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Kisses and Confessions

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As soon as Cappie's lips touch Evan's, he knows this was a bad idea, because not only have they been fighting more than ever, but they're sitting right there in front of their friends and girlfriends. It's easy enough to play it all off as a joke, though, especially with Evan actually trying to pull away, pissed off, but Cappie meant it as anything but.

Because yes, he could have answered the question, meant to, in fact, but unbidden, the confession Evan had made at the Amphora Society meeting of confessions had popped into his head. I've had a crush on my best friend for as long as I can remember.

Of course, Cappie knew at the time and still does, that Evan might not have been talking about him. The fact of the matter is, though, that they've been best friends pretty much forever, and certainly as long as they’ve been having crushes, so Cappie really doesn't think he had gotten the wrong idea from Evan's confession.

Why he decided to do something about it now, of all times, Cappie can't be sure. He's got a good thing going with Casey and had thought he'd been doing just fine with the reciprocal hate relationship with Evan. He snaps out of that line of thought as the game continues, but it's not long until everything becomes weird and they give up on Kiss and Tell in favor of sleep.

Cappie, however, finds himself unable to sleep right away, despite the buzz he's got going. His mind just keeps coming back to the brief moment of lips touching lips as though he has nothing better to do or think about. He does have to admit that he probably should figure out just what he's doing here, but he also knows that doing so is almost certainly going to end badly.

Cappie sits up carefully, making sure he doesn't wake Casey, and grabs the dusty old bottle, making his way to the far end of the bar, away from where everyone else is sleeping. He pours out a shot and downs it quickly; he's getting used to the taste, but it's still not good.

He gets a second shot down before he realizes that anyone else is up, and of course, of fucking course, it would be Chambers. He pours out another shot, hoping against hope that Evan will just go back to the table he'd been sleeping on once he returns from the bathroom, but no such luck.

Instead, Evan comes over and produces a shot glass from somewhere, setting it next to Cappie's. Cappie briefly considers leaving him hanging, but at this point, that would just be a petty measure designed to make him feel better about something he'd started in the first place. They both down their shots and sit for a moment in silence before Evan eventually breaks it.

"Rebecca broke up with me."

It's on the tip of Cappie's tongue to tell Evan that it's about time, and Rebecca was always too good for him, but suddenly, he's just too tired of their usual bullshit to bother.

"I didn't kiss you just because I didn't want to answer your question." It slips out unbidden, when all Cappie had meant to do was empathize about losing Rebecca; he must be drunker than he'd thought.

"Seems to be a lot of that going around tonight." Evan smiles a little sadly and looks down at the bar. He slides his shot glass back over toward Cappie, and Cappie pours them both another.

"Not enough of it, maybe," Cappie says, because it occurs to him that Evan's probably had more than his fair share of disappointing answers tonight.

"Yeah, maybe."

Evan downs his shot, and Cappie expects him to slam the glass down for another, but he doesn't. He toys with the glass while Cappie tips back his own shot. He could pour another, but it seems like the friendly portion of the evening is coming to a close for them.

The weird thing is that he can't quite tell which way it's going to go from here. They could easily go back to the status quo, but there's something else hovering there, just out of reach; something that maybe could be better than anything else they’ve had before.

"I didn't mind it as much as I should have."

At first, it seems like a non-sequitur, but Cappie is sure it's not. It comes slowly to his alcohol-fogged brain, but Cappie begins to figure it out. Evan could be talking about Rebecca breaking up with him, but Cappie doesn't think that's it. No, he gets the feeling that this is Evan's response to Cappie's confession, and it feels almost like a punch to the gut, how his stomach flips at the possibility.

If it is, it's implicit confirmation of Cappie's suspicion about what Evan said in that Amphora meeting, and he doesn't know what to do with it any more now than he had the first time around. There's still the thing with Casey that he can't quite give up, no matter how much he probably should, but he's not entirely sure that should or does have anything to do with this. He knows she would think so, and probably most everyone else would, too, but he's not so sure. Either way, he can't leave it alone, because for as many problems as they've had in recent years, he still can't help missing having Evan around all the time.

"Yeah, neither did I."

Evan's head doesn't exactly snap up from where it's slowly sunk to rest on the bar – they're both much too drunk for sudden movements – but Cappie is pinned remarkably quickly by Evan's stare. As they look at one another, Cappie becomes even more certain that he and Evan are talking about the same thing.

"But, Casey…" Evan doesn't finish the thought, but Cappie gets what he's saying.

"She doesn't have anything to do with this."

Evan nods slowly, and Cappie thinks maybe they're both getting it now. Everyone always seems to think that the core of their fight with each other is that they're both in love with Casey, and for awhile, Cappie might have said that, too. Only, it's always felt like it goes deeper than that, and now Cappie realizes just why that is, and no, it really doesn't have much to do with Casey other than that she got caught up in the middle of something that was changing between them.

"But what are we going to do about it?" Evan asks with the earnestness of the truly sloshed.

And that's the crux of the matter, really. Cappie gets that he has an important choice to make now, because if he goes with this, Casey will never understand. No, he's sure she wouldn't get that he loves her, but he loves Evan, too, despite all the ways in which they've hurt each other (and maybe is why they keep hurting each other).

Evan shifting closer breaks Cappie out of his thought process, and Cappie knows what's going on. Evan still wants this to happen, even after everything, and suddenly, Cappie wants nothing more than to follow through. He leans forward carefully and presses his lips to Evan's, and Evan doesn’t even hesitate in sinking into the kiss. It feels like nothing Cappie could have expected, but it doesn't feel even slightly wrong. Evan pulls back first, far sooner than Cappie might have liked.

"We're too drunk to finish this tonight."

Cappie's mind abruptly supplies how they might finish this – pressed up against the bathroom wall with their pants around their knees, a warm, unfamiliar hand on his dick – and he can't help but wish they could just do that, so there'd be no going back from this, but Evan's right; they're drunk, and a bar full of their friends is no place for it, either.

"Sleep it off, give it some thought, and give me a call, if you want."

With that, Evan finally wobbles his way back to his table, and Cappie heads toward the bathroom, thoughts swirling through his mind. He can't help but think that as much as he likes Casey pushing him to do better and take on life's challenges, she's not actually one of those challenges, herself. She's the easy road, the comfortable one where he can see just where they'll end up if he lets it happen. Evan, on the other hand; Evan is, and probably always will be, a challenge.

Cappie finishes up washing his hands and heads back out to Casey. He may still have some things to think about, but Cappie is pretty sure he knows which choice he's going to make. He just hopes that Evan will feel the same way in the morning.