Why shouldn’t she have them both?
It started on that horrible month when she’d been without Edward for so long and she was suffering every waking second – and most of the dream ones as well. She had endangered her life to be able to get glimpses of him, even if they were some astral telepathy or just her own subconscious playing with memories.
Finally she had found some solace in the company of her dear friend Jacob, by making him build her a motorcycle and spending a lot of time with him.
Beautiful, warm, darling Jacob. She liked him a lot, but recently it had started to feel like more. Small purring inside her every time he smiled flirtingly or was very near her, which happened a lot. His friends had teased him about being in love with her and she had laughed, embarrassed but happy.
And then suddenly, after that stupid movie night, he had abandoned her as well.
Later she found him in a pouring rain in his family’s yard. He had cut off his long hair and damn he was buff, almost unreally so. The cold rain made her shiver but Jacob didn’t seem to mind. Steam was rising from his shirtless upper body. She gasped at the sight.
“I thought you were too sick to come outside!” she yelled at him.
“Go away”, Jacob said.
After that talk, which left her confused, as was always with these weirdly protective, dramatic boys, she didn’t know what to think. Something had happened to Jacob, had changed him. He sounded determined -no, fatalistic.
Tonight. She hears pebbles being thrown at her window. Her first thought is “Edward!” but then she realizes it couldn’t be him. Slowly she gets up from her bed and goes to look. It’s Jacob. Still shirtless even at night. What the heck is that about?
“You scared me”, she whispers, loud enough for him to hear.
“Back up, I’m coming up”, he says and jumps/climbs up using the tree and the wall like he’s a monkey. His agility and physical strength makes Bella take a deep breath. She feels again the longing inside her. Damn it, why does he have to be this hot?
They just look at each other for a moment. Bella is amazed at how this 16-year-old boy can look like that, like he’s been at the gym or climbing trees for the last three months non-stop. She feels that purring again, her abdomen jolts and she’s afraid he will notice this time.
“Look, I’m... I’m sorry”, Jacob says after a while and starts moving towards her. A desire surges in her and she has to try to hide it, make him stop advancing. Awkwardly she puts her fist against his tight six-pack to keep him away, to keep him at least that arm’s length away from her. That trick doesn’t work as intended, she can now feel his hot skin, his tight muscles and how her touch makes his abdomen spasm. Her desire gets fuel from that and she tries to hide it by frowning, as always.
“For what?” she asks.
“I wish I could explain. But I literally can’t”, he says, nervous. His cheeks have more color now, which seems weird.
“If you ever had a secret you couldn’t tell anyone, one that wasn’t yours to share… well, that’s what it’s like for me. But worse”, he continues.
He sits at the end of her bed and she goes to him. Trying to comfort him she grabs his short hair.
“I hate what they’ve done to you”, she sighs. Jacob gently takes her wrist and turns it to look at the bite mark she has there. Look who’s talking, his eyes seem to say. She shudders at his touch.
“I mean, the killer part is you already know!” he exclaims and stands up so his face comes near hers and she has no time to move. Her blush deepens. She’s certain he sees it by now. He takes a breath and something flashes in his eyes, a knowing look, right before his pupils grow wider. His beautiful lips are apart and she sees he is blushing too.
“Bella… you smell heavenly”, he says all of a sudden, his voice a low murmur that makes her shiver. He nudges his nose lightly at her cheek but then moves back, giving her that two inch space.
“What?” she frowns. She knows it would be unfair to play innocent but it’s the only way to save the situation. His body sends heat even more than normally and she has a many-layered urge to just dive into the boy’s arms. Even inside the house it’s a bit cold at this time of year...
“I can sense what my nearness does to you, you know”, Jacob whispers, deciding to drop all the coyness and tell her how much he knows. He’s been silent so far out of friendliness, politeness, but now… things are different. Now he wants to shake her resolve, wants to make her see him as a man.
“Sense… and smell”, he adds, smiling with a flirt that goes straight to Bella’s core. She gasps, only a fraction of it being embarrassment. He’s too close to her. She had thought the state of her underwear would be her own secret, but apparently she smells. Oh god.
“S… stop it”, she says weakly and backs a step. She cannot look him in the eyes but that just makes her see all the rest of him which isn’t helping her state at all. Her wandering gaze happens to pass the front of his shorts and she has to close her eyes. There’s a visible bulge. She swallows and tries to hide the jerk of her hips – the throbbing of her core is so strong. Dear god, I want him, she thinks. What am I supposed to do?
“God… Bella…” Jacob huffs with a voice that makes her open her eyes again.
His hands are clenched into fists and his breathing is heavy. His lips are parted and his eyes are dark, almost black like a hungry vampire’s. He can’t be angry about anything… so it has to be something else. And she knows what that something is.
“Jake… maybe… it’s better you leave…” she says, wanting to say something completely different.
They look each other for a while, standing very close, breathing deeply.
“Are you sure that’s what you really want?” he asks, his voice husky with desire. He moves just a tiny bit closer to her. She inadvertently looks down at his front and then realizes what she’s doing and looks up with haste. He saw it. He’s smirking.
“No… I…” she stammers and doesn’t know what to say. Her whole body is burning now, her ears are ringing and her heart beats fast.
“You want me”, Jacob says, simply, with the knowledge of a wolf even if as a human he’s as inexperienced as Bella. She gasps.
He moves closer and her back hits the wall softly. She looks into his eyes, to his lips. Her eyes are dark now too. The tan-skinned boy moves slowly closer. Her breathing is heavy.
“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to”, he whispers and she knows it’s true, she trusts him completely. Just that she doesn’t trust herself too much. His attentions are the best balsam for her broken heart and this… this is even better.
His soft lips touch hers and she closes her eyes, whining weakly. The touch is heavenly, it’s what she’s been craving for ages. She opens her lips and he kisses deeper, groaning. Her core it set aflame and she can’t help it anymore, the threshold has been crossed. Her hands grab Jacob’s hair and she kisses him back passionately. He presses his hot body against hers and holds her waist with a burning grip. When he presses his denim-clad erection against her mound they both moan, startled at the pleasure and intensity of it.
He leaves her lips for a moment, looks into her eyes and sees her flaming desire. They’re both panting. He starts rocking ever so slightly, almost non-detected at first, but growing in daring. He sees her mouth open but she’s not saying anything, her eyes cast lower, like she’s concentrating. He’s so hard it’s painful and the jeans aren’t helping. He pushes with just a bit more pressure and she moans audibly. Jacob almost comes there and then. He puts his hand gently over Bella’s mouth.
“Sshh.” They are not alone in the house.
She jags his hand away and pulls his mouth on hers by his hair. She then raises her leg around his hips and he grabs her thigh. That’s all the permission he needs. He starts the rhythm again, now with more vigor, grinding up at her like they didn’t have all these clothes between them. Her hips meet his, she’s chasing the same feeling and has found the right spot. Their kiss becomes messy and frenzied and they still have to try to be quiet.
They rub against each other with a mutual rhythm now. She clutches his hair, his shoulders in a delirium and can barely keep her moan-filled panting low. He’s so close now but he wants it to last, wants her to—
Her eyes fly wide open. A deep, surprised moan escapes her lips and her pelvis jerks almost violently. He comes immediately with that, seeing white. He muffles his groan in her neck and holds her tightly in a hug. They rock gently together until their heartbeats have slowed near normal. Her hands roam slowly on his naked back.
“My god… Jacob…”
“If I had known… I didn’t… oh god.”
“Yeah. I know.”
That night she sleeps soundly without bad dreams.