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I don't care much

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"I don’t care much for you,” she says and blows out some smoke. She’s lithe and blonde and the last girl was a redhead. He thinks. They begin to blur after a while.

“No?” Stone asks and kisses her shoulder.

“No. You’re good in bed, and your body is stunning, but I don’t do the whole punishing thing”.

“I don’t want that.”

“Don’t you? Do you even want a woman?” she asks and Stone frowns.

“I see you around all the time,” she continues. “Maybe try a new scene.”

He laughs but the seed is sown, the idea has taken root.

 

 

*

Then he dresses in fucking leather and goes to a gay bar. He doesn’t have to wait long for a man to come along. Stone goes to some alley with him, and lets him have a ride. The guy smells like sweat and come and Stone feels perfectly awful and yet wonderful.

So he does it again with someone else.

 

*

 

It’s his rotten luck to see a friend at his new favorite haunt. Carisi. Fucking Carisi is there and he sees him. “Stone” he says. “What are you doing here?”

“The same as you,” he huffs.

He doesn’t want to do this with a friend, or be found out.

“I’m only here every other Tuesday,” says Carisi.

“Sure.”

“I am. Helps me with my issues. You?”

“I don’t know.”

“I need to find someone you know. See you,” Stone says and saunters off as Carisi watches him with confused eyes.