losing control of her smooth movements.

“Yes,” she gasped, squeezing her eyes shut, “Yes, please, Jayne, don’t stop, don’t-” She was working her hips harder against him, grabbing his hand and forcing it between her legs.

“You’d be so pretty between me and him,” and that’s her undoing, Jayne’s husky voice pulling her through one orgasm to the start of the next as he slid his legs up for leverage and held in her in place while he went for his own orgasm.  She came around him again with a wail while he pounding up into her, so fast there was barely any friction at all, and when he came he pulled her down for a fierce, sloppy kiss while she gently rotated her hips over him as his thrusts stuttered and he bottomed out, gasping as Kaylee pressed open mouth kisses to his jaw as he came in a handful of powerful spurts.  They panted quietly against each other for a handful of heartbeats.

She looked up at him with her wide, curious eyes, “I wonder what Simon WOULD do-”

He rolled his eyes and pulled her face into his bare chest, his firm pectorals absorbing the last of her sentence.  “NOW I don’t wanna talk about the good doc, ruin the afterglow. Let’s just… cuddle.” He wrinkled his nose at the fluffy term, but Kaylee smiled.

She wiggled off of him and automatically reached down for the condom, pulling it off his cock carefully and tying it in a knot, tossing it into his small garbage can.  She’d gotten him to cuddle shortly after they started having their little… stress relieving sessions, mostly by simply falling asleep after her orgasm in his tiny little cot, and he’d found the idea of her soft parts all pressed up against him for another hour or two not… not terrible.  Sometimes he even got himself a second round out of it.

He wrapped one large arm around her and let out a deep breath.

 


 

 Kaylee came to Jayne when at least one of three things had happened.  One, she’d almost died. Two, he’d almost died. Three, Mal bought her new engine parts.

Shiny metal and the smell of engine oil really just made her slippery between her thighs.  He was more than willing to help her… clean up the mess.

He would wait in his bunk, dozing, and she would slip down when the rest of the crew had gone to bed.  Sometimes she’d be in her dirty coveralls, which he really liked, and sometimes she’d be naked, which he liked even more.

She was getting starstruck with the doctor, though, and in the time after his little dirty fantasy walk though, she started coming to him a little less.  Their sessions had gotten more intense, the cuddle time a little shorter, and his eye started to stray a little more when they were on world. He’d promised himself that none of the comfort women when he was sleeping with Kaylee, though, he’d have to end it if he wanted tail on world.  Most of those birds were clean, but Kaylee was… he couldn’t risk her. She was so uninhibited, so receptive to his attention and pleasure, but he also knew she’d make a wonderful forever woman for some lucky bastard one day.

Not Jayne, though.  Jayne wasn’t forever material.  In his line of work, it wouldn’t be fair to leave a missus with little Cobb mouths to feed and no income from his worthless hide.  He’d content himself with sending money back to Ma to use for his brothers and sisters, some of whom had given her nieces and nephews that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to meet.

So after the incident with the catalyzer, and Kaylee sitting so despondently in Inara’s shuttle, he was honestly surprised when she didn’t come to his bunk.  Mal was fine, they’d seen him in the hospital, and Jayne was… he was itching to hold her, and it made him uncomfortable.

After an hour, he wasn’t closer to sleep and it was more obvious she wasn’t comin’.  He pulled on a worn shirt and went to go work out.

If he took a long path around the ship, taking him past the infirmary, then he was simply making rounds.  He’d make it to his final destination, eventually.

What he didn’t expect to see was Simon and Kaylee with their heads bowed together, just outside of the doors, their forms outlined by soft blue light.  They were… oh. That was why she hadn’t come to his bunk.

He padded away silently, his mind whirring with the implications.  He wasn’t jealous, not exactly, but he was feeling off kilter. He’d expected her, he realized suddenly, and he grew cold at the thought.  They were supposed to just be crewmates with benefits. Simon, if he could find the stones, would give Kaylee the life she deserved.  He’d be able to provide for her long after Jayne was dead in a shallow, unmarked grave on a backwater planet somewhere.

She didn’t come to his bunk that night, or any night after that for a long, long time.

 


 

“Goin’ on a year I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers that ain’t run on batteries!” Kaylee practically yelled.

That was the biggest lie Jayne had ever heard, and he couldn’t help the way his eyebrow almost shot off his forehead.

“Oh GOD, I can’t know that!” Mal exclaimed, looking physically ill.

“I could stand to hear a little more,” Jayne said sarcastically, and he saw the delicate muscles on her back all tense up for a minute.  He stopped paying attention to the rest of the conversation, completely put out.

He’d been between her thighs dozens of times in the last year, and last time he checked his parts were far superior to anything she could conjure up that was run on batteries.  He slammed down another shot and tried to pay attention to whatever Fanty or Mingo was saying.

And then, Miranda.

 


 

Jayne wasn’t really afraid of death, he’d known there was a bullet for him somewhere in the ‘verse, and it would find him before too long.

He’d never pictured, even for a moment, that the bullet might actually be the rock solid fist of a seventeen year old crazy girl.  He’d barely thought he needed to defend himself, and his pride took the biggest hit. He retreated, sullenly, to his bunk, keeping his cold pack on his bruises.  In retrospect, he was actually a little surprised with her restraint. Given the insane amount of training shoved into her, she probably could have snapped his neck in a heartbeat.

It still stung his manhood, though.

Jayne’s personal form of meditation was cleaning his weapons.  Always clean, always sharp, always ready to go. He started to take down his knives, inspect them for nicks and give them a good oiling.

He absolutely did not expect Kaylee to softly slide down his ladder.  He raised his eyebrow, an old fashioned KA-Bar in one hand and a soft rag in the other, and sneered, “Run out of batteries?”

At her wince, he tossed down his oiling cloth and set the knife on top of it.  She wrapped her arms around herself and opened her soft mouth, “I…”

“Why are you here?  Isn’t there a frightened doctor out there for you to coddle?”  He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands under his chin.  His face was completely blank, but his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, and he knew his eyes were dark.

Kaylee shot him a disgusted look and dropped her shy act immediately, “Jayne Cobb, that’s a cruel thing to say.”  She put her little hands on her hips and he slid his small table against the wall, making sure the knife didn’t fall in the process.

She glared at him as he unfurled to his full height and stepped into her personal space.  His shirt was clingy and he saw her eyes flick to his pecs and then his biceps. He rolled his shoulders and looked down at her, a little package of righteousness in some dirty coveralls, and let his eyes rove over her.

“Why,” his voice was husky and deep, “are you here?”

She cleared her throat and met his gaze squarely.  Inwardly, he smirked. Kaylee was a lot of things, but she wasn’t a coward.  “I know… I know we agreed not to tell anyone, about us. About our… arrangement.  That’s… that’s why I said what I said.” She averted her eyes, “You never know when our time is gonna run out, and I don’t want no bad blood between us.”

He was a little stunned.  He’d never, ever, imagined she would apologize.  He took a step back, giving her space. “I… course not, Kaylee.  I was little put out, is all, especially at the thought of you enjoying something with batteries better than me.”  He gave a leer, trying to break the tension, and she smiled through the curtain of hair that crossed her face.

“As if I could build something better than you,” she said softly, blushing.  Her face went soft, then, and Jayne’s throat went dry, “It was wrong of me to leave without properly ending things.  I… we had fun, Jayne, and that’s what that was, but Simon and I… I think we’re coming to an understanding.” She smiled despite herself, and he found himself smiling in return.

“Good for you,” he said softly, “You deserve it, Kaylee.”  He was surprised to find that he meant it. Kaylee deserved a happy life on a quiet moon, surrounded by family and people who loved her.

He leaned down and softly kissed her cheek, but then she tilted her head and before he knew it, their lips were locked and she was plying him with the sweetest kiss he’d ever known.  He opened when she tilted her head, her lips a little chapped and dry but so were his, and he stopped thinking about anything as soon as her tongue entered his mouth.

He’d never kissed a woman on the mouth until the fourth time Kaylee had snuck her way into his bunk.  She’d leaned up and he’d pressed his mouth to hers instinctively. It had been so much better than he’d expected, and he’d tried to get at least one good kiss each time they’d coupled since.

She was on her tiptoes and he was hunched over, but then she was walking them back toward his cot.  He sat abruptly when the backs of his knees ran into the edge of his bed and she wasted no time in straddling his lap.  He slid his large hands up her thighs until they came to rest on her hips, the tips of his fingers digging into her firm ass.  He ripped his mouth away from hers, breathing heavily. His eyes flicked over her face, her rouged cheeks and swollen mouth, eyes heavy lidded and pupils blown to hell, “I thought you had an ‘understanding’?”

She smiled a little, “We don’t, not just yet, but I’m hopin’.”  She ran one hand down the front of his chest, and then, softly, “I… I… I’m not…”

He rubbed small circles on her hipbones through her thick coveralls with his thumbs.  “He’s what you want, but right now, I’m what you need.”

She nodded after a heartbeat of hesitation, and he tilted his head.  “I’m not in the habit of having another man’s woman, Kaylee Frye.” He studied her face.  She’d always worn her heart on her sleeve, and right now she was terribly conflicted. If it was anyone else, he’d just toss them out, but he cared about Kaylee.  As a lover and a friend, she was too pure for most worlds. His own home planet would have chewed her up and spit her own time after time again.

He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall.  He moved his arms up to the safer space of her upper back and crushed her into a hug.  He willed his erection to go away, muttering, “What’s wrong, Kaylee?”

She mumbled something against his chest, and he released her from the cage of his arms.  “What?”

She turned her face to the side and let her weight press into him, “I said, I don’t know what I’m doin’ wrong.  I’m not so classy as him, I think he has some kind of… I don’t know how to get an understanding out of him.  It’s like we come from two different worlds.”  She sniffed a little and fisted her hands in the worn cotton of his shirt.

He chuckled, “That’s because you do come from two different worlds, Kaylee.  Now, I can’t really help with this problem, my usual type of understanding is counted in hours and coin, but you’re a sweet girl.  The doc is stuffy as hell and too educated by half, maybe the problem is just a miscommunication.”

She hummed against him, plucking a loose thread at his sleeve.  He patted her back, “If we did this now, you’d hate yourself for it.  You love him, Kaylee Frye, and I won’t let you make that kind of mistake.  Maybe you should talk to Inara or Zoe. This is woman’s problem if I’ve heard one.”

She thanked him softly and gave him one more peck on the lips, soft and sweet and the last time he would kiss a woman on the mouth.

She left his bunk for the last time, and he knew she’d never return.

 


 

After the Reavers, after The Operative, after the death of Wash, Jayne sat in his bunk in the half destroyed Serenity, head in his hands and wishing for a woman.  Any woman but Kaylee, who he was pretty sure was entwined with Simon in the engine room. He’d seen them sneak off and had been fiercely proud of her for a moment and shoved any hint of sadness to the back of his mind.

He’d caught her in the hallway just after they’d all gotten back to the ship, and he’d quietly grabbed her sleeve and caught her in a hug so tight he was sure she was going to complain.  She just wrapped her arms around him and held back back.

“I’m doing it tonight,” she’d said against his chest.

“Good,” he whispered against her hair, “good for you, Kaylee Frye.”

They stood like that for another minute, and then released each other simultaneously.  He ruffled her hair and she smacked him on the bicep. They gave companionable smiles and parted ways.

He sat quietly for another minute, his leg starting to shake, before he stood abruptly and ripped all of his curtains off the walls.  Not many weapons were left, he’d grabbed almost everything, but he started pulling all of it down and doing an inventory.

He’d find the first woman who’d take his coin on the next planet they landed on.