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The 140 Character Doctor Visit

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Few things demand more love than 2 AM feedings.

I’m always tempted to call my mum and apologize for all the loss of sleep I caused her.

I don’t think I’ve slept more than four hours at a time in months. I can navigate the whole flat with my eyes closed.

And carry a baby, tweet, and heat formula simultaneously.

E Machine’s really stubborn when it comes to burping. I need to have Dave talk to him about that.

I fell asleep next to the cot. I always fall asleep next to the cot. #SoTired

Bed. Bed better than floor.

What is that beautiful smell?


This is why I married him.

Martin brought me coffee and then very frankly reminded me that I haven’t showered in two days. #WhoSaysRomanceIsDead

The sheer luxury of a hot shower is making me seriously question the rest of my life.

I’m trying to achieve E Machine’s adorable “just rolled out of bed” look. Thoughts?

.@manof1000fruits I’m not big on matching outfits. Besides my yellow monkey onesie is in the wash.

Martin says no selfies before breakfast. You can tell he doesn’t follow me.

Bottles are always aeroplanes in this family.

We have the distinct (dis)pleasure of taking E Man to the doctor today for his second round of shots.

I’m not looking forward to any part of it. The only upside is that Martin’s taken the day off because of it.

Thanks to his grandmas and aunts Model E is never without smart fashionable clothes.

Exhibit A:

The baby aviators were my contribution. #LikeFatherLikeSon

I could walk to the doctor’s office in less time than it’ll take Martin to drive there.

Martin wants a redaction of my last tweet but we are literally being passed by a family of ducks so tweet stands.

Martin wants a redaction of my last tweet.

It’s a family of geese. #IsThatBetter

E Machine’s already very good at the game #Car. Eventually we’ll narrow it down to #YellowCar.

I’m not looking forward to any part of this.

I don’t care how cheery the scenes on the walls are or how many toys you fill the room with: it’s still a doctor’s office.

E Machine seems apprehensive and rightfully so.

I’ll never understand why they print his full name on the intake form. His name is longer than the reason we’re here.

“Ethan Robert Isaac Crieff: immunizations.”

.@Drichardson Robert after Martin’s dad, Isaac after mine.

.@fittonfirephil No, my initial suggestion of Ethan of the House Crieff, First of His Name, Disrupter of Sleep was quickly shot down.

I heard the doctor sigh as he entered the room. He remembers us. Specifically Martin.

He should actually be commended for how patiently he answers all of Martin’s questions. He even looks at Martin’s charts.

There’s a lot numbers and percentiles being thrown around but basically E Machine’s healthy and developing at a good pace.

I hate this part.

We’ve been saving a brand new toy for this moment in hopes of distracting him from the pain. He is not amused. He will not be bought.


20 minutes, one bottle, and many hugs and kisses later, E Man’s stopped crying.

However the look of betrayal on his face is palpable and mainly directed at me since I was holding him.

We’re alone in the lift so Martin’s singing the aeroplane song. Nothing’s better at soothing a meltdown than Martin and the aeroplane song.

E Man’s not happy but he seems willing to keep us on as parents.

He’s starting to nod off. We’re just going to keep driving incredibly slowly until he falls asleep.



Why am I whispering when I tweet?

We managed to get Model E out of the car and into his cot without waking him. #HOW

Martin was going to do a load of laundry but I convinced him not to.

Model E’s asleep. The flat’s quiet. Martin’s warm. This is good.

Barely an hour of sleep and Model E’s done with his nap meaning we are too.

I think we’ve been forgiven.

Despite what he says Martin likes the aeroplane game and he loves that E Machine loves it. It’s guaranteed to make him giggle.

That little laugh is the greatest sound in the entire world.

Time for lunch.