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Your Love Gives Me Wings

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25 AUGUST 1944

"No Captain. Those are explicit orders. The men are to be captured alive for questioning."

Steve huffed out a breath, fighting his urge to scream and punch the General in front of him. He'd already explained over a thousand times that the men were not being killed by the Howling Commandos but were committing suicide. The general had turned a deaf ear and kept repeating the same thing over and over.

"Captured alive. Clear?"

In order to avoid a discharge and bleeding nose for the general, Steve smartly saluted and left the tent. He needed to blow off some much needed steam and the barracks were certainly not the place for it.

He walked towards his own tent, private and towards the back end of the barrack. It was hardly secluded but it did provide those few moments of necessary solidarity. It had everything that he loved and their presence calmed him down. His sketchbook, a photo of his ma, a small wooden cross his mom owned, a hardly - comfortable cot and his Bucky. His feisty, adoring, super hot and extremely caring boyfriend. 

The mere thought of falling into Bucky's arms and cuddling for dear life and sanity were making Steve's steps quicker and his heartbeats faster.

"Captain." Steve groaned internally. He really wasn't in a mood to hold a conversation with anyone, not even with Peggy Carter.

"Yes Miss Carter?" He turned around with a polite smile and questioning gaze. He may be irritated and slightly annoyed, but he knew how to respect others and not go off on them.

"Colonel Philip wants to discuss something with you."

"Good?"

"Don't think so. The general was in there with him for a long time. Couldn't possibly have a good outcome. Your team's there too. Some of them don't look too happy with what they overheard."

His team! And that included Bucky too. That meant Bucky wasn't waiting for Steve in the tent, with warm hugs, soothing words and gentle hands through his hair. Steve wanted to shout and scream. The day had been bad enough he didn't need to add salt to wound.

He quickly followed Peggy and walked towards the little gathering in the middle of the barrack. Colonel Philip stood there, along with the General and the howling commandos. Steve nodded politely at his comrades, immediately noticing Bucky's absence and saluted the colonel and general.

"Rogers, the General has come with military strategies and wants to discuss them with you and your team. I believe he's already underlined a few with you?"

Phrased like a question but hardly one. Colonel Philip looked just as done with the discussion as Steve. Steve nodded, acknowledging the colonel's words and prepared to follow them into one of the nearby buildings.

"I'm sorry Rogers. I couldn't get him off my back. "

Steve smiled at the colonel. Philip was a father figure to Steve, the closest to a father he ever had. The man saw people for what they were and didn't pledge loyalty to power and money. His loyalty lay with his country and with calibre and that earned him Steve's respect and that of all his subordinates.

The plans were soon laid down and strategies discussed, but Steve could hardly pay attention. His mind was trying to figure out where Bucky was and why he wasn't there to discuss this with the rest of them. If everyone else was there, how was Steve's second in command missing?

"Where's Bucky? "

Steve asked Gabe, not bothering to whisper or worrying about interrupting the general's monologue.

"The sergeant is packing his bags. He's to leave tomorrow? "

Steve looked dumbstruck. He didn't know how to react to that. Bucky was leaving? Where was he going?

"Is he being discharged? "

A foreboding of something wrong settled in the pit of Steve's heart. Was he being discharged? If so for what? Did they find out about their relationship? Was he being discharged for being homosexual? If so why wasn't he being kicked out?

Because you're Captain America.

His brain supplied uselessly.

"He's being transferred. You're team is strong enough, there are other units that need him. They could really use a sniper of his talent and calibre."

Steve gaped at the general. His heart not able to decide whether it wanted to soar in pride or plunge in grief. Proud of Bucky, his talented Bucky. He was being noticed for what he did, how accurate he was, how good at his job. But on the other hand, he'd just gotten Bucky back. What if he got captured again, what if he got killed because Steve wasn't there to watch his back? What if Steve lost him forever and couldn't even say goodbye?

He took a few deep breaths, giving his mind some time to think before replying in a loud, clear voice.

"His transfer should have  been discussed with me first. As the captain of his unit shouldn't the decision lie with me? I need the sergeant here and can't let him go."

He looked up defiantly at the general, his face the definition of 'don't fuck with me'. The general watched him for a few seconds before smiling, cruel and malicious.

"I'm sorry captain. But my orders are final and binding. Now unless you want to go back to dancing on stage in your patriotic spandex, I advise you listen. "

Steve's breathing became shallow, his brain fighting with his heart. One told him to let it go, to not create a fight over this but  the other wanted nothing more than to rip the general apart with his hands- separate his head from the rest of his body.

He looked at his teammates only to find their expectant gaze on him. They all wanted Bucky to stay, wanted him by their side. They hated to see him go just as much as Steve did. Bucky was Steve's strength, his conscience, his best friend, companion, his love and partner. To his team mates Bucky was a comrade, partner in crime, a friend, a soldier and their brother in arms. They both needed Bucky by their side, for strength and support; as family.

"I'm ready to head back on stage, General. And I won't be the only one either. "

He turned to look at his comrades again. They looked at him with pride and determination.

"We'll follow the captain."

Dumdum  roared and the cry was soon picked up by all. The small gathering were chanting cries of joining the captain wherever he went and it made Steve's heart sore. These men were ready to lose their jobs because Steve wanted Bucky by his side,  because they wanted Bucky by their side.

The general looked shocked beyond words at the proceedings. He angrily turned towards colonel Philip, who was trying very hard to hide the pleased grin on his face. Even he admired the strength of character Bucky possessed, was  proud to have known him.

"Control your men Philip. What are you doing?"

"Sorry sir but they only follow their captain's orders."

He shrugged, his words sounding unconvincing to Steve himself. He looked back at Steve and gave him a small nod, a silent signal to keep going.

"This whole unit will be discharged. You've protested direct orders and made a fool of a general. All of you will pay for it."

Steve matched the glare directed at him and simply shrugged. He wanted to serve his country, make his parents proud and win the war, but not without Bucky by his side. If staying in the army meant losing Bucky, then Steve would happily leave and fight the rest of his wars in the back alleys of Brooklyn.

"Good luck fighting Hydra without us, sir."

He watched, an amused grin on his face, as the general stumbled over profanities and explicits before turning around and walking out of the building, Colonel Philips at his tail. Steve breathed out a sigh of relief and turned around to thank his jubilant comrades.

"Thanks for the support guys. It means a lot."

Gabe came forward and gave Steve a friendly pat on his back, while Monty shook his hand vigorously.

"Gotta save your boyfriend's ass to make sure you save ours."

Dumdum remarked and then winked at Steve. Steve stood dumbfounded as the other men laughed around him. All of them knew and they weren't disgusted. They didn't want Steve or Bucky discharged nor were they reluctant to follow homosexuals into battle. They accepted their relationship without any reprimands and that made Steve infinitely happy.

In midst of war, Bucky and he had made the best of friends.

"You guys know?"

"Well it was hard to mistake the voices coming from your tent. Unless of course Agent Carter goes by the name Bucky in bed."

Monty sassed and it made Steve turn all shades of red. He mumbled out an apology and ran out the building, the sounds of laughter and wolf whistling getting silenced  as he neared his tent.

He walked in to see Bucky sitting cross legged on his cot, a photo of  Steve in his lap. He was discreetly wiping away tears and clutching a piece of paper tightly in his hands and holding it against his heart. Steve immediately recognised the sheet of paper, the first letter he wrote to Bucky after Bucky shipped out.

Steve hated seeing Bucky this distraught and upset. Bucky had always been the strong one, holding back his tears so Steve could cry, sleeping in the cold so Steve got the warmth, eating less so Steve wouldn't starve. He was Steve's angel but with the temperament of a demon when it came to a hurt Steve. God save anyone who hurts Steve.

"Hey Buck."

Bucky looked up at Steve and gave him a small smile. Steve walked over and sat down on the cot, letting his gaze wander over the packed bags placed on the other side of the tent.

"You going somewhere?"

Bucky looked at Steve, confusion and surprise written in the blue of his eyes. He motioned for Steve to come closer and ran his fingers across Steve's cheekbones.

"They didn't tell you?"

His voice is hoarse and hardly above a whisper. He's been crying for a long time and Steve curses himself for not being there for him.

He leans into Bucky's touch and closes his eyes.

"You're not going anywhere. You're staying here with me, looking out for my ass while we save the world and destroy the nazis."

"Sounds great baby. But the orders have come. I.."

Steve interrupts Bucky by placing his index finger over Bucky's lips and shushing him.

"You talk too much and hardly listen. The general's gone, your darling boyfriend sent him packing with some stern words."

He wiggled his eyebrows and puffed out his chest. Bucky watched him suspiciously and pulled him towards himself by a hand hooked to his collar.

"What'd you do Rogers?"

He kissed Steve slowly, one hand on his cheek and the other fisting the collar of his uniform.

"Told him that if you left so would I. Would follow you back to the stage in my spandex if I have to."

Steve whispered into Bucky's mouth, before surging back in for another kiss. He couldn't get enough, never would get enough of Bucky. Bucky chuckled when they parted and pulled Steve closer.

"What'd I do without you baby."

He pulled himself onto Bucky's lap and threw his arms around Bucky's neck, clinging onto him desperately as Bucky attacked his mouth and neck with tender kisses, little licks and brutal nips.

"I love you Stevie. Love you so much."

He whispered between soft butterfly kisses and wet hot kisses to Steve's collarbones. Steve was already floating away in his head - Bucky's hands on his body, heady smell in his nose, husky voice in his ear and the solid weight of Bucky under him - but he knew what to say, has known since he was sixteen.

"Love you too Buck. More than life itself."

And it's not a lie, nor is it an exaggeration. Steve loves Bucky more than his own life, would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat for Bucky. He doesn't know life without Bucky Barnes, doesn't want to know it either. Because they are together, in sickness and in health, in war and in peace, together till the end of the line.

~~~

25 AUGUST 2 018

Bucky sat on the couch with a book and a mug of coffee, his mind deep in the recesses of the book. Back in the dingy apartment of Brooklyn, the home he shared with his boyfriend in the 1940s, he had a huge collection of books: romance, mythology, fantasy, thriller, you name it and it was there.  Contrary to popular belief, he was the bookish nerd and not Steve.

He had just placed his mug back on the coffee table and was about to turn a page when Steve appeared out of nowhere and draped himself over Bucky, his legs straddling the brunette, arms around his waist and his head buried in the nook of Bucky's neck.

Bucky placed the book down and wrapped his arms around the blond. He gently rocked them side to side and rubbed little circles on Steve's back.

"You wanna talk about it baby?"

He could feel Steve relax at the touch, almost melt into his embrace at the nickname. He smiled to himself and continued rubbing the blonde's back when he stirred a little.

"Seven casualties Buck. Loss of property worth millions."

Steve's body shuddered in Bucky's arms as the blonde started crying. The sobs racked through Bucky's body, wrenching his heart and soul as he tried his best to put his boyfriend at ease.

"You tried your best Stevie. You're always doing your best. Somethings are not in our control, we can't lose hope because of them."

Steve sat up on Bucky's lap and looked him straight in the eye. The blonde's eyes were red, tear tracks on his face and a lost look in his eye.

"Maybe my best isn't good enough. Maybe I'm a just another guy from Brooklyn after all Buck. Nothing special."

He couldn't finish the sentence before tears steamed down his cheeks. Bucky wiped them away and cupped Steve's face in his hands.

"You're that guy from Brooklyn  and that's what makes you special. You didn't do any of this because you had to, you did because you wanted to. You are ready to sacrifice your life so that the people can have the freedom they deserve, you let nightmares haunt your sleep so the people can sleep peacefully, you let others hurt you so that the people never know pain. You are a hero to me, you've saved me time and again, and I want you to always remember that."

Steve gave Bucky a small smile and lay his head on Bucky's chest. He wrapped his arms around Bucky and took a shuddering breath. Bucky knew that there was something more, something that weighed heavily on Steve's mind. He waited patiently and soon enough got want he wanted.

"I'm tired of being Captain America, tired of living upto the legend of Steve Rogers. It was so much easier to just be the boy who got beat up in alleyways and had to come home in bandages. It had been much easier being the captain in the army, shoot whoever is shooting at you, no reprimands and no repercussions. But this, whatever I'm today, is hard. They've taken me from being a soldier to being a symbol of the nation. And thats a lot of expectations to live upto.  Between Nick's 'Rogers', Tony's 'cap', and Ross' 'captain', I've lost myself Buck, I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not a soldier, but still in the midst of war. I don't want this anymore, I want to go back to Brooklyn, our home and start again. Become what we were, just you and I. Just wanna be your Stevie, nothing less."

He could feel Steve's tears soak through his shirt and splash across his chest, right over his heart. Could feel his own tears escape his eyes and wet the top of Steve's head. They were both men out of their time, robbed of their deaths and made to live over and over again like a cruel joke. They'd seen friends, colleagues and lovers die. They'd buried their families long back with hope in their hearts to join them soon. This wasn't what they'd believed their choices would lead them to, but running from their destiny was never the way out. They'd handle this just like everything else, together. 

"You'll always be my Stevie, nobody can take that away from us. Don't be hard on yourself, you've been exemplary baby. Holding on and being so strong against all odds, fighting back against those bullies. But you don't have to anymore, let me carry some of that load for you. Let me protect you the way you've always protected me. Let me love you and take care of you Stevie. Just for this once let me fight your battles for you."

Steve nodded slowly before whispering something into Bucky's shirt. He could feel the chill it cast over his chest but couldn't catch the words.

"Would you repeat that for me baby?"

"Make it stop Buck. All the noises in my head, the constant buzzing. I don't wanna hear it. Just wanna hear you, feel you. Make everything else stop and please just make me yours. Only yours."

They'd done it before, during the war. It was when Steve couldn't sleep at night, his nightmares ringing in his ears like bullets and bombs, the cries of the innocent hammering in his chest. Bucky would take care of him then, take him out of his head into a land of white hot pleasure and contentment. Take him high up, above the rest of the world where no one could touch his baby, trouble his sleep and wreck his dreams.

He looked down at Steve, clinging to Bucky's shirt like it was a lifeline. He gripped Steve's thighs in his arms and got up from the couch, Steve's legs immediately wrapping around his waist.

It was a lifeline for both of them, the last thread, to hold onto for love.

Bucky carried Steve over to their bedroom and gently placed the blonde on the bed. Steve reluctantly unhooked his legs and lay back down on the bed. He shuffled backwards,making space  for Bucky and spread his legs, all the while biting his lips and looking at Bucky from under his lashes. Bucky grunted, the submissive look on his  face tugging at his heart and dick and crawled up the bed, settling between Steve's legs.

He loomed over Steve, large and predatory, his body caging Steve under it. He leaned down and brushed his lips over his boyfriend's. He shifted slightly and pressed his lips to Steve's, more insistent and passionately. Steve groaned into the kiss, parted his lips every now and then, but Bucky refused to be hurried. He kept the kiss chaste, a mere press of lips on lips, while his hands rested on either side of Steve's head.

When they parted for breath Bucky let his gaze run over Steve's face. The blonde's cheeks were flushed red and his baby blue eyes swallowed by black. His plump lips were parted as he panted, slightly out of breath.

"Look so pretty like this Stevie. So beautiful."

He leaned down for another kiss, longer and more passionate, had to when Steve looked at him like that, all pure and submissive. He ran his tongue over Steve's lips, tasting them and committing the taste to memory, mesmerised by the way Steve's lips fell open immediately granting him entry. His tongue mingled with Steve's, a dance perfected over years, tasted his baby's need, the lust that burned under their skin.

He runs it over his teeth, the top of his mouth and flicks it against Steve's tongue. He knows Steve's already starting to slip into his submission, never takes much for him, and he needs to take care of his baby. He pulls back, his chest constricting when the action pulls a whine from Steve. He hushes him and presses a kiss to his forehead.

"I'll be back in a minute. Take off these clothes and be a good boy for me. I'll be right back, okay?"

He waits for Steve to nod before he climbs off the bed and makes his way to the kitchen. He grabs a glass of water and a chocolate bar from the counter. He looks around for the protein bar he keeps hidden but realises soon enough that it probably was what Steve had for breakfast.

He made his way back to the bedroom, stopping only to pick up a banana from the dining table, and closed the bedroom door behind him.

The sight that welcomed him almost made his knees buckle. Steve was lying on the bed, naked as the day he was born, pale skin vibrant on the black sheets and a halo of golden hair. Bucky inhaled sharply, alerting Steve to his presence, and ran his gaze over his boyfriend's body.

Even before the serum, Steve's body was beautiful. Pale skin stretching over jutting bones, the sharp angles of his face and elbows, pink lips and baby blue eyes, all combining to drive Bucky insane. Steve would often hide in those days, under blankets, oversized t-shirts and jumpers, complaining about his boyish body. But to Bucky, it did wonders. Just the sight of Steve in his undershirt was enough for Bucky to pin Steve against the nearest surface and kiss him stupid. But after the serum, Steve's body is a wonder. The soft, pale skin remains but hiding under it are planes of muscle. Steve's changed but Bucky hasn't, the sight of Steve in a undershirt still gets him pinned to the nearest surface and (thanks to the serum) fucked against it.

Steve blushed under Bucky's gaze, fidgeted slightly but didn't move. He waited patiently for Bucky to come nearer, knowing that Bucky couldn't keep away for long, while revelling in being the centre of Bucky's attention. Bucky walked up to the bedside table and placed the glass of water down.

"Sit up for me Stevie."

Steve sat up against the headboard and smiled at the things in Bucky's hands.

"You're an actual mama bear. Next thing you know, you'll be patting my back and sending me off to school."

"Just taking care of you darling. Now come on eat up."

He ate the banana, then the chocolate and drank the glass of water before lying back down. Bucky straddled the blonde and kissed him again.

He moved from his mouth to his jawline, nipping and biting, marking him as his own, before moving to his earlobe and tugging lightly. Steve moaned at the sensation, his body lifting ever so slightly. Bucky placed his metal arm on the blonde's hips,holding him in place and stilling him, before moving his lips down his neck to his clavicle.

Steve moaned at every lick and kiss Bucky peppered on his skin, groaned at every bite. Every sound he made served its purpose, Bucky continued his ministrations with more vigor and passion, marking and claiming Steve like a man possessed.

He moved down Steve's body, tracking kisses down his breastbone and collarbones before latching onto his erect nipple. Steve's nipples were sensitive and Bucky planned on exploiting that. He bit down on the right, while his metal arm gently pinched the left. Steve screamed at the sensation, his hips flying off the mattress as his back arched. His skin broke out in a mess of goosebumps and sweat as he sobbed through a litter of profanities, encouragements and sighs.

Bucky let's go of the nipple, places one last kiss on it and moves to the other to give it the same treatment. He can feel Steve's body shaking under his, the blonde's erection poking into his thigh, but he waits. He knows Steve inside and out, what he can take and he can't. He leaves the nipple and sits up straight on Steve's hips.

"Are you sure you want this?"

Steve nods and gives Bucky a beautiful smile, a smile that lights up his heart and day. He moves down Steve's body, and kneels between his legs.

He lifts his head and looks at Steve. He's a sight to behold, his eyes glazed over but gaze expectant as he watches Bucky.

Bucky placed a kiss on the tip of Steve's flushed erection and watched as Steve's eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. He used his hands to further spread Steve's legs and placed another kiss to the tip, pausing slightly to suck it into his mouth. Steve moaned, loud and clear and tired to clamp his legs together but Bucky held him down with his hands. 

"Do you remember your colours baby?"

"Green Buck. Green. Please..."

Steve's voice was absolutely wrecked, and from hardly anything. Bucky used his right hand to steady the blonde's erection and began sucking on the tip. He altered between sucking and tonguing the slit, but didn't slide down any further.

Above him Steve was a mess, his mouth spewing all kinds of nonsense. His hands flew up to grab the headboard, but eventually settled in Bucky's head, his fingernails scratching the brunette's scalp lovingly. It was only when a sob escaped Steve's mouth that Bucky decided to quit teasing.

He swallowed around the blonde, tightened his throat, and sank down further on his cock. He could feel his eyes prick, and the uncomfortable burn in his jaw but nothing could deter him from doing what Steve wanted.

He bobbed his head, tongued the slit, massaged the blonde's balls with his hand and soon enough Steve's moans grew louder, his abs tightened and he was coming into Bucky's mouth. The brunette sat up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, before crawling up and kissing Steve, sliding his tongue into his mouth so that he could taste himself. Steve moaned at the realisation, his legs coming up to wrap around Bucky's hips as he bucked his hips to rut against Bucky, not satiated by one orgasm.

"Turn over baby and spread your legs."

Steve immediately did as told, lying on his stomach and spreading his legs as far apart as he could. Bucky settled in between his legs and gently pulled Steve's hips backwards till he was resting on forearms, his ass in the air.

The brunette leaned over him and started kissing the area between his shoulder blades, his grip tight on Steve's hips. He placed feather light kisses to his shoulder blades, before planting hot, wet kisses to the knobs of his spine, making Steve sigh at every kiss, every touch. He kissed down the plane of Steve's back, pausing every now and then to mark the pale skin, before continuing down his path.

When he finally reached the crown of Steve's ass, he paused and let his breath fan over the area, causing little goosebumps to break over the skin. He could hear Steve's little pants, more from anticipation than from exertion, as he waited for Bucky to make a move.

Bucky grabbed the globules of Steve's ass, parted them and ran his tongue from his tailbone to the perineum. The sensation pulled a pained moan from the blonde under him, who's elbows buckled and he slumped down on the bed. Bucky didn't move to pull Steve up, but he tightened his grip on the blonde's hips and dove back between his cheeks again.

He ran his tongue over Steve's hole, again and again, not moving to breach it but just getting it wet enough. He knew how much Steve liked getting rimmed, he got off so good to it, and therefore wanted to drag it out.

A light sheen on sweat appeared on Steve's back, as the air around them grew heavier with the smell of their virality and sweat, Steve's whimpered moans and pants the only noise around them. Bucky ran his hand down Steve's back, the coil metal sending chills down the blonde's back, as he pushed his tongue against the tight ring of muscle, breaching it.

Steve screamed at the sensation, arched his back and pushed his ass put for more. Bucky expected the reaction, quickly stilling Steve's body with the hand pressed to his back, as he continued giving kitten licks and bites around the sensitive region. After a while Steve stilled, just little whimpers leaving his mouth, as Bucky continued to eat him out in earnest.

He breached the ring again, licking into the velvety walls on the inside, as he chased the pure taste of Steve. Steve cried out, but didn't move, a sign to Bucky that the blonde was close again. He massaged the blonde's ass with his hands while his tongue pulled out a little before thrusting back in.

He reached around the blonde's waist and wrapped his hands around the his cock, hardly surprised that the blonde was already hard and leaking precum.

He tightened his grip on Steve, as his tongue worked deeper into the blonde's ass. The brunette's tongue thrusted into Steve at a punishing pace while his hands jerked him off at the same rythem. Steve screamed as his hole clenched around Bucky every now and then, a little sensitive after his first orgasm and Bucky's relentless assault. Bucky knows the moment he gets up in that head space of his, when his moans grow quieter,whimpers are more frequent and he becomes putty in his hands. Steve's still a long way from that, the serum providing him with a non-existent refractory period and horse like stamina, but it's not a long shot to say that Steve's already shut out the voices he was complaining about. He's here with Bucky, but already far away from everybody else, everything else. He's only Bucky's in this moment.

"Mine, you're mine. Aren't you Stevie? Just my baby?"

Steve answered with a choked sob, his body shuddering as he orgasms for the second time, just as intense. He slumps against the bed, as Bucky moves towards the bedside table to recover the lube.

He wiped his hands on the sheet and turns Steve over to face him. His body is flushed a deep red, eyes closed and his pink, plump lips are parted as he tries to breathe. Bucky leaned down and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth and forehead, smiled when Steve opened his eyes to look at him, smiling so fondly at Bucky like that's all that makes him happy.

"You liked that?"

Steve nods, too shy and tired to voice his words than anything else, but Bucky needs him to speak, communicate so that he doesn't end up hurting him.

"I need you to speak baby. Colour?".

"Green."

Steve answers immediately and pulls Bucky in for a kiss. Bucky leans down but doesn't let their lips touch, instead placeds his hands on Steve's chest and kisses his cheek.

"My mouth has been in...you don't want to kiss me now."

Steve gives Bucky a bitch face and pulls him down, forcefully shoving his tongue into Bucky's mouth. Bucky moans at the idea of Steve tasting himself on Bucky's tongue and flicks his tongue against Steve's, massaging it and eliciting little whimpers from Steve.

His hands fumbled around the bed till they found the bottle of lube lying beside Steve's legs. He pops open the cap and generously coats his vibranium fingers, knowing how much Steve likes the thick, unrelenting metal.

He kisses Steve with increasing fervour while maneuvering their bodies so he's lying on top of Steve, perfectly placed between his spread legs. He reaches down and gently massages Steve's hole with his fingers, letting the blonde get used to the cold fingers. Steve sighs against his mouth and immediately bents his legs at the knees and plants his feet on the bed, making it easier for Bucky to prod at his hole.

Bucky pushes one finger in slowly, not stopping till he's knuckle deep. He breaks the kiss and lifts his head to watch Steve, who's mouth is open in a silent moan and who has sweat trickling down his forehead. Bucky wiped away the sweat and placed his forehead on the blonde's, before pulling his finger back and thrusting in till it's fully seated in Steve's hole.

Steve whimpers at the sensation and clenches down on Bucky's finger but Bucky doesn't stop. He continues thrusting at a leisurely pace till Steve gets used to the intrusion. Soon Steve's pushing back, fucking himself on Bucky's finger with every roll of his hips.

Bucky pulls out his fingers and adds another one. Steve doesn't wait for Bucky to move before he's rolling his hips, taking Bucky's fingers as deep as he can. He pushes his hips down, fucking himself on Bucky's fingers at a fast pace till Bucky stops him with a hand on his hip.

"Don't move."

The command behind the gentle voice is not lost on Steve as he pauses immediately. Bucky rewards him with a kiss before thrusting his fingers in and out of Steve at the same pace Steve had set. He can feel the velvety walls and the clenching around his fingers, but nothing more. He crooks his fingers and pulls them them real slow, trying to find the bundle of nerves that makes Steve sob in pleasure.

Steve screams, clenches down and Bucky knows he's found it. He pushes in a third fingers and starts a brutal assault on Steve's prostate, nailing it with every thrust and pull, never once pausing or slowing down. He can see Steve's cock, already hard and leaking precum onto his sweat covered stomach. He swipes a finger through it and holds his finger out to Steve, who immediately wraps his lips around it and starts sucking.

Steve looks like a wet dream in that instant. Body sweat and cum stained, hair a mess, eyes closed shut in pleasure, body clenching around Bucky's fingers and pink kiss swollen lips sucking on Bucky's fingers. Bucky grunts at the sight, his pants impossibly tight around him. He wants to fuck Steve now, mark him in a way no one else has, no one else will. He wants to ruin Steve, ruin him for everyone else. He's always been a  possessive bastard, whether it was about letting his sister date, or his friends go dancing; but with Steve the possessiveness borders on maniacal.

He hates anyone who so much as looks at Steve, talks to him or even breathes in his direction. And touching Steve! Even if it's just a handshake, it's unbearable to him. It's gotten him into some trouble with the avengers (read: Sam has a broken nose) but it is what it is. Steve's his and only his.

He knows Steve's close, can see it in the way he's clutching tightly to Bucky's shoulder, how desperately he's kissing him and in how his body is shaking. He leaned down to suck Steve's nipple into his mouth and bit down on the nipple. Above him he can hear Steve's pained shout, the line between pain and pleasure ebbing  and becoming one and the same. He bites again and whispers against Steve's skin, an order Steve always follows,

"Come for me Stevie. Let me see you darling. Come now."

He accentuates the order with another bite that has Steve screaming as he comes between their bodies again. His mouth falls open, chest heaving as his body shudders from the aftershocks of his third orgasm. His eyes are closed and Bucky can tell he's up in the sky, floating on the clouds.

It's just intense pleasure now. The world has shut down around Steve, as he basks in the afterglow. Bucky has to look away for a second, remind himself that he's the only one who gets to see Steve like that and that must be because he's done something right in his life. Steve's an angel and if he loves Bucky so much, then it's probably because Bucky is not a monster, maybe he deserves it or maybe it's pity on Steve's side.

He kisses Steve's open mouth, sucking on his tongue and his lips, desperately but just as lovingly. Steve kisses back but it's uncoordinated, more of a muscle memory than a voluntary reaction. He looks up at Steve again and sees the bliss on his face, the serenity of his expression while he lines himself up with Steve's hole. Pauses to suck a bruise onto Steve's clavicle before pushing in and breaching the tight ring of muscle.

Steve clenches around him and whines, his body sensitive but just as responsive  as  ever. Bucky gently soothes him, whispers sweet nothings into his ear and kisses his forehead.
Steve relents after a while, goes pliant and boneless as Bucky thrusts in and seats himself fully in Steve.

The blonde is wet and hot around Bucky, as tight as ever and feels so good. He has to take a minute to catch his breath at the euphoric feeling of being so intimately connected with his love. The air around them is hot and heavy with the smell of sweat, sex and virality as Bucky's insides burn with lust, love and possessiveness.

He wants to burn this image into his memory, Steve high above among the clouds, lost in throngs of pleasure, his body flushed and sweat slicked and his insides periodically clenching around Bucky. Considering the things Bucky has done in this life, both intentionally and unintentionally, he doesn't think he's cut out for heaven, but if he could choose a heaven for himself it would be his Stevie.

Just his Stevie and he, a house in the mountains, together till the end of the line.

Bucky gives a shallow thrust, watching Steve's face for any signs of pain or discomfort, but finds none. He pushes himself up on his elbows and picks up his pace, thrusting into Steve fast and hard. The need to get off runs like a drug in his vein, almost blinding him and tempting him to fuck into his lover with abandon and to use him as a means to his end, but the need and want to take care of Steve, to treat him like a king, the love that he harbours for him, they are his inhibitors. Steve's not a means to Bucky's pleasure, it's positively the other way around.

Bucky rotates his hips, trying to find the blonde's prostate, and smiles in glee when his boyfriend clenches around him. He pulls back, before angling himself and thrusting back, hitting Steve's prostate dead on. He mewls, his body lifting ever so slightly off the bed, and it's the sweetest thing Bucky's ever heard. He wants more of those noises, needs them like a man starved.

He thrusts harder, faster, all the while keeping his eyes trained on his lover's face. He watches as Steve's pretty mouth opens and closes around every mewl, whimper and moan. Watches the way his forehead creases every now and then, the sinful fluttering of his eyelashes. He runs his hands down the sides of Steve's body, over his ribs, along the hard planes of his abdomen and the soft muscle of his pecs. Has to bend down and suck hickies onto the jutting collarbones before him, place a wet kiss on the bobbing adams apple.

His continued assault on Steve's prostate soon has the blonde hardening painfully, a few sobs leaving his mouth as another orgasm builds up in his lower belly. Drunk off the reaction from Steve, Bucky pushes for more, wraps his arms around the blonde's erection and pumps him in time with his thrusts. Steve sobs, his body too sensitive, every touch lighting up his insides. Bucky kisses away the few tears that escape but doesn't let Steve go.

"Let go Stevie. One more time."

Steve opens his eyes and peers at Bucky. His eyes are glazed over, attentive in a detached sort of way. In that moment all he sees is Bucky, his vision tunneling and blocking everything else around them. Bucky moans, the look in Steve's eyes too strong to look into, but too captivating to look away.

The noise he makes sends Steve over, the blonde coming in between them again, coating both of them in his release. He sobs through the orgasm, tears spilling from his baby blue eyes, as Bucky continues to thrust into him. His body is sensitive; Bucky can feel the puffiness around his rim and the soreness in his muscles.

He pulls out of Steve and bend his legs over his chest, almost folding Steve in half. He kneels on the bed and holds Steve calves, before thrusting into him in one smooth motion.

It's a blind rush to his own orgasm, but only due to the knowledge that Steve is happy and sated. Bucky moderates between sharp and shallow, hard and fast and slow and sensual thrusts. He rocks his hips, brushing Steve's prostate but not actively seeking out the bundle of nerves. He rocks into Steve, mouths praises and groans every now and then, as Steve involuntary clenches and tightens around him.

Bucky doesn't like to sound cocky or come across as a dick but he's pretty good in bed, has heard so from some past lovers and  innumerable times from Steve himself. He likes to pride himself on the fact that he can get Steve all hot and bothered from a kiss alone and having him begging with the simple act of removing a shirt. All said and done, for all his past glory, he's not expecting Steve to get hard again after his fourth orgasm. Somewhere between feeling a sense of accomplishment, awe and wonder, he starts to fuck Steve harder and faster than before. Maybe it's the pure animalistic instinct in him, maybe it's the simple fact that Steve is enjoying it so much or maybe it's the fact that   they both are here at a time when they are allowed to do this.  But whatever it is, it's like a fire in Bucky's gut, a clawing at his head that he can't ignore, doesn't want to ignore.

With every thrust he hits Steve's prostate dead on, with the accuracy and finesse of one of the world's best snipers. He won't last long,  having been on the edge for so long, but unlike Steve, Bucky's serum doesn't give him the liberty of multiple orgasms at the same time, so he holds on till Steve's sated. It doesn't take long, considering how sensitive his body already is, before Steve's coming onto his own stomach, adding to the existing mess there. The sight of Steve arching and the soft moans he's  making send Bucky spiralling to his own orgasm. His vision blackens and for a moment there's no noise around him other than the rush of blood in his ears and the pounding of his heart.

He closed his eyes and allowed himself a minute to catch his breath. It's important to take care of Steve now, his tiredness and aching body are not a priority at all, in fact they hardly matter. All that matters is Steve, like it's been for almost a century.

He pulls out of Steve, as gently as he can, but it still pulls a pained whimper from the blonde. The sound sears through Bucky's heart and makes it ache and throb. Seeing Steve in any sort of pain is like a dagger to Bucky's heart, even if it's the pain of a night spent in throes of seemingly endless pleasure. He places a kiss to Steve's sweat soaked forehead and gets out of bed, casting a look at his lover who was still floating in subspace. His face is a picture if bliss and tranquility and for once, in a really long time, he seems absolutely at peace with himself. A selfish part of Bucky doesn't want to shake him back to reality, wants him to float among the clouds, away from this cruel world, but the other part can't allow that.

He walks into the washroom and grabs a towel, before walking back into the kitchen. He grabs some almonds and cashew nuts, mentally makes a note to go grocery shopping, picks up a bottle of water and a packet of Steve's favourite chocolate cookies before making his way back his lover.

He dumps everything on the bedside table before climbing back on the bed and gentely wipes down Steve's body. He leans in  closer, places a kiss to his cheeks and whispers softly into his ears.

"You are so good Stevie. Absolutely amazing darling. I love you so much Stevie and I want you to come back to me. Open your eyes angel. Come on, please."

Steve made a soft noise in the back of his throat before opening his eyes. The glaze was still there, letting Bucky know that his baby wasn't back yet.

"That's it baby. Doing so good. Open your eyes and look at me baby, please. Come on let me see those baby blues."

Steve turned his head and have Bucky a dopey, wide eyed smile. He raised his arm with some effort and pulled Bucky towards him, buried his face in the nook where his neck meets his shoulder and sighed openly.

"Love you too Buck. Love you so much."

Bucky smiled at the slurring of Steve's words. Steve couldn't get drunk, but this was close enough. To know that Steve's inhibitor was him and not alcohol, makes Bucky's head spin, intoxicates him.

"Can you sit up for me Stevie?"

Steve nodded and tried, but his jelly limbs were not of much assistance. He tried twice but his body was too tired to support his weight and prop him up. Bucky hooked an arm under Steve's knees, another around his shoulder and picked him up bridal style, before shuffling onto the bed and sitting against the headboard with Steve on his lap, Bucky's arms secured around his torso. The blonde melted against Bucky's body, winced ever so slightly whenever he shifted and pain shot up his body, but didn't complain as he sat there  in his boyfriend's arms being beloved and adored.

Bucky held up an almond to Steve's mouth, which he ate immediately. Then a cashew nut, some water and then some dry fruits again. When Steve makes a face at the cashew nuts, Bucky switches them for the cookies. Steve smiles, all his teeth on display, as he basks in all the attention, glows in the love Bucky showers him in.

Watching Steve look so content, nibbling on the food Bucky's feeding him, his heart, mind and soul fixated on Bucky, makes Bucky's eyes water, heart clench.

"God, I love you so much Steve. So much that it makes my heart hurt. You make everything better, all the pain and nightmares, you drive them away. I don't care about the last seventy years, as long as I get to be here with you. You're my family, my love and my entire heart. You're my angel Stevie and if we were to part, through death or choice, I wouldn't be able to bear the pain. I'll always love, I've always only loved you. You're it for me Stevie, my past, my now and my future forever."

He's crying. But he can't stop, not when Steve rests his head on his chest and looks up at Bucky with teary eyes. Not when Steve softly sobs into his chest, wraps his arms around Bucky and places a kiss right above his heart.

"I love you too Buck. More than words can encapsulate. I've loved you even before I knew what love was, will love you till I die. You're it for me too Buck, I can't live without you. I've already tried and it's not the same, it's a mere existence not living. You are my happiness, my love and my heaven. You're home to me Bucky. Wherever you are is home, even if it's the ramshackle back in Brooklyn."

As he looks down at Steve, he realises that this is home. Not the four walls that surround them, but his Steve. Steve's his home, his safe place and he'll always return home, even after seventy years of brainwashing and a civil war. Because home is where his heart is and it is with Steve.

He places a soft kiss to Steve's forehead and wipes away his tears. Tears don't suit Steve's face, a smile does. He presses small kisses to every inch of Steve's face, chuckles along when the blonde giggles at the show of affection and rests his head atop Steve's, tightens the hold around his torso.

"How about we take a bath? Warm water and those bath bombs you bought? After that we can take a long nap. Not for seventy years though, a little shorter."

Bucky chuckled at his own joke and Steve joined along. It's a miracle in itself that after everything they've been through they can still laugh and smile, more so at the horrors they have faced. But humour is their way of coping, laughter the way to forget.

"Don't wanna move. You're comfortable."

"Stevie, please darling. We're both covered in sweat, lube and cum. When we wake up later, we'll probably be stuck together."

"That's great. Let's do that. We'll be stucky."

Bucky sighed exasperatedly. Getting Steve to move was always a task, the man was the laziest. But getting him to shower? Lord be praised if that happened.

"What if I promise to shampoo your hair and wash your back?"

"How about you fuck me in the tub?"

"Jesus Christ Stevie. You're already wincing and tired but that's all you can think about?"

Steve shrugged and gave Bucky a filthy grin before sitting a little straighter . Bucky knows that whatever follows will be something he'll secretly like but will never admit to liking.

"You're like a father. All strictness and protectiveness."

"I just want you to be safe and happy and protected. I want you to live Steve, not just exist."

A flash of fondness and grief flashed in Steve's eyes before the playfulness returned. Bucky raised his eyebrows slightly causing Steve to duck his head and whisper against Bucky's chest.

"Then let's go for a bath daddy. Anything you say."

Bucky choked on air at the choice of words, before recovering and picking Steve up in his arms. He carried him to the bathroom and closed the door behind them with a kick.

"You punk."

This was probably going to take a while.

***

A shower and a change of sheets later, the two men found themselves cuddling on the bed, arms around each other and legs intertwined together. The silence hung around them, comfortable and familiar like the words to a loved song or a well worn sweater.

Bucky carded his fingers through Steve's golden hair, flopping over his forehead like an halo over his angel. Every now and then he would press a kiss to the halo, breathe in its scent and rest his forehead on top.

"I meant what I said earlier Buck. I don't want to do this anymore. You and I have fought our wars, served our country and it's people . We deserve a break Bucky, we deserve peace."

The truth was laid down, the words hung in the air but Bucky couldn't see any of it, couldn't come to terms with it. Steve's wars were over, he deserved the peace he spoke of. However, did Bucky deserve it? How could he deserve peace when his nights rung of the screams of his victims, how could he have happiness when his hands were stained with the blood of innocents, how could he give Steve a happily ever after then all he's ever brought is destruction and bloodshed.

"That's not true Bucky. None of that was you, you didn't have a choice. Hearing you think and speak of yourself like this hurts me so much because you don't deserve all this pain. All you deserve is happiness and lots of love. We all do. We'll find our life, our happiness I promise. And when we do none of our past will matter. Only you and I will."

It was with a heavy jolt that Bucky realised that he had spoken the words out loud. But that still didn't stem the barrage of tears that spilled when he heard Steve speak. When all was down and he felt the world was against him, his angel had always been there for him and was still there. Bucky will believe he's responsible for all he's done, but he can pretend for Steve. He can pretend to forgive himself for Steve, if that's what he wants. He'll always do whatever Steve wants.

"So what do you want? Small house by the beach and long nights in front of the fire?"

Steve giggled and cuddled closer to Bucky, before placing a lingering kiss to Bucky's neck.

" I want a house that smells of cookies, a small garden where we grow lavenders and a rocking chair on our patio. I want to teach children how to draw and paint and want to receive a kiss whenever you come home from work every evening. At night I want to cuddle next to you and go to sleep knowing that no buzzer will wake us up in the middle of the night. I want to wake up next to you and stay with you forever."

There's a question that trembles on Bucky's lips every time he sees Steve. A question that threatens to slip every time he hears Steve's laughter. A question that almost rears it's head every time Steve whispers an 'I love you'. Today is the day, Bucky will ask the question, no more backing out.

"Will you marry me Stevie ?"

He moves back to look at Steve's face. His baby is blushing all shades of red, tears streaming down his face and lips trembling as he nods vigorously.

"Thought you'd never ask, you jerk. I've waited so long."

"Forgive your boyfriend for being a coward darling. You can make him pay by marrying him."

"Not my boyfriend. My fiance."

Steve corrected with a shy smile and Bucky knew that he had done the right thing. Going a day without that smile was a waste, every minute a struggle. He could do this forever, lying next to Steve and admiring his beauty. He pulled Steve closer for another kiss and whispered against his lips.

"I'm with you till the end of the line baby."

***
25 AUGUST 2021

"I'm home Stevie. And I've bought candy."

Bucky smiled as his husband came running in from the kitchen and collided into his arms. He could smell the cookies baking in the kitchen and hear a soft melody drifting in from there. He inhaled deeply and sighed. It smelt and felt like home.

He dropped the bag he had been carrying and wrapped his arms around Steve, rocking them both back and forth. It had been a long day, training young SHIELD recruits and making sure nobody left without an arm or an eye. But all the tension, the weariness and the tiredness melts the moment he steps into their home, holds Steve in his arms and breathes in the scent of the life they've carved for themselves.

"How was work baby?"

Steve mumbled something into his shirt and then sighed. It's been years and this is one thing that hasn't changed.

"Was that gibberish? Or is my angel talking in tongues?"

Steve lifted his head and gave Bucky a chaste kiss. He parted, but kept close enough for their lips to still touch.

"The students are really talented. Today Michael drew a sunset, vibrant in red and yellow. It looked so beautiful and now I wonder if I'm good enough to be teaching them."

Bucky leaned in and kissed Steve again, and again and again, till Steve's breathless and delirious. The blonde laughs when they finally part and gives Bucky another chaste kiss.

"Okay I get it. I'm the best."

"Damn right you are angel. I'll kiss you another hundred times to show you just how good you are."

Steve laughs and the room's a hundred times brighter, the weight of a hundred years lighter. They're happy here, in a home they've built on love, cookies and teaching art. They're content with watching reruns of Sherlock, late night coffee and the occasional date night. They've found their paradise in their little garden, painting the walls and walks in the park. They've found peace in sleeping till midday, lazy afternoons and long drives. They rediscovered joy through pillow fights, kareoke and beaches.

They may not be out saving the world or fighting for their country, but they are saving each other daily. Protecting and keeping the other safe from the demons in their own head. Life's not perfect, an occasional nightmare here, a not so occasional burnt toast there. A pang of guilt comes, another winter passes. A tear falls down, a new flower blooms up.

Bucky's  giddy with happiness  because Steve's bubbling with life.

He picks Steve up bridal style and laughs when the blonde shrieks in terror. He carried him all the way out to their patio and sits down on the rocking chair with Steve in his lap. He places a kiss to Steve's temple and wraps his arms around Steve's torso.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

The sun's setting in the horizon, casting a palette of shades on the earth. The sky's painted a lovely shade of red, while Steve's eyes reflect the orange. Steve's lost in the beauty around him, his artistic mind capturing the sight to later recreate it on a canvas, while Bucky is enamoured by Steve's beauty.

"It is."

Steve answers, voice low and a little breathless. He turns around and smiles at Bucky, the same smile that Bucky fell in love with, the smile that grazes their wedding photos and the same smile that greets him every morning when he wakes up.

"What are you staring at?"

"You."

Bucky replied simply. Steve shook his head, smiled shyly and pointed towards the furthest end of their garden.

"Planted some daisies over there. Once it grows, it's gonna be beautiful. I was thinking about planting some jasmines next time. Our home is gonna smell amazing. Maybe I should buy some orchids too. What do you think?"

"I can't differentiate between those flowers you spoke about, but I'm sure whatever you just said is gonna be perfect."

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed exaggeratedly.

"I don't know how I put up with you. You still have all the stupid with you."

"Yup I do. And that's why I married you."

Steve turned around and smacked Bucky's chest. Bucky pouted, crossed his arms around his chest and turned his face away from Steve.

"Meanie."

"I'm the meanie? You said marrying me was stupid."

"You said I was stupid. You meanie."

Steve's facade fell immediately and he laughed at Bucky's expression. Bucky joined along and together they laughed till their stomachs hurt. Three years ago, they were just dreaming of this day, contemplating how it'd affect the world and them. Today, that day is a distant memory.

In their home there are new memories. Memories of their wedding, of Bucky's burnt breakfast, of dancing in the kitchen, of breaking countless phones, of struggling with technology, of building a treehouse, of grocery shopping disasters, of gardening together and of watching the sunsets and sunrises. And that's all he needs, all he wants. The gold band around his finger, the smell of lavender in the air, cookies in the oven, the rocking chair on the patio and Steve in his arms.

He may still not be welcomed into heaven but Bucky has made earth his paradise and life his daydream.